Dark Reboot Posters For 8 Beloved '90s Sitcoms

July 8, 2015, 3:50 am

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These days, it seems like darkness is what sells best on TV and at the movies. Bleak, depraved shows like "True Detective" and "American Horror Story" are fan favorites; violent, depressing dramas like "Breaking Bad" and "The Sopranos" are considered classics; and movie franchises like "The Dark Knight" trilogy and recent James Bond films have taken a turn toward darker territories. Because of this, we believe it's only a matter of time before some of our most beloved '90s sitcoms get rebooted with more evil themes. So, we've saved the studio execs some time and come up with the promotional posters for them already. Your move, Netflix.
















Design by Chris Kim in collaboration with Max Miller

Also check out: 10 Types of Movies You Can Expect to See Every Summer

 

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Worst First Date Ever Was Live-Tweeted And It's Hilariously Painful

July 8, 2015, 6:59 am

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We've all had our fair share of good dates and bad dates, but usually our dates aren't shared on Twitter for the world to see. That is exactly what happened when Anne Theriault, a writer, decided to live-tweet the worst first date she overheard.

 

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Pennsylvania Man Says Cops Tased Him In The Testicles

July 8, 2015, 7:01 am

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Indy, cover your nuts!

According to the Philadelphia Daily News, the lawyer representing a 30-year-old Glenolden man says police Tased his client in his testicles while he was handcuffed in the back of a police car in 2012, and he has filed a lawsuit against them because he has had bladder control issues ever since.


J. Conor Corcoran says his client, Kiyean Brown, left the Red Lantern Tavern following a fight that he wasn't involved in. When a Glenolden police officer stopped him on his way home, Brown basically told him to "go f--k himself," something Corcoran says his client had every right to do.

More officers arrived on the scene and attempted to place Brown into police custody, but Brown allegedly became "combative." They were able to place him in handcuffs, but while they tried to get him into the back of a squad car, Brown allegedly kicked at them, and that's when one officer said he Tased him in his thigh for roughly three seconds.

But Corcoran says his client was Tased in his beanbag, so bad that the officer literally "burnt a hole in his nuts," and now Brown has bladder control issues because of it.

"They'd just nuked him in the balls!" Corcoran said.

It's unknown how much money Corcoran and Brown are seeking, but if their side of the story is accurate, then $11 billion sounds about right.

Here's a guy who actually deserved to get Tased in the nards. Twice: Super Annoying Guy at Courthouse Gets Tasered

 

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Kendall Jenner's Sexy Calvin Klein Campaign Is Something We Can Get Behind

July 8, 2015, 7:22 am

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Kendall Jenner and the rest of her family know how to get our attention. If you need proof, just check out Kendall's latest photo shoot for Calvin Klein underwear. Then pick your jaw up off the floor.







Via FHM

 

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Subliminal Messaging In Advertising Is Real And Here's Proof

July 8, 2015, 7:36 am

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Whether you believe it or not, subliminal messaging is everywhere in advertising and it's making you buy things you don't even want to buy. Check out the video below to see why subliminal messaging is real, with some proof to go along with it too.



TL;DR: our minds are being controlled by evil corporations and there's a penis in every advertisement.

 

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Just a Threesome Going Down in Broad Daylight at the Calgary Stampede

July 8, 2015, 8:08 am

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No big deal.

The Calgary Stampede is a 10-day festival featuring concerts, rodeos, chuckwagon races, nightly evening shows and "constant Midway action" that takes place in Alberta's largest city every July.

It's unknown if these three Stampede patrons recently took "constant Midway action" a tad too literally or if the music of Vance Joy is the Canadian equivalent to Cialis, but whatever the case, it looks as though they partook in their own little rodeo away from the main stage, one where lasting just eight seconds isn't a good thing.



We're not sure if the thumbs up picture came before or after the group plow session, but since they both look pretty clean, we'll assume it came before, well, he did.

via Reddit

Here's a couple who got caught bumping uglies by a Google Street View car: 11 Hilarious Incidents of Public Sex Gone Wrong

 

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Here's an Old Man Eating His Earwax at Wimbledon

July 8, 2015, 8:40 am

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Hot dogs are eight pounds each? A cup of unsalted chips are going for seven pounds a pop, mate?

Food prices at major sporting events are out of control these days, but that's not going to be an issue for at least one patron at Wimbledon who was recently captured by television cameras chowing down on one of his ear boogers.


Like the guys at Barstool Sports pointed out, the grossest part of the whole exchange might be the fact that this guy never hesitated after digging that crap out of his ear, almost as though it's a common practice for him to eat whatever he pulls out of there.

But based on the caliber of person who usually fills the seats at Wimbledon, we'll have to assume it tasted like a million dollars.

This reporter swallowed her own snot rope, but it's not as bad because she's not a gross old man: Reporter Swallows Her Own Rope o' Snot on Live TV

 

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This Kid Did The Best 'Cuban Pete' Dance Routine With No Shame

July 8, 2015, 8:56 am

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If you're poolside this summer and are hesitant of taking your shirt off in front of people, just know that the kid below did the best "Cuban Pete" (from the movie The Mask) dance routine. In front of strangers. With no shame. Believe in yourself and shake off your worries.



And just in case you need to refresh your memory to see how accurate and glorious this kid's performance is, here's the original:

 

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Kayla Rae Reid Is Making Our Summer Official

July 8, 2015, 10:37 am

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Kayla Rae Reid and her beautiful body are making it official: It's summertime in the U.S. of A. Even though we're knee-deep in the summer weeks already, Kayla and her latest spread as Playboy's Miss July 2015 are what's turning up the heat, making a splash and forcing us to dip our private parts in the tingling ocean water to cool off. With bikinis, bucking horses and brazen beauty, Kayla Rae Reid is our official spokesmodel of summer. That, and her bodacious Virginia-bred bosoms. Thank you, Playboy, for everything.

 

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Pia Muehlenbeck is Conquering Australia and Our Hearts

July 8, 2015, 3:12 pm

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The Best Strip Club Names You'll See

July 8, 2015, 11:50 pm

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There are plenty of strip clubs out there, I know, I've done my research. So in order to stand out from the bunch, you have to round up your marketing team and create the best name for your strip club. Check out some of the best strip club names below and get inspired.

































Via The Chive

 

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Today's Funny Photos

July 9, 2015, 12:33 am

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An Enjoyable Story In Four Pictures

July 9, 2015, 12:50 am

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Man vs. bunk bed.









Probably from IKEA.

Via Twitter

 

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10 Surprising Facts About The World's Hottest Cosplayers

July 9, 2015, 1:50 am

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San Diego Comic Con is finally here. What does that mean for those of us who don't attend or care about breaking nerd news? First, the Con provides the internet with thousands of new incredibly sexy cosplay photos. Second, ... ugh... sorry, I was distracted by a girl dressed as a half-naked Wilma Flintstone and forgot my next point.

It doesn't matter. The real point is we'll all be drowning in new cosplay photos soon and you should know something about the girls behind the costumes. Many of them are more intriguing than you'd think.

Adrianne Curry

Curry, while dressed as Catwoman at last year's SDCC, beat the crap out of a guy with the hilt of her bullwhip after he stuck his finger in the butt-crack of a fellow cosplayer. And that's just the latest fun fact from her career, which includes winning the first season of America's Next Top Model, marrying (and divorcing) Peter Brady from The Brady Bunch, and riding a Sybian on The Howard Stern Show.

Jessica Nigri

Nigri parlayed cosplay fame into a successful voiceover and vlogging career. Nigri has become the cosplay Jenna Marbles with nearly 700k followers (500k more than the next closest coplayer) and voices characters in two popular anime series, RWBY and Super Sonico.

Yaya Han

Yaya Han is the first cosplayer to be invited to a convention as a Guest of Honor. Before 2001, it was unheard of for a fan to receive the same appearance contract and compensation as professionals in the anime and entertainment industry.

Chloe Dykstra

Chloe Dykstra has a very famous father. No, not troubled baseball legend Lenny Dystra. It's John Dykstra, the special effects legend who created the original light sabers for Star Wars, among many other accomplishments including three Academy Awards. Chloe has become internet-famous in her own right: hosting Just Cos for Nerdist, formerly dating nerd-superstar Chris Hardwick, and having topless photos of her leaked during The Fappening.

Anna Faith Carlson

Anna Faith's crazy likeness to Frozen character Elsa jumpstarted her modeling career from nothing to 684k Instagram followers. Before that, she was just a cute high school girl trying to figure out how to break into the biz. Go ahead and follow her because she doesn't just post Disney princess photos. There are also plenty of her in bikinis, which must confuse the children but will enchant your pants.

Alodia Gosiengfiao

Alodia Gosiengfiao has endorsement deals in the Philippines with both Canon cameras and a skin lightening soap. That sentence leads to so many questions. Well, Alodia is the most popular cosplayer in the world, with over 5m followers on Facebook. Just like tanning is popular in the US, skin lightening is popular in many Asian countries. Skin whitening products are commonplace enough over there that it's not weird for a person to endorse one as well a major camera brand.

Marie-Claude Bourbonnais

Marie-Claude's large fake breasts helped her land her first modeling gig for a French fries company. Canadian restaurant chain, New York Fries, ran the campaign "Real Fries In A Fake World" with her enhanced boobs prominently displayed. Since Bourbonnais is French-Canadian, she's not uptight about showing off her chest and you can stumble across many topless photos of her. Hello, Google....

Myrtle Sarrosa

Myrtle Sarrosa is not only one of the Philippines most popular cosplayers, she's also a basketball sideline reporter. Doris Burke showing up as Supergirl would stun NBA fans (and not in a good way). However, the Philippines seem to treat cosplay and basketball with equal fervor, so it's not weird to them.

Stella Chuu

Stella Chu combines cosplay and burlesque, dubbing herself "The Anime Princess of Burlesque." This totally makes sense. Both cosplay and burlesque are about fantasy. What child of the '90s wouldn't be aroused by the three-breasted prostitute from Total Recall seductively dancing on stage? You don't have to admit it out loud, but you know it's true.

Spiral Cats

Spiral Cats are the world's foremost supergroup of cosplayers. Hailing from a land where cosplay are rock stars, South Korea, it makes sense they'd combine their powers like Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young or Velvet Revolver, or even Black Hippy.

 

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Silicon Valley's 10 Dumbest Startups

July 9, 2015, 1:50 am

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The 20 Most Hilariously Creative Wi-Fi Names

July 9, 2015, 2:37 am

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Having Wi-Fi, and being able to connect to the Internet, is one of the best pleasures in life. Not being able to connect to the Internet would cause a huge spike in the crime rate in my household. That said, there is no reason you can't have a little fun when it comes to naming your Wi-Fi Network. Check out the 20 best Wi-Fi names below.









































Via Dorkly

 

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The Weekly Mandatory Meme Contest Winners: Fed Up Gorilla

July 9, 2015, 2:50 am

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Yesterday we asked you to use our brand new meme generator to create some hilarious memes to unleash on the Internet. There were a lot of entries, but we managed to narrow it down to 15 winners. Congratulations to the winners below. You truly understand what the Internet is all about. And to those of you that lost...oh well, there's always next week's contest!

Speaking of which, if you'd like to get a head start, you can find next week's meme right here.


Submitted by: Kat


Submitted by: Audrey


Submitted by: Streit2thepoint


Submitted by: Bob


Submitted by: JBrock


Submitted by: Bob


Submitted by: Bart


Submitted by: Rae


Submitted by: Athena


Submitted by: Trench

 

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10 Reasons Why Moving is the Most Miserable Experience in Life

July 9, 2015, 3:50 am

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Moving sucks. There's nothing fun about putting everything you own into boxes, only to have to take them all back out in a matter of days. It's tiresome and exhausting and by the time you're done with it you're almost too worn out to enjoy it. If you're going through a move, just know that you're not alone and we've all experienced that hellish nightmare. Here are 10 reasons why moving is the most miserable experience in life.

1. Exploiting Your Friends

Odds are, if you're moving you're going to have to ask your friends for help. One downside to doing this is that your friends will resent you forever and hate everything about you. No one likes moving their own stuff, let alone the keepsakes of a random friend. Plus your pals aren't expert movers so inevitably one of them will bang your table against a wall or scratch and there's nothing you can do about it. You paid them in Papa John's pizza so there's not a great replacement plan in that.

2. Hiring Movers

If you decide against getting your weird cousins to help you move, there's always the option of professional movers. Unfortunately this turns into its own set of horrendous problems. I'm pretty sure they just make up quotes like they're pricing items at the airport. "A banana? $13! Moving a futon? $600!" You can call three different places and the price range will vary by around $50,000. Then when you finally lock down movers their pickup and delivery timeframes make Time Warner look like the most punctual people on the planet. "Yeah we'll be there between 8am on Wednesday and Easter."

3. Finding Boxes

If you weren't moving, you could walk outside and boxes would just rain down from the heavens like some freakish recycling-themed nightmare. When you actually need them it becomes easier to spot a cardboard comet than it is to find usable boxes. Of course places like U-Haul sell boxes, but nothing makes you feel more dead inside than paying for a box. Did you really go to work for a day to get paid in cardboard boxes? Not even breakdancing street performers would bring themselves to this low point.

4. Finding Boxes That Actually Fit Your Stuff

When you do finally track boxes down you end up with 600 that are two inches too short to hold any of your stuff. So that turns into you either cramming them into the box and making it look like an idiot child wrapped a Christmas gift, or you just draping a blanket around your surround sound or TV and hoping for the best. I'm sure that quilt will protect your $800 soundbar when your fat-fingered brother inevitably drops it down the stairs during the move.

5. Change of Addresses
Back in the day the biggest issue you'd run into is you'd have to set up all of your utilities at a new address and alert the post office of where to deliver your future mail. Now you have to update your PayPal, credit cards, eBay, Facebook, Skype, Venmo, Groupon, Snapchat, Vine, Maps, Uber, Lyft, Yelp, and any other completely necessary app that requires all of your personal information. It seriously takes a day just to let your phone know where you're now living.

6. Your Pets Are In Hell

You think the move is difficult on you, but your pets are fairly certain the world is coming to an end. Your dog is going to pee on the floor for at least the next week and your cat is going to be so horrified by his new surroundings that you might not see him until spring. He'll wedge himself into a corner like some sort of hairy doorstop where he'll pray for death at least the next week. Isn't this a fun adventure?

7. You Realize You're a Low Key Hoarder

Everyone thinks they don't have that much stuff until you start moving. That's when you realize there are boxes of junk in your closets, attic, and basement that you never open, but just move from one place to the next. You don't even remember what's in the boxes anymore, but for some reason you can't get rid of them and never open them. Clearly this is something you truly need in your life considering how much you love and cherish it.

8. Hanging Pictures Is Borderline Torture
If they really wanted to torture prisoners at Guantanamo Bay, they should just make them hang pictures all day that have to be perfectly straight and don't have the easy hanging mechanisms on the back of the frames. Instead, they have those stupid devil-created frames that have a hole on each side and somehow you have to line it up like you're playing Tetris while blindfolded.

9. Your Labeling System Always Fails

As much as you'd like to think you're going to have all of your items perfectly organized by room to make moving as smooth as possible, it's simply not going to happen. You'll always end up with a few dozen items at the end that don't really go with anything else, so you carelessly toss them all into a few grab bag boxes. Your wireless router gets stuffed into a box of dress shirts. Your blended is in a box with office supplies, and childhood toys, for some reason. It's a complete mess and always turns into you desperately looking for an item that you don't find until you open the final box. By then you've already bought a replacement and you're completely filled with rage.

10. Happy Vacation!

The options when it comes to moving are either do it on the weekend, which means you'll be completely exhausted Monday morning when you go back to work, or use your vacation days for it. Can you think of anything in the world less relaxing to do on your vacation than pack up everything you own, and then unload it at a new location? It would seriously be more soothing and calm to be chased by a swarm of bees for three days than to spend that time moving. You'll swear you're never moving again and if you do, you'll claim you're just going to sell everything so you don't have to worry about packing. Yeah right.

 

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DJ Tricks EDM Crowd With Unexpected Bass Drop

July 9, 2015, 4:52 am

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There are people out there that pay good money to listen to electronic dance music for some reason, but the crowd below got an unfortunate surprise just when they were about to bash their heads to the bass drop.



And now let's all give it up for Spandau Ballet.

 

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The Funniest GIFs of the Week

July 9, 2015, 5:50 am

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