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Today's Funny Photos


18 Totally Stuck Pets Pretending Everything Is Cool

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If you've ever tripped and fell or banged your elbow in front of a large group of people, you know that the first thing to remember is to pretend like it didn't hurt and shrug it off like nothing. Then when everyone has lost interest, it's finally time to cry. The following photos of pets stuck in hilariously precarious situations are a lot like that. They may need your help, but there's no chance in hell they are going to show it.

stuck pets, pets stuck pretending everything is cool, cat licking bagel

stuck pets, pets stuck pretending everything is cool, dog stuck chair, cat stuck couch

stuck pets, pets stuck pretending everything is cool, dog in dishwasher

stuck pets, pets stuck pretending everything is cool, dog stuck chair

stuck pets, pets stuck pretending everything is cool, dog stuck swing, cat stuck couch

stuck pets, pets stuck pretending everything is cool, pugs in sand

stuck pets, pets stuck pretending everything is cool, corgi puppy in fence

stuck pets, pets stuck pretending everything is cool, dog stuck fence

stuck pets, pets stuck pretending everything is cool, dog stuck trampoline

stuck pets, pets stuck pretending everything is cool, dog stuck beach chair

stuck pets, pets stuck pretending everything is cool, cat stuck slinky, cat stuck tree

stuck pets, pets stuck pretending everything is cool, dog stuck on table

stuck pets, pets stuck pretending everything is cool, dog stuck soda box, dog stuck couch

stuck pets, pets stuck pretending everything is cool, dog stuck trash lid

stuck pets, pets stuck pretending everything is cool, dog head in cone

stuck pets, pets stuck pretending everything is cool, dog stuck stool, cat stuck blinds

stuck pets, pets stuck pretending everything is cool, dog face slice bread

stuck pets, pets stuck pretending everything is cool, dog baby stuck couch homer
(via Imgur)

Related: Dogs Who Have Made Poor Life Decisions

 

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The Top 10 Most Awkward Moments In Oscar Host History

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It is Oscar season. And while the nominees are preparing for their moment in the brightest spotlight the film industry has to offer, there is one individual who may be the most nervous of all: the host. Chris Rock takes those duties this year – and we may even see him mentioned below – at a time where controversy has abounded way before the red carpet has even been removed from storage. Hosting the show may be seen as a tough, thankless job where one is set up as an obvious scapegoat for any criticism the event might generate. Under such a microscope, any awkward moments involving the host are magnified indefinitely. Here we remember the Top 10.

#10 Jon Stewart Remedies Awkwardness with Class (2008)

A big void has been left within the television landscape since Jon Stewart departed "The Daily Show." Though seen as an enemy of the Right, his fairness and sense of justice permeated his comedy and the impact of his influential 30 minute political forum. So it only made sense that as we watched his second and last turn as Oscar host only Stewart could take an awkward moment and turn it into something beautiful. Unless you're the most bankable A-Lister, if you win an Oscar you better keep your speech short or the orchestra will cut you off to keep things moving. For winning duos or groups in the non-acting categories, usually one person gets to do the talking and the others are frozen out. When real life European couple Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova won for Best Original Song, Glen finished his speech and Marketa stepped up to the mic only to have the audio cut off as the band began to play. When the broadcast returned from the following commercial break, Stewart broke format and brought the singer/songwriter back onstage to give her the moment he saw she deserved. An unscripted gesture of humanity, respect, and equality toward a foreigner at a celebrated American event. No wonder the Fox News crowd hates him.


#9 David Niven is Upstaged by a Streaker (1974)
The Top 10 Most Awkward Moments in Oscar Host History
In the early 70s, everyone was streaking. College campuses, sporting events, and other public spaces all became fair game for a prankster or protester to strip down to his or her altogether and run around the joint. The Academy Awards, with its huge television audience, was obviously a prime venue for prime exposure to one's exposure. During his introduction of presenter Elizabeth Taylor to announce the Best Picture winner, host David Niven was first surprised by a commotion from the audience, then the sight of a naked man running past him. Once the commotion subsided, Niven perfectly quipped, "Well, ladies and gentlemen, that was almost bound to happen... But isn't it fascinating to think that probably the only laugh that man will ever get in his life is by stripping off and showing his shortcomings?"


#8 Bob Hope Loses It When "Hearts and Minds" Wins (1975)

Bob Hope holds the record for hosting the Oscars an astounding 19 times. During such a tenure an awkward moment would seem inevitable and Hope's biggest actually came during his 18th appearance. The Hollywood legend was known equally for his onscreen work as he was entertaining our troops at war for the USO for decades and decades. The Vietnam War at that time, which had successfully divided our country and devastated its own, was raging to a close and the Best Documentary winner that year was "Hearts and Minds," a scathing expose' of the controversial war's boosters which specifically featured Hope. Enough of an affront to the host himself, but when one of the winners read a tribute from a Vietnamese ambassador hailing America's push for peace, the comedian had enough. He hastily wrote up a disclaimer from the Academy disavowing responsibility for political statements during the broadcast and made co-host Frank Sinatra read it onstage. Problem was the Academy had not made any such disavowal, the disapproval had fallen squarely and solely with Hope. This perhaps created enough of a schism between the man and the entertainment body that his next time hosting was his last.


#7 Jerry Lewis and the Longest 20 Minutes in History (1959)

Usually the broadcast's endlessness is a factor to lost viewership and a subject of some of its most reliable onscreen jokes. 1959, however, was the year that the Oscars came up short. Way short. Once the Best Picture speech concluded it was frighteningly apparent that there were still 20 minutes of airtime left. Jerry Lewis, who was sharing co-hosting duties with other Hollywood notables, swooped in to the rescue and ad libbed bizarrely for as long as he could. This included an audience Q & A, manically overtaking the orchestra, and leading a chorus of reluctant stars in what seemed like the longest rendition of "There's No Business Like Show Business" in history. Though it is the producer's job to keep a telecast timed and on track, it was Lewis who has continued to take all the heat for this debacle to this very day.


#6 Seth MacFarlane Mistakes the Dolby Theatre for a Hooters (2013)

No doubt Seth McFarlane is a comic genius known to wickedly skewer all levels of our popular culture and politics. But that comedy is proudly sophomoric and when the voice to Peter Griffin, Baby Stewie, and Ted was given the platform to host the Oscars, he did not make any attempt to conduct himself like an upperclassman. His biggest transgression was a song and dance number titled, "We Saw Your Boobs," a blithe listing of many nominated actresses, female attendees and A-Listers who had gone topless sometime during their film career – including Kate Winslet, whom the song implied had done it constantly. Though this number did succeed in milking some cheap laughs at these ladies' expense, MacFarlane's disrespect for them and the event as a whole dominated the news cycles that followed. He has conspicuously not gone on to host another Academy Awards, but the comedian still continues to tweak boobs as a punchline in his movie and TV comedies.


#5 Billy Crystal Busts Out a Racist Joke (2012)

Billy Crystal began hosting the Oscars in 1990, and he quickly brought the notoriously unwieldy role to new heights with his quick wit and family friendly appeal. Such a revered host was he that he stands as the second longest-serving with nine appearances under his belt. It was during his last, however – that saw him essentially come out from a long retirement – where Crystal struck the sourest notes of his tenure. His blackfaced portrayal of Sammy Davis, Jr., a staple of his most popular past comic routines suddenly – and frankly inexplicably – was lambasted for its poor taste and insensitivity. Shock at his Octavia Spencer joke though was more legitimate. After leaving the stage with a Best Supporting Actress statue for her role in "The Help," Crystal told the audience, "I loved that movie... when I saw it, I wanted to hug the first black woman that I saw. Which from Beverly Hills is about a 45 minute drive." A legendary comedian desperate to come off as hip or edgy? We're not sure what his motivation was for this joke, but there are so few opportunities for minorities to achieve Hollywood's highest honor that when it does finally happen, the immediate reaction, especially from the ceremony's host, should not be to talk like a cracker.


#4 Neil Patrick Harris Goes Up in a Puff of Smoke (2015)

He'd hosted the Tonys and the Emmys to much acclaim, so it seemed an obvious choice to add Neil Patrick Harris to the roster of Oscar emcees. It quickly became apparent however that the TV funnyman was out of his league for this particular awards ceremony. In fact, Harris churned out so many awkward moments during the broadcast that he'd have enough to fill up a Top 10 list all on his own. Some might point to the host's nod to Best Picture nominee (and eventual winner) "Birdman's" infamous underwear scene as the most cringeworthy, where he marched from back to center stage wearing only a pair of tighty whities in a lengthy bit that made everyone, other than him it seems, squirm. But it was the set up to his magic trick featuring frequent repetitive updates that interrupted the broadcast – with the involuntary aid of a visibly put upon Octavia Spencer – culminating in a predictably underwhelming climax that made audiences most want to saw this perma-grinning goofball in half.


#3 Chris Rock and #OscarsSoWhite (2016)

Chris Rock was probably stoked about hosting the Oscars this year until the Academy produced a nominees list whiter than an armed Oregon militia. In this era of #BlackLivesMatter, the most powerful institution within the motion picture industry stood up and said #LikeHellThey Do. Reacting to the snub, African-American celebrities have begun to boycott the ceremony, leaving the production so desperate for audience members of color we've heard they've even reached out to Todd Bridges to fill a seat. So what will Rock do as he looks out from that stage and sees a blizzard dressed in Versace and Valentino? That will be more interesting than any of the category's contests. A notoriously outspoken black host presiding over an Oscars drunk with discrimination will be so delightfully awkward we'd even buy tickets to this free televised event.


#2 James Franco and Anne Hathaway Bomb (2011)

At first glance, the pairing of Oscar hosts James Franco and Anne Hathaway was a match made in millennial heaven. All television programs aim hard for a young audience and the Academy Awards are no different. So it may have seemed, for a time, an inspired anointment of this fresh-faced duo to film's most coveted emcee gig. That time pretty much ran out the minute they hit the stage. He seemed disinterested, stoned, and proudly unable to read a teleprompter. She was vivacious from the get go, and as their lack of chemistry and appeal began sink in, amped that vivaciousness up to blood-curdling levels. Their low came during a bit where they both came out in drag, but in retrospect, everything they did that night was deservedly reviled.


#1 David Letterman and Oprah/Uma (1995)

History has labeled David Letterman's one and only time hosting the Oscars as a bust. And the most infamously awkward moment came right at the very beginning of his monologue, forever remembered as the Oprah/Uma moment. Basically he was just goofing on the homonym-like sounds of their unique names and did a quick back and forth introducing the two women, seated at a distance from each other, from his perch atop the stage. And then he threw in the name Keanu for good measure. Some surmised that this started the feud that would keep Oprah from speaking to Dave for close to two decades. It turns out Dave had pissed her off about something else and her silent treatment of him was already in full effect. All of Letterman's Oscar bits that night were excoriated afterwards as childish and inappropriate for the event. In retrospect, or even just spect for the keenest Oscar observers, he seemed to do something most hosts – this list being a prime reminder – are unable to do: bring funny, watercooler moments to an otherwise mostly interminable telecast.

Related: The Top 10 Biggest Oscar Upsets

 

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E-Cigarette Explodes In Guy's Pocket, Almost Blows Off His Leg

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If looking like a tool while using an e-cigarette wasn't enough of a reason to not use one, perhaps the possibility of having it explode in your pocket like it did to the guy below should be enough of an incentive never to use an e-cigarette again.

Josh Hamilton (not the ballplayer) was about to check out at a Shell station in Kentucky when out of nowhere his pocket burst into flames when the e-cigarette inside of it exploded. Check out the video below to see Josh act like the worst stuntman ever:


"Third degree burns all up and down my leg. Just had an Ecig battery blow up and catch fire inside my pocket! Ouch ow ow ow," Josh wrote on his Facebook. Thankfully, Josh didn't lose his leg, but he was left with a pretty horrible wound.

Take a look of the aftermath of his leg thanks to this picture that Josh posted on his Facebook...

We're serious...this is really gross and kind of graphic....

E-Cigarette Explodes In Guy's Pocket, Almost Blows Off His Leg
Let's just hope this little incident will keep Josh away from e-cigarettes. Now if only he would stop riding his hoverboard to work.

h/t Bro Bible

This guy had it blow up in his face: This Is What Happens When An E-Cigarette Blows Up In Your Face

 

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Guy Turns Strangers' Photos Into Amazing Movie Posters

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While I struggle to properly crop and size an image on Photoshop, a Reddit user is making Photoshop look easy as he's taking people's random photos and turning them into fantastic movie posters. Take a look at his amazing creations below and hope that these movies become a reality -- especially that last one.

Guy Turns Strangers Photos Into Amazing Movie Posters


Guy Turns Strangers Photos Into Amazing Movie Posters


Guy Turns Strangers Photos Into Amazing Movie Posters


Guy Turns Strangers Photos Into Amazing Movie Posters


Guy Turns Strangers Photos Into Amazing Movie Posters


Guy Turns Strangers Photos Into Amazing Movie Posters


Guy Turns Strangers Photos Into Amazing Movie Posters


Guy Turns Strangers Photos Into Amazing Movie Posters


Guy Turns Strangers Photos Into Amazing Movie Posters


Guy Turns Strangers Photos Into Amazing Movie Posters


Guy Turns Strangers Photos Into Amazing Movie Posters


Guy Turns Strangers Photos Into Amazing Movie Posters


Guy Turns Strangers Photos Into Amazing Movie Posters


Guy Turns Strangers Photos Into Amazing Movie Posters

Then there is this gem:

Guy Turns Strangers Photos Into Amazing Movie Posters
Should be better than that live-action "Garfield."

h/t Pleated-Jeans

Here's another gem: Dad Balancing Baby Gets One Of The Most Hilarious Photoshop Treatments We've Seen

 

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The Best Of Film And TV Nudity: Mr. Skin's 17th Annual Anatomy Awards

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If awarding the best in movies via the Oscars isn't your thing, and you don't really care about the awards for the worst in movies at the Razzies, perhaps you'll be interested in the best nakedness?

Mr. Skin Once Again Honored The Best Of Film And TV Nudity
That's right, Mr. Skin once again rewarded the best nudity in film and television at the 17th Annual Anatomy Awards. Oh, and Angelina Jolie got the Lifetime 'Skinchievement' Award, as she has had 15 naked roles in her career. Pretty sure this award is more important than the Oscar she has.

Check out the rest of the winners below:

Breast Picture: "Fifty Shades of Grey"

Best Butt: Demi Lovato in Vanity Fair: Photoshoot

Nudecomer of the Year: Chanel Iman in "Dope"

Best Breasts: Joey Fisher in "Anarchy Parlor"

Best Lesbian Scene: Freema Agyeman & Jamie Clayton in "Sense8"

Best TV Show: "Shameless" – Season 5

Best Full Frontal: Alicia Vikander in "Ex Machina"

Celebrity Nude Debut: Kristen Wiig in "Welcome to Me"

Best Nipples: Lena Headey in "Zipper"

Best A-Cup All-Star: Emily Kinney in "Masters of Sex"

Best Bush Only: Liv Tyler in "The Leftovers"

Best Cameltoe: Kate Hudson in "Rock the Kasbah"

Best Ass-Eating: Allison Williams in "Girls"

Longest Butt Crack: Erin Marie Hogan in "Ray Donovan"

Best Pasties: Lady Gaga in "American Horror Story"

Best Facial: Jennifer Connelly in "Shelter"

Best Backbend BJ: Bonnie Rotten in "Appetites"

Best Shaving Cream Crotch: Katarina Cas in "Danny Collins"

Best Blowhole: Kelli Garner in "The Secret Life of Marilyn Monroe"

Most Surprising Nudity: Queen Latifah in "Bessie"

Best Jumpstart Jugs: Emily Bergl in "Shameless"

Best Nude and Tasered: Leslie Bibb in "Salem Rogers"

Best Breast Milking Scene: Laura Donnelly in Outlander

Best Over 40 Nude Scene: Sasha Alexander in "Shameless"

Best Pube Tweeze: Zosia Mamet in "Girls"

Best CGI Nudity: Rebecca Van Cleave in "Game of Thrones"

Best Iceberg Boobs: Weronika Rosati in "True Detective"

Best Threesome: Aomi Muyock and Kiara Kristin in "Love"

Best Double Pressed Hams: Ana de Armas and Lorenza Izzo in "Knock Knock"

Best Naked Piggy Back:Helena Mattsson in "American Horror Story"

Best Nude and Tattooed: Ruby Rose in "Orange is the New Black"

Best Nude in Heels: Lisa Edelstein in "Girlfriends' Guide to Divorce"

Best Naked Human Teeter Totter: Phedra Syndelle and Toni Duclottni in "Straight Outta Compton"

Best Trans Boobs: Trace Lysette in "Blunt Talk"

Best Skinterracial Sex: Jodie Smith in "Mad Dogs"

Best Sex with a Teddy Bear: Sarah Silverman in "I Smile Back"

Best Naked Wheelbarrow: Jil Funke in "Unfinished Business"

Nude Heil Titler: Kim Shannon in "Midnight Sex Run"

Craziest Nude Scene: Rose McGowan in "RM486"

Best Zombie Boobs: Missy Martinez in "Scout's Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse"

Best Butthole Waxing: Christina Millian in Christina Milian "Turned Up"

Make sure to see these: The Top Ten Nude Scenes Of 2015

 

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The Script For Every Car Commercial That's Ever Existed

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You'd think car commercials would come up with some sort of new way to sell a car besides the same commercial format over and over. Unless someone goes really bizarre, like when KIA hamsters, they're all the same thing. To prove it, here's the script of literally every car commercial that you've ever seen.

script for every car commercial ever, funny car commercial script

script for every car commercial ever, funny car commercial script

script for every car commercial ever, funny car commercial script

 

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Woman Tells Starbucks Barista Her Name Is Beyonce, Gets Hilarious Response

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While I will never understand the absurd amount of love this world has for Beyonce, (I shall await your pitchforks), some people absolutely lose their mind at even the mention of her name, so one woman decided to mess around with Starbucks staff by telling them her name was Beyonce. And she didn't expect the response she received.

The woman, who goes by the amazing Vine username of Jewish Jen, was able to capture the response and share it with all of us. Check out the Vine below:


That barista wasn't fucking around.

h/t Mashable

Since you're probably wondering: The 10 Hottest Funny Girls on Vine

 

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The Funniest GIFs Of The Week

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Why spend your own precious time scouring the Internet for funny GIFs when we've already done the legwork for you? These are the cream of the crop, people. Check 'em out, have some LOLs and move on with your day.

funny gifs, busty woman jumps rope
Attempting to conceal herself while jumping rope was a bust.


funny gifs, swing jump wasted
Swing and a miss for the swing and miss.


funny gifs, surprised dog cake
That reaction is straight out of a cartoon.


funny gifs, giant pigeon poops
Never fails.


funny gifs, dog chases bears
A real life Scrappy-Doo in action.


funny gifs, pinata stick throw fail
How'd you rope her into being the rope? Nevermind, she's dead.


funny gifs, potato chip bag air
There's a lot more power behind the phrase "all that and a bag of chips" than I thought.


funny gifs, raccoon dodges explosions
That settles it -- raccoons are secret agents.


funny gifs, crowd falls over
He really knows how to get the crowd...off their feet?


funny gifs, cat rides car hood
Have we mentioned that cats are a-holes?


funny gifs, dog dances no arms
So wrong, but so right.


funny gifs, dad kicks soccer ball
Parenting GOOOOOOALS!!!!!


Don't be a poor sport. Give last week's hilarious GIFs a rematch.

 

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The 10 Most Famous Oscars

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It's that time again. With this year's Academy Awards already teeming with controversy, we figured the best course of action would be to lighten the mood a bit. What better way to do that than by counting down the 10 most famous Oscars (both fictional and nonfictional) to get everybody back in the true spirit of the season — patting famous people on the back.

#10 - Oscar Wilde
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An Irish playwright...pretty goddamn boring. I guess we kind of forgot how few Oscars there are in the mainstream. Better spice this list up quick.


#9 - Oscar ("Shark Tale")
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Here we go. He may be the second lowest on our list, but who could say no to those creepy, human-looking lips and teeth? He's no Nemo, but he gets the job done. With Will Smith not attending the Academy Awards this year, his fish substitute is almost as good as the real thing. OK, he's not, at all, but like we said, pretty small number of Oscars to choose from.


#8 - "Oscar" (1991)
famous oscars, 10 most famous oscars, oscar film 1991
The character of Oscar played by Sly Stallone may not have been all that memorable (I mean, have you even heard of this movie?), but fortunately the title "Oscar" encompasses the entire cast. That includes the great Tim Curry, Marisa Tomei, Chazz Palminteri, Kirk Douglas and more. Tell me that lineup alone doesn't deserve a spot here.


#7 - Oscar Martinez ("The Office")
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Now, you would think since we opted for the film "Oscar" above instead of just the character, we'd go the same route here and pick actor Oscar Nuñez over his Oscar Martinez character from "The Office." But honestly, the actor's second biggest role was in the terrible Ryan Reynolds/Sandra Bullock romcom "The Proposal," so we'll stick with just the one solid character, thanks.


#6 - Rey Mysterio
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Also known as Óscar Gutiérrez Rubio. Need we say more?


#5 - Oscar de la Hoya
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His uncanny ability to knock opponents out with a mighty left cross is matched only by his affinity for wearing women's underwear. Hmm, I guess that's not really a good thing, but whatever. Only three more to go before our obvious big winner.


#4 - Oscar Bluth ("Arrested Development")
famous oscars, 10 most famous oscars, oscar bluth arrested development
Along with playing Oscar on the Netflix series "Arrested Development," actor Jeffrey Tambor also plays his twin brother George Bluth Sr. That's pretty impressive. Couple that with his award-winning role on "Transparent" and you got yourself one hell of a talented actor. But that's neither here nor there. In fact, it was kinda all over the place. Sorry about that. I'm just a little distracted thinking about how much cooler it would have been if the Academy Awards statue was named The John or The Steve or something. That would have been a pretty sweet list.


#3 - Oscar the Grouch ("Sesame Street")
famous oscars, 10 most famous oscars, oscar the grouch sesame street
The man's life is pure garbage. Literally, even his computer is made of what looks like old pizza crusts. If he didn't break top three here, we're not sure what he could do to sink lower. But we weren't willing to take the chance.


#2 - The Oscar statue
famous oscars, 10 most famous oscars, oscar statue
Ah, yes, the Oscar statue. Obviously since it was the whole reason we decided to make this list, it should be towards the top. But other than that, you're looking at it

...I'm sure it's a lot more mesmerizing in person.


#1 - The Oscar Mayer Wienermobile
famous oscars, 10 most famous oscars, oscar mayer wienermobile
'Cause let's face it, the Oscars are overrated anyways. But our love of hot dogs (and catchy jingles describing our desire to be one of those hot dogs) can never be overexaggerated.

 

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Pamela Anderson Goes Completely Nude For Paper Magazine

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Just because Playboy is done putting nude content in their magazine doesn't mean that Pamela Anderson is done going nude, as she took it all off in a recent photoshoot for PAPER magazine.

Pamela teamed up with Amelie Pichard to promote a new vegan shoe line. I don't know what the hell a vegan shoe line is, but it doesn't really matter because Pamela promotes them completely naked. Check out the photos below via Paper magazine's Instagram:

@pamelaanderson Models Her New Cruelty-Free Shoes, @ameliepichard (and Not Much Else) 📷: @vijatm

A photo posted by Paper Magazine (@papermagazine) on


@pamelaanderson Models Her New Cruelty-Free Shoes, @ameliepichard (and Not Much Else) 📷: @vijatm

A photo posted by Paper Magazine (@papermagazine) on


@pamelaanderson Models Her New Cruelty-Free Shoes, @ameliepichard (and Not Much Else) 📷: @vijatm

A photo posted by Paper Magazine (@papermagazine) on


Amelie also added her own photos from the shoot on her Instagram:



The whole idea of being a vegan would be more widely considered if more stuff like this was done.

Check out Pamela in this iconic magazine: Pamela Anderson Graces The Cover Of The Final Nude Playboy Issue

 

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This Is Why You Can Never Trust Your Loved Ones

This Passive-Aggressive Office Sign Just Got Passive-Aggressively One-Upped

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You should never be coy with your insults. After all, isn't the point of calling someone out on their bullshit the satisfaction of witnessing how they react? This is made even more fulfilling when you know you're in the right. So we don't know what was going through the person's head who made the office sign below. Well, other than, "I'm a non-confrontational baby who likes to do things the hard way by leaving wussy notes around the office that make me an even more hated person in the process."

passive aggressive office sign, passive aggressive office note
Seriously, is anyone on the first note's side after that sweet second note zinger? I mean, I clearly hate when assholes have obnoxious, obstructive conversations in the middle of a crowded hallway, but I still can't back it.

(via Imgur)

Here are a few more brilliant examples of how not to live your life: 18 Notes Left By Passive Aggressive Professionals

 

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Gold Digger Prank Proves That Money Still Reigns Supreme

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Before Kanye West lost his mind, his "Gold Digger" song reminded us that some gals only have money on their minds. The prank below is just another example that shows that.

YouTube prankster (not a real job despite people trying to convince us it is) Josh Paler Lin decided to play a trick on a hot, unsuspecting woman. Josh shows up looking like a bum, hoping to get the young woman's number, and is rejected. Moments later, his accomplice shows up in a suit and fancy car, and of course the blonde is a bit more interested in this dude.

Check out how the prank unfolds from there:


Hell, this is probably fake; mostly because her acting looks like she just stepped out of "Acting 101" at the YMCA, but it still proves that money still rules all.

h/t The Lad Bible

And here's more proof: This Lamborghini Gold Digger Prank Is Hysterical Yet Sad At The Same Time

 

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This Girl Is Much, Much More Than A Pretty Face


Today's Funny Photos

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Friday is here and the only thing standing between you and the weekend are today's funny photos. If these don't last long enough, spend the rest of the day with us on Twitter and Instagram. Then get the hell off your computer and go get hammered. (And maybe check us out on your phone a little later, too.)

funny photos

funny photos

funny photos

funny photos

funny photos

funny photos

funny photos

funny photos

Fifth place looks overwhelming.
funny photos

funny photos

funny photos

funny photos

And finally, please read all of these hashtags.
funny photos

 

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11 Odd Facts That Will Make You Look At Porn Very Differently

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If you have an Internet connection, odds are you've been to a porn site. Porn is as American as apple pie. Perhaps even more American than apple pie, seeing as though an estimated 40 million of us take part in its ritual viewing. Since it's everywhere (as are facts about porn), we wanted to find some of the rarest tidbits out there. Here are some that you probably haven't heard of...and maybe didn't want to.

Utah ranks No. 1 in porn subscriptions in the United States.
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In 2009, Harvard economics professor Benjamin Edelman published a study in the Journal of Economic Perspective that indicated Utah had the most porn subscriptions per capita in the country. Remember, this is porn subscriptions, not porn consumption.


This one's for Subway — Every day, there are 116,000 queries for "child pornography."
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Shocking, I know. What's even more shocking is that people are actually dumb enough to enter that query into Google.


Kenya comes in first in gay porn searches.
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Interestingly, homosexuality is forbidden by law in Kenya. You could face up to 21 years in prison if convicted. One statistic even says that 92 percent of the country believes homosexuality to be unacceptable. Yet, their Googling says differently. Back here in the states, Mississippi holds the crown for the highest percentage of gay porn viewers. It seems the most repressed lash out in a fury of homoeroticism.


North Koreans who watch South Korean porn are killed.
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In 2013, a witness told a Korean newspaper that 10,000 Wonsan residents were huddled into a stadium to watch eight executions via firing squad. Most of the offenders were caught with South Korean porn. Can't we all just get along? North Korea isn't the only country to outlaw pornography entirely. Iran, as well, will throw you on the chopping block for getting your jollies the wrong way.


The most popular search term in Finland is "mature," followed by "granny."
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According to stats compiled by Gizmodo, Finland likes 'em old and wrinkly.


One small California town produces 85 percent of the world's porn.
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Chatsworth, CA, an unassuming town of about 41,000 people, creates the lion's share of adult content. North of Los Angeles, it's home to everything from female talent agencies to every major and minor adult film company. Almost everything you watch online -- and on DVDs; can't forget those archaic things -- comes from this tiny, (almost) insignificant town.


The most popular time to watch porn is Sunday morning.
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Religious jokes aside, the cold, hard truth is that Sunday morning is when the hungover and horny are rising and shining. Reminds me of that No Doubt song.


Adult actress Lisa Sparks set the record for biggest gangbang with 919 men.
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In 2004, Lisa Sparks attended the Third Annual World Gangbang Championship and Eroticon with a single goal in mind: to make history. After 12 hours of bumping uglies (45 seconds apiece), she beat out her opponents and won.


Chris Crocker (of "leave Britney alone!" fame) does porn.
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The small-town Tennessee native with a penchant for melodramatic vlogging took his talents to porn; I've already done the fact-checking, so don't bother. Yes, it seems YouTube fame has its perks, with Crocker signing to Chi Chi LaRue in 2011 and Lucas Entertainment digitally releasing "Chris Crocker's Raw Love" in 2014. Leave him alone!


A huge portion of male performers use a drug called Caverject to sport a superhuman rod.
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It's a little-known secret in the industry that many stars of the pornographic arts inject this drug into their penises for maximum effect.


Porn viewership spikes after presidential elections.
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The simple explanation -- you're happy your team won. The losers, on the other hard, are probably too depressed for porn, or just depressed enough to want to go on a bender. A study published in the journal Evolution and Human Behavior found that testosterone increased after a personal political victory. The researchers looked at the 2004 and 2008 presidential elections and noticed porn searches increased in the states that helped their candidate win. Celebrate good times, come on!

 

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This Week's 20 Funniest Tweets

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Another week, another batch of the most hilarious tweets, compiled just for you. Be sure to follow these guys and gals, and check back here every week for more jokes you can tell your friends and pretend you came up with them. They'll think you're hilarious, but inside you'll be cold and dead.

Follow @robfee on Twitter.


Want more? Check out last week's hilarious tweets.

 

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Donald Trump Has Completely Forgotten How To Spell

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After pretty much getting destroyed at last night's debate, presidential candidate Donald Trump is apparently so shook up he has forgotten how to spell. Check out what he tweeted early this morning:


And Trump forgot to use spell check again as his most recent tweet shows more mistakes:


Someone please tell Trump how to spell "honor," "lightweight," and "choker."

And then there's this: What If Donal Trump Were Also A Literal Asshole?

 

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An Intimate Conversation On The Disadvantages Of Having A Large Penis

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An Intimate Conversation On The Disadvantages Of Having A Large Penis
Every man wants to say he's got himself a big dick. But the truth of the matter is, 85 percent of those men are lying. Research published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine discovered that only 15 percent of men measure at seven inches and just two percent measure over eight. This same study deduced that the average length of a penis is 5.6 inches and its circumference is 4.8 inches.

But since so many men deem it necessary to lie about their size to feel more confident, I figured I'd put out a call to hung gentlemen in North America and have them discuss the lesser-known disadvantages of having a big penis, since we can all take a stab at what the advantages are.

An Intimate Conversation On The Disadvantages Of Having A Large Penis
From this callout, I heard back from a bundle of heat-packing men. Each had no qualms telling me what it was that puts a damper on the whole big dick thing. I spoke with each of them and discovered that hung men are almost prisoners to their larger-than-life penises. Below are the disadvantages we discussed.

It's Difficult To Bed Short Women – Darren, 30, 8 inches
One disadvantage that I have is that I am an average height guy, so I tend to be attracted to shorter women. This means that size can be a problem right from the start. Since everything on her is proportionally smaller, she can be concerned about more pain than pleasure coming from having sex with me.

Because of this, I find myself trying to hook up with women who are as tall if not taller than me, just to improve the odds that she can handle it. But this is difficult, because many women do not want to date a guy shorter than them. This definitely reduces the pool of people I have access to, and at times is rather frustrating.

An Intimate Conversation On The Disadvantages Of Having A Large Penis
Anal Sex Sends Your Partner To The Hospital – Curtis, 29, 9.75 inches
Certain positions hurt girls, including some of my favorites: doggy style and reverse cowgirl. Anal is usually out of the question and I'm not going to lie, I'm a big fan. I've accidentally had to take a woman to the hospital. Also, reputation at local bars is disadvantageous -- every single one of my ex-girlfriends and her friends know me or "have heard of me."


Being Too Thick Is Even Worse – Jeremy, 41, 8.2 inches
I've encountered zero disadvantages to having a longer penis. Every problem -- except maybe unwanted erections -- I've had is due to girth. When I was dating every one of my girlfriends, each was genuinely afraid to try having intercourse with me. When I finally got married, I was still technically a virgin. I'd been given hand jobs, oral sex and other types of "outercourse" but no actual intercourse. Guys who wish they had big penises should wonder what something like that will do to a young man's ego.

Sometimes, All You Are To Her Is Your Penis – Franklin, 40, 8 inches
One big disadvantage is when you like a woman and really want to pursue a relationship with her but she just wants to be with you because of the size of your penis.

An Intimate Conversation On The Disadvantages Of Having A Large Penis
You Become A Stereotype – Justin, 31, 8.5 inches
There are many expectations, stereotypes, etc. that come with having a big dick and it can even turn some girls off. Just because I'm on the bigger side doesn't mean I'm some player. I've never even had a one-night stand, I've only slept with five women!

You Must Edit Your Wardrobe – Benjamin, 31, 10 inches
Fitted trousers can be restrictive and certain sex positions are off-limits. I can only wear fitted boxers because I need things to stay in place and I usually can't fully thrust as I may bruise my girlfriend's cervix. Foreplay is a must and sleeping with certain ladies is just not possible.

An Intimate Conversation On The Disadvantages Of Having A Large Penis
Now have fun with your thing: 12 Things Every Man Does With His Penis

 

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