Quantcast
Channel: Mandatory
Viewing all 11431 articles
Browse latest View live

Today's Funny Photos


10 Cases of TV Shows Having Characters With the Same Name

Ohio Morgue Attendant Says He Had Sex With 100 Corpses

$
0
0
Even a woman who was damn near headless when she was brought in wasn't off limits for this guy.

According to Huffington Post, a 60-year-old married man admitted in court Friday to having sexual intercourse with 100 dead women while working as an attendant at the Hamilton County morgue between 1976 and 1992.
morgue attendant had sex with 100 women
During his deposition that was part of a lawsuit against Hamilton County, Douglas told officials he would "just get on top of them" and pull his pants down.

At least two of the women Douglas went to pound town on were murder victims, including one who was nearly decapitated. Douglas said he had sex with the other murdered woman on the same day she was killed.

Almost just as crazy as Douglas plowing 100 corpses is the fact that his wife once tried calling his supervisor after she picked Douglas up from work and he "reeked of sex," but she was told to stop calling because "whatever happens on county time and on county property is county business."

Douglas said he wouldn't violate the corpses unless he was either drunk or high on crack, but let's be honest - that doesn't make it less gross.

Believe it or not, there are traditions even weirder than sleeping with a corpse: The Weirdest Corpse Traditions From Around the World

 

Permalink | Email this | Linking Blogs | Comments

13 People Tell the Most Embarrassing Thing Their Parents Ever Caught Them Doing

$
0
0
embarrassment

It's awful getting caught doing something humiliating, but if the person that catches you is one of your parents, it's a nightmare that you will never escape. I'm sure we all have stories to tell, but a thread on Reddit was full of some of the most mortifying tales we've ever heard. Here are some of the absolute worst.

1. Closetcrazy
When I was about 9 or 10, I had just bought some Nickelodeon Gak and was quite excited about it. I played and played and played. As a rather unusual child, the remarkably brilliant idea came to put the Gak on my penis. It was gooey and satisfying. My mother walked in to see me laying on my bed with the Gak container empty and an incriminating look on my face. She asked, "The Gak is in your pants, isn't it?" I shamefully nodded my head. She slowly closed the door and never spoke of it again.

2. Mataranka
I was watching Police Academy when I was about 8. There is a scene at a beach party where there are a few naked breasts on show. My mum walks in to catch me licking the TV screen where the bare breasts were.

3. XtortionBear
When I was about 4 or 5, a few of my cousins were over visiting and we were swimming in the pool. I always really looked up to them because they're 8-12 years older than me and of course I wanted to emulate them. So, we're swimming in the pool when my cousin Jonathan decides to rip a massive fart underwater. Obviously, being the kids we are, this is fucking hilarious and Nathaniel (other cousin) and I try to out-fart Jonathan.

Nathaniel farts a few times and we busted a gut laughing and now it's my turn to save face and become 'one of the guys'. I strain and strain and a few little toots blossom forth but nothing great. The guys are really egging me on now and I start to push harder than ever in an attempt to be cool. 'At last!' I thought, as my sphincter stretches apart for what I'm sure is about to be the most epic fart ever seen by my cousins.

It was shit. In the pool.

I just remember laughing so fucking hard even though my swimming shorts were housing a log of brown polonium. My cousins were in absolute hysterics. I got out of the pool, still laughing, and proceeded to tell my mother what happened. She grabbed the garden hose, turned it on full blast, and roared, 'if you're gonna behave like an animal then you're gonna be cleaned like an animal!' I was then blasted with 55°F water.

I'm 22 now and I still haven't lived this down and I swear to Christ that this story is told at least once at every family get-together we've ever had since. It's not so embarrassing now because I was so young, but I still cannot believe that I did it.

4. Spooney_Love
Back in 2004 having just returned from Iraq my wife and I celebrated by heading to Jamaica. We had the typical fun down there and headed back to our hometown to spend a week with family before heading back to Alaska where we were stationed.

On my deployment to Iraq I had gotten a fat reenlistment bonus that I spent on an over the top VoodooPC laptop. I was very excited to show off my laptop when we got to my mom's house and I hooked it up to her TV to show my pictures from Iraq and our vacation. Well, my dumb ass hadn't broken the pics into good vacation and bad vacation pics so here we are, my wife and her parents and my mom and I sitting around this 50+ inch big screen when all of a sudden a nice shot of my wife's vagina pops up in 50 inch technicolor. Oh God, I panicked...started trying to click through the pics, each got progressively worse. It was about the time when my junk was in her mouth and she was looking up at me that I yanked the cable from the tv. The only sound to be heard was my deep exhale and the sobbing of my wife next to me. Yeah, my mom, being full of class brings that up every time we are in town.

5. Scarfall
A year ago, 18-year-old me was having sex with my girlfriend in my room. As I was almost finishing, my mom walks in, sees my girlfriend riding me, quickly turns her face away laughing, said sorry, and does a double take and goes, "WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!" She noticed I wasn't wearing protection (girlfriend was on the pill). My girlfriend dismounts me in panic, I get up, walk next to my mom, with the intent of pushing her out of the room, but I freeze. So here is my mom looking at me, naked with an erect penis, all of sudden, the train station calls, a full-blown orgasm shoots a home-run stream, missing her because of my penis inclination.

I freeze, and the awkward silence goes on for 10 seconds, my mom can only say "Cle-clean yourself up, you kids keep it safe, I'll be downstairs making dinner". She leaves the room, and I'm still frozen in place with my girlfriend sobbing.

6. Superoriginalusernam
Walked into a basketball gym for my brother's game when I was about 3 or 4. We were among the 10 or so white people in a crowd of about 100. Upon seeing all of the African Americans, I proceeded to shout, "MOM! LOOK AT ALL THE MICHAEL JORDANS!!" We left very quickly.

7. K__a__m__i
This is a good one. One evening when my parents were out, I cracked my father's 'toy-box'. A locked cupboard beside the bed where he kept his porn and all the toys he used/uses with my mother (don't even ask. It took me years to process this discovery!). Dildos, vibrators, pumps for varying body parts, anal plugs...anything! And of course the porn, which I was after.

So, when I was around 14-15 I used to open this cupboard, on a pretty regular basis, by taking off the whole upper part with various tools to avoid the front lock. My father never had a clue because I was very thorough in leaving no trace of evidence. To get to the porn underneath I had to go through the toys, so I placed them very carefully on my parents' bed (!) in the order I got them out so I could put them back as they were. I got to the magazines eventually (carefully passing the polaroids my parents took of themselves when they were in their 20s). Immediate deal breaker once you catch a glimpse of your mom sucking ***k!) and started exercising my beloved craft. In my own room of course.

When I was done my cat was waiting for me with the usual 'Mow-mow-food-food-let-me-out-into-the-garden' routine. I did her bidding like a good can-opener, and distracted by this, noticed it was already time for the Simpsons. I carelessly started watching TV, completely forgetting the state i left my parents bedroom in.

An hour later my parents came home. I was still watching TV when I heard my father screaming 'What. The. Fuck!' from upstairs. That was the moment it dawned on me: all my parents' dildos, vibrators, beads, photographs and tons of magazines! All accurately sorted out on their bedsheets next to the opened 'safe'!

My mom went to see what was going on and came back laughing her ass off! I didn't see my father that evening and I didn't look him into the eyes the rest of the week. My mother actually offered me to ask for 'things' if I was ever in 'need' again. To this day she thinks I was using her dildos and I can't bring myself to clear this up with my parents. So my mother might take the idea into the grave with her that her son (yes I'm male, think I should've mentioned this earlier) used her toys for masturbation.

8. ThatOneCattt
When I was about 12 my brothers and I used to borrow my parents' camcorder to make terrible home films.

One night, after using the camera for day and dicking around with my siblings, for some reason I had an overwhelming urge to record myself fapping (or attempting to as the case may be...).

Lo and behold, a couple of days later Mother decides to show a family friend some videos she took of her darlings playing in school concerts and the like. Plugging in the camcorder to the VHS (or whatever, I was too young to work it out and it's all using computers now days, fuck you), she fast-forwards through our crap films and tries to get to the concert footage. After about a minute and a half of me standing up on stage, squeaking away on my little violin the footage cut to black, only to be replaced with me violently whacking it, camera placed on the foot of my bed, making eye-contact with the camera the entire time.
No facial expressions whatsoever...

I never received a lecture about use of the camera, or replacing the tape inside it. My parents have never mentioned it to me or anyone else. All I knew then was that one day we were allowed to use the camera, and the next, we weren't.

Now when I look back at it, I shudder...

9. DoorkMatter
Remember Squiggle Wiggle Writers? I don't know if they're in production anymore, but man those were awesome vibrators. Anyway, I was around 12 and I'd discovered this cool fact.

Now, I've always been a huge bookworm, to the point where my parents and teachers were very worried about me, and I'd usually read until very late in the evenings. My parents would come in and check on me a few times each night and tell me to go to sleep, and this one time I was awake, but not reading at all...

Being a child and panicking when I heard someone open the door to my room, I quickly hid the Wiggle Writer under my mattress, but I didn't have the time to pull up my pajamas bottoms, so I just pull the covers up to my chin, and so my dad pokes his head in and was like: "Are you reading?" and I go: "No! Not at all!" and he came in and was like: "Give me the book." which just made things worse, because I didn't have any book to give, so I just hide my hands under my covers and say: "Dad. I don't have any book." in a panicky voice, knowing full well what is about to go down. My dad then decides to pull my covers off in one big sweeping motion, hoping to reveal this piece of literature that is keeping me up and remove it from my room.

Instead, however, he just looks down at my pajama trousers around my ankles with a goofy face and says: "Uh. What is that?" and in a despairing voice I go: "Those are my pants...", completely stone faced. He didn't reply, he just put the covers down and left without looking me in the eyes. I'm just hoping he didn't see the Squiggle Wiggle Writer.

10. Quiettime
When I was 41, I went to visit my parents and had to take a shit. For some reason, when I sat on the familiar, family throne, I had the urge to jack it like a teenager. I heard a sound above and just briefly caught a glimpse of my 70+ dad's face disappearing from the skylight he was re-sealing.

11. Rickolas
When I was about 5 or 6, I was at a friend's house for the weekend and for some reason I got naked and jumped up and down on his parents' bed. My friend takes this camera, which he says has no film in it and takes loads of pictures with the flash pretending it's some weird kind of photo shoot. Seriously OHGODWHY. Anyway as it turns out, the camera DID have film in it and they didn't realize until the dad took it to get developed and got asked some very serious questions by the cops. Yeah. Didn't go to that friends house any more after that.

12. Spiralout154
Not my story but my friend has a pretty embarrassing story. It was about middle school and he thought he was home alone. He had just taken a shower and for some random reason had a boner. He was a really weird kid and just for the heck of it he though it would be funny to walk around with a clothes hanger dangling from his erection. As he is walking around the house like this it turns out his dad was home and walks around the corner so they are both staring at each other. His dad doesn't say a word and all that he can get out of his mouth is, "I didn't think anyone was home." I don't think they ever once discussed it.

13. Nerico5
When I was 6 years old, my mother used to babysit my neighbor Annie. Annie was a very artistic girl; she loved to color and draw everything she saw.

One day, I was playing Star Fox 64 on my Nintendo 64 and Annie was watching. Of course, being too absorbed in the game, I never turned around to see her greatest work of art.

My mom walks in the room to check on us and does a gasp to end all gasps...Annie had made a drawing of a triangular looking ship with a circle around it. It was Star Fox doing a barrel roll...

...except she made it with a load of diarrhea she scooped out of her pants.

 

Permalink | Email this | Linking Blogs | Comments

Check Out These Epic Ice Bucket Challenge Fails

$
0
0
It looks like the cinnamon challenge has finally met its match.

Whether or not you think the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge has become almost as overplayed as a Seinfeld rerun, there is no denying its positive effect on fighting ALS, as it has brought more awareness and money to the ALS Association than ever before. According to TIME, the challenge has raised $15.6 million since July 29 - compared with less than $50,000 in the same period last year.

YouTube videos of people taking the challenge have been all the rage the last several weeks, becoming almost as popular as Justin Bieber hate mail. Celebrities like LeBron James, Mark Zuckerberg, Chris Pratt and Oprah have all taken the challenge, and they even found a big enough bucket to soak New Jersey Governor Chris Christie.

Most videos feature a person screaming after getting doused with a bucket of ice water, but a select few have become "must see" because the people involved couldn't perform that simple task correctly. This is a hysterical compilation of the latter:


Speaking of "must see," check out these pictures of food and boobs: California Man's Yelp Account Is Mostly Pictures of Food and Boobs

 

Permalink | Email this | Linking Blogs | Comments

Girl Gives Us Pure Comedy Using Snapchat and Her Cat

Watch These Kids Re-enact Your Favorite Emmy-Nominated TV Shows

$
0
0

"Game of Thrones." "True Detective." "Breaking Bad." These were some of the biggest TV shows of the past year, all fighting for the Emmy for Outstanding Drama Series. More importantly, though, is that they are all part of the "Kid Emmys," in which adorable children act out spoof scenes from TV's most popular shows. (via mom.me).

 

Permalink | Email this | Linking Blogs | Comments

13 Hilarious Ways Weddings Were Ruined

$
0
0
An insane amount of planning goes into the big day, but chances are a least a few things will go wrong. According to this collection of photos, things can take a drastic turn for the worse. There are a number of ways you can ruin a wedding. Here are just a few.

wedding ruined, funny wedding pics, funny wedding photos
wedding ruined, funny wedding pics, funny wedding photos
wedding ruined, funny wedding pics, funny wedding photos
wedding ruined, funny wedding pics, funny wedding photos
wedding ruined, funny wedding pics, funny wedding photos
wedding ruined, funny wedding pics, funny wedding photos
wedding ruined, funny wedding pics, funny wedding photos
wedding ruined, funny wedding pics, funny wedding photos
wedding ruined, funny wedding pics, funny wedding photos
wedding ruined, funny wedding pics, funny wedding photos
wedding ruined, funny wedding pics, funny wedding photos
wedding ruined, funny wedding pics, funny wedding photos
wedding ruined, funny wedding pics, funny wedding photos

 

Permalink | Email this | Linking Blogs | Comments


'Dopey Bastard' Lights Firecracker in His Pocket

$
0
0
Apparently Florida isn't the only place on the planet where people act like complete dipshits.

According to LiveLeak, a man in Grimsby, England recently set off a firework from one of the pockets on his cargo shorts as part of a dare that netted him just under 17 bucks.


We're not sure which was more painful, the firework going off against this idiot's leg at the one-minute mark or the guy who was filming it laughing at him and saying, "That's what he gets for playing with fireworks" while he's painfully resting against the bushes?

"It hurt, mate," the man known only as a "dopey bastard" tells his friend - and probably the guy who dared him to do it in the first place - who filmed the entire episode.

The explosion left a huge welt on the back of his leg and will probably cost more than 17 dollars to treat properly.

And let's be honest here. If this guy is doing things like this for less than 20 bucks, odds are that's the only explosion coming from his pants that a woman will witness this year.

That explosion was enjoyable, but it's tough to top a homemade Polish cannon, kids: This Homemade Polish Cannon Is Pretty Damn Powerful

 

Permalink | Email this | Linking Blogs | Comments

Anna Camp Is Always Pitch Perfect

$
0
0
Anna Camp, she of Pitch Perfect, Mad Men and True Blood fame, shows that life can always get better. Divorced from her husband last year, she's now dating Pitch Perfect 2 co-star Skylar Astin. Though they never filmed any scenes together, she told ABC News that "I was there as 'the girlfriend' supporting him and making sure he was good and he was there supporting me. It was like I was dating, you know, a [guy] who happened to be in a movie." She's tight-lipped about the Pitch Perfect sequel. "In the second movie - I can't quite talk about it, but there were some definitely amazing funny things that we got to shoot, and everybody got a little dirty. I think people are going to laugh a lot." With Anna Camp in the mix, we think she's right. Until we see her on the big screen, take a look at a few shots of this sexy siren to hold you over.

Anna Camp, sexy women Anna Camp, instagram
Anna Camp, sexy women Anna Camp, instagram
Anna Camp, sexy women Anna Camp, instagram
Anna Camp, sexy women Anna Camp, instagram
Anna Camp, sexy women Anna Camp, instagram

 

Permalink | Email this | Linking Blogs | Comments

Live-Stream the 'Sin City: A Dame to Kill For' Premiere Tonight

$
0
0
The highly anticipated sequel to "Sin City" premieres this Friday, but for those of you who need an appetizer, our friends over at Moviefone have got you covered. The red carpet premiere event starts tonight at 6:30 PST, and you can catch all the action live by clicking here at that time. There you'll be able to live-stream the arrivals of all the film's stars, including sexy dames like Eva Green, Rosario Dawson, Jessica Alba and Lady Gaga. Footage will also be available in 3D! Don't miss it.





 

Permalink | Email this | Linking Blogs | Comments

Today's Funny Photos

North America's Most Expensive Hot Dogs

$
0
0
Hot dogs

The dog's a national treasure. Period. But it's evolved as we've grown up. And your salty-water-swill street food's now become a delicacy (note: this guy's NYC cart, near the Central Park Zoo, still sells loaded dogs for two bucks, but it's worth mentioning he pays nearly $300k to the City Parks Service to rent his spot annually!). We've rounded up the priciest dogs on the continent below (but have only ever savored street meat, per the above).

Hot dogs

The "Boomstick" ($26)
Rangers Ballpark, Arlington, TX
Why it's worth it: If that average-sized ballpark frank isn't doing it for you, this three-pound, foot-long hot dog topped with chili, jalapeños, nacho cheese, and caramelized onions might just satisfy ... though you will be the guy who bought the most expensive hot dog sold at any MLB game stadium.

Hot dogs

Foot-Long Haute Dog ($69)
Serendipity 3, New York, NY
Why it's worth it: This fancy-pants foot-long is topped with black truffle and foie gras, and served on a pretzel roll thats been sprinkled with white-truffle butter. It took home the Guinness Book of World Records title for the most expensive wiener in 2010.

Hot dogs

The K-O Dog ($80)
Brockton Rox, Brockton, MA

Why it's worth it: The Brockton Rox baseball team wasn't about to be upstaged by the likes of a restaurant that was in that girly John Cusack movie, so in 2011, they added some fancier toppings to their half-pound beef foot-long (like porcini dust, crème fraîche, and caviar), placed it on a deep-fried bun dressed with truffle oil, and sold it for $80 bucks on National Hot Dog Day.

Hot dogs

The Dragon Dog ($100)
DougieDog, Locations across the Lower Mainland, British Columbia, Canada
Why it's worth it: What's fancier than caviar- and truffle-topped anything? Rémy Martin Louis XIII Cognac, which sells for around $2,000 a bottle; inject that into a brat, top it off with Kobe beef and lobster, throw on hot sauce, and you've got a hot dog that retails for a Benjamin.

Hot dogs

The California Capitol Dawg ($149.99)
Capitol Dawg, Sacramento, CA

Why it's worth it: This joint took a different approach to break 'the most expensive wiener' record in 2012; rather than throwing a ton of pricey add-ons to their general dog, they chose one novelty ingredient -- Swedish moose cheese -- which costs $200 a pound. Mix in some more complimentary ingredients like a cranberry-pear-coconut balsamic vinaigrette, and you've got a cheesy foot-long hot dog that costs as much as my first car (I'm older than you).

Hot dogs

Hot Dog Mike's "the ONEdog" ($1,501)
Hot Dog Mike's, Little Rock, AR

Why it's worth it: If you're thinking the only way you could make a hot dog more expensive at this point is to coat it in gold, you're not far off. Hot Dog Mike's coated their 1/4 pound ONEdog in gold flakes, and topped it off with a meaty lobster tail. But did Mike really need that extra dollar in that $1,501 price tag? Turns out that he actually donated $1,500 of each ONEdog sale to charity (what a guy).

Hot dogs

The 230 Fifth Dog ($2,300)
230 Fifth, New York, NY

Why it's worth it: Where can you sell a $2,300 hot dog ... with a wait time of 48hrs? NYC, of course, where we love to pay more and be abused in the process. Last summer this top-shelf dog, made of 60-day-aged Japanese wagyu beef and loaded up with sauerkraut braised in Cristal, Vidalia onions caramelized in Dom Perignon, and a ton of caviar, was the priciest dog on record.

We'll see you at the cart in front of the Central Park Zoo.

 

Permalink | Email this | Linking Blogs | Comments

The Craziest Ritual Costumes From Around the World

Better Than Bar Food: The Best Chili Ever

$
0
0

Love bar food but hate the subsequent bloat? These quick and easy recipes are seriously tasty, definitely doable and much better for you than pub grub. This week we'll show you how to make the best chili ever. (Side note: it's healthy, too!)

 

Permalink | Email this | Linking Blogs | Comments


14 Hit Songs You Probably Didn't Know Were Covers

The Slo-Mo Show: Dogs Love Baths

$
0
0
The Slow Mo Show: Dogs Love Baths

Welcome to the Slo-Mo Show, where we take cool things back a few steps to show you how awesome they really are. This week? We borrowed some crazy adorable dogs and gave them baths. Enjoy!

 

Permalink | Email this | Linking Blogs | Comments

Michael Jackson, The Albino Crocodile, Shot Dead After Eating Fisherman

$
0
0
Strangely, the fisherman was way over the age of 18.

According to The Sydney Morning Herald, an albino crocodile named Michael Jackson was shot and killed on Monday after it ate a 57-year-old fisherman.
michael jackson the albino crocodile
Authorities in Darwin said the fisherman was trying to free a snagged line on the Adelaide River when the gigantic crocodile popped out of the water and attacked him. The man's wife witnessed the attack and had to be treated by paramedics for shock.

Officials said Michael Jackson was the main attraction for the popular "Jumping Croc" cruises, where "boats travel the river dangling meat attached from hooks for crocodiles to jump and snatch."

Even though it's the fourth fatal crocodile attack in the region in the last 12 months, a local crocodile researcher said there is no evidence that the "Jumping Croc" cruises have made the crocs more aggressive.

"It was always a thrill when he (Michael Jackson) appeared," Dr. Adam Britton said.

We're pretty sure the dead fisherman's wife would respectfully disagree.

Now, witnessing this would be a thrill: Snake Devours Crocodile After 5 Hour Battle

 

Permalink | Email this | Linking Blogs | Comments

Some Guys Come on a Little Too Strong in the Online Dating World

$
0
0
Dating has changed a lot in the past ten years. Standard online dating is still around, but the process has been significantly expedited - and not necessarily in a good way - by apps like Tinder and free sites like OKCupid and PoF. To be frank, it's gotten a lot more filthy and oftentimes creepy. Here are 11 examples of guys taking advantage of the system.

online dating creeps, tinder fails, online dating creepy guys
online dating creeps, tinder fails, online dating creepy guys
online dating creeps, tinder fails, online dating creepy guys
online dating creeps, tinder fails, online dating creepy guys
online dating creeps, tinder fails, online dating creepy guys
online dating creeps, tinder fails, online dating creepy guys
online dating creeps, tinder fails, online dating creepy guys
online dating creeps, tinder fails, online dating creepy guys
online dating creeps, tinder fails, online dating creepy guys
online dating creeps, tinder fails, online dating creepy guys
online dating creeps, tinder fails, online dating creepy guys

 

Permalink | Email this | Linking Blogs | Comments

Watch This Thunderstorm Wreck a Rick Springfield Concert in Montana

$
0
0
It couldn't be confirmed, but we're pretty sure this is the first time a Rick Springfield concert wasn't wrecked because of his music.
Rick Springfield concert destroyed by thunderstorm
According to UPI, Springfield and his band were supposed to play at the Fallon County Fair in Baker, Montana, on Saturday, but the concert was canceled after a thunderstorm ripped through the fairgrounds, destroying their equipment and freeing several animals who were on display.

Around 6 p.m. local time, heavy rains and severe winds followed a dramatic lightning display, and somebody in Springfield's crew began taking video of the storm just in time to see winds that ranged from 40 to 64 MPH take out the tent that housed the band equipment.

The high winds were also responsible for freeing a group of alpacas. It can all be seen in the video below that was posted to Springfield's Facebook page. Not only will you see the storm rip through the fairgrounds, but you'll also hear a member of Springfield's crew attempt to quote "Caddyshack" and then question the parenting skills of fairgoers all in less than a minute.



​Here's another person who stopped to film a storm instead of running for shelter: 'Fire Tornado' is Literally the Hottest Pic on the Web Right Now

 

Permalink | Email this | Linking Blogs | Comments

Viewing all 11431 articles
Browse latest View live




Latest Images