The 20 Most Absurd April Fools' Day Jokes to Hit the Internet

April 1, 2015, 3:49 am

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From funny to just plain mean, every year the Internet is ripe with pranks and hoaxes that attempt to confuse the masses on one glorious day. That day, of course, is April 1st (today!), so it's time to brush up on some of the best and most ridiculous gags from the past several years. After all, everyone loves a good practical joke...just as long as you're not the one to fall for it. Get familiar with this list and you'll surely be able to spot this year's bag of tricks from a mile away.

Groupon Acquires April Fools' Day

You'll probably see many claims this year that a certain website has "owned" April Fools' Day with a great prank. Well, in 2011, Groupon took things a step further by announcing that they'd actually purchased the April Fools' Day intellectual trademark and were working on "...swift, but hostile, legal actions against any nonlicensed April Fools' Day[TM] joke." Their claim proved to be false (obviously), but no less funny because of it.


Google Translate for Animals

We're not actually sure why this hasn't been invented yet, but we assure you it hasn't. Despite the claims in this Google UK video from 2010, there is no such thing as an animal translator. Someday we'll understand what our dogs are trying to tell us when they hold their empty food dish in their mouths and start whimpering. Someday.


Yelp Puppy Rental

Speaking of man's best friend, some April Fools jokes are actually pretty brilliant. A Yelp deal offering a puppy rental service which switches out your puppy for a new one every month to prevent you from ever owning anything but a adorable, young puppy for just $425 a year? We don't care if it does sound like of a "Nathan for You" segment, sign us the f*ck up!


Living Social Alternative Meat Treatment Spa

You had us at "gravy massage," Spa-Lami. Wait a sec, that sounds terrible and completely made-up. But at only $25 dollars on Living Social back in 2011, how could we say no?


Kodak Photo Tattoos

Perhaps if you were desperate to get a tattoo but afraid of needles, Kodak would have fooled you in 2011 by offering up pain-free, permanent photo tattoos. How would that even work? See, that's when it hits you: you're an idiot.


Shakeless Tic Tac

1997 "Seinfeld" gag regarding Tic Tac, meet 2014 Tic Tac gag regarding "Seinfeld."


Domino's Edibox

An edible Domino's pizza? Get the hell outta here! Oh, wait, an edible Domino's pizza box. Now you might be onto somethi- aaand of course it's fake.


Shower Patch Kids Body Wash

The Sour Patch Kids are a mischievous bunch as is, so imagine what happened when they released their own line of edible body wash on April Fools' Day 2013 (Hint: nothing, because it was clearly a joke).


Redbox Lunch Meat

Edible pizza boxes and shower gel still beat DVD-shaped cold cuts from a Redbox, amiright?


The Hotelicopter

In 2009, people were fooled into believing that an old Soviet-made Mil V-12 had been converted into a flying hotel. The supposed five-star aircraft was said to contain 18 soundproof rooms complete with all the amenities, plus room service one hour after liftoff and prior to landing. We can only imagine checking out was frightening as all hell.


Virgin Media Ferret-Powered Wi-Fi

Anyone living in a remote area with limited internet access probably got pretty excited when they saw this April 1st, 2010 Telegraph article. However, once "tunneling ferrets" really sinks in, you know you've been duped.


Apple Pad-Dock

Like many of the pranks on this list, Apple's announcement of the Pad-Dock in 2010 seemed believable, yet a little too good to be true. Always err on the side of skepticism when it comes to April Fools' Day, because of course a device which converts your iPhone into an iPad doesn't exist. Just think of the money it would lose, and most false technological advancements are easily distinguishable as put-ons.


Ben & Jerry's Virtual Ice Cream

Pranks such as this one are ever duplicated, but never get old. Ben & Jerry's introduced virtual ice cream back in 2010, allowing website visitors to test flavors by simply licking their computer screens. They may be total sickos for tricking people into frenching their filthy computers monitors, but we'll be damned if the prospect still didn't sound too delicious to pass up.


New Starbucks Sizes

Starbucks, you may have reeled us in with your false announcement of the new size Plenta (128 oz.) back in 2010, but you gave yourself away with the addition of the Micra (2 oz). No self-respecting American wants less of anything, especially coffee.


Qualcomm's Killer Butterfly Problem

Nothing like a fake press conference to make even the dumbest idea seem believable. In 2010, wireless telecommunications company Qualcomm released this video depicting the fallout of several savage butterfly attacks taking place as a result of stolen prototypes of their mirasol display devices.


Fresh Step Bacon Kitty Litter

Bacon-scented kitty litter, anyone? Fresh Step offered it back in 2012, and we still get a horrible taste in our mouths thinking about it. Take a minute, go throw up, then come back and finish this list out.


Other Pet Luxury Items

From eyeglasses for dogs in 2012 to headphones for cats in 2013, there are always going to products cropping up for people who are WAAAY too into their pets. Be on the lookout.


The YouTube Collection on DVD

As far as obviously fake YouTube videos go, this one offering the complete YouTube Collection on DVD takes the prize for one of the funniest of 2012. It's so hilariously absurd that you won't even care that you wasted nearly two and a half minutes watching it.


American Eagle Spray-On Jeans

Maybe we would have fallen for AE's spray-on skinny jeans in 2013 if they'd chosen a better model.


It's the End of the World, and BBC Knows It

A bit on the nose, perhaps, but in 2012, BBC News reported that the Earth had exploded and wiped us all out. We've apparently been living out our horrible nonexistences in this hellhole ever since.

Good luck in 2015, everybody. Stay sharp. Future generations are counting on us not being the most gullible saps imaginable for at least one day a year. April Fools! It really doesn't matter. All future generations are screwed anyways. Didn't you read? We're already dead.

 

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13 Guys Share the Moment They Realized They Were Dating a Crazy Person

April 1, 2015, 5:50 am

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There's always one defining moment in a relationship. It's either the moment you realize you could be with them forever, the moment you realize it's just not going to work, or the moment you realize you're dating a crazy person and you're probably going to have to start a new life. Sometimes you even have all three of those! I was talking with a few of my friends and asked them to share that one moment when they realized the woman they were dating might actually be insane. Let our sorrow and misery be your entertainment. Enjoy!

 

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Here's a Physics Teacher Getting Hit in the Nuts With an Axe

April 1, 2015, 6:48 am

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The good news, especially for him, is that he got hit with the dull side.

Some websites are reporting that a physics teacher accidentally hit one of his students in the groin with an ax in a recent science experiment gone awry. Others are saying the teacher is the poor fool lying on the ground, holding a cinder block against his chest just seconds away from being permanently impotent.

Either way, I'm glad I'm not him today.


Our guess is that the teacher is the one lying on the ground, and the guy swinging the ax is either another teacher at the school or a teacher's assistant who may or may not have been on the undercard at UFC 184.

In a related story, this high school is probably looking for a new physics teacher today. Whether or not it's because this guy was fired or because he'll be icing his balls for the next six months is unknown.

Here are two teachers who put the "stud" in student: Two Female Louisiana English Teachers Arrested for Having Threesome With Student

 

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Watch These Three Attractive Women Lip Sync Hit Songs In Their Car

April 1, 2015, 7:38 am

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Last time we checked in with the ladies of SketchSHE, they were lip syncing their way through the epic Queen classic, "Bohemian Rhapsody." Well, the beautiful Australian sketch trio is back and this time they've stepped up their game quite a bit. Instead of one song, they're lip syncing their way through some of history's most recognizable tunes. And instead of one outfit, they're dressing apropos to each song they happen to be performing at any given time. Those outfits they wear during the Gotye song almost make the song bearable to listen to. ALMOST.

For those of you who are too impatient to sit through and find out which songs they do, here's the list in order of performed:

1. "Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy" - The Andrews Sisters
2. "Hound Dog" - Elvis Presley
3. "Help!" - The Beatles
4. "We Will Rock You" - Queen
5. "Beat It" - Michael Jackson
6. "I Wanna Dance with Somebody (Who Loves Me)" - Whitney Houston
7. "Smells Like Teen Spirit" - Nirvana
8. "The Next Episode" - Dr. Dre
9. "...Baby One More Time" - Britney Spears
10. "The Real Slim Shady" - Eminem
11. "Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It)" - Beyoncé
12. "Somebody That I Used to Know" - Gotye
13. "Thrift Shop" - Macklemore & Ryan Lewis
14. "Wrecking Ball" - Miley Cyrus

 

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Horse Jockey Somehow Walks Away Unharmed After Brutal Fall

April 1, 2015, 7:53 am

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Lewis Ferguson learned the hard way that trying to bail off your horse just as it's about to jump over a fence is almost as bad of an idea as hanging out with Bill Cosby in his dressing room.

According to The Guardian, the 18-year-old horse jockey was competing in just his fifth professional race Wednesday afternoon at the John Dufosee Memorial Open Hunters' Classic at Wincanton Racecourse, but he didn't seem as thrilled about jumping over one last fence as his horse did.

Ferguson was riding the 4/7 favorite Merrion Square, and the pair was leading as they approached the final fence in the race. We're not sure what spooked Ferguson, but it looked as though he tried to bail just before the jump.

That wasn't a good idea.


We're uncertain how the rules of horse racing work once the jockey gets wrecked by a fence, but it looks as though Merrion Square still managed to finish third, and that might have saved our $12 trifecta box.

Jockeys are tougher than you think. Especially when they're on some kind of bath salts: Pennsylvania Horse Jockey Shot After Masturbating on Woman's Porch

 

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Saudi Man's Wife Jams Stiletto Heel Into His Head During Fight

April 1, 2015, 8:22 am

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By the looks of things, we'll venture a guess that his wife could play in the WNBA. I mean, that is a huge foot.

According to The Express Tribune, a Saudi man was recently hospitalized after his wife stabbed him with the stiletto heel from one of her extremely sexy shoes during a dispute.

Warning: It's a little nasty.


Doctors said this was the first time they had ever seen something like this, but it doesn't sound like any of them are too worried about it.

We're not sure what the argument was over, but it's safe to say that the man's wife probably overreacted. And if the guy wasn't thrilled about being bald before getting a high-heeled shoe lodged in his dome, odds are he'll be even more self-conscious about it now.

A woman in New York hit a guy on the subway with her high heels, but he wasn't having any of it: NYC Subway Fight Erupts After Woman Hits Guy With Her High Heels and He Slaps Her (VIDEO)

Also, check this out:
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Today's Funny Photos

April 2, 2015, 12:23 am

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This is the Best Doctor's Note Ever

April 2, 2015, 1:07 am

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We're all adults here, right? And as adults, we're all entitled to a sick day or two. But apparently, some companies out there feel like it's a better policy to treat their employees like children and require a doctor's note if they call in sick. It seems pretty ridiculous, and this frustrated doctor agrees. (h/t Reddit)

 

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The 5 Best and Worst Comedy Series Finales of the Past 10 Years

April 2, 2015, 1:30 am

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It would be easy to make a list of the best comedy series finales of all time, but where's the fun in that? After all, we'd have to spend half the time subjecting the reader to the same old b.s. about how iconic the "M*A*S*H" and "Mary Tyler Moore" endings were. Those shows have had plenty of time to receive their accolades already, so why not keep things fresh? We've decided to shift focus onto the past 10 years specifically so shows will still be relatively topical. Oh, and we'll be rattling off the 5 worst finales as well, since you can't have winners without a few losers.

Note: This write-up is obviously **SPOILER HEAVY**. Consider yourself warned.

BEST SERIES FINALES

"Parks and Recreation" (Final Episode: February 24, 2015)

Sweet, poignant and as consistently funny as the show had been throughout its run, the "Parks and Recreation" series finale is what you might consider the new gold standard. We can only hope that comedies to come will strive to emulate such a perfect ending as "One Last Ride." The time jumps to all the main characters' futures were surprisingly satisfying to say the least, but we can't help thinking they wouldn't have pulled that off nearly as well had the final season not jumped ahead in time, as well, bracing us for such a jarring leap forward in the end. Anyone who believes that time travel is tricky to write and should be avoided at all costs needs to watch this episode and choke on their foolish words.

"Futurama" (Final Episode: September 4, 2013)

Speaking of time travel, for a show with a premise so heavily tied to it, you knew it would play a major factor in the last episode (unless "Futurama" is brought back from the dead ... again). Of course, we don't think anyone expected "Meanwhile" to go out on quite the high note it did. The series had slipped somewhat in quality after its shift from FOX to Comedy Central, but it would always manage to surprise you every now and then with not just a good episode, but a great one. You could definitely chalk the finale up to the latter, as we got to see Fry and Leela grow old together with the world completely frozen around them. Even though their "will they/won't they" relationship had been dragged out way too long over the years, the finale made up for all of that, even ending in such a way that it perfectly looped back into the pilot episode.

"Scrubs" (Final Episode: May 6, 2009)

We may have just inadvertently cracked the code for a great finale. It seems the key is to simply flash forward in time and show the main characters living happy lives. Sure, the ending of "My Finale" is actually more of a hypothetical future than an actual time jump, but it hits all the same feels. Overly sappy? Sure, but a show like "Scrubs" could have only ended in such a way. Plus, right before the final moments, a slew of old familiar faces from the series came back to say their goodbyes, and there's nothing that gives a finale more of a sense of closure than that.

Wait, what? They kept the show going for another season after this? Well, we're just going to consider that portion a spin-off (which it basically was). Besides, there's no way in hell we're rewriting this.

"Wilfred" (Final Episode: August 13, 2014)

The "Wilfred" finale was essentially a two-parter, with the first part "Resistance" dealing with the death of the beloved dog Wilfred, and "Happiness" handling what that death actually means for Ryan (Elijah Wood). We know a lot of people skipped over this show due to the premise of a man seeing a dog as a human sounding extremely confusing, but in the end it was all pretty simple. The magic of the show may have initially been its "Is this guy crazy?" premise, but by the end, all you really just wanted to know was if Wilfred had been a good or bad influence. The fact that he had (in stark contrast to the original UK series ending) is what made the final episode so rewarding. Sure, Ryan was in fact crazy, but it was in accepting that his condition had actually helped him become more well-adjusted that he was finally on his way to true happiness.

"The Life & Times of Tim" (Final Episode: February 17, 2012)

If hardly anyone watched "Wilfred," then by comparison, no one watched "The Life & Times of Tim." It's a damn shame, too, because not only was it one of the funniest shows on TV, but it ended in the most painfully hilarious way possible. There's a wrong way to send off your series with a main character being crushed to death (see our next entry) and there's also a completely fitting way. This final installment titled "Corporate Disaster" featured everything that made the show great. Tim, unlucky as ever, gets himself in way over his head, does what he thinks he's supposed to, and it all go completely haywire. Only this time, since it was the finale, he actually caught a break and was sent on a company-funded vacation to lay low. On his way out the door, however, the giant "O" from the building fell on top of him, leaving Tim screwed for eternity by the company that always treated him like dirt.

WORST SERIES FINALES

"Two and a Half Men" (Final Episode: February 19, 2015)

Now to shift to the really fun stuff: ripping on terrible finales. "Two and a Half Men" is the second most recent finale on this list, but it has already cemented itself as one of the worst of all time. Hey, Chuck Lorre, we get it, you and Charlie Sheen don't get along. We don't feel like that's even a remotely decent excuse to let your feud overshadow the show itself, though. Sadly, that's precisely what the series finale "Of Course He's Dead" did by having it end with Sheen's old character Charlie Harper (a body double, as he was already killed off four years prior) smashed to death by a piano as he made his seemingly triumphant return. Then Lorre topped it all off with a smug pan out to reveal him sitting there watching, tossing out a quick "Winning" before being smashed by a piano himself. Hooray, you clearly don't even give a f**k anymore. Now we can all go back to pretending this show doesn't exist, because at least now it finally doesn't.

"How I Met Your Mother" (Final Episode: March 31, 2014)

While we're on the subject of smacking longtime fans in the face, "How I Met Your Mother" did just that in its series finale "Last Forever" by having the mother that Ted had been yammering on about for far too long pass away. That's right, in the final episode of a show whose very title suggests its the story of a young man's journey to meet the woman of his dreams, she is casually blown off in the last minutes by even her own children in favor of Ted simply moving on from her death and getting together with his friend Robin. He promptly does so, it is predictably cheesy (blue French horn), and fans are left to ponder why they've spent the last nine years watching it. Roll credits.

"That '70s Show" (Final Episode: May 18, 2006)

The entirety of the eighth and final season of "That '70s Show" was pretty much a train wreck, having lost lead character Eric Foreman (Topher Grace) at the end of the previous season and Michael Kelso (Ashton Kutcher) four episodes into this one. That said, you'd think having them both return in the series finale "Love of My Life" would have made up for that, especially when Eric and Donna seemed to get back together in the zero hour and Kelso was immediately back to his old shenanigans. But something about the whole thing felt very rushed, especially when you consider the time spent building to Eric coming home compared to the less than five minutes of actual screen time he's given at the very end. Plus, call us snobs if you must, but you shouldn't treat a finale like a clip show. Most of the second half of this last episode is just rehashed jokes and gags from the series, and if we wanted that, we could just rewatch the show. All this finale accomplishes is proving that the series should have ended a season earlier when it was still a show that we loved.

"My Name Is Earl" (Final Episode: May 14, 2009)

The series "My Name Is Earl" wound up becoming the "ALF" of its time. Not that the premises are at all alike, but both met similar fates by ending on frustrating cliffhangers. That's because between seasons, even though creator Greg Garcia had gotten the OK to do so, the show was cancelled and never given a season five to resolve not only who the father of Joy's children was, but to finish the overarching story of Earl's karma list. So in a strange twist, "Dodge's Dad" makes it on our list of worst comedy series finale episodes not because it was bad or unfunny (it's actually one of its funnier installments, with Norm Macdonald killing it once again as slimeball Little Chubby), but because we actually wanted more and will never get it. Yes, Garcia did divulge the details of how these questions may have been answered in his Reddit AMA, but not getting to see it play out in physical form is quite the disappointment indeed.

"Entourage" (Final Episode: September 11, 2011)
Remember what we said earlier about the key to all great endings being to leave your characters with happy futures? Well, thanks a lot, "Entourage," you really shot that theory in the foot. Of course, there are reasons why the overly sappy send-off didn't work here. Namely, much like "That '70s Show," the whole thing was incredibly rushed. Like, "Vince marries a woman who hated his guts one episode prior," rushed. "Entourage" was always a show on the cusp of being painfully tacky, but its last episode took that to the extreme, even forcing a post-credits sequence down our throats prepping us for a feature film that no one was asking for by this point. Not to mention the movie looks like complete trash and will hopefully bomb at the box office as much as this series finale did. But enough of our thoughts. What do you think are the best and worst comedy finales of the past 10 years? Let us know in the comments section below.

 

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Ranking the Marvel Cinematic Universe Films (So Far)

April 2, 2015, 1:50 am

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"Avengers: Age of Ultron" is right around the corner, with the sequel to 2012's highest-grossing film hitting theaters on May 1st. That got us thinking about all of the previous films in the fairly new Marvel Cinematic Universe and how they stack up against each other. Which do we consider the best? How about the worst? To answer these questions, it really boils down to three basic factors: how important the film is to the overall world Marvel is constructing, faithfulness to the source material (for all of us nerds out there), and the quality of the film by itself. Criteria set. Enough yakking; let's get cracking.

#10 - "Thor" (2011)

As a whole, "Thor" had virtually nothing to do with the overarching storyline of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. It introduced us to Thor and Loki, but other than that, it's pretty useless. That's OK, though, as it was only the third film in the MCU, which was still a pretty experimental concept at the time of its release. The best thing this movie had going for it were the visuals in Asgard, which were vastly expanded on in the sequel anyways. As far as lead characters go and the movie as a whole, that too was pretty bland. Chris Hemsworth hadn't nearly come into his own with the character yet, and Natalie Portman seemed like she was playing Jane Foster for the paycheck and nothing more. In the end, you could have skipped this movie entirely and not missed a beat as far as the big picture goes, and for that it secures its place at the bottom of our list.

#9 - "Captain America: The First Avenger" (2011)

"Captain America: The First Avenger" is almost painfully cheesy at times, but we ultimately chalk that up to the direction of Joe Johnston, whose past works include films such as "The Rocketeer," "Jumanji" and "Jurassic Park III." Basically, had it been directed by someone with a bit more experience in modern action films, it may have produced a better final product. Who's to say? After all, Marvel was probably looking to give the movie a more classic feel anyways considering the era it takes place in. All that aside, this film had one main thing going for it to keep if from scraping the bottom of the MCU barrel: setup. The ending of this movie more or less sets up the groundwork for "The Avengers," and on that alone, it couldn't be in last place. It just barely squeaks past it, though.

#8 - "Iron Man 2" (2010)

There are a lot of people out there with a strong distaste for "Iron Man 2." While it's not without its charms, it's fairly easy to see why. After all, you saw most of the action from this film in the trailers, and even that wasn't anything mind-blowing. Plus, much like "Thor," this sequel had very little to do with the story Marvel was (at the time) slowly building towards, and that can be a bit frustrating when you consider that everyone knew by this point that that was the big plan. However, it never strayed far from major comic book storylines or really rocked the boat in any way at all, so it was hard to knock it for anything besides being a little dull. Oh, and you could probably have gone without seeing this one, as well, and not missed much more than the fairly basic introduction of Black Widow and slightly more screen time for Nick Fury than before.

#7 - "The Incredible Hulk" (2008)

This movie is virtually useless to the entire MCU considering Edward Norton wound up being fired as Bruce Banner and the entire post credits sequence involving Tony Stark putting together the Avengers ultimately made no sense, but as a standalone film it is still much better than the previous entries. Plus, considering most of us were left with a very bad taste in our mouths after the disaster that was Ang Lee's "Hulk" in 2003, anything but complete trash was going to come out looking like a masterpiece. This movie could hardly be considered that, especially when compared to the Marvel films of late and their production value and scope, but we have to simply chalk that up to being a product of an early Marvel film, not to mention having to follow up the massively successful "Iron Man." Even with all that stacked against it, it's still plenty enjoyable.

#6 - "Iron Man 3" (2013)

While many will argue that this film should be much higher on the list, it fails in a major way when it comes to one of our three main criteria. Whether you loved or hated the big Mandarin twist near the mid-point of the film, it still very much went against not just the source material, but everything the "Iron Man" films had been building towards for the past five years. Even though your average moviegoer likely didn't care that **SPOILER ALERT** the Mandarin, one of Iron Man's biggest rivals from the comics, wound up being a huge phony, it was a gut-punch to even the casual Iron Man fan. You can get an A+ in two categories, but if you completely bomb the third, you still come out barely passing. For a movie with such potential and the biggest box office gross of all three "Iron Man" films, it's a shame that's how things had to turn out.

#5 - "Thor: The Dark World" (2013)

The second biggest leap on this list from original to sequel, "Thor: The Dark World" improved on its predecessor in just about every way possible. It was tense, it was fun, it was dramatic, it was sad and it did all this without the corniness of the original. Sure, it also had the added benefit of co-starring Loki, who at this point had become one of the MCU's most charismatic characters, but he alone didn't make the film or it wouldn't be ranked as high as it is. Its only real downfall is that it again didn't tie into the larger universe in any major way, but since you cared so much more about these characters now and the actors were finally firing on all cylinders, the entire experience was so much more invigorating. Even Natalie Portman seemed like she was trying this time around.

#4 - "Iron Man" (2008)

Considering that your average person knew very little about the character of Tony Stark/Iron Man when this film was released, it was nothing short of a miracle that it resonated the way it did with audiences around the world. When you stop and think about it, had this movie tanked, the entire MCU would likely not be the powerhouse it is today. Remaining faithful to the comics didn't matter much in this case, as it was the very first official MCU film and, ultimately, asses in the seats were much more important. Luckily, Marvel took a gamble on Robert Downey, Jr. and it paid off in just about the biggest possible way a gamble can -- with the jackpot. There may never be an actor better suited for a specific role, and because of that, this movie works in every conceivable way, making it possibly the first truly great film on this list. And it only gets better from here.

#3 - "Guardians of the Galaxy" (2014)

Besides the previous entry, "Guardians of the Galaxy" is easily the second riskiest movie Marvel ever produced. Starring an entirely new set of characters that even most die-hard comic nerds didn't know much about, this was essentially "Iron Man" in space in terms starting fresh. Only this time, the studio was already well-established and could afford to bomb if it just so happened to shake out that way. Fortunately, it didn't, and we were instead treated to the most entertaining outer space action/adventure flick since the original "Star Wars" films. On top of that, it painted a much clearer picture of the cosmic side of the MCU than we've seen before, and the road ahead looks brighter than ever because of its massive success not just as an addition to the current roster, but an all-around film.

#2 - "The Avengers" (2012)

Don't hate us because we don't consider "The Avengers" to be the best film in the MCU. We assure you that the decision wasn't made lightly or to simply push people's buttons. In fact, it was easily the toughest decision of this entire list. We have no doubt that once May 1st rolls around, there will be a new heir to the thrown anyways, but for now, hear us out. This movie is virtually flawless, with Joss Whedon being one of the greatest screenwriters of all time, but it's still the first in a new series of films. Specifically referring to Marvel movies (with the exception of "Iron Man"), they tend to only get better from there. Having said that, there is one particular Marvel sequel that did just that, knocking this film out of first place by just a hair. Directors are always going to learn from previous works, and even though "The Avengers" was brilliantly made, we can tell those behind the next film studied it well, even managing to improved upon it somehow.

#1 - "Captain America: The Winter Soldier" (2014)

While we're not exactly stoked that "Avengers: Infinity War, Parts I & II" won't be directed by Joss Whedon, thanks to our number one entry, we know the franchise couldn't be in better hands now that the Russo Brothers have officially taken over the reigns. As we said, we feel like these brothers took everything that made "The Avengers" great and made it better in "Captain America: The Winter Soldier." We can say the same for the source material, as we studied it extensively prior to the film's release. At the end of the day, we feel like this film juggled just as many characters as "The Avengers" did, only half of them were new to the audience. When you can pull that off and still make the people watching genuinely care about each and every one of them in the span of just over two hours, you deserve to go out on top.

 

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The Funniest GIFs of the Week

April 2, 2015, 3:50 am

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If Jimmy McGill From 'Better Call Saul' Had A LinkedIn Profile

April 2, 2015, 5:50 am

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Like just about everyone else, we've been enjoying "Better Call Saul" immensely over here. So it was only a matter of time before we gave good ol' Slippin Jimmy himself the LinkedIn profile treatment. Here's what we imagine pre-Saul and company would look like on the social network for professionals.

**POTENTIAL SPOILERS if you aren't all caught up**

 

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This Smooth Kid Gets Further With Nicki Minaj Than Any of Us Ever Will

April 2, 2015, 6:27 am

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Last night on her Instagram page, Nicki Minaj posted a clip from her recent Pink Print Tour that is sure to put a smile on your face almost as big as the lucky kid in the video. Take a look:

A video posted by Nicki Minaj (@nickiminaj) on Apr 1, 2015 at 4:24pm PDT

The clip of this sly little devil comes from Minaj's show in Belfast. Somehow he was able to get on stage with her, and after putting on the water works and acting overcome with emotion, Minaj buried his face in her cleavage. This resulted in one of the greatest faces ever, and according to Minaj, it's all just part of the power of her breasts. Here's what she had to say:

Look at how he stopped crying wen (sic) he laid his head on dem thangz. They have real power beaming out of them that can cure the sick.

We believe you, Nicki. And so does little Donny.

 

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Lisa Ann is Releasing One Final Video

April 2, 2015, 8:50 am

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It looks as though Lisa Ann is having almost as much trouble with this whole retirement thing as Brett Favre did.



According to BroBible, the world's most popular MILF just released another video with Brazzers titled "Lisa's Big Secret," and it's apparently a big hit with her fans.

Well all of my hard work "Pre-Retirement" is really paying off.. I see you are happy with the new scene just released on @Brazzers

- Lisa Ann (@thereallisaann) April 2, 2015

That big secret? You guessed it: Every time her husband heads off to work, she calls over her "big" boyfriend Isiah for a plow sesh. Unfortunately, this doesn't mean that she's jumping back in front of the camera, guys. This one came from her pre-recorded stash.

I knew you would want some new scenes even when I was gone, So I planned a head for you all.. That was the last scene for @Brazzers

- Lisa Ann (@thereallisaann) April 2, 2015

But don't worry, as there's even more good news. It looks like Pornhub's number one girl did quite a bit of "Pre-Retirement" recording.

So yeah, that is the last NEW scene anyone else has on me... EXCEPT Me.. I have a nice little stash of new releases for you..

- Lisa Ann (@thereallisaann) April 2, 2015

So, we have that going for us. Which is nice.

Lisa Ann is the best: College Student Attends AVN Awards With Porn Star Lisa Ann Thanks to Sign Held Up on ESPN

 

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Hooters Hottie Caitlin Arnett Isn't a Big Star...Yet

April 2, 2015, 4:40 pm

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'Modern Family' Star Sarah Hyland Kicks It Up a Notch

April 2, 2015, 8:35 pm

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Today's Funny Photos

April 2, 2015, 11:22 pm

≫ Next: 8 Things We'd Love to See in the 'Better Call Saul' Season Finale

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It's Friday and that means you'd like to do as little work as possible. So would we. So we're gonna stop writing so you can stop reading and simply enjoy what the funniest photos of the day have to offer.





Click here for more funny photos.














Click here for more funny photos.

 

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8 Things We'd Love to See in the 'Better Call Saul' Season Finale

April 3, 2015, 12:41 am

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Vince Gilligan's AMC spin-off prequel might go down as one of the best spin-offs in TV history. Watching the first season of a young James McGill finding his footing as a tough-luck lawyer before his inevitable transformation into the clever, crook-friendly Saul Goodman has been a progressively interesting adventure. However, there are still a few things we'd like to see before the first "Better Call Saul" finale is over.

The beginning of the transformation from James McGill into Saul Goodman.

We saw some of Jimmy's frustration after losing a wealthy client (the Kettlemans) and a prospective partner (Kim Wexler) to his good conscience, but eventually the continuous beat-down will lead to a specific moment we've all been waiting for: the birth of Saul Goodman. The name itself has been teased during Slippin' Jimmy's early scam days, but we're guessing the current James McGill will take matters into his own hands and accept that he was born to represent the guiltiest of parties as one clever, loophole licking Saul Goodman. Something tells us it'll involve his brother Chuck's recent betrayal, and a realization that he's not meant to be the typical lawyer. It won't just be a change of name; it'll be a change of work ethic. (Photo credit: AMC)

Tuco's associate, Nacho, returning again to form an alliance.

After warning the Kettlemans of Nacho wanting to steal their money, which landed Nacho in jail, Jimmy thought he might be off the hook by helping him out later. Something tells us that's not the last Jimmy has seen of young Nacho and his big boss man, Tuco, though. They don't exactly have a reputation for letting screw-ups slide, but instead of coming back for revenge, expect there to be an alliance. We saw Nacho resurface in episode nine to buy pills off some nerd (with Mike as his protection), so don't be surprised if Mike, Jimmy and Nacho all coalesce together at the end of the season for one crooked union. (Photo credit: AMC)

Jimmy hooking up with his lady lawyer friend, Kim Wexler.

James McGill might not be the most attractive lawyer in the southwest with his comb over, junker car and office in the back of a nail salon. But, Jimmy has a heart of gold and a bit of lingering integrity, which sooner or later will win over the heart and pants of his hopeful partner in law, Kim Wexler, played the very sexy Rhea Seehorn. In episode eight, we see her plant a wet one on Jimmy when he passes the bar, which hints that perhaps they do have some history. It's only a matter of time before he gets out of the friend zone and she becomes the story's love interest. But the more he becomes Saul Goodman, the further away she'll go before the days of dirty lawyering. Right now she's his closest friend, but remember, she's not in "Breaking Bad." (Photo credit: AMC)

Chuck getting abducted by aliens.

There's no competition for weirdest character to Chuck (played by Michael McKean), and his recent betrayal leaves him stranded alone in his own home. So what happens to the Judas of the Southwest? Will he be abducted by aliens? Does he truly have an electromagnetic allergy? Is this maybe all one big scam? Is Hamlin to blame in some way? Everybody seems to think Chuck is crazy and couldn't possibly be sick, but when things go array (or he's abducted by aliens), then they'll change their minds. (Photo Credit: Ben Leuner/AMC)

Mike and Jimmy finally teaming up for good.

We got a glimpse of Mike working with Jimmy, breaking into the Kettleman's house and stealing their bag full of cash as a means to pay off his lawyer fees, but when will Mike find himself best in the company of one future Saul Goodman? Right now we're seeing Mike build a relationship with his granddaughter, which we know will always be important to him. So, will Mike owe Saul for saving his hide after avenging his son's death? Will his daughter-in-law rat him out? The meet between Mike and Nacho will likely lead to further employment for Mike, so don't be surprised if he drags a newly reformed Saul into the picture. Like the transformation into Saul, it will be just as exciting to see Mike's transition into his right-hand man, as well. (Photo Credit: Ben Leuner/AMC)

More characters from the "Breaking Bad" world enter.

It was right when Tuco Salamanca showed up at the end of the pilot that viewers realized just what they were watching. The excitement of jumping back into Vince Gilligan's southwestern meth story, now from the legal perspective, summons the opportunity for its creator to bring back small time characters like Tuco easily without upsetting the "Breaking Bad" legacy. Especially since most of these characters are dead, they would be great to see again and get more on their story before things went south. Characters like Crazy 8, Hank Schrader, Skinny Pete and Badger or Hector Salamanca perhaps at Jimmy's next volunteer Bingo night at the old folks' home. Pretty much anyone but Skylar. Who would you like to see come back? (Photo credit: AMC)

A teaser of Pinkman and his red "Cap'n Cook" Monte Carlo.

Even the biggest "Breaking Bad" stars have voiced their humble interest in being a part of Saul Goodman's story. We don't want Vince Gilligan to blow his wad too soon with these guys, however, but little Easter eggs and foreshadowing teasers will be a riot for "Breaking Bad" fans, and no one knows how to plant a seed for future blossoming like Gilligan. Thinking back to the early days of Jesse Pinkman and some of his trademarks, the red Monte Carlo with hydraulics and ridiculous sound system stands out as a great teaser that would be applicable to this season. Or if he shows up with a bag full of cash looking for a newly reformed Saul Goodman's help, that would be a great way to excite people about the already green-lit second season. (Photo credit: AMC)

Saul getting his car washed at the car wash Walt worked at as a lowly employee.

Lawyer me this: What would be cooler than a young, broke James McGill flipping his moral high ground to support the lowly scumbags (as well as flip his name), and the season ended with the bright potential of a newly made Saul Goodman with a brand new car, which he gets washed at Walt's old car wash before the days of Heisenberg? Walter White cleaning Saul's wheel wells? There could be no better way to end an already strong first season. Most likely, this would be a better way to end the series, but with Gilligan you never know anything for certain. (Photo credit: Ursula Coyote/AMC)

 

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Warning: Don't Feed The Deer!

April 3, 2015, 12:51 am

≫ Next: 12 Songs You Hate That Still Get Stuck in Your Head

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"Oh, hey look. A cute little deer. I'll just give it a little treat and tell all of my friends about how I fed a real life Bambi. They're gonna be so impressed and probably a little bit jealous. I mean, how often do you get to feed a freakin' wild deer? Oh, look he has a few friends. That's adorable. I'll just give them some food too. What's the harm? What the---HOLY HELL. SWEET JESUS NO!!!"

 

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12 Songs You Hate That Still Get Stuck in Your Head

April 3, 2015, 1:40 am

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There are plenty of songs in pop culture we could do without, but the ones that are so bad they get stuck in your skull for days, often tempting you to jab sharp objects in your ears, are rarities. These infectious songs we hate still keep showing up, though, don't they? So here are 12 of those tunes that you can listen to in a row right now. Just kidding, don't do it. Because really, they're awful (but contagiously fun!).

"Wild Thing" by Tone Loc

Better known to the acting world as Terrell Smith, the guy Jim Carrey talks to through his ass in "Ace Ventura," is the man also known as Tone Loc. It's his auto-toned voice behind the unmistakable 1989 hit "Wild Thing," a song we can't remember the lyrics to, only the beat with a constant repeat of the phrase "wild thing."

"Barbie Girl" by Aqua

Any song that starts with dialogue you know is going to be reluctantly stuck between your ears for at least a 12-hour period. The late 1997 hit was a one-hit wonder with the colorful video where Barbie isn't a flawless blonde, but a subpar brunette with bad tattoos, and Ken isn't a doll, but rather a Hispanic skinhead with some bad tattoo placement choices of his own. This was the beginning of the end of radio.

"Move Bitch" by Ludacris

Speaking of songs that won't go away, Luda is staying hot with old hits, even the ones that are going on two decades old. "Move Bitch" was released in 2002, and though it peaked at the number three spot on the Billboard charts, it still lingers to this day like a fart in a well-sealed minivan. Is it possible that rap, like rock 'n roll, will become classic rap someday? No. Is it weird for a grown man to play it alone in his room? Completely.

"All About that Bass" by Meghan Trainor

This freshly infectious tune is so far up everyone's ass, you can smell it on their breath. Released in 2014 on her debut EP "Title," Trainor's lead-off hit landed a Grammy nomination for Song of the Year, topping singles charts in 50 countries and pulling creatively from several genres. In addition, my mother won't quit sending me lyrics from the song. It isn't going away anytime soon.

"Baby Got Back" by Sir Mix-a-Lot

"Oh my God, Becky, look at her butt. It is so big." Well don't worry, we don't understand those rap guys either. Sir Mix-A-Lot mixed a little too much when he conceived this cheesy ass blaster of a song, an ode to big butts and the fellas who love them, using audio samples from a 1986 techno song and becoming the second best-selling song of 1992 behind Whitney Houston's. The only good thing that came out of this song was a "Friends" episode. Oh, and the Chili's baby back ribs jingle. I love that, and their ribs, too.

"Tubthumping" by Chumbawamba

Noteworthy in its originality and uniqueness to this day, the 1997 Brit pop single won people over the same way the "Macarana" did until, just the same, we got so goddamn sick of hearing it we could puke. Nothing was heard from this band again in the States, but they did land on Rolling Stone's list of "Most Annoying Songs," holding steady at number twelve.

"Never Gonna Give You Up" by Rick Astley

It's not that we hate this song as much as we love it so much we just want to listen to it alone in our bedrooms and dance, and the idea of listening to it with friends makes us awkwardly frustrated. The debut single from Astley's debut album "Whenever You Need Somebody" in 1987 became the ammo for a popular Internet prank called "rick rolling," something we still haven't recovered from.

"My Humps" by The Black Eyed Peas

Released in 2005, the song about the lovely curves along Fergie's body was the centerpiece of any dance floor, radio station and church choir that year. The Black Eyed Peas didn't rest on their laurels there though, releasing a swarm of infectiously awful music leading up to an atrocious halftime show at the 2011 Super Bowl. Nobody has heard much from them since, but the pain lingers on in our heads.

"MMMBop" by Hanson

In the first half of 1997 alone, the song "MMMBop" was played nearly eight million times on the radio worldwide, according to this incredibly reliable "SNL" I saw once. The debut hit from the three prepubescent boys spread like penis rash at Woodstock, and anytime you turned the radio on in the late '90s, there was a high percentage chance that you'd hear the bopping within a matter of songs, if not initially. Most of the lyrics aren't even real words!

"Call Me Maybe" by Carly Rae Jepsen

Thanks to Twitter, Justin Bieber and plenty of other things we despise, we've had the pleasure of Carly Rae Jepsen's "Call Me Maybe," along with its countless t-shirt renditions. Her 2011 song was the breakthrough hit she needed for notoriety, but like every other infectious song in the American pop culture, it's usually followed by crap, leaving another star to die in that big sky of dreams. (Also, I really, really, really, really, really, really don't like her latest single.)

"Mambo No. 5" by Lou Bega

Not the worst of the infectious songs, but Lou Bega might have gotten a little overplayed in the late '90s with his hit "Mambo No. 5," a 1999 remake of a 1949 instrumental classic by Perez Prado. Lou Bega isn't such a bad thing, like a German Santana, but that song will stick to your head like honey on a bee's taint.

"Gangnam Style" by Psy

Quite possibly the most annoying and contagious song in the world's songbook is the dance-inspiring "Gangnum Style" from Psy in 2012. It was bad enough until they did a mash-up with the "Ghostbusters" theme song. That was taking it too far. Will he be able to top this? Doubtful. Will he ever write anything of substance? Absolutely not. Will he appear sporadically performing the song live until the day he dies or his hips give out from its choreography? Likely.

 

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