
1. "I'm not having sex with hookers anymore, I swear."
2. "Porn stars, too. Really."
3. "I've learned my lesson."
4. "Go ahead, look through my phone."
5. "I can't even remember the last time I was in a Hooters."
6. "The sex therapy worked."
7. "I will never cheat on you, I promise."
8. "Vegas waitresses? I haven't texted a Vegas waitress about doing ATM in, like, 5 years."
9. "I promise I will not fuck up Thanksgiving weekend."
10. "I'm not even into large, fake breasts anymore."
11. "I actually trained myself to forget how to sext."
12. "The only dirty talking I want to do is with you, sweetie."
13. "I'll bet you 100 million dollars I won't cheat on you."