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Dirty Rotten Liars Busted On The Internet

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Whether it's a small lie or a big lie, everyone lies, but nothing is as bad as being caught lying on the Internet. It is evidence of your awful lies for all to see. Forever. Check out these liars being caught and called out on social media.

Funny, Internet

Funny, Internet

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Via Playboy

 

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This Is The Worst Way To Convince Your Wife You Are Not Drunk

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We've all tried to convince others we weren't as drunk as they accused us of being, usually to no avail. But attempting to have a conversation with an inanimate object usually isn't going to help your cause.

 

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Real Friend vs. Drinking Buddy

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A lot of social functions involve alcohol. But can you function socially without alcohol? Let's take a look at the subtle differences between those people in your life who you can't live without and those people in your life who you can't drink without. Here's a breakdown of real friends and drinking buddies.

real friend vs drinking buddy

 

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Man Humping a Car Doesn't Give a Damn That He's Being Recorded (NSFW)

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Look, I love great gas mileage just as much as the next guy, but this is ridiculous.

56 independent automotive journalists recently came to the conclusion that the 2015 Volkswagen Golf and Golf GTI should be named North American Car of the Year, and why not? With Bi-Xenon headlights with LED DRLs, a Fender premium audio system, panoramic sunroof, touchscreen navigation and 34 MPG on the highway, it's hard to argue their claim.

And at least one guy will tell you that it doesn't get any better than the Golf's exhaust pipe.

This guy:


We're assuming the person filming this bizarre sex sesh was the car's owner, and you have to think he or she did the right thing by recording enough for evidence and then letting the guy finish, as disturbing him mid-plow would probably be similar to what happens when you wake up a sleepwalker.

In any event, the car's owner might want to think about parking it in the garage from now on or even better, moving out of Florida.

h/t Barstool Sports

It is apparently a tad more acceptable in the online community if you have sex with a food product: Dude Has Sex With Hot Pocket

 

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Gemma Lee Farrell Puts the 'Super' in Supergirl

Brittany Brousseau Has Us At Attention As Playboy's Miss May

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Brittany Brousseau rolls out the fancy carpet in this behind-the-scenes Playboy cover shoot. This Kansas girl was enrolled in the police academy, but just before shipping out, she was picked up to model, moved to California and now here she is, half naked and hauntingly delicious as Miss May for Playboy's latest spread. Still, we would not mind being pulled over by Brittany Brousseau one day.

 

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When Trying To Be Sexy Goes Wrong

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Despite sexual preference, when a man and a woman who register equally on the looks scale stand side-by-side, women are, without question, the more beautiful gender. With shapely bodies and hair the texture of silk, it's no contest. None whatsoever. But that's not to say there aren't instances where this winning beauty is put in question. For example, all of the women photographed in this category. Take a look, you'll see.

sexy fails
The best part is, that there wasn't even an attempt to hide the baby in this photo.


If Who Framed Roger Rabbit were a person, this would be her: half person, half cartoon.


Let me guess...this took place in the South?


Indeed, that is a dress made out of American cheese.


Evidently, women really like cheese.


Never mind that she's stepping in a bidet, but she's in there with socks on. Who in the hell wants wet socks?


Have at her, sneaker fetishists.


I hate bananas. Everything about this picture is unappealing.


A trashed X-Men concept that didn't quite stick. She was a lot like Jubilee, except her vagina launched fireworks.


Tarantino's new "Kill Bill" sequel looks interesting.


Oh, that's not sexy. It's just plain trashy.


The tampon certainly tops off this conservative ensemble.


I'm willing to bet this bronzer was intended for a different ethnicity.


The stickiness factor makes this concept even less attractive.


Dressed up with nowhere to go - except to the convenience store.


She knows that book's upside down, I'm sure of it.


Don't use your grandmother as a means of looking more attractive, because you lose; she's got nice damn legs.

 

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Today's Funny Photos


A Handy Guide to Sleeping Positions for Couples

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Every couple loves a good cuddle, but let's get real -- you can't spend all night in those cute, loving positions. Thankfully, the handy chart below illustrates five comfy sleeping positions that work well for snuggling duos, just as long as they don't transform into the positions that will cause nightmares on the right.

sleeping positions for couples, funny sleeping positions
via Swimmingly

 

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The Greatest Comedy Trios in Film History

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They say good things come in threes, and nothing could be more true in the case of the greatest comedy trios in film history. Since the 1930s, comedy has been best encapsulated by groups of three, beginning with simple slapstick up to today's explosive buddy comedies. With nearly a hundred years of history, check out some of the greatest 3-man teams, especially of the past 30 years, to grace the silver screen and still hold a comedy candle today.

Three Stooges (1932)
comedy trios, funniest comedy trios, funny movie trios
Though the oldest and most iconic trio originally began in 1930, it wasn't until 1932 that the eye-gauging, face-slapping knuckleheads introduced Curly to the crew, which continued on until 1946. In that time, the comedy trio became officially known as "The Three Stooges" after going by "Ted Healy and His Stooges" (also known as "Ted Healy and His Southern Gentlemen," "Ted Healy and His Three Lost Souls," "Ted Healy and His Racketeers" and "Ted Healy and his Three Stooges"). Of the nearly 200 films released under their franchise name, these three starred in only a dozen of them together. Larry, Moe and Curly were played respectively by Louis Feinberg, Moe Horwitz and Jerome Horwitz, all of which are deceased.

Ghostbusters (1984)
comedy trios, funniest comedy trios, funny movie trios
The classic cult comedy that gets better and more popular with age -- until they destroy it -- is the "Ghostbusters" franchise, started originally by the "Saturday Night Live" comedy trio Dan Aykroyd, Harold Ramis and Bill Murray. The first film was set to feature John Belushi, but upon his demise, Bill Murray stepped in. The trio would later go on to add Ernie Hudson as a fourth. The franchise is set to be rebooted by an all-female cast led by Melissa McCarthy and Kristen Wiig with a possible all-male reboot right behind the ladies.

¡Three Amigos! (1986)
comedy trios, funniest comedy trios, funny movie trios
Steve Martin, Chevy Chase and Martin Short banded together in their prime to create another one of the 1980s most lovable comedy trios. Three silent film stars are mistakenly identified as heroes, and despite their clear lack of heroism, the threesome goes from Hollywood to a small Mexican village to save its people from El Guapo, a notorious Mexican bandit. The film also stars one of the deceased "SNL" greats, Phil Hartman.

The 'Burbs (1989)
comedy trios, funniest comedy trios, funny movie trios
Bruce Dern and Rick Ducommun also star in one of the three greatest Tom Hanks-led '80s comedies, three of the greatest comedies in general. The three are suburbanite neighbors: Hanks plays the responsible practical neighbor, Dern the crazy ex-war vet with a hot wife and Ducommun the childish fat guy stuck in his adolescence. When the three notice a disturbance in their neighborhood, they go for the ghost stories only to find out they're true. A young Corey Feldman also stars in the classic suburban satire.

City Slickers (1991)
comedy trios, funniest comedy trios, funny movie trios
Following the days of "When Harry Met Sally...," Billy Crystal went on a cattle drive in a pair of "City Slickers" films with Daniel Stern and Jon Lovitz. On the cusp of going over the hill as 40-somethings, three urban New Yorkers take a vacation from the wives into the outback for a little adventure and self discovery (i.e. hilarious escapades for the early '90s). Jack Palance also drops in to teach Crystal about the meaning of life.

The Big Lebowski (1998)
comedy trios, funniest comedy trios, funny movie trios
Everyone loves The Dude, but he wouldn't be nearly as cool without John Goodman and Steve Buscemi on each side. In an unfortunate coincidence as having the same name as someone who owes a lot of people a lot of money, Jeff Lebowski offers relentless stoner wisdom and comedic moments with his bowling buddies. "Shut the fuck up, Donny."

Old School (2003)
comedy trios, funniest comedy trios, funny movie trios
Nothing can top Will Ferrell, especially when he's matched with comedic greats like Vince Vaughn (and Luke Wilson, I suppose). In the early Todd Phillips film days, we see them mesh perfectly in "Old School," a film about getting old but not growing up as three middle-aged dudes take over a campus with a made-up fraternity and a bit of jello. The greats revisited the scene in "Wedding Crashers" with the Wilson brother swap and knocked it out of the park yet again.

Superbad (2007)
comedy trios, funniest comedy trios, funny movie trios
The bumbling life of teen angst and raging hormones will lead just about any group of co-dependent teenagers to buy fake IDs and drink alcohol from a gas can. Jonah Hill stars in his first lead comedy role alongside his lifelong pal (Michael Cera) and the ever-adorkable McLovin (Christopher Mintz-Plasse) in this buddy comedy with a third nerd on the side. As dreamers of boob touching and ass pinching for the first time, watch a trio of virgins grow up a little quicker than they're capable of as they try to score the booze and babes of the decadent high school high life with the smoothness of sand paper and the hair styles of a sprouting patch of pubes.

The Hangover (2009)
comedy trios, funniest comedy trios, funny movie trios
Todd Phillips revisited the buddy comedy scene by directing Bradley Cooper, Zach Galifianakis and Ed Helms in his first trio trilogy starting in 2009. Set in Las Vegas on a simple four-man bachelor party, the life of a soon-to-be groom becomes uncertain as all of their lives are turned upside down by the ignorant wrongdoings of one arduous Alan (Galifianakis). As the stakes increased with each film, the comedic value dwindled, but the lead-off film was an edgy turning point in buddy comedy moviess that has taken the comedy film scene to a higher standard.

Horrible Bosses (2011)
comedy trios, funniest comedy trios, funny movie trios
A worst-case scenario of supervising sons of bitches leads three good-natured subordinates (Jason Bateman, Charlie Day, Jason Sudekis) to take matters into their own hands by killing each others' bosses (Kevin Spacey, Jennifer Aniston, Colin Farrell). In the most successful present day comedy trio, these three stumble through the life of cold blooded serial killing with the help of one bad ass mother fucker, Mother Fucker Jones himself (Jamie Foxx).

 

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Hair Metal Bands of the '80s: Then and Now

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Time tends to take its toll on all of us. For some of the biggest music icons of the '80s, a bunch of late nights, drugs, alcohol, and excessive partying have definitely done a number on the aging process. While some of them are aging quite well, it's safe to say that the majority are not. But we'll let you be the judge.

Bon Jovi
80s hair bands then and now


Cinderella


Def Leppard


Guns N' Roses


Judas Priest


Lita Ford


Mötley Crüe


Poison


Quiet Riot


Ratt


Skid Row


Stryper


Twisted Sister


Warrant


Blackie Lawless of W.A.S.P.


Whitesnake

(via FB-Troublemakers)

 

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Watch What Happens When This 102-Year-Old Woman Tries to Blow Out Her Candles

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She might be 102 years old, but Nonnie still knows how to party.

According to the Irish Examiner, a Connecticut woman attempting to blow out the candles on her birthday cake over the weekend instead blew out what was left of her dentures adhesive and spit out her false teeth in the process.


Lynsey Addario gathered with other family members on Mother's Day to help celebrate her grandmother's 102nd birthday and captured the hilarity from another angle before posting it to her Instagram page.

A video posted by @lynseyaddario on


From both angles, it looks like Nonnie is still a real hoot to be around after all this time.

And she should find solace in knowing that her dentures debacle wasn't the strangest part of those videos. I mean, who dropped the ball and brought Starbucks to a party in the Northeast? Everybody knows that is Dunkin' Donuts territory.

Imagine the sparks that would fly if Nonnie ever met this player: Watch This Grandpa Kill It on the Dance Floor

 

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Man Kills Imaginary Friend, Turns Self In, Takes World's Saddest Mug Shot

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Here you have another reason why drugs are bad, kids: you end up killing your imaginary friend and then demand the death penalty, which is exactly what one Florida man did.

News, Funny,

Geoff Gaylord walked into a Jacksonville Sheriff's Office and confessed to his crime: he had repeatedly stabbed his friend "Mr. Happy" with a kitchen knife, cut up Mr. Happy with a hatchet, and buried him in his backyard. Let me remind you again that this occurred in Florida, so perhaps it should come as a surprise to no one.

Gaylord and Mr. Happy were friends for seven years but, according to Gaylord, he killed him for a few reasons:

"He left his empty vodka bottles all over the kitchen... never picked up his empty cocaine baggies...He messed up my apartment to the point where I just couldn't get it clean...Before Hap started doing drugs and acting weird he was my BFF...We'd go dancing, play on the children's park equipment, both huge fans of doom metal - listened to it for hours with the lights turned off."

When Mr. Happy crashed Gaylord's car, and Gaylord got arrested instead, Gaylord had had enough.

"That drunk driving incident I got unfairly blamed for and just how messy he had become put me over the edge and I murdered him."

Gaylord was eventually taken into custody when he threatened police for not giving him the death penalty. Police found drug paraphernalia and a machine gun in Gaylord's house, and was booked on multiple charges.

So much for the BFF bracelets these two exchanged.

Via Moron

Editor's Note: So apparently this story comes from a phony site. Oh well. Even the smartest people in the world (read: Mandatory editors) get fooled every now and then. Enjoy the story anyway.

 

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The Nastiest Breakup Stories Ever

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Sure, breakups can be tough, but if mumbling awful things under their breath as they see pictures of you in your new relationship is the worst your ex can do, be glad they aren't any of these horrible people.

Funny, Funny Photos, Dating

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Funny, Funny Photos, Dating
Via Izismile

 

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Maryland Woman Arrested After Putting Her Skin Shavings In Roommates' Milk

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Milk was a bad choice.

According to The Washington Post, a 56-year-old Mechanicsville woman was charged with felony contamination of food or drink and second-degree assault after she allegedly took the skin she had shaved off her feet and put it in her roommates' milk.

woman puts skin shavings in roommates' milk
Police said Sarah Schrock was arrested on May 3 for violating a peace order that had been slapped on her by one of her roommates. That's when things really got ugly, like an "I'm going to retaliate by shaving skin off my feet and depositing it in your milk" kind of ugly.

On the night of May 4, two of Schrock's roommates and one other person returned to the residence, and each of them decided to have a glass of milk.

Almost immediately after taking a drink of the white stuff, one roommate began to gag and coughed up a chunk of human skin. The same thing happened to the second roommate. The third person decided against drinking milk that night.

No word on why the second roommate didn't do the same thing, but the three of them eventually poured the rest of the milk in a strainer and came to the conclusion that what was left resembled "something that looked like the skin shavings that Schrock kept in trays in her bedroom, the product of scraping the bottoms of her feet."

The worst part of that story? You guessed it: Being 56 years old and needing roommates.

If it's between skin shavings in my milk or getting shanked during a threesome, scrape me off some of that foot, girlfriend: Texas Man Stabs Roommate Who Was Having a Birthday Threesome

 

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The Mom From 'The Brady Bunch' Once Had Crabs

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Florence Henderson Recounts Getting An STD From A Former NYC Mayor

What's next, finding out June Cleaver got syphilis after a one-night stand with Eddie Haskell?

Florence Henderson recently joined The HuffPost Show to chat about her book "Life is Not a Stage" as well as the recent Aids Project Los Angeles benefit show she was part of that raised over $285,000 for the group.

It was at that moment that Henderson decided to drop the bomb that she once had an STD herself, thanks to a one-night rendezvous with former New York City mayor John Lindsay.

It turns out the former mayor gave Mrs. Brady crabs, and listening to her talk about how she contracted them is almost as disturbing as learning that Nickelback is planning on going back into the studio to record another album.

Seriously, the only comforting part of that story is knowing that I never slept with Florence Henderson. Or John Lindsay for that matter.

"The Brady Bunch" didn't make this list, but you'll be surprised which shows did: If You Like Any of These TV Shows, You Are a Total Asshole

 

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A Look At Tom Brady's Personal Wall Calendar During His Suspension

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The NFL has decided the appropriate punishment for cheating your way to a Super Bowl championship is a 4-game suspension. That'll teach them! It's easy to hate the Patriots, mainly because they've lied, cheated, manipulated, and murdered their way into NFL record books. So with the news of this punishment, what does that mean for quarterback Tom Brady? Here's an exclusive look at his calendar for the four weeks he'll be suspended from play.

tom brady, funny tom brady, deflategate, new england patriots, defalated footballs

 

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Emilia Clarke Wanted A Threesome with Channing Tatum and Jenna Dewan

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While playing the hot Daenerys Targaryean on "Game of Thrones," Emilia Clarke has probably been the focus of a lot of fantasies of men and women, but Clarke has a fantasy of her own: have a threesome with Channing Tatum and his wife Jenna Dewan.

News, Sex

Tatum and Dewan revealed themselves to be big "Game of Thrones" fans when they bumped into Clarke recently.

"Someone took a fantasy in my head and played it in real life. I was at a Golden Globes after-party and Channing Fucking Tatum came up to me, and his stunning missus, Jenna," Clarke said.

News, Sex

After Tatum and Dewan told Clarke that they call each other "moon of my life" and "my sun and stars," Clarke suggested something interesting:

"I cannot contain this. Please, can we all have something sexual together? You're both beautiful, even just a hug."

That Channing Tatum sure is a lucky man. But I guess he deserves it after wowing us on "Step Up."

Via Maxim

 

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Have Fun With Emily Chave

10 Celebrity Birth Names That Will Shock You

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10 Celebrity Birth Names That Will Shock You

OK, so maybe finding out what names these celebrities were born with won't actually shock you, but they are pretty darn interesting. I just played the game along with the video and only guessed four correctly. How did you do?

 

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