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Florida Woman Gets Out of Truck, Performs Half-Naked Yoga in Road

But before you run to the bathroom to get your bottle of Jergens, you should know she was a 51-year-old woman hopped up on heroin.
woman hopped up on heroin does semi nude yoga in street
According to The Smoking Gun, Michele Cernak was arrested last week after she allegedly pulled her truck over, walked to the middle of the road, dropped her jeans and started performing yoga. But we're assuming the stash of pills and heroin police found in her truck is what really got her in trouble.

Ocala police responded to 911 calls Wednesday afternoon about an intoxicated woman doing yoga in the middle of the street and stripping. One responding officer noted in his report that Cernak was already in handcuffs when he arrived, but Cernak still had "her jeans down to her ankles with only her panties covering her private area."

A search of her vehicle turned up several aluminum foil packets of heroin as well as a used syringe, crack pipe, hydrocodone, alprazolam and an unspecified prescription drug.

According to the officer's report, Cernak told police she used the syringe to shoot up two of the four bindles of heroin she had just purchased, and that's why she was bleeding from her ankle. He also kept referring to heroin as "heroine," which means he might have been a fan of what Cernak was bringing to the table.

Cernak is lucky to be alive: Naked Dude Hit By Car While Doing Push-Ups in the Street


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15 Corporate Twitter Accounts Actually Worth Following

It's amazing how many companies don't take advantage of the free advertising on social media. No one wants to follow an account that posts nothing but store hours. If you find a way to engage with your audience and have fun, the word will spread about you. Here are 15 companies that know exactly what their followers want and how to keep them entertained.

1. Taco Bell
Taco Bell knows its audience is mainly teens and 20somethings, so they've jumped all over that. I'm sure your grandparents don't care that Taco Bell uses the word "bae" on Twitter, but if you're thinking of where to go eat at 2 a.m. and one of their tweets pops up in your timeline, you'll know exactly where you're headed.
2. DiGiorno Pizza
Honestly no company does social media interaction better than DiGiorno. They've live tweeted everything from the Super Bowl to "The Sound of Music." And if you're a fan of wrestling, no one does funnier tweets during "Monday Night Raw" than DiGiorno. It's really impressive.
3. RealCapnCrunch
So many people enjoy trolling company's accounts and making fun of them. Most of the time these tweets are ignored. What's great about the Captain Crunch account is that they have no problem replying in an equally hilarious way. You have to appreciate a cartoon captain that's self-aware.
It would be easy for ESPN to just crank out updates and sports statistics, but when you can also include hilarious jokes with pictures it becomes so much better. As a sports fan, there's not much more you can ask for.
5. Pornhub
It may seem odd, but the Pornhub Twitter account is absolutely hilarious. Obviously you don't want to be scrolling through their timeline while you're at work, but they definitely have fun with tying in pop culture to porn.
6. WWE
There is one big reason you need to follow the WWE Universe account: Paul Heyman. Obviously if you aren't a wrestling fan, you won't enjoy it as much, but Heyman's hilariously arrogant memes are consistently funny.
7. The CIA
Look, I have no idea why the CIA needs a Twitter account or why they would post jokes on it, but they do. Instead of trying to figure out why this would even be considered a priority for them, let's just enjoy the jokes and ignore the logic. Hooray America!
8. Oreo
Oreo has gone from posting tweets and pictures to creating some amazing Vines. Why pay for a commercial when you can create a free, six-second video that goes viral and creates more buzz than just another ad customers skip on their DVRs anyway?
9. Charmin
Charmin has taken their bizarre concept of bears that use toilet paper and sell it to humans onto social media and have found a way to have fun with it. If you can find a way to make me follow a toilet paper account, then you're doing a great job.
10. Tidy Cat
Not only does the cat litter brand crank out hilarious jokes, they also have a cat professor named Dr. Julius Von Pepperbottom that gives advice to people on Twitter who post minor life problems. I'll take any cat litter that helps me figure out why I can't even right now.
11. Yo Dough
If you don't want jokes with your food and just want to see mouth-watering pictures of cookies, then Yo Dough is for you. Is it possible to be attracted to cookies? Just scroll through their images and get ready for sweet sugary bliss.
12. Hardees
I don't know how Hardees figured out how to incorporate beautiful women into ads for cheeseburgers, but god bless them for doing it. Hardees constantly posts pictures that will make you quite ... uh ... hungry?
13. Old Spice
No one does the bizarre better than Old Spice. They have some of the most creative and memorable commercials in recent memory and their Twitter account is no exception. They get involved in current events and always find a way to entertain.
14. Denny's
I'll be honest, I never ate at Denny's that much in the past, but after finding their Twitter account, it's hard not to stop by every time I drive by one of their locations. It's one of the funniest accounts on Twitter, company or not, and is definitely worth a follow.
15. Skittles
Skittles is known for their bizarre advertisements, so it's no shock that it bleeds into their social media account as well. The doge meme seems like it was created just for them. Plus, there's something fascinating about artwork made from Skittles.


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New York Woman Slept Next to Her Mom's Corpse for 3 Years

There is a world of fantasy in which guys dream of hooking up with both a mother and her daughter at the same time.

This is not one of them.
woman slept with mother's corpse for three years
According to the New York Post, a 28-year-old woman in Brooklyn was taken in for a psych evaluation after police and emergency workers discovered she was living in an apartment for the last three years with her mother's corpse.

Chava Stirn would allegedly prop her mother's bones up at the dinner table and then sleep next to her skeleton every night.

Surprisingly, neighbors said they didn't smell anything suspicious for the most part, until last week when a super tried to investigate a leak coming from Stirn's apartment. When she refused to open the door, emergency workers were called in to knock it down.

That's when they found Stirn sitting on a chair and surrounded by "waist-high piles of trash."

Her neighbor, Amin Ashrafov, said he saw a pile of garbage and freaked out, adding, "I've never smelled something like that before."

Nor should he have. I mean, it was coming from a woman who has been dead for three years.

Almost just as gross: Former Wisconsin Medical Examiner Took Corpse Bones Home to Her Dog


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John Oliver Reads Former U.S. President Harding's 'Smutty F@!* Notes'

On the latest episode of "Last Week Tonight," John Oliver probably put it best by saying that Warren G. Harding, the 29th President of the United States, was probably best known for "dying two years into his first term."


According to The New York Times, Harding had a thing for his neighbor's wife, Carrie Fulton Phillips, and he wrote intimate love letters to her between 1910 and 1920. On July 29, the Library of Congress will make those letter available to the public for the first time.

The Times referred to the letters as "perhaps the most sexually explicit ever by an American president," so much so that instead of calling them love letters on his HBO show last night, John Oliver labeled them "Smutty F@!* Notes."

Our favorite part? You guessed it: ​Wouldn't you like to get sopping wet on Superior - not the lake - for the joy of fevered fondling.

Great stuff, but you would think that an American president would have a more lethal name for his penis than "Jerry." Who knows? Maybe that was almost as badass in 1915 as calling your hog "Max Payne" is today.

More weird American president crap: President Nixon's Speech if the Moon Landing Had Failed


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The Jinx Is On: Celebs Believed to Be a Curse Upon Sports Teams and Players

This Newborn Has Something to Tell His Father

Do Not Pull Your Boat Out of the Water Like This


First of all, I'm no boater, so I don't really know what went wrong here. Perhaps it's because one truck was pulling an SUV and the boat, and the physics of it all just went haywire. Regardless, it probably wasn't a fun way to end the day for any of the parties involved. Excellent soundtrack, though. (Warning: some NSFW language.)


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Bitsie Tulloch Will Have You Coming Back for More

This Poor Kid Really Didn't Feel Like Writing Home From Summer Camp

This little guy is clearly not enjoying his time at summer camp. That, or he really has a hard time putting sentences together. Either way, this is pretty sad. And mildly scary! Is he being held hostage? It's also further proof that sleepaway camp is pure evil and just an excuse for parents to get their kids out of the house for a couple of weeks with no redeeming value to the child.

funny summer camp letter from kid

Via HappyPlace


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Weird Al Yankovic's 'Tacky' Perfectly Parodies Pharrell's 'Happy'


Weird Al Yankovic is back! If you've been wondering where he's been all this time, the answer is: He's been working hard to bring us all awesome parodies of the songs you've been hearing way too much of lately. In fact, he's been working so hard on new music, that he's already shot 8 whole videos which will be released one at a time over the next 8 days. His first is this hilarious cover of Pharell's "Happy." A lot of the time, song parodies can be pretty bad, but Weird Al has always been the master at flawlessly making them work. This video - which features cameos from all sorts of celebrities like Jack Black and Aisha Tyler - just shows us that he is still the king.


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Let the Sexy Daveigh Chase Serenade You

Marloes Horst is a Desirable Dutch Hottie

Hannah Ferguson is a Sexy Sports Illustrated Rookie

Today's Funny Photos

The Ultimate Collection of Incredibly Cheesy Dad Jokes


We all love our dads because no one else could tell the awful jokes that they spout off and constantly make us laugh. You don't want to laugh, but there's something about the level of commitment they have to telling the corniest jokes with such passion, that you can't help but chuckle. In honor of dads, here are some of the best/worst jokes from r/dadjokes. Some you've heard before and some may be new to you, but there's no denying it has all those classic dad signs all over it.

1. The Three Legged Dog
What did the three legged dog say when he busted into the saloon?
I'm lookin' for the man that shot my paw!

2. Enchiladas
What do you get when you have 12 enchiladas?
A foot-ilada

3. The Bug
What's the last thing on a bug's mind when it hits the windshield?
His butt.

4. Dog Cake
What's a dog's least favorite kind of cake?
Pound cake.

5. The Solider
What do you call a soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray?
A seasoned veteran

6. The Dirty Joke
"Wanna hear a dirty joke? A boy fell in the mud."

7. Pterodactyl
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the toilet? Because the p is silent

8. Nice to Meet You
The all-time classic. Every time.
"Dad, I'm hungry."
"Hi Hungry. I'm Dad."

9. Roadkill
Driving down the road and a dead deer is laying on the roadside: Dad, "Oh dear!"

10. The NSA
Why does the NSA hate igloos?
Because they are snow dens.

11. Potatoes
What do you call a potato with glasses?
A spec-tater.

12. The Rock
What happens if you throw a green rock into the Red Sea?
It gets wet.

13. The Dining Room Table
After we finished a family meal I would ask if I could leave the table. My dad always answered "I'd rather you did that than take it with you"...

14. No Nose
What do you call a man with no nose and no body?
Nobody nose.

15. Ketchup
"Oh man, I forgot to buy ketchup!"
"Oh well, Heinz-sight is 20/20, isn't it?"

Dad: "Wanna know how NASCAR got its name?"
Me: "Sure I guess."
Dad: "You know NASCAR originated in the south right?"
Me: "Yeah."
Dad: "Well one day while some southerners were racing cars, a fast car races past a bystander and the bystander goes, "DAYUM! That's a NAS-CAR!"

17. The Scarecrow
Ya hear about the scarecrow who won the award? He was out standing in his field...

18. Geese
Pointing up to some geese flying above: "You ever notice that one side of the 'flying V' is always longer than the other? You know why that is? More geese on that side."

19. A Guy Walks Into An Office
A guy walks into his therapist's office naked except for some saran wrap around his middle. The shrink looks up at the guy and says, "well I can clearly see your nuts". Dad has been telling this joke at least once a month for 20 years.

20. Happy New Year!
Every year after it turns 12:00 AM on January 1
"Where's your mother, I haven't seen her ALL YEAR!"
"Man, I'm so hungry, I haven't eaten ALL YEAR!!"
"WOW, we've been watching this TV ALL YEAR!!"

21. A Frog Walks Into A Bank...
A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack.
"Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30000 loan to take a holiday."

Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's OK, he knows the bank manager. Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.

The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about half an inch tall - bright pink and perfectly formed.

Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office. She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30000, and he wants to use this as collateral."

She holds up the tiny pink elephant.
"I mean, what in the world is this?"
The bank manager looks back at her and says, "It's a knick-knack, Patty Whack, give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."

22. The Christmas Tree
Last Christmas we bought a fake Christmas tree, and the guy behind the counter said "Are you going to put it up yourself?" My dad said, "Don't be disgusting. I'm going to put it in the living room."

23. The Graveyard
Dad: Hey do you know the people that live in those houses over there can't get buried in the graveyard next to them?
Me: Hmmmm, how come dad?
Dad: They're not dead yet (proceeds to laugh for about five minutes at his genius)

24. The Goldfish
Two goldfish are in a tank, one turns and says to the other, "I'll man the gun, you steer".

25. The Cemetery
Every time we passed by a cemetery, "people are dying to get in there"

26. And finally, the dad joke Q&A on pregnancy:


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Delaware Couple Busted Having Sex on a Chipotle Rooftop

You still want sour cream on your burrito?

According to the New York Daily News, a Newark man and a woman who may or may not be possessed were arrested Saturday night after "many onlookers" observed them having sex on the roof of a Chipotle.

chipotle rooftop sex
Shortly before 10pm on July 12, Newark police received several calls about a couple hitting skins on the roof of the Main Street Chipotle at the very front of the building. A responding officer saw the public plow session firsthand and "advised" them to stop, but the couple continued to bump uglies for another 15-20 seconds.

When the officer told them they were under arrest, they fled to a nearby apartment and were eventually taken into custody.

38-year-old Michael Suh and 27-year-old Nicole Germack were each charged with third-degree conspiracy, lewdness, loitering, resisting arrest, and second-degree indecent exposure.

This leads us to an important legal question: If banging on the roof of a Chipotle in front of many onlookers below doesn't qualify as first-degree indecent exposure, then what does? Also, here's an actual news report on the incident:

Apparently in Newark, Delaware, if you're not having sex in public, then you aren't living: Randy Couple Caught Having Sex by Dumpster on St. Patrick's Day


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10 of the Greatest Films Never Made

Keep Your Eye on the Sexy Olivia Jordan

Pop Star/Germany Fan Rihanna Flashed Everyone at the World Cup

Apparently nobody had as good of a time at the World Cup as Rihanna, not even Mandatory's Gary and Max. I mean, I didn't see any pictures of them flashing anybody.

According to Mashable, the "Diamonds" singer is a huge Germany fan and had the time of her life during and after her team's 1-0 World Cup Final win over Argentina on Sunday. She then took to Twitter to share her experience, which included flashing the crowd and hanging with the German players after the big win, with her more than 36 million followers.

rihanna twitter world cup
Here are her top five tweets from Sunday (includes her flashing the crowd):

Good lord!

OK, so that last one wasn't from Sunday, but it's still one of our favorites.

Why stop now? Even more Rihanna pics: Rihanna Photos, Galleries, and Videos


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Michigan Woman Uses Shotgun to Make a Point, Shoots Herself in Face Instead

So, if she was trying to make a point about why it's so dangerous to use shotguns while you're trying to make a point, then I would say she succeeded.
woman with shotgun
According to The Saginaw News, a woman in Fremont Township accidentally shot herself in the face Monday morning while "trying to make a point" during a family dispute.

The 51-year-old woman told police that she slammed the butt end of the shotgun on the floor in an effort to "make a point." The gun went off, and the woman was shot in the face.

Police haven't closed the case and are still investigating to make sure everything went down the way the woman said it did. Meanwhile, the woman is expected to recover after she was transported by helicopter to a hospital in Saginaw.

Of course, she'll forever have to answer the question, "My God, what happened to your face?" Hopefully, she learned her lesson and will remember to not use an actual shotgun while she demonstrates how the gun went off and put a hole in her face.

This seems to happen quite a bit in Michigan: Man Demonstrating Gun Safety Shoots Himself in the Head


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