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Current Day Raps By Has-Been Rappers

February 26, 2013, 10:45 pm
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Remember all of those great hip hop songs from the late 90's and early 2000's? Do you ever wonder what happened to all of those promising, young artists who seemed to have their whole career in front of them? Well they're probably all broke now and desperate for money! That's why now would be a perfect time for these fallen stars to reunite and create an honest, transparent album about their current living situations but to the style of their past successes. Here are just a few samples of what could be created:

Chingy (sung to the tune of "Holidae Inn"):




Ying Yang Twins (sung to the tune of "Wait (The Whisper Song)):




Nelly (sung to the tune of "Hot in Herre"):




Bell Biv DeVoe (sung to the tune of "Poison"):

 

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Today in Twitter Typos: Sea Section

February 26, 2013, 11:45 pm
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Social media has been a terrific way for us all to come together and make fun of people who put their ignorance on display for the whole world to see. Last week, we enjoyed tweets from people who thought "bowl" was spelled BOWEL.

This week's collection comes courtesy of a bunch of people who don't realize that the C in C-section is short for Caesarean. And just like that, a surgical procedure for delivering babies becomes a portion of the ocean.

 

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Today's Funniest Photos 2-27-13

February 27, 2013, 12:45 am
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Natasha Kizmet is Cosmically Hot

February 26, 2013, 3:13 am
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World's Greatest Chair Will Re-fill Your Beer For You

February 27, 2013, 10:09 am
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If there's one thing we're always looking for, it's easier ways to fill up our beers. Well, the geniuses behind this chair have brought us one step closer to a never-ending glass full of suds. The recliner featured in the above video contains a Bottoms Up beer dispenser installed in one of the arm rests. The Bottoms Up can fill your cup from the bottom up faster than an average tap. All you need is a special cup with magnets that work specifically with this type of dispenser. All of which is to say: mom, dad, friends - if you see this on the market any time soon, I have a birthday coming up and I sure could use a new recliner.

 

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Nikee Sawyer is a Sexy Star from 'The Shire'

February 27, 2013, 10:34 am
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    Nikee Sawyer is an Australian TV personality and model who became well known last year Down Under as a regular on the reality-drama television series "The Shire." Described as the "all Australian girl next door," Nikee has done some modeling since the show wrapped up and dreams of becoming a model for high-end fashion magazines. She is engaged to fellow cast member Michael Agostino, and for more you can follow Nikee Sawyer on Twitter.

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    Nikee Sawyer is an Australian TV personality and model who became well known last year Down Under as a regular on the reality-drama television series "The Shire." Described as the "all Australian girl next door," Nikee has done some modeling since the show wrapped up and dreams of becoming a model for high-end fashion magazines. She is engaged to fellow cast member Michael Agostino, and for more you can follow Nikee Sawyer on Twitter.

  • Picdesk.com
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    Nikee Sawyer is an Australian TV personality and model who became well known last year Down Under as a regular on the reality-drama television series "The Shire." Described as the "all Australian girl next door," Nikee has done some modeling since the show wrapped up and dreams of becoming a model for high-end fashion magazines. She is engaged to fellow cast member Michael Agostino, and for more you can follow Nikee Sawyer on Twitter.

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    Nikee Sawyer is an Australian TV personality and model who became well known last year Down Under as a regular on the reality-drama television series "The Shire." Described as the "all Australian girl next door," Nikee has done some modeling since the show wrapped up and dreams of becoming a model for high-end fashion magazines. She is engaged to fellow cast member Michael Agostino, and for more you can follow Nikee Sawyer on Twitter.

  • Picdesk.com
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    Nikee Sawyer is an Australian TV personality and model who became well known last year Down Under as a regular on the reality-drama television series "The Shire." Described as the "all Australian girl next door," Nikee has done some modeling since the show wrapped up and dreams of becoming a model for high-end fashion magazines. She is engaged to fellow cast member Michael Agostino, and for more you can follow Nikee Sawyer on Twitter.

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    Nikee Sawyer is an Australian TV personality and model who became well known last year Down Under as a regular on the reality-drama television series "The Shire." Described as the "all Australian girl next door," Nikee has done some modeling since the show wrapped up and dreams of becoming a model for high-end fashion magazines. She is engaged to fellow cast member Michael Agostino, and for more you can follow Nikee Sawyer on Twitter.

  • Picdesk.com
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    Nikee Sawyer is an Australian TV personality and model who became well known last year Down Under as a regular on the reality-drama television series "The Shire." Described as the "all Australian girl next door," Nikee has done some modeling since the show wrapped up and dreams of becoming a model for high-end fashion magazines. She is engaged to fellow cast member Michael Agostino, and for more you can follow Nikee Sawyer on Twitter.

  • Picdesk.com
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    Nikee Sawyer is an Australian TV personality and model who became well known last year Down Under as a regular on the reality-drama television series "The Shire." Described as the "all Australian girl next door," Nikee has done some modeling since the show wrapped up and dreams of becoming a model for high-end fashion magazines. She is engaged to fellow cast member Michael Agostino, and for more you can follow Nikee Sawyer on Twitter.

  • Picdesk.com
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    Nikee Sawyer is an Australian TV personality and model who became well known last year Down Under as a regular on the reality-drama television series "The Shire." Described as the "all Australian girl next door," Nikee has done some modeling since the show wrapped up and dreams of becoming a model for high-end fashion magazines. She is engaged to fellow cast member Michael Agostino, and for more you can follow Nikee Sawyer on Twitter.

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    Next: Anna Grigorenko is a Ukrainian Knockout

    Nikee Sawyer is an Australian TV personality and model who became well known last year Down Under as a regular on the reality-drama television series "The Shire." Described as the "all Australian girl next door," Nikee has done some modeling since the show wrapped up and dreams of becoming a model for high-end fashion magazines. She is engaged to fellow cast member Michael Agostino, and for more you can follow Nikee Sawyer on Twitter.

 

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Today's Funniest Photos - 2-28-13

February 27, 2013, 9:06 pm
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The Funniest GIFs of the Week - February 28, 2013

February 27, 2013, 9:35 pm
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If Famous Movie Scenes Used Internet Slang

February 27, 2013, 10:17 pm
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Internet speak has made communication way easier. Everyone gets right to the point with just a few quick letters tied together. Since we've all adapted accordingly, we thought it was time to update some of the most famous movie scenes in Hollywood with common Internet slang.

The Terminator
"I'll be back."


Gone with the Wind
"Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn."


Scarface
"Say hello to my little friend."


The Crying Game


When Harry Met Sally


Silence of the Lambs


Pulp Fiction


Jerry Maguire
"You had me at hello."


Goodfellas


Apollo 13
"Houston we have a problem."


The Big Lebowski
"Shut the fuck up Donny!"


In the Company of Men

Free Willy


Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid

The Ten Commandments


Terminator 2: Judgment Day
"Hasta la vista, baby."


Taxi Driver
"You talkin' to me?"

 

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The Worst Sports Collectibles of All Time

February 27, 2013, 10:30 pm
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    There's not a man among us who didn't have at least one or two sports figurines growing up. Sure, they weren't always the most detailed or accurate, but we got the point. However, looking back, a lot of our childhood heroes had toys, statues and bobbleheads modeled after them that could just barely qualify as being in their likeness. Here is a list of some of the worst offenders.

    Roy Halladay, 2012 (MLB.com)

    Let's start with a collectible that drew a lot of negative attention from fans when it first showed up on MLB's website. Along with Halladay's uncharacteristically happy face, he appears to be playing some sort of variation of the game where pitchers hold the baseball at all times and throw their gloves at the batter instead. Who knows, maybe it'll catch on.

    (Editor's note: After it was discovered, MLB.com rectified the error)

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    Gary Payton, 1996 (Starting Lineup)

    OK, to be fair, if you search for and order the 1996 Gary Payton Starting Lineup figure from Amazon, you will get an actual Gary Payton figure and not this obvious mistake. But this is the photo they have up, and people aren't too happy when they order it expecting to receive the flawed product. However, that doesn't mean it's any less hilarious to us.

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    Jason Kidd, 1996 (Starting Lineup)

    Rest assured, if you are even remotely anything but white, Starting Lineup will capitalize on it...

    Related: Another 1990's Jason Kidd Starting Lineup Fail

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    Derek Jeter, 1996 (Starting Lineup)

    ...unless you are Derek Jeter. Then you become a white Irish man.

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    Alex Ovechkin, 2012 (NHL.com)

    This one is actually pretty good. And by pretty good, we mean that if you have a buddy who is a huge Alex Ovechkin fan and you like it when someone spits in your face, you should buy it for him as a gift.

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    Dennis Rodman, 1999 (Street Players)

    This one is too close to pick a favorite. On the one hand, who wouldn't want an awful-looking, borderline Dennis Rodman Barbie doll that you can accessorize? But on the other hand, you'd have to be as sexually confused as Dennis Rodman to buy the blushing bride on the right.

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    One more shot of the Dennis Rodman Wedding Day doll, just for good measure.

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    Brett Favre, 1998 (Headliners)

    Is it possible to read sarcasm? Let's give it a shot. Wow, for a product that focuses primarily on faces, they sure sculpted this one down to the finest detail.

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    Dale Earnhardt, Sr., 2004 (Sportsman Collection)

    This one is pretty close when it comes to his likeness. We just wanted to point out how NASCAR was just shamelessly exploiting their fanbase. But just for future reference, hunter Dale Earnhardt, if you are going to go through all the trouble of even buying a camo backpack, spring for the camo hat as well.

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    Tiger Woods

    Judging from his body language, Tiger just sank a putt, and he is pumped. A lot of detail sure went into this statue. Too bad the designers didn't think his face needed to reflect that.

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    Robert Griffin III, 2012 (McFarlane Toys NFL Series 31)

    In all honesty, this figurine looks pretty damn good. But of course, it is getting a lot of complaints from die-hard fans. While the attention to detail here appears to be quite stellar, Robert Griffin has always worn a white glove as well as a pure white arm sleeve. And honestly, they probably would have gotten away with it if that glove pattern weren't so ridiculously ugly.

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    Charles Barkley, 1996 (Starting Lineup)

    Who wouldn't want a guy on his basketball team with arms longer than his legs with an inability to jump straight up?

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    Charles Barkley, 1997 (Starting Lineup)

    Another one for Chuck. We're not saying he looks like a Green Lantern villain, we're just not NOT saying it. And what happened to his torso?

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    Mark McGwire, 1988 (Starting Lineup)

    Now, we'll admit that we don't know everything about human anatomy, but we are pretty sure that a person's wingspan, and not just their right arm by itself, should be about the same as how tall they are.

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    Ronaldo (Brazil), 2009

    We get it, his teeth are a little weird, and he's not as attractive as the other Ronaldo. But come on, cut the poor guy a little slack.

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    Mike Tyson

    What can we say about this doll other than it makes the previous Ronaldo bobblehead look like Michelangelo's David. Seriously, this may be the ugliest thing we've ever seen. Jokes aren't even really necessary if you just look at the picture for about 10 straight seconds.

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    Steve Nash, 2007 (MacFarlane NBA Series 5)

    Where to even start with this one? Besides looking nothing like Steve Nash (more like Justin Long perhaps?), it's just a repainted version of his Dallas Mavericks figure that also looks nothing like him (next slide).

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    See, told ya.

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    Ken Griffey, Jr.

    We don't want to say this one is borderline racist.

    ...That is all.

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    Cal Ripken, Jr., 2007 (giveaway)

    Sorry, we don't know why we put this one. It's a perfectly accurate Bruce Willis bobblehead.

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    Lou Williams, 2012 (giveaway)

    This meme really says it best. And just as an added bonus, here is a cool Lou Williams story.

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    Zinedine Zidane (Real Madrid)

    We don't think a man's facial/head features could be exaggerated any more than this.

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    Shaquille O'Neal, 1998 (Starting Lineup)

    Doubles as "Generic Bald African-American Athlete" quite well.

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    Roger Bossard, 2011

    Don't get us wrong, it's neat that the Chicago White Sox had a Roger Bossard bobblehead day to honor the team's official head groundskeeper since 1983. But...come on. Where do you even put something like this once you have it?

    (Editor's note: In 2012 the White Sox also had a Beer Vendor Bobblehead giveaway)

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    Next: The Worst Movie Action Figures of All Time

    Michael Vick

    He was the most hated athlete in the NFL at one point, and for good reason. And this custom made figure combining Vick with McFarlane Toys' Military Series 4 Dog Trainer line -- actually, this is just in very, very poor taste.

 

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Behind The Scenes of 'Fast and Furious 6' With New Recruits Luke Evans and Gina Carano

February 27, 2013, 10:48 pm
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by Caroline Frost

In between all the familiar faces doing their worst for the sixth outing of the Fast and Furious franchise, you may recognize a couple of new recruits getting behind the wheel...

Welsh actor Luke Evans ("Three Musketeers," "The Hobbit") and mixed martial artist turned actress Gina Carano ("Haywire") are the latest names on the roll call, and they both admit turning up for work with Vin Diesel and company on day one was a little bit intimidating...

"It was quite weird, to be honest, because they've known each other for 10 years," admits Evans, in between takes on the bitterly cold production set, 20 miles outside London.

"As always happens on big movies, they forget to introduce you. I hadn't had the chance to meet them, and the first scene I shot on this film is almost the end of the film, when they think they've caught my character. I'm handcuffed, with a bloody face, and it's the whole team, and my first introduction is to shake hands with a handcuff.

"I had to insult a lot of them, get dragged down the stairs by Dwayne (Johnson), get punched in the face by Paul (Walker), and then eyeballed by Vin. This is the movies for you, you never get the normal introduction you would in any other job. And I think they're probably enjoying the fact there's a new boy, different to them, bringing a new energy, another dynamic."

Gina had her own anxieties... "I was nervous, like I get with everybody. I'm used to watching these movies, so in the first take I had to remind myself, I'm in this.
"I had to do this look over my shoulder, and all I could think of was Zoolander, I had to get that out of my head. But it's not easy to be that vulnerable in a whole room of people. This is the second movie I've gotten (after taking the lead in 'Haywire'), so I take it really seriously, but what this business helps you also do is laugh at yourself a little."

A quick run-down on their characters: Gina plays Reilly, one of Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson's team. They're all being very elliptical today about plot but, according to Gina, "she's got some cool twists and turns throughout the movie, which I think you should be surprised by."

Meanwhile, Luke is relishing getting his acting chops around villain Owen Shaw, ex-SAS veteran, who's busy hijacking military technology and selling it for vast sums round the world. He's, arguably, the first archetypal villain to come up against the Fast and Furious team, but Luke admits to more than a sneaking respect for his baddie...

"He's British, painfully good-looking... drives very nice cars. He's not what you'd expect from a British villain. Everyone was saying, 'Oh, you're going to have a plummy accent, and a furry cat, a white swivel chair,' but there's none of that. He can stand up to these guys and do stuff that they can't do, with weapons and machinery that they've never seen, can get inside the bonnet of a car... " okay, okay, Luke, we get the message, he's The Man. Oh no, he's still going... "he's very clever, he's articulate, he has an agenda, he's very precise in his work, he leaves nothing behind, and what's great in the film, he's constantly one step ahead and they cannot understand why."

For Luke, preparation involved tapping his usual resources of military pals, colleagues and knowledge...

"There are certain things they'd say, or hold stuff, or speak, or not speak... my Marine friend said sometimes they'd arrive late at night on a camp and set up and they wouldn't speak, they'd just sit there cleaning their weapons, they'd just go to bed and the following morning they'd be gone, and there was no mark of them on the floor, no one woke up when they left, that's the sort of people we're talking about, they are the special forces.
"It's quite a responsibility really, but it's good, it's a challenge, it's what you do, I've gone from shooting dragons to shooting people." (Presumably he is referring to his time in New Zealand for the past year, filming "The Hobbit.")

For Gina, her biggest responsibility was holding back on her martial arts skills (formerly the world's third-ranked 66kg fighter), and not actually hurting anybody, which upsets her when she doesn't know her own strength on set against unsuspecting types...

"It's bad, because I'm the one who's supposed to be in control. I don't want to come over like this Steven Segal figure. One time, I was up against a stunt woman and she said 'make it real' and it landed way harder than it was meant to. Everyone in the room was like 'aaawww' you feel like a real a***hole, it's not an ego boost. I take it very seriously, so more people want to work with me."

Despite her physical skills, Gina is, perhaps understandably in the company of Fast and Furious veterans Michelle Rodriguez, Paul Walker and the indomitable Vin Diesel, palpably humble about her intern status in her adopted profession. This is despite having a quality spotted early on by an educated eye...

"I'd lost my last fight, and my agent called. I had a black eye, I didn't want to see anyone, and I didn't know who Steven Soderbergh was. But he had lunch with me, and just asked if I wanted to be in a movie. So I said, 'Yes.'

"But just as you get humbled every day you go to the gym, the same way, you get humbled every day you get to the set - two parallel worlds of adrenaline-like circumstances.

"Since then, I've taken acting classes. I've realized it's something you train for. Some days I walk away thinking 'Nooo' and sometimes I think 'Ah, I got something there.'"

Five-year movie veteran Luke seems far less worried about his place in the firmament. Instead, he sounds sufficiently oiled to get down and dirty with the best of them, including getting behind the wheel of the cars that are an integral part of the Fast and Furious franchise...

"As much as I'm able to, I love doing stunts, I think that's part of why I do films like this. We've been training for three months. We're going to Tenerife to do a big stunt next. It's great, gets the adrenaline going... I mean, you'd never do it otherwise, would you? Jump off a car that's moving down a motorway, can't do that in London... "



Fast & Furious 6 will be released on May 24, 2013 and stars Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, Dwayne Johnson, Jordana Brewster, Michelle Rodriguez, Tyrese Gibson, Sung Kang, Gal Gadot, Chris "Ludacris" Bridges, Luke Evans, Elsa Pataky, Gina Carano

For more info on the sixth installment of the series:

· Visit the official website
· Like Fast & Furious on Facebook
· Follow @FastFurious on Twitter#Fast6
· Follow @FastandFuriousMovie on Instagram
· Watch on YouTube
· Follow Fast & Furious on Google+

 

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The 100 Greatest Quotes From 'It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia'

February 27, 2013, 11:23 pm
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It's hard to believe that the hysterical FX series "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" has been on the air for eight seasons, with production of season nine underway. Series co-writer, producer and star Glenn Howerton (Dennis Reynolds) recently tweeted that the new season is "some of the funniest shit [they've] ever done." Looking back, we realized that is no easy feat. So in anticipation for the upcoming season, set to air in September 2013, we've gathered up the best catchphrases and one-liners from the gang and arranged them into the 100 greatest quotes from the show. Check them out and then dive into the comments section to laugh, rejoice and argue with us.

100. [Singing] You gotta pay the troll toll, if you wanna get into that boy's soul. -Frank



99. So you think not eating cat food is putting on airs? -Mac

98. We're trying to give you the Christmas spirit, dickhole! -Sweet Dee

97. Yippie-kay-yay, Mr. Falcon! -Frank
Mac, it's always sunny in philadelphia
96. Charlie, make a move. Just tell her you wanna bang her. -Mac

95. Mac, you have an exceptional number of bugs in your teeth. You're gonna wanna rinse those out. It's disgusting. -Dennis

94. Grain alcohol, baby! Whenever there's a potential riot, I'm getting blasted on grain alcohol. -Mac

93. Okay, Mr. Mayor. Feast your ears on that Spin Doctors mix. -Charlie

92. Dude, do you have a boner right now? -Dennis

91. Name's Artemis. I have a bleached asshole. -Artemis

90. And you know what happens with Tokyo drifting? It leads to bickering. Which, of course, leads to karate. -Mac

89. The acid's makin' me feel like I gotta take a dump. -Frank

88. Dude, I swear to God, if you try and give me a noogie, I will yank your underwear over your head so hard your asshole will rip in half. -Dennis

87. [Holding a calculator] What are you? -Charlie
dee, it's always sunny in philadelphia
86. Any amount of cheese before a date is too much cheese. -Dennis

85. [Reading a note from Charlie] Taked baby. Meet at later bar, night or day sometime. -Sweet Dee

84. Smoke some cigarettes. The smoke will suffocate the bacteria in your stomach. -Mac

83. Yeah, well, you've never once seen me wash my testicles either, but that doesn't mean I don't do it every Friday. -Charlie

82. Animals should be food, rugs and trophies. Why do you think I'm wearing a leather suit? -Frank

81. Goddammit, Jack Bauer. You really are the man. -Dennis

80. Dennis, you don't wanna go anywhere near a court. How many bench warrants for sexual misconduct do you have? Yeah, and Frank, how many unregistered guns are in your car right now? -Sweet Dee

79. Oh, look at me! The millionaire who goes to see doctors! -Charlie
Dennis, it's always sunny in philadelphia
78. I'm just saying, based on that story that you just told me, I'm fairly certain that those Santas were running a train on your mom for money. -Mac

77. Then start breakin' bricks, wet nips! -Liam McPoyle

76. That's Tammy, Trey's ex-girlfriend. This is classic Tammy. Trey broke up with Tammy because Maureen Kinallen said that she saw Tammy flirting with Walt Timby at a party. But she was only doing it to make Trey jealous because, you know, she thought that Trey secretly liked Erin Hannabry. But Trey didn't like Erin Hannabry. It was all a bunch of bull. -Charlie

75. RUM HAM! RUM HAM! I'm sorry rum ham! I'm sorry... -Frank

74. Mac, I'm gonna stop you right there. First of all, your breath smells like an old lady fart passing through an onion. Secondly, I know you're trying to manipulate me, and it's not going to work. Get your hand off my shoulder, because I've got a fatty to burn. -Sweet Dee

73. You're a stone cold fox, Margaret. You're a stone cold fox, and I want you. I gotta have you. I need you. I want you inside me. But you know that, don't you, Margaret? -Dennis

Frank, it's always sunny in philadelphia72. Oh, I get it. Cute. You leave this pen here and people are supposed to think, "Wait, that looks like a dick." -Mac

71. Well, I don't know how many years on this Earth I got left. I'm gonna get real weird with it. -Frank

70. Take a look at Rex here. That is a body that just won't quit. And I bet if you pop those pants off, you're gonna find a bird that just won't quit, either. And I think that'll come in handy in this situation. I think the problem here is that your body quit. Your bird quit. And, unfortunately, it's no longer legit. -Mac

69. Here's a confession: I'm in love with a man. What? I'm in love with a man. A man called God. Does that make me gay? Am I gay for God? You betcha! -Charlie

68. Hi. Um, I'm a recovering crackhead. This is my retarded sister that I take care of. I'd like some welfare, please. -Dennis

67. I'm not asking you to do much. Just turn a blind eye while I rob this place stupid. -Sweet Dee

66. How's that ass feel? [slaps Dennis in the ass] -Large Black Man in a Towel
Charlie, it's always sunny in philadelphia
65. Isn't that amazing? You ask to see a woman's breasts on the street, you get slapped. You give her a free t-shirt and videotape it, and the clothes come right off. -Mac

64. [In Boston accent] Ohhh, bet you read a lotta Gordon Wood, huh? You read your Gordon Wood and you regurgitate it from a textbook and you think you're wicked awesome doin' that, and how 'bout 'dem apples? And all that Gordon Wood business. -Charlie

63. You know what, Dee? I don't wanna hear about your dreams, okay? I hate listening to people's dreams. It's like flipping through a stack of old photographs. If I'm not in any of 'em and nobody's having sex, I just- I don't care. -Dennis

62. I mean, does my scar look like a dog's vagina? You know, maybe. I don't know. I'm not gonna sit here and try and get inside the mind of a dog. I mean, that's God's work. Well, not that I believe in God. I don't. Not since that Chinaman stole my kidney. -Rickety Cricket

61. Then, I'll just regress, because I feel I made myself perfectly redundant. -Charlie

60. [Reading Charlie's script] "Hello fellow American. This you should vote me. I leave power. Good. Thank you. Thank you. If you vote me, I'm hot." What? "Taxes. They'll be lower. Son. The democratic vote for me is right thing to do, Philadelphia. So do." -Dennis
Dennis, it's always sunny in philadelphia
59. Do not plug an open wound with trash. -Mac

58. It's fetish-fetish shit! I like to bind. I like to BE bound! -Dennis

57. I'm gonna pinch their dicks with this lobster. -Frank

56. This bar runs on trash, dude. This bar is totally green that way. -Charlie

55. Well, maybe you're a whore, you stupid, ugly, homeless bitch! -Sweet Dee

54. Okay, well, "Charlie work" is like, you know, like basement stuff, cleaning urinals, uh, blood stuff, your basic slimes, your sludges, anything dead or decaying. You know, I'm on it. I'm dealing with it. -Charlie

53. Bruce is not banging any baby dudes! -Sweet Dee

52. Oh, get a job? Just get a job? Why don't I strap on my job helmet and squeeze down into a job cannon and fire off into job land, where jobs grow on jobbies?! -Charlie

51. Wanna go get sweaty in the bathroom? -Frank

50. [Singing] I got the Lord. I got the Lord. I got the good Lord, he's goin' down on me. -Charlie

49. They're actors. They're trying to create an illusion. In the "Lord of the Rings" movie, Ian McKellen plays a wizard. You think he goes home at night and shoots laser beams into his boyfriend's asshole? I don't think so, dude. Tom Cruise is a midget, alright,Fat Mac, it's always sunny in philadelphia but he plays guys that are normal size in movies. -Mac

48. What is this word, spa? I feel like you're starting to a say a word and you're not finishing it. Are you trying to say spaghetti? Are you taking me for a spaghetti day? -Charlie

47. I'm not fat. I'm cultivating mass. -Fat Mac

46. Your mom doesn't know dick! She's a dumb, fat cow. And your sister, she's a stupid little shit-mouthed bitch, isn't she? -Sweet Dee

45. [Speaking like a radio host] TWO wars?! We're in the midst of two wars all at once--Now the United States of America is engaged in both of these wars? -Dennis

44. Roxy, God bless you. You were a good whore. You serviced me like no other whore ever did. Not only my crank, but my heart. And...I'm gonna miss ya. Amen. -Frank

43. You should have seen how passionate he got when I showed him the dick flyer. -Charlie

42. It involves pulling up our bootstraps, oiling up a couple of asses and doing a little plowing of our own. Pow!...Not gay sex. -Mac

41. Cat in the wall, eh?! Okay, now you're talking my language. -Charlie

40. I don't appreciate being paraphrased. Now, I choose my words very deliberately. -Mac

39. We're gonna get all in your face and point out your faults. -Sweet Dee

38. [Vietnamese music playing] This music sounds like whales raping each other. -Mac

37. Well, that's gonna be a problem; I laser. It's like a turtle's shell down there. -Dennis

36. Oh, shit. Look at that door, dude. See that door right there? The one marked "pirate?" You think a pirate Charlie, it's always sunny in philadelphialives in there? -Charlie

35. Fight Milk! The first alcoholic dairy based protein drink for bodyguards! -Mac

34. Later, boners. -Sweet Dee

33. I'm a...full-on rapist, you know? Uh, Africans, dyslexics, children, that sort of thing. -Charlie

32. Bite my bird. -Mac

31. Who am I supposed to vote for? Am I supposed to vote for the Democrat who's gonna blast me in the ass or the Republican who's blasting my ass? -Dennis

30. Paddy's shotgun, bro. You get blasted in the mouth! -Mac

29. I eat stickers all the time, dude! -Charlie

28. I'm not gonna be buried in a grave. When I'm dead, just throw me in the trash. -Frank

27. Later, dudes. S you in your A's, don't wear a C and J all over your B's. -Charlie

26. I hear the guy hangs dong and I'm very interested in seeing that. -Sweet Dee

25. THIS ISN'T OVER UNTIL I SAY IT'S OVER! -Charlie
it's always sunny in philadelphia
24. If you're in my room, you're always being filmed. -Dennis

23. See, I've always got an A, B and C strike plan to get us out of any potentially life-threatening situation. -Mac

22. 'Cause if the girl said "no," then the answer obviously is "no." But the thing is, is she's not gonna say "no." She would never say "no," because of the implication. -Dennis

21. Oh, you're definitely gonna end up doing gay porn with this tiny little body of yours. -Sweet Dee

20. I got my Magnum condoms; I got my wad of hundreds. I'm ready to plow. -Frank

19. Can I stop you, though? You keep using this word "jabroni." And...it's awesome! -Charlie

18. Everybody's dying, bitch. -Mac

17. Okay, listen. Listen, you remember that night at Dooley's pool party? On that fine summer eve, when I did that double jackknife twist and blew everybody's tits off. You remember that? And then I went down on Chrissy Orlando on the trampoline later that night? -Dennis

16. [Singing] I'm gonna rise up. I'm gonna kick a little ass. Gonna kick some ass in the U.S.A. Gonna climb a mountain. Gonna sew a flag. Gonna fly on an eagle. I'm gonna kick some butt. I'm gonna Mac, it's always sunny in philadelphiadrive a big truck. I'm gonna rule this world. I'm gonna kick some ass. I'm gonna rise up. I'm gonna kick a little ass. ROCK, FLAG AND EAGLE! -Charlie

15. Flush that turd down the drain! -Frank

14. I browned out that evening. -Mac

13. See you later, Dirt Grub and Ronnie the Rat. Hope you suck each other's rotten peckers until you get mouth cancer. -Sweet Dee

12. Boys are out tonight, huh? -Dennis

11. I will SMASH your face into a- into a jelly! -Charlie

10. So come on, you ol' son of a gun, and let Buster do a line off your boner. -Buster the Jockey

9. Oh, you unzipped me! It's all coming back! It's all coming back; I hate you! It's all coming back, you understand?! I DON'T LIKE IT! I DON'T LIKE TO THINK ABOUT IT! -Frank

8. [Singing] Dayman, fighter of the Nightman, champion of the sun, you're a master of karate and friendship for everyone. Dayman! -Charlie and Dennis


7. I will eat your babies, bitch! -Sweet Dee

6. I shoulda popped my shirt off. Goddammit, really shoulda popped that shirt off. -Dennis

5. Wildcard, bitches! Yee-haw! -Charlie

4. Yeah, we both got punked, Frank. We both got punked. These kids these days, I'll tell you what, they're nothing like we used to be back when we were in fraternities. They have no respect for anybody. Okay? They're like-they're like stupid little goddamn savages. I mean, I came in there, right, and I was polite and I was nice to them. I was cordial. And thecharlie, kitten mittens, it's always sunny in philadelphiay completely goddamn disrespected me, little IDIOTS! IDIOTS! I was completely respectful. They're supposed to be my brothers, right? They're my brothers? Nooo, no. That's not fun. What they were doing wasn't fun. They kept zapping us, and zapping us! IDIOTS! SAVAGES! IDIOTS! IDIOTS! -Dennis

3. Dennis, if I was looking for safe, I wouldn't be sticking my dick through a wall. -Frank

2. Is your cat making TOO MUCH NOISE ALL THE TIME? -Charlie

1. Hey-o! What's up, bitches! -MacIt's always sunny in philadelphia

 

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We're Big Fans of Fan Bingbing

February 28, 2013, 1:34 am
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Leonora Jimenez is Straight Up Sexy

February 28, 2013, 5:22 am
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Watch Lasagna Made Out Of Fast Food Items Get Blown To Smithereens

February 28, 2013, 7:29 am
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If you ask us, the only thing better than getting to eat a lasagna made out of burgers from In-N-Out, Burger King, and McDonald's, bacon, meat sauce made with Jack Daniels, cheese, and onion rings is getting to blow it up and watch it explode all over the place.

Thanks to our friends over at Tasted and their series "Taste Explosions", we all get to sit back and do just that without having to worry about any of the cleanup that goes along with it.

 

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The 10 Worst Bank Robbery Plans

February 28, 2013, 6:50 pm
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  • Thinkstock
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    A bank heist is kind of like the Super Bowl for criminals. It's where all the money is, after all. But robbing a bank is a little trickier than robbing a convenience store or a KFC. It typically takes some advance preparation. Sometimes these plans are clever and diabolical. Other times they're just idiotic. In this feature, we'll share ten of the worst bank robbery plans ever hatched by the criminal mind.

    Invisible Robbery, 2002

    Robbers have used many disguises to make their entrance as low-key as possible, but for one robber in Tehran, his "disguise" proved to be his undoing. The unnamed criminal was hoaxed by a self-proclaimed sorcerer who charged him five million rials (about $625 at the time) in exchange for making him completely invisible. The crook obviously didn't take the time to check his invisible self before rushing into a bank and trying to snatch money out of the hands of customers. Because he wasn't actually invisible, they quickly got the better of him and wrestled him down until police could arrive. It's not known whether the faux sorcerer was ever apprehended.

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    Rob a Closed Bank, 2011

    One of the most important parts of planning a bank robbery is learning everything you can about the bank - its hours, the layout, the security personnel on hand, etc. The best place to start, though, is probably verifying that the bank still exists. A German crook only known as Siegfried K. blew that part pretty hard when he tried to rob a bank in Osnabruck in May 2011. He stormed into the lobby and took a female hostage with a toy gun, demanding that tellers open the vaults and give him 10,000 euros. Unfortunately for him, the bank that once occupied the space had moved out 17 years ago. It was a physiotherapy center now. After Siegfried realized his mistake, he forced a passer-by to withdraw money from an ATM and fled the scene, only to be caught shortly after by the cops.

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    Be GPS Trackable, 2009

    They say that criminal behavior is habitual, but if you're already in trouble with the law you might not want to rob a bank too. Santa Clara scumbag Garry Lee Damon was arrested and convicted for assault with intent to commit rape in 2009 and cops fitted him with a GPS tracking device so they could keep tabs on his movements. He didn't care, obviously, and went out to rob a Citibank branch while wearing his GPS anklet. Needless to say, it was child's play for cops to tie him to the heist and put him away for a long, long time.

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    Rob Your Own Bank, 2002

    One cardinal rule of bank robbery is to pull your heist on a bank you can't be connected to. High school history teacher Alvin Jumpp from south Philadelphia didn't follow that rule. He robbed his own bank - the Mount Laurel Farmers & Mechanics branch - for $10,233 in April 2002. Then, he immediately went back in the same bank and deposited some of the money, including marked "bait bills," into his own account. When a teller recognized his voice, the cops quickly busted him. His students were shocked, noting that he'd always tried to steer them away from crime.

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    Use a Zucchini Gun, 1984

    You pretty much can't pull off a bank robbery without some kind of weapon, although people have tried. If you can't get your hands on a real firearm, it's common to use a realistic-looking toy one. But what if you can't even get one of those? White Plains, NY crook Walter Strong improvised by bringing a small zucchini in his pocket to a local Village Savings Bank. And no, he wasn't just happy to see you. He actually got away with $2,000, but blew his whole plan by showing a next-door neighbor the zucchini in his fridge. Strong was apprehended but actually managed to escape police custody three separate times before finally being put in jail.

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    Finish Your Beer, 2011

    One of the most important parts of a bank robbery is the getaway. You want to move yourself and your new cash as far away as possible as quickly as possible. For Florida robber John Robin Whittle, that was the part of his plan he cared the least about. One December day in 2011, Whittle stopped by the Hayloft Bar in Port Richey, ordered a beer, and drank half of it. He then stepped out, returning about a half hour later to finish the beer. While he was gone, he ran over to a Wells Fargo bank around the corner, robbed it of some cash, and realized he'd left his beer unfinished. Needless to say, the police busted him about ten minutes after he came back to the bar.

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    Use a Tree Disguise, 2007

    As we've mentioned, a good disguise is important for a successful bank robbery. You want to blend in and not draw too much attention to yourself so that eyewitnesses won't be able to give a clear description of you. James Coldwell of Manchester, NH robbed a bank in 2007 with a disguise that would have been better suited for hunting ducks. Coldwell walked into a Citizens Bank in Manchester slightly after opening with a number of tree branches duct-taped to his head and upper body and demanded that a teller give him cash. Befuddled by the weird sight before her, she did, and Coldwell escaped out the front door. Unfortunately, he didn't manage to blend into the foliage quite as well as he thought and somebody recognized his face and called the police.

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    Go Back for More, 2012

    That old adage about criminals returning to the scene of the crime is actually pretty much true. For some reason, bad guys love going back to where they did bad things. But for bank robber Arthur Brundage, that impulse was just part of a really lousy plan. In October 2012, Brundage walked into a Syracuse, NY bank and passed a teller a note demanding $20,000. Even though he didn't present a weapon, the teller put some money into a bag for him, and he left without incident. After he counted the cash, though, Brundage realized that the amount was a little short of 20 grand. So he then returned to the bank and attempted to get the rest. Needless to say, the police were already there and took him into custody.

  • Fairfield Police Department
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    Call Ahead, 2010

    The most essential part of any bank robbery is the element of surprise. Crooks need to get in and get out before the police can arrive on the scene or it's all over. So what idiocy could have possessed Connecticut criminal Albert Bailey to call in his own bank robbery? Ten minutes before hitting a bank in Bridgeport, Bailey called the financial institution and told them to put cash in a bag in the middle of the floor. He then sent an accomplice in to get the loot, and the pair attempted to make a getaway by car. Unfortunately for these time-sensitive criminals, the ten minutes advance warning gave cops plenty of time to get there and allowed bank employees plenty of time to hide an exploding dye pack in the bag. The two foolish crooks were promptly arrested.

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    Next: Celebrity Mug Shots

    Want to Get Caught, 2011

    Let's close this feature with what must be the most passive-aggressive bank robbery of all time. The end result of any successful bank robbery is to evade the cops with tons of cash in your hand. But James Verone had a different endgame in mind. The Gastonia, North Carolina man had been employed as a Coca-Cola truck driver for 17 years before losing his job. Suffering from chronic back pain and a mysterious lump on his chest, Verone walked into a Wells Fargo bank and passed a teller a note...demanding $1. Verone's plan was to get thrown in prison, where he could get the health care he needed but couldn't afford.

 

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Patient Dogs: A Photo Essay

February 28, 2013, 8:35 pm
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10 Great Films That Were Better Than the Book

February 28, 2013, 9:00 pm
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  • Twentieth Century Fox/Photofest
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    Books are great, and then they get made into bombastic blockbuster bullcrap that we live to resent for years. But on a rare occasion the tables are turned, and an original writing masterpiece is brought to life and outdone by its movie successor. Such films are rare, though, as this list of movies better than their books barely breaks double digits. With films like Baz Luhrmann's "The Great Gatsby" coming out this summer, you have to wonder if this trend will pick up or disappear altogether. Here are 10 movies that outdo the book.

    Fight Club (Chuck Palahniuk vs. David Fincher)

    Anybody who appreciates modern novelists no doubt has a soft spot for the writing style of Chuck Palahniuk. The witty, acclaimed wordsmith has a strong selection of novels, many of which have been green-lit for film due to the success of "Fight Club."

    Although his novel "Choke" fell drastically short in the movie box office compared to its predecessor, "Fight Club" was a huge success due mostly in part to its better-than-imaginable casting of Brad Pitt and Edward Norton as the fickle ordinary man and his alter ego, plus Fincher's take on insanity, insomnia and anarchy was so finely executed. And seeing Jared Leto get his ass kicked was probably what put it over the top for most viewers, especially on a very large screen.

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    Forrest Gump (Winston Groom vs. Robert Zemeckis)

    Any film featuring Tom Hanks aboard a watercraft at anytime is easily going to enrich our lives. No doubt his 1980s film repertoire was unmatched by any other actor (except for maybe Bill Murray), but his Academy Award-winning performance in 1994 as a simple man in a complex world stands on top.

    Winston Groom's 1986 character piece filled with endless adventures was eventually gripped a few years later by the Hollywood paws and turned into a touching, empowering rom-com. With the screenplay cutting off the rugged parts of its novel's pages, the film eventually became one of the highest grossing movies of the 1990s. Not to say that's what made it better, but it did.

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    Blow (Bruce Porter vs. Ted Demme)

    Although the true crime book offers a well-written exploration of the topsy-turvy life and times of an ambitious up-and-coming drug dealer, the recreation on the silver screen with Johnny Depp, Paul Reubens and Penelope Cruz makes the lifestyle seem pretty worthwhile, if you don't mind rotting away in jail for the rest of your lonesome days just to get down with the lady Cruz.

    Bruce Porter's original title "Blow: How a Small Town Boy Made $100 Million with the Medellin Cocaine Cartel and Lost It All" might have been a little long for billboards, but the story developed into one of the best-told character pieces of modern film. It's also quite possibly Depp's best performance to date (partly due to the lack of make-up and pirates).

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    Shawshank Redemption (Stephen King vs. Frank Darabont)

    It was between this and "The Green Mile" for this writer/director collaboration's top play. Both films are highly regarded prison features on the prisoner/guard relationship met with a few curveballs and top shelf actors.

    Darabont and King are both masters in their own right, but this film takes the cake as one of the '90s most beloved tales of friendship from behind bars with the dream of one day living freely again. This storyline has more or less been beaten to death ("Prison Break"), but this 1994 classic is the perfect way to lighten the mood when you realize you're going to prison for a very long time.

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    Psycho (Robert Bloch vs. Alfred Hitchcock)

    As with many classic films, people tend to get the book after they've seen the movie. With "Psycho," lots of people waited until they saw the film adaptation before getting the book, if they knew how to read at all. Some are still waiting for the illustrated version.

    Hitchcock took the 1959 novel and transformed it into one of the most classic horrors of film history in 1960. Later, Vince Vaughn would be cast in the remake, which although decent, was just another creepy role for him to go along with "Domestic Disturbance."

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    Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas (Hunter S. Thompson vs. Terry Gilliam)

    No one is knocking Hunter as a writer; he remains the man. His guns a' blazing, pill-popping novel "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas: A Savage Journey to the Heart of the American Dream" presents a win/win to the film world, as the whiskey-soaked scoundrel handed over page after page of wild rides.

    The trick of the film, however, was to end strongly, whereas the novel veered slightly off track. Still regarded as an incredible piece of writing material, Johnny Depp and Benicio del Toro show us the real thing up close and overly personal.

    If you didn't already hate Las Vegas and still want to go after seeing it, you're downright as mad of a man as Hunter himself, which he would regard as a true success.

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    Cloud Atlas (David Mitchell vs. Lana & Andy Wachowski and Tom Tykwer)

    No matter how good the writer, it's hard to put into words the cinematic genius presented in "Cloud Atlas," a love story of all-time...literally. Although the 2004 novel by David Mitchell did its best to encapsulate the timelessness of the soul mate concept and our ever-intertwined reincarnations, it fell short by presenting everything in a very dark, dismal light, like that of a 10-watt bulb in a prison cell.

    The film wins as it did a better job piecing together the age-old idea of love triumphing through a positive light, from the beginning of time to the post-apocalyptic future, starring Tom Hanks and Halle Berry. Since the movie got it right, teaching us that novels can actually be bettered by film, perhaps the new trend will be to remake novels, since they're running out of original movies to make.

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    The Shining (Stephen King vs. Stanley Kubrick)

    If any director had a shot at consistently breaking the mold of books being better, it'd likely be Stanley Kubrick, as "Lolita" and "The Clockwork Orange" are no slouches in this department either. Not just some random pick out of the Hollywood hat, the film was released in 1980, just three years after King's book release, an author Hollywood has put its trust in to get us through its lacking horror literary section.

    Although King has an unparalleled vision for horror with his words, Kubrick brings the pages into psychotic existence with the help of the wild and crazy Jack Nicholson. It's just a nice reminder that we can all wind up as kooky as Jack given a certain set of circumstances.

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    No Country for Old Men (Cormac McCarthy vs. The Coen brothers)

    Although McCarthy has a steady list of accomplishments in the mystery/thriller realm, nothing brings words off the page like the haunting stare of Javier Bardem in his Oscar-winning performance in "No Country for Old Men." The Coen brothers ("Big Lebowski," "Fargo") have a knack for sinking their teeth into screenwriting projects that come up smelling like roses. No offense to McCarthy, but if the Coen brothers are reworking your material, it's probably in better hands than before.

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    Next: 10 Most Underrated Comedies of the Past 20 Years

    The Godfather (Mario Puzo vs. Francis Ford Coppola)

    This is a classic example of why great writers should be more involved with the filmmaking process with great directors. Mario Puzo worked with Coppola in 1972 to adapt his 1969 novel for the big screen and came up big.

    Clearly not many people with working eyes and ears have a problem with this film, a work of art we like to think will stand the test of time and not deserve a reincarnation of the Hollywood crap factory anytime in the near future. But then again, they want to remake the "Back to the Future" trilogy, so you never really know with those clowns.

 

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These Photos Will Not End Well, Vol. 2

February 28, 2013, 11:58 pm
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23 Years Later: 23 Fun Facts About the "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" Movie

March 1, 2013, 12:01 am
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No, we aren't talking about the new film coming out in June 2014 from Michael Bay (with Megan Fox cast as April O'Neil). We are talking about the good one. The original. The one we have all seen and love. Most of us grew up with the "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" in one way or another, but this was the film that started it all. Now, we're aware of the fact that it is actually based on a comic book and that the even more popular 1987 cartoon series paved the way for it's success. In actuality, however, the film was supposed to come first. But due to its bizarre premise and dark, gritty tone (meant to be a direct adaptation from the comics originally), no studios in the U.S. wanted to invest, delaying the process several years. It's little tidbits of information like this that we are about to hurl at you with rapid fire succession in this piece that has everything you could possibly need to know about the 1990 "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" movie. Cowabunga!

1. As mentioned, no one wanted to make this movie. Even as filming began, it had not yet been picked up by a studio. It took months before New Line Cinemas finally signed a deal to buy it. And they were surely glad they did, as "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" became the highest grossing independent film ever (Budget: $13.5 million, Gross: $135 million), until being surpassed by "The Blair Witch Project" (Budget: $60,000, Gross: $140.5 million) nine years later.

2. Have you ever wondered why you or any of your friends never had toys from this film, but you did for its cartoon counterpart, as well as its sequels? It's because Playmates Toys declined to make figures based on the first film due to its violent nature, language and overall tone. However, once the sequels opted for a lighter feel, the toy company changed their tune as well, producing the "Movie Star Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" line.

3. There is a scene in the film where the Tatsu character goes nuts and beats up a bunch of his fellow Foot Clan. He beats one boy so badly that in the original script as well as the novelization, he is said to have killed him. However, sounds of the boy breathing, as well as people saying that he is alright, were added to the scene at the last minute because the movie ratings board objected to the death.

4. While Jim Henson was said to be upset by the amount of violence in the finished film, the turtle costumes were created by his Creature Shop in London. Henson said that the costumes were the most advanced that he had worked with at the time. His involvement in this film and the sequel "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze" probably explains why the Ninja Turtles were alluded to in "Muppet Babies," "Muppets Tonight" and "Dinosaurs," where a "Teenage Mutant Ninja Cavemen" poster could be seen hanging in the character Robbie's bedroom.

5. While most elements of the film are adapted from the comics, the turtles love of pizza, their multi-colored bandanas, April O'Neil being a news reporter instead of a lab assistant to a scientist, Michelangelo's surfer accent and "Cowabunga" all came from the 1987 cartoon series. Oh, what a glorious blend.

6. In the comics that the particular storyline was based on, it was actually Leonardo who was ambushed and beaten on the rooftops of New York City. In the film, it is Raphael. This was rectified and done according to the comics in the 2003 "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" animated series.

7. Even though the film is supposed to take place in New York City, it actually only shot there for four days. The remainder (and bulk) of the film was shot in Wilmington, North Carolina. April O'Neil's news station was actually a real news station in Wilmington, and the sewers were just a giant set. Even the fight sequence in the streets and on the rooftops at the end of the film was shot on a giant New York City set that was repurposed from the cult favorite "Big Trouble in Little China."

8. We all know the Raphael line "Cricket? Nobody understands cricket. You gotta know what a crumpet is to understand cricket." It is said during his big fight with Casey Jones in Central Park. However, the irony of that line is that, because they were filming in rural Wilmington, North Carolina, there actually were crickets everywhere chirping very loudly. If you listen closely, you can still hear loud cricket noise in the background, even though they were edited out as best as they could be (around the 50-second mark).

9. "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" was the first film edited by Sally Menke. That name may not be familiar, but she went on to be the editor and collaborator for all of Quentin Tarantino's films until she sadly passed away in 2010.

10. You'll notice that in the film, the character of Danny is always seen wearing a shirt with "The Sex Pistols" bassist Sid Vicious on it. This reflects the musical taste of director Steve Barron, who wanted a soundtrack with an indie/punk/"The Clash" vibe. Unfortunately, the producers wanted something more commercial, and that is why we got songs like "Turtle Power" instead (in which the lyrics don't even get the leader of the group right).

11. Judith Hoag, who played April O'Neil in the film, has said that she "was never satisfied with how [Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles] came out." It is said that she did not sign on for the sequels because of substantial edits to scenes involving her character.

12. During the conclusion of the film, the head thug (played by Sam Rockwell, believe it or not) tells police to "go check out the East Warehouse over at Lairdman Island." This is a shout out to the creators of the "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" comics: Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird.

13. Pizza Hut engaged in a $20 million marketing campaign to promote "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" by means of rebate coupons and print, radio and television ads. Ironically, Domino's is the pizza chain that the turtles are seen ordering in the film.

14. Speaking of Domino's, Michelan Sisti, who wore the Michelangelo suit for the film, also played the Domino's delivery man. Likewise, Josh Pais, David Forman and Leif Tilden, who wore the Raphael, Leonardo and Donatello suits respectively, also had minor roles in the film other than that of the turtles.

15. Every turtle besides Raphael had an actor wearing the suit, and a separate actor doing the voice (Josh Pais handled both for Raphael). Even the characters of Shredder and Tatsu had their voices dubbed over. Donatello's voice actor, Corey Feldman, was the most notable at the time.

16. The actors inside the suits all lost at least 20 pounds by the end of production due to the immense North Carolina heat and humidity. The fact that the suits were already very heavy and 60 pounds of animatronics were stored in the shell probably didn't help matters. In the scene where April's apartment catches ablaze, it got so hot for the actors inside the suits that they could only do one or two takes before having to move on. That's a lot of pressure, but they pulled it off.

17. It took three puppeteers to operate Splinter. The most notable of those three was Kevin Clash (the voice and puppeteer of Elmo from "Sesame Street"), who also voiced the character.

18. So many lines and scenes in the film, such as the Donatello/Casey Jones claustrophobia exchange, double as inside jokes. Josh Pais would occasionally get very claustrophobic inside his Raphael costume and need to have the crew come and pull his mask off. Unfortunately for him, it was not a fast or easy process.

19. Since there was a commercial flight path over the farm where a huge part of the film was shot, sometimes radio signals from the planes above would interfere with the facial animatronics of the turtle costumes, causing them to have involuntary spasms.

20. We know it's never manly to cry, but in the case of Splinter, it wasn't safe either. That's because the liquid used to give the appearance of Splinter's tears actually ate away at the latex underneath. Director Steve Barron had to fight with the Henson team to get them to use more in order to make Splinter's emotions seem more believable.

21. There was so much wear and tear to all of the turtle costumes that they were constantly being touched up. Whole new replacement limbs were kept on hand, as they had to be switched out quite often.

22. The turtle costumes were actually too big to fit through a standard-size manhole, so custom manholes had to be built. Another problem with the costumes was that it was very hard to see out of them due to the fact that the eye holes were just tiny slits beneath the masks, which you can see if you look close enough.

23. As with any movie involving complicated puppets and animatronics, there are bound to be mistakes involving the people running the creatures accidentally being caught on camera. "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" is no exception by a long shot.

 

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