It's not enough to have a normal pet when you're rich and famous; you've got to get some ridiculously exotic animal in your home or on your shoulder to draw even more attention to yourself. To all the celebrities with their pet octopuses and pot-bellied pigs, we say this: Rescue a dog like a normal person, you lunatics. Actually, these are pretty cool pets. We're just jealous.
Paris Hilton's Kinkajou
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Carrying a puppy in a purse worth more than dog turds dunked in gold,
Paris Hilton graduated to the magical kingdom of kinkajou ownership. Kinkajous are the real life honey bear, a rainforest mammal relative to raccoons and olingos, only way cuter. That's probably why she got it -- "that's hot" -- and had nothing to do with the fact that it could eat her alive. Eventually, the kinkajou bit her and she was rushed to the emergency room, claiming "stupid f**king monkey just bit me." Wait, who's the stupid one here?
Megan Fox's Pig, Piggy Smalls
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In 2009,
Megan Fox reportedly moved into a large estate where she constructed her own private animal kingdom, which consisted of five dogs, two cats, two birds, a squirrel and a pot-bellied pig named Piggy Smalls. Lucky friggin' animals.
George Clooney's Pot-Bellied Pig
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"
Tomorrowland" star George Clooney also had a pot-bellied pig of his own named Max. In 2006, Max passed away, weighing nearly 300 pounds.
Nicolas Cage's Octopus
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In addition to having some rare cobra snakes, the "Adaptation" actor also dropped $150k on a pet octopus, one of the most expensively exotic pet's of the celebrity populous.
Mike Tyson's Tiger
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The former boxer turned actor at one time had seven -- not one, but seven -- Bengal tigers, which ran Tyson about $4,000 each month. The tiger in "The Hangover" film was reportedly Tyson's, but around the time he had the full seven Bengals, a man who broke into his home got his arm ripped off (in real life) before the city of Las Vegas took them away. He also has a pigeon coup, which really balances out the tiger thing.
Reese Witherspoon's Asses
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The "Wild" actress apparently wasn't adorable enough; she had to go and get herself a pair of adorable donkeys, too. The baby asses, Honky and Tonky, are not the only pets of hers.
Witherspoon also has two pigs, three goats, 20 chickens, three dogs and her very own pony. If the donkeys weren't pissing off the neighbors, one of those others sure will. What an ass!
Kirstie Alley's Lemurs
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The "Cheers" actress was well known as the punching bag of the overweight joke community, but she's created a new attraction for people with her pet lemurs, Madagascar's nearly fictional looking primate. Alley is said to have spent nearly $40k each year on her three lemurs.
Vanilla Ice's Wallaroo
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In 2004, Vanilla Ice's pet wallaroo, Bucky Buckaroo, and goat got loose in his local Florida town. A wallaroo is a cross of a wallaby and kangaroo, and Ice's scratched a woman then kicked her car before animal control picked it up. He also owned a monkey and a lynx. Elvis Presley also had a kangaroo.
Justin Bieber's Capuchin Monkey
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In 2013, Bieber's pet monket, Mally, was confiscated in Germany while the pop singer was on tour for lacking the necessary paperwork to have the monkey with him. It appears Bieber saw one too many episodes of "Friends," and the monkey was taken in by a German zoo who requested money from Bieber to care for the animal. Or perhaps it was some sort of a lazy pet owner/douche tax. The monkey reunion in the photo from Justin Bieber's roast was reportedly a hoax.
Miley Cyrus' Micro Pig
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The pig-tailed singer got a matching piglet of her own named Bubba Sue. In 2014, Cyrus posted a photo of herself giving her pet a pedicure, sparking worry that this piglet pedi may have been a step too close to animal torture. Other things in the news besides the number of people with no lives dramatically increasing, it appears Miley's piglet is now a fat pig. Miley has chickens, too. That's not as exotic, but still weird.
Kristen Stewart's Wolf Dog
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The "Twilight" star got a werewolf of her own when she found her pet wolf dog, Jack. Her mother actually raises the hybrid animals, which are legal in certain states, and Kristen's was the eldest of the pack. Makes you wonder who she was really rooting for in that little vampire saga. Actually, it does not.
The Kardashians' Chimp
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If you didn't think this family was ridiculous before, back in 2009 the Kardashians adopted a chimpanzee, Suzy, after a show biz monkey had just viciously attacked its owner days prior. The family claims the photos posted of the monkey were about six months old, and it was just inconvenient timing. Does anybody else here feel like they're reading TMZ.com? Who cares, moving on!
Leonardo DiCaprio's Tortoise
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The wolf of Wall Street paid a modest 400 bucks for his pet tortoise. In 2010, Leo visited Anaheim's North American Reptiles Breeders Conference and Trade Show where the African spurred tortoise was held. Its name remains unknown, but the reptile was seven years old and weighed 45 pounds. It can possibly grow up to 200 pounds and live as long as 80 years.
Steven Tyler's Raccoon
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The Aerosmith frontman had a pet raccoon named Bandit in his Massachusetts home. Despite their aggressive stereotype, raccoons are apparently legal to own and are trained in the same manner as most dogs, however commonly using a litter box for potty training. Tyler claims he put the 'coon on his shoulder when he went fishing every day.
