Most of us grew up watching Kevin McCallister set up an endless amount of booby traps for his foes Marv and Harry in the "Home Alone" movies. We all laughed as the Wet Bandits were continually attacked, and rightfully so. They were thieves and possible child murderers. But what would have happened if those injuries were sustained in real life? Of course it's hilarious when Daniel Stern lets out one of his signature cries, but what are the worst-case scenarios for each injury? We researched hours of medical stories to see the effects in real life. Here are the results.
Marv decides to peek through the doggie door of the McCallister home only to be greeted by Kevin who is waiting with a BB gun. While the worst-case scenario found of a BB gun to the face injury was fatal, most cases were not that severe, simply resulting in a laceration or small cut. Most likely this would not result in any serious injuries.
Marv tries to slip into the basement for a sneak attack. Unfortunately for him, the steps are covered in ice and he tumbles down what seems like a never-ending flight of steps. According to Healthtap, this kind of fall combined with Marv's age and size would probably result in head or spine injuries. While it could be severe, more than likely he's looking at bruises and possible bone fractures.
Kevin uses a device used to heat a pot of water to make the doorknob blazing hot. Harry, not noticing that the doorknob is glowing red, grabs and holds onto it for a few seconds as we hear his skin sizzle. In order for the doorknob to glow like that, it would need to be around 900 degrees. To put that into perspective, consider that coming in contact with water at 140º F would result in third-degree burns and lava is usually around 1300 degrees. Harry's hand would need immediate medical attention or he would risk losing his hand completely.
Harry goes around back, makes sure the doorknob isn't scorching hot, and slowly opens it. The door is rigged with a blowtorch attached to a string that blows fire onto his head as he enters. A blowtorch can reach temperatures up to 3500 degrees. Harry stands under the flame for almost ten seconds of direct contact. According to medical dictionaries, the result would be third-degree burns that would destroy the dermis and epidermis, as well as the fat, muscle, and bone. On a side note, don't ever do a Google image search for "third-degree burns" unless you'd like to avoid meals for a week.
Marv tries to turn on the light in the basement, but Kevin has replaced it with a cord attached to an iron, which falls from the laundry chute and smacks Marv in the face. Judging from the size of the iron and the distance that it falls, it could very well do significant head or brain damage to Marv - including blurred vision, being unconscious, seizures, episodes of vomiting or even going into a coma. The fact that the iron hits him directly in the face would almost guarantee facial fractures and broken bones.
Marv tries to slip in through the window only to find that Kevin has placed broken and jagged ornaments all over the floor. While the sound it made was absolutely horrible, this is a minor injury compared to the trauma Marv and Harry have suffered from the other booby traps. Most hospital data shows that an injury like this may need a few stitches at the most but probably wouldn't require any further medical treatment.
How this scene made it into a PG-rated movie, I will never know. We watch as Marv loses his shoes and socks from the tar on the stairs and then proceeds to step on a nail that buries itself several inches into his foot before he screams and tumbles back down into the basement. Here's what Medical News Today described as the possible consequences of stepping on a nail and not treating it:
"Infection with tetanus - bacteria that attack the nervous system - can cause severe muscle spasms, leading to 'locking' of the jaw so the patient cannot open his/her mouth or swallow, and may even lead to death by suffocation."
Who knows if Marv's jaw would have become locked from that or from the other facial injuries he received.
In what is probably the most popular booby trap, Kevin lures Marv and Harry up the stairs and begins pelting them with paint cans tied to the ceiling. Both Marv and Harry end up getting smashed in the face with the cans and fall back down to the first floor. Assuming the paint can is full, it weighs around nine pounds. Nine pounds of weight hitting you in the face with that speed and velocity would be more severe than the iron that hit Marv earlier and would probably knock out teeth, break bones and cause brain trauma. At this point, Marv and Harry are a complete wreck.
While we don't know what sort of pain threshold Marv and Harry possessed, it's safe to assume that after this Saw-like night of torment, jail would be a welcome escape. After a well-needed hospital visit, of course.
