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Twitter1 of 20
Another week, another batch of the most hilarious tweets compiled just for you. Be sure to follow these guys and gals, and check back here every week for more jokes you can tell your friends and pretend you came up with them yourself. They'll think you're hilarious, but inside you'll be cold and dead.
Follow @robfee on Twitter.
In Finland when a baby is born you just whip a bunch of magnetic letters at the fridge and that's its name.
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Twitter2 of 20
The Fastest Way To Lose BodyFat? die.
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Twitter3 of 20
Be a writer, kids@ Have unfinished homework until you die!
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Twitter4 of 20
How much Wu could a Wu Tang Clan if a Wu Tang could Clan Wu.
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Twitter5 of 20
*walks into Babies R Us*
Hi I'd like to buy a baby.
"Sir we dont-"
*I slide him a 100 dollar bill*
"This way please."
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Twitter6 of 20
please don't ask me about my pan pizza, it's personal.
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Twitter7 of 20
*checks email* *checks Twitter* *checks Facebook* *checks Instagram* *looks up at world for 9 seconds* *repeats for 60-70 years* *dies*
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Twitter8 of 20
Can't believe this jerk in front of me is texting in a movie theater.
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Twitter9 of 20
"Excuse me sir, can you please beat me up? Oh, I'd also like you to sweat on me...And only wear your underwears." - MMA Fighters
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Twitter10 of 20
"I for one." --a Roman
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Twitter11 of 20
Not to suspicious but if kale is so great how come I didn't hear about it before 2009
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Twitter12 of 20
Q: How many internet teens does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: FUKK U LOL TROLLED U LOL U MAD YEA U MAD LOLOLOLOL
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Twitter13 of 20
Men think about sex every 7 seconds, which explains all the awkward pauses during Gettysburg Address
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Twitter14 of 20
I'd like to take a moment to point out to my 9th grade algebra teacher that I did amount to something & algebra had nothing to do with it.
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Twitter15 of 20
I know my dad is looking down on me and smiling, because he just slam dunked on me and is hanging on the rim
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Twitter16 of 20
If Frodo heads toward Mordor at 5km/h and Aragorn heads towards Mordor at 7km/h, how long until my friends come back?
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Twitter17 of 20
I'll sleep when my phone's dead.
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Twitter18 of 20
Jenga is a great way to teach your kids about strategy, patience and 9/11.
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Twitter19 of 20
Is AIDS still something we're worried about or have we kind of moved on to gluten now?
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Twitter20 of 20Next: Even More Hilarious Tweets
The person you will spend your whole life trying to please is the person whose cell phone will go off at your funeral.
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