This Week's 20 Funniest Tweets
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Memphis Woman Drops F-Bomb During Live Report on Flooding
Almost seven inches of rain fell yesterday in some areas of Memphis, prompting the National Weather Service to issue a flash flood emergency. Flooding was so bad north of the city that the Memphis Fire Department had to send boats to help residents trapped in their homes and cars.
Because it's what every local television station does when bad weather hits the area, Action News 5 sent a young lady to report on homes that were being evacuated because of the heavy rains. Thanks to an eager resident, she didn't even have to ask what people in the neighborhood thought about the flooding or being asked to leave their homes:
While the reporter doesn't seem too thrilled about having to stand in the pouring rain to deliver her news report, it's a far cry from how pissed the local resident is about it.
Something tells us she wasn't too crazy about the fourth time the neighborhood flooded either.
Dropping an f-bomb during a live news report is always entertaining and shocking, but nothing will ever top this guy: Vulgar Videobomber Strikes Local News Report Once Again
Because it's what every local television station does when bad weather hits the area, Action News 5 sent a young lady to report on homes that were being evacuated because of the heavy rains. Thanks to an eager resident, she didn't even have to ask what people in the neighborhood thought about the flooding or being asked to leave their homes:
While the reporter doesn't seem too thrilled about having to stand in the pouring rain to deliver her news report, it's a far cry from how pissed the local resident is about it.
Something tells us she wasn't too crazy about the fourth time the neighborhood flooded either.
Dropping an f-bomb during a live news report is always entertaining and shocking, but nothing will ever top this guy: Vulgar Videobomber Strikes Local News Report Once Again
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Grandmas On Facebook Keep Accidentally Tagging Themselves As Grandmaster Flash
The latest in the amazing world of Tumblr comes to us at the expense of your grandmother. That poor old lady has been desperately attempting to stay in touch with you by dabbling in social media. As you can imagine, she's running into a lot of problems. One surprisingly common issue grandmas are running into is accidentally tagging themselves as hip-hop legend Grandmaster Flash whenever they post any sort of message on Facebook. That's right, Facebook's autofill feature is wreaking havoc on your poor Grandma Ruth. And that's where Love, Grampa and Grandmaster Flash comes in. This Tumblr is entirely dedicated to collecting screenshots of this hilarious mistake. Here are just a few of the many examples.
(h/t Uproxx)
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Super Bad Mario is Responsible for So Many Internet Fails
You know all those hilarious "fail" videos that we love to watch over and over again while laughing at other people's pain? Well, they're even funnier when you find out that the culprit responsible for these falls, face plants and other hilarious mishaps is none other than legendary video game character Mario. Turns out, he's actually quite the jerk.
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Nevada Nut Job Intentionally Drives Truck Into Stratosphere Casino
They say there is only one rule in Vegas: Don't cheat the casinos.
But you have to think that driving a truck through the front doors of one is also highly frowned upon.
![Ryan Brown drives through Stratosphere]()
According to the Las Vegas Sun, a 40-year-old man who was high on cocaine and speed was arrested Wednesday night after he intentionally drove his truck through the front of the Stratosphere casino.
Police said Ryan Brown wanted to jump from the 1,100-foot Stratosphere tower because he had just lost his job as an electrician at Burning Man after a domestic dispute with his wife, but he never got the chance after security guards and casino guests pounced on him when he got out of his truck.
Brown was charged with felony cocaine possession as well as driving under the influence of drugs and reckless driving, and he had to be restrained with a mask after becoming "combative with corrections officers."
The only good news for Brown is that if the Clark County Detention Center is in the midst of a "Dress Like Your Favorite Andy Dick Character" contest, he's a shoo-in for first place:
![Andy Dick in Road Trip]()
At least Brown did security a favor and left his clothes on: Drunk Man Crashes Into Restaurant Then Gets Out and Masturbates
But you have to think that driving a truck through the front doors of one is also highly frowned upon.
According to the Las Vegas Sun, a 40-year-old man who was high on cocaine and speed was arrested Wednesday night after he intentionally drove his truck through the front of the Stratosphere casino.
Police said Ryan Brown wanted to jump from the 1,100-foot Stratosphere tower because he had just lost his job as an electrician at Burning Man after a domestic dispute with his wife, but he never got the chance after security guards and casino guests pounced on him when he got out of his truck.
Brown was charged with felony cocaine possession as well as driving under the influence of drugs and reckless driving, and he had to be restrained with a mask after becoming "combative with corrections officers."
The only good news for Brown is that if the Clark County Detention Center is in the midst of a "Dress Like Your Favorite Andy Dick Character" contest, he's a shoo-in for first place:
At least Brown did security a favor and left his clothes on: Drunk Man Crashes Into Restaurant Then Gets Out and Masturbates
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Hawaii Mother Loses Her Mind During Epic Bout of Road Rage
You might have already guessed, as the video below is from a road rage incident and not a Thursday afternoon knitting club, that it's NSFW.
According to Ryan Arakaki's YouTube page, he recently approached an intersection in Hawaii and noticed a stopped car with a good "car and a half length" between the front of it and the traffic lights. Since the driver had her head down, he decided to switch lanes and pull around in front of her.
Apparently after that seemingly harmless maneuver, shit hit the fan:
Here's the full description from the uploader:
"As I made my turn I could hear the lady's horn blaring. I looked in my rear view and I could see she was visibly upset. She continued to tailgate me and follow my closely. She then tried to either overtake me or get on the side of me to try and run me off the road. She did this a few times. I slowly drove the speed limit and made it to a shopping center nearby. At this point the lady continued to follow me and I knew she wasn't going to let me go so I took out my phone and started recording her."
The most disturbing part of the video has to be the fact that somebody like that is reproducing.
Road rage is so much more fun in Russia: Russian Road Rage Incident Catches Mickey Mouse and SpongeBob SquarePants Beating Driver Up
According to Ryan Arakaki's YouTube page, he recently approached an intersection in Hawaii and noticed a stopped car with a good "car and a half length" between the front of it and the traffic lights. Since the driver had her head down, he decided to switch lanes and pull around in front of her.
Apparently after that seemingly harmless maneuver, shit hit the fan:
Here's the full description from the uploader:
"As I made my turn I could hear the lady's horn blaring. I looked in my rear view and I could see she was visibly upset. She continued to tailgate me and follow my closely. She then tried to either overtake me or get on the side of me to try and run me off the road. She did this a few times. I slowly drove the speed limit and made it to a shopping center nearby. At this point the lady continued to follow me and I knew she wasn't going to let me go so I took out my phone and started recording her."
The most disturbing part of the video has to be the fact that somebody like that is reproducing.
Road rage is so much more fun in Russia: Russian Road Rage Incident Catches Mickey Mouse and SpongeBob SquarePants Beating Driver Up
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Trends You'll Absolutely Regret in 5 Years
When you weren't sporting a middle-part-bowl-cut your hair was once a crusty mess of Dep. Your daily uniform was a plaid-shirt-cargo-short combo. And don't get us started on your taste in music. Whatever was on your Discman, it was regrettable, so to let you get ahead of that shame we're bringing to light some current trends you're going to wish you never bought into.
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It's not even for sale yet, but we're already imagining all that will go wrong here -- from radiation on your wrist, to cracking the screen every time you gesticulate wildly at your desk, not to mention appearing like an Inspector Gadget throwback whenever you converse with Siri. Not to mention, it's just plain ugly.
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They'll be completely out of style right around when your sperm count's completely been wiped out, due to lack of oxygen.
3) FitBit
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Yes, we're talking about the tiny gadget that would be counting your steps, if it wasn't already layers deep in your junk drawer.
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If you have the same hair as Johnny Bravo, you should probably re-evaluate that life choice.
5) Long-ass Beards
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No one wants to get up in there, so let the fad pass, bust out the shears, and get re-acquainted with a romantic life.
6) The High Trouser / Sockless Shoe Look
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Socks serve a multifold purpose. They're a receptacle for your foot sweat and odor, and provide a cushion of comfy between flesh and footwear. Bring them back, please.
7) Food Mash-ups
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Sure, it might sound deliciously exciting now, but after another few years of popular-lunch-item-wrapped-in-popular-breakfast-item, or pizza-topped-with-something-that-should-never-be-on-a-pizza, or waffle-cone-filled-with-savory-hodge-podge, we'll tire of this trend, and leave the mash-ups to potatoes. And rightfully so.
1) The iWatch
It's not even for sale yet, but we're already imagining all that will go wrong here -- from radiation on your wrist, to cracking the screen every time you gesticulate wildly at your desk, not to mention appearing like an Inspector Gadget throwback whenever you converse with Siri. Not to mention, it's just plain ugly.
2) Skinny Jeans
They'll be completely out of style right around when your sperm count's completely been wiped out, due to lack of oxygen.
3) FitBit
Yes, we're talking about the tiny gadget that would be counting your steps, if it wasn't already layers deep in your junk drawer.
4) The Hipster "Comb Up and Over"
If you have the same hair as Johnny Bravo, you should probably re-evaluate that life choice.
5) Long-ass Beards
No one wants to get up in there, so let the fad pass, bust out the shears, and get re-acquainted with a romantic life.
6) The High Trouser / Sockless Shoe Look
Socks serve a multifold purpose. They're a receptacle for your foot sweat and odor, and provide a cushion of comfy between flesh and footwear. Bring them back, please.
7) Food Mash-ups
Sure, it might sound deliciously exciting now, but after another few years of popular-lunch-item-wrapped-in-popular-breakfast-item, or pizza-topped-with-something-that-should-never-be-on-a-pizza, or waffle-cone-filled-with-savory-hodge-podge, we'll tire of this trend, and leave the mash-ups to potatoes. And rightfully so.
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The Evolution of What it Means to be 'Macho'
The concept of 'manliness' is a beguiling, quixotic notion; you've got to exude a certain degree of it to succeed, but just a touch too much and you're deemed a d-bag. And not only is your perceived level of machismo completely subjective, but what's considered the norm's constantly changing. We take a look at what a real guy's guy has looked like at different stages of history.
Pre-historic Times
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Ancient Civilization
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Either work out that whole crop-rotation thing before the other guys, or be damn good with a sword. Those are your only two chances to move up, buddy.
Viking Manifest Destiny Days
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Industrial Revolution
![Macho]()
Grandpa's Glory
![Macho]()
Right outta 'the service,' work your way up from the mail room to partner at the same company. Wear a snappy suit, and you'll be rewarded with slippers and a scotch at the end of a hard day by your long-suffering lady.
Ballin' Boomers
![Macho]()
Modern Times
![Macho]()
Pre-historic Times
Club animal. Make fire. Sexy, no?
Ancient Civilization
Either work out that whole crop-rotation thing before the other guys, or be damn good with a sword. Those are your only two chances to move up, buddy.
Viking Manifest Destiny Days
Pilaging's the only way to anyone's heart.
Industrial Revolution
If you manage to clock a 20hr day so as to feed your half-dozen kids occasionally, and avoid the black lung, you're a total dude.
Grandpa's Glory
Right outta 'the service,' work your way up from the mail room to partner at the same company. Wear a snappy suit, and you'll be rewarded with slippers and a scotch at the end of a hard day by your long-suffering lady.
Ballin' Boomers
It seems counterintuitive to show how manly you are by growing your hair long and hitchhiking to the Haight-Ashbury with randoms in a cloud of controlled substances, but that's how dad did it.
Modern Times
Got a job? Don't live with Mom and Dad? You've made it, bro. Welcome to modern-day macho -- the benchmark of millennial success.
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Jonathan Papelbon Grabs His Crotch in Response to Booing Phillies Fans
Since it wasn't Michael Jackson Day at Citizens Bank Park, the Phillies closer was promptly ejected.
Heading into Sunday's game against the Miami Marlins, Jonathan Papelbon had saved 37 of 40 games and compiled a 1.56 ERA and 0.84 WHIP. But Philadelphia's stopper had also made it known that he wanted to play for a contender, drawing the ire of some of the Phillies faithful.
After yielding four runs on four hits in one pathetic inning of work, it was Papelbon's right arm that drew a chorus of boos Sunday afternoon, and to say he didn't take too kindly to it would be a bigger understatement than saying Kate Upton is kind of attractive.
Umpire Joe West immediately ejected the Phillies closer from the game, invoking a psychotic march onto the field by Papelbon a la George Brett getting the hook for having too much pine tar on his bat. Things became so heated at one point that West had to grab Papelbon by the jersey just to get him out of his grill.
![joe west, jonathan papelbon]()
Papelbon told reporters after the game that he "had to make an adjustment," and it was in no way directed at the booing fans.
Let's be honest: If you're buying that, then you probably also believe everything Roger Goodell says.
This is still worse than Papelbon's effort Sunday afternoon: There is Somehow a New Worst First Pitch of All Time
Heading into Sunday's game against the Miami Marlins, Jonathan Papelbon had saved 37 of 40 games and compiled a 1.56 ERA and 0.84 WHIP. But Philadelphia's stopper had also made it known that he wanted to play for a contender, drawing the ire of some of the Phillies faithful.
After yielding four runs on four hits in one pathetic inning of work, it was Papelbon's right arm that drew a chorus of boos Sunday afternoon, and to say he didn't take too kindly to it would be a bigger understatement than saying Kate Upton is kind of attractive.
Umpire Joe West immediately ejected the Phillies closer from the game, invoking a psychotic march onto the field by Papelbon a la George Brett getting the hook for having too much pine tar on his bat. Things became so heated at one point that West had to grab Papelbon by the jersey just to get him out of his grill.
Papelbon told reporters after the game that he "had to make an adjustment," and it was in no way directed at the booing fans.
Let's be honest: If you're buying that, then you probably also believe everything Roger Goodell says.
This is still worse than Papelbon's effort Sunday afternoon: There is Somehow a New Worst First Pitch of All Time
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Kanye West Tells Concertgoer in Wheelchair to Stand Up
Geez, what's next? Refusing to continue your show until Stevie Wonder makes his way onto the stage and tells you what he sees?
![Kanye West concert prosthetic leg wheelchair]()
According to Huffington Post, Kanye West performed in Sydney, Australia Friday night and refused to continue his show until everyone at the concert was standing, including a woman with a prosthetic leg and a man in a wheelchair.
"I can't do this show until everybody stand up. Unless you got a handicap pass and you get special parking and shit," West told the crowd at the Qantas Credit Union Arena.
West continued to stand on stage and heckle the two concertgoers who weren't standing up until the woman with the fake leg stood and held it in the air (pictured left) while a bodyguard made his way through the crowd to make sure the guy who wasn't standing was indeed in a wheelchair.
One witness said that even though the crowd was making wheelchair motions and yelling that the man was in a wheelchair, West didn't start his performance of "Good Life" until his bodyguard gave him the thumbs up.
"This is the longest I've had to wait to do a song," West told the crowd. "It's unbelievable."
In fact, it's almost as unbelievable as inciting a crowd to chant "stand up" to a guy in a wheelchair.
This isn't the first time Kanye West has said something stupid: Kanye West Quotes are the Absolute Worst Quotes
According to Huffington Post, Kanye West performed in Sydney, Australia Friday night and refused to continue his show until everyone at the concert was standing, including a woman with a prosthetic leg and a man in a wheelchair.
"I can't do this show until everybody stand up. Unless you got a handicap pass and you get special parking and shit," West told the crowd at the Qantas Credit Union Arena.
West continued to stand on stage and heckle the two concertgoers who weren't standing up until the woman with the fake leg stood and held it in the air (pictured left) while a bodyguard made his way through the crowd to make sure the guy who wasn't standing was indeed in a wheelchair.
One witness said that even though the crowd was making wheelchair motions and yelling that the man was in a wheelchair, West didn't start his performance of "Good Life" until his bodyguard gave him the thumbs up.
"This is the longest I've had to wait to do a song," West told the crowd. "It's unbelievable."
In fact, it's almost as unbelievable as inciting a crowd to chant "stand up" to a guy in a wheelchair.
This isn't the first time Kanye West has said something stupid: Kanye West Quotes are the Absolute Worst Quotes
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Today's Funny Photos
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The Best of the 'Meth, Not Even Once' Meme
Meth is a serious addiction, but that doesn't stop the heartless people of the Internet from joking about it. Can you blame them? This collection of images that parodies the "Meth. Not even once." campaign are pretty damn funny. Let's kick it off with one of the newer additions to the bunch and move on from there:
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See also: The Lighter Side of Meth
See also: The Lighter Side of Meth
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Exclusive: Free Tickets to See 'The World's Greatest Tribute Bands' Season 4 Live
The "World's Greatest Tribute Bands" is back on AXS TV!
If you enjoy guys rocking out in costume singing some of your favorite tunes, this is for you.
The TV show is broadcast 100% live, nationwide from Whisky A Go Go ( that's on the Sunset Strip for those of you living under a rock).
Each week, a different tribute band is featured, and these bands are no joke. To be honest, some of them even sound (and look) better than the real thing.
This season "The World's Greatest Tribute Bands" pays tribute to Ozzy, Skynyrd, Van Halen, Pearl Jam, Blondie and more!
Tomorrow, Sept 16th, when you flip on the TV you will see Pyromania a tribute to Def Leppard, so Let's Get, Let's Get, Let's Get Rocked!
Oh and did we mention the show is hosted by Katie Daryl? We'd love to Pour Some Sugar On her...
BONUS: If you're in the Los Angeles area you can be part of the live TV audience for free, you're welcome.
FREE tickets are available right now, right here.
In case you can't make it to this one, here's are the bands playing throughout the rest of the season:
- September 16 a tribute to Def Leppard
- September 23 a tribute to Creedence Clearwater Revival
- September 30 a tribute to Billy Joel & Elton John
- October 7 a tribute to Heart
- October 14 a tribute to Van Halen
- October 28 a tribute to Ozzy & Black Sabbath
- November 4 a tribute to Boston & Styx
- November 11 a tribute to Pearl Jam
- November 18 a tribute to Lynyrd Skynyrd
- November 25 a tribute to Blondie
- December 2 a tribute to Neil Diamond
Tuesday's on AXS TV (that's the network owned by Mark Cuban)
10pm ET / 7pm PT
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Hilarious Modern Day Emoji Conversations
Print is dead. Words are out. Now we use a picture that says a thousand words instead. Welcome to the new age of "emoji and emoticonversations." Yes, we coined those terms; and no, we didn't check to see if someone else had coined them already. Enjoy these 14 funny emoji chats.
![emojis, emoji conversations, funny emoticonversations]()
Rocketman
![emojis, emoji conversations, funny emoticonversations]()
Time to Back Off
![emojis, emoji conversations, funny emoticonversations]()
Makes Perfect Sense
![emojis, emoji conversations, funny emoticonversations]()
Love Gun
![emojis, emoji conversations, funny emoticonversations]()
Pizza Pie
![emojis, emoji conversations, funny emoticonversations]()
Psycho
![emojis, emoji conversations, funny emoticonversations]()
Impressive
![emojis, emoji conversations, funny emoticonversations]()
Love/Hate Story
![emojis, emoji conversations, funny emoticonversations]()
Get Low
![emojis, emoji conversations, funny emoticonversations]()
'Murica
![emojis, emoji conversations, funny emoticonversations]()
Sexy Sax
![emojis, emoji conversations, funny emoticonversations]()
Cheers
![emojis, emoji conversations, funny emoticonversations]()
Fuck Tha Police
![emojis, emoji conversations, funny emoticonversations]()
Robbery
Rocketman
Time to Back Off
Makes Perfect Sense
Love Gun
Pizza Pie
Psycho
Impressive
Love/Hate Story
Get Low
'Murica
Sexy Sax
Cheers
Fuck Tha Police
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A Timeline Of Why You Lock Your Bedroom Door
As you go through life, you have a variety of different reasons for needing privacy. Early on, it's for play time. As you mature into a young adult, it's for a different type of play time. And then, once you're old enough, you just don't care about privacy at all anymore and everyone else just has to deal with it. Here's a breakdown of why the average male locks the door to his bedroom throughout his life.
![lock the door]()
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12 Very Weird Signs That Need Some Explaining
Look, we're sure some of these seemingly random signs make sense in whatever context they're in, but we could use a little explanation for what exactly is the reason behind them. If you know the stories behind them, feel free to email us at Wereallydon'tcarethatmuch@Youhavetoomuchtimeonyourhands.com.
![Random Signs, Funny Signs, Weird Signs]()
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(h/t Little White Lion)
(h/t Little White Lion)
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Penis Graffiti on Michigan High School Football Field Cancels Four Games
Let's be honest: That field looked like it was in need of an upgrade anyway.
According to UPI, four football games scheduled to be played at Bedford High School got the ax last week after vandals used grass killer to create a gigantic cranny ax in the middle of the football field.
Police think the vandals are two teens who got the idea from the internet, and they are also seeking a warrant for a 50-year-old mother who they think helped them out.
It's unknown if the teens purposely made the left testicle larger than the right.
More pics of things that look like dicks: 18 Photos of Things That Look Like a Penis
According to UPI, four football games scheduled to be played at Bedford High School got the ax last week after vandals used grass killer to create a gigantic cranny ax in the middle of the football field.
@Qewdi you must like the bedford foot ball field then hahaha pic.twitter.com/2TG9zgrphq
- Mike damron - wreck (@MikeyBigD) September 11, 2014
"It's unfortunate that we have to divert funds to take care of this, and not just the dollars but the man power and all of the things that go along with that," Bedford Schools Superintendent Mark Kleinhans said. He approximated that somewhere between $15,000 and $20,000 worth of sod and labor will be needed to remove the giant penis from the field in time for this week's varsity homecoming game.Police think the vandals are two teens who got the idea from the internet, and they are also seeking a warrant for a 50-year-old mother who they think helped them out.
It's unknown if the teens purposely made the left testicle larger than the right.
More pics of things that look like dicks: 18 Photos of Things That Look Like a Penis
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Live Concert Briefly Interrupted By Runaway Pig
There are few things as enjoyable as taking in a live music festival on a leisurely weekend. However, there are certain things that can add to the experience. Like when a band you hadn't heard of is surprisingly good or like when, you know...a pig gets loose from its pen and is then chased in front of everyone by a security guard. My guess is this is the work of that band's manager, who decided that letting a pig loose while his band was playing would be an excellent way to get some decent views for them on YouTube. Brilliant.
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Porn Blooper Stories From Today's Hottest Porn Stars
Warning: Links at the end of the article will take you to NSFW content from Fleshlight.
As many times as I've watched the bloopers and outtakes from my favorite movies, I had never really considered what type of shenanigans and outtakes would come from adult films. As funny as it is to see actors forget their lines, imagine how much better it would be if there were a dildo involved. The fine folks at Fleshlight let us talk to some of the top Fleshlight Girls to ask them the funniest, craziest, or most unexpected thing that happened while they were on set. Here are some of our favorites:
Angela White
![angela white, angela white porn star, angela white fleshlight]()
"On one of my first shoots the director said something funny while the lights were being changed. I was lying on my back with a large dildo inside me, and when I laughed it catapulted into the videographer's head."
Nina Hartley![nina hartley, nina hartley porn star, nina hartley fleshlight]()
"Since what we do is inherently silly/stupid/not normal, just being on the set is one big blooper. Anything having to do with flatulence, of course. We work with bodies and bodies can leak all sorts of things, especially female bodies. You do the math...
"Also, since mainstream porn is still pretty homophobic, any time semen gets from one man onto another man, as often can happen in multiple-man scenes, there is a lot of jumping around, as if someone has had acid spilled on him. Oh, and Peter North one time shot [his semen] so far that it hit the cameraman, who fell over backward, almost dropping the camera."
Tanya Tate
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"I was directing an all-girl movie and I was off camera watching the scene unfold. One girl was on all fours and had her bum up in the air. Another started licking her [ahem...rear end]. She tongued a bit deeper and suddenly the girl doing the licking stopped and screwed up her face. We had to pause the camera, as she was pulling a really funny face. When asked if she was OK she replied, "Oh yes I am n![joanna angel, joanna angel porn star, joanna angel fleshlight]()
ow, it was only a little bit of poop." Being a trooper, she just wanted to carry on. I am not sure where the poop went, I never asked. However, I did give her my toothbrush and some mouthwash so the girls could carry on."
Joanna Angel
"Last time I was directing a scene, it was a scene shot outside. We had to stop shooting because a giant wasp walked right through the scene, and the wasp was carrying a dead tarantula. One of the performers noticed it right by his foot and everyone started screaming. It was huge so we couldn't exactly squash it with a shoe. We sort of just had to wait and let the wasp slowly walk by. I am not sure why the wasp needed a dead tarantula - or where he was bringing it to - but it was pretty scary, and also funny."
Kayden Kross
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"I was working on the set of "Top Guns" and I was supposed to be this really badass knock-off of Iceman in our knock-off of a title you can probably very easily guess. So the idea is that I walk in and seduce a fellow pilot as part of a master plot to mess up the boys, because it is boys against girls, and the girls will win by sticking together and the boys will lose because they were too busy getting their d***s sucked. So I walk into our super high-budget locker room, seduce the guy, do a really cool move on the locker room bench, and then the super-well constructed set collapses. The weight of our combined bodies plus construction all fell on the one finger I need to get a scene done. So I was forced to continue the scene with the middle finger of my left hand. I don't want to get into details, but let's just say that a little manual manipulation of the pieces goes a long way towards making it all work d![teagan presley, teagan presley porn star, teagan presley fleshlight]()
own there. I am not left handed. I was sexually handicapped for three days. And also my nail polish chipped."
Teagan Presley
"When we shot one of our first big movies for skinworXXX, we had a very big star hanging out on set who was on a temporary break as she had just had a baby. She was using a supplement called Alli to lose weight. It basically makes it so you can't digest some of the fat you intake. Well, a few hours into the day, and she had a giant orange oil slick on the back of her jeans as she had an accident sneak up on her. The whole thing was captured on the behind-the-scenes for the movie and lives on in infamy."
WARNING: THESE ARE EXTREMELY NOT SAFE FOR WORK LINKS
For everything you need to know about Fleshlights, you can go here: http://www.fleshlight.com/?link=1336874 To learn more about all of the Fleshlight girls, you can go here: http://www.fleshlight.com/fleshlight-girls/fleshlight-toys/?link=1336887
For more porn star interviews, check this out: An Adult Conversation With Stoya
As many times as I've watched the bloopers and outtakes from my favorite movies, I had never really considered what type of shenanigans and outtakes would come from adult films. As funny as it is to see actors forget their lines, imagine how much better it would be if there were a dildo involved. The fine folks at Fleshlight let us talk to some of the top Fleshlight Girls to ask them the funniest, craziest, or most unexpected thing that happened while they were on set. Here are some of our favorites:
Angela White
"On one of my first shoots the director said something funny while the lights were being changed. I was lying on my back with a large dildo inside me, and when I laughed it catapulted into the videographer's head."
Nina Hartley
"Since what we do is inherently silly/stupid/not normal, just being on the set is one big blooper. Anything having to do with flatulence, of course. We work with bodies and bodies can leak all sorts of things, especially female bodies. You do the math...
"Also, since mainstream porn is still pretty homophobic, any time semen gets from one man onto another man, as often can happen in multiple-man scenes, there is a lot of jumping around, as if someone has had acid spilled on him. Oh, and Peter North one time shot [his semen] so far that it hit the cameraman, who fell over backward, almost dropping the camera."
Tanya Tate
"I was directing an all-girl movie and I was off camera watching the scene unfold. One girl was on all fours and had her bum up in the air. Another started licking her [ahem...rear end]. She tongued a bit deeper and suddenly the girl doing the licking stopped and screwed up her face. We had to pause the camera, as she was pulling a really funny face. When asked if she was OK she replied, "Oh yes I am n
ow, it was only a little bit of poop." Being a trooper, she just wanted to carry on. I am not sure where the poop went, I never asked. However, I did give her my toothbrush and some mouthwash so the girls could carry on."Joanna Angel
"Last time I was directing a scene, it was a scene shot outside. We had to stop shooting because a giant wasp walked right through the scene, and the wasp was carrying a dead tarantula. One of the performers noticed it right by his foot and everyone started screaming. It was huge so we couldn't exactly squash it with a shoe. We sort of just had to wait and let the wasp slowly walk by. I am not sure why the wasp needed a dead tarantula - or where he was bringing it to - but it was pretty scary, and also funny."
Kayden Kross
"I was working on the set of "Top Guns" and I was supposed to be this really badass knock-off of Iceman in our knock-off of a title you can probably very easily guess. So the idea is that I walk in and seduce a fellow pilot as part of a master plot to mess up the boys, because it is boys against girls, and the girls will win by sticking together and the boys will lose because they were too busy getting their d***s sucked. So I walk into our super high-budget locker room, seduce the guy, do a really cool move on the locker room bench, and then the super-well constructed set collapses. The weight of our combined bodies plus construction all fell on the one finger I need to get a scene done. So I was forced to continue the scene with the middle finger of my left hand. I don't want to get into details, but let's just say that a little manual manipulation of the pieces goes a long way towards making it all work d
own there. I am not left handed. I was sexually handicapped for three days. And also my nail polish chipped."Teagan Presley
"When we shot one of our first big movies for skinworXXX, we had a very big star hanging out on set who was on a temporary break as she had just had a baby. She was using a supplement called Alli to lose weight. It basically makes it so you can't digest some of the fat you intake. Well, a few hours into the day, and she had a giant orange oil slick on the back of her jeans as she had an accident sneak up on her. The whole thing was captured on the behind-the-scenes for the movie and lives on in infamy."
WARNING: THESE ARE EXTREMELY NOT SAFE FOR WORK LINKS
For everything you need to know about Fleshlights, you can go here: http://www.fleshlight.com/?link=1336874 To learn more about all of the Fleshlight girls, you can go here: http://www.fleshlight.com/fleshlight-girls/fleshlight-toys/?link=1336887
For more porn star interviews, check this out: An Adult Conversation With Stoya
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Adam Jones' Foul Ball Destroyed an ESPN Camera Sunday Night
You won't need to hire an expert lip reader to see what he had to say about it afterward.
Things got a little heated in the Baltimore Orioles' 5-2 win over the Toronto Blue Jays Monday night, as Blue Jays pitcher Marcus Stroman threw a fastball that just missed the head of Baltimore's Caleb Joseph. Luckily, there was no damage done to Joseph's dome.
However, the same can't be said for the "Mid-Home Robo Cam" belonging to ESPN that was perched behind home plate during Baltimore's 3-2 victory over the Yankees Sunday night.
With one out in the bottom of the fourth inning, Adam Jones gave the viewers at home a money shot when he fouled off a Hiroki Kuroda pitch and smashed the lens of the four-letter's camera. Thankfully, the rest of the camera survived long enough for the rest of us to see what it looks like when something like that happens:
We don't know what the camera ever did to Adam Jones, but Jones showed pretty much the exact opposite of remorse after breaking that thing.
Actually, this is probably what you call a money shot in baseball: Yankees Catcher Takes Foul Ball to the Junk
Things got a little heated in the Baltimore Orioles' 5-2 win over the Toronto Blue Jays Monday night, as Blue Jays pitcher Marcus Stroman threw a fastball that just missed the head of Baltimore's Caleb Joseph. Luckily, there was no damage done to Joseph's dome.
However, the same can't be said for the "Mid-Home Robo Cam" belonging to ESPN that was perched behind home plate during Baltimore's 3-2 victory over the Yankees Sunday night.
With one out in the bottom of the fourth inning, Adam Jones gave the viewers at home a money shot when he fouled off a Hiroki Kuroda pitch and smashed the lens of the four-letter's camera. Thankfully, the rest of the camera survived long enough for the rest of us to see what it looks like when something like that happens:
We don't know what the camera ever did to Adam Jones, but Jones showed pretty much the exact opposite of remorse after breaking that thing.
Actually, this is probably what you call a money shot in baseball: Yankees Catcher Takes Foul Ball to the Junk
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