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Georgia Man Robbed Homes Wearing Nothing But a Cowboy Hat

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The naked cowboy in Times Square sounds like a nice guy, making people smile by playing music and taking pictures. The naked cowboy accused of robbing several Georgia homes recently sounds like an asshole.
naked cowboy robbed Georgia homes wearing just a cowboy hat
According to WALB, Ashdon Gibbs was captured on a surveillance camera breaking into a John's Creek woman's home wearing nothing but a cowboy hat. He even came face to face with her teenage daughter but fled the house when she screamed.

As the woman called 911, Gibbs attempted to steal her motorcycle. Unsuccessful, he ran off into the distance. The woman said he was running pretty fast because he didn't have any clothes on so he had nothing to weigh him down.

The butt-ass naked man then broke into a house that coincidentally belonged to Bob Johnson, who told authorities the man made himself quite comfortable in his pad. Gibbs allegedly cracked open a cold one, listened to some Elvis on a vintage jukebox, sat in one of Johnson's chairs and watched an Atlanta Braves game.

No word on whether or not Johnson plans to destroy the chair that came into direct contact with Gibbs' twig and berries, but that's probably where we would start.

Need some more "naked man" news? 25 Very Hilarious 'Naked Man' News Headlines

 

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A Woman's Idea of a Good April Fools' Day Prank Was a Fake School Shooting

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Explaining to your mother why you adopted 16 cats or telling your friends in Milwaukee that Ryan Braun was busted for PED use again are two great examples of how to pull off the perfect April Fools' Day prank.
woman texts daughter there is a school shooting April Fool's Day
Texting your daughter that there is a school shooting in progress on the college campus where you are employed? Not so much.

According to FOX Carolina, 54-year-old Angela Timmons was arrested after texting her daughter that she and several coworkers were locked inside a room at Virginia College in Spartanburg, South Carolina, because they heard gunshots on campus.

Naturally, Timmons's daughter called 911 to report the shooting, and only after the police arrived did Timmons reveal that it was just an April Fools' Day joke.

Local authorities and a judge didn't find the prank that amusing and charged Timmons with two counts of unlawful use of a phone, one count of breach of peace and one count of disturbing schools. Bail was set at $18,000, or in other words, what a Virginia college graduate should expect to make at his or her first job.

However, the fact that Virginia College is located in a building that was probably originally a Walmart or supermarket is not a joke. That's really a picture of the Spartanburg campus.

Now this is how you pull off an April Fools' Day joke: The Most Epic April Fools' Day Pranks

 

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The First Tweets of Our Favorite Parody Twitter Accounts

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A couple weeks ago, Twitter released a new feature that lets you look up the first tweet of any Twitter account. We decided to use it to look up the first tweet of some of our favorite Twitter parody accounts to see where it all began. Enjoy.

 

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10 of the Craziest Cameos in Comic Books

20 Women You May Not Have Known Posed for Playboy

This Man Took a Chainsaw to the Neck and Lived to Tell About It

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Chainsaw to the neck xray

That is the X-ray of James Valentine. And yes, that is a chainsaw lodged in his neck. And yes, he is possibly the luckiest man in the world because he is still alive.

Valentine, a 21-year-old Pennsylvania man, sustained the injury at work with the Adler Tree Service in Gibsonia, which is north of Pittsburgh. He was performing standard maintenance work on a pine tree when his chainsaw "kicked back" on him. The blade dug deep into his neck and only the quick thinking of his co-workers saved his life.

After detaching the blade from its motor, Valentine's co-workers kept the blade and chains where they were and rushed him to the hospital. The blade missed the vital carotid artery by a mere centimeter. After an hour of surgery and 30 stitches, Valentine is recovering and in stable condition.

Via CNN

 

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The 16 Worst Hip-Hop Album Covers Ever

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Hip-hop music has always been about bragging and boasting. Who has the biggest chains. Who has the nicest cars. Who has bedded the most lovely ladies. It's not a genre known for its subtlety. It's about doing what you want, how you want, in the most over-the-top way possible. Nowhere is that more apparent than in these 16 ridiculous album covers.

worst rap album covers

worst rap album covers

worst rap album covers

worst rap album covers

worst rap album covers

worst rap album covers

worst rap album covers

worst rap album covers

worst rap album covers

worst rap album covers

worst rap album covers

worst rap album covers

worst rap album covers

worst rap album covers

worst rap album covers

worst rap album covers

 

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Celebrities Who Make the Same Face in Every Picture


Natalie Dormer From 'Game of Thrones' Goes Topless in GQ

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Most people know Natalie Dormer as the smoking hottie who plays Margaery Tyrell in HBO's immensely popular series "Game of Thrones." Others might recognize her from her work on "The Tudors" on Showtime.

And now thanks to GQ, you can say that you recognize her from the topless pics she took for their April 2014 issue.

Game of Thrones Natalie Dormer topless in GQ
Game of Thrones Natalie Dormer topless in GQ
Of course, if you want to see what's underneath her arms, you could always go back and watch Season 2 of "Game of Thrones." In fact, we highly recommend it.

2014 is shaping up to be quite the year for Dormer. Not only does she get to share the throne with an inbred false king, but she can also be seen in the next installment of "The Hunger Games," which will hit theaters this November. Now, find out how to date Natalie.


These women will see your topless and raise you one: 20 Women You May Not Have Known Posed For Playboy

 

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The Ultimate Movie Matrix

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We love charts. So it's only fitting that we make a chart that marries hyperbolic adjectives with movie genres that don't even really exist. Get ready for your jimmies to be rustled.

 

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Jess Molly Will Make You Feel Jolly

The Absurdities of the English Language Will Make Your Head Hurt

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But, in a fun way. Seriously, there are many strange aspects of the English language, and this fun Dr. Suessian video from AsapTHOUGHT does a great job at highlighting a lot of them. English is my first language, but I know that even I am still capable of messing it up bad (or is it badly? Or good? Goodly?).

 

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How To Recognize An Artist's Work For The Uncultured Man

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If you're like us, you'd rather watch a goat video on loop than go to an art museum. But, it couldn't hurt to at least pretend you have a little culture somewhere in that spacious skull of yours. You know, just in case you get dragged to an art museum unexpectedly. Thankfully, there's this handy guide to help you know which artists created whatever painting your lady is making you stare at.


H/T Blame it on the Voices

 

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Florida Man Faked Burglary So He Wouldn't Have to Go to Work

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Imagine what people like Dwayne Yeager could accomplish if they put just half the effort they exert coming up with and executing schemes to avoid working into actually going to a job and doing it. It's safe to say, at the very least, they wouldn't have mugshots pop up online when you type their names into Google Images.
man fakes burglary to avoid going to work
According to the Tampa Bay Times, Yeager called police on Monday to report a burglary at his residence in Brandon. The problem? There was no burglary because the 31-year-old fabrication worker fabricated the whole thing to get out of going to what apparently is a shitty job.

Yeager told police he came home to find his front door and windows wide open, and a white Honda Civic with a black fender was waiting at the street corner.

But when authorities interviewed neighbors and had a look at their surveillance cameras, they noticed Yeager's story had quite a few holes in it, namely the fact that he staged the whole thing. Yeager eventually confessed to making it up, adding he didn't know he could go to jail for lying about a robbery.

Well, apparently you can. And we're pretty sure that when Dwayne Yeager spends a night in a Tampa area prison, he'll probably wish he would have just gone to his crap job in the first place.

Maybe he'll share a cell with this guy: Florida Man Had Sex With His Pit Bull in Front of His Neighbors

 

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Today's Funniest Photos


Florida Woman Arrested After Pooping in Courthouse Elevator

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Hey, when you gotta go, you gotta go.

A woman who dropped a deuce inside a St. Lucie County Courthouse elevator is now facing a misdemeanor charge of "health safety injurious to health" after authorities identified her from surveillance camera footage.
woman poops in courthouse elevator
According to TCPalm, Patricia Ann Jamison entered the courthouse elevator on March 7 from the first floor, took it up just one floor and began walking to the family division. She then turned around, got back in the elevator, and appeared to "pull her pants down and back up toward the interior elevator buttons consistent with someone using the bathroom" before the doors closed.

Jamison allegedly took the elevator back down to the first floor and could be seen exiting while "fixing her pants and pulling her shirt out of her pants as if she pulled her pants up over her shirt."

Police were able to identify Jamison rather easily thanks to the pooper wearing zebra-striped pants and then walking into the public defender's office, where she signed her name in the courthouse log (haha) book.

While this story begs at least a dozen questions, we'll go ahead and ask the obvious one: "Who in the hell can pinch a loaf in the time it takes to ride the elevator just one floor?"

More fecal fun: Man Takes Dump in Background of Instructional Workout Video

 

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The Funniest GIFs of the Week

Where to Find Upcoming Big Festival Bands Outside of Big Festivals

This Hockey Player Tweeted the Grossest Injury Photo of All Time

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gross hockey player face injury
This is Grand Rapids minor league hockey player Mitch Callahan. He took a puck to the face in a game the other night and needless to say, the puck won that battle. The picture showing the damage is absolutely gruesome.

OK, now is your last chance to turn away.

You sure you want to see this?

OK, the choice is yours. Just make sure you grab a barf bag before you keep scrolling ...

Here is what his face looked like after the incident.

gross hockey player face injury

H/t Extra Mustard

 

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If Jurassic Park Had a Yelp Page

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OK, so an amusement park that features live dinosaurs maybe wasn't the best idea. But what would have happened if it had stayed open long enough for park patrons to submit Yelp reviews?

 

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