Well, the Oscars have come and gone. And whether you even cared about them or not, one thing we can all agree on is that the Internet makes events like these enjoyable for everyone. Here are some of the best photos, tweets, and gifs from Oscar night 2013.
One would think that a side benefit of being rich and famous would be never having to drive yourself around, but surprisingly many celebrities eschew the use of a chauffeur in favor of driving their insanely expensive cars themselves. Unfortunately, a lot of famous people aren't really Top Gear-caliber behind the wheel. In this feature, we'll share ten grisly, gruesome stories of celebrity car crashes.
Ryan Dunn, 2011
The boys of MTV's hit show "Jackass" were all known for their willingness to put their bodies on the line, no matter what the consequences. However, illicit substances often fuel that behavior. Ryan Dunn was famous for such stunts as putting a toy car up his butt and switching seats with Bam Margera while driving a Lamborghini, but it was a car that would prove to be his undoing. While driving his Porsche 911 GT at over 130 miles per hour through Chester County, he left the road and crashed into a tree, killing both himself and passenger Zachary Hartwell. Eerily, the scene of his death was the same stretch of road where Dunn had rolled a car in 1996.
It's a stretch to call the son of wrestling legend Hulk Hogan a celebrity in his own right, but the 2007 crash of Nick Hogan's yellow Toyota Supra in Clearwater, Florida demonstrates the aura of invincibility that stars think they have. Hogan's hobby was illegal drift racing, and while he was driving to a local steakhouse with members of his pit crew, the car fishtailed across the road and crashed into a palm tree, destroying it. Nick got off relatively unscathed, but passenger John Graziano suffered brain injuries that made him a vegetable for life. Audiotapes of Hogan from jail made him look even crappier, as he tried to blame Graziano for the accident and his injuries.
A rare woman who lived up to her name, screen legend Grace Kelly became royalty after marrying Prince Rainier of Monaco. Typically, Grace had a driver, but one evening in 1982 she decided to drive her daughter Stephanie back to the palace in Monaco from their country home along the winding French mountain roads. A driver behind them saw the car begin to behave erratically, taking sharp turns and scraping against the mountainside. Kelly's automobile hit a hairpin curve called "Devil's Curse" at sixty miles per hour and careened over the edge, landing on its roof. The Princess suffered severe brain damage and lapsed into a coma, dying three days later (Stephanie survived). A CAT scan revealed that Grace Kelly may have suffered a stroke behind the wheel, which could have led to her impaired driving.
Famed Impressionist painter Jackson Pollock became the toast of the art world with his sprawling splatter canvases, but the automobile accident that ended his life basically turned him into a reenactment of one. Pollock was driving his mistress and a friend to his home on Long Island. The painter was seriously intoxicated and barreled his Oldsmobile convertible with the top off right into a young oak tree. The car came to a stop but then the tree snapped back, launching the painter out of the top of the car and into the air. He impacted skull-first and died instantly.
The hair metal lifestyle of the 1980s was defined by lots of drug use and irresponsible behavior, and sometimes that behavior can get a person killed. Motley Crue singer Vince Neil was a notorious party dog, and his Redondo Beach home was Ground Zero for debauchery. When the members of English metal group Hanoi Rocks came to party for a few days, it would change the band forever. Neil took Hanoi Rocks drummer Nicholas "Razzle" Dingley on a routine run to the liquor store for supplies in his high-end Italian De Tomaso Pantera. Drunk and high out of his mind, Vince lost control of the car and plowed into an oncoming car, killing Razzle and severely injuring the other car's passengers.
There were some prime hotties in the movie business in the late 1950s, but few had the sheer moxie of Jayne Mansfield. The Pennsylvania-born blonde bombshell posed nude for Playboy in 1955 and saw her career skyrocket, becoming one of Hollywood's most iconic sex symbols. But her life was cruelly cut short one night in 1967. After a nightclub appearance in Biloxi, Mississippi, Mansfield set out for New Orleans with her husband, their driver, and three of her children. At a little bit before 3:00 in the morning, their Buick Electra smashed at full speed into the back of a mosquito fogging truck. The car slid under the trailer's rear end, killing all three adults in the front seat. The top of Mansfield's head was severed, leaving behind an unforgettable visual of her famous blonde mane embedded in the windshield.
No diss intended toward the other two members of TLC, but Left Eye was always the star of the group. Her oddball gimmick of wearing a wrapped condom as an eye patch probably dropped some hints that she wasn't exactly stable, and burning down the mansion she shared with boyfriend Andre Rison just sealed the deal. A month before her 31st birthday, Lopes was driving her Mitsubishi Montero Sport through the winding streets of Honduras when the car swerved off the road and smashed into a pair of trees, throwing her out the window and inflicting fatal head and neck trauma. Scarily, Lopes had been a passenger in another car accident just weeks before that saw a local child killed, and the singer was haunted by the experience until her own death.
Director Alan Pakula might not be as famous a name as some of the others on this list, but his automotive death is so freakish that it could have come from a "Final Destination" movie. Pakula, who directed '70s conspiracy classics like "All The President's Men," was driving his 1995 Volvo station wagon down the Long Island Expressway just outside of Melville when the car in front of him ran into a seven foot long metal pole and launched it through the air. The pole arced gracefully right through Pakula's windshield and struck him square in the middle of the forehead, knocking him unconscious. He lost control of the car, which swerved into a fence and crashed, killing him instantly.
Death by motor vehicle isn't a new thing - this story takes place in the last days of the Roaring Twenties. Isadora Duncan was one of the greatest dancers of her era, famous for her naturalistic movement that stood in stark contrast to the regimented forms of ballet. Duncan left the United States to live throughout Europe, but her life was terminated at the age of 50 in one of the strangest accidents on this list. Duncan was riding shotgun in a sports car driven by a French-Italian mechanic when the flowing silk scarf she wore became entangled in the vehicle's rear wheel. It whipped her immediately out of the car's open roof and dashed her to the pavement, killing her instantly.
Another Hollywood star whose career was tragically cut short in his prime, James Dean only had three credited roles before meeting his death on the California freeways. Dean was a lover of speed, and one afternoon he took his Porsche Spyder out on the 99 in preparation for a race. It would be his last ride - coming around a curve on Route 466, the Spyder careened head-first into a 1950 Ford that had made a last-minute lane change. The Porsche flipped into a nearby gorge, breaking Dean's neck and inflicting multiple fatal internal injuries. Ironically, just months before, the actor had filmed a public service announcement for the National Safety Council about defensive highway driving.
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One girl who everyone wanted to win won. One girl who nobody wanted to win won. And one guy who didn't even get invited to the party but everybody in the universe really wanted to win something didn't get anything.
Anna Grigorenko is an exotic model and actress from Ukraine who currently lives in Italy, which is the land of her father. The brunette beauty has been modeling since she was 15 years old, and was also featured in a movie at that age called "The Incredible Adventures of Marco Polo" with Jack Palance. Since then, Anna has gone on to pose for many popular magazines internationally, such as Playboy, GQ and FHM, and continues to pursue a career in acting.
Anna Grigorenko is an exotic model and actress from Ukraine who currently lives in Italy, which is the land of her father. The brunette beauty has been modeling since she was 15 years old, and was also featured in a movie at that age called "The Incredible Adventures of Marco Polo" with Jack Palance. Since then, Anna has gone on to pose for many popular magazines internationally, such as Playboy, GQ and FHM, and continues to pursue a career in acting.
Anna Grigorenko is an exotic model and actress from Ukraine who currently lives in Italy, which is the land of her father. The brunette beauty has been modeling since she was 15 years old, and was also featured in a movie at that age called "The Incredible Adventures of Marco Polo" with Jack Palance. Since then, Anna has gone on to pose for many popular magazines internationally, such as Playboy, GQ and FHM, and continues to pursue a career in acting.
Anna Grigorenko is an exotic model and actress from Ukraine who currently lives in Italy, which is the land of her father. The brunette beauty has been modeling since she was 15 years old, and was also featured in a movie at that age called "The Incredible Adventures of Marco Polo" with Jack Palance. Since then, Anna has gone on to pose for many popular magazines internationally, such as Playboy, GQ and FHM, and continues to pursue a career in acting.
Anna Grigorenko is an exotic model and actress from Ukraine who currently lives in Italy, which is the land of her father. The brunette beauty has been modeling since she was 15 years old, and was also featured in a movie at that age called "The Incredible Adventures of Marco Polo" with Jack Palance. Since then, Anna has gone on to pose for many popular magazines internationally, such as Playboy, GQ and FHM, and continues to pursue a career in acting.
Anna Grigorenko is an exotic model and actress from Ukraine who currently lives in Italy, which is the land of her father. The brunette beauty has been modeling since she was 15 years old, and was also featured in a movie at that age called "The Incredible Adventures of Marco Polo" with Jack Palance. Since then, Anna has gone on to pose for many popular magazines internationally, such as Playboy, GQ and FHM, and continues to pursue a career in acting.
Anna Grigorenko is an exotic model and actress from Ukraine who currently lives in Italy, which is the land of her father. The brunette beauty has been modeling since she was 15 years old, and was also featured in a movie at that age called "The Incredible Adventures of Marco Polo" with Jack Palance. Since then, Anna has gone on to pose for many popular magazines internationally, such as Playboy, GQ and FHM, and continues to pursue a career in acting.
Anna Grigorenko is an exotic model and actress from Ukraine who currently lives in Italy, which is the land of her father. The brunette beauty has been modeling since she was 15 years old, and was also featured in a movie at that age called "The Incredible Adventures of Marco Polo" with Jack Palance. Since then, Anna has gone on to pose for many popular magazines internationally, such as Playboy, GQ and FHM, and continues to pursue a career in acting.
Anna Grigorenko is an exotic model and actress from Ukraine who currently lives in Italy, which is the land of her father. The brunette beauty has been modeling since she was 15 years old, and was also featured in a movie at that age called "The Incredible Adventures of Marco Polo" with Jack Palance. Since then, Anna has gone on to pose for many popular magazines internationally, such as Playboy, GQ and FHM, and continues to pursue a career in acting.
Anna Grigorenko is an exotic model and actress from Ukraine who currently lives in Italy, which is the land of her father. The brunette beauty has been modeling since she was 15 years old, and was also featured in a movie at that age called "The Incredible Adventures of Marco Polo" with Jack Palance. Since then, Anna has gone on to pose for many popular magazines internationally, such as Playboy, GQ and FHM, and continues to pursue a career in acting.
Traveling across Europe is a fun adventure that tourists from all over the world have gone on and will continue to do so. But few have done it with the joy and fervor of this Russian fella, as you can clearly see from his self photos below. Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.
Yes, we're very aware that we post a lot of goat videos. Yes, we realize that we pretty much just posted a video of a screaming goat being mashed up flawlessly into a Taylor Swift song. Unless this is your first day on the internet (and if it is, we thank you for choosing Mandatory.com), you know that certain videos take off and become trends until you can't stand them anymore. Well, we can still stand the goat mashups...So here is a goat enhancing Bon Jovi's "Livin' on a Prayer."
The wonderful and creative Photoshop people of the Internet have brought us many great things, but few are greater than face swaps. Switching nothing more than the faces on two people in the same photograph alters the image just enough to catch your eye. Then you look closer. Then you get grossed out. That's why face swaps are so great. The difference goes from subtle to alarming very quickly. Here is a collection of our favorite face swaps.
There is nothing less rewarding than writing the intro to a funny photo gallery. Here I am slaving away at my computer while I know that you've probably already clicked on to the next funny photo, completely disregarding this award-winning prose I've cooked up to introduce you to today's slide show. Hello? Anyone? Aw, hell...
Who has time to watch a whole YouTube video anymore? We prefer to look at YouTube pause screens instead. They're way funnier.
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No matter if you think NASCAR is the greatest test of human driving skill and endurance or just a bunch of rednecks turning left for a couple hours, you can't deny that it makes a ton of money. There are NASCAR tie-in products by the thousands out there. Some make sense - replica cars, helmets and the like - while others are just bizarre. In this article, we'll spotlight ten of the absolute stupidest NASCAR products ever made.
NASCAR Romance Novels
We could make a lot of jokes here about the literacy level of NASCAR fans, but really that's a cheap shot. It's just amazing that there is a whole line of romance novels set in the world of stock car racing. Produced by Harlequin, the world leader in slushy tales for lonely ladies, the books have titles like "Crossing The Line" and "A Taste For Speed." In them, hunky NASCAR drivers with fictional names like "Braden James" and "Brent Sanford" fall for ordinary women who have to come to terms with their dangerous lifestyles.
The NASCAR name has been rented out to a staggering array of food products, from Pop-Tarts to frozen chicken wings. Not surprisingly, no licensed NASCAR foods are particularly healthy. One of the most bizarre tie-in products we've ever seen came in 2006 when Monogram Foods signed a deal to produce a whole line of official NASCAR meat products. Everything from bacon to hot dogs and processed deli slices hit Wal-Marts around the country with the tagline, "Taste The Excitement." But the deal quickly soured and these meat products are now official collector's items -- that smell pretty bad.
OK, the whole point of a duct tape wallet is that it's something you can just make yourself with a roll of duct tape and a little free time. The idea of buying one is just ridiculous. Even more ridiculous is shelling out 20 bucks for a factory-made duct tape wallet with Dale Earnhardt, Jr.'s signature and number on it. You could just write that on there with a Sharpie if you needed to. One of the saddest selling points of all is that it holds "four credit cards and six pictures." That's not a lot of either.
Watching stock car racing is the ultimate couch potato sport, so it's not terribly surprising that some genius got the idea to create official driver-licensed sofas. Made from "top-grain, high-performance leather" to simulate the feeling of actually sitting in an immobile stock car, these couches clocked in at around $2,000 each. Of course, the best-seller was the Dale Earnhardt, Sr. model, which was outfitted in funereal black with only a large #3 as ornamentation. As of press time, however, it looks like Racing Furniture is out of business, with founder Brown Councill currently running a website called "Elect Jesus."
Is your Roomba just not cool enough anymore? Then why not go for an upgrade with this NASCAR-styled robotic floor vacuum. Featuring an infrared stair avoidance system and five unique cleaning patterns, this little time-saver is perfect for the race fan too lazy to leave the couch. You can even take control of the unit remotely and pretend that you're Jeff Gordon moonlighting as a janitor. It's also the only robotic vacuum with a "race mode" that lets you turn off the suction for enhanced speed. Unfortunately, the vacuum isn't NASCAR-authentic in that it can turn right as well as left.
Man rule: giving your girl a bouquet of fruit instead of flowers is never a good decision. Even worse is giving a guy a bouquet of fruit. So the decision of leading overpriced food bouquet service Edible Arrangements to offer NASCAR fruit stacks for Father's Day gifts is completely befuddling. We can't imagine a dad in the world who would be happy to get one of these, no matter how many chocolate dipped bananas you put on that little plastic car.
Unfortunately, nobody's had the gall to make a NASCAR Bible yet, so we'll have to make do with this collection of Christian homilies assembled by Nextel Cup series chaplain Dale Beaver. We have nothing against religion, but trying to tie in your faith to stock car racing seems like something the big guy upstairs might not be all that into. It even has the eulogy from Dale Sr.'s funeral in it in case you want to relive the saddest moment of a NASCAR fan's life. For a non-secular version, pick up "Chicken Soup for the NASCAR Soul." Yes, that is a real thing, too.
And from the holy to the sinful. There's no jewelry more absurd than the belly button ring, even on women. That's just one part of the body that doesn't need any extra dangle to it. However, given the general target market of people with navel jewelry is strippers and aspiring strippers, it kind of makes sense that NASCAR would try to cash in on that. Several companies manufacture officially licensed NASCAR body jewelry, from modest earrings to ostentatious belly button rings with the checkered flags of the finish line right above your naughty bits.
If you do use this extensively, you might need the next item on our list, as well. What we have here is an all-chrome replica NASCAR vehicle that opens up to reveal six shot glasses. The combination of alcohol and stock car racing is a known quantity - you have to have something to cut the intense boredom - but typically it's low-octane beer like Budweiser, because you're in it for the long haul. How exactly would you play a drinking game with NASCAR? If you took a shot every lap you'd be in the hospital by the quarter point of the Daytona 500.
If you really want to declare your loyalty to the proud sport of NASCAR, why not buy an expensive box painted with NASCAR iconography and let your corpse rot into maggot-infested mush inside it? There are plenty of ridiculous coffins for every interest, but the officially licensed NASCAR casket carries a little extra irony when you think of the drivers who have died racing. Emblazoned with checkered flags and the number of Jeff Gordon's trademark car, this pine box is a great way to deny your family your life insurance.
I've been to the Playboy Mansion. Twice. And I've seen dozens of Playboy Playmates naked. But of all those naked beauties that I've laid my eyes on, none of them were in person. Somewhere, though, in the back of the brain of every guy making the pages of a Playboy centerfold stick together, is the hope that one day he could get one of them naked in real life. So, with the help of Miss October 2011 Amanda Cerny, I've come up with real-life tips on how to turn a Playmate into your girlfriend.
Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view. (Photos courtesy of The Smoking Jacket)
Did it hurt...when you fell from heaven? It's OK to say that, as long as you're intentionally trying to be dumb.
AMANDA CERNY: I think it takes a lot of courage to go up to girls, so if they throw out a cheesy pickup up line that we both know kind of sucks, but they throw it out there anyway to be funny, I think those are the best ones. It's better than someone trying too hard. That's embarrassing.
Act like you've been there before, even though you definitely haven't.
AC: When I meet somebody without them knowing [who I am], there's casual conversation and everything is normal. But then someone will come up and say something like "She's a Playmate" and their eyes just light up and it changes their whole vibe. Some guys will shy away and get intimidated by it and it will overly excite some guys, which can be even worse. But, then you meet someone who is cool with it and thinks it's just interesting that it's part of my life.
As long as you've got your suit and tie, you are one step closer to being Justin Timberlake in her eyes...or Leonardo DiCaprio.
AC: I like a guy who knows how to dress. The first time I met Leonardo DiCaprio was at this karaoke bar in LA and he was in a full suit and tie with his hair slicked back. He looked super handsome. That's the kind of look that's the sexiest. But, I also like a guy who looks good in basketball shorts and is all sweaty and sexy after just working out.
Remember that girls like sex, too!
AC: We're introduced to a bunch of different people and some guys are overly excited to meet a Playmate, so other guys see that and feel like they have to play it cool and take it slow and work hard to be a gentleman. But a little bit of a balance would be good.
But, on the first date, don't whip out your...copy of the magazine.
AC: No that would just be weird. That would be the worst date if that happened.
Go to Facebook, figure out whom her real friends are and get to know them really well. But never tell her you did that, because that's crazy.
AC: I always meet guys in the middle of a nightclub. Just kidding. Usually I meet guys through mutual friends. I feel like I choose good friends and they always surround themselves with good people so I tend to meet guys that way.
Show off your guns, literally.
AC: I'm kind of an adrenaline junkie and I like to do new things - I'm all about the whole bucket list thing - so if there is something on my list that they can choose, that's good. One time I mentioned casually that I had never been to a shooting range before and the guy remembered it so he took me to a shooting range. That was great. Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view. Don't assume she banged Hef. In fact, just don't mention it at all.
AC: A big misconception is the Hef thing. Everybody thinks that if you're a Playmate that you have sex with Hef and that's how you became a Playmate. But, these are the people that know nothing about Playboy. Hef has his girlfriends - and now he's married - who live in the house. For Playmates, he sees photos and approves them for a test shoot and then there is a team of editors who approve those photos and then Hef approves the final centerfold. He's not some gross guy who is approving girls who sleep with him.
Did you Google her just to check out her naked photos the second you met her? Yeah, she knows.
AC: A lot of guys play it off like they haven't seen them and act like they don't know and then they kind of hint at it. I play around with them and don't mention it until they actually say it.
A stiff cocktail isn't necessarily the way to her heart, but it doesn't hurt.
AC: A lot of people think that Playmates are crazy, party girls who blackout all the time, and our lives are all about drinking and going out. We go out for work and sometimes we don't even drink when we do these club appearances.
Understand who she is with her clothes on, and just maybe you'll get to see her with her clothes off.
AC: I'm doing a workout clothing line and branding myself around health and fitness. Plus, I work a lot with my charity in Haiti. I work with the Timkatec orphanage over there, and with my line of activewear that I'm starting, I'm working with local artists to help me with the patterns, so it will be Haiti-inspired. So, I like somebody who cares about their health and who appreciates the life they've been given and wants to actually give back.
For more on Amanda Cerny visit missamandacerny.com. Good news, the site is safe for work, assuming you have a job where they don't care what you do all day.
Ever since he learned the art of the "mockumentary" from Rob Reiner while making the legendary "This Is Spinal Tap," Christopher Guest and his group of go-to comics (which includes, among others, co-writer Eugene Levy, Catherine O'Hara, Jane Lynch, Parker Posey, John Michael Higgins, and Fred Willard) have been honing the format to perfection.
One of their best efforts, the dog show comedy "Best in Show," has recently been given a Blu-ray re-issue, so now's a good a time as any to dig up some facts about bitches and LULZ.
10. When we're introduced to Gerry and Cookie Fleck (Levy and O'Hara), there's a quick cutaway to an embarrassing high school photo of Gerry, who is cross-eyed and wearing a powder-blue tux.
That picture was actually taken by Guest on the set of "Waiting for Guffman," while screwing around with Levy between takes. Guest didn't tell Levy that he was using the photo in "Show" until after the movie was completed.
9. The Mayflower Dog Show at the center of the movie is supposed to take place in Philadelphia, but one aerial shot of the event is clearly of Pittsburgh's Mellon Arena.
There's also an inordinate amount of cop cars with flashing lights surrounding the arena in the shot - it's not because dogs are a potential flight risk, it's because the footage was borrowed from the Jean-Claude Van Damme action flick "Sudden Death." Yes, the one where he fights a terrorist dressed as the Pittsburgh Penguins' mascot.
8. Bob Balaban, who plays the head of the Mayflower Kennel Club, was the only actor to request a specific dog for his character. When Balaban's Dr. Theodore Millbank III is introduced, the white poodle seated on his lap was exactly the type of dog Balaban wanted as a kid but was never allowed to have.
7. Jane Lynch (who plays lesbian dog handler Christy Cummings) and Jim Piddock (who plays dog show commentator Trevor Beckwith) were the only two actors required to do homework about dog breeds.
Because they were both playing "experts," they had to sound like they really knew a lot about dogs and did a tremendous amount of studying (so much so, that several people who saw early screenings of the film thought Piddock was an actual dog expert hired for the movie). The only actor expressly forbidden from learning anything at all about dogs? Fred Willard, who played clueless color commentator Buck Laughlin.
6. Speaking of Fred, his Buck Laughlin was actually modeled after baseball legend Joe Garagiola, who was often - inexplicably - hired to co-host several Westminster Kennel Club dog show broadcasts and offered very little in the way of insight or expertise.
5. You can't accuse Parker Posey of half-assing it. She and Michael Hitchcock play Meg and Hamilton Swan, a pair of uptight, braces-wearing yuppies who were actually the first characters conceived of for the movie (Guest had the idea for them several years earlier, when he scribbled "catalogue people" on a piece of paper). While Hitchcock wears fake, removable braces, Posey actually went to an orthodontist and got real ones put on, which she wore for the duration of the shoot.
4. While researching his role, John Michael Higgins (as the more flamboyant half of a gay couple alongside Michael McKean) went to see a few actual dog shows. While attending one, a handler - in a pinch, and mistaking him for a fellow dog-presenter - asked him to go out and present one of her dogs. He did, and won.
3. All of the Flecks' Terrier tribute songs were written by Levy. He claims he wrote the lyrics for "God Loves a Terrier" in "about 18 seconds, on the back of a napkin" while on a plane ride.
2. Due to budget constraints, Guest was unable to close down either the airport the Swans are seen leaving from (when their dog, Beatrice, snaps at the guy who tries to pet her) or the hotel where all the contestants stay - so all the filming had to be done on the fly. Ed Begley Jr., who plays the hotel manager, had to pretend to check characters in while actual hotel guests were checking in around them.
1. In the final shot, we meet the Swan's new puppy - a horny pug that has taken a liking to their therapists' leg. The guttural, dog humping noises were actually recorded after the fact by Guest himself, since the dog was completely silent during filming.
"Clark Gable would have made a sequel to "Gone with the Wind" if he'd had a Facebook page, I just know it," is the calm pronouncement of Vin Diesel, sitting in a quiet corner on the chilly production set of "Fast & Furious 6," somewhere rural 20 miles west of London.
"There would have been an "On the Waterfront 2", if Marlon Brando had had a Facebook page. You can't help but be influenced by how strongly people feel about a franchise."
If the age-defining immediacy of connection between stars and their fans needed a powerful advocate, Vin Diesel would surely throw up his hand. The actor turned director and producer has got a staggeringly large army of supporters, advisers, brain crunchers (39 million Facebook followers at the last count), and he's not shy to ask them for an idea or two when he's running short.
"For the last three years, I've been lucky enough to get direct feedback by something as simple as my Facebook page," he explains, very quietly-spoken in the way only people truly confident of their power are.
"It was a girl named Chang. I'd put a little comment - 'Who would you like to see me work with?' and she posted, 'I'd love to see you with Dwayne Johnson.' Next thing you know, he's in 'Fast' (the sixth of which is now in post-production, set for US screens 24 May).
Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view."The whole game is online. There's no rhyme or reason. I think that the voice of the audience is louder and clearer than it's ever been, because of people's abilities to voice their opinions online, and people like me who listen, then go to the studio and say 'this is what they're saying.'"
Whether he's listening to his one-man Mori poll, or following his own instincts, Vin Diesel is absolutely clear in what he wants to achieve with this sixth outing as ex-con street racer Dominic Toretto. Having stepped away for number 4, he returned to the fold last time around, and now his pleasure in being heard by the studio is evident...
"I didn't do the second one (in the series)," he remembers. It felt like they were treating the sequel in the old-fashioned way, just exploiting the brand.
"One of the things I appreciate is they now approach it as a trilogy. When I came on to produce the fourth one, the question was, can we treat 4, 5 and 6, as a trilogy - films that speak to each other? I was always excited that, if you're going to do a sequel, you should approach it like Francis Ford Coppola, expand the story, one movie affects the next, and I think that's why it's successful.
"In the same way they're now thinking about the future of the franchise and whether they should immediately shoot 7, or wait until 8 and 9 are mapped out. So this is the third installment of the 2nd trilogy."
Seemingly able to reconcile his mission to emulate Coppola (who mercifully stopped short of a ninth Godfather) AND give the fans what they want, Vin Diesel is asking us to take on the chin the return of the character Letty Ortiz, apparently demised in 4, sneakily reintroduced in 5, played throughout by Michelle Rodriguez. He chuckles when challenged...
"I had always thought I knew where 4, 5, 6 were going, but there were petitions online - 'how could you...?' And then the fans were blown away at the end of FF5. They saw the impossible, when have you ever seen that for real?"
"Dallas?," I proffer.
"NEVER is the correct answer," squeals Vin, and I'm not going to argue with him.
"It's the audience having the forum," he concludes triumphantly.
What else can he tell us about FF6? He's proving tight-lipped. "The surprises we have in this franchise are cool," is all I get.
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"The only challenge, which is why Universal was seriously entertaining doing 6 and 7 back to back, is that one film doesn't give you enough real estate to explore the characters as much as you'd like.
"You'll see a shift in 7, a return to the core and you'll see, without giving away this movie, a coming home of sorts. It'll be a kick off to the next trilogy, done right."
So it seems Mr. Diesel, now 44, has mentally committed to another half-decade at least of Dominic Toretto. Is there a tension in this, and stretching himself as an actor?
"It's very, very tricky," he admits, particularly when his less physical roles, such as in Sidney Lumet's "Find Me Guilty," are greeted with critical praise, but poor box office returns.
"You've seen the stuff I've turned down. 'xXx's and countless other films. I think after working with Sidney Lumet, I became less concerned. I loved that experience with Sidney but, on a small level, I felt like I might have been rushing what I knew could have been done later.
"I like the challenge of taking an action film and infusing it with as much of a thespian thing as possible, something that no one would expect and pulling on heart strings and playing out themes you wouldn't normally expect to live in an action film. It's always been the challenge, not to be pigeonholed, and not to stereotype yourself."
Of course, to help steer him are 39 million voices - so what does his ethereal committee want him to do next?
"I just recently asked, 'who would you like to see me work with?' and they had two top names, the top male name is going to be a surprise in this film, and people online are just going to lose their minds.
"And the woman they want me to work with most is Angelina Jolie."
Is he up for that?
"I'm up for anything."
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Fast & Furious 6 will be released on May 24, 2013 and stars Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, Dwayne Johnson, Jordana Brewster, Michelle Rodriguez, Tyrese Gibson, Sung Kang, Gal Gadot, Chris "Ludacris" Bridges, Luke Evans, Elsa Pataky, Gina Carano
For more info on the sixth installment of the series:
If you have ever wondered what the plot of "Home Alone" would be like with the added touch of some Ben Affleck-infused suspense, then you must watch this "Home Alone"/"Argo" mashup. If you haven't seen "Argo" (what's wrong with you?), then this is your spoiler alert. And if you haven't seen "Home Alone" (seriously, what's wrong with you?), then be warned of some spoilers there, too.
Kellie Pickler is a country music artist who rose to fame after her season on "American Idol." She's now set to dance in the upcoming season of "Dancing With The Stars." Check out a gallery of this singing siren.
It's important that law enforcement have a way to take somebody down without causing permanent bodily harm. So when the TASER was invented by NASA researcher Jack Cover in 1974, it quickly became a popular non-lethal alternative. And the numbers back it up - officer injuries go way down when they're outfitted with the electric shock devices. Unfortunately, they're still not fun to get zapped by. In this feature, we'll share ten of the craziest TASER videos ever seen by the public.
Meth Kid In Jail Tased
When you're hopped up on illicit substances, sometimes the brutal shock of a TASER is the only thing that will bring you down. We're not sure of the exact provenance of this video, which features an officer from the Chandler Police Department in Chandler, Arizona, but it's a pretty incredible scene - the victim has been up on crystal meth for three days and he's itching for a fight, challenging cops to a no-rules brawl in the prison. Needless to say, the police don't bite, instead giving the crazy meth-head the shock of a lifetime.
One thing that's good is making anybody armed with a TASER take a shock from the device, just so they don't employ it lightly. Here's an incredible video from some nameless South American country featuring a buff soldier taking the shock for the first time. The awesome thing is that he basically sounds exactly like Star Wars supporting character Chewbacca when he gets zapped. His comrades-in-arms all seem pretty jovial about the bizarre sound their friend just made. But would you do any better?
Alcohol can also give you higher resistance to the impact of a TASER, as evidenced in this particularly intense dash-cam video from a pullover somewhere in America. When an obviously impaired driver refuses to take the DWI tests and instead attempts to resist arrest, the officer pulls out his handy little zap gun and pumps some volts through him. One shock isn't enough, though, so the befuddled cop pulls the trigger a few more times before the guy finally calms down enough to be arrested.
Sometimes you feel sympathy for the victim of a Tasing. Other times, you're there to see them get what they deserve. When a chubby ponytailed dude under the influence of too many good vibes threw off his wizard outfit (and why he was wearing that in the first place is a whole 'nother story), the cops tried their level best to reason with him and get him clothed again. After multiple refusals, he made a run for it, only to get zapped by the TASER. His first words after it happened? "This is the most beautiful thing I have ever imagined." Oh-kay, wizard dude.
Often times, the cops will use a TASER because they just don't know what to expect from a suspect. In this footage, a seriously intense Canadian dude is pinned down by the cops, who claim that they're taking him in on an existing warrant. He then launches into an astounding diatribe punctuated by screaming "YAHWEH!" at the top of his lungs. Dude then starts reciting a poem about the cops, to which they bring out the stun gun. And then there's the amazing twist ending, where after he takes the TASER it fills him with superhuman energy, he throws off the cops and makes his escape.
Some of these Tasings we can totally understand - they're dangerous individuals who can't be subdued any other way. But a guy in a wheelchair? That's dirty pool. When Wendell Hollingsworth showed up in court in Columbus, Ohio on charges of robbing parishioners in a local Catholic church, he rolled in in a wheelchair. For some reason, when the trial started not going his way (because he was guilty) he started violently kicking his own attorney, at which point the bailiffs had to come in and Tase him in his own damn wheelchair.
It certainly seems to us that the most common thing to get Tased for is public nudity. If you've got your ding-dong hanging out, you'd better brace yourself for a shock. In this amazing video shot on the mean streets of Indianapolis, Indiana, a completely naked dude wrecked on synthetic cannabis runs wild, outfoxing several police officers until they bring out the shocker and take his sweaty, disturbing hiney to the pavement. People: these artificial drugs don't do anybody any good. Please stop using them.
When a suspect is making his escape, the police don't have many options for bringing them down. This video comes from Clackamas, Oregon, where cops were in hot pursuit of a man suspected of carjacking a vehicle while wearing a Mad Hatter-style hat (they do that kind of thing in Oregon). The dude tried to escape along the banks of the Clackamas River, but had some trouble navigating the uneven rocks and fell into the water. Climbing out gave the police the time they needed to catch up to him, and when he made a move for a weapon in the waistband of his pants, an officer responded with a quick-draw Tasing that left him floored.
Police and security often bust out the taser when traditional non-lethal methods stop working. Here's a good example: when a beefy fan gets ejected from a Pittsburgh Pirates game at PNC Park, he tries to slap a worker on his way out. The hired police don't really cotton to that, and when he flips them lip they take batons to his head, with zero effect. Obviously, when you're dealing with someone who can shrug off a blow to the dome with ease, it's time to bust out the TASER. Our only question is why people are chanting "U-S-A?"
Probably the most iconic Tasing of all time, this took place during a John Kerry speech at the University of Florida. Andrew Meyer, a mass communication student, got pissed off that he didn't have the chance to ask Kerry a question and grabbed a stray microphone. After the cops moved in, Kerry, ever the gracious host, asked that they let Meyer speak. This would be a mistake, as the student proceeded to launch into a bizarre tirade about the 2004 election, the Skull & Bones society, and blowjobs. After his mic was cut, police escorted him out, but his continued resistance led to the use of the TASER despite his protesting screams to the contrary.
When you go to a restaurant and order a box of wine with your meal, you do not look cool. (Well, to us you do, but definitely not to your date.) So study this helpful infographic and the next time you are out to dinner, you can order the perfect compliment to your meal. Then you can chug it. And order another one.
If Michelle Rodriguez is a little bemused that, in the decade since her debut in the first of the Fast and Furious films, her character Letty Ortiz has been killed off in the fourth installment, enigmatically referred to in the closing scenes of the fifth and now properly reintroduced for number six, she at least knows who to blame for the change in Letty's fortunes...
"The thing is that when Vin gets something in his mind, it's like it's been manifest already, with his ability to convince people," she explains, of her co-star Mr Diesel's power to persuade, AND be persuaded by his huge army of social following fans (39 million at the last count on his Facebook page alone).
"His fan base, they were helping out a lot," says Rodriguez, curled up in a warm furry coat, on a freezing production set, 20 miles west of London. "They were making videos, asking us, 'bring this relationship back.'"
"Me and Vin have this chemistry, this 13-year rapport, you can't buy that with other actors, either you got it or you don't. You can't just pair people up and expect them to get along. Eventually the studios relented and said, 'Okay, we're going to bring her back.'"
What about the small matter of Letty's apparent death in film number 4? This is dismissed briskly by Rodriguez. "You can do anything. You didn't see it. There was no open casket. It was for the best."
Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.Rodriguez, a firebrand of a performer on film ("Resident Evil," "Avatar") and TV ("Lost"), and as cheerful, cheeky and outspoken in person as she ever appears on screen, appears to have more faith in Vin's army than she does in the more cloistered Hollywood types who make the final decision over such things...
"This is a historical era where you get a presidential nomination for the first time in history using the internet. There's something to be said about that. I see his fan base like a Gallup poll.
"You don't get this from a screening. A screening is full of people in LA. 99% of the time, they're out-of-work actors or people who aspire to be actors. You're not going to get a really good opinion of what America itself wants from a screening in California, sorry, but that's a very limited opinion. And instead, you've got 35 million people around the world answering questions. And he's got that ability to listen and tap into their resources. To me, that's beautiful."
Is Rodriguez a convert to the cause of social media? "I'm horrible with it. My last tweet was 3 months ago. I hyper-focus a lot, I talk to individuals for hours, and then I won't touch it again for months."
Despite her own lack of interactivity compared with Vin's, Rodriguez enjoys the new power this gives actors to negotiate their way around the system...
"Throughout my 13-year career, I've always had this battle. I represent this specific demographic, "tom girls," and I know you don't have a lot of them in Hollywood. I need to represent those little girls or women who think I'm cool. I have to maintain that and to be able to translate that to a studio. I need charts, gallup polls, I mean, seriously, dude... it's not that hard, it's called integrity."
I'm not sure who Rodriguez is attacking in her mind's eye as she explaining all this but, with her swift, sharp tongue, smiling all the while, I wouldn't fancy their chances, particularly now she's got an obvious ally in the form of Gina Carano, former mixed martial artist, turned actress, and recent recruit to the Fast and Furious production.
"I love her, she's dope. I tell her, you're coming in at such a good time, people are starting to get it. I had to fight not to be the girlfriend, not to be in some sort of romance. Every single time they saw a girl, they just think of her vagina, and a relationship. And there are other cooler things to focus on, when you're doing an action movie. So she's here at a great time, people are much more receptive to girl power, and sending a message to the world to balance things out. It's a really great time to be in the business and be a tom boy," she concludes, smirking.
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So, is Rodriguez willing to put her money where her mouth is, forsake a load of pretty girl stuff on camera and put herself up with the boys, or even the other tough girls? She nods vigorously.
"I think we need to have more girl fights. I agree with Sandra Bullock, who said, if more girls were in more bar fights, we'd get along more, and I agree.
"(Fast co-star) Paul (Walker) was telling me about his young daughter. She's learning 'girls are really strange, they're really nice to your face and then they're nasty about you,' and I had to agree with her. And that's why I'm a tomboy. And that's why men rule the world. So once we get rid of that attitude, then we'll be good to go."
And, two films later, is she finding the chemistry intact? Is Vin a good kisser? For the first time, she almost blushes, almost like a girl...
"Yes, he is. I try not to focus on that too much because he has a family. So I try to ignore that when we're doing our hot scenes."
Fast & Furious 6 will be released on May 24, 2013 and stars Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, Dwayne Johnson, Jordana Brewster, Michelle Rodriguez, Tyrese Gibson, Sung Kang, Gal Gadot, Chris "Ludacris" Bridges, Luke Evans, Elsa Pataky, Gina Carano
For more info on the sixth installment of the series:
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