March Madness is here. Which means you lay down your hard-earned dollars on a bunch of teenagers from a bunch of schools you've never heard of. To help out, we put together a handy 2013 NCAA Tournament Cheat Sheet so you can have something interesting to say to your friends about each of the 64 teams in tourney (Sorry, play-in teams, we still don't think you count).
Just print this out and bring it to the bar. When someone says, "I don't know anything about Pacific." You can respond with, "Oh, one of the biggest draft busts in NBA history, Michael Olowokandi, played three years at Pacific and left the school as its all-time leading shot blocker before being drafted #1 overall in the 1998 NBA Draft."
CLICK HERE TO PRINT OUT YOUR 2013 NCAA TOURNAMENT CHEAT SHEET
You're welcome.
SOUTH REGION
1 Kansas
The Jayhawks have the best field-goal percentage defense in the country.
16 Western Kentucky
3 out of every 5 WKU students are female.
8 North Carolina
UNC is tied for third most NCAA Championships all time with 5.
9 Villanova
Villanova owns more NCAA tournament underdog wins (15) than any other program.
5 VCU
VCU coach Shaka Smart was an Akron assistant coach from 2003-2006.
12 Akron
The Zips' mascot is a kangaroo named Zippy.
4 Michigan
Glenn Robinson and Tim Hardaway's sons and Al Horford's brother all play for Michigan.
13 S. Dakota St.
There were 247 alcohol-related arrests on the SDSU campus last year.
6 UCLA
Legendary coach John Wooden took the UCLA job after a job offer call from Minnesota was delayed by a snowstorm.
11 Minnesota
Tubby Smith's first name is Orlando
3 Florida
Nate Silver gave Florida the best chance to reach the Final Four (37%).
14 Northwestern St.
Northwestern State is the country's highest scoring team (81.0 PPG).
7 San Diego St.
Justin Halpern (the Shit My Dad Says guy) pitched for SDSU. Poorly.
10 Oklahoma
Lon Kruger is the first coach to take 5 different teams to the tourney (Oklahoma, K-State, Florida, Illinois and UNLV).
2 Georgetown
Seven #2 seeds have been upset by #15 seeds in NCAA tourney history.
15 FGCU
This is the FGCU Eagles first NCAA tourney bid.
MIDWEST REGION
1 Louisville
The Cardinals are college basketball's most valuable team, worth $38.5 million.
16 NC A&T/Liberty
No #16 seed has ever beaten a 1-seed. Also, no one has ever finished watching a play-in game between two #16 seeds.
8 Colorado St.
The Rams have not won a tournament game since they defeated Florida in the first round in 1989.
9 Missouri
In 25 tournament appearances, the Tigers have made zero trips to the Final Four.
5 Oklahoma St.
The Cowboys boast the Big 12 Player of the Year, Marcus Smart.
12 Oregon
The Ducks were 21-4 this season when point guard Dominic Artis played, but just 5-4 without him.
4 Saint Louis
Because of bad traffic, the Billikens were forced to watch the Selection Sunday show at a Best Buy in New Jersey.
13 New Mexico St.
The largest man in the tournament is the Aggies' center Sim "Bumper" Bhullar, who is 7'5", 360 lbs.
6 Memphis
The Tigers only have four losses on the season, and just one occurred in 2013.
11 MTSU/Saint Mary's
Three 11-seeds have made the Final Four in the modern era of the tourney. VCU was last to do it in 2011.
3 Michigan St.
Tom Izzo's teams have reached the Final Four six times since 1999, the most for any coach during that time.
14 Valparaiso
The Crusaders are coached by former player Bryce Drew, who hit the famous game-winning 3-pointer in 1998 to knock off Ole Miss.
7 Creighton
Bluejays forward Doug McDermott is the leading scorer in the tournament, averaging 23.1 PPG.
10 Cincinnati
The Bearcats won back-to-back championships in 1961 and 1962, the first two seasons after Oscar Robertson left for the NBA.
2 Duke
The Blue Devils only lost one game all season with Ryan Kelly in the lineup, their last game to Maryland in the ACC tournament.
15 Albany
The school's most famous alum is gay rights pioneer Harvey Milk. Their mascot is the Great Dane.
WEST REGION
1 Gonzaga
The Zags have played in every NCAA tournament since 1999.
16 Southern University
The Jaguars have made it to the tourney seven times, but only advanced past the 1st round once.
8 Pittsburgh
The Panther's mascot's tail is listed as 2 feet 7 inches and his paw size is listed as "large enough to squash the Big East conference."
9 Wichita St.
The furthest the Shockers ever made it in the tournament was the Final Four in 1965.
5 Wisconsin
We have the University of Wisconsin to thank for the invention of bubble gum, vinyl, synthetic rubber, and color television.
12 Ole Miss
Ole Miss houses the only legal marijuana farm in the United States.
4 Kansas State
The Wildcats have been to four Final Fours, but have yet to win a championship.
13 Boise St./ La Salle
One of Boise State's alumni is Earl Boen, the shrink in "Terminator 2" who gets attacked by Sarah Connor. La Salle won the championship once, in 1954.
6 Arizona
Wads of Black Jack chewing gum once enjoyed by outlaw John Dillinger are on display in a jar on the Arizona campus.
11 Belmont
The Bruins are winless in all five of their tournament appearances.
3 New Mexico
2006 NFL Defensive Player of the Year Brian Urlacher is an alum of NMU.
14 Harvard
Harvard students pee on the foot of the John Harvard statue since it has become a tradition for tourists to rub the foot for good luck.
7 Notre Dame
The football film "Rudy" was one of only two movies that have ever been allowed to shoot on the Notre Dame campus.
10 Iowa State
Iowa State used to be called the Iowa Agricultural College and Model Farm.
2 Ohio State
On campus, one building has the ashes of trustee and former OSU cheerleader Herbert Atkinson sealed in the wall. The lights in that room stay on day and night.
15 Iona
Last year, Iona had to win a play-in game in Dayton in order to advance to the main bracket of 64 teams, but blew a 25-point lead and lost.
EAST REGION
1 Indiana
Indiana ranks 2nd in the nation in three-point shooting and 5th in offensive rebounding.
16 LIU Br/JMU
Two #16 seeds have come within one point of upsetting a 1-seed, both in 1989.
8 N.C. St.
The Wolfpack are returning 8 players from last year's Sweet 16 team, including their leading scorer (C.J. Leslie) and rebounder (Richard Howell).
9 Temple
Temple head coach Fran Dunphy has only won two NCAA tournament games over his 24-year career.
5 UNLV
The Runnin' Rebels' leading scorer and rebounder, freshman sensation Anthony Bennett, is from the basketball hotbed of Brampton, Ontario in Canada.
12 California
The Golden Bears are opening the tournament with what amounts to a home game in San Jose, CA, which is less than an hour away from Cal's campus.
4 Syracuse
Their last five losses came against top 25 opponents.
13 Montana
The Grizzlies' chances for an upset are very limited since they will be playing without their leading scorer, injured forward Mathias Ward.
6 Butler
This is no longer a Cinderella team - Butler has the second most NCAA tournament wins in all of college basketball since 2009.
11 Bucknell
The Bison will have the best player on the floor in this match-up. The 6'11" Mike Muscala is being touted as a legitimate first round NBA draft pick.
3 Marquette
Marquette had a losing record in away games this year.
14 Davidson
Current Golden State Warriors star Stephen Curry is Davidson's all-time leading scorer despite leaving the school after his junior year.
7 Illinois
The Illini were one of only two teams to beat Gonzaga this year and also beat Indiana when they were ranked #1.
10 Colorado
The Buffaloes feature the nation's second leading rebounder (11.3 RPG) in Andre Roberson.
2 Miami
Hurricanes head coach Jim Larranaga coached one of the all-time unlikeliest Final Four Cinderalla teams ever, the 2006 George Mason Patriots.
15 Pacific
One of the biggest draft busts in NBA history, Michael Olowokandi, played three years at Pacific and left the school as its all-time leading shot blocker before being drafted #1 overall in the 1998 NBA Draft.
