Anyone who's had his blue suede shoes puked on before midnight knows that New Year's Eve is traditionally Amateur's Night. It's when all the rookies who don't keep in year-round, well-lubed party shape end up peacing out in embarrassingly early fashion. Don't be that guy. That guy sucks. Be the cool guy this New Year's. Be the life of the party. Be the guy who throws down hardest, who stays up latest, who breaks the most shit, and who maybe even has some group sex.
In order to help you on your way, here are 10 of the greatest party scenes in all of filmdom, and the lessons you can glean to someday earn your own Party-Pro card. Now go out there and rock this New Year's like Frank the Tank, Bluto, Thornton Melon and the rest of these guys who dared to show the world what it looks like to have real fun.
"Animal House"
When I was a drunken teen, before I became a drunken has-been, I threw a few of the best parties my high school has ever known. Whenever I see friends from that bygone era, they always have a foggy memory of one of those soirees, and I can see that glint of sadness in their eyes knowing they'll never have quite that much fun again. If you want to make your future friends look that sad, learn how to throw a party from the masters. And though it may seem old school at this point, you really should start with a toga party; you're just that much closer to nakedness, right from the get-go. Pour beer on top of anything and it's already more fun, throw beer on top of chicks in sheets and a funky soul band, and you got magic. It's also good to remember to always party in the face of adversity; as Eric "Otter" Stratton wisely states, upon hearing about the Delta house's imminent double secret probation: "They're gonna nail us no matter what we do, so we might as well have a good time. Toga... toga... toga..."
"Back to School"
![The Top 10 Movie Party Scenes To Help You Party Harder (And Therefore Better)]()
Thornton Melon understands, any party with Oingo Boingo—fronted by "The Simpsons" (and most everything else) composer Danny Elfman—is a better party than the party without. Interesting that such a connection should be the first thing that pops in my brain about this transformative film, considering I've based a good deal of my philosophy on Melon's own. Yet the first thing I recall is the band. So maybe that's the lesson here: a good band makes all the difference. Honestly, you don't even need a band. Just stellar tunes, played at the right times, always with the group in mind, always stoking the fires of dance. Getting twisted and dancing to "Dead Man's Party" with hot twisted girls is the greatest thing that ever happened to these kids. And rightly so. Melon is blowing minds, at college, where minds are meant to be so enhanced. That's what a good party can be; the place dreams are made of, where imagination can take hold, where your Longfellow can get straightened out. So stoke those fires. Build "intellectual curiosity," and if you can do so while also pulling off a silk robe, hot tub Nirvana is possible.
"Almost Famous"
![The Top 10 Movie Party Scenes To Help You Party Harder (And Therefore Better)]()
Lesson No. 1: pool parties are generally more fun. Lesson No. 2: while partying, "hang with good people" in bathing suits who like to smoke "righteous weed," and your likelihood of having a good time will increase exponentially. Lesson No. 3: go on an adventure, let the universe (and drugs) be your guide; if someone asks you to watch their snake being fed, you crank up some Black Sabbath and watch! And Lesson No. 4: if you're going to have anyone jump off the roof into your pool, always have them sign a waiver indemnifying the homeowner of responsibility first. (Well, that last lesson is free advice from my dad, and not actually in the movie, but a good lesson none-the-less.) Oh, and Lesson No. 5: always listen to your new friends when they tell you to jump.
"Great Gatsby"
![he Top 10 Movie Party Scenes To Help You Party Harder (And Therefore Better)]()
If only the ideal of the trickle down economy came under Baz Luhrmann's direction. In Baz's world, all you need is money, lots and lots of money. In my experience, old money is really the best kind for partying. Those guys are the real dirt bags of the bunch, who really know how to party. When you get the old guard's guard down, you get some of the most dubious depravity around. So I guess what I'm saying is you should party with rich people, they can afford to have more fun.
"Old School"
![The Top 10 Movie Party Scenes To Help You Party Harder (And Therefore Better)]()
Lesson #1: continue partying with the guys you grew up with, well into your 30s, it can only be productive. Lesson No. 2: if you're throwing a party, be sure to name it; Mitchapalooza isn't just legendary because of the events that went down, it's because people share a common language with which to refer to such momentous tomfoolery, it's the verbal essence of a hashtag. Lesson No. 3: feed your Frank. If you have a wild one like Frank the Tank inside you, you owe it to the world to let him out. At least do one funnel, just to make sure you've still got it. And if that should happen to unleash the inner Tank, love that inner Tank, and follow him naked to the quad.
"PCU"
There's a lot to learn from Droz, Gutter and the rest of the Pit dwellers. First of all, it's to not take anything too seriously, except perhaps for having fun. Take fun seriously. Fight for your right to party, as three wise men once said. And when the Man (or Womyn) tries to keep you down, you make even more spectacular fun. Which is perfectly expressed in the clip above, when Jeremy Piven eloquently poetizes what the world of PCU is longing for, and what the world in general could really use at this point: a healthy dose of beer and sex.
"Revenge of the Nerds"
When in doubt, wonder joints really do tend to lighten the mood. That's not just movie magic right there, folks, that's truth. Yes, I'm totally condoning weed. I don't care how dorky you think you are, inside you, there's a funky motherfunker, just waiting to cold kick it live. Weed is a great way to get in touch with that. Just look at Poindexter's hips after he smokes a little doobie and allows Michael Jackson to enter his bloodstream. He turns into a veritable party animal, with moves that make the coeds take note. So the lesson here is: smoke weed and you'll be cool. Got it?
"Superbad"
Roll with it. If something kinda weird goes down, just let it be. Accept that partying comes with certain unexpected outcomes, which are all part of the adventure, and move on. Say, "rock 'n' fucking roll," and move on. Jonah Hill gets this half right during the party scene in "Superbad," when he rolls with the vibe and dances with a desirous woman who likes to call him "Big Poppa." But then he screws it up. Imagine if Jonah had just let it roll after getting a little period blood on his leg, instead of reacting like he'd just gotten period blood on his leg. Peace would have happened. That girl's fiancée never finds out, and everyone just goes on partying happily. Sometimes saying fuck it" is really the pathway to peace. And peace, love and getting laid—even if it is that time of the month—is what partying is all about.
"The Wolf of Wall Street"
![The Top 10 Movie Party Scenes To Help You Party Harder (And Therefore Better)]()
How was your office party this holiday season? Fun? Probably not, unless your office is one of those places like Stratton Oakmont which engages in "weekly acts of debauchery." If you're not shaving the heads of your co-workers at an office party, what are you doing? Is your company really doing it right? Are there naked marching bands and strippers at your office party? Has anyone in upper management thrown a midget lately? This is the kind of fun you're missing out on by staying at your boring job. Don't be afraid to judge your company by the office party they throw. If it ain't cool, it ain't cool. And if you're far cooler than everyone else there, then are you really in the right place? Also, Lesson No. 2: people on 'ludes should not drive.
"21 Jump Street"
As you can see in these last three entries, Jonah Hill gets proportionally less funny as he loses weight, but still, credit must be paid, the man has made it on this list three times now. So he has obviously taught us much over the years, and should be respected as a wise one. While the party lesson we learn from him in "Jump Street" isn't as difficult to grasp as some of the other ones, it's probably more important: while partying, never get stabbed.
In order to help you on your way, here are 10 of the greatest party scenes in all of filmdom, and the lessons you can glean to someday earn your own Party-Pro card. Now go out there and rock this New Year's like Frank the Tank, Bluto, Thornton Melon and the rest of these guys who dared to show the world what it looks like to have real fun.
"Animal House"
When I was a drunken teen, before I became a drunken has-been, I threw a few of the best parties my high school has ever known. Whenever I see friends from that bygone era, they always have a foggy memory of one of those soirees, and I can see that glint of sadness in their eyes knowing they'll never have quite that much fun again. If you want to make your future friends look that sad, learn how to throw a party from the masters. And though it may seem old school at this point, you really should start with a toga party; you're just that much closer to nakedness, right from the get-go. Pour beer on top of anything and it's already more fun, throw beer on top of chicks in sheets and a funky soul band, and you got magic. It's also good to remember to always party in the face of adversity; as Eric "Otter" Stratton wisely states, upon hearing about the Delta house's imminent double secret probation: "They're gonna nail us no matter what we do, so we might as well have a good time. Toga... toga... toga..."
"Back to School"
Thornton Melon understands, any party with Oingo Boingo—fronted by "The Simpsons" (and most everything else) composer Danny Elfman—is a better party than the party without. Interesting that such a connection should be the first thing that pops in my brain about this transformative film, considering I've based a good deal of my philosophy on Melon's own. Yet the first thing I recall is the band. So maybe that's the lesson here: a good band makes all the difference. Honestly, you don't even need a band. Just stellar tunes, played at the right times, always with the group in mind, always stoking the fires of dance. Getting twisted and dancing to "Dead Man's Party" with hot twisted girls is the greatest thing that ever happened to these kids. And rightly so. Melon is blowing minds, at college, where minds are meant to be so enhanced. That's what a good party can be; the place dreams are made of, where imagination can take hold, where your Longfellow can get straightened out. So stoke those fires. Build "intellectual curiosity," and if you can do so while also pulling off a silk robe, hot tub Nirvana is possible.
"Almost Famous"
Lesson No. 1: pool parties are generally more fun. Lesson No. 2: while partying, "hang with good people" in bathing suits who like to smoke "righteous weed," and your likelihood of having a good time will increase exponentially. Lesson No. 3: go on an adventure, let the universe (and drugs) be your guide; if someone asks you to watch their snake being fed, you crank up some Black Sabbath and watch! And Lesson No. 4: if you're going to have anyone jump off the roof into your pool, always have them sign a waiver indemnifying the homeowner of responsibility first. (Well, that last lesson is free advice from my dad, and not actually in the movie, but a good lesson none-the-less.) Oh, and Lesson No. 5: always listen to your new friends when they tell you to jump.
"Great Gatsby"
If only the ideal of the trickle down economy came under Baz Luhrmann's direction. In Baz's world, all you need is money, lots and lots of money. In my experience, old money is really the best kind for partying. Those guys are the real dirt bags of the bunch, who really know how to party. When you get the old guard's guard down, you get some of the most dubious depravity around. So I guess what I'm saying is you should party with rich people, they can afford to have more fun.
"Old School"
Lesson #1: continue partying with the guys you grew up with, well into your 30s, it can only be productive. Lesson No. 2: if you're throwing a party, be sure to name it; Mitchapalooza isn't just legendary because of the events that went down, it's because people share a common language with which to refer to such momentous tomfoolery, it's the verbal essence of a hashtag. Lesson No. 3: feed your Frank. If you have a wild one like Frank the Tank inside you, you owe it to the world to let him out. At least do one funnel, just to make sure you've still got it. And if that should happen to unleash the inner Tank, love that inner Tank, and follow him naked to the quad.
"PCU"
There's a lot to learn from Droz, Gutter and the rest of the Pit dwellers. First of all, it's to not take anything too seriously, except perhaps for having fun. Take fun seriously. Fight for your right to party, as three wise men once said. And when the Man (or Womyn) tries to keep you down, you make even more spectacular fun. Which is perfectly expressed in the clip above, when Jeremy Piven eloquently poetizes what the world of PCU is longing for, and what the world in general could really use at this point: a healthy dose of beer and sex.
"Revenge of the Nerds"
When in doubt, wonder joints really do tend to lighten the mood. That's not just movie magic right there, folks, that's truth. Yes, I'm totally condoning weed. I don't care how dorky you think you are, inside you, there's a funky motherfunker, just waiting to cold kick it live. Weed is a great way to get in touch with that. Just look at Poindexter's hips after he smokes a little doobie and allows Michael Jackson to enter his bloodstream. He turns into a veritable party animal, with moves that make the coeds take note. So the lesson here is: smoke weed and you'll be cool. Got it?
"Superbad"
Roll with it. If something kinda weird goes down, just let it be. Accept that partying comes with certain unexpected outcomes, which are all part of the adventure, and move on. Say, "rock 'n' fucking roll," and move on. Jonah Hill gets this half right during the party scene in "Superbad," when he rolls with the vibe and dances with a desirous woman who likes to call him "Big Poppa." But then he screws it up. Imagine if Jonah had just let it roll after getting a little period blood on his leg, instead of reacting like he'd just gotten period blood on his leg. Peace would have happened. That girl's fiancée never finds out, and everyone just goes on partying happily. Sometimes saying fuck it" is really the pathway to peace. And peace, love and getting laid—even if it is that time of the month—is what partying is all about.
"The Wolf of Wall Street"
How was your office party this holiday season? Fun? Probably not, unless your office is one of those places like Stratton Oakmont which engages in "weekly acts of debauchery." If you're not shaving the heads of your co-workers at an office party, what are you doing? Is your company really doing it right? Are there naked marching bands and strippers at your office party? Has anyone in upper management thrown a midget lately? This is the kind of fun you're missing out on by staying at your boring job. Don't be afraid to judge your company by the office party they throw. If it ain't cool, it ain't cool. And if you're far cooler than everyone else there, then are you really in the right place? Also, Lesson No. 2: people on 'ludes should not drive.
"21 Jump Street"
As you can see in these last three entries, Jonah Hill gets proportionally less funny as he loses weight, but still, credit must be paid, the man has made it on this list three times now. So he has obviously taught us much over the years, and should be respected as a wise one. While the party lesson we learn from him in "Jump Street" isn't as difficult to grasp as some of the other ones, it's probably more important: while partying, never get stabbed.