The 2013 Girlfriend Gift Guide for Clueless Guys Like You
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The Richest Porn Stars in the Industry
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The Most Insane Labor Disputes in History
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10 Things in the Hobbit Movies That Were Never in the Book
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The Most Enjoyable Bowling Fail GIFs on the Internet
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Barack Obama and John Boehner Play Truth or Dare Over Instant Messenger
What would happen if the Speaker of the U.S. House of Representatives and the leader of the free world hopped online to play truth or dare? Pretty sure exactly this.
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The Ups and Downs of Fantasy Football
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Today's Funniest Photos 12-4-13
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Exclusive "Wolf of Wall Street" Clip
If you didn't already want to see the Scorsese and DiCaprio-lead "Wolf of Wall Street" then watch this clip. Then ask yourself why you didn't already want to see this movie. (Seriously, you need to make better life choices, man.)
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Sophia Thomalla is One Hot Tamale
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2013 Holiday Spirits Gift Guide
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The 25 Best Episodes of 'The Office'
Not since "Seinfeld" or "Friends" had NBC struck comedy gold like it did with "The Office." Since 2005 the Dunder Mifflin staff entertained us with their mockumentary until the series ended in 2013. Here's a look at the 25 greatest episodes of the series that made your boss seem incredibly competent, yet horribly boring.
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25. Beach Games - S03, E23
What started out as silly individual competitions quickly escalated when Michael revealed the winner would get his job when he left for corporate.
24. The Convention - S03, E02
This is the episode where we learned that supply conventions may be about paper during the day, but once the sun goes down they turn into drunken orgies. At least according to Michael Scott.
23. The Merger - S03, E08
The Scranton and Samford branches finally became one, but watching the new employees try to deal with and figure out Michael is absolutely hilarious. This was also the first Andy/Michael encounter.
22. The Duel - S05, E12
Andy finds out what's really been going on with Dwight and Angela so he ends up trapping Dwight in the parking lot against a wall of shrubbery with his Prius.
21. Stress Relief - S05, E14-15
Dwight causes Stanley to have a heart attack when he starts a fire in the office. To alleviate the tension, Michael plans a roast that goes horribly wrong. One of the best moments of the entire series happened when Angela tried to save her cats during the fire.
20. Launch Party - S04, E03
Michael mistakes a web invite for an invite to an actual party in New York City. When he realizes Ryan doesn't respect him, he kidnaps a pizza delivery boy.
19. The Deposition - S04, E08
Jan attempts to sue Dunder Mifflin with Michael as a key witness. Things go fantastically wrong when Michael learns Jan's true feelings about him. There are so many great moments in this episode.
18. Goodbye Michael - S07, E20
Michael Scott's final day at Dunder Mifflin was a bittersweet one, but turned absolutely brilliant as he tried to tell everyone goodbye without letting them know that it was actually his last day there. It's a perfect sendoff to a fantastic character.
17. Niagara - S06, E04-05
All of the Jim and Pam relationship drama finally resolved with their wedding at Niagara Falls that saw Michael hook up with Pam's mom and Andy puncture his scrotum with car keys.
16. Halloween - S02, E05
This was the first of many great Halloween episodes for the show, but maybe the highlight of this one is that it's the first time we get are introduced to the true insanity that is Creed Bratton.
15. Booze Cruise - S02, E11
Jim decides to confide in Michael about his feelings for Pam, which Michael attempts to overthrow Rob Riggle as captain of the ship.
14. Safety Training - S03, E20
Michael feels like the warehouse guys don't respect him and don't understand the consequences of depression, so he plans on faking a suicide by jumping off the top of the building and landing on a bounce house. It would have, of course, actually killed him if he did it.
13. Casino Night - S02, E22
Not only do we get Kevin's tribute band to the Police called Scrantonicity, but this is also where Jim finally tells Pam he loves her. Awww!
12. Threat Level Midnight - S07, E17
Michael shows the gang his completed film that stars past and present Dunder Mifflin employees. It's totally different from every other episode of The Office, but in the best way possible.
11. Diversity Day - S01, E02
The first episode of The Office feels like a parody of the British version, but in the second episode Michael Scott set the tone for how clueless and yet horribly offensive he would become.
10. The Negotiation - S03, E19
Michael realizes he has to ask for a raise since Darryl would be making more than him if he got one, so they head to corporate for a meeting where Darryl taught Michael the oh so commonly used phrase, "Bippity boppity, give me the zoppity."
9. Scott's Tots - S06, E12
The ultimate Michael Scott goof came to fruition when the kids he had promised to pay their college tuition had to be told that he doesn't have the money to back up his promise.
8. The Return - S03, E14
Dwight was working at Staples until Michael finally went to get him back, but what makes this episode so fantastic was the cell phone prank Jim and Pam played on Andy that left him with his fist through a wall.
7. The Dundies - S02, E01
Jim and Pam are at their most Jim and Pam at The Dundies Award Ceremony, and accompany that with Michael and Dwight trying to host the event like an actual awards show makes for one of the finest episodes of the series.
6. Business School - S03, E16
Michael goes to Ryan's class and attempts to inspire a generation. I'm not sure what the opposite of inspire is, but that's what Michael accomplished by the end of the class. There's also a really sweet moment at the end of the episode with Michael attending Pam's art show that's ruined by a candy bar in his pocket.
5. The Job - S03, E23
Michael, Karen, and Jim are all competing for a job at corporate that, unbeknownst to Michael, belongs to his girlfriend Jan. Meanwhile Dwight becomes the temporary Regional Manager and loses his mind with absolute power.
4. Fun Run - S04, E01
The episode starts out with Michael hitting Meredith with his car. If that wasn't enough it ends with Michael putting together a 5K for Rabies Awareness that sees Andy suffer with the horrible consequences of nipple bleeding.
3. Gay Witch Hunt - S03, E01
Michael finds out Oscar is gay and handles it exactly as you'd think Michael would; in the worst possible way. Michael and Oscar do end up sharing one of the worst on screen kisses in the history of television, but it's just so hilarious you can't look away.
2. The Injury - S02, E12
Not only is Dwight's behavior after getting a concussion hilarious, the entire story of Michael burning his foot on a Foreman Grill because he likes to wake up to the sound of crackling bacon every morning is amazing. The Office was rarely more perfect than this.
1. Dinner Party - S04, E09
There are so many perfect moments in this episode. Just the glimpse into Michael and Jan's private life is brilliant, but when everything goes wrong and the couple spirals into an inevitable fight, few things are funnier. I just wish I could buy Hunter's single on iTunes.
All images courtesy of NBC/Photofest
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This Baby Has Something Very Important To Tell You
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Kids Say The Creepiest and Most Terrifying Things
So a long time ago, Reddit started a thread about all the creepy and bizarre things children say to their parents. Judging by the below responses, we are all raising a generation of future psychopaths.
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Today's NFL Quarterbacks If They Were Bald
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The Hobbit Family Tree
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Today's Funniest Photos 12-5-13
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The Funniest GIFs of the Week - December 5, 2013
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Sexy Danielle Sharp Brings Big Breasts
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The Joys and Pitfalls of Self-Publishing
Lots of us have big plans for our work when it comes to publishing. Some of us want the attention of hoards of crazy fans, a cult following or our book in the window of one of the last remaining bookstores. The rest are self-pu![Man in kitchen is thinking and writing]()
blishers who just want to share it quickly in their own style and let the chips fall where they may.
Self-publishing has grown as a popular approach for sharing one's work, and although the fruits of their labor might resemble more of a handful than a bushel, there are plenty of perks to this self-starter mode of publication. But is it enough to outweigh the cons? Read on and decide for yourself.
No Deadline
It's the least favorite word in any creative's dictionary. No matter how ahead of the timeline you are, the deadline always stares back at you like a time bomb waiting to ruin your train of thought. Self-publishing removes that illusion of a finish date, which allows the creative to focus on the work when he needs to, not forcing the work, letting it arrive as inspired spurts of good ideas.
Not having a deadline also allows time to get some constructive feedback and revise. When you're too close to a project, it's easy to be stubborn and hold onto needless aspects of your work. Getting feedback bestows an opportunity to step back and be mildly objective, which forces the work to progressively improve. Your first draft is never your final draft, not unless you're Bukowski.
Creative Freedom
Unleashing your inner control freak allows you to make every detail just as you like without the pest of an editor or publisher - like that of a suspicious, frumpy teacher who hovers above to see if you're cheating - telling you it needs more this, less that or fewer decapitated characters in this potential children's book.
There's no worry of having to pander to what anybody else wants, anything that obstructs your creative vision; it's just you and your work. Because when you succumb to the demand of external forces - what you think others want instead of what you think people need to see - it loses its luster, and then your focus becomes more about finishing the damn thing than enjoying its charm.
First Timer Failure
It's great to have creative freedom and no restrictive deadlines, but there comes a point when that becomes counterproductive. Creative freedom is only good if there's a voice of reason - yourself or someone who's experienced in the field - to call you out when your work is lacking or overcooked.
Not having a deadline does give creative space to allow good work to come through as it wishes, but too much space gives a creative person too much time to second-guess their work, add things that don't need to be added and cloud their vision. Sometimes it's just best to have the experienced eyes of a publisher who can tell very quickly if the work is ready or still needs some polishing.
Faster Release
In a self-publishing situation, once the book is the finished, it's ready for consumption. A publisher, or multiple publishers, will take their time on deciding if your work is right for them, if it's right but needs more work or if you just plum suck. Even a simple "no" could take weeks to get from a publisher's desk. Self-publishing allows you to share instantly, which in day and age, seems appropriate. From there, you can gauge people's reactions. Is it catching on? Do I need the help of a publisher to actually reach the crowd I'm trying to share this with?
Instant gratification feels good at first, but ultimately there is a bigger picture to look at. You don't want to blow your load during the previews when the film is four hours long, no?
Reach
Speaking of reach, you probably don't have one much further than you can piss after (chugging a trenta Starbucks), at least if you're new to the publishing world. Outside of Facebook friends and Twitter followers you've never met, your work won't see the light of too many days in this way if you don't have the right tools for the job.
A publisher, on the other hand, has a far better reach, not to mention locations to sell the work out of. If you think your work is good enough, important enough to share with the world, don't sell yourself short by being im![young attractive guy in a bookstore]()
pulsive, greedy or just plum silly; take the time to find a publisher who would best serve your work and take it one step at a time to getting where you need to be.
Branding Yourself as You Envision
You write a book that you stand proud of, then your publisher asks for another and another and before you know it, bam, you're James Patterson. Although self-published authors do have a tendency to be seen as unsuccessful, as someone who couldn't book it, so to speak, there's something to be said about not becoming "that guy."
If you want to be in control of how your work is viewed, the image you create around your work, self-publishing is a way to go. With no sales pitch you wouldn't stand by or book reading at a place you'd never be caught dead in, let your creative compass point you in the right direction. Blogs, local shops and any number of Internet outlets allow you to personalize your work, give it the vibe you think it deserves. A publishing company is in it for one thing, money, and if your style doesn't rake in the Benjamins, they'll change you into an alter boy if they think the robe would fit you better.
And, Of Course, Money, Money, Money ...
We probably could have left out everything before and cut to the chase, but when it comes to money, it really depends on how good you are on your own. Self-published authors take a larger cut of the profits, excluding productive and shipping, but publishers, although less than willing to make you rich until you've proved your worth, still have that reach to get your work into the hands of more people. So you have to ask yourself, would you rather pull a hypothetical 30 percent from selling to your five closest friends (all relatives), or would you be better off taking a small cut from the "Twilight"-size fan club of one of those last remaining bookstores?
That's my two cents on the process of publishing. Each person will have different reasons for choosing one or the other, but it's worth considering self-publishing if you honestly think it's your cup of tea. But, there are always a few publishers out there looking for the next James Patterson. Just remember, don't mess with the bull if you don't want the horns.
blishers who just want to share it quickly in their own style and let the chips fall where they may.Self-publishing has grown as a popular approach for sharing one's work, and although the fruits of their labor might resemble more of a handful than a bushel, there are plenty of perks to this self-starter mode of publication. But is it enough to outweigh the cons? Read on and decide for yourself.
No Deadline
It's the least favorite word in any creative's dictionary. No matter how ahead of the timeline you are, the deadline always stares back at you like a time bomb waiting to ruin your train of thought. Self-publishing removes that illusion of a finish date, which allows the creative to focus on the work when he needs to, not forcing the work, letting it arrive as inspired spurts of good ideas.
Not having a deadline also allows time to get some constructive feedback and revise. When you're too close to a project, it's easy to be stubborn and hold onto needless aspects of your work. Getting feedback bestows an opportunity to step back and be mildly objective, which forces the work to progressively improve. Your first draft is never your final draft, not unless you're Bukowski.
Creative Freedom
Unleashing your inner control freak allows you to make every detail just as you like without the pest of an editor or publisher - like that of a suspicious, frumpy teacher who hovers above to see if you're cheating - telling you it needs more this, less that or fewer decapitated characters in this potential children's book.
There's no worry of having to pander to what anybody else wants, anything that obstructs your creative vision; it's just you and your work. Because when you succumb to the demand of external forces - what you think others want instead of what you think people need to see - it loses its luster, and then your focus becomes more about finishing the damn thing than enjoying its charm.
First Timer Failure
It's great to have creative freedom and no restrictive deadlines, but there comes a point when that becomes counterproductive. Creative freedom is only good if there's a voice of reason - yourself or someone who's experienced in the field - to call you out when your work is lacking or overcooked.
Not having a deadline does give creative space to allow good work to come through as it wishes, but too much space gives a creative person too much time to second-guess their work, add things that don't need to be added and cloud their vision. Sometimes it's just best to have the experienced eyes of a publisher who can tell very quickly if the work is ready or still needs some polishing.
Faster Release
In a self-publishing situation, once the book is the finished, it's ready for consumption. A publisher, or multiple publishers, will take their time on deciding if your work is right for them, if it's right but needs more work or if you just plum suck. Even a simple "no" could take weeks to get from a publisher's desk. Self-publishing allows you to share instantly, which in day and age, seems appropriate. From there, you can gauge people's reactions. Is it catching on? Do I need the help of a publisher to actually reach the crowd I'm trying to share this with?
Instant gratification feels good at first, but ultimately there is a bigger picture to look at. You don't want to blow your load during the previews when the film is four hours long, no?
Reach
Speaking of reach, you probably don't have one much further than you can piss after (chugging a trenta Starbucks), at least if you're new to the publishing world. Outside of Facebook friends and Twitter followers you've never met, your work won't see the light of too many days in this way if you don't have the right tools for the job.
A publisher, on the other hand, has a far better reach, not to mention locations to sell the work out of. If you think your work is good enough, important enough to share with the world, don't sell yourself short by being im
pulsive, greedy or just plum silly; take the time to find a publisher who would best serve your work and take it one step at a time to getting where you need to be.Branding Yourself as You Envision
You write a book that you stand proud of, then your publisher asks for another and another and before you know it, bam, you're James Patterson. Although self-published authors do have a tendency to be seen as unsuccessful, as someone who couldn't book it, so to speak, there's something to be said about not becoming "that guy."
If you want to be in control of how your work is viewed, the image you create around your work, self-publishing is a way to go. With no sales pitch you wouldn't stand by or book reading at a place you'd never be caught dead in, let your creative compass point you in the right direction. Blogs, local shops and any number of Internet outlets allow you to personalize your work, give it the vibe you think it deserves. A publishing company is in it for one thing, money, and if your style doesn't rake in the Benjamins, they'll change you into an alter boy if they think the robe would fit you better.
And, Of Course, Money, Money, Money ...
We probably could have left out everything before and cut to the chase, but when it comes to money, it really depends on how good you are on your own. Self-published authors take a larger cut of the profits, excluding productive and shipping, but publishers, although less than willing to make you rich until you've proved your worth, still have that reach to get your work into the hands of more people. So you have to ask yourself, would you rather pull a hypothetical 30 percent from selling to your five closest friends (all relatives), or would you be better off taking a small cut from the "Twilight"-size fan club of one of those last remaining bookstores?
That's my two cents on the process of publishing. Each person will have different reasons for choosing one or the other, but it's worth considering self-publishing if you honestly think it's your cup of tea. But, there are always a few publishers out there looking for the next James Patterson. Just remember, don't mess with the bull if you don't want the horns.
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