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These Folks Take Napping to the Next Level

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We don't know whether to be jealous of these guys (we could always use a nap) or impressed that they can fall asleep in any manner of fashion. Some people play hard; these people (and one dog) nap hard. At least they're committed.

nappers who nap hard
nappers who nap hard
nappers who nap hard
nappers who nap hard
nappers who nap hard
nappers napping

h/t Pleated Jeans

 

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Idaho Teacher Snaps Rabbit's Neck in Classroom

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A part-time high school teacher in Nampa, Idaho, trying to demonstrate how animals are processed for food might have demonstrated how to lose your job instead, after he killed and skinned a rabbit during a recent 10th-grade biology class.
Idaho teacher snaps rabbit's neck in classroom
According to Reuters, the teacher is a farmer who raises rabbits and other animals for food, and he was asked by his students to give a lesson on how animals are slaughtered and processed. So on November 6, the teacher did just that when he snapped a rabbit's neck and skinned it in the classroom.

School officials said the teacher excused any students who did not want to watch the "butchering," and some students chose not to be part of it. They also said the teacher did not consult them before killing the rabbit, adding the "killing and skinning of animals is not part of the 10th-grade biology curriculum."

The teacher has since "expressed his regrets" for the lesson, and it's unclear whether or not he will lose his job. One thing he does have going for him is that none of his students are rabbits.

Even if you're a sexy model, you can lose your job for killing animals: Teen World Cup Fan Who Became Model Already Fired for Hunting Photo

 

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The Funniest Obituaries Ever Written

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Most of the things you'll write in your life can be edited afterwards, but one exception is your obituary. It's your last chance to tell the world what you think, and unsurprisingly there have beeThe Funniest Obituaries Ever Writtenn some pretty awesome examples of people using their few inches of newspaper space to make us laugh.

William McCullough
An obituary is, in many ways, the last big brag you can do in the world. It's your last chance to prove just how awesome you were, and William "Freddie" McCullough was pretty damn awesome. The Bloomingdale, Georgia, man passed away in 2013 and his obit, published in the Savannah Morning News, was wall-to-wall badass. From bragging about his wheelie-popping skills on his Harley to his carpentry skills, it's quite the read. The best bit, though, discussed Freddie's romantic history: "There isn't enough space here to list all of the women from Freddie's past. There isn't enough space in the Bloomingdale phone book. A few of the more colorful ones were Momma Margie, Crazy Pam, Big Tittie Wanda, Spacy Stacy and Sweet Melissa."

The Funniest Obituaries Ever Written

Mary A. Mullaney
Many people use their obituaries as a way to pass along some wisdom to those of us surviving in their wake. Case in point: Mary Anne "Pink" Mullaney, who opened her 2013 obit with "If you're about to throw away an old pair of pantyhose, stop." Mary Anne's family went on to share many of her favorite household tips, including advice for getting a possum out of the shed (use a barbecue brush). She also always went to church with a chicken sandwich in her purse in case she got hungry. All in all, Pink seemed like a hell of a dame and her obituary reflects that.

The Funniest Obituaries Ever Written

Walter George Bruhl Jr.
Here's another good one from a dude who knew his time was coming and prepared a kick-ass obituary to go out with. Walter Bruhl Jr. was a technologist at DuPont who lived a full and entertaining life, and that was reflected in his obituary in the Delaware Cape Gazette. Opening up with a Monty Python riff, Bruhl then proceeded to talk about his wife "who will now be able to purchase the mink coat which he had always refused her because he believed only minks should wear mink," as well as his joining the military because of "Hollywood propaganda" and his desire to not have a funeral but instead be stuffed and posed in the corner, drink in hand.

The Funniest Obituaries Ever Written

Thurman Winston
When you read through the obituary of Thurman Winston, who died at the age of 57 in Spencer, Oklahoma, you might wonder where the laughs are. Well, his widow saved it all up for one final punchline. Rita Winston crafted a touching tribute to Thurman's life and interests, but at the end couldn't resist taking a swipe at some of his descendants. Apparently Winston's offspring weren't sufficiently respectful to their dear old Dad and Rita wanted to put them on blast. The obit concluded with the sentence "He leaves to cherish his wife, children and grand kids, a host of backstabbing motherf*ckers that still owe him money."

The Funniest Obituaries Ever Written

Count Gottfried von Bismarck
Most of the names on this list are pretty much nobodies who only got famous after they passed along. You can't say that for Count Gottfried von Bismarck, a member of German royalty who passed on in 2006. The official obituary from the Telegraph wasted no time, describing him in the first paragraph as "a pleasure-seeking heroin addict, hell-raising alcoholic, flamboyant waster and a reckless and extravagant host of homosexual orgies." Count Gottfried wasn't shy about his love of excess, and it shows in just about every paragraph of his obit, which features cross-dressing, severed pig heads and petty arrests among its tales.

The Funniest Obituaries Ever Written

Val Patterson
If you write your own obituary, you can use it as a chance to finally get some things off your chest that you couldn't do in life. And Val Patterson had a lot to get off his chest. The Utah man passed away of throat cancer in 2012 and left a hilarious and bizarre obit behind. In it, he confesses to stealing a safe from a local motel as a youth, a crime that had left police baffled. But the real kicker comes later, when Patterson admits that the PhD that he used to score electrical engineering jobs wasn't his--it was sent to him in the mail by mistake! He also mentioned that he was banned for life from both Sea World and Disneyland. Now that's a life well-spent.

The Funniest Obituaries Ever Written

George Ferguson
Many times, an obituary is a way for the surviving relatives of the deceased to come to terms with their loved one's complex life. Victoria, B.C., pastor George Ferguson had a life more complicated than most. When he passed on in July of 2014, his obit led off with "He'd gladly have stolen the shirt off your back" and went on to detail the many schemes and cons he pulled over the course of his life, mostly bankrolled by lonely women from his congregation. The obituary ends with his surviving relatives discovering the massive amount of credit card debt he racked up before his passing.

The Funniest Obituaries Ever Written

Antonia Larroux
When your obituary starts out with "Waffle House lost a loyal customer," you know you're in for a heck of a ride. St. Louis native Antonia "Toni" Larroux was a firecracker if her 2013 obituary is anything to go by. In just the first paragraph you learn that her ex-husband used to call her "Polio Legs" and that she wasn't really sure how many children she had. The laughs just kept coming throughout, including her wish that the smoking room at her old office be dedicated to her. Probably the best paragraph is the one about how she had the "ability with family pets to usher them toward heaven at an unrivaled pace." Here's hoping they were all up there waiting for you, Toni.

The Funniest Obituaries Ever Written

Kevin McGroarty
If there's one kind of person who could make an obituary sizzle, it's an advertising man. Kevin McGroarty was a veteran of the trade, and when he knew he was in his last days he took the time to write a hilarious obit to be published in the Pittsburgh Times-Leader. Starting with the headline "McGroarty Achieves Room Temperature," the obit mentions his crusade to promote "area midget wrestling" and the fact that he had no children (but if he did, he came up with very good names for them). The kicker is the curt reminder McGroarty left behind to his friends: "Please don't email me, I'm dead."

The Funniest Obituaries Ever Written

Marianne Johnson-Reddick
Let's close this out with an obit that traffics in some seriously black humor. From all accounts, Marianne Johnson-Reddick was a horrible excuse for a mother, so when she passed away in August of 2013 her children got together to pen probably the meanest obituary of all time. Appearing in the pages of the Reno Gazette-Journal, the obit opens up with "She is survived by 6 of her 8 children whom she spent her lifetime torturing in every way possible." Although it doesn't go into detail about Marianne's nasty habits, the level of vitriol on display is a good lesson that it's always nicer to be nice.

The Funniest Obituaries Ever Written

 

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Florida Man Wearing Bra Prevents Bank Customers From Using ATM

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Online banking has never looked better.

According to Huffington Post, police in Fort Pierce recently arrested a 33-year-old man who was blocking customers from using the ATM at a local bank.
Florida man wearing bra prevents people from using atm
But it wasn't the fact that Gregory Herndon was doing it while wearing just a jacket and a bra while riding a bicycle that got him pinched. When police arrived on the scene and asked Herndon to empty his pockets, he agreed, even though he had a crack pipe, a debit card that wasn't his, a bottle of pills that also wasn't his, two drug needles, brass wool and a pair of women's panties stashed in them.

The owner of the debit card and pills told police she knew Herndon had the items, but it wasn't clear if she was the proud owner of the bra he was sporting or the panties he had rolled up in his pocket.

Police apparently didn't care about who owned the panties as long as they weren't being used as a device to smoke crack and instead just charged Herndon with drug equipment possession and resisting an officer without violence.

This winner is also from Florida: Man Arrested for Masturbating in the Street

 

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Kevin Hart Tells Jameis Winston to 'Stop Doing Dumb S**t'

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Seriously, that's good advice.

According to TMZ, comedian Kevin Hart had a show at Florida State University over the weekend, so he decided to pay a visit to the Seminoles locker room while he was there. Let's just say that nothing was off limits when he came face-to-face with quarterback Jameis Winston.

The reigning Heisman Trophy winner has been all over the news since his arrival to campus thanks to a video that surfaced of him stealing crab legs from a local supermarket, a pellet gun shootout at an apartment house, accusations of rape, allegedly drinking soda from a Burger King fountain machine without paying for it, jumping on a table inside the Florida State Student Union and yelling this guy's tagline, and possibly accepting cash for autographs.

In other words, Kevin Hart pretty much nailed it with, "You need to stop doing dumb shit."

It's official. Kevin Hart is hysterical: Conan O'Brien, Ice Cube and Kevin Hart Share a Lyft Ride

 

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We Can't Get Enough of Alissa Arden This Month

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Alissa Arden is at it again as Playboy's way-too-hot-for-your-computer-screen Cybergirl of the Month. Blonde, beautiful and not the least bit afraid to let loose and strut her stuff, these are the things we love about Alissa and her many revealing outfits in this latest Playboy Plus release. The video doubles as the trailer of a full-length film we'd love to see with anything from sexy evening wear to hard-to-swallow outfits fit for the bedroom. Alissa does it all in just over 70 seconds, but she won't be doing it for Playboy Plus much longer. So check out Alissa with Playboy quickly, or at the very least, check out this sweet interview Mandatory did with her recently.

 

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Brianne Howey Shows Off in the Hollywood Hills for Maxim

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Brianne Howey is keeping the summer alive from Hollywood with Maxim Magazine in their first videos in a few months. Blondie Brianne goes through a number of sexy swimsuits that could double as lingerie for any guy in an infinity pool across the beautiful Los Angeles landscape. From white one-pieces to sexy black and red bikinis, Brianne makes sure to save the best for last, so make sure you stick around until the very end. We'll give you a hint: they're hard, red and will make you watch the clip again at least another three or four (hundred) times.

 

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Vacation Boobs Might Be Available by 2016

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Imagine being able to enlarge your breast size by a "whole cup to a cup and a half" for two to three weeks and then crying as you watch them shrink back to what they were before you had the procedure done.

According to Newser, that is a scenario that could play out for women as soon as 2016.

vacation breasts could be reality by 2016
Plastic surgeon Norman Rowe says he is close to taking his InstaBreast--a procedure that enlarges a woman's jugs for 24 hours--to the next level by injecting his patients with a "saline solution with an additive that's already used in medical circles for other reasons."

Rowe thinks the new procedure will not only benefit those women who are looking to fill their bikinis on vacation or impress at a wedding or class reunion, but also those who are thinking about getting a permanent set of fake breasts and want to first "see what the weight will actually feel like and what it will be like to live with the new breasts."

Call us crazy, but it seems like in the end, men are going to be the real winners here.

Here's a woman who surprisingly might be one of Rowe's first customers: Australian Model With Size 8M Boobs is Considering Upsizing Them

 

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Steve Harvey Talks About the Worst Answers From 'Family Feud'

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We've all seen poor Steve Harvey listen to some pretty ridiculous answers as the host of "Family Feud." Hell, just last month, Harvey had to listen to a woman answer "his penis" when she was asked to name one part of her husband's body that she would change.

But the only reactions we ever get from Harvey are the ones we see on television or YouTube, so it was a real treat when he stopped by the set of "Late Night With Seth Meyers" Monday night to discuss what he thought about some of the worst answers he has ever heard. And because he's Steve Harvey, he didn't disappoint.


We've seen and heard a lot of stupid answers through the years, but we agree with Steve. When some dude was asked to name a word or phrase that begins with pork and he answered "cupine," it had to be near the top of the list of dumbest things ever said on the show.

Here are just some of the other crazy answers Harvey has had to deal with during his stint as host: The Craziest Answers in 'Family Feud' History

 

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Probably The Luckiest Half-Court Shot You Will Ever See

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We've all heard the phrase, "It's better to be lucky than good," but it usually only applies to the Jonas Brothers finding work.

Well, a Gonzaga student named Brad just threw his name into the hat.

According to SB Nation, Brad won a contest that gave him the chance to win $500. All he had to do was hit a half-court shot during Monday night's game between the No. 22 SMU Mustangs and the No. 13 Gonzaga Bulldogs.

Obviously, Brad hit the shot, but before it went in, it first hit the top of the backboard and bounced roughly 15 feet into the air before finding its way through the net.


Brad's lucky shot not only filled his pockets with enough cash to buy Domino's for the rest of the school year, but it also earned him a "SportsCenter" Top 10 nomination. And that might have been enough to ensure he got lucky off the court as well.

Brad's half-court shot was one of the most amazing things we've ever seen. This was pretty much the exact opposite: Probably the Worst Half-Court Shot Attempt Ever

 

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Guy Comes Up With 101 Different Uses For His Ex-Wife's Wedding Dress

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When your ex-wife tells you to do whatever the f**k you want with her dress from your wedding, it pretty much means it's just gonna end up in the trash. That wasn't the case with Kevin Cotter, however. This hero among men decided to use it in his daily life, slowly destroying it in the process. He started a blog called my Ex-Wife's Wedding Dress and he even published a book with the entire 101 uses to document the entire thing. They get more hilarious and more creative as you scroll down.
(h/t Distractify)
An Apron
Ex Wifes Wedding Dress

A Strainer

A Bib

A Coffee Filter

A Fisherman's Net

A Banner at an Arizona Wildcats Game

A Jump Rope

A Kite

A Dog Bjorn

A Shower Curtain

 

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Today's Funny Photos

10 Ads For Milk That Are More Effective Than The Actual Ones

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Can someone please explain to me why there are ads for milk? Who was unaware of this product? It's literally the first thing you drink when you emerge from the womb. So who exactly are the commercials geared towards? Reptiles? Since the milk people insist on sticking with the same advertising format, we thought we'd give them ten more effective ads for milk. These are much more honest and much more informative than Got Milk?

Effective Milk Ads funny, funny milk ads, got milk funny







'

 

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The Greatest Fu Manchu Mustaches in Film and TV History

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As we all know, it's the peak of Movember, an annual effort designed to raise money and awareness for men's health by letting your cookie duster grow wild for the entire month of November. In the spirit of the occasion, we've decided to honor the manliest of muzzies--the fu manchu--with a gallery of some of the most famous to grace both the big and small screen. So strap yourselves in for an awards ceremony celebrating our favorite variations of the ol' face horseshoe, complete with their own nicknames which we feel suit them perfectly.

"The Icon"
Thunderlips (played by Hulk Hogan) in "Rocky III" (1982)
greatest tv film handlebar mustaches, thunderlips hulk hogan


"The Metaphor" (for 'Definitely Hiding Something')
Abraham Ford (played by Michael Cudlitz) on "The Walking Dead"
greatest tv film handlebar mustaches, abraham ford michael cudlitz


"The Rockstar Chu"
Derek Smalls (played by Harry Shearer) in "This Is Spinal Tap" (1984)
greatest tv film handlebar mustaches, derek smalls harry shearer


"The Badass Mother Fustache"
Jules Winnfield (played by Samuel L. Jackson) in "Pulp Fiction"
greatest tv film handlebar mustaches, jules winnfield samuel l jackson


"The Overcompensator"
Ryder (played by John Travolta) in "The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3" (2009)
greatest tv film handlebar mustaches, ryder john travolta


"The Thunder Stealer"
Bud Carter and Jesse Weiland (played by Willem Dafoe and Matt Dillon) in "Bad Country" (2014)
greatest tv film handlebar mustaches, bud carter jesse weiland willem dafoe matt dillon


"The Grumpy Old Man"
Gus Witherspoon (played by Wilford Brimley) on "Our House"
greatest tv film handlebar mustaches, gus witherspoon wilford brimley


"The Obvious '70s Drug Dealer"
Reese Feldman (played by Vince Vaughn) in "Starsky & Hutch" (2004)
greatest tv film handlebar mustaches, reese feldman vince vaughn


"The Even More Obvious '80s Undercover Cop"
Sonny Crockett (played by Colin Farrell) in "Miami Vice" (2006)
greatest tv film handlebar mustaches, sonny crockett colin farrell


"The Slacker Cop"
Officer Michaels (played by Seth Rogen) in "Superbad" (2007)
greatest tv film handlebar mustaches, officer michaels seth rogen


"The Junkyard 'Stache"
Lamont Sanford (played by Demond Wilson) on "Sanford and Son"
greatest tv film handlebar mustaches, lamont sanford demond wilson


"The White Trash 'Stache"
Stuart McCormick (voiced by Matt Stone) on "South Park"
greatest tv film handlebar mustaches, stuart mccormick matt stone


"The Intimidator"
Hal L. (played by Ben Stiller) in "Happy Gilmore" (1996)
greatest tv film handlebar mustaches, hal l ben stiller


"The Perfect Douchebag"
White Goodman (played by Ben Stiller) in "Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story" (2004)
greatest tv film handlebar mustaches, white goodman ben stiller


"The Distractor" (in literally every scene)
Lionel McCready (played by Titus Welliver) in "Gone Baby Gone" (2007)
greatest tv film handlebar mustaches, lionel mccready titus welliver


"The Danny Being Danny"
Machete (played by Danny Trejo) in "Machete" (2010)
greatest tv film handlebar mustaches, machete danny trejo


"Cat 'Stache Fever"
Tiger (voiced by Dom DeLuise) in "An American Tail" (1986)
greatest tv film handlebar mustaches, tiger dom deluise


"The Cool Bartender"
Isaac Washington (played by Ted Lange) on "The Love Boat"
greatest tv film handlebar mustaches, isaac washington ted lange


"The Cool Surgeon"
Trapper John McIntyre (played by Elliott Gould) from "M*A*S*H"
greatest tv film handlebar mustaches, trapper john mcintyre elliott gould


"The Typecastinator"
Sam Elliott in just about everythinggreatest tv film handlebar mustaches, sam elliot


"The 'Where's His Face?'"
Yosemite Sam (voiced by Mel Blanc) from "Looney Tunes" cartoons
greatest tv film handlebar mustaches, yosemite sam mel blanc

"The Original"

fu manchu

 

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The 10 Longest NHL Games Ever Played

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Hockey fans will tell you that there is only one thing better than playoff hockey: overtime playoff hockey. Since playoff hockey games can't end in a shootout (or a tie back in the day), the ten longest games in the history of the sport have all been of the playoff variety. The majority of them have lasted longer than an average Kevin Costner movie, and that's saying something.

10. April 18, 1987 - New York Islanders 3, Washington Capitals 2
longest hockey games, longest nhl games of all time
Making things even that much better for the paying customer was the fact that this was Game 7 of the Islanders-Capitals opening round playoff series. Dubbed the "Easter Epic" because the game actually ended on Easter Sunday despite starting on Saturday night, the teams played 68 minutes and 47 seconds of overtime hockey alone before New York's Pat LaFontaine's slapshot got past Washington goalie Bob Mason for the win. (Photo credit: Bruce Bennett Studios/Getty Images)


9. March 28, 1930 - Montreal Canadiens 2, New York Rangers 1
longest hockey games, longest nhl games of all time, gus rivers
Fans were actually "disgusted" with the fact that it took almost 69 minutes of extra hockey to decide the first game of the best-of-three semifinal. Montreal's Gus Rivers beat Rangers goalie John Ross in the fourth overtime period, and Montreal wouldn't lose a game in this series or the next to claim Lord Stanley's Cup. (Photo credit: Wikimedia Commons)


8. May 4, 2008 - Dallas Stars 2, San Jose Sharks 1
longest hockey games, longest nhl games of all time
We're assuming a lot of people in Dallas didn't make it to the office on May 5 because of this puppy. The game lasted a total of 129 minutes and three seconds and ended early Monday morning when Brenden Morrow beat San Jose's Evgeni Nabokov on a power play and propelled the Stars into the Western Conference Finals. (Photo credit: Ronald Martinez/Getty Images)


7. March 23, 1943 - Toronto Maple Leafs 3, Detroit Red Wings 2
longest hockey games, longest nhl games of all time
The Leafs and Red Wings played more than 70 minutes of overtime hockey in this epic game before Toronto's Jack McLean scored the game-winner. Toronto would win the game, but the Red Wings would win the series and the Cup. (Photo credit: Wikimedia Commons)


6. April 11, 2007 - Vancouver Canucks 5, Dallas Stars 4
longest hockey games, longest nhl games of all time
In the first game of their opening round playoff series, the Stars and Canucks combined for eight goals in the first 54 minutes of play. They went more than 84 minutes without scoring another before Henrik Sedin - on an assist from his identical twin brother Daniel - beat Marty Turco for the game-winner. Vancouver goalie Robert Luongo set a record for most shots faced in a playoff game. That was a much better showing than his next overtime appearance, where he missed three minutes of the period because of diarrhea. (Photo credit: Richard Rees/Getty Images)


5. April 24, 1996 - Pittsburgh Penguins 3, Washington Capitals 2
longest hockey games, longest NHL games ever
The great Mario Lemieux was actually ejected in this one for fighting and slashing, and that's lame. I mean, who ejects Mario Lemieux in a playoff game? Six periods later and at the 139:15 mark of the game, only a few thousand fans left in the stands witnessed Pittsburgh's Petr Nedved notch a power play goal and even the best-of-seven conference quarterfinals series at two games apiece. (Photo credit: YouTube)


4. April 24, 2003 - Mighty Ducks of Anaheim 4, Dallas Stars 3
longest hockey games, longest nhl games of all time
Yup, when Disney still owned the Ducks, that was their real name. The Ducks swept the defending champion Red Wings in their opening round series and then kicked this series off with an epic five-overtime victory that saw more than two hours, forty minutes of ice time. The Ducks would win the game, the series and damn near the Cup, losing to New Jersey in seven games. (Photo credit: Brian Bahr/Getty Images/NHL)


3. May 4, 2000 - Philadelphia Flyers 2, Pittsburgh Penguins 1
longest hockey games, longest nhl games of all time
More than 152 minutes of ice time was needed for these two rivals to settle Game 3 of the 2000 Eastern Conference Semifinals. Philadelphia's Keith Primeau's goal at the 12:01 mark of the fifth overtime period sealed it for the Flyers, and they would go on to win the next two games as well. But if it makes Penguins fans feel any better, the Flyers would blow a 3-1 lead in the Eastern Conference Finals against New Jersey. (Photo credit: YouTube)


2. April 3, 1933 - Toronto Maple Leafs 1, Boston Bruins 0
longest hockey games, longest NHL games of all time, ken doraty
Eighty years before Boston beat Toronto in an epic Game 7 overtime thriller, fans waited what must have felt like 80 years just to see one goal in this game. It took 164 minutes, 46 seconds of ice time before Toronto's Ken Doraty found the net in the sixth overtime period. The winning shot sent the Leafs to the Stanley Cup Finals, which must have sent the dozens of fans remaining into a frenzy. (Photo credit: Hockey Then & Now)


1. March 24, 1936 - Detroit Red Wings 1, Montreal Maroons 0
longest hockey games, longest nhl games of all time, mud bruneteau shot Even crazier than a team having the nickname "Maroons" is the name of the guy who scored the only goal in this famous overtime game: Mud Bruneteau. The two teams played more than 176 minutes of scoreless hockey in Game 1 of the first round before Brunteau slipped one past the goalie in the sixth overtime period. If the people of Montreal were "disgusted" about four overtimes three years earlier, then they probably needed a curse word to describe this one. (Photo credit: UPI/Imageslides)

 

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Are You Middle Aged? A Flowchart

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Age sneaks up on all of us. One minute, you're listening to the hottest new music and dressing like the cool and attractive people on TV; the next, you're too tired to go out on a Friday night and you're wearing socks with Tevas. Yep, you're slowly creeping towards middle age. But just to clarify if you're totally there yet, answer these simple Yes or No questions to find out.

are you middle aged flowchart

 

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Guy Texts Girlfriend 6 Hilarious Reasons Why He's Breaking Up With Her

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We don't know who Bobo is, but this poor S.O.B. had enough of his girlfriend's ways, and he let her know six very specific reasons why he had to break it off. Originally tweeted by Amy Nelmes, the text below was apparently sent to her girl friend after seven weeks of dating. A lot of attention is being focused on #3, but this guy may have deeper issues than just being a crazy cat person.

funny breakup text, 6 reasons for breaking up
h/t Yahoo

 

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Today's Funny Photos

25 TV Screenshots That Practically Write Their Own Jokes

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Daytime TV brings out the wackiest antics. No one watches it, except for old people and unemployables, so mistakes and hijinks ensue. Here are some of the best.

25 TV Screenshots That Write Their Own Jokes, The White Ho
The only one.


25 TV Screenshots That Write Their Own Jokes, bad math
193 percent support them.


25 TV Screenshots That Write Their Own Jokes, tacos
What? Tacos are good.


25 TV Screenshots That Write Their Own Jokes, wrong map
Whatever, same thing.


25 TV Screenshots That Write Their Own Jokes, funny name
And one guy laughed hysterically from his grandma's basement.


25 TV Screenshots That Write Their Own Jokes, holocaust winner
That seems like an incredibly horrible contest to win.


25 TV Screenshots That Write Their Own Jokes, mike litoris
Sounds like a Greek name.


25 TV Screenshots That Write Their Own Jokes, obsessed with pooping
Who isn't?


25 TV Screenshots That Write Their Own Jokes, sex and weather
She's got one thing on her mind ... and it ain't weather.


25 TV Screenshots That Write Their Own Jokes, fatally murdered
He was murdered fatally.


25 TV Screenshots That Write Their Own Jokes, penguinologist
But he also dabbles in flamingology.


25 TV Screenshots That Write Their Own Jokes, confronting fear of chickens
Terrifying.


25 TV Screenshots That Write Their Own Jokes, rapist search
A classic.


25 TV Screenshots That Write Their Own Jokes, hyman shocker
The greatest generation with the greatest names.


25 TV Screenshots That Write Their Own Jokes, clint
Inappropriate language.


25 TV Screenshots That Write Their Own Jokes, kick a ginger day
A new wacky holiday.


25 TV Screenshots That Write Their Own Jokes, lindsay lohan
+1 Comcast.


25 TV Screenshots That Write Their Own Jokes, comcast
+2 Comcast.


25 TV Screenshots That Write Their Own Jokes, child safety tips
Take a seat, right over there.


25 TV Screenshots That Write Their Own Jokes, sex for a hair weave
The things we do for love ...


25 TV Screenshots That Write Their Own Jokes, sports pun
A little dab of humor.


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A regular Casanova.


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No.


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Invent what you know.


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For shame.

 

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The 10 Most Memorable Sets of TV Roommates

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Whether we find them on Craigslist, through a trusted reference, or from our own personal friendships, roommates--for better or worse--prove an important factor in our lives. And though their cleaning habits, excessive presence, or fondness for our groceries can cause conflict, sharing a home life together can come with many satisfying benefits as well. On TV, we have gotten to know pairings, triplings and even quadruplings sharing their living spaces together. Here are 10 of the most memorable TV roommates (and one you may have never known about) who showed us cohabitation can be a true art form.

Joey Tribbiani and Chandler Bing - "Friends"
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Sometimes it's hard to live with your best bud. But although they had their share of ups and downs, Joey and Chandler definitely made it work. While Joey struggled as an actor and Chandler struggled with his WENUS, collectively they kept the home fires burning. With not just a little help from "Baywatch."

The ultimate 90's sitcom (officially Seinfeld began in 1989) had the ultimate TV roommates. What will be a recurring theme of this list, Joey and Chandler could not have been more different. But through all their trials and Tribbianis -- home robberies, love triangles, and the ultimate deliberately opposite retaliation to hiding the others' clothes -- their love for both one another and their cherished friendship always brought this fine bromance to a joyful resolution. (Photo credit: Warner Bros./Photofest)


Monica Geller and Rachel Green - "Friends"
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Right across the hall from Joey and Chandler lived Monica and Rachel, another solid pair of TV roommates. The ladies lorded over the heart of the "Friends" universe, Apartment 20. Controversially superior to the boys' Apartment 19, and one that would by all accounts cost a fortune in NYC rent - the balcony with the obstructed entrance could add hundreds and hundreds of dollars to its cost alone - here was where all the friendliest, funniest antics would take place each week.

Though the differences between them were not as stark as Joey and Chandler, Monica and Rachel's personalities were definitely divergent. Rachel was a bit breezy and spontaneous, while Monica was an obsessive perfectionist with a shameless competitive streak. But all seemed fun and games in the ladies apartment, and though the home team players shifted a bit when Monica and Chandler fell in love and married, the frenzied "Friends" action that audiences adored for ten seasons never skipped a beat. (Photo credit: NBC/Photofest)


Ernie and Bert - "Sesame Street"
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If you really want to know the ABC's of roommate cohabitation, look no further than Ernie and Bert. Encouraging the others' bottle cap collection and predilection for pigeons or relinquishing one's own nose for the completion of a sculpture are all model lessons to be learned by current and future roommates of all stripes. Lessons with a capital L.

While Bert's frequently furrowed eyebrow elicits throaty giggles from Ernie more times than you can count, opposite personalities finding harmony and mutual respect in the same household during both bad times and playtimes is what it's really all about. Sure their sexuality has often been called into question, but if you've lived with the same guy in the same bedroom since the '60s, that's bound to happen. (Photo credit: PBS/Photofest)


Jack Tripper, Janet Wood, and Chrissy Snow - "Three's Company"
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Also not gay was Jack Tripper, but in order to keep residence with fellow heterosexuals Janet and Chrissy, he had to pretend to be to ever-present landlords Mr. Roper and then Mr. Furley. Way before its metamorphosis into Silicon Beach, Santa Monica was best known as the mailing address delivering the fantastic farce this scenario (and others) would create every week on "Three's Company."

For eight seasons hers and hers and his modest two bedroom/one bath became the epicenter of more hilarious misunderstandings than Kim Kardashian would find at any institution of higher learning. You could knock on their door, you could dance on their floor, and you could count on a steady dose of good, clean, sexually suggestive comedy from this trio of roomies (and its latter seasons' iterations) with jokes and stumbles that flew in your face as furiously as a swinging kitchen door. (Photo credit: Photofest)


Mindy McConnell and Mork - "Mork and Mindy"
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One might assume that living with a foreigner could create its own set of awkward situations. Living with a manic alien from an uncharted planet however, is a recipe for true chaos. Spun off from the '70s coolest show "Happy Days," "Mork and Mindy" may not have been the best sitcom to ever land on earth, but it introduced the world to the biggest, brightest talent, Robin Williams. And now, only after the death of this comic genius, we realize that the boundaries he broke from the confines of this small show were gigantic in terms of television's trajectory.

Set in Colorado, Mindy takes Mork in as he sets his sights on learning all about this strange, new planet Earth. Will They or Won't They flowed through the course of the series and finally they did, and married, and gave birth to Jonathan Winters. By that point audiences had mostly ejected themselves from viewership, but the impact of "Mork and Mindy" at that time in history was indisputable and its contribution to our popular culture still holds, with or without the aid of rainbow suspenders. (Photo credit: ABC/Photofest)


Oscar Madison and Felix Unger - "The Odd Couple"
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The ultimate TV odd couple roommates were, well, "The Odd Couple." First an acclaimed Broadway comedy and then acclaimed film adaptation in the '60s, the concept was repurposed once more for the small screen to usher in the '70s. Though heavyweights Walter Matthau, Art Carney and Jack Lemmon, who appeared in the stage or movie versions (or both!), left large shoes to fill, actors Jack Klugman and Tony Randall stepped up and made the TV versions of Oscar Madison and Felix Unger their undeniable own.

Usually the careless slob of a roommate who left discarded dirty dishes, dirty clothing, ashes, and stubbed cigars about the shared space would be the annoying one. But it is Tony Randall's Felix in all his neurotic, immaculate, finicky glory who won that title decisively. Felix's divorce and subsequent breakdown catapulted him right into Oscar's hands, and for five seasons the slovenly sportswriter hilariously did all he could to keep them from wringing his unwanted roommate's neck. (Photo credit: ABC/Photofest)


Charlie, Alan, and Jake Harper - "Two and a Half Men"
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Divorce is also the impetus for this next unlikely roommate combination and brothers Charlie and Alan Harper both make a respectable modern day Oscar and Felix respectively. Add Alan's young son Jake to the mayhemic mix and you've got "Two and a Half Men."

Charlie's hedonistic home is no place for a child, but that doesn't keep suddenly single father Alan from raising his son in this den of iniquity. Though growing up in a beach house in Malibu dripping with women and booze would be any kid's dream come true. But it is Charlie and Alan's ongoing sibling rivalry that brings about most of the comedy in this raunchy sitcom where being too close for comfort with your family creates all sorts of trouble. Just like in real life. (Photo credit: CBS/Warner Bros./Photofest)


Larry David and Leon Black - "Curb Your Enthusiasm"
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Divorce, aborted nuptials and interstellar travel are all circumstances that have brought some of our TV roommates together thus far. In the case of "Curb Your Enthusiasm's" Larry David and Leon Black, it was a natural disaster. Hurricane Edna left the Black family homeless, and through the goodness of Larry's wife Cheryl's philanthropic heart, the couple took them all in. And although Leon lived in LA at the time and was technically not displaced by any storm he moved in too.

Leon came along when Larry needed him most. Cheryl would soon end the David's marriage, pulling the rug right out from Larry and leaving him completely unprepared how to navigate life as a single man. But Leon had all the answers, which usually consisted of lots of expletives. It became Leon's mission to put Larry back together as a man. And to never move out of Larry's phat accommodations. With Larry's wealth and access and Leon's street sensibilities the pair become a true Hollywood fight-the-power couple. (Photo credit: Courtesy of HBO)


Vincent Chase, Eric Murphy, Johnny "Drama" Chase and Salvatore "Turtle" Assante - "Entourage"
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Why keep LA roommates to a coupling when you can pull off a whole "Entourage"? Vincent, Drama, Eric and Turtle lived the Hollywood dream together in whatever mega-mansion they happened to be paying astronomical rent for that particular season. Theirs was a high life of fast cars, fast women, and lots of marijuana. A charmed life that made the rest of us working stiffs seriously consider becoming an actor, or at least driving one around.

Sure, complex problems came the boys' way but they always seemed to effectively wiggle out of all of them without a scratch. Kind of like the long unexpected journey in "The Hobbit" over and under the Hollywood Hills. (Photo credit: HBO/Photofest)


Leonard Hofstadter and Sheldon Cooper - "The Big Bang Theory"
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Pasadena is not exactly Los Angeles, but they've got roommates too. Smart ones, it would seem, if "The Big Bang Theory" is any guide. Put a pair of scientists together in a living situation like Leonard and Sheldon and you've got two superior elements of stress and a quantum amount of inertia.

Leonard and Sheldon bicker and argue like an old married couple, if that old married couple were both PhDs, awkward around women, and enamored by comic books and Dungeons and Dragons. But like all of the roommates on our list, their friendship can withstand whatever forces come their way with a sturdy bond that would make any atom proud. (Photo credit: CBS/Photofest)


BONUS: Matthew Wiggins and Nick Chase - "Roomies"
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There was actually a '80s sitcom called "Roomies," though looking at its eight episode lifespan, apparently not many people watched it. Though the idea of a young Corey Haim as the nerdy one and Burt Young as the older ex-drill sergeant finally giving college a shot is definitely an interesting premise. But premise alone wasn't enough to carry this summertime series into the fall semester. Although television audiences were spared a visit from Corey Feldman, Haim's evil twin, the dramatic duo would team up for their first unholy alliance during the same year in "The Lost Boys." (Photo credit: YouTube)

 

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