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The 10 Most Insane Criminal Moms

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Mother's day is fast approaching, and if you don't appreciate the lady who squirted you out of her loins, this article will make you. Not all moms are about baking cookies and putting Band-Aids on skinned knees. Some mommies instead prefer to spend their time breaking the law. Here's a lineup of ten seriously bad mothers.

Sandra Avila Beltran

Everybody knows that the drug cartels are tearing Mexico apart from the inside, but it's not just a boys club. One of the most famous cartel leaders was Sandra Avila Beltran, known as the "Queen of the Pacific." Her family had been in the narcotics game for generations, so Beltran built relationships with other gang leaders, learning about their business and swooping in when cops or bullets took them out of the picture. It wasn't long before she became one of the most powerful smugglers in Guadalajara. She only came into the public eye when her son was kidnapped and held for $5 million ransom in 2002. In 2007, police arrested her in Mexico City and she was convicted of laundering billions of dollars in drug money.

Aileen Wuornos

If you talk about moms who really ramped up the brutality, Aileen Wuornos is one of the first names that comes to mind. As a young girl, Wuornos was abused and beaten by her grandfather, which twisted her psyche into a murderous knot. After fleeing the house to live in the woods and work as a prostitute, Wuornos eventually relocated to Florida, where she would get into trouble with the law multiple times over violent bar brawls. She started killing in 1989 by taking the life of a convicted rapist, and would continue to murder six other men over the course of a year. When she was arrested, her defense was that all seven killings were done in self-defense, but she was convicted and put to death by lethal injection in 2002.

Griselda Blanco

Miami in the 1970s and 1980s was a literal Vice City, with drug kingpins ruling the streets with an iron fist. One of the most feared was Griselda Blanco, the Cocaine Godmother. Growing up in Columbia, she was involved in kidnapping and murder before she even hit puberty. In the mid-70s, her and her husband emigrated to Queens and started to lay the groundwork for what would become a criminal empire. After moving to Miami, she ran a distribution network that brought in an estimated $80 million in cash every month, and her iron fist made her a frequent target of assassination attempts. 1984 saw her moving to California to take the heat off, but the DEA popped her a year later. Like a true badass, she continued to run her business from behind bars until she was murdered in 2012.

Maria Licciardi

The Italian Mafia is typically a boy's club, but every once in a while a woman takes over the family business. When the Camorra in Naples fell to vicious infighting in the 1990s, Maria Licciardi had to stop out from the kitchen and take over the Licciardi clan after her husband and brothers were arrested. She consolidated power with an iron fist, expanding the drug trade and cementing the Camorra's hold on the city. She also eliminated the clan's long-standing ban on prostitution, buying girls from Albanian gangsters and forcing them into a miserable life of sex for money. In the late 1990s, her control started to fade, kicking off a brutal gang war that saw more than a hundred people die in the streets. She went into hiding, but police caught up with her in 2001.

Kate Leigh

The streets of Sydney in the 1920s were a wild time, and one of the most brutal forces was Kate Leigh. One of eight children, she started out breaking the law by selling alcohol past last call, and that proved to be an entry into the world of criminality. Throughout her 20s and 30s, she was often called into court to provide alibis for a host of undesirables, but by the time Leigh was 40 she was running her own operation, supplying cocaine to most of the city. Her main rival was another criminal woman named Tilly Devine, and the pair brawled in the streets on numerous occasions. For a time, she was one of the richest women in the country and would go to court appearances with a diamond ring on each of her fingers, but the Australian tax service eventually reduced her to poverty.

Jemeker Thompson

The crack trade in Los Angeles threatened to burn the City of Angels down in the 1980s, with multiple gang factions battling it out for corners. One of the most powerful people during that time was a young mother named Jemeker Thompson. After her partner Anthony Mosley was shot down in a drive-by while he washed his car, Thompson decided to run the business solo. It wasn't long before she expanded her business, pulling in hundreds of thousands of dollars a week. The police eventually started investigating her, so she fled Los Angeles for five years. Unfortunately for Thompson, her mothering instincts brought her back to attend her son's 6th grade graduation, and the cops were waiting. She served a dozen years in prison and has since reformed and wrote a book.

Katherine Knight

Australian woman Karen Knight is rightly known as one of the most brutal female serial killers ever. In her teens, she started working at a slaughterhouse, which trained her how to efficiently work with meat. The men in her life were the targets of her rage. On her wedding night, she attempted to strangle her husband to death because he fell asleep before she was sexually satisfied. She then later cracked him with a frying pan so hard she fractured his skull. After they divorced, Knight started dating, and her boyfriends fared no better - she cut the throat of David Saunders' dingo puppy and later stabbed him in the stomach with a pair of scissors. Her final crime came at the expense of a man named John Price. Knight stabbed him at least 37 times, decapitated him and cooked some of his organs to feed his children. She was arrested and sentenced to life in prison.

Anna Gristina

Prostitution has long been the domain of the fairer sex, but typically the top of the ladder is occupied by a male pimp. Anna Gristina, known as the "Manhattan Madam," defied that stereotype. The suburban mother of four ran a massive prostitution ring in New York City that counted dozens of high-profile athletes and entertainers among its client list. She was busted in 2011 after setting up a date between two of her girls and an undercover police officer, but plead guilty and got just six months in prison. Since then, she's been threatening to release her client list and bring down careers on a regular basis.

Dorothea Puente

You have to be pretty sick to prey on society's weakest people, but Dorothea Puente took sick to a whole new level. The Sacramento, California socialite ran a boarding house for the elderly and disabled, but instead of taking care of her charges, she seized their Social Security checks and abused them. The ones who complained were murdered and buried in Puente's back yard. When police came by to investigate the disappearance of a schizophrenic tenant, they spotted freshly-disturbed soil. Digging it up revealed the corpse of a 78 year old woman. Puente was charged with nine murders in total, and given double life sentences at the age of 64.

Arizona Barker

Let's close this out with one of the most famous criminal mothers in history. Arizona Barker was the matriarch of a criminal family that ran riot over the American Midwest. Her story starts in 1892, when she married a tenant farmer named George. The pair would have four layabout sons, and instead of encouraging them to take up the family business, Ma Barker let them slide into a life of crime, using her shack as a hideout. During the 1930s, her sons would steal over a million dollars in bank robberies, shooting their way out in a hail of bullets. When the FBI came to take her and son Fred in, the duo responded with a barrage of machine gun fire. After the smoke cleared, both Barkers were found dead inside, with FBI director J. Edgar Hoover proclaiming her "the most vicious, dangerous and resourceful criminal brain of the last decade."

 

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This Conversation Between Friends Using iPhone 3's Predictive Text Feature Is Hilarious

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This conversation between friends that only uses sentences spit out by iPhone 3's predictive text feature makes absolutely no sense. And that's what you'd expect. It's also hilarious and I can't stop reading it. From now on, I am definitely going to end all of my future text conversations with the phrase, "I am a beautiful person."

funny predictive text conversation

 

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Family Guy: A History of Controversy

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family guy controversy

Believe it or not, cartoons are able to get away with a lot based solely on their animated nature. Even when a character does something especially raunchy or offensive, you can't really get all that worked up about it. After all, it's not like the controversial subject matter is coming out of the mouth of an actual person (OK, technically it is, but we don't see it). Now, it's a little easier to cast blame when it comes to a show like "South Park," which has been written and voiced by the same two men since its inception, but when it comes to rival series "Family Guy," the line is more blurred due to the sheer amount of writers the show has had (50 and counting, with a number of different showrunners, too). That said, it's still seen plenty of public outcry through the years, which we plan to tackle in broad strokes. However, because of the show's use of non-sequitur cutaways, we can't hit on every joke that has offended someone or this page would be a mile long. We'll simply focus on some of the most notorious examples.

The FCC
family guy controversy
Anyone who has seen even one episode of "Family Guy" shouldn't be surprised that it is one of the Parent Television Council's most hated shows. In fact, they have filed numerous indecency complaints to the FCC since the series premiered, and even launched one against the Season 4 episode "PTV" that heavily skewed the FCC itself in a musical number which the PTC encouraged members to formally complain about due to its sexually explicit humor. The song has since gone on to be considered one of the show's most catchy numbers, and was rehashed into the opening of the 2007 Emmy Awards. Just because the FCC is required to take every complaint seriously, however, that doesn't mean that watchdog groups automatically get their way. In fact, they rarely do. But that hasn't stopped them from trying over and over again, taking on episodes such as "Family Gay," "Brian & Stewie," and most recently the Season 13 episode "Quagmire's Mom" which centers on a character who gets charged with the statutory rape of a minor.

Rape and Domestic Violence
family guy controversy
"Tactful" would probably not be the best word to describe how "Family Guy" handles sensitive material. Piggybacking off of our last category, when it comes to topics such as rape, which is already taboo, the show often tries and fails to make light of the situation. Unless you possess the dark sense of humor required to find cutaways like this Aquaman bit funny instead of appalling, more newsworthy instances of poorly executed rape jokes like Stewie's prank phone call in the "The Simpsons Guy" will no doubt offend you as they did numerous media outlets. Along those very same lines, domestic violence has never been a strong suit for "Family Guy" either, with the Season 10 episode "Screams of Silence: The Story of Brenda Q" standing out the most. Many critics bashed it for not only being unfunny, but hardly even satirical in the way it conveyed a woman in an abusive relationship. Random cutaways tackling said issue rarely do much better.

Disease and Other Physical Handicaps
family guy controversy
By now, we imagine you are beginning to get the picture. "Family Guy" will make fun of just about anything and almost prides itself on it. We're not judging one way or another, as that is not the point of this article, but it has certainly made them plenty of enemies along the way. Memorable instances of the show poking fun at serious ailments include their many shots at Parkinson's disease (particularly at the expense of actor Michael J. Fox), Down Syndrome, and of course, AIDS. The latter drew heavy protest from organizations such as ActionAIDS for its cavalier approach to the subject matter in the Season 4 episode "The Cleveland-Loretta Quagmire," which featured a barbershop quartet delivering a positive diagnosis to a terminal patient with a now infamous song and dance number (listen to it here). Considering one of its main recurring characters is a paraplegic, the series probably skewers wheelchair-bound disabilities most. It does this by simply using him as the mouthpiece for these jokes in an attempt to soften the blow. This goes back to what we mentioned earlier concerning whose mouth certain lines come out of when it comes to animation. Still, episodes like Season 5's "No Meals on Wheels" can take this tactic to the extreme.

Tragedy
family guy controversy
As someone who was nearly a victim of the events of September 11th himself, you would think Seth MacFarlane would be a little more sensitive towards the 9/11 jokes used on "Family Guy." Alas, he seemingly couldn't care less, even when his characters anger thousands by, for example, high-fiving each other after deciding to let the tragic event take place rather than stopping it (Note: the plot of the episode in question, "Road to the Pilot," involved the use of time travel). But if the old adage of "Tragedy plus time equals comedy" is true, then perhaps those offended after more than 10 years are the ones in the wrong. Still, one can never be too careful, even when making jokes that involve a hypothetical tragedy. In the Season 11 episode "Turban Cowboy," two separate gags depicting a character running over dozens of Boston Marathon participants and accidentally setting off bombs in the street with a cell phone, respectively, wound up being quite foreboding of the Boston Marathon bombing which took place less than a month later. Had someone not edited the clips together to make them seem like they predicted the event, perhaps the episode wouldn't have been viewed as quite so controversial.

Religion and Politics
family guy controversy
"Family Guy" has been considered a liberal mouthpiece for Seth MacFarlane's own political agenda for years, which anyone who doesn't share his opinions is sure to find annoying. However, this only causes more of a stir when the show, for instance, compares presidential candidate John McCain and running mate Sarah Palin to Nazis (again, through the use of time travel in this particular instance). While political issues are about the hottest button besides religion, the show certainly shows no restraint in that category either. It has depicted Jesus Christ as a recurring character on several occasions, but most recently in a Christmas-themed episode titled "The 2,000-Year-Old Virgin" which saw him on a quest to get laid. This offended Christians worldwide even by the usual "Family Guy" standards. Then again, the show is no stranger to mocking other faiths, occasionally extending its reach to those who don't even necessarily watch the show like it did in 2012 with a highly offensive Emmy campaign mailer which used the terminology "...bloated, overprivileged Brentwood Jews..." as a means to win award votes.

More Touchy Subject Matter
family guy controversy
The list goes on an on. "Family Guy" regularly takes racial stereotypes and makes them into cutaways, features characters who are implied to be pedophiles and tries to make them funny, and was seriously criticized by organizations such as the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD) for their portrayal of transgender people in the Season 8 episode "Quagmire's Dad." While the episode itself wasn't overly critical of transgender individuals themselves, it was the extended vomiting sequence after a character unknowingly had sex with one such individual that angered the LGBT community. Along with this and countless other examples, the series continues to take on any controversial subject it can work into an episode with arguably less subtlety each time, which can be seen as good or bad depending on your sense of humor.

Banned from TV
family guy controversy
Despite all the controversial material "Family Guy" has been able to get away with over the course of its 16 years on television, there have still been a few episodes which FOX has refused to air (at least initially). The first case was the Season 3 finale "When You Wish Upon a Weinstein." While tame by the standards of the show now, it was pulled back in 2002 because it was thought to illicit an anti-Semitic response. And with it featuring a song titled "I Need a Jew," FOX could hardly be blamed for its decision. It later aired in 2004 on the network after Adult Swim put it on television a year prior. Then there's the Season 8 finale "Partial Terms of Endearment" in which a character becomes a surrogate for a couple who winds up dying and is faced with the decision of whether or not to then have an abortion. Considering the show's incredibly lax attitude towards matters such as this, it's no wonder the network has still never aired it to this day, citing both sensitive subject matter and advertiser concerns for its decision.

On a lighter note, the Season 7 episode "420" which dealt with the legalization of marijuana was never aired in Venezuela. However, it had no problem passing inspection here in the U.S.

Originality and Quality
family guy controversy
Closing our list out is an issue of plagiarism and merit. Right out of the gate, it was hard not to compare "Family Guy" to "The Simpsons," especially when it premiered right after the long-running series following Super Bowl XXXIII. Coupling this with both shows centering on working-class families with three kids and the inevitable jokes which were strikingly similar to each other, it was only a matter of time before other popular cartoons including "The Simpsons," "Futurama" and, of course, "South Park" began taking shots at it for both mimicking shows that came before it and its overuse of cutaways (or manatee jokes if you prefer).

In the end, like all comedy, everything boils down to opinion. What offends one person or group of people won't necessarily offend another. The real issue here comes down to whether you find a series like "Family Guy" of a quality that deserves to offend the masses. Has it earned the right to do so through biting social commentary such as that seen on "South Park," or is it just a poor excuse to try and get a rise out of people as lazily as possible? Regardless, one thing should now be abundantly clear: if you can't take a joke that unapologetically push the envelope, stay out of Seth MacFarlane's kitchen.

 

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2015: The Year of the Big Blockbuster Sequel

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You may have an eyeful of new films coming at you, including plenty of book adaptations brought to life, but 2015 is unofficially the year of the big blockbuster movie sequel with some of the most successful movie franchises resurfacing with a new era of films.

The Avengers: Age of Ultron (May 1)
Blockbuster Sequels, Movies,
The superhero squad is back for its second installment as super genius, Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr.), creates a program that will take over for the Avengers, but things go wrong, forcing the team to put down the very system invented to replace them: Ultron, played by the majestic James Spader. The Avengers, of course, will deal with their inner turmoil, trying not to kill each other while simultaneously taking down their newest, cleverest opponent. Expect Hulk to smash.

Insidious: Chapter 3 (June 5)
Blockbuster Sequels, Movies
Quinn Brenner (Stefanie Scott) and her father (Dermot Mulroney) are new to the building, and everything seems peachy with their new neighbors, but that's right before things get creepy for the young teen. As the story circles back to the beginning, watch the prequel to the haunting of the Lambert family that has psychic Elise Rainier (Lin Shaye) attempting to save the little girl from the supernaturally dangerous in her new home. Expect pee in your pants.

Jurassic World (June 12)
Blockbuster Sequels, Movies
The park has become a tourist-friendly environment where the dinosaurs of the prehistoric world are on show like whales at Sea World, but when their latest hybrid experiment becomes an intelligent monster, it breaks lose and starts hunting for sport. Owen Grady (Chris Pratt) becomes something of the dinosaur tamer and has to find a new way to save the park before everyone and everything in its path is killed. Expect Andy Dwyer to grow some balls, as well as a cool mustache.

Ted 2 (June 26)
Blockbuster Sequels, Movies
Ted is back, and he's more huggable than ever as he gets married in Seth MacFarlene's clever "Family Guy" meets Snuggles meets..."Family Guy" sequel. On top of the marriage, Ted is looking to adopt, and since he's not producing a whole lot of human DNA, he has to prove his humanity in order to be cleared as a viable father figure. Expect lots of laughs and plenty of bong rips.

Vacation (July 31)
Blockbuster Sequels, Movies
Possibly one of the best family comedy franchise successes, the Griswolds are back, and they're all grown up. With more focus on the kids and grand kids, Rusty (Ed Helms) takes his kids to Wally World to grow closer with his sons and hotter with his wife, Debbie (Christina Applegate). But with his clumsy pops (Chevy Chase), his implosive mom (Beverly D'Angelo) and his big sis (Leslie Mann), nothing is likely to go according to plan. Expect half the cast of "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" and the happ-happ-happiest family road trip you ever laid eyes on. Holy shit! Where's the Tylenol?

Terminator: Genisys (July 1)
Blockbuster Sequels, Movies
Arnold has returned after a quick dip in the indie pool with zombie thriller "Maggie," but now he's back in 1984 protecting Sarah Connor who's a skilled fighter as Kyle Reese enters their world in an attempt to save his mother from her death. As Reese changes the past, the timeline is altered and he must reset the future. Expect a plot line that's been done a million times.

Magic Mike XXL (July 1)
Blockbuster Sequels, Movies
Three years after hanging up his banana hammock, Mike (Channing Tatum) gets the Kings of Tampa back for one final blow out, so to speak. Expect 90 minutes of bulges, and women to be calling their boyfriend Mike for a week.

Mission: Impossible - Rogue Nation (July 31)
Blockbuster Sequels, Movies
Bumped up in the calendar from Christmas to summer, hunky Tom Cruise is back as Ethan Hunt as the team goes up against an international rogue organization just like them, designed to take them down. Expect this mission to be a whole lot more impossible than the others, and expect Tom to continue his own stunts despite his doctor's stern advise to take it easy at the age of 52.

Paranormal Activity: Ghost Dimension (October 23)
Blockbuster Sequels, Movies
A newly moved couple and their daughter arrive in Palo Alto, California, along with their brother, but as they try to get comfortable in their new surroundings, they find their lives being invaded by a ghostly presence in the fifth installment of the "Paranormal Activity" franchise. Expect lots of grainy footage and lots of crying in horror while Hollywood milks another one with a cheaper debut director.

Spectre (November 6)
Blockbuster Sequels, Movies
James Bond is back since his resurrection in "Skyfall" only to dwell into his past to uncover the meaning of a cryptic message to help bring down an evil organization. Daniel Craig returns for his fourth stint as 007 with Christoph Waltz as his opponent. Ralph Fiennes will be the new M. Expect a few explosions and a Bond Girl who's way too hot for you.

The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part II (November 20)
Blockbuster Sequel, Movies
Jennifer Lawrence is back as archer Katniss in the concluding pages of the concluding chapter of the Suzanne Collins book series as she - Jennifer, not Suzanne - takes on President Snow (Donald Sutherland) in a final showdown during the great war with the help of Gale Hawthorne (Liam Hemsworth) and Peeta (Josh Hutcherson). Expect Katniss to battle both physically and emotionally, as well as sexually and hopefully pretty nakedly.

Star Wars VII: The Force Awakens (December 18)
Blockbuster Sequel, Movies
Old Veterans (Ford, Fisher, Hamill) reprise their roles as Han Solo, Luke Skywalker and Princess Leia for the first time in three decades along with new faces (Daisy Ridley, Andy Serkis, Adam Driver) in the seventh live action installment, which picks up with Han Solo returning home. Directed by J.J. Abrams, this is the first of a three-part trilogy, a three peat if you will, to the George Lucas franchise. Expect lasers, nostalgia and everyone chanting for Carrie Fisher to bust out that classic Princess Leia outfit.

BONUS: Alvin and the Chipmunks: Road Chip (December 23)
Blockbuster sequels, Movies, 2015
All we can tell you is that it's chip-hunky. The fourth installment features Jason Lee as the voice of David and Justin Long, Matthew Gray Gubler, and Jesse McCartney as the voices of the chipmunks. Should make for a wonderful Christmas family film, and a real slam chip-dunk.

 

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This Week's 20 Funniest Tweets

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Another week, another batch of the most hilarious tweets compiled just for you. Be sure to follow these guys and gals, and check back here every week for more jokes you can tell your friends and pretend you came up with them yourself. They'll think you're hilarious, but inside you'll be cold and dead.


Follow @robfee on Twitter.


More very funny tweets can be found right here.

 

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This Woman Football Player Can Outdrink You Any Day Of The Week

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Meet Alli Alberts: The Greatest Beer-Drinking Woman in Football

Alli Alberts, a football player for the Chicago Bliss, celebrated her three catches for 56 yards MVP performance by downing an entire beer, and then tossing it into the stands like a champ. All while wearing lingerie. And all while making you feel worse about throwing up after one margarita that one time during brunch.

 

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Hip-Hop Dame Dolly Castro Has Dangerous Curves

The 5 Most Messed Up Things People Have Done To Get Revenge


Rugby Players Who Lost Their Teeth Had Them Replaced With Bottle Openers

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teeth bottle opener, rugby tooth bottle opener
Of course, you won't want them opening your beer.

According to The LAD Bible, an Argentinian beer company has come up with perhaps the best tooth replacement since gold. Yup, you guessed it: bottle openers.

Salta Beer, the main sponsor of the Salta Rugby Union, released this amazing ad campaign detailing how they are rewarding those players "who gave everything they've got on the field, including their teeth" by giving them tooth implants that double as bottle openers.


Based on what we've seen, the Argentinian dental surgeons did some pretty solid work. And it looks like if any of those former players are having trouble finding work after rugby life, there is no way their local dive bar can turn them away from being their next bartender.

Well, as long as they promise not to eat garlic fries before their shift.

​Even if one of your friends isn't a toothless rugby player, there are still ways to open your bottle of High Life: Opening Beers Without Bottle Openers: A Compilation

 

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Microsoft's New Face API Will Guess Your Age From a Photo...Terribly

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If we were at a county fair, the Microsoft "Guess Your Age" tent would be out of prizes already.

According to Gizmodo, Microsoft is using their new Face API to power the website how-old.net, where they will guess the age of people from a single photo. However, odds are they're going to guess wrong and make you feel like pure garbage in the process.

Take the photo below that was taken at the World Cup in Brazil last year, for example. Our super lucky editors Max and Gary spent 10 days down there thanks to Degree, and they decided to take a picture next to a couple huge creepy statues for some reason. How-old.net said the guys were both 39 years old even though they were 32 and 31 years old respectively.

How-old.net tries to guess your age from a photo
And this is our editor-in-chief Paul enjoying the hell out of some cheese pizza. How-old.net said he was a 41-year-old woman despite the fact that he's really a 35-year-old dude. Maybe Microsoft's Face API was just as confused about his "reflection" as we were.

How-old.net tries to guess your age from a photo
The bottom line? You guessed it: Gary might want to think about shaving.

Hey, it could be a lot worse. They could have created an app that allows you to share your farts with people. Oh wait... Finally, An App That Lets You Share Your Farts With People Who Want to Hear Them

 

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Aurielee Summers is a Fresh-Faced Sex Siren

YouTube Star Shocked To Learn She Has Two Vaginas

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Relax, guys. It's not what you think. It's not like she has a home and away court.

According to Cosmopolitan, a 22-year-old YouTube sensation who decided to see a doctor about the back pain she was experiencing was stunned when scans revealed that not only was she missing a kidney, but she was also the proud owner of two vaginas.

YouTube star has two vaginas
"I didn't really know what to make of it," Cassandra Bankson said. "It certainly helped explain a lot of things."

Bankson said she had often suffered from "terrible period cramps" and would sometimes bleed for up to 21 days at a time. That's because her condition, known in the medical biz as uterus didelphys, means that even though she has one vaginal opening like most other women, she has "two vaginal cavities, two uteruses, and two cervices."

Women who suffer from Bankson's condition can actually have more than one period a month and be pregnant with "non-identical twin babies at the same time." Sex can be more difficult and more painful, as well.

Bankson seems to be doing just fine with the news, as she told her mom she's now "twice the woman." Although, it will be interesting to see if she's still in such a cheery mood the next time she's having two periods at the same time.

So, this is gross: Wisconsin Student Makes Yogurt With Her Vagina

 

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'Arrow' Actress Celina Jade is a Gem

Venezuelan TV Reporter Gets Naked For Ronaldo

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naked venezuelan reporter, ronaldo news reporter gets nude
Well, this is one way to get more people interested in soccer. Yuvi Pallares of Venezuelan TV wanted to show her country and the rest of the world that she is a huge fan of soccer, but an even bigger fan of Christiano Ronaldo as she decided to strip down and bare it all on national television.


Pallares was discussing Ronaldo and his gal pal Daniella Chavez when apparently the topic of news was too much to handle for Pallares, and off with the clothes she went. Pallares still hands out the bit of reporting through it all, proving once and for all that Venezuela is the best when it comes to handling the news. Your move, Diane Sawyer.

Via Playboy

 

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11 Idiots Who Were Fired After Their Boss Saw Their Facebook Post

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Look everyone, how many times do you have to be told that the Internet is a very public place. If you're gonna put something out there, you'd better damn well be prepared that it might come back to haunt you. And if you need to complain about your job, well, don't do it on Facebook. Especially if you happen to be friends with your boss. May what happened to these idiotic people never happen to you.

people fired on facebook, funny facebook boss



















And although this isn't from Facebook, it's still worthy of being in this collection:

 

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Today's Funny Photos

10 Celebrities Who Have Served At Least One Year In Jail

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Celebrities have it all, don't they? From loads of cash to...actually, that's pretty much the sweetest perk. Thus, there's seemingly nothing famous people can't buy their way out of. Well, except prison, of course. The following list of movie stars, musicians and athletes may truly have it all, but unfortunately that includes a rap sheet containing at least a one-year prison conviction.

Robert Downey Jr.
celebrities in jail, robert downey jr
With all of his recent success in the popular "Iron Man" and "Avengers" franchises, few people either know or remember that Tony Stark himself did hard time back in 1999 for wandering into a neighbor's home and passing out while high, then missing his subsequent drug test while on probation. So just how hard of time are we talking? After initially being sentenced to three years, Downey wound up serving just one at the California Substance Abuse Treatment Facility and State Prison.

Wesley Snipes
celebrities in jail, wesley snipes
Remember how we said having boatloads of money when you are celebrity is a perk? It turns out that is only true when you pay the taxes on said millions. Along with fellow celebrities such as singer-songwriter Lauryn Hill and "Survivor" winner Richard Hatch, Wesley Snipes found this out the hard way in 2008 after being charged with failing to file income taxes on over $17 million from 1999-2001. He was sentenced to three years in a Pennsylvania federal prison in 2010. However, he was released after 28 months.

Tim Allen
celebrities in jail, tim allen
Most people will get out of jail early on good behavior. That's one way to reduce your sentence. Tim Allen, on the other hand, had his own method. After getting busted in 1978 at Kalamazoo/Battle Creek International Airport with 1.4 pounds of cocaine, he simply gave up the names of several other drug dealers in order to get a potential life sentence for felony drug charges reduced. We're not sure how he survived his two years and four months in Sandston Federal Correctional Institution in Minnesota after pulling a stunt like that, but we can't imagine it was pleasant.

Danny Trejo
celebrities in jail, danny trejo
And you thought Danny Trejo was just a badass in his movies. It turns out that prior to going Hollywood, the 70-year-old Los Angeles native had spent a significant amount of his youth in and out of prison. The first on this list whose prison time is collective rather than a single incident, Trejo served a total of 11 years in Folsom, Soledad and San Quentin state prisons for various drug and robbery charges from 1961-1972. During this time, he became the boxing champion for his weight class at every facility he served time in. This would eventually lead into how he got his start in film, as he was hired to train actor Eric Roberts for "Runaway Train" in 1985. The small role he was given wound up being the fresh start he needed to turn it all around.

Mike Tyson
celebrities in jail, mike tyson
Speaking of boxers, Mike Tyson was famously sentenced to six years at the Indiana Youth Center in 1992 after allegedly raping former Miss Black Rhode Island Desiree Washington. He was, however, released after three years on good behavior. During his time in prison, the former heavyweight champion also converted to Islam, which likely played a major role in his early release. To this day, he still vehemently denies the charges brought against him.

Ja Rule
celebrities in jail, ja rule
If you're going to commit multiple crimes, you might as well stack them in such a way that you can knock the sentences out all at once. That appears to be rapper Ja Rule's credo, at least. After being sentenced to two years in prison in 2010 for possession of a loaded semi-automatic handgun from a 2007 incident, he began serving that time in June 2011 after turning himself in to the authorities. A month later, he was also convicted of evading his taxes from 2004-2006 on over $3 million worth of earnings. While this tacked on 28 months in the pen, he was allowed to serve both concurrently. He was officially released from jail on both charges in May 2013.

Tom Sizemore
celebrities in jail, tom sizemore
Another Hollywood tough guy with a rough patch, Tom Sizemore had already risen to stardom prior to running into trouble with the law -- not to mention hard drugs. After being convicted of assault and battery of then girlfriend Heidi Fleiss in 2003, he was sentenced to six months at Peasant Valley State Prison. Sadly, after his initial release, a violation of his parole due to drugs landed him back in jail, this time getting slapped with a harsher 16-month sentence (lucky for him, the 213 days he'd already served counted towards this). Since then, he's done his best to clean up his act, even releasing an autobiography on his troubled past back in 2013.

Phill Lewis
celebrities in jail, phill lewis
You'll have to excuse the photo above, as it's difficult to find any photos of actor Phill Lewis that aren't hilarious. However, the circumstances of his arrest back in 1991 are anything but. After getting behind the wheel with a blood alcohol level of nearly three times the legal limit in the state of Maryland, Lewis collided head on with another vehicle, killing 21-year old Isabel Duarte in the process. He was convicted of manslaughter in 1993 and sentenced to five years in prison. Due to his work with a prison-based theater troupe prior to his sentencing, his time spent in jail was reduced significantly down to just one year. While this may seem unfair, he's certainly not the first celebrity to kill someone and walk away with minimal consequences.

Shelley Malil
celebrities in jail, shelley malil
If the name Shelley Malil doesn't ring any bells, that's because he could barely be considered famous prior to his arrest in 2008 for stabbing ex-girlfriend Kendra Beebe 23 times. Probably known best for his role in the comedy "The 40-Year-Old Virgin," the promising actor instead wound up convicted of attempted murder and assault with a deadly weapon in September 2010. He was sentenced to life imprisonment in Ironwood State Prison with a possibility of parole in 14 years.

O.J. Simpson
celebrities in jail, oj simpson
You had to see this one coming. No matter what your thoughts are on the murders of Nicole Brown Simpson and Ronald Goldman in 1994, that doesn't change the fact that former athlete turned movie star O.J. Simpson simply couldn't keep himself out of trouble after that. This is evidenced by his 2008 conviction for armed robbery and kidnapping after a failed attempt to steal back memorabilia he claimed to be his, resulting in 33 years at Lovelock Correctional Center with a possibility of parole in no less than 9. The biggest ironic twist of all: his sentencing came an unlucky 13 years to the day after his acquittal in 1995. And "The Juice" was potentially never on the loose again. The End.

 

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Crazy Facts About Your Favorite Classic Movies

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I love just about every one of these movies and yet just about every one of these facts was totally new to me. Enjoy stumping your friends the next time you start arguing about your favorite movies at the bar.

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crazy movie facts

Via 22 Words

 

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Teen Gets Suspended For Sassy Answers To Sex Ed Quiz

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Between "16 and Pregnant," "Teen Mom" and all the other shows that promise fame and money if you give in and pop out a few babies, a lot of young people don't seem to understand the horrors of unprotected sex. But one 14-year-old understands it all, and she made sure she was brutally honest on a sex ed quiz; so honest she got suspended for it.

She was asked to read through a list of objections to using condoms. Then she was asked how to respond to those objections. Technically, every one of her answers are legit. Check out the full quiz below:

Funny, Sex

Let's hope the young girl's parents are proud of their child for being smart enough to see through all the bull people say sometimes in order to get sex. These questions and answers should be copied, pasted on every sex education textbook in the country and handed out to every school.

Via Someecards

 

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13 Women Share the Moment They Realized They Were Dating a Crazy Person

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Recently, I asked a few of my guy friends to share the story of the moment they realized the girl they were dating was a complete crazy person. It seemed only fair to flip the tables and ask the ladies about some of the craziest guys they've ever dated. It's great to know that, men and women alike, can be completely nuts and turn a healthy relationship into a living nightmare. Hooray, dating!

 

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