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In a perfect world, none of you would have any idea what the term "juggalo" meant. You wouldn't see that ridiculous clown makeup that looks like a combination of the Joker and the nWo version of Sting. Unfortunately, we don't live in a perfect world, but instead a world that has made the Insane Clown Posse millionaire musicians. What if they weren't just a cult band, and their popularity became a global phenomenon?
Here's what 20 of your favorite public figures would look like in a Juggalo-run world. On a side note, I had to use the juggalo dictionary to describe these images. I don't naturally speak ICP.
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Here's Shrek looking like one of the Axe Murder Boys.
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Obama channeling his inner Big Hoodoo. (That's an artist on ICP's record label, for you non-juggalos.)
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Katy Perry has no love for the chickens. (Chickens are people who don't like juggalos. Don't be a chicken.)
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Walter White looks like he's been enjoying some cotton candy. (I think that's a sex term in ICP language, but I can't be certain.)
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Miley Cyrus is on her way to the carnival. (Not a fun carnival, the ICP Dark Carnival. It's less cheerful, but still a lot of carnies.)
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Woody always has to deal with hound dogs, which are juggalo fans that just won't leave you alone. Settle down, little clowns.
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Kanye West is the ultimate ninjalo. (That's when you take the word ninja and combine it with the word juggalo to make one big, stupid word.)
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Spongebob seems to be craving a refreshing Faygo, the official soft drink of the clown posse.
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Mrs. Doubtfire definitely had a deestfal. (That's when a juggalo has eaten too much ice cream and gets a headache. Apparently, that happens so much in their community they came up with a term for it.)
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"The Shining" features Jack breaking through the door with an axe, which happens to be a juggalo's favorite tool!
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Joe Biden has been accused of being a juffalo, which is a poser juggalo. (Let me assure you, he is not.)
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Beyonce is looking more like a Bianca here, huh? (That's a reference from the Tech N9ne song.)
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JFK was a true juggalo ryda. (That means he is down to "ryde" with you. I guess to the grocery store or Wendy's?)
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Nev from "Catfish" helps couples on the Internet say "Whoop Whoop!" to each other in person. (That's the unofficial jugglao greeting. Sure, why not?)
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"My Girl" is the touching story of a little juggalo and juggalette finding love when they least expected it.
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Tony Danza doesn't really care for muggalos. (Those are people who aren't juggalos. Pretty much exactly like in Harry Potter when they call non-wizards "muggles.")
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Shaq made a lot of skrilla during his career. (Can you guess what that means? It's money! Real money, too, not like juggalo bucks or coupons.)
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"Pulp Fiction" featured a lot of juggalos who died and went on to Shangri-La. (I assume that is Juggalo heaven, which sounds like a complete nightmare.)
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Grimmace looks like he came straight from Zug Izland. (I'm not even looking up what that means, but I'm assuming it's not a prestigious university.)
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Looks like Mandatory editors Max and Gary are pretty "assed out" in this picture. (That's a juggalo term, I swear.)
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