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Mandatory

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    By the looks of things, 90 percent of the single ladies who attended a recent wedding and then made their way to the dance floor for the flower toss were either young girls or a five-year-old boy.

    And while having one of those young girls hold her baby sister during the toss probably seemed like a cute idea at the time, it damn near turned tragic because somebody forgot to tell her that she should in no way try to catch the bouquet because doing so would mean you'd have to drop the baby.



    h/t USA Today

    Thankfully, she landed on her feet. This bridesmaid? Not so much: Groomsman's Epic Entrance Fail Damn Near Knocked Out Bridesmaid

     

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  • 07/28/15--00:24: Today's Funny Photos
  • 0 0

    In 21st century America, douches are everywhere. A few of these are hardly original, however, simply because they are too accurate to leave out. If you have other examples we missed, please don't hesitate to sound off in the comments. We are always curious to hear about new forms of douchery rearing their ugly heads.

    I'll be honest. I'm guilty of one or two of these. Especially No. 14. But that doesn't mean not I'm working really hard on myself to correct this problem.

    You've said "Come at me, bro" before
    Living, Signs You're A Douchebag
    Saying "Come at me, bro" means you are at least a quarter douche. Popularized by Ronnie from the "Jersey Shore," this phrase is typically used to impress women and appear hard. (Flexing nuts is the holiest currency of the douchebag.)

    You call people "boss"
    Living, Signs You're A Douche
    I was waiting in line at Chipotle the other day and the burrito artist behind the counter called everyone boss. When it was my turn he said, "What can I get you, boss?" I stared at him for five seconds, spit in the fajitas, stole a Tabasco and left. I'm not the boss of anyone.

    You wear a flat-billed hat
    Funny, Signs You're A Douche
    The flatbill is popular among wannabe gangsters who live with their moms and listen to nu metal and hyphy. I'm not sure when it became fashionable, but I think it has something to do with the decline of Western civilization. Fred Durst is a big fan of the flatbill, and it is firmly believed that he started this asinine trend.

    You flip off the camera
    Funny, Signs You're A Douche
    We get it. You live with reckless abandon and you don't give a care. Super hardcore.

    You tell people you're going to be a millionaire by 30
    Funny, Signs You're A Douche
    Telling people you're going to be a millionaire usually stems from the fact that you've never actually been challenged in life. It's also a law of nature that those who wear tribal tats and adorn their rooms with "Entourage" posters don't make a lot of money. It's unearned confidence that will surely be shattered when you begin working at your father's firm under the title of "Assistant Receptionist Trainee."

    Bluetooth
    Funny, Signs You're A Douche
    Compounded by the fact that you talk loudly on it while boarding a plane.

    You watch MMA and feel very hard after
    Funny, Signs You're A Douche
    I've been to bars to watch MMA fights. After the event, there are usually gaggles of dudes in Tapout shirts visibly puffing out their chests and walking tall like they're the ones that just beat the shit out of someone. You're not Chael Sonnen. You're just an asshole.

    You wear a crucifix for no reason
    Funny, Signs You're A Douche
    It's a staple of the bro to wear a crucifix to give off some semblance of spirituality. Especially since he knows in reality there is an extreme void of it. There is nothing Christlike about bringing home a clap-riddled bimbo and telling her condoms aren't your thing because they "feel weird."

    You leave out Magnum condoms "by accident"
    Funny, Signs You're A Douchebag
    "Oh, my bad girl. I forgot to leave those in my wallet. Regular condoms don't fit me because I inject whey protein straight into my penis vein."

    You order bourbon
    Funny, Signs You're A Douche
    First off, there is nothing bad about liking bourbon. The issue is ordering one and taking a sip and pretending you like it. A douchebag will always cringe like he just sucked a lemon and say, "God that's good." You're not Ray Liotta. Order a Natty and be yourself.

    You wear this shirt
    Funny. Signs You're A Douche
    Your shirt may also say "Haters Make Me Famous" or "Believe The Hype."

    Facebook hashtags
    Funny, Signs You're A Douche
    #Swag #YOLO #Kony2012.

    You rock blonde cornrows
    Funny, SIgns You're A Douche
    "Orange is the New Black" is gaining popularity, and we should all be worried.

    Sometime in the mid 2000's white girls started doing this for some reason that escapes me. You look ridiculous. No offense to the Cornrow Community, this is merely a personal opinion.

    You send dick pics to girls you just met on Tinder
    Funny, Signs You're A Douche
    Let's be clear: There is nothing is wrong with sending a dick pic. I believe it is a primal urge every guy has. Something that has to do with presenting value. Lord knows the cloud is full of my very own.

    However, if you're desperate enough to send a dick pic to someone you haven't met in person - taking 20 minutes to perfect the cinematography in the process - you're likely an Affiction-wearing gym-grunting bag of douche.

    You still say, "I'm Rick James, bitch!"
    Funny, Signs You're A Douche
    Other favorites of the douche:

    "Is this the real Caesar's Palace?"

    "Milk was a bad choice."

    "I get older and they stay the same age."

    You also do bad impressions of Christopher Walken but likewise will never stop.

     

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    Fiancé Gets Caught Farting on DashCam



    A real relationship is one in which both parties can pass gas freely in front of each other. This particular relationship doesn't seem to be there yet. Please wait until the very end of the video, when the girlfriend sees her boyfriend walk fully away from the car. At this point, she thinks she's free to act as if she is all alone in the vehicle. Alas, the dashcam was still recording, and she was not. Now all that's left to find out is if they are still together. (And if that was a shart. It definitely sounded pretty juicy.)

     

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    It's summertime, and when the sun comes out, dudes get thirsty. But there's a difference between just being single for the summer and the men that populate this article. These dudes are so desperate for female companionship that they've gone to some seriously intense ends. Not content to just swipe right a dozen times like normal people, they've taken their Love Quests to the world in ways that we never predicted.


    Ren Lu You


    Thirsty dudes aren't necessarily complete failures. Ren Lu You is a young, good-looking Harvard Business School graduate who just hasn't managed to get hooked up with the perfect girl yet. So he's putting some cash on the line - $10,000 to be exact. The lonely economics major set up a website, dateren.com, and offered a bounty. If you introduce him to a girl that he goes out with for longer than six months, you take home the cash. Ten large is a pretty steep price to pay for true love, but so far Ren hasn't had to pay out a penny. (Photo credit: dateren.com)

    Eduardo Garcia

    There are so many ways to find a girl in the modern era. Old-school methods like going out to clubs, high-tech apps on your phone - it's not difficult to find a date. So you have to have an extreme thirst to try to get laid by calling 911 and hitting on the dispatcher. That's what Eduardo Garcia did while on a camping trip in Florida's Lake Griffin State Park. Garcia called the emergency number and when he got a female operator asked her if she was single and told her he had "big muscles." He called back multiple times, so police eventually headed out to his campsite and arrested him. Thirst doesn't pay. (Photo credit: 7Online)

    Paul Barry

    Modern romance is tough. Lonely student Paul Barry read about people finding dates on Tinder, but couldn't figure out how to get the app on his phone. So, desperate to get a girl in time for Valentine's Day, he took matters into his own hands. Standing out in front of an H&M store in Merseyside, Barry brandished a cardboard sign reading "Will Date Anyone" and a bouquet of roses. Needless to say, this pathetic display of public thirst didn't result in any action for the lonely guy, but friends did film his love quest for a documentary. (Photo credit: AOL)


    Romeo Rose

    With a name like Romeo Rose, you'd expect the guy to have a lock on the arts of romance. Unfortunately for him, that's not true at all. The long-haired Texas resident has become a bit of a local celebrity thanks to his "Sleepless In Austin" website, where he ran down his requirements for the woman of his dreams. She needs to be thin, White or Hispanic or European descent, and can't have had children because it "makes their vagina looser." Like several of the thirsty dudes on this list, he offered a cash bounty for interested matchmakers, but $1,500 wasn't enough to get anybody to take the plunge with Romeo. (Photo credit: Texas Monthly)

    Yossi Rosenberg

    When the New York Post describes you as "the city's most desperate single man," you know you done goofed. The Big Apple is full of lonely hearts looking to hook up, but Yossi Rosenberg - a vegetarian who once appeared on a reality show about dating fat women - has never had a serious girlfriend. So he expressed his fantastic thirst by paying hundreds of dollars to an outsourcing company to create videos to ask women out. He made fifty of the damn things and sent them out to a flabbergasting array of ladies, from elementary school crushes to girls from dating sites. Even after his efforts, Rosenberg is still single. (Photo credit: Youtube)

    Unnamed French Man

    The legal system in Europe is less open with the names of their defendants, so we'll probably never know the name of this thirsty Frenchie. But his legacy definitely earns him a spot on the list. When his girlfriend broke up with him after he did a bunch of work in the apartment they shared. He moved out, but felt like she should have been more grateful for the renovations. So, in an act of incredible stupidity, he went on to text her 21,807 times in the next ten months demanding that she say "thank you." He also started calling her as many as 73 times a day. A judge sentenced him to six months in jail for his efforts. (Photo credit: Joi Ito via Flickr CC)


    Gordon Engle

    It's hard to think of a more desperate move than plastering your face at giant size over a city, but Gordon Engle pulled it off. The thirsty North Carolina divorcee theoretically shouldn't have any trouble finding a mate - he's rich, well-traveled and not hideous. But he didn't want to go on Match.com like an ordinary plebian, so he set up a website that has videos of him prowling his enormous mansion and chilling on his boat, and then bought two huge billboards in Charlotte and one over the Stevenson Expressway in Chicago to drive traffic. (Photo credit: Youtube)

    Malik Turner

    You don't have to have a lot of money to have a massive thirst. Malik Turner is a fortysomething man who lives with his mother in Harlem, and he's ready to find the woman of his dreams. How is he going about it? By hand-writing personal ads and putting them up on phone booths around New York City. Turner's ads state that he's looking for a blonde, long-legged babe who wants to split the check on dates and isn't an actual prostitute. When his mother was informed about her son's dating strategy, she wasn't terrifically happy about it. (Photo credit: The Gloss)

    The I Love You, Shauna Guy

    We don't have the name of this particular thirsty dude, but his accomplishments in the field of debasing himself utterly for a woman need to be recognized. In 2014, the website "I Love You Shauna" was discovered, a deeply pathetic apology letter to an ex-girlfriend that's so desperate it's almost funny. Our unnamed dumpee rolls over and shows Shauna his belly before promising to do an enormous list of things that include "spend more time with your family" and "make you my Woman Crush Wednesday on Instagram every Wednesday." Yikes. (Photo credit: Her)

    Robert Darling

    Here's another New Yorker taking an unconventional approach to finding a lady love. Robert Darling has been unemployed for the past decade, but instead of looking for a work he spends his days with a hand-scrawled sign that reads "Looking for a wealthy lady to be my wife." Darling parades around with his advertisement outside the Metropolitan Museum of Art, in the Financial District and Columbus Circle - three spots where rich babes do hang out. He hasn't really had any luck with it so far, and you'd think that after ten years he might want to change it up a little. (Photo credit: Whats On Sanya)

     

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    Instead of using Tinder to beg for sex like us normal folks do, this guy named Ryne has been using it to mess with women, thus destroying his chances of ever being with them. At least he's getting a good laugh out of all of this. Take a look below at how Ryne has been trolling women with all sorts of hilarious messages, and then you can look at this comedian also messing with people on Tinder.

    Funny, Tinder Troll

    Funny, Tinder Troll

    Funny, Tinder Troll

    Funny, Tinder Troll

    Funny, Tinder Troll

    Funny, Tinder Troll

    Funny, Tinder Troll

    Funny, Tinder Troll

    Funny, Tinder Troll

    Funny, Tinder Troll

    Funny, Tinder Troll

    Funny, Tinder Troll

    Funny, Tinder Troll

    Funny, Tinder Troll

    Funny, Tinder Troll

    Funny, Tinder Troll

    Via Bro Bible

     

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    Little brothers and sisters love to complain about getting picked on by their older siblings. What they always fail to mention is how they often deserved it. Having a young sibling is a blessing because it prevents you from coming down with only-child syndrome and turning into a weird adult with no friends. However, it's easy to forget that blessing when they're constantly pestering you, going through your things, seeking revenge for an imagined slight, embarrassing you in front of the new girl at school...the list goes on. No one knows this better than those of us who were forced to share a bedroom with a young sibling. If you fall in that category, get ready to relate to these photos.

    Learning how to sleep through anything
    Funny, Funny Siblings

    Pretending not to find them just so they keep hiding
    Funny, Funny Siblings

    Parents envisioning your room...
    Funny, Funny Siblings

    Actually living in your room...
    Funny, Funny Siblings

    Trying to establish boundaries
    Funny, Funny Siblings

    Learning how to plot revenge at a young age
    Funny, Funny Siblings

    Knowing nothing is private
    Funny, Funny Siblings

    Dropping your guard for just one second and ... BOOM, stitches
    Funny, Funny Siblings

    Desperately seeking a quiet place to "meditate"
    Funny, Funny SIblings

    Waiting until your parents are gone for some vigilante justice
    Funny, Funny Siblings

    Constantly threatening them because they're so damn annoying
    Funny, Funny Siblings

    Knowing all Spice Girls' lyrics, even though you hate the songs
    Funny, Funny Siblings

    Knowing nothing is sacred
    Funny, Funny Siblings

    Realizing he wears your clothes when you're not there
    Funny, Funny Siblings

    Coming home to action figure or doll massacres
    Funny, Funny Siblings

    Hating that dumb blank look they give you after destroying everything
    Funny, Funny Siblings

    Saying anything just to get them to stop singing
    Funny, Funny Siblings

    Hiding your favorite snack foods
    Funny, Funny Siblings

    Knowing when to take matters into your own hands
    Funny, Funny Siblings

    Exhausting all of your options for peace
    Funny, Funny Siblings

     

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    Animals are an unpredictable bunch. When you try to do segments with them on television, it's as if they almost enjoy proving it. We'd like to say that it's only a few bad eggs who are responsible for such poor behavior, but as you will see below, virtually every member of the animal kingdom does their part to ensure that no live broadcast goes according to plan. (Note: Click on links for longer video clips.)

    Fish:
    animals attacking reporters on TV, fish
    Who would have thought that dropping a fish would result in everyone flopping around on the ground?

    Cardinals:
    animals attacking reporters on TV, cardinal
    Yeah, birds bite.

    Ostriches:
    animals attacking reporters on TV, ostrich
    That's what you get for wearing a bow tie.

    Roosters:
    animals attacking reporters on TV, rooster chicken
    I think we know who the real chicken is here.

    Pelicans:
    animals attacking reporters on TV, pelican
    Seriously, again with the grown man screaming?

    Screw it, birds in general:
    animals attacking reporters on TV, bird
    Does a bird shit in your mouth? (we know this one was fake, but we don't care)

    Boars:
    animals attacking reporters on TV, boar
    Boar-ing!

    Sheep:
    animals attacking reporters on TV, sheep
    Look closely.

    Goats:
    animals attacking reporters on TV, goat
    Oh yeah, they seem very friendly indeed.

    Cats:
    animals attacking reporters on TV, cat
    Soon...

    Angry Dogs:
    animals attacking reporters on TV, dog
    Flailing your arms around like a lunatic should help.

    Friendly Dogs:
    animals attacking reporters on TV, dog
    Honestly, we don't know which are worse.

    Camels:
    animals attacking reporters on TV, camel
    When it comes to camel, always go with your first instinct of "This might be a...not a good idea."

    Lizards:
    animals attacking reporters on TV, lizard
    When you least suspect it...

    Cicadas:
    animals attacking reporters on TV, cicadas
    OK, so these are just bugs, but how could we resist when the results are so hilarious?

     

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    Here's a guy who sounds like he's better than most of the other candidates when it comes to mass debating.

    According to BNO News, 511 people and one cat have filed a statement of candidacy with the Federal Election Commission so far in hopes of becoming the next President of the United States. But one Iowa man hoping to be the next leader of the free world is making headlines based solely on his name, which of course is Deez Nuts.

    deez nuts is running for president
    Nuts is running as an independent, and according to the paperwork he filed Sunday afternoon, he plans on spending zero dollars of his own money beyond the threshold amount for both the primary and general elections.

    It also looks as though the Nuts campaign headquarters will be located in Wallingford, a town of less than 200 people in the middle-of-nowhere Iowa.

    It's unknown if Deez's foreign policy platform will be as popular as his name, but we're expecting it to be a tad more detailed than the plan Limberbutt McCubbins has drawn up.

    And that's because McCubbins is the one cat currently on this year's ballot.

    Deez Nuts can sometimes get you in trouble: Read This Georgia Boy's Apology Note For Dropping 'Deez Nuts' On A 911 Operator

     

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    When an asshole parks his car on a bike path, there are three things cyclists can do. For starters, they can just ride around his crappy car. Or they could ride right into the pile of shit and see how much a jury of their peers would award them.

    OR, they could hop off their bike and literally pick the car up from the ground and swing it into an area that is no longer blocking the path.

    Well, according to the Daily Mail, a rather buff gentleman in Sao Paulo recently went with option number three, and the crowd loved him for it.


    Maybe it's just me, but the most impressive part of the clip isn't the guy lifting the car and moving it, as I've seen that done a thousand times on ESPN 2. No, I love how he gets back on his bike and rides off like a six-year-old kid without a care in the world when he's finished with his display of power.

    Neither the guy driving the minivan nor the cyclist in this clip are as tough as this guy, but they both think they are: Minivan Driver Cuts Off Cyclist, Then Gets Out and Kicks His Bike (NSFW Language)

     

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    kate upton bare butt, kate upton sexy photos
    Just when you thought Kate Upton was starting to fade from the limelight, she goes and does something like this...AND TOTALLY REDEEMS HERSELF. This past Sunday, Upton got a little cheeky on Instagram and posted this artsy bare-butt photo. With hashtags of #buttday and #sundayfunday, it's clear that she was determined to make us happy with a shot of her beautiful backside, and we say she succeeded.

    Happy Sunday! #buttday #bruceweber #sundayfunday

    A photo posted by Kate Upton (@kateupton) on

     

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    I wrote a depressing article earlier this year after a female writer suggested granny panties were making a comeback.

    Not so fast.

    According to Huffington Post, now the men have spoken, and it's still thongs and cheeky briefs at the top of their lists.

    men prefer thongs and cheeky briefs
    More than 2,700 "dudes" recently answered underwear and bra questions that were part of a survey conducted by both Huffington Post and AskMen.com, and 72 percent of them preferred the panties that show the most ass. Well, except for the four percent who prefer the "natural kind."

    thongs and cheeky briefs are preferred
    And when it comes to men who are "boob guys," it was push-up bras that won over bralettes, although just barely.

    push up bras are preferred
    But when it all comes down to it, the undergarments a woman is wearing wouldn't be a factor for most guys when they're trying to get in their shorts, as 92 percent of those surveyed said if the woman's panties weren't to their liking, it wouldn't be a deal breaker during a hookup.

    Because let's be honest: Once you get down to that point, how long is she going to keep them on anyway?

    I was serious about that whole granny panties thing: Granny Panties Are Making A Comeback

     

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    Abigail Ratchford has become something of a Mandatory regular with her consistent showing of mouth-watering delicious, tasty teaser clips, usually involving her busty curves and some large amount of water. In one of Playboy's latest, Abigail again proves herself to be one of the ultimate playful pool vixens, and our only complaint is that it doesn't last longer. Luckily, when it comes to Abigail Ratchford, there's always a refresh button.

     

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  • 07/28/15--22:45: Today's Funny Photos
  • Let's be honest, you don't really want to read what I'm writing right now and I don't really want to be writing it. So let's cut the BS and get straight to the funny photos so all of us can be happy.

    funny photos, funny pics











    Click here for more funny photos.



















    Click here for more funny photos.

     

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    These 30-day challenges begin as a hopeful journey into what you believe will end in completion of a month's worth of tasks, but the reality is that 30-day challenges become, "How many of these tasks can I actually complete before I give up or completely forget about because I have the attention span of a squirrel." Well, below is finally a 30-day challenge that we can all complete. Take a look.

    Funny, 30 Day Challenge You Will Finish

    Number 21 is important. Feel free to do that one numerous times.

    Via Pleated Jeans

     

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    As human beings, we bear certain evolutionary advantages that have allowed us to rise to the top of the food chain -- a massive brain and opposable thumbs, most notably. But there are plenty of animals down there who went in some different directions. The insect kingdom is one of the most diverse and prosperous, and will probably inherit the planet after we screw it up enough, so it's not surprising that they've developed some pretty badass abilities of their own -- insanely deadly toxins, most notably. In this feature, we'll share ten insects and other bugs that can seriously mess up your life.

    Tarantula Hawk Wasp
    most venomous bugs
    Different insect venoms affect people in different ways. Some cause a long-lasting pain that can stick with you for days. The tarantula hawk wasp, which lives in the southern United States, goes more for immediate impact. Although you'll only feel its sting for a few minutes, the memory will last a lifetime. These bugs get their name because they prey on tarantulas, paralyzing them and laying eggs in their still-living bodies. Entomologists recommend, if you get stung by one, to just lay down and scream until the pain goes away, because it's so intense it can disrupt your muscle movements and cause further injury.

    Australian Funnel Web Spiders
    most venomous bugs
    The bites of most spiders are relatively harmless -- you'll get some swelling and pain or itching for a day or so, but that's about it. However, a small fraction of spider species pack a little something extra in the venom glands. Many scientists consider the Australian funnel web spider the single most threatening to humans. Bites are delivered by the males of the species, who wander far from their habitats looking for females during mating season. When threatened, they grip onto their victims and bite repeatedly, delivering a toxin that is incredibly painful and elevates heart rate and blood pressure. If left untreated, it can lead to cerebral edemas and death.

    Giant Japanese Hornets
    most venomous bugs
    There's something hilarious about the bizarre, instinctual panic that bees make us feel. Just a single one can set people off in an orgy of arm-flapping and running around. In the case of the giant Japanese hornet, that panic is justified. These nasty bastards can grow to a length of three inches and their sting delivers more of the agony-causing chemical acetylcholine than any other bug. If that's not enough, their venom contains a scent marker that attracts other hornets to it, marking them as prey. Oh, and it also packs an enzyme that dissolves human tissue. Wave your arms harder, buddy.

    Puss Caterpillars
    most venomous bugs
    Most of the bugs on this list have a threatening appearance that is designed to keep predators away, but the puss caterpillar goes in the opposite direction. These insects -- the child form of the female flannel moth -- are covered in a thick, shaggy coat of fibers that look like animal hair, but underneath it is a layer of tiny spines that deliver venom to anybody who touches them. Just one poke hurts as badly as a bee sting, but it's easy to get multiple ones at the same time. The pain starts small and then continues to grow, with some victims saying that it even sunk into their bones.

    Fat-Tailed Scorpions
    most venomous bugs
    In many cultures, the fat-tailed scorpion is referred to as the "man killer" for how many deaths it racks up. These incredibly venomous arachnids live in arid regions of the Middle East, where they use their stingers to kill other insects. However, they're not afraid to use them on us either, and the effects of a strike can be incredibly painful. The neurotoxic venom that they inject is absorbed rapidly into the bloodstream and affect the central nervous system, hyper-stimulating them to cause intense pain, sweating, and drooling. At the same time, the nerves responsible for breathing start to die, which eventually kills you by respiratory failure.

    Giant Silkworm Caterpillar
    most venomous bugs
    Before an insect develops the ability to fly, it needs to keep predators away, and venom is a solid way to do it. The larval form of the giant silkworm moth has developed a poison that is unlike any other, and it's estimated that this hairy little crawler has been responsible for the murder of at least 500 people. When you get poked with the spines, the toxin bonds to your blood cells and removes their ability to clot. That blood then leaks through your system and into other organs, eventually causing hemorrhaging in the brain and death.

    Bullet Ants
    most venomous bugs
    The scary thing about ant bites is that they don't travel alone. If you get one, you're likely to get a bunch. The bullet ant, which lives in South American rainforests, is an inch-long instrument of pain delivery. Their sting rates a four on the Schmidt Scale, a level of measurement devised by an entomologist who specializes in animal agony. Some tribes in the area use the bugs as an initiation rite to manhood, forcing young boys to wear a glove made of leaves with hundreds of ants woven inside for ten minutes.

    Amazonian Giant Centipedes
    most venomous bugs
    Growing to an adult length of over a foot long, the Amazonian giant centipede is gross enough to induce creepy-crawlies just looking at it. But once you learn how it hunts, things get even grosser. These beasts are known to crawl to the roofs of caves and hang down by their powerful legs. When unwitting bats fly by, the centipedes grab them and bite them, injecting a powerful venom that quickly stops their heart. The bugs then feast on their furry flying prey. Bites to humans are not normally fatal, but they cause incredible pain, fevers and a full-body feeling of weakness.

    Brazilian Wandering Spider
    most venomous bugs
    There are numerous arachnids who pack some potent poison in their bites, but the Brazilian wandering spider is one with the most impressive body count. These babies are responsible for multiple human deaths each year as a result of their vicious bite, which delivers a toxin that blocks calcium channels in the brain. At a high enough dose, this can make you lose control of your muscles, have difficulty breathing and eventually choke to death. Add on the fact that their bites also hurt like hell and you've got a winner. One bizarre side effect of the wandering spider bite is that some victims pop intense boners that can last for hours. Doctors are studying the venom to see if they can turn it into an erectile dysfunction drug.

    Maricopa Harvester Ant
    most venomous bugs
    Many of the venomous insects in this article have been pretty flamboyant about their dangerous natures, but the humble Maricopa harvester ant shows that big venom can come in small packages. These little bugs are found plentifully all over Arizona and their poison is generally considered the most toxic insect venom in the entire world. One sting from them can induce intense pain that lasts for four solid hours. They attack by attaching themselves to their victims with their mandibles and then pivoting around to sting multiple times in the same area. The sting also contains an alarm pheromone that triggers other ants to attack.

     

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    If you think about bars, they're kind of depressing places. It's just a big, dark room with uncomfortable seats where you drink until you don't mind you're sitting in a big, dark room with uncomfortable seats. Normally you're too drunk to notice, but what about when you have to be the sober one at the bar? Here are the differences between being drunk at the bar and being sober.

    funny drunk, funny sober, drunk at a bar, sober at a bar

     

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    herman harband, tombstone

    Wow. Let us all praise Herman Harband for keeping it real from beyond the grave. He's in a better place. As for his wife, well...

    Via Reddit

     

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    Admit it. After a couple viewings of "Home Alone" you wanted the thieves to catch up to Kevin and severely injure him, right? Or maybe that's just me because I'm an awful human with issues. Or perhaps you were in that small crowd that wondered who would win in a fight if they ever confronted each other: Kevin or the Predator? Make sure to take the questions below into consideration when making your decision.

    Funny, Kevin From Home Alone Vs Predator
    Considering how Macaulay Culkin ended up, I think we all lose.

    Via Tumblr

     

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    If you're interested in losing your lunch, then you've come to the right place. I'm not sure what's worse, listening to Insane Clown Posse or having to take a shot of alcohol out of the buttcrack of someone who listens to Insane Clown Posse religiously. Either way, there isn't much to say about this clip that the headline doesn't already tell you, so if you don't mind, I'm going to stop writing this now so I can go vomit violently into the nearest toilet or trash can. Thanks for the weight loss, TMZ.

     

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