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This Guy Is Really Good At Messing With People On Tinder

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Dating is tough. That's why dating apps are so popular. It makes the whole process a little easier on everyone involved. Except for any poor girl who runs into this guy. Comedian Dan Sheehan has a little blog and Facebook page called "I Suck at Tinder" where he pretends to be the absolute worst person at online dating and conversing with the opposite sex. Here are some of the best chats he has had so far:












































 

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A Timeline of Watching Your Favorite Streaming Show

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As the world of media changes around us, TV series are no longer just on major networks and spread out over months-long seasons. The popularity of shows like "House of Cards" and "Orange is the New Black" have resulted in a slew of hits with streaming services like Netflix. And while getting to watch an entire series in one sitting originally sounds like a dream, it can quickly turn into a nightmare as you can see from our timeline of watching your favorite streaming show.

favorite streaming show

 

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Guy Drinks A Gallon Of Honey While Face Is Covered In Bees

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"Why?!," we are all asking ourselves. Why in the world would a man attempt to drink a gallon of honey, let alone do it with bees all over his face? Well, because this man is L.A. Beast, the competitive food eater who we last saw attempting to finish a gallon of Tabasco sauce in one go. So we're starting to get to the point where we don't question his actions. Instead, we welcome them and we'll glad watch him destroy his body from the inside one video at a time. Like the beekeeper in the video who doesn't recommend that L.A. Beast go through with it, we recommend that you don't try this at home.

Feel free to skip to the 5:15 mark to jump right to the honey guzzling. (WARNING: In typical L.A. Beast fashion, this video comes with an intense vomiting alert!)

 

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Terrifying Items Stupid Travelers Have Tried To Bring On Flights Recently

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The next time you're standing in a long security line at the airport staring at your watch and cursing to yourself, maybe pull up this article on your smartphone instead. The TSA has an Instagram account where they post images of all sorts of stupidly dangerous items they had to confiscate during routine searches. The people attempting to bring these items on board were either incredibly stupid or incredibly crazy...most likely both.

(H/T 22 Words)









This a vaping device. But the idiot who attempted to bring it on board didn't think, "Hey, maybe I shouldn't carry this thing that looks like a grenade onto a plane."







Let's be honest, no one actually reads textbooks. If you see anyone carrying one onto a plane, they are probably hollowed out and filled with narcotics.





There is no "Airplane Mode" for this smartphone.

Who the hell carries this thing around unless they're a villain from a Saturday morning cartoon in the '80s?

Nothing to see here. Just an X-Acto knife in a Scooby-Doo greeting card.

 

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Lais Ribeiro is Feeling Bubbly for Us Today

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Lais Ribeiro is about as cute as they come, because as you can see, nobody dances to Nathan Fox's "Cutie Pie" better than her. The 23-year-old Brazilian Victoria's Secret angel might be a tight and tall package, but she lacks in no areas, which makes her perfect for the notorious lady's brand. Strutting the runway for big brands like Gucci and Marc Jacobs, Lais is hard to miss and even harder to take your eyes off of, and that's not just because she's 5 feet, 11 inches. In 2011, Lais Ribeiro was the most booked model for the spring/summer collections at the ripe age of only 21 years old, which means we should be seeing a lot of her in the future.

 

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Our 12 Favorite Dick Butt GIFs

Smelling Farts Might Actually Be Good For You

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Maybe it's just us, but we'll pass on the offer to smell somebody's passed gas -- even for money.

According to The Week, a recent study at the University of Exeter in England suggests that "smelling farts could prevent disease and even cancer."
guy smelling farts, smelling farts
The human body produces hydrogen sulfide when bacteria breaks down food, which in turns gives humans gas. But while taking in that gas in large doses would be harmful, the study suggests that "a whiff here and there has the power to reduce risks of cancer, strokes, heart attacks, arthritis, and dementia by preserving mitochondria."

The study said mitochondria act as generators for cells' energy output, and protecting against mitochondrial damage is central to preventing certain diseases.

For now, the study is limited to exposing cells in a laboratory, but researchers said they are "working toward advancing the research to a stage where it can be tested in humans."

I for one am a little skeptical of sniffing another human being's farts - even my wife's - in order to cure my diabetes. I think I'd rather go out with a little more dignity than that. After all, I've been watching dogs sniff each other's asses for years, and they don't seem to last too long.

I'd also like to present this as Exhibit B, Your Honor: Dude Farts in Grappler's Face and Makes Him Puke

 

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Girl Under Anesthesia Says Some Naughty Stuff in Front of Mom

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As a guy who has been through a few knee surgeries, I know what it's like to wake up on some heavy drugs and think that everything you say is normal and acceptable (which it isn't). Fortunately, I never ventured into the territory that this poor girl does. After first hitting on her doctor (that's not so bad), she declares that she wants to have sex with Ryan Gosling (understandable), then gets a little more vulgar (uh-oh) and finally admits that she wants to be a Kardashian (someone stop her). It also ends on an amusing note about marijuana. Good stuff.

 

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Florida Woman Gets 10 Years for Having Sex With Friend's 12-Year-Old Son

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Maybe we should have put the word "friend" in quotes, as real friends don't sleep with each other's kids.

According to the Ocala Star-Banner, Joy McCall will spend the next ten years behind bars after pleading guilty to bumping uglies with her friend's 12-year-old son.
Joy McCall, woman has sex with 12-year-old
McCall's sexcapades had flown under the radar until the boy bragged about having sex with her to a friend at church. That friend went home and told his mother, who in turn called the mother of the victim.

Horrified by what she had just heard, the boy's mother checked his text messages and found a "conversation of sexual nature" between McCall and her son. McCall also sent messages and pictures to her son on Facebook, including one of her in just her underwear.

The boy's mother called the Ocala Police Department, and they launched an investigation. The boy then admitted to police that he and McCall had sex once in the back seat of her car in a mall parking lot and twice in a wooded area outside of Ocala earlier this year.

McCall also admitted to sex with the 12-year-old and pleaded guilty to two counts of lewd and lascivious battery on a child. She'll now spend the next ten years of her life in prison, where she'll have to learn to find adults attractive.

A back seat of a car, a wooded area and a ... Waffle House? Former Math Teacher Allegedly Had Sex With Her Student at a Waffle House

 

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Watch These Skydivers Land on a Slip 'N Slide

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If you thought "Snakes on a Plane" was intense, wait until you see this.

According to Huffington Post, skydivers Niklas Daniel and Brianne Thompson recently jumped out of a plane at just 5,000 feet and successfully landed on a Slip 'n Slide in the Arizona desert below. Even better, Daniel was wearing a GoPro camera that captured the whole thing.


When Daniel and Thompson hit the 200-foot slide, they did so at an estimated 50 MPH. Daniel told Cater News that he and Thompson were just looking for a fun way to beat the Arizona heat, and it wound up being a "great end to the day."

Daniel has now made more than 8,000 jumps and runs a flight school in the U.S. Not much else was known about his female counterpart other than the fact that she has bigger balls than me. I mean, hot damn. That was amazing.

We'll assume this group didn't have as much fun on their dive: Insane Mid-Air Rescue of Unconscious Skydiver Caught on Tape

 

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Today's Funny Photos

15 Hotel Maids Reveal the Most Horrifying Thing They've Ever Walked In On

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As much fun as it is for you to stay at a hotel, it means someone else is responsible for cleaning for you. For most of us that means making the bed and maybe restocking the toilet paper, but for others, it's much worse. A Reddit thread of maids and hotel workers opened where they discussed the most horrifying things they've ever seen. And yes, there's poop involved.

1. The Body
So it was checkout day for this room, and if the guest haven't come to the front desk by 11:30 a.m. (checkout is 11 a.m.), then we call the rooms. This particular room didn't pick up the phone when we called from the front desk which isn't that unusual as sometimes people just leave the hotel without checking out.

Anyway my friend (the houseman) goes up to check that the room is clear/empty, but he can't open the room with his master swipe key, it was dead bolted from the inside. So we get the all clear from management to open the door and get maintenance to open it with their override keys. The houseman walks in to find the woman still in bed asleep! He says, "Ma'am, it's time to wake up," and touches her leg. Stone cold, rigor mortis.

2. Walter White
A guest stayed for 3 nights and had set up a mobile meth lab in the room. It was crazy because we had complaints from guests saying they had horrible headaches, as well as the whole staff. Anyway, we turned his information into the local PD but I'm sure it was useless. He had a North Dakota State ID, a Minnesota drivers license and Canadian license plates.

3. The Drinker
Front desk here. We have had many, many shenanigans happen. A very nice businessman with a briefcase checked into a room, really a very nice person. Didn't hear much from him all night other than him asking where the liquor store was. Upon morning, he had checked out and left without talking to the desk (not uncommon). When the maid went in to clean the room she found quite the surprise.

Apparently this man had a mild case of alcoholism, he had bought two bottles of booze and proceeded to drink it all, as well as spill some onto the phone, puke all over and, the worst - shit. Shit everywhere. In the bed, on the floor, in the tub, on the shower curtain, all over the toilet, and tried to "clean" his mess up with all the towels.

Needless to say, we have his name hanging up on the list of people who cannot rent a room.

4. Theme Rooms
I used to work as a housekeeper in a hotel with themed "fantasuites." We had an underwater room, an igloo room, even a space-themed room with a spaceship bed. This particular room was the jungle-themed room, complete with a king-size swinging bed. We always knock a few times and announce we're entering through an open crack in the door, but I suppose the occupants of the room couldn't hear me over their sexy-times. I know walking in on people having sex is maybe more common of the "weirdest or most disgusting," but these two happened to be around 500 pounds each. Slow-motion, swinging, sweaty, loud, gelatinous pounding. They didn't see me walk in, but I still yelled out "Sorry" unnecessarily and awkwardly loud and slammed the door.

5. The Discovery
While working the desk one morning, a housekeeper came up to the front desk, pale as all hell, shaking, saying we needed to call the police. Apparently, a young woman checked in around 2 a.m. the night before, and performed (or attempted to perform) a self-abortion. There was blood all over the bed, carpet, chair, walls, door, bathtub. Looked like a murder scene. We originally thought that's what happened, but the investigation revealed what actually happened. Horrific.

6. The French Canadian
I worked in room service for a few years, I served a 50-60-year-old French Canadian dude who was in nothing but short shorts with a 18-ish-year-old Asian boy in full scuba gear on the bed.

7. The Frac Crew
I don't know if you guys know, but a frac crew is a large group of men (sometimes women, but not many) - between 20 and 50 guys - and they vary in age from 18 to their mid-50s. The crew decided that for some reason, this was the perfect night to get absolutely hammered drunk, and fuck up some shit. They had multiple complaints, and when the front desk staff finally sent up the cops to start kicking asses out, they discovered that the large and very inebriated group had decided that they wanted to party together, but the single room was too small. So they had smashed the wall out between 2 rooms. I'm assuming that those who participated no longer had careers as frackers with that particular company.

8. That's Not A Murder
One housekeeping story I always remember was when I was coming off shift one morning. After covering a few extra hours for the day-shift, one of the new housekeepers ran to the desk and said someone was being attacked on the 3rd floor. So I grabbed my manager's keys and headed upstairs and was barely off the elevator when I heard what was very much NOT someone being attacked.

She was screaming her head off though and he sounded like he was obliging her repeated requests for "harder, harder" a few guests were standing around the hallways listening. Most found it funny but I radioed the front desk to "accidentally" give the room a wake-up call to settle them down.

Poor housekeeper was sitting in back shaking because she thought someone was being murdered in their room.

9. The Bachelor Party
A stag party (bachelor party) was staying in the hotel I work in, and they got ridiculously drunk one night before retiring to their rooms. The next day after they'd checked out, we went in to their room only to be greeted by the foulest smell I've ever experienced. Upon entering, we discovered that the two guys sharing one room had not only vomited, but had shit EVERYWHERE in this room. All over the beds, the floor, in the bin ... some of it was even smeared up the walls. I can only imagine that they were so intoxicated that they lost all control of their bodily functions. No wonder they checked out so hastily. In conclusion, that room had to be completely refurbished - new beds, new carpet, new paint on the walls. It was weeks before it was usable again. Needless to say the culprits were contacted and made to pay the cost of damages as they'd obviously tried to escape without blame.

10. The Nursing Home
Laundry assistant/housekeeper for a nursing home here. Walked in on a couple residents masturbating throughout the years. This year I walked into the room of one of our nastier residents and found him with his pants down and he had fucking maggots crawling all over his junk. Apparently he'd refused a shower for several weeks, if not longer. He's been sent to another facility.

11. Keep Working
Not me, but a friend.

He worked maintenance and got a call to fix a broken door latch. As he approached the room, a 13-year-old girl comes storming out, yelling at her parents that she "wasn't watching this again." Girl lets my friend in the room, then shit gets real.

The girl's mom and dad are 250 and 300 pounds, respectively. Friend says he's there to work on the door. Both parents are laying underneath the covers in bed, which is nothing that odd. They tell my friend to get to work, and as he starts pulling out his tools, both parents get out of bed, they're completely naked and proceed to start f**king doggy style on the end of the bed.

My friend says he'll just come back, the dad SCREAMS for him to keep working as he loudly plows his wife. Friend can hardly work because he's so shaken up. He never looks back, except for one time on his way out the door, when he sees that the dad was so fat, he laid his belly up on top of his wife's back, and had a chocolate milk in his hand.

12. The DVD Player
I was a front desk worker who had to go to rooms after everyone else left. So this old guy who just checked in with his old leather bag wife called up and said something along the lines of: "Hey we were told that you could hook up a DVD player and its not working. You had better fix it." So I went up there and there he was shirtless wearing short-shorts and his wife is obviously topless with a sheet covering while smoking and pouring vodka into wine glasses. So nervously I attach the DVD player aaaaaaaand its a porno dvd already going. Husband says "thank you" over-eagerly while touching my shoulder. To make it worse, I heard the old leather bag say, "I wonder what time his shift ends, maybe we could invite him." I ran all the way back to the front counter and wouldn't go near that room until they left.

13. Mom and Dad
My mom worked in her family's boarding house in the early 1950s. She went up to clean a room that had been inhabited by a few recently discharged servicemen.

One of the guys apparently snored so loudly that to get revenge, his buddies left without waking him. My mom went up and threw back the covers to find the offending snorer, buck naked and sound asleep. She screamed, he woke up, and in his words "fell in love with her that very moment." And that's how my dad met my mom.

They had to date on the sly because her parents didn't take too kindly to their 16-year-old daughter finding a naked man up in one of the rooms. So ... my dad's buddy (my "Uncle" Pat) would pick my mom up for a "date," take her to my dad, they would then go on a date, and then Uncle Pat would meet up with them and take my mom home. This lasted until SOMEBODY got SOMEBODY preggers.
TL:DR: My mom finds my dad naked in room, marries him.

14. Floating Porn
Another good one was what could only be assumed was a bachelorette party that left me a bit of an, erm, gift. An intricate, free floating web of yarn intertwined with at least a full deck of playing cards featuring 1970's porn stars hung (no pun intended) majestically from where the curtains once were. The worst part was that my supervisor made me take it to the lost and found, where I was forced to come up with a description of the item. I went with "hanging pornography mobile," while blushing and giggling hysterically.

15. Room Service
Not a maid but I was once taking room service up to a couple. They took ages to answer the door, and when it finally opened I was greeted by a man wearing only a pair of boxers which didn't do a very good job of hiding his huge erection. The worst part was the room smelled strongly of shit and the woman was eyeballing me the whole time i was unloading my tray. PSA: If you've ordered room service have the courtesy to appear decent when it arrives at the door. Coming into someone's room is awkward enough already for me, try not to make it worse.

 

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12 Photos That Prove 'The Matrix' Is Real

The Very Best Celebrity Face Swaps

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Face swaps are disturbing, mesmerizing and hilarious - all at the same time. If you think about it, the lives of celebrities are often disturbing, mesmerizing and hilarious, as well. So, consider this collection of celeb face swaps a double-triple whammy.

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie
celebrity face swaps, brangelina faceswap
Drake and Nicki Mijaj
celebrity face swaps, drake and nicki minaj face swap
Kim Kardashian and Kanye West
celebrity face swaps, Kim Kardashian and Kanye West face swap
Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Zooey Deschanel
celebrity face swaps, Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Zooey Deschanel face swap
Taylor Swift and Harry Styles
celebrity face swaps, Taylor Swift and Harry Styles face swap
Jake Gyllenhaal and Anne Hathaway
celebrity face swaps, Jake Gyllenhaal and Anne Hathaway face swap
Emma Watson and Ron Weasley from "Harry Potter"
celebrity face swaps, Emma Watson and Ron Weasley face swap
Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart
celebrity face swaps, Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart face swap
Beyonce and Jay-Z
celebrity face swaps, Beyonce and Jay-Z face swap
Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel
celebrity face swaps, Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel face swap
Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth
celebrity face swaps, Miley Cyrus and Chris Hemsworth face swap
James Franco, Seth Rogen and Danny McBride from "Pineapple Express"
celebrity face swaps, James Franco Seth Rogen and Danny McBride face swap
Katy Perry and Russell Brand
celebrity face swaps, Katy Perry and Russell Brand face swap
Shia Labeouf and Megan Fox
celebrity face swaps, Shia Labeouf and Megan Fox face swap
Will and Jaden Smith
celebrity face swaps, Will and Jaden Smith face swap
The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge
celebrity face swaps, Kate Middleton and Prince William face swap
Mitt and Ann Romney
celebrity face swaps, mitt and ann romney face swap
The President of the United States of America and First Lady
celebrity face swaps, barack and michelle obama face swap

 

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Road-Raging Russian Driver Runs Over Man After Being Confronted

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I guarantee you have never seen this much rage in a road rage incident before. The above dash camera footage comes to us courtesy of Russia and catches one man running over another man after a brief confrontation.

It all starts at an intersection, when one man gets out of his car and walks up to the car behind him to give that driver a piece of his mind. When the yeller is finished, he heads back to his car. That's when the other driver loses his mind and accelerates right into the man, pinning him against his open car door and eventually knocking him to the ground.

The driver briefly gets out to check if there's any damage to his car before promptly taking off. The original yeller is left on the street pavement clutching his leg as people slowly start to assemble around him. According to Russia Today, the driver of the white car has been identified and is now considered a fugitive. The injured man was helped by witnesses and taken to a local hospital.

H/t BuzzFeed

 

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People Who Probably Love Their Pets Just a Little Too Much

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Look, we all love our pets. There are just some people out there who seem to love their pets a little more than everyone else. To the point where things start to get a little weird for the rest of us. They go to all sorts of extremes to let the world know about their love and, well ... I could continue to tell you all about it, but this is the Internet and it's probably best to just show you so you'll truly understand.

Funny pet photos, people and pets

weird pet photos, people pets funny

weird pet photos, people pets funny

weird pet photos, people pets funny

weird pet photos, people pets funny

weird pet photos, people pets funny

weird pet photos, people pets funny

weird pet photos, people pets funny

weird pet photos, people pets funny

weird pet photos, people pets funny

weird pet photos, people pets funny

weird pet photos, people pets funny

weird pet photos, people pets funny

weird pet photos, people pets funny

weird pet photos, people pets funny

weird pet photos, people pets funny

weird pet photos, people pets funny

weird pet photos, people pets funny

weird pet photos, people pets funny

weird pet photos, people pets funny

 

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A 10th-Grader's Thought Process While Trying to Unhook a Bra

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Life can be difficult for high school sophomore boys. Their bodies are going through changes, upperclassmen are still giving them a hard time and, most significantly, they have no idea what they're doing when the time comes to unhook a bra. Here's a look inside the mind of a typical 10th-grader as he tries to undo a girl's bra for the first (or hundredth) time:

high school couple making out, trying to unhook a girl's bra

 

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Street Talk with Alison Becker: Lies You Tell to Get Laid

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Welcome to our weekly series where our host, comedian and actor Alison Becker, runs up to random people on the street and puts them on the spot. Becker asks funny, ridiculous and occasionally uncomfortable questions, forcing guys to reveal their darkest, most hilarious secrets.

 

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Mark Twain Takes on Wikipedia - 'ThisIsMarkTwain@aol.com'

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In the latest episode of our Web series "ThisIsMarkTwain@aol.com," Mark enlists the help of co-worker Jason Horton to correct the "damn lies" that are all over his Wikipedia page. While trying to make the changes, though, he discovers a piece of news that brightens his mood and may change the course of Season 2. Stay tuned!

For more funny original content, subscribe to Mandatory's YouTube channel and be sure to follow Mark Twain on Twitter.

 

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Danielle Lo is a Hot 'Roll Model'

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