Follow @robfee on Twitter.
A good prank is that you can donate your body to anyone, not just science
- Pixelated Boat (@pixelatedboat) December 3, 2015
[High school reunion] Hey guys! Remember me!? "No" How about now? *puts an entire toilet on my head* (in unison) CHRIS!
- Tommytoughstuff (@Tommytoughstuff) August 17, 2015
when u deliver a sick burn and ur friend got ur back pic.twitter.com/AGJ99qH01l
- Sophia Benoit (@1followernodad) December 5, 2015
What if you met your soulmate but he loved to clap when the plane lands?
- alix (@alixmcalpine) June 1, 2015
haha remember when you were a kid you'd hide inside the clothes racks at stores. can't do that as an adult. someone's stupid kid is in there
- tara shoe (@tarashoe) December 5, 2015
"smh this is why u gotta take them swimming on the first date" -man who keeps accidentally dating tortoises instead of turtles
- treasure✨ (@imteddybless) December 5, 2015
when u go from being a community college student 2 a jaded harvard professor pic.twitter.com/qpCx3HZWns
- BRANDON WARDELL (@BRANDONWARDELL) December 4, 2015
"Hi, 2 people for dinner" "I have a table overlooking the ocean" "Is it near a power outlet? My phone's dying" "No" "Fuck you-we're leaving"
- Lauren Reeves (@laurenreeves) December 5, 2015
Unbelievable. pic.twitter.com/a1tTp091X9
- Paul (@FrenulumBreve) December 1, 2015
DOG OWNER: Who's a good boy! [dog wags tail excitedly] DOG OWNER: You are! Yes you are [I emerge from the bushes] I am also a good boy
- Dan O'Brien (@OtherDanOBrien) September 23, 2015
*sits 27 hours for an oil on canvas portrait* omg delete that. Bartholomew i'm serious do not fucking hang that in the Great Hall
- Conor Tripler (@ConorTripler) November 29, 2015
Opinions are like assholes. I shared mine on the internet and strangers got mad at me
- Rad Kyle (@KyleMcDowell86) September 18, 2015
I pause my TV on a group of ppl laughing, then tell them a funny story about my dog. & it's like we're all laughing!! pic.twitter.com/JBnxsFrHce
- sicily (@toomanytoes) July 7, 2015
"I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here" was originally going to be called 'I will literally eat horse dick to be on TV again'
- Adam Hess (@adamhess1) December 10, 2015
Skincare tips: stay away from sunlight, drink plenty of cave river water, turn into an immortal salamander. pic.twitter.com/mnEWbV069r
- the sex pooper (@lonelydandruff) December 1, 2015
I'd like to get a haircut. "Sure, which stranger do you want touching your head and talking for thirty straight minutes?" Uhhh... him?
- Joe Kelly (@joekellyjk47) December 8, 2015
when ur a dedicated detective that investigates these vicious felonies but ur crush walks by pic.twitter.com/OBjvIO0UAb
- me, an intellectual (@eatyeIlow) November 30, 2015
I'm drunk so I'll just fuckin say it: Those dudes in Big were way too good way too fast at the floor piano
- Dan Hopper (@DanHopp) November 30, 2015
*swerves onto exit 208* Sorry mom something came up pic.twitter.com/1aAc8iuFIo
- Leah Tiscione (@LeahTiscione) September 1, 2015
at Forever 31 everything is way more expensive and none of it makes you happy anymore
- the garbage shit boy (@davedittell) January 7, 2015
Want more? Check out last week's hilarious tweets.