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The Ultimate Guide To Foolproof Pickup Lines

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Pickup lines should never be delivered as pickup lines, but more as a joke to showcase one's wittiness. The more clever it is, the better chance you have at getting to know the cutie at the bar. A pickup line should be a way of determining if she's willing to connect.

Since that's the case, I've scoured the Internet for the greatest pickup lines to impress a woman, as well as those that could result in you heading home alone in a cab with nothing more than the pink impression of said woman's fragile hand tattooed on your face.

But first, some of the worst (because they're either cheesy as hell, used too much, or are just hilariously offensive):

"What's the difference between a Ferrari and an erection? I don't have a Ferrari."

Worst Pick Up Lines
"Are you from Iraq? Because I like the way you Baghdad ass up."

"There will only be seven planets left after I destroy Uranus."

"If you were a vegetable, you'd be a cute-cumber."

"Do I know you? Because you look an awful lot like my next girlfriend."

"Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see."

"Can I follow you home? Because my parents always told me to follow my dreams."


Next, we have some lines that are clever and non-offensive, but still have potential to fail:

"Are you a fruit? Because honeydew you know how fine you look right now?"

Worst Pick Up Lines
"Hi, my name is [your name], but you can call me tonight."

"I'm not actually this tall. I'm just sitting on my wallet."

"Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?"

Worst Pick Up Lines
"Seeing you is like getting the 11th McNugget in a 10-piece meal."

"Want to go halfsies on a bastard child?" (Okay, this one's slightly offensive.)

"You're hotter than the bottom of my laptop."

"Are you an orphanage? Because I want to give you my children." (This one, too.)

Worst Pick Up Lines

"Is your name WiFi? Because I'm feeling a connection."

"Hi there, I'm doing a survey -- what's your name?"

"I think there's something wrong with my phone. Could you try calling me and see if it rings?"

Worst Pick Up Lines
"I wish I was your derivative so I could lie tangent on your curves." (For the nerds out there)

"Are you Irish? Because when I look at you, my penis is Dublin."


Finally, for the ultimate foolproof pickup lines:

"Can I take you out to dinner? Just smile for yes, or do a backflip for no."

"Want to eat cookie dough together sometime?"

"I bet you $10 you're going to turn me down."

"My buddies bet me that I wouldn't be able to start a conversation with the most beautiful girl in the bar. Want to buy some drinks with their money?"

"Want to have good sex?: [She says no.] "Then come to my place!"

Related: 15 Foolproof Pickup Lines (Sort Of)

 

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