Florida's Craziest News Headlines

Jeez, it's like these cops WANT this dead guy's plants to die.

Well, corn dogs are pretty delicious.

What's worse: Messing with a man's corn dog, or messing with a man's cat? (Either answer will get you stabbed in Florida.)

Be sure to check out the Sun Sentinel's FloriDUH Blog for more awesomely terrifying Florida headlines.

The look on that man's face says, "I can't believe someone elected me for anything."

Where else is she supposed to look for the cigarettes? 

Be sure to check out the Sun Sentinel's FloriDUH Blog for more awesomely terrifying Florida headlines.

OK, so this one makes me a little sad.

Are they sure this wasn't just a scene from Rush Hour 3?

Be sure to check out the Sun Sentinel's FloriDUH Blog for more awesomely terrifying Florida headlines.

I wonder if he was better than the bedspread guy.

Serious question: How else are you supposed to squeeze a butt?

Be sure to check out the Sun Sentinel's FloriDUH Blog for more awesomely terrifying Florida headlines.

I don't want to live in this world anymore.

God sounds like an awesome guy to go on a road trip with.

Be sure to check out the Sun Sentinel's FloriDUH Blog for more awesomely terrifying Florida headlines.

The best defense is the "what do you mean I can't ____" defense. Especially when it comes to wife beating.

Be sure to check out the Sun Sentinel's FloriDUH Blog for more awesomely terrifying Florida headlines.

This guy's day went from bad ("Oh crap I hit a deer) to worse ("Oh crap I got arrested cause the cops found meth in the car that used to just hit a deer".)

To be honest, riding a manatee sounds awesome and who would've thought it was illegal?

Remind me to never go to Florida on Halloween.

Be sure to check out the Sun Sentinel's FloriDUH Blog for more awesomely terrifying Florida headlines.

This is how I imagine those 11 hours went:

Police: Please get out of the tree.

Man: No.

Repeat

It's going to be a lot harder to shoot your neighbor when you're in prison.

Honestly, what's the end game from slapping a horse (police, or not)? Satisfaction because the horse has wronged you? I'm confused.

I'll drink to that guy.

Be sure to check out the Sun Sentinel's FloriDUH Blog for more awesomely terrifying Florida headlines.

Let me help you out here and give you the three possible reasons:

1. The wife and in-laws were really annoying.

2. You're batshit insane.

3. All of the above.

Fight the power. (And your bladder.)

Helpful tip: Babies are probably not good at being shield because they are really soft and squishy.

And that might be moonshine in my mouth but I'm not drinking moonshine.

Be sure to check out the Sun Sentinel's FloriDUH Blog for more awesomely terrifying Florida headlines.

This is really the only way Florida will be able to save itself.

"Phony" dentist? More like "thorough" dentist.