We're all young at heart, but eventually we all qualify for the AARP discount as our pants begin to sag lower than what's considered hip. As youthful young men on the verge of becoming youthful old men, consider some of the best, most baller retirement communities available to such a strapping lad such as yourself. Coated in adventure and sometimes offering wild times, some of these places might be the perfect spots for an old timer to settle down while having some fun before it's too many hip surgeries too late, but always, always with the option to sip prune juice quietly alone in the tub to reruns of "Mash."
Palm Springs, CA
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Average Cost of a Home: $298K
If you're looking to keep the party going on into your retirement, what better place than Palm Springs? The cost of living is relatively low to Los Angeles, and you're a short drive away. The weather is warm, the sun more frequent and all the girls of L.A. go there to "unwind" and put on their half-naked pre-Coachella soirees. For the California sunshine lover who wants to "unwind" by turning up the margarita machine, Palm Springs is the best southern California spot on the map. San Clemente is a great spot as well, half the distance from L.A. to San Diego along the Pacific coast, right on the water in a quiet community. This could run you a pretty penny though. Hey, you only live once, so they say. Or is that golf? You only golf once. You can do that in Palm Springs all damn day.
Cape Coral, FL
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Average Cost of a Home: $182K
Flowers and palm trees and morning rain and shuffleboard, so wait, who doesn't love Florida? With low crime rates and affordable housing in a below average cost of living, Cape Coral is that stereotypical Florida vacation you've been pining for all these years. A continuous winner of places to don Tommy Bahama button-ups, to never again wear pants and get to sip on Tom Collins drinks while your wife learns to hula, Cape Coral is a safe bet on happiness. And also Port Charlotte is even more affordable - average cost of a home around $147K - if you're more interested in spending money on living instead of where you sleep. Cape Coral is only going up in the market though, so get on it while the getting is good.
Charleston, SC
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Average Cost of a Home: $240K
If you're thinking east coast, the Carolinas are not only beautiful but some of the best affordable retirement spots along the Atlantic. It's warm, close to the water and a thriving, fun place to be without too much of the noise and crime like most cities. A great place to get outside most days of the year, especially for biking, walking and swimming, Charleston is one of those highly underrated communities in general. Clemson, too, has a lot of the same perks but at about half the price. It is a college town, which tends to keep old men horny and feeling young, but also possibly annoyed and sick of those youngsters and their electronic music. But with a surprisingly low crime rate, it's kind of a steal. And Beaufort is known for being one of the most relaxing spots along the east coast.
Brevard, NC
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Average Cost of a Home: $194K
Another Carolina gem lands on the north end, and this one has a lot of the same greatness in terms of affordability, safe living and the great outdoors, but Brevard takes on the greatness of another kind of Mother Nature in its backwoods, lakes and waterfalls. Might be just the spot to pack up the cooler with some cold ones and take the fishing rod out for the day. A quiet, scenic little area with lots of great places to walk, you'd find it hard to stay inside on a nice day in Brevard.
A short drive to Asheville, another great part of North Carolina, Brevard can give you the less beaten path next to small city life. There's also a sliding rock waterfall, so if you want to have fun and possibly go out in style, you can split your hip on some rocks on the way out. The Carolinas definitely has its great options. We could probably do a bit on the best places to be using this area alone!
Colorado Springs, CO
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Average Cost of a Home: $225K
A bit of a bigger retirement town, Colorado Springs has no trouble giving you something to look at around every turn. If you're the adventurous, outdoorsy type - maybe you're looking for a recreational side job to keep you outside and active - this area is just fine for keeping you on the move. If your orthotics are only getting thicker and your back a bit weaker, beware the rough terrain. But for every adventurous mountaineer with a little extra cash in his pension, Colorado Springs might be just right for a morning hike or afternoon ride. Just be careful of the rocks and cold winters so you don't "127 Hours" yourself.
Great Falls, MT
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Average Cost of a Home: $172K
A scenic monument with lower than average cost of living in a high doctor per capita region not far from some of the most beautiful
national parks? Sounds like a slam dunk to us. Great Falls may have its cold winters, but clean air along the Missouri River and a reasonably sized crowd of 60 thousand folk spread out makes this area of Montana a pretty comfortable place to kick up your boots. In the meantime, you're bumping state lines with other great beauties worth visiting like Washington, Oregon and Wyoming, which houses beautiful
Yellowstone. All of these northwestern spots would be great places to settle down while you're still into looking around with Mother Nature.
Surprise, AZ
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Average Cost of a Home: $198K
That's exactly what a suggestion to live in Arizona is, a surprise. But, of the Phoenix area, there is no better, quieter or more comfortable place of desert serenity than Surprise. Most websites will tell you to go to Tucson, but I've lived in Arizona and there's nothing great about a boring desert hellhole that close to the border for the older generation. Surprise, however, is a quiet, secluded perma-vacation community set just a short drive - about 40 minutes - from the downtown Phoenix area, so you can have your sand and eat it, too, or something. Prescott too, is a quiet, beautiful Arizona town with its row of whiskey bars, cute cafes and pet friendly downtown activity. And if you're tired of harsh winters, Flagstaff offers sunshine nearly 80 percent of its days, though never going above 90 degrees more than a few days each year.
Redding, CA
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Average Cost of a Home: $226K
For the California lovers who appreciate their solitude and crisp, cool mornings, the NorCal scene might be more up your alley. Redding, as well as Fresno, are great places in short distances to some monumental
national parks, such as Yosemite, Mendocino and Shasta-Trinity. A reasonable drive to Big Sur, Sacramento and San Francisco these northern California spots are the inexpensive inland area that keeps cash in your pocket, scenery on the eyes and a road trip begging to happen any moment you feel the need.
If you're an unhealthy fellow, we'll be honest that Fresno doesn't rank high for healthcare amongst retirement communities, but then again, the great outdoors is the best medicine anyway. But Redding is set close to the coast and not all that far from the great Oregon outdoors. Retirement doesn't necessarily mean sitting down until you move on from the world, so take advantage of your free time, snap some pictures and scare a bear.
Salt Lake City, UT
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Average Cost of a Home: $226K
Aside from a bit of crime, Salt Lake City ranks as one of our favorites for baller retirement communities. With great weather, a solid economy and an abundance of good healthcare in the area, this Sundance spot houses folks at just below the average national price in a city setting while giving them crisp air and lots to do inside beautiful Utah. That's sort of a rare combination there. The area is great for biking, walking and overall change of scenery. And St. George, Utah is great if you're specifically looking for a relaxing retirement resort. Ogden, as well, has a lot of the same perks with a much lower cost of living, too, but most likely not as lively a crowd.
San Angelo, TX
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Average Cost of a Home: $100K
With two years running in a row as one of the best communities to retire in - according to Forbes - and a short, three-hour cruise from Austin, San Angelo is an incredibly affordable, cool little Texas town. With house prices running a low bar, yet low crime and unemployment rates as well, San Angelo is great if you're looking to retire and not spend all your money.
Austin, itself, was rated a great retirement place a couple years back, but its affordability is growing less easy to find as it continues to flourish. However, knowing you're a short distance to the city and all its excitement - think Austin City Limits, SXSW and college bars - is good peace of mind for folks in San Angelo.
The area was considered one of the most affordable retirement communities where you could live off social security alone in 2014, according to US News. So that will keep some money in those trousers while they slide off your ass. Might be time to get yourself some of those handy suspenders after all!
