I have yet to meet a person who doesn't like Mario Kart. From its inception on Super Nintendo to the latest iteration on Wii U, Mario Kart has always been a classic for guys and girls alike. For some reason, we love the idea of putting each other's relationships to the test by deliberately smashing each other on deceptively colorful tracks with the goal of watching our selected racer cruise to the top of the podium.
A big determining factor for our rank on the podium is how well we use the items available on the track. And based on the items available for Mario Kart 64 (arguably the best of the collection), these are how its 13 items rank in terms of effectiveness.
13. Banana
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The only thing worse than receiving a banana when the lottery box spins above your racer is – no, there's actually nothing more disappointing than that. It is, without question, the least desired item of the bunch. For starters, slipping on one doesn't even stop racers in their tracks, (you just kind of spin out while moving forward) and on top of that, they're easily avoidable.
12. Fake Item
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Fake items are best used when strategically hidden within a lineup of real items. If you choose not to do this, the item is too obviously fake and becomes useless – only an amateur would collide with it.
11. Green Shell
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Best for blocking an incoming red shell, the inferior green shell is best utilized for defensive purposes. When opting to go offensive, the green shell is only advantageous when another cart is directly in front of you, as green shells require expert aim to actually collide with another racer.
10. Triple Mushrooms
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A speed boost is nice in any race, but these mushrooms don't do much, and if used when turning a corner, you're probably going to end up on rougher terrain, nullifying your speedy advantage. Ultimately, triple mushrooms is neither advantageous nor disappointing, and are gotten rid of before the next (hopefully better) item becomes available.
9. Banana Bunch
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As a racer with a banana bunch tailing behind you, you're a roaming road hazard to everybody. Whether you choose to keep them behind you as a tail for somebody to slip on if they follow too close, or you unleash six unavoidable banana peels that stretch across the track, the banana bunch is a disappointing item only because they aren't effective at harming racers in front of you.
8. Boo
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Boo is a gamble, which is why it's not a top-ranking item. Boo is only effective if you steal an item that's of use to you – which is rarely the case. Invisibility is another advantage of Boo, but only for avoiding incoming items; you don't move any faster or boast any other aid or advantage.
7. Triple Green Shell
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The triple green shell is a mostly defensive item that effectively protects your racer from incoming items – as long as there's three. It can also be used offensively if you choose to deliberately run into somebody trailing closely behind you, or shooting somebody directly in front of you.
6. Red Shell
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Just as effective offensively as it is defensively, the red shell tells the driver in front of them that they're in for a lot of hurt. The only disadvantage to the red shell is when it's shot near a corner, the shell can come in contact with a wall instead of another racer. But that's just being sloppy.
5. Super Mushroom
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Clik here to view.![Mario Kart Items Ranked By Effectiveness, red mushroom]()
The super mushroom is the best, most generous of all speed-related items, but it's greatest disadvantage is that it overrides your chances at snatching another item at the next opportunity.
4. Spiny Shell
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Clik here to view.![Mario Kart Items Ranked By Effectiveness, spiny shell]()
No matter what your ranking happens to be, the spiny blue shell will seek out the lead racer and destroy everybody on its path. While you usually only get the spiny shell when you're falling ridiculously far behind, the spiny shell offers first-place aspirations, and sometimes when a race really isn't going well, that's all you can ask for.
3. Triple Red Shell
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Clik here to view.![Mario Kart Items Ranked By Effectiveness, triple red shell]()
The red shell is already a fantastic item to receive; now you have three. Keep them in your arsenal and unload when you're close to the finish line to really piss your buddy off.
2. Thunderbolt
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Clik here to view.![Mario Kart Items Ranked By Effectiveness, thunderbolt]()
The thunderbolt is the ultimate offensive item. Not only do you shrink all racers to an eighth of their original size causing them to move extraordinarily slow, but you also get to drive over and crush them like tiny ants. You feel powerful. If used strategically, you can strike strike when a racer is turning a sharp corner, throwing them completely off track and out of the running.
1. Super Star
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Clik here to view.![Mario Kart Items Ranked By Effectiveness, super star]()
With the super star, you're literally untouchable. If that wasn't enough, you're faster than any racer on the track as well – no mushroom comes close. Receiving the super star item is, essentially, winning the Mario Kart item lottery.
Related: Mario from 'Super Mario Bros.' May Be A Delusional Stalker In Real Life
A big determining factor for our rank on the podium is how well we use the items available on the track. And based on the items available for Mario Kart 64 (arguably the best of the collection), these are how its 13 items rank in terms of effectiveness.
13. Banana
Image may be NSFW.
Clik here to view.
The only thing worse than receiving a banana when the lottery box spins above your racer is – no, there's actually nothing more disappointing than that. It is, without question, the least desired item of the bunch. For starters, slipping on one doesn't even stop racers in their tracks, (you just kind of spin out while moving forward) and on top of that, they're easily avoidable.
12. Fake Item
Image may be NSFW.
Clik here to view.
Fake items are best used when strategically hidden within a lineup of real items. If you choose not to do this, the item is too obviously fake and becomes useless – only an amateur would collide with it.
11. Green Shell
Image may be NSFW.
Clik here to view.
Best for blocking an incoming red shell, the inferior green shell is best utilized for defensive purposes. When opting to go offensive, the green shell is only advantageous when another cart is directly in front of you, as green shells require expert aim to actually collide with another racer.
10. Triple Mushrooms
Image may be NSFW.
Clik here to view.
A speed boost is nice in any race, but these mushrooms don't do much, and if used when turning a corner, you're probably going to end up on rougher terrain, nullifying your speedy advantage. Ultimately, triple mushrooms is neither advantageous nor disappointing, and are gotten rid of before the next (hopefully better) item becomes available.
9. Banana Bunch
Image may be NSFW.
Clik here to view.
As a racer with a banana bunch tailing behind you, you're a roaming road hazard to everybody. Whether you choose to keep them behind you as a tail for somebody to slip on if they follow too close, or you unleash six unavoidable banana peels that stretch across the track, the banana bunch is a disappointing item only because they aren't effective at harming racers in front of you.
8. Boo
Image may be NSFW.
Clik here to view.
Boo is a gamble, which is why it's not a top-ranking item. Boo is only effective if you steal an item that's of use to you – which is rarely the case. Invisibility is another advantage of Boo, but only for avoiding incoming items; you don't move any faster or boast any other aid or advantage.
7. Triple Green Shell
Image may be NSFW.
Clik here to view.
The triple green shell is a mostly defensive item that effectively protects your racer from incoming items – as long as there's three. It can also be used offensively if you choose to deliberately run into somebody trailing closely behind you, or shooting somebody directly in front of you.
6. Red Shell
Image may be NSFW.
Clik here to view.
Just as effective offensively as it is defensively, the red shell tells the driver in front of them that they're in for a lot of hurt. The only disadvantage to the red shell is when it's shot near a corner, the shell can come in contact with a wall instead of another racer. But that's just being sloppy.
5. Super Mushroom
Image may be NSFW.
Clik here to view.
The super mushroom is the best, most generous of all speed-related items, but it's greatest disadvantage is that it overrides your chances at snatching another item at the next opportunity.
4. Spiny Shell
Image may be NSFW.
Clik here to view.
No matter what your ranking happens to be, the spiny blue shell will seek out the lead racer and destroy everybody on its path. While you usually only get the spiny shell when you're falling ridiculously far behind, the spiny shell offers first-place aspirations, and sometimes when a race really isn't going well, that's all you can ask for.
3. Triple Red Shell
Image may be NSFW.
Clik here to view.
The red shell is already a fantastic item to receive; now you have three. Keep them in your arsenal and unload when you're close to the finish line to really piss your buddy off.
2. Thunderbolt
Image may be NSFW.
Clik here to view.
The thunderbolt is the ultimate offensive item. Not only do you shrink all racers to an eighth of their original size causing them to move extraordinarily slow, but you also get to drive over and crush them like tiny ants. You feel powerful. If used strategically, you can strike strike when a racer is turning a sharp corner, throwing them completely off track and out of the running.
1. Super Star
Image may be NSFW.
Clik here to view.
With the super star, you're literally untouchable. If that wasn't enough, you're faster than any racer on the track as well – no mushroom comes close. Receiving the super star item is, essentially, winning the Mario Kart item lottery.
Related: Mario from 'Super Mario Bros.' May Be A Delusional Stalker In Real Life