Alcohol is a hell of a substance-it can make us geniuses or idiots, weaklings or superheroes. Explore ten tales of men and women who got massively blasted and used their booze powers to do incredibly badass things.
Man Swims From Canada to Detroit and Back
![badass things by drunk people, swim detroit river]()
The Detroit River is not a friendly waterway for swimmers-it's cold, fast and unpleasant. It's also illegal to swim in it. That's why border patrol agents don't typically worry about people using it to cross over into Michigan from Canada. That didn't stop a Windsor, Ontario, man named John Morillo, who got beered up one summer evening in 2013 and decided to make the passage. Stripping off his shirt, Morillo jumped in and managed to swim all the way to Detroit, Michigan, where he had a passer-by take his picture before diving back into the river to head for home. He ran out of steam on the way and his friends called the police to pull him out of the frigid water.
Woman Gets Run Over by Three Subway Trains
The subway is a tough thing to navigate sober, so it's not surprising that several drunks fall onto the tracks each year and are splattered from pillar to post in front of horrified commuters. But for 22-year-old Bronx woman Mary Downey, the trains weren't anywhere near tough enough to put her away. Downey entered the 49th Street station at 6 in the morning on a June Sunday after a long night of boozing, and while waiting for an N train lost her balance and fell onto the tracks. Seeing a train coming, she managed to position her body so that it would pass harmlessly over her, and once it left the station she rolled in between the tracks and the platform wall. Two more trains ran her over before an operator saw her lying there and called the police, but amazingly the only injury she sustained was a broken shoulder.
Safari Guide Charges Elephant
![badass things done by drunk people, charge an elephant]()
When you're in the wilds of Africa, you need to be respectful and aware of the great beasts that surround you. Or you can just get hammered and try to screw with them. In a shocking video that made the rounds in May of 2013, a safari guide employed by the Singita game reserve in South Africa got hammered and then jumped out of his Jeep to go one-on-one with a massive bull elephant. The sloshed guide charged directly at the animal while his friends cheered him on from relative safety. Luckily, he fell on his ass before he reached the beast's attack zone.
Man Rides Horse Into Bar
Cowboys often brought a little flask of firewater to keep themselves warm in the Wild West, but the case of Jeremy Rene Mouton goes a little beyond that. In August of 2018, Mouton saddled up and rode his horse right through the front door of Cowboy's Saloon in Scott, Louisiana. Patrons, quite naturally, asked him to leave. He did, then decided to ride around in the parking lot for a while. While there, he spotted a 47-year-old man and roped him with a lasso, rodeo-style, before dragging him around the lot. After people heard the man's screaming, Mouton released the rope and rode the horse home. He then walked back to the bar and tried to get a drink, only for cops to take him into custody.
Woman Jumps a Toll Booth
![badass things done by drunk people, ride up a toll booth]()
One thing about being drunk is that it strips away your respect for the pointless rules that the world saddles you with. Take Yasmine Villasana, who was pissed off at having to wait in a toll booth line at Dallas/Fort Worth International Airport. So she put her foot down-literally. Villasana hit the gas so hard that her Chevy Impala rocketed up and over the toll collector before bursting into flame upon landing. Villasana claimed that another car had rear-ended her and sent her flying, but a quick breathalyzer test revealed that she was just hammered, pissed off and didn't bring exact change. Most badass? She tried to get back into her car and drive away ... while it was on fire.
Chinese Woman Drifts 46 Miles Down the Yangtze River
The relaxation that comes when you're drunk has actually been credited with saving lives, and this story is an extreme example. In October of 2014, a Chinese woman named Shen Ailan downed a half liter of baiju, a brutally strong grain alcohol. With the confidence of the drunkard, she then decided that she was in good shape to go swimming in the Yangtze. While in the water, she passed out into a drunken stupor and didn't wake up for ten hours, 46 miles downstream from where she started. Amazingly, she suffered no serious injuries, but when rescuers fished her out she still smelled overwhelmingly of alcohol.
Man Rides a Crocodile
![badass things done by drunk people, ride crocodile]()
The human brain has certain responses that are ingrained into our subconscious minds-even if we've never been menaced by a crocodile, for example, we still know to keep away from them because of their powerful jaws and rapacious hunger. When you're drunk, however, those responses get short-circuited. That's the only explanation we can come up with for why a sloshed dude in Perth, Australia, decided to break into a zoo and hop on the back of Fatso the crocodile. The man had previously been 86'd from a local bar, and managed to climb over a barbed wire fence to get to the crocodile. When he sat down on the animal's back, it pivoted and clamped down on his right leg. Luckily for him, Fatso let go and he managed to escape to safety.
Woman Shows Up at Jail Naked to Visit Husband![maura fussell mug shit]()
Being drunk does funny things to your emotions-it makes them much more intense. So when Maura Fussell of Reston, Virginia, got lonely for her husband who had been arrested earlier that day, she decided to head down to the station to pay him a conjugal visit. And, just to demonstrate how serious she was, Fussell did it completely naked. We're not sure how many drinks the woman had before she hatched her daring and sexy plan, but police were unimpressed by her amorous intent. After she refused to put her clothes or leave in a taxi, Arlington cops ended up taking her into custody on indecent exposure charges. They let her go after she sobered up the next morning.
Woman Steals Ferry
One of the most common side effects of intoxication is the realization that laws are just social constructs, and there's nothing inherently "bad" about breaking them. That's what prompted a woman named Alison Whelan, sloshed on Lambrini, to climb aboard a 100-passenger ferry on the River Dart, let it loose from its moorings and take the boat for a cruise. Sure, she didn't know how to steer the boat (and ended up ramming into multiple other vessels), but she had the presence of mind to mock police trying to stop her, yelling, "I'm Jack Sparrow! I'm a pirate!" as she drifted along. After an hour, the ferry hit water slow-moving enough for police to board it and take Whelan into custody.
Man Climbs Bridge, Falls Asleep
![badass things done by drunk people, fall asleep on a bridge]()
The greatest gift alcohol gives us is the ability to fall asleep pretty much anywhere, and Serbian man Ivan Tolvich took advantage of that in June of 2013. With the confidence that comes from being blackout drunk, Tolvich decided to walk home after a night of heavy boozing. When he reached Belgrade's Sava Bridge, Ivan missed the entrance to the passenger walkway and decided, like a badass, to just climb to the top of the bridge's 70-foot arch instead. All that death-defying made him a little tired, though, so after ascending 23 feet, he rested his head and fell asleep. Rescuers couldn't manage to wake him, so a safety harness was placed around his slumbering form and he was lowered to the ground.
Man Swims From Canada to Detroit and Back
The Detroit River is not a friendly waterway for swimmers-it's cold, fast and unpleasant. It's also illegal to swim in it. That's why border patrol agents don't typically worry about people using it to cross over into Michigan from Canada. That didn't stop a Windsor, Ontario, man named John Morillo, who got beered up one summer evening in 2013 and decided to make the passage. Stripping off his shirt, Morillo jumped in and managed to swim all the way to Detroit, Michigan, where he had a passer-by take his picture before diving back into the river to head for home. He ran out of steam on the way and his friends called the police to pull him out of the frigid water.
Woman Gets Run Over by Three Subway Trains
The subway is a tough thing to navigate sober, so it's not surprising that several drunks fall onto the tracks each year and are splattered from pillar to post in front of horrified commuters. But for 22-year-old Bronx woman Mary Downey, the trains weren't anywhere near tough enough to put her away. Downey entered the 49th Street station at 6 in the morning on a June Sunday after a long night of boozing, and while waiting for an N train lost her balance and fell onto the tracks. Seeing a train coming, she managed to position her body so that it would pass harmlessly over her, and once it left the station she rolled in between the tracks and the platform wall. Two more trains ran her over before an operator saw her lying there and called the police, but amazingly the only injury she sustained was a broken shoulder.
Safari Guide Charges Elephant
When you're in the wilds of Africa, you need to be respectful and aware of the great beasts that surround you. Or you can just get hammered and try to screw with them. In a shocking video that made the rounds in May of 2013, a safari guide employed by the Singita game reserve in South Africa got hammered and then jumped out of his Jeep to go one-on-one with a massive bull elephant. The sloshed guide charged directly at the animal while his friends cheered him on from relative safety. Luckily, he fell on his ass before he reached the beast's attack zone.
Man Rides Horse Into Bar
Cowboys often brought a little flask of firewater to keep themselves warm in the Wild West, but the case of Jeremy Rene Mouton goes a little beyond that. In August of 2018, Mouton saddled up and rode his horse right through the front door of Cowboy's Saloon in Scott, Louisiana. Patrons, quite naturally, asked him to leave. He did, then decided to ride around in the parking lot for a while. While there, he spotted a 47-year-old man and roped him with a lasso, rodeo-style, before dragging him around the lot. After people heard the man's screaming, Mouton released the rope and rode the horse home. He then walked back to the bar and tried to get a drink, only for cops to take him into custody.
Woman Jumps a Toll Booth
One thing about being drunk is that it strips away your respect for the pointless rules that the world saddles you with. Take Yasmine Villasana, who was pissed off at having to wait in a toll booth line at Dallas/Fort Worth International Airport. So she put her foot down-literally. Villasana hit the gas so hard that her Chevy Impala rocketed up and over the toll collector before bursting into flame upon landing. Villasana claimed that another car had rear-ended her and sent her flying, but a quick breathalyzer test revealed that she was just hammered, pissed off and didn't bring exact change. Most badass? She tried to get back into her car and drive away ... while it was on fire.
Chinese Woman Drifts 46 Miles Down the Yangtze River
The relaxation that comes when you're drunk has actually been credited with saving lives, and this story is an extreme example. In October of 2014, a Chinese woman named Shen Ailan downed a half liter of baiju, a brutally strong grain alcohol. With the confidence of the drunkard, she then decided that she was in good shape to go swimming in the Yangtze. While in the water, she passed out into a drunken stupor and didn't wake up for ten hours, 46 miles downstream from where she started. Amazingly, she suffered no serious injuries, but when rescuers fished her out she still smelled overwhelmingly of alcohol.
Man Rides a Crocodile
The human brain has certain responses that are ingrained into our subconscious minds-even if we've never been menaced by a crocodile, for example, we still know to keep away from them because of their powerful jaws and rapacious hunger. When you're drunk, however, those responses get short-circuited. That's the only explanation we can come up with for why a sloshed dude in Perth, Australia, decided to break into a zoo and hop on the back of Fatso the crocodile. The man had previously been 86'd from a local bar, and managed to climb over a barbed wire fence to get to the crocodile. When he sat down on the animal's back, it pivoted and clamped down on his right leg. Luckily for him, Fatso let go and he managed to escape to safety.
Woman Shows Up at Jail Naked to Visit Husband
Being drunk does funny things to your emotions-it makes them much more intense. So when Maura Fussell of Reston, Virginia, got lonely for her husband who had been arrested earlier that day, she decided to head down to the station to pay him a conjugal visit. And, just to demonstrate how serious she was, Fussell did it completely naked. We're not sure how many drinks the woman had before she hatched her daring and sexy plan, but police were unimpressed by her amorous intent. After she refused to put her clothes or leave in a taxi, Arlington cops ended up taking her into custody on indecent exposure charges. They let her go after she sobered up the next morning.
Woman Steals Ferry
One of the most common side effects of intoxication is the realization that laws are just social constructs, and there's nothing inherently "bad" about breaking them. That's what prompted a woman named Alison Whelan, sloshed on Lambrini, to climb aboard a 100-passenger ferry on the River Dart, let it loose from its moorings and take the boat for a cruise. Sure, she didn't know how to steer the boat (and ended up ramming into multiple other vessels), but she had the presence of mind to mock police trying to stop her, yelling, "I'm Jack Sparrow! I'm a pirate!" as she drifted along. After an hour, the ferry hit water slow-moving enough for police to board it and take Whelan into custody.
Man Climbs Bridge, Falls Asleep
The greatest gift alcohol gives us is the ability to fall asleep pretty much anywhere, and Serbian man Ivan Tolvich took advantage of that in June of 2013. With the confidence that comes from being blackout drunk, Tolvich decided to walk home after a night of heavy boozing. When he reached Belgrade's Sava Bridge, Ivan missed the entrance to the passenger walkway and decided, like a badass, to just climb to the top of the bridge's 70-foot arch instead. All that death-defying made him a little tired, though, so after ascending 23 feet, he rested his head and fell asleep. Rescuers couldn't manage to wake him, so a safety harness was placed around his slumbering form and he was lowered to the ground.