Look At These Dumb Adults Stuck In Playground Equipment

August 1, 2014, 12:54 am

≫ Next: Germany Had the Most Penis Enlargements Performed Last Year (Maybe)

≪ Previous: Florida Grandma Gets Six Months in Jail for Public Sex Romp

$

0

0

Youngsters can scrape their knees or lose a tooth on the playground. It's just the hazards that come along with being young and out of control and surrounded by awesome playthings. As for adults getting themselves stuck on playground equipment? Well that, that we just chalk up to idiocy.







And, of course, Frank from It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia...


Via Imgur

 

Permalink | Email this | Linking Blogs | Comments

---

Germany Had the Most Penis Enlargements Performed Last Year (Maybe)

August 1, 2014, 1:08 am

≫ Next: Idiots With Backwards Hats On Trying to Block the Sun

≪ Previous: Look At These Dumb Adults Stuck In Playground Equipment

$

0

0

If you asked German men what they did with their free time last year, most would tell you that they played football, watched movies, and drank beer.

But ask that question to the right 2,786 of them, and they'll tell you that they had their dicks enlarged.

According to Huffington Post, the kings of penis enlargements last year were the Germans. Eighteen percent of the procedures were performed in Germany, followed by Venezuela and Spain, who were each responsible for three percent of the surgeries.

In all, the International Society of Aesthetic Plastic Surgery (ISAPS) said 15,414 men had the size of their pork swords increased. And while Americans were the kings (or queens) of boob jobs and liposuction, only 61 American men went under the knife to make their boom stick bigger.

However, of the 15,414 surgeries ISAPS said took place last year, only 4,192 of them were accounted for on the list of ten countries they provided, meaning 68 percent of the penis enlargements were unaccounted for.

For example, China, India, Japan, and South Korea were not on that list despite the fact that more than 23 percent of the world's plastic surgeons reside in those countries.

So for now, the Germans will remain the kings of penis enlargements until another country comes forward to say otherwise. But we're assuming that isn't something most countries are going to jump in line to brag about.

Expect cheating in Germany to skyrocket: The Bigger Your Penis, The More Likely Your Wife Will Cheat

 

Permalink | Email this | Linking Blogs | Comments

Idiots With Backwards Hats On Trying to Block the Sun

August 1, 2014, 1:50 am

≫ Next: The Least Inviting Vans You'll Ever See

≪ Previous: Germany Had the Most Penis Enlargements Performed Last Year (Maybe)

$

0

0

Whether or not it's acceptable for a grown man to wear a hat backwards, one thing we can all agree on is that it's unacceptable for him to shield the sun with his hands while trying to look cool like Ken Griffey, Jr. Here are several fools who apparently forgot what hats (and in one case sunglasses) are designed to do.

 

Permalink | Email this | Linking Blogs | Comments

The Least Inviting Vans You'll Ever See

August 1, 2014, 2:36 am

≫ Next: This Week's 20 Funniest Tweets

≪ Previous: Idiots With Backwards Hats On Trying to Block the Sun

$

0

0

There's one thing late summer is lesser-known for, and it's dudes cruising around in some of the creepiest vans you'll ever see. Seriously, all of these vans exist somewhere. And people are actually driving around in them.

 

Permalink | Email this | Linking Blogs | Comments

This Week's 20 Funniest Tweets

August 1, 2014, 2:50 am

≫ Next: 15 Wonderfully Mean Things Written About Michael Bay and His Films

≪ Previous: The Least Inviting Vans You'll Ever See

$

0

0

 

Permalink | Email this | Linking Blogs | Comments

15 Wonderfully Mean Things Written About Michael Bay and His Films

August 1, 2014, 3:49 am

≫ Next: Mandatory Viewing: Zoe Saldana's Nude Shoot

≪ Previous: This Week's 20 Funniest Tweets

$

0

0

 

Permalink | Email this | Linking Blogs | Comments

Mandatory Viewing: Zoe Saldana's Nude Shoot

August 1, 2014, 5:27 am

≫ Next: An Exclusive Look At The Cleveland Browns' Preseason Notes

≪ Previous: 15 Wonderfully Mean Things Written About Michael Bay and His Films

$

0

0

Welcome to Mandatory Viewing -- our weekly show where men talk sports, politics, current events, and really weird Internet videos they hope their children will never see. This week: Zoe Saldana's nude shoot, a former pro wrestler goes into porn, and much more.

 

Permalink | Email this | Linking Blogs | Comments

An Exclusive Look At The Cleveland Browns' Preseason Notes

August 1, 2014, 5:47 am

≫ Next: This Is Why You Shouldn't Attempt The 'Dirty Dancing' Move With Your Pal

≪ Previous: Mandatory Viewing: Zoe Saldana's Nude Shoot

$

0

0

After the Browns had a solid outing at the NFL Draft and made several big moves in free agency, fans have become ecstatic about the upcoming season. Believe it or not, we have even more news for Cleveland fans. I was given exclusive access to their front office and war room to see how things work.

While I was there I took a few pictures and scribbled down a few notes of what I saw. If these findings are any indication of the Browns' upcoming season, it certainly seems the Browns are up to their same old "tricks."

1. This was found in the draft room the morning after the 2014 NFL Draft. It seems like the Browns definitely had some other plans up their sleeve if Johnny Manziel wasn't available when it was their time to make a pick.


2. One of the team's laptops was left open with the following notes displayed. Seems like the Browns have an aggressive yet unconventional strategy for this year:


3. If you're wondering how Josh Gordon got in trouble with drugs yet again, this may have had something to do with it:


4. I found an image on the desktop of that same computer that suggested maybe the Browns were going to crudely photoshop players into Browns' jerseys and try to trick them into thinking they'd been traded to the team. Is that even allowed?


5. I know they want to market Johnny Football as much as possible, but this design I saw on another computer doesn't seem like the best route to go, in my opinion:


6. Every center on the team had this written on his hand. Is this a common problem with NFL players?


7. I saw a box labeled "GAME PLAN" and saw this. If you're an NFL team that's going to use Madden as a guide to play calling, wouldn't you at least get the newest one? Why do they only have Madden '11?


8. There is a team intern whose job is to refresh the same Google search every 30 seconds in case there's any news on it. They take 8-hour shifts 24 hours per day. During one of the shift changes I took a quick screenshot. This is their play for next season:


9. Everyone thinks Johnny Manziel will be a great winter quarterback because he's always talking about snow flurries. I don't think they realize this photo from his locker isn't about celebrating the Christmas season:


10. At one point everyone got really excited because Josh Gordon had said he's given up weed and would spend his free time focusing solely on video games. Unfortunately this was the Nintendo he had purchased:

 

Permalink | Email this | Linking Blogs | Comments

---

This Is Why You Shouldn't Attempt The 'Dirty Dancing' Move With Your Pal

August 1, 2014, 11:24 am

≫ Next: Today's Funny Photos

≪ Previous: An Exclusive Look At The Cleveland Browns' Preseason Notes

$

0

0

We get it. It's a wedding, you've probably had a few, and "(I've Had) The Time of My Life" comes on. It's very hard to resist trying to pull off the classic dance move from "Dirty Dancing" with your buddy. But we can't warn you enough that it will never go as planned. We urge you not to attempt this unless you want to end up on Mandatory for all of us to laugh at.

 

Permalink | Email this | Linking Blogs | Comments

Today's Funny Photos

August 4, 2014, 12:38 am

≫ Next: New Jersey EMTs Smash Car Window to Save a Doll

≪ Previous: This Is Why You Shouldn't Attempt The 'Dirty Dancing' Move With Your Pal

$

0

0

 

Permalink | Email this | Linking Blogs | Comments

New Jersey EMTs Smash Car Window to Save a Doll

August 4, 2014, 12:54 am

≫ Next: 10 Pranks That Backfired and Killed People

≪ Previous: Today's Funny Photos

$

0

0

There was a pretty good reason why the baby left inside a hot car in Hoboken last week looked like it didn't have a pulse -- and that's because it really didn't.

According to UPI, a group of Hoboken rescue workers smashed the driver's side window of a car after receiving numerous calls that there was a baby left inside of it, but instead found they damaged some poor bastard's car over a doll.

The doll, whose two-year-old owner bestowed with the name "Todd," apparently looked real enough to not only fool bystanders looking into a car that didn't belong to them but also the president of the Hoboken Volunteer Ambulance Corporation.

"I saw pictures of the doll and it looked real," Thomas Molta told reporters. "I got 34 years experience in EMS and I probably would have broken the window too."

Who knows? Maybe the EMTs saved the doll's face from melting in the heat, but either way, they're going to have to pay for a new window, as the car's owner has filed a claim to get it fixed.

Maybe we would have sided with the EMTs if the doll looked like this: Face Swapping Kids With Their Dolls Will Give You Nightmares

 

Permalink | Email this | Linking Blogs | Comments

10 Pranks That Backfired and Killed People

August 4, 2014, 1:50 am

≫ Next: Sexy Photos of 'The Vampire Diaries' Star Candice Accola Don't Suck

≪ Previous: New Jersey EMTs Smash Car Window to Save a Doll

$

0

0

 

Permalink | Email this | Linking Blogs | Comments

Sexy Photos of 'The Vampire Diaries' Star Candice Accola Don't Suck

August 4, 2014, 1:54 am

≫ Next: The Very Best Middle Fingers Ever Given to the World

≪ Previous: 10 Pranks That Backfired and Killed People

$

0

0

 

Permalink | Email this | Linking Blogs | Comments

The Very Best Middle Fingers Ever Given to the World

August 4, 2014, 2:29 am

≫ Next: These Photos of People Asleep in Airports Are Hilariously Relatable

≪ Previous: Sexy Photos of 'The Vampire Diaries' Star Candice Accola Don't Suck

$

0

0

Some days you just don't give a damn. And some of those days, there's somebody to capture it for our enjoyment. And one lucky day, some guy thinks to round up the best middle fingers around and give them to you all at once. Enjoy the very best middle fingers given, and then pay it forward.

 

Permalink | Email this | Linking Blogs | Comments

These Photos of People Asleep in Airports Are Hilariously Relatable

August 4, 2014, 2:50 am

≫ Next: Mexican Man Shoots Himself While Taking Facebook Selfie

≪ Previous: The Very Best Middle Fingers Ever Given to the World

$

0

0

Stuck in the airport way longer than expected? We've all been there. And sometimes we're so exhausted from traveling that we don't care where or how we get some sleep, just as long as we do. Every single of these people were merely on a mission and did whatever it took to get some zzz's.

 

Permalink | Email this | Linking Blogs | Comments

---

Mexican Man Shoots Himself While Taking Facebook Selfie

August 4, 2014, 3:18 am

≫ Next: Your Office Crush: What You Think vs. What She Thinks

≪ Previous: These Photos of People Asleep in Airports Are Hilariously Relatable

$

0

0

Move over, 'snapping a selfie while driving' guy. You've finally met your match.

According to the New York Daily News, 21-year-old Oscar Otero Aguilar accidentally shot and killed himself last weekend when he posed for a Facebook selfie while pointing a pistol at his face.

Aguilar had been ... wait for it ... drinking with some friends when he decided to snap a photo with his .45 caliber pistol. Police said he was unaware the gun was loaded and was waving it around when it accidentally went off.

The bullet struck Aguilar in the temple, but it didn't immediately kill him. When officers arrived on the scene, they found him still breathing but attempts to save him were futile, as Aguilar died on the scene shortly thereafter.

While police have ruled the shooting was an accident, one of Aguilar's friends was detained for questioning and another known only as "El Paco" went on the run following the incident, which, you know, is totally something an innocent person would do after an accident.

Booze and guns really don't make for good selfies, and neither do turds in the toilet behind you: Sexy Selfies Gone Wrong

 

Permalink | Email this | Linking Blogs | Comments

Your Office Crush: What You Think vs. What She Thinks

August 4, 2014, 3:50 am

≫ Next: If the 'Customers Also Bought This' Section of Amazon Told The Truth

≪ Previous: Mexican Man Shoots Himself While Taking Facebook Selfie

$

0

0

Everyone has that special someone at work. You go out of your way to work on projects just to be around her and spend every second of that time trying to impress. Well, I hate to ruin it for you, but chances are, you are not impressing her at all. In fact, it's probably quite the opposite. Let's look at what your office crush thinks of you in this helpful little chart.

 

Permalink | Email this | Linking Blogs | Comments

If the 'Customers Also Bought This' Section of Amazon Told The Truth

August 4, 2014, 5:50 am

≫ Next: Around the World of Meat: The Best Beasts From Abroad

≪ Previous: Your Office Crush: What You Think vs. What She Thinks

$

0

0

We've all noticed that little section on Amazon when we're looking at a product that shows us other items customers also bought. It's an excellent marketing ploy to get us to buy more stuff, but what if the suggestions were honest? What if they told you what kind of person you were or what you would need after you purchased that product and they didn't sugarcoat it at all? Well, here's the answer to that.

 

Permalink | Email this | Linking Blogs | Comments

Around the World of Meat: The Best Beasts From Abroad

August 4, 2014, 5:51 am

≫ Next: Vulgar Woman Gets Kicked Off US Airways Flight, Goes Nuts

≪ Previous: If the 'Customers Also Bought This' Section of Amazon Told The Truth

$

0

0

 

Permalink | Email this | Linking Blogs | Comments

Vulgar Woman Gets Kicked Off US Airways Flight, Goes Nuts

August 4, 2014, 6:10 am

≫ Next: Clemson QB Cole Stoudt Pranks People by Pretending to Be a Mannequin

≪ Previous: Around the World of Meat: The Best Beasts From Abroad

$

0

0

What is going on with US Airways this summer?

It seems like just yesterday we posted a story about a gigantic dog dropping a couple of gigantic deuces in the aisle of a US Airways flight, forcing it to make an emergency landing, and now here's a video of a vulgar woman forcibly being taken off one of their planes. (Warning - NSFW language)


According to Uproxx, another passenger on the flight commented that the woman was removed from the plane because she was "loud, vulgar and disruptive," and after watching the video 14 times, we'd say that pretty much sums it up.

If you don't have 58 seconds to watch the video in its entirety, don't panic. Jump to the 38-second mark to catch the end of the woman's rant before she collects herself and calmly tells the African-American woman "they're racist," as if she's making one last-ditch effort to get somebody to join her team. You'll also be able to hear the, "Oh man, I'm in deep shit. Maybe I shouldn't have done that," cry at the 45-second mark. It's hysterical.

And if the parents of the young girl holding her headphones at the end of the video have been going to extremes to keep her from listening to Eminem, they might as well just give her his entire catalog for Christmas, as this woman's rant pretty much wrecked years of good parenting in less than one minute.

 

Permalink | Email this | Linking Blogs | Comments