This was supposed to be a serious, heart-wrenching story, but as you'll see pretty quickly, it all goes to the dogs.
Our friends over at StyleList want to help you out. So, instead of just assuming you know everything a woman desires, why don't you listen to the editors at the premiere fashion site on the Web and make sure you are doing the right thing when it comes to the opposite sex?
This week: The old body spray or cologne debate.
MMA fans know Brittney Palmer as one of the sexy Octagon Girls who provides eye candy cageside at UFC events. What most do not know, however, is that she is also an accomplished artist, spokesmodel, host and dancer. In other words, Brittney is a modern day Renaissance Woman. Click ahead for more hot photos of Palmer and to learn all about her.
Follow Brittney Palmer on Twitter.
Brittney Palmer was born in 1987 in San Diego, but grew up in Las Vegas.
She is 5' 6" tall.
Palmer was featured on the cover of Playboy Magazine in March 2012.
Brittney has been a featured Octagon Girl for the UFC for the past four years.
Once she turned 18, she became a professional model and entertainer, working as a featured act and magician's assistant at Vegas casinos and as a lead dancer in a club.
Here's Brittney Palmer on the beach with fellow Octagon Girls Chandella Powell and Arianny Celeste.
Brittney has enjoyed painting her whole life, and is currently attending art school in LA to take her passion to the next level. You can check out her work on her website.
According to her UFC.com bio, Brittney's biggest turn-ons are a sense of humor, ambition and talent.
According to Brittney, a great date would be "...going to a really awesome concert at like the Hollywood Bowl with wine."
Although she is not yet married, it does appear that Brittney Palmer recently got engaged. Sorry if that crushes any of your hopes and dreams, fellas.
Lacey Banghard - yes, that's her real name - is a glamour model and Page 3 Girl. Check out a gallery of this bodacious beauty.
Her last name is the result of a spelling error by immigration when her paternal grandparents moved to the UK.
Lacey is only 5' 1" tall and has size 28G breasts.
Lacey's father was Asian Indian and her mother was Caucasian.
Regarding her last name, Lacey said, "I've had every joke you can think of thrown at me...I'm used to it. I don't care. I've got three brothers and they love the name!"
Lacey Banghard came to prominence after winning The Sun's Page 3 Idol competition in 2011.
Lacey has also appeared on "Celebrity Big Brother."
Lacey Banghard has trademarked her name and would like to put it on T-shirts and boxers.
Lacey loves hip-hop music.
Lacey Banghard lives in London, England.
50 Cent gained notoriety as a rapper who got shot a bunch of times. Then he had a huge hit with Dr. Dre with "In Da Club." Then he bought Vitamin Water or something. After that, he kind of disappeared. And yet, he's still all over the Internet for some reason. Whether he's tweeting out ridiculous things, getting photoshopped by the many geniuses of the Internet or taking weird self-portraits with all of his money, Fiddy is someone we will never grow tired of.
Where my dawgs at?
This needs to be #1 on the New York Times Best Sellers list every week.
Fiddy makes some powerful music.
50 Centaur
I can't believe my gran mothers making me take Out the garbage I'm rich fuck this I'm going home I don't need this shit.
In case you didn't know, 50 Cent likes money.
Like, he likes it enough to eat it.
He's right. You can't hate on that look.
Not totally sure why this happened.
Definitely not sure why this happened twice.
Oprah Cent.
Man, people really like photoshopping 50 Cent onto women's bodies.
If you can't beat 'em, join 'em.
One of these people has had major reconstructive surgery. The other has been shot 9 times.
This is a beautiful baby announcement.
Accordions are gangsta.
The I Also Like To Live Dangerously meme has really caught fire lately (even with people who replace "also" with "too") and resulted in some quality gems. We clicked around the Internet to dig up the best uses of the classic line from Austin Powers.
I noticed you took 1 more Advil than recommended.
You do not want to find out what happens when you don't tear the Kit Kat wrapper correctly.
Unplugging a device without properly ejecting it? I too like to live dangerously.
Do not touch.
I noticed that you didn't wash your grapes before eating them. I too like to live dangerously.
This person is really living life on the edge.
I noticed you don't have a case on your iPhone. I too like to live dangerously.
Beware of cramping!
Not emptying the lint trap in the dryer? I too like to live dangerously.
I noticed you fast forward your DVR up to five arrow speed. I too like to live dangerously.
You click on NSFW links at work. I too like to live dangerously.
I noticed you filled up your drink before adding ice. I too like to live dangerously.
I see you're using that Q Tip to clean your ears, even though it explicitly says not to on the box. I too like to live dangerously.
I noticed you rubbing your cat's belly. I too like to live dangerously.
The espionage game is a thankless racket - the sign of being good at your job is that nobody can ever know. That's what makes the people in this list so surprising. They were well-known in other walks of life but managed to fit in some undercover work for the military on the side. So let's blow the cover of 10 people you didn't know were spies.
"Lucky" Luciano
The U.S. government has made deals with some pretty shady characters over the years, but the head of a Mafia family? You bet. Charles "Lucky" Luciano was the capo of the Genovese family when the FBI put him behind bars in 1936 for running a prostitution ring. Six years later, the U.S. navy began to have problems with sabotage at the New York docks.
The dockworkers were totally under the Mafia's thumb, though, so they wouldn't give any information to the authorities. The Navy came to Luciano and recruited him as an informant so he would use his leverage and help them get information. It worked - sabotage stopped - and Luciano was rewarded with his sentence being cut from 50 years to just 10.
Frank Sinatra
Ol' Blue Eyes was one of the most famous singers of his era, and his connections to the Mafia have been well-documented. But it was exactly those connections that made him an irresistible inside operative for the CIA.
Sinatra's daughter Tina alleges that even though J. Edgar Hoover's FBI was constantly trying to bring Sinatra in, the CIA often paid him to work as a courier. Because Frank flew on private jets, he could be depended on to transport valuable information and individuals around the world without too much trouble. As usual, he did espionage his way.
Walt Disney
The legendary creator of America's animation industry was a seriously patriotic man, so it's not surprising that when the FBI came calling, Walt Disney answered. In the late 1940s, the threat of global Communism rose to the forefront of our consciousness, and the Federal Bureau of Investigation, under the aegis of J. Edgar Hoover, rose to fight it.
Hoover immediately started ferretting out Communists and sympathizers all over America, most notably in the form of the Hollywood blacklists of the 1950s. Disney, a staunch right-winger who had trouble with unions, was all too happy to give the FBI information on suspected Commies to get them out of the business.
Harry Houdini
The work of the spy is the work of illusion, and no human has been as expert in those arts as Harry Houdini. The Budapest-born escape artist was a fearless explorer of the unknown, and a recently-published book alleges that Houdini worked in the espionage game on both sides of the fence.
In the early 1900s, he traveled to England for the first time and allegedly worked for Scotland Yard spying on troop buildups in Germany before the start of World War I. He also worked closely with police departments in the United States, who could have used him to gather information on the underworld. Since he's dead, there's no way to confirm these tales, but they're quite plausible.
Julia Child
The cheery face of Americanized French cooking may seem like someone who would be out of place in a spy agency, but that's kind of the point, right? Child wanted to enroll in the U.S. Army Corps in World War II but was turned down for being too tall.
The Office of Strategic Services was happy to take her, though, and she quickly rose through the ranks, working on an assignment to develop a shark repellent for divers as well as taking listening posts in Ceylon and China. In Ceylon, she met Paul Child, another agent who would become her husband.
Roald Dahl
The author of "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" isn't really a person you'd cast as an insatiable sexual dynamo, but Roald Dahl used what God gave him during World War II to gather information for the Office of Strategic Services.
At the start of the war, Dahl was a celebrated fighter pilot, but after a brutal crash in Egypt was reassigned to a desk job. From there, he was recruited by Britain's spy agency and transferred to Washington, D.C. where he bedded influential women to win support for the British government, as well as purloining classified documents.
Arthur Schlesinger Jr
Historian and critic Arthur Schlesinger Jr definitely doesn't fit the physical profile of a spy with his trademark bow tie and coke bottle glasses, but it takes all kinds. During World War II, Schlesinger tried to join the Army only to fail the medical admission test.
With a burning desire to serve his country, he hooked up with the Office of Strategic Services, who took advantage of his keen intelligence. He served on multiple committees during the conflict, including working with psychological warfare programs designed to disorient the enemy into surrendering.
Josephine Baker
One of the biggest sex symbols of the 1930s, the Bronze Venus became a worldwide star on the basis of her exotic good looks and dance ability. Josephine Baker would perform African dances with her pet cheetah and became the first African-American woman to star in a major movie.
In 1940, Baker was recruited by the French Chief of Counterespionage to become an informant. When the Axis took France during World War II, Baker performed for the occupiers, but kept her ears open for sensitive information, which she would pass to the Resistance in invisible ink on her sheet music.
Christopher Lee
One of the most legendary horror actors of all time, Christopher Lee is famous for his ability to take on some seriously dark roles. It's fair to say that some of those skills were fostered during World War II. Initially enlisting with the Finnish army during the Winter War, Lee was transferred to the Royal Air Force and found a home in the intelligence division.
Lee was then recruited into the ultra-secret Special Operations Executive, which keeps all operational details under lock and key. After the war, Lee then worked to track down escaped Nazi war criminals and bring them to justice.
Noel Coward
English playwright Noel Coward was well-known for his flamboyant nature, which you wouldn't think would be good for someone in the espionage game. But at his core, Coward was a dedicated patriot who devoted his life to fighting the spread of Fascism.
After training with the Office of Secret Services, Coward used his celebrity lifestyle to travel the globe carrying out a number of missions. He couriered documents and wrote reports on possible German sympathizers, all the while publicly mocking the very idea of intelligence. It was a great cover that was never penetrated in his lifetime.
There's nothing funny about Monday. Except these funny photos, of course.
Sad Hulk is sad.
Click here for more very enjoyable parents forcing their kids to take pictures they did not want to take.
Honestly, I may have posted this already a few months ago. But it brings me so much joy, that I'm posting it again.
Is Pluto fixed? Only one way to find out.
I bet she used pay phones, too.
Beware of dog snake.
This can apply to pretty much anything I want to do vs anything I don't want to do.
Get the duck out of the bathroom.
Never forget.
Not cool, God.
Hercules! Hercules! Hercules!
Russia might be a corrupt nation on the verge of collapse, but they do have awesome game shows.
I don't know why there's a moon grandma. But I really like moon Grandma.
There's only one way to show them how stupid they look.
Party Barbie is partying.
The Internet is running out of ideas.
The face swap has been taken to another level.
Click here for tons of creepy face swaps.
PEGEE is onto something.
Click here for the funniest tweets of the week.
Beth Humphreys is an English glamour model who has appeared in a variety of magazines and internet sites. Check out a gallery of this smokin' English lass.
Beth was born in 1994 and raised in Manchester, England.
Her breasts are an all-natural E cup and both of her nipples are pierced.
Beth said she'd give modeling a try for a while, and then "more than likely I'll go to uni to study chemical engineering believe it or not."
She said in an interview that "Justin Bieber sounds like a pussy-boy! I hate guys like that."
Beth's major turn offs in men are when they are not loyal, and dishonesty.
Beth has a friend who calls her "monkey-head" because "he thinks I look like a monkey."
Beth said, "People say I constantly act like I'm on too much sugar."
When it comes to drinking, Beth can drink. "My family's all from Ireland and they drink loads. It's the norm."
Beth Humphreys lives in East London, England.
Busty babes. We can't get enough of 'em and lucky for all of us, the internet is chock full of 'em. Enjoy this gallery of some of the sexiest and bustiest beauties the internet has to offer.
Raychel Frew
Raychel Jane Frew is a stunning Gold Coast, Australian model who in 2008 won the coveted Miss Hawaiian Tropic competition.
Check out Raychel Frew's profile page for more hot photos and videos.
Billie Faiers
Billie Faiers is one of the stars of the English reality TV show "The Only Way Is Essex," sometimes abbreviated as "TOWIE."
Check out Billie Faiers' profile page for more hot photos and videos.
Avonte Wright
Jordan Carver
Jordan Carver has appeared in Zoo Magazine, ALUFEM, Slitz, among others. She has also appeared on "WGN Morning News."
Check out Jordan Carver's profile page for more hot photos and videos.
Alice Goodwin
Alice Goodwin is a glamour model best known for her enormous breasts. Apparently, each of Alice's enhanced 32FF breasts weigh one and a half pounds.
Check out Alice Goodwin's profile page for more hot photos and videos.
Rachel Burr
Rachel Burr is an Australian Model and Pin-up girl who regularly graces the country's most popular men's magazine covers.
Check out Rachel Burr's profile page for more hot photos and videos.
Denise Milani
In 2007, Denise Milani created her own MySpace profile and became one of the most well known internet models in the United States. She also posed for Pin up Glam.
Check out Denise Milani's profile page for more hot photos and videos.
Sophie Reade
Mayra Veronica
Born in Havana, Cuba, Mayra Veronica Aruca Rodriguez aka Mayra Veronica is a model and singer.
Check out Mayra Veronica's profile page for more hot photos and videos.
Lucy Pinder
Lucy Pinderis noted for her extremely large, 32G breasts, which have been voted "the most beautiful all-natural pair in Britain." In 2007, the Australian magazine Ralph declared Lucy had the "Best Breasts in the World."
Check out Lucy Pinder's profile page for more hot photos and videos.
Katie Price
Katie Price (also known as Jordan) is an English media personality and former glamour model known for her large breasts, which she had surgically enhanced from her natural 32B to a 32FF.
Check out Katie Price's profile page for more hot photos and videos.
Lacey Banghard
Lacey Banghard's appropriate last name is the result of a spelling error by immigration when her paternal grandparents moved to the UK.
Check out more hot photos of Lacey Banghard.
Jodie Marsh
Jodie got her start in modeling after being discovered table dancing and was subsequently invited to pose for magazines, including Loaded, FHM, Zoo and Nuts.
Check out Jodie Marsh's profile page for more hot photos and videos.
Christina Halkiopoulos
Christina Halkiopoulos weighs 100 lbs., and her measurements are 34-22-33 with a DD cup size.
Check out Christina Halkiopoulos' profile page for more hot photos and videos.
Natasha Kizmet
Natasha Kizmet is a Uzbekistan-born model known for her large breasts and her starring role in the cult film "Stripper: Natasha Kizmet."
Check out Natasha Kizmet's profile page for more hot photos and videos.
Sophie Howard
Sophie Howard is a British glamour model who was once named having "Britain's Best Boobs."
Holly Peers
Holly Peers is an English glamour model known for her all-natural size F breasts.
Jodie Gasson
Jodie Gasson is a Page 3 Girl for the Daily Star, known for her F-cup breasts.
Lucy Collett
Lucy Collett is often compared to Christina Hendricks or Jessica Rabbit.
Beth Humphreys
Beth Humphrey's breasts are an all-natural E cup and both of her nipples are pierced.
The Invisible meme has so many examples, it's on the verge of filling up the entire Internet on its own. What started as a bunch of cats who looked like they were riding imaginary machinery has evolved to embrace squirrels, alligators, humans and just about anything else ever caught on camera. This collection celebrates the best of the Invisible meme.
Invisible bike.
Invisible cereal bowl.
Invisible dining chair.
Invisible boom box serenade.
Invisible basketballs.
Invisible crack pipe.
Invisible bear attack.
Invisible movie explosion.
Invisible ladder.
Invisible shopping cart.
Invisible karaoke.
Invisible broom stick.
OMG. Invisible apples.
Invisible measuring tape.
Invisible sweet-ass guitar solo.
Invisible thigh master.
Invisible sandwich.
Invisible hoagie.
Invisible lawnmower.
Invisible everything.
Invisible horse. (Why you gotta be so crass Spider-man?)
Invisible accordion.
Invisible sweet-ass bass jam.
Invisible pizza.
Invisible cheeseburger.
Invisible chess.
Invisible tape.
Invisible swimming pool.
Invisible coffin.
High-fiving your friends is OK. But high-fiving your animals is way, way cooler. Here are 14 awesome gifs of animals high-fiving their owners, or each other.
High fiving cats are a little better than high-fiving dogs (because dogs already know how to shake hands.)
Dog high fives are way better than dog hand shakes.
"Nice job opening that can of tuna." - cat
This guy is taking high fives to another level.
There's no law that says you can't high five your stuffed Pokemon.
These high-fiving turtles are cooler than the Teenage Mutant Ninja variety of turtle.
Technically this might be a shake, but it's done with so much vigor and joy that it's an honorary dog high five.
Extra points for the jump high five.
It's rare to see a dragonfly high five. But here we are.
Corgi's gotta get up if they want to hit two up high.
This is exactly the pathetic high five you'd expect from a dog that looks like that.
I guess this isn't bad for a kitten.
Well, they can't all be winners.