Have you ever been stuck in a drive-thru for an extended amount of time and you knew it was because the person in front of you is a complete idiot? Well, if you've ever wanted to be that person or maybe you fear that it might be you, here's a handy guide to let you know once and for all how to be the most annoying person at a fast food drive-thru.
Don't look at the menu until the last possible moment.
You know how they have those little preview menus to look at while you're waiting in line? Screw those things. You might not even open your eyes until someone asks to take your order. Also, it's McDonalds. They have cheeseburgers. They've always had cheeseburgers. Why does it take you so long to figure out which cheeseburger you want to eat?
Look down at your phone so you don't notice when the car in front of you is moving forward.
There are 18 cars behind you waiting to get chicken sandwiches before lunch is over, but you haven't moved your car ahead despite everyone in front of you getting their already and taking it home because you're looking down at your Facebook timeline. Stop inviting people to play Pirate Adventures and look up while you're operating a motor vehicle, you ghoul.
"Ummmmmmmmm..."
Order your food like this:
Arby's: Can I take your order?
You: Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm can I get ummmmmmmmmmmmmmm a uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh numberrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr two? No wait. Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmm
They'll love that.
Split your order 37 different ways.
Can you just put it all on one and have everyone else Venmo you? Nah. How about you have everyone in your car do a separate order and spend the next 25 minutes trying to figure out which card goes with which order and who got extra pickles on their burger. That's a good use of time and definitely not the most frustrating and annoying thing you could possibly do when ordering some Burger King.
Don't get your money ready while waiting in line.
Forget paying with a card or having the cash ready as soon as you pull up to the window. Sure they told you the exact amount when you ordered and you had five minutes to prep, but no thanks. Instead you're going to wait until she tells you the total and you're going to start digging under your seat and in your cupholder for dimes and pennies so you can be sure to give them exact change. Guess what? It's not quicker when you have to go on a full expedition into the depths of your car to find a nickel.
Leave your music at full volume the whole time.
It's difficult enough to hear anything through that rusted tin can system that hasn't been repaired since the late '80s. You've decided to make it even more impossible by blasting Limp Bizkit's Greatest Hits while ordering a bunch of chicken. Why are you still listening to Limp Bizkit, anyway? There are more issues here than just your rude driving.
Park as far away from the window as humanly possible.
Pull up to the second window and make sure your car is so far away the employee has to dangle out the window to grab each and every nickel from your sweaty, awful hand. Mr. Fantastic couldn't even hand you your beef n cheddar once you shift that bad boy into park.
Leave your window rolled up and look away from it as much as possible.
Rolling it up is one thing, but you need to completely ignore anything going on outside of your car. Is that employee hanging out the window like it's the passenger side of her best friend's ride trying to holler at you and hand you your McNuggets? Sounds like a whole lot of someone else's problem. You've got radio stations to scroll through.
Complain a lot.
Make sure you freak out about something really dumb like a missing packet of salt or that a lot of people also came to Taco Bell the same time as you. That's definitely something this 17-year-old working a register can control. Maybe yell at him for the way the parking lot is laid out because he's probably a city planner as well. He makes the decisions around here.
Whatever this is.
It's torture: The Nightmare Conversation You've Had At Every Fast Food Drive-Thru Window Ever