Former Porn Star Running for School Board in Florida

June 17, 2014, 10:50 pm

≫ Next: Chilean Porn Star Has Sex for 12 Straight Hours After Chile's First World Cup Win

≪ Previous: You, Me and Kiki Morris

$

0

0

Considering how many stories we do on "Florida Man" every week, this guy might actually have a shot at winning.

According to CBS Miami, the former porn star known as "Dave Pounder" is attempting to hammer his competition in the upcoming August 26 election for the Palm Beach County School Board.



Pounder, who now goes by much less aggressive name of David Mech, is also suing the county's school board for discrimination after they "ordered that signs advertising his Happy/Fun Math Tutor service be taken down at several schools."

Only after the school board learned that Mech was a former porn star who also ran an adult film business did they order the signs to be taken down.

"Lawsuits like mine happen because of poor decision-making and that's why I'm running for the board," said Mech. "Why do we always use this role model in the domain of sexuality? Why is not a teacher who is overweight a bad role model?"

Let's be honest. If sales of "I Scored a Soccer Mom," "Filthy's First Taste 5," "Cable Guy Sex 2" and "Teen Pink & 18" are through the roof in Palm Beach County, then Mech might actually be able to win this puppy.

Or maybe he should offer his services to every single voter: Porn Star Savanna Samson Offers to Hook Up With the Entire Seattle Seahawks Secondary

 

Permalink | Email this | Linking Blogs | Comments

---

Chilean Porn Star Has Sex for 12 Straight Hours After Chile's First World Cup Win

June 17, 2014, 11:41 pm

≫ Next: Chinese Threesome in Car Ends With Accident and Broken Legs

≪ Previous: Former Porn Star Running for School Board in Florida

$

0

0

If Chile finds a way to win the whole thing, this "actress" is going to need a lot of ice.

According to UPI, Chilean porn star Marlen Doll announced via her Twitter account last week that she would have sex with strangers for 8 consecutive hours if Chile beat Australia in their World Cup matchup last week.


But when her team destroyed the Australians to the tune of 3-1 and earned three points in the process, Doll decided to extend her sex romp to 12 hours instead.

In order to round up enough guys for a 12 hour session, Doll shared her contact information on Twitter after the game. As you might have guessed, her Twitter account has since been suspended.

No word on the identity of the guy who finished the job during hour number 12, but we imagine that he felt a lot of pride.

Even though she is probably still having trouble walking, Doll isn't finished making wagers on her country's soccer team. If Chile can rise to the occasion tonight and defeat Spain, Doll says she will get it on for 16 straight hours this time around.

For her vagina's sake, let's hope Spain pulls this one out.

[UPDATE: Chile won it's second World Cup game against Spain, so this won't be the last we hear of Mrs. Doll.]

Follow us at the World Cup: Mandatory is Headed to t​he World Cup!

 

Permalink | Email this | Linking Blogs | Comments

Chinese Threesome in Car Ends With Accident and Broken Legs

June 18, 2014, 12:23 am

≫ Next: BBQ Sidekicks: Delicious Side Dishes Any Guy Can Make (Without Getting Mocked)

≪ Previous: Chilean Porn Star Has Sex for 12 Straight Hours After Chile's First World Cup Win

$

0

0

According to Metro, Chung Yeh of Wenzhou, China was about to be living the dream. He had convinced two girls to join him for a threesome in his car, and they had agreed to it. If you think about it, that's really the hardest part, and Yeh had succeeded.

But his dream quickly turned into a nightmare when he accidentally kicked the parking brake off and sent his car careening down a hill. The vehicle came to a complete stop only after smashing into a tree.

In the aftermath, one of the girls was left with a pair of broken legs and we were left with this bizarre news report:



The man is being investigated for lewd acts in a public place, but after closing the deal with those two girls while wearing underwear usually worn by most eight-year-old boys, he should also be investigated for being some kind of wizard.

Hey, at least they were having sex in the car and not with it: The Weirdest Objects People Have Had Sex With

 

Permalink | Email this | Linking Blogs | Comments

BBQ Sidekicks: Delicious Side Dishes Any Guy Can Make (Without Getting Mocked)

June 18, 2014, 12:45 am

≫ Next: Today's Funny Photos

≪ Previous: Chinese Threesome in Car Ends With Accident and Broken Legs

$

0

0

 

Permalink | Email this | Linking Blogs | Comments

Today's Funny Photos

June 18, 2014, 12:54 am

≫ Next: 12 Well-Known Superstitions and Where They Originated

≪ Previous: BBQ Sidekicks: Delicious Side Dishes Any Guy Can Make (Without Getting Mocked)

$

0

0

 

Permalink | Email this | Linking Blogs | Comments

12 Well-Known Superstitions and Where They Originated

June 18, 2014, 1:53 am

≫ Next: The Amazing Hidden Secrets of the Dollar Bill

≪ Previous: Today's Funny Photos

$

0

0

People all over the world have strange beliefs and take superstitions extremely seriously, yet most of us have no clue where they came from or how they began. Here are twelve superstitions that you may or may not have heard of and how they all came to be.

1. Black Cats
Even if you don't believe in superstitions at all, you know it still freaks you out for a brief second when a black cat walks in front of you. The most likely source of this fear comes from the Middle Ages. There was a strong fear of witches at the time and people believed that a witch could transform into a black cat. So if you saw a black cat crossing your path, it was probably a shape-shifting witch and not just an overpopulation of the pet community.

2. Walking Under a Ladder
The ladder forms the shape of a triangle and the triangle was a symbol of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit - the Holy Trinity. If you walked underneath it, you were breaking or disrupting the triangle and, of course, breaking up God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit was considered a very bad idea.

3. Stepping on a Crack
There are several theories of where the idea that stepping on a crack would bring bad luck came from. Some of the consequences believed to come from stepping on a crack included breaking your mother's back or, during the early 20th century when racism was running rampant, the phrase was "step on a crack and your mother's baby will be black." Clearly they did not know how babies were made. The oldest theory is that some believed hell lied beneath the earth's surface and stepping on a crack would give a demon the opportunity to grab your foot and pull you to hell.

4. Don't Open An Umbrella Indoors
This one is believed to have originated in England during the Victorian time period. Umbrellas had become common and were covered in metal, which was sharp and jagged on some points. If you opened it inside there was good chance you could break something or even injure someone. From that, people decided it was not a good idea to open an umbrella indoors and years later we are still fearful of it.


5. Knock on Wood
Whenever someone talks about something positive they hope will happen, they'll often knock on wood or say the phrase "knock on wood." This is a result of a belief that spirits lived inside of trees and so if you said something about your future, you would knock on the tree to request the protection of the spirits.

6. Unlucky Number 13
It's interesting that the number 13 is considered bad luck in most of the western hemisphere while the Chinese consider it a lucky number. The most common theory of where this superstition originated comes from the Bible, oddly enough. During the Last Supper, Judas was the 13th and final person to be seated. Then, of course, Judas went on to betray Jesus and hang himself. It's such a strong superstition that numerous hotels and apartments won't have a 13th floor.

7. Breaking a Mirror
When mirrors were first created, they weren't considered just décor for your home. Many cultures were so fascinated by them that they truly thought mirrors could capture part of your soul. That's right, even before the Kiefer Sutherland movie this was a belief. If a mirror could capture your soul and it was shattered, then your soul would be trapped in the mirror forever. So to them, breaking a mirror meant losing your soul for eternity.

8. Crossing Your Fingers
There are two popular theories as to why we believe crossing your fingers brings good luck. The first is that during the Middle Ages, if a witch approached you and you had your fingers crossed it would keep her away. The other theory comes from Christianity. During the time when Christianity was forbidden and illegal, you could signal a fellow Christian by crossing your fingers in a visible way. That way you would know you were in safe company.

9. "God Bless You"
When someone sneezes, the most common response is "God bless you." Some believed that a sneeze was your soul trying to escape from your body and so you would say "God bless you" as a way to welcome the person's soul back into their body. They also believed your heart would stop for just a moment with each sneeze. This is obviously untrue.


10. Horseshoe
A horseshoe seems like an unlikely source of luck, but this is yet another superstition that originated with the fear of witches. Many believed that witches chose to ride on broomsticks because they had a fear of horses. If you had a horseshoe with you the witch wouldn't come near you because they feared there was a horse nearby.

11. Four-Leaf Clover
The fact that it's difficult to find a four-leaf clover only adds to the superstition that they contain the power to give you luck. They're also believed to protect against evil spirits and even help you find love. The oldest belief that a clover will bring luck comes from Christianity where they believed that Eve carried a four-leaf clover with her at all times in the Garden of Eden. I'm not sure how they knew this, but if it's good enough for Eve, it's good enough for me.

12. Throwing Salt Over Your Shoulder
It's interesting how many superstitions have spiritual origins. Throwing salt over your shoulder is no different. Some believed that the devil or some other evil being was always standing behind you. If you threw salt over your shoulder it would get in his eyes and keep him from bothering you. If that was actually the case, I would say there are much more effective tools to slow down the devil as he's chasing behind you than salt.

 

Permalink | Email this | Linking Blogs | Comments

The Amazing Hidden Secrets of the Dollar Bill

June 18, 2014, 2:12 am

≫ Next: Flowchart: Should You Delete That Tweet?

≪ Previous: 12 Well-Known Superstitions and Where They Originated

$

0

0

You probably look at a dollar bill every single day and yet, I guarantee you didn't know half of these facts. Learn how to figure out when your bill was designed and where it was printed, who painted the unfinished portrait of George Washington at the center and, of course, where to find a random hidden owl on the front of every dollar bill. There are also an unlimited amount of references to the number 13 on both sides of every buck. (Do you know why?) You will never look at that crumpled up bill in your pocket the same again after watching this.

 

Permalink | Email this | Linking Blogs | Comments

Flowchart: Should You Delete That Tweet?

June 18, 2014, 3:50 am

≫ Next: The Obama Ping-Pong Photoshop Battle Was Epic and Hilarious

≪ Previous: The Amazing Hidden Secrets of the Dollar Bill

$

0

0

We've all been there. You're a little mad/lazy/drunk/stoned/schizophrenic and you decide to send out a tweet. Looking back, you're not so sure if that was a good idea. Here's how you can tell.

 

Permalink | Email this | Linking Blogs | Comments

---

The Obama Ping-Pong Photoshop Battle Was Epic and Hilarious

June 18, 2014, 4:35 am

≫ Next: The Best American Water Parks for Grown-Ups

≪ Previous: Flowchart: Should You Delete That Tweet?

$

0

0

When a photo of President Barack Obama playing ping-pong started circulating the other day, it didn't take long for the good people of the Internet to manipulate that photo into a hilarious array of different situations. Here are the best results from the Ping-Pong-Playin' President Photoshop battle.



Via Tastefully Offensive

 

Permalink | Email this | Linking Blogs | Comments

The Best American Water Parks for Grown-Ups

June 18, 2014, 5:00 am

≫ Next: Your Typical Uber Experience

≪ Previous: The Obama Ping-Pong Photoshop Battle Was Epic and Hilarious

$

0

0

 

Permalink | Email this | Linking Blogs | Comments

Your Typical Uber Experience

June 18, 2014, 5:50 am

≫ Next: Fake Tough Guy Motorcyclist Attacks Reporter on Camera, Gets Exactly What He Deserves

≪ Previous: The Best American Water Parks for Grown-Ups

$

0

0

Look, I love Uber. It's an amazing app that lets me click on my phone to make a driver magically appear. That's not to say it doesn't have it's quirks. Here is a timeline of the typical Uber experience.

 

Permalink | Email this | Linking Blogs | Comments

Fake Tough Guy Motorcyclist Attacks Reporter on Camera, Gets Exactly What He Deserves

June 18, 2014, 7:21 am

≫ Next: Man University: Defend Yourself Against a Douchebag

≪ Previous: Your Typical Uber Experience

$

0

0

Let us introduce you to one of the stupidest human beings you will ever see. This motorcyclist was caught on camera by a local news reporter going the wrong way off an on-ramp. What he did next is truly astonishing. The fake tough guy hopped off his bike to verbally abuse the reporter and his camera man.

So first karma strikes and the guy gets busted by the cops, who were watching all of this transpire. Then his true stupidity shines through. This guy was driving without insurance on a suspended license. You'd think someone riding around like that would avoid drawing any sort of attention to himself on the road. This guy did just the opposite. Now he's walking home.

 

Permalink | Email this | Linking Blogs | Comments

Man University: Defend Yourself Against a Douchebag

June 18, 2014, 5:00 am

≫ Next: Today's Funny Photos

≪ Previous: Fake Tough Guy Motorcyclist Attacks Reporter on Camera, Gets Exactly What He Deserves

$

0

0

In this week's episode of Man U we'll teach you how to come out the winner if ever challenged to a street brawl.

 

Permalink | Email this | Linking Blogs | Comments

Today's Funny Photos

June 19, 2014, 12:35 am

≫ Next: Who Would Have Thought 'Paddington' Would Haunt Your Nightmares?

≪ Previous: Man University: Defend Yourself Against a Douchebag

$

0

0

 

Permalink | Email this | Linking Blogs | Comments

Who Would Have Thought 'Paddington' Would Haunt Your Nightmares?

June 19, 2014, 1:50 am

≫ Next: A Dramatic Reenactment of Helping Your Parents With Computer Problems Over the Phone

≪ Previous: Today's Funny Photos

$

0

0

Editing beloved characters from our youth into horror spoofs has become somewhat of a phenomenon since such classics as "Mrs. Doubtfire" and "Full House" were re-cut as horror flicks. People just can't seem to get enough of the concept of turning childhood icons into horrible monsters. But if we do say so ourselves, the recent use of promo images for the upcoming "Paddington" live action film in the background of scary movie photos has them all beat. From "Halloween" to "The Shining," you never know where this mischievous (evil?) bear will turn up next. (via tumblr)











via Creepy Paddington

 

Permalink | Email this | Linking Blogs | Comments

---

A Dramatic Reenactment of Helping Your Parents With Computer Problems Over the Phone

June 19, 2014, 2:21 am

≫ Next: Amazing Card Trick Works Through Your Screen No Matter How Many Times You Try It

≪ Previous: Who Would Have Thought 'Paddington' Would Haunt Your Nightmares?

$

0

0

I don't feel like I'm being dramatic when I say that helping your parents fix even the most minor computer problem over the phone is the most frustrating experience of your life. It's incredible how difficult even turning on the computer can be when you can't see their screen and they have no idea what to describe to you. If you've never had to do it consider yourself lucky, but for the rest of us, this is way too common of an experience.

You: Hey, Mom. What seems to be the problem?

Mom: We are trying to look at the wedding pictures your sister emailed us, but it's not working.

You: Hmm, what's on your screen right now?

Mom: It's blank.

You: Is the screen not working?

Mom: I don't know.

You: Move the cursor around. It may just be in sleep mode.

Mom: You mean the mouse?

You: Yes, Mom. I mean the mouse.

Mom: I did and nothing happened.

You: Wait, is the computer turned on?

Mom: No, does it need to be?

You: Yes, Mom. In order to see the pictures in your email, you will need to turn on your computer.

Mom: Well, I didn't know. I'm not a computer expert.

(You rub your face and bite your tongue because you know this is going to be a nightmare.)

Mom: OK, it's on.

You: OK, click on the email button at the bottom right corner of the screen.

Mom: I clicked on something else I think.

You: What did you click on?

Mom: "Sons of Anarchy" is playing now. Did I do something wrong?

You: You opened Netflix. Close that.

Mom: Maybe I need to watch the video before it'll open. Like it's an ad.

You: I promise you don't have to watch a sponsored episode of "Sons of Anarchy" before you can check your email.

Mom: Do I pause it?

You: Just close it. It doesn't matter.

Mom: It says: "After seizing control of its town, gun-running motorcycle club the Sons of Anarchy soon butts heads with rival biker gangs, racist groups and the law. Cast: Charlie Hunnam, Katey Sagal, Ron Perlman ... Genre: TV Shows, Crime TV Shows, TV Action & Adventure, TV Dramas ... This show is: Gritty"

You: Mom, you don't need to read me the Netflix description of Sons of Anarchy. Just close it out.

Mom: OK, I'm just making sure.

You: Making sure of what? That Ron Perlman doesn't have the wedding pictures?

Mom: I closed it. You don't have to get so upset.



You: I'm sorry. OK, so click on your email. It's the icon at the bottom that looks like a stamp with a bird on it.

Mom: Why don't they just write "This Is Your Email"? Because that would be easier.

You: I don't know, Mom. Just click on it.

Mom: Why is my background like this?

You: ... Like what?

Mom: It's just weird. I don't know how to describe it.

You: Mom, I don't know what that means. What is it doing?

Mom: It just seems odd.

You: I have no idea what you're talking about.

Mom: Well, if it messes up, just know that I told you about it.

You: Mom, you said it looks odd. How in God's name would I possibly be able to fix something that you can't describe?

Mom: I'll take a picture of it.

You: Yeah, that'll work actually.

Mom: How do you send a picture on this stupid phone?

You: Just click the picture and click message.

Mom: Seems like a lot just to send a picture.

You: Oh God - please just send the picture.

You: Mom, your finger was over the camera.

Mom: I didn't take it with a camera. I took it with my phone.

(You can feel the rage building and a cup of water next to you starts shaking like that scene in "Jurassic Park.")



You: Please. Just listen to me. Click the email button. The pictures will be there. I forwarded you the email as well, so I know it's there.

Mom: Hmm, well this is a problem.

You: What? What is the problem?

Mom: Well, you sent me the email and so did your sister, so now I have them twice.

You: OK?

Mom: I don't want them twice. How do I fix that?

You: IT DOESN'T MATTER. Just look at the pictures.

Mom: You know what? I'll just have her print them out for me since you can't figure out this computer stuff.

You: SLKHGRKLJHEFSCJKHSJHSDHSFLE

Mom: Thanks anyway, though!

(She hangs up.)

(You sit motionless, holding the phone to your ear for 5-7 minutes while your eye begins to twitch. A single drop of blood drips from your nose.)

 

Permalink | Email this | Linking Blogs | Comments

Amazing Card Trick Works Through Your Screen No Matter How Many Times You Try It

June 19, 2014, 3:16 am

≫ Next: The Daily Cycle of a Single Guy's Attempt to Cook Dinner

≪ Previous: A Dramatic Reenactment of Helping Your Parents With Computer Problems Over the Phone

$

0

0

Mind. Blown. Magician Endrit Ferizoli will stump you time and again with this card trick that works for anyone who watches it every time they watch it. Go ahead, try it. And keep trying. He'll get you every time. (And if you eventually figure it out, prepare to feel like a dumbass, because it's incredibly simple.)

 

Permalink | Email this | Linking Blogs | Comments

The Daily Cycle of a Single Guy's Attempt to Cook Dinner

June 19, 2014, 3:50 am

≫ Next: Oklahoma Man Arrested After Masturbating in Walmart

≪ Previous: Amazing Card Trick Works Through Your Screen No Matter How Many Times You Try It

$

0

0

The best time to be a single guy is in college. The worst time to be a single guy is at dinnertime. That's when your world comes crashing down around you in a whirlwind of hunger and despair. And we never learn, do we? Starting at the top, here is how a single guy's attempt to cook dinner goes - every ... single ... day.

 

Permalink | Email this | Linking Blogs | Comments

Oklahoma Man Arrested After Masturbating in Walmart

June 19, 2014, 5:01 am

≫ Next: The Four Most Unnecessarily Large Items Sold at Costco

≪ Previous: The Daily Cycle of a Single Guy's Attempt to Cook Dinner

$

0

0

Was it because a 24-pack of Vitamin Water was going for just under six bucks? Or maybe it was because those boot cut Wrangler jeans he's been looking all over for were rolled back to 12 dollars.

The world may never know what made Derek Bennett so excited that he allegedly pulled out his genitals in a Tulsa Walmart and began masturbating last Saturday. But according to Tulsa World, surveillance footage from the store shows him doing just that.

The 26-year-old Tulsa man was arrested in his gray Hyundai a short distance from the store after multiple people complained he was punching his clown in front of other customers. Local police then drove two witnesses from the store to Bennett's crappy car, and they were able to identify him as the suspect. He was taken into custody and held on $10,000 bond.

According to the police report, Bennett admitted to "going to high school and knowing his rights." He also admitted to exposing himself but thought nobody was watching, which we hope he comes to understand doesn't make it OK.

We'll say he's in a little better shape than this guy, though: Drunk Man Crashes Into Restaurant Then Gets Out and Masturbates

 

Permalink | Email this | Linking Blogs | Comments

The Four Most Unnecessarily Large Items Sold at Costco

June 19, 2014, 5:21 am

≫ Next: The Funniest GIFs of the Week

≪ Previous: Oklahoma Man Arrested After Masturbating in Walmart

$

0

0

Costco loves to sell things in bulk and gigantic containers. And for the most part, it makes sense. You should be able to stock up on paper towels, toilet paper, diapers - items you have to use every day. Now Cheetos? I'm not so sure. But you be the judge of that. Here are the four most unnecessarily large items sold at Costco.






Via Ruined Childhood

 

Permalink | Email this | Linking Blogs | Comments