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Shoe Salesman Gets 5 1/2 Years Behind Bars for Biting Off Toes

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Let's be honest. If you have a foot fetish, then being a hands-on shoe salesman is pretty much the top of the mountain. And if you can find a girlfriend who lets you suck on her toes everyday before dinner, then you have probably found your Graceland.

But if part of that fetish involves you biting off and ingesting part of your ex-girlfriend's big left toe, I'll buy my Reeboks elsewhere.
daniel anaya toe biter
Well, a New Mexico shoe salesman will spend the next 5 1/2 years in prison for doing just that.

According to the Santa Fe New Mexican, Daniel Anaya ate part of his ex-girlfriend's toes on two separate occasions in 2012 and 2013. During their first encounter, Anaya threatened her with a box cutter while he bit off and took down one of her toenails. He then upped the ante the second time around when authorities say he held her down, bit off part of her big left toe as well as a portion of the bone, and ate it.

The judge handed Anaya the lengthy sentence after saying, "You may have been a good person the majority of your life. But what I'm seeing is a very dangerous person."

And also, a gross person.

Did fried toenail make the list? 12 Fast Food Facts that Will Change Your Diet

 

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Pineapple Juice Really Does Make Your Load Taste Sweeter

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Sick of watching your Tinder hookups vomit uncontrollably in the corner of your parents' basement after another Tuesday night oral sex sesh?

Well, then it might be time to incorporate pineapple juice into your diet.
pineapple juice makes semen sweeter
Sex and dating writer Rachel Khona isn't a virgin, and in a special hands/mouth-on study for the website YourTango.com, she and her boyfriend put several food myths to the test, one of which was the notion that drinking pineapple juice would make a guy's semen taste sweeter.

After three days of loading up on pineapple juice, Khona decided to live up to her end of the bargain and give her boyfriend some road head as they drove somewhere on what she referred to as a "south west road trip."

The result?

"Swishing him around my mouth, I realized it actually did taste significantly sweeter," Khona noted.

Khona and her boyfriend also put the "celery will increase your load volume, making it comparable to a legendary Peter North shot" myth to the test.

But according to Khona, all she got was "the normal load."

Probably the best food and sex trivia game you'll play today: Guy Fieri Menu Item of Urban Dictionary Sex Act?

 

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Study Says Hangovers Don't Stop Us From Drinking

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Hair of the dog, baby!

A recent study conducted by public health researchers suggests that hangovers actually do not deter a drinker from hitting the bottle again.
hangovers don't deter drinking again
386 American college students and young adults were asked to keep a drinking diary for three weeks in which they reported every morning whether or not they had a a hangover and how soon they were likely to have their next drink.

Surprisingly, researchers found no difference between the mornings drinkers had hangovers and those in which they did not. However, when they looked at each subject's actual drink log, it did show those with hangovers waiting an extra six hours before they started pounding some Natty Ice again.

According to one expert, it is "probably a waste of time to discuss hangovers when trying to motivate a problem drinker to drink less or drink less often."

Researchers did say that some diary entries were left blank. That's probably because the subjects were too hungover to write anything down or too embarrassed to write about the fat chick they hooked up with the night before.

(via Newser)

This won't get you to stop drinking either: World's Greatest Chair Will Re-fill Your Beer For You

 

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Every One Of These Tattoos Will Make You Cringe

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Why? Why do people do this to themselves? Let's go over this one more time: tattoos are permanent. They will be on your skin forever. Please don't do this to your body. Let's all learn something from these idiots. (And laugh at them.)

bad tattoos
bad tattoosbad tattoosbad tattoosbad tattoosbad tattoosbad tattoosbad tattoosbad tattoosbad tattoosbad tattoosbad tattoosbad tattoosbad tattoos

Via Memewhore

 

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20 of the Most Terrifying Things From Childhood


'Stuff Being Thrown At My Head' Will Make You Appreciate Art

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We're not the most "cultured" individuals here at Mandatory. That being said, if all art was more like what photographer Kaija Straumanis came up with, we might become a little more refined. Straumanis created this entertaining "Stuff Being Thrown at my Head" series for a photo-a-day project and we're so glad she did. The pictures are quite enjoyable.



For more from Straumanis, check her out on Flickr, society6, and Twitter.

 

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Hilarious GIFs of People Falling Off Segways

Today's Funniest Photos

Video of 'Real' Hoverboards Actually a Funny or Die Hoax

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A video featuring Tony Hawk, Moby, Terrell Owens and others taking turns on what appeared to be real hoverboards is apparently too good to be true.

According to Mashable, the video is actually a hoax created by the geniuses at Funny or Die, and that's really a damn shame.

The roughly four-and-a-half minute video features testimonials and footage of celebrities like Hawk and Owens taking their turns on the anti-gravity boards created by a fictional company named HUVr Tech. Even a super old and beer-bellied Christopher Lloyd, who played Doc Brown in the "Back to the Future" trilogy, makes an appearance in the video when he delivers the hoverboards in a DeLorean.



In a matter of hours, the video was viewed millions of times and legitimately covered by numerous press outlets including FOX Sports and the Washington Post. According to the Post, HUVr Tech had even announced the boards would be available to the public in December.

The hoax was revealed when a costume designer posted the gig on her online resume.

Damn.

This means the closest you'll get to a hoverboard is still by watching "Back to the Future II." It also means my 2014 Christmas list is already in rewrite mode.

Damn you, Tony Hawk. You're now part of this list: 10 Notorious Internet Hoaxes

 

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This Dog's Howl Sounds Like a Man Wailing in Pain (And It Is Hilarious)

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I can't stop listening to this. It's so confusing. It sounds like someone is torturing a human and yet here is this adorable little puppy wagging his tail and wailing away. I will never stop watching this.

 

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