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Venezuelan Anchorwomen Strip Naked To Support Soccer Team

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When it comes down to it, the majority of people only care about soccer once every four years, but we care about the news, and we care about anchorwomen, and we care about naked anchorwomen telling us things. Anything at all.

Eight Venezuelan anchorwomen decided to strip down and bare it all in order to show support for their country's soccer team in the upcoming Copa America, which roughly translate as soccer tournament that will get 15 second coverage on the 1am SportsCenter version.

Venezuelan anchorwomen sure do love reporting the news naked as just last month a TV reporter got naked on television while talking about Christiano Ronaldo. Although I assume women just lose their clothes anytime Ronaldo walks by them.

Via NY Post

 

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Woman Goes Absolutely Nuts When Convenience Store Runs Out of Skittles (NSFW Language)

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No Skittles? Well, that's not very convenient at all.

That had to be what one woman was thinking when she tore up a downtown St. Louis convenience store all because they ran out of the popular candy.


Geez, take it easy lady. There were still plenty of delicious Kit Kats.

The first victims of the rampage appeared to be several different flavors of Tic Tacs and chewing gum. But the woman wasn't done there, as she ironically passed behind a guy wearing a "Don't Hate" shirt on her way to the shelves holding individually wrapped small candies.

From there, it was on to the store's miscellaneous aisle where you used to find cat food, dishwasher detergent and cans of creamed corn on the shelves. You can still find all of those items, except now they're all on the floor thanks to this woman's wave of destruction.

You know on second thought, we don't know what the hell she was thinking. Hopefully, somebody listened to her and called the police.

In a related story, those rank Dr. Pepper coolers in the front of store could use a bath and some new ice.

h/t Opposing Views

Heads up! This Walmart might be out of your favorite shampoo after this fracas: Two Women and a Kid Get in Giant Brawl Inside Indiana Walmart (NSFW Language)

 

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The Worst Quality of Each Zodiac Sign

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If you're a fan of astrology, you're probably know all about your Zodiac sign. You probably hold it close, cuddle with it, and think it superior to all others.

Well it's not.

Let's be honest. Most people read about their Zodiac sign just because it gives them a warm fuzzy feeling to hear about how "special," "unique," and "amazingly intelligent" they are. No one ever talks about the bad. I'm here to help you with that. The first time, I shared what your zodiac sign says about your sexual habits. This time, I'll share a few of the reasons your Zodiac just plain sucks, likely most of all.

Aquarius (January 21 - February 19)

The Aquarius is a hippie elitist. They think they're the special snowflake of the bunch, constantly looking down their noses at every other Zodiac because they're so basic, man. The funny thing is, their entire lives are dedicated to the pursuit of being unique, so that tends to make them especially boring. They don't realize how boring they are until their bodies are glittered with Chinese symbol tattoos and their Hybrids are covered with every stereotypical progressive bumper sticker there is.

In sum, the Aquarius is an asshole; and they like the smell of their farts so much that everything else ends up smelling bad.

Famous Aquarius: Justin Timberlake
worst zodiac signs, celebrity zodiac signs


Pisces (February 20 - March 20)

The Pisces can't take a joke. They're overly sensitive and tend to get triggered all too often. You know the type. They're the ones that heckle at comedy shows when the comedian tells an "offensive" joke. They then go home and write a blog about it.

It's fitting that they're represented by the fish, because they're slimy and cold-blooded. If you know a Pisces, always walk on eggshells because you're going to make them pout with a sarcastic joke or a harmless jab.

Famous Pisces: Carrot Top


Aries (March 21 - April 20)

Hitler was an Aries. And that makes sense.

They like to throw hissy fits when things don't go their way. This tends to make everyone think they have a dominant personality, because their tantrum is especially loud and domineering, but in reality, it's only a tantrum. They usually only need a hit of bitty and maybe some warm milk and a nap.

Also, the plural of Aries is "Arians," which is exceptionally creepy by itself.

Famous Aries: Adolf Hitler


Taurus (April 21 - May 21)

Metrosexual. Materialistic. Money whore. The Taurus can be found at all hours of the day standing in front of a mirror trying to catch slight imperfections. They will then apply a new-to-the-market topical cream to address those blemishes. Once perfect, the Taurus will attend a nightclub and buy a fruity drink and sip, while scoffing at his lessers and their crappy fashion choices.

They are exceptionally boring people.

Famous Taurus: Bono
U2???s Bono holds a special edition U2 iPod during an event on Tuesday, October 26, 2004, in San Jose, California.  Apple today also released in conjunction with Bono and U2 a special-edition black version of the iPod, with a red trackingwheel. A 20-gigabyte version of that iPod, available in mid-November, will sel for $349.  Photographer: Noah Berger/Bloomberg News.


Gemini (May 22 - June 21)

A prototypical Gemini has a dual personality. On one hand he fancies himself a genius voice of his generation, and on the other he's a complete moron. One is these ends up being the truth.

Wily and unpredictable, the Gemini loves to make people around them uncomfortable. They have zero tact, grace, or concept of self-awareness. Cough, Mike Myers. Cough, Taylor Swift.

Famous Gemini: Iggy Azalea


Cancer (June 22 - July 22)

Remember that kid in high school who wallowed in sorrow and liked to cry in the bathroom? Well, he was probably a Cancer. They retreat to their little crab shells when they get their wittle feewings hurt, which happens a lot, and usually explodes in a Columbine-like fashion in time.

Nobody likes them. They're sad.

Famous Cancer: Tom Cruise


Leo (July 23 - August 21)

Leos are disgustingly vain creatures. They demand constant attention, or else they wither away and die. Oftentimes the Leo has a crack team of sycophants just for that purpose, whom he employs to pat his ego and sometimes do his laundry. The Leo thinks he's just being a great friend, because it's a gift to be around him, when in reality his little minions simply hate themselves.

If you call out a Leo's bed hair, they will put you on their shit list for life.
Famous Leo: Barack Obama


Virgo (August 22 - September 23)

The Virgo is one lazy bastard. But not in the traditional sense. While it may seem like they're wasting away on the couch eating Pringles and masturbating for months at a time, they're actually making plans. They're meticulous and patient, and they will spend years if necessary analyzing the pros and cons, weighing the benefits, and perfecting the strategy, of getting off their fucking asses and into a cubicle.

They're also racist.

Famous Virgo: Cameron Diaz


Libra (September 23 - October 22)

Libras are flirtatious to a fault. This often attracts pigs. They will then undergo serious, lengthy relationships with said pigs and never leave leave because they're too indecisive and don't have the sack.

And they're lazy. Even lazier than the Virgo. They love nothing more than sleeping in till 1 PM and spending the day in bed. They may get up to go to the bathroom or fetch the laptop to masturbate, but that's generally it.

Famous Libra: Al Sharpton
Rev. Al Sharpton, center, attends a press conference alongside Rabbi Michael Miller, Executive VP and CEO of the Jewish Community Relations Council of NY, left, and  Cardinal Timothy Dolan, right  following a multi-faith roundtable meeting Wednesday, Aug. 20, 2014, in New York, spawned by the death of Eric Garner, a Staten Island man who was placed in an apparent chokehold by a police officer, The mayor says he believes the meeting can help a city gripped by protests and distrust of the police in some minority neighborhoods. (AP Photo/John Minchillo)


Scorpio (October 24 - November 22)

Butters from "South Park" is the perfect Scorpio. Everyone knows him as the innocent little scamp who wouldn't harm a fly, but on the inside is an alternate ego: Professor Chaos.

Yes, the Scorpio may be a little dweebish, sad, and pathetic on the outside, but they're quite the vindictive sociopath on the inside. You will never know if they're plotting to kill you. Best to avoid them.


Famous Scorpio: Emma Stone


Sagittarius (November 23 - December 22)

Famous Saggitarians: Miley Cyrus, Britney Spears, Nikki Minaj. The one thing in common? Obnoxiousness.

When Miley twerked like a little white idiot, when Britney shaved her head and went batty, and when Nikki wrote "Truffle Butter," these were the choices of a Sagittarius. Reckless and stupid.

The Sagittarius is also fond of saying, "I'm not religious, I'm spiritual." Which is obnoxious in its own right.

Famous Sagittarius: Taylor Swift


Capricorn (December 23 - January 20)

You try to get them to come out of their shell and hang, but they're painfully shy. They usually shuffle away awkwardly and do paperwork. Everyone in the office makes jokes about it.

Finally, after months of persistence, the Capricorn gets the balls to hang out. You plan to get drinks.

You order drinks from the bar and sit. Nothing. Uh oh. The Capricorn ordered fish sticks and tonic water. This is weird. You realize that you should have never invited him out because there was a reason they didn't want to. They're nothings in the personality department.

Famous Capricorn: Betty White

 

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I Don't Know How, But This Girl Is Still Alive

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Aside from making numerous visits to Starbucks and ordering non-fat lattes, 17-year-old girls apparently like to go "railing surfing," which consists of sliding down railings. The object of this activity is to make it to the bottom of the staircase alive, but Annie Schwenker from South Carolina almost expired when she fell over the railing and down below.

"We were at a club in the cruise ship called Dazzles - it's like an oldies club - and we went to the bathroom then decided to go 'railing surfing' back down there and I basically did a backflip and landed on the same railing on the flight of stairs below me..." Annie told Buzzfeed.

"It's actually more embarrassing that I was sober because if I had been drunk it would be much more goofy. I only fell because I was stupid and let go with my hand which you can't do when you're railing surfing."

Hey guys, there are rules to railing surfing.

Via Buzzfeed

 

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Evil High School Softball Catcher Cheap Shots Two Players Trying to Score

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Stay classy, Needville.

According to Click 2 Houston, the girls from Needville and Huffman Hargrave battled it out on the softball diamond last weekend in the Texas 4A high school state championship game, and there were several people on hand to watch it.

And those who were there witnessed one hell of a game, as the girls from Huffman Hargrave won a tight one by the score of 6-4. They also witnessed a mega asshole playing catcher for Needville, as she elbowed not one but two players trying to score even though there wasn't a play at the plate.


Huffman ISD Athletic Director Mike McEachern said his girls handled the cheap shots like pros.

"I think it fired them up to score some more runs, win the game and come out as champions," he said.

The Needville catcher refused to talk to local media members after the game, and after watching her throw those elbows, we don't blame them for not pressing harder to get her statement.

Here's a catcher who wishes it was just an elbow that sent him to the ground: Yankees Catcher Takes Foul Ball to the Junk

 

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Drunk Neighbor Smashes $1,350 Drone Camera

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So, does this guy really have a house, or is that just what he calls his van?

According to Lucky 7 Drones, several staff members planned on filming instructional videos for the DJI Phantom 3 outside their Huntington Beach home last Wednesday.

What they didn't plan on running into was a drunk "neighbor" who apparently cares as much for drone cameras as he does his body image.


Unfortunately for the drunk dude, his swat resulted in a broken camera lens, three busted props and a cracked airframe. And because the drone is valued at $1,350, Huntington Beach police informed him that he could be charged with felony vandalism if he didn't "sober up and pay the necessary restitution."

By the looks of things, Lucky 7 might want to think about just filing an insurance claim, as that guy looks like he's going to have a hell of a time coming up with the cash to pay for a new one.

Apparently, the kangaroo community doesn't care for drones either: Pissed Off Kangaroo Brings Down Drone Camera

 

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The 9 Reasons You Decided To Stop Watching That Porn

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Every man understands the importance of the porn clip that's "just right." Like Goldilocks and her quest for the ideal breakfast in strangers' homes, a man must find the ideal clip that fulfills his goal of..er, completion. What you are about to read are the many porn situations that cause every man to either skip or just stop watching that porn entirely. Let's get this thing going...

1. The loud music killed the vibe.
funny porn
Judging by the thumbnail you saw in the gallery, this video is going to be real good. Unfortunately, the only audio available throughout the video is some instrumental track that wouldn't seem out of place in a jazz club's elevator. This horrible music, of course, takes away from the busty blonde going at herself with a showerhead, and for that, you resent that entire music genre.

2. The scene gets too extreme.

Some days us guys feel the need to venture away from what we'd normally watch and opt for something a little less traditional. The catch with this decision, however, is that some people are into things you wouldn't believe is even legal. And though you typed "Avengers roleplay" into the search bar hoping to find Black Widow on the receiving end of Thor's hammer, you're watching a Russian woman get torn in half by two Hulk-sized fists.

3. The sex is insanely overacted.

It's no secret that the acting in porn is absolutely atrocious, but that's not what I'm getting at here. In this case, I speak of the woman who, instead of sounding like their male costar is proficient at his job as an orgasm provider, sounds more like she's being gutted by a rusty machete.

4. There's just too much dick.

If you're the kind of guy who doesn't get turned on by lesbian scenes because there's no male placeholder to represent your presence, you're not alone. The problem with some of these co-ed scenes, however, is that there are too many close-ups of the guy's wiener, which just so happens to be massive and mighty intimidating.

5. The introduction or back-story is half the video.

You came to watch porn for the action, not for the production company's logo and subsequent website callout. You also didn't intend to watch porn stars do what they do worst - act - for the majority of the clip. Guys are easy, show us a pizza delivery in which the busty housewife can't afford the bill despite the mansion she resides in and instead uses her body for payment. That's all we require. Done.

6. The amateur video is too amateur.
We understand that we've clicked on a link labeled "amateur" but that doesn't mean we want to see a couple going at it in a dimly lit room that looks like it was filmed on a toaster from 30 yards away.

7. There's too much production value.

This is a great example of the Goldilocks metaphor I made in the introduction. If you select a poorly filmed amateur video, you aren't pleased, but on the opposite end of the spectrum, too much production value can deliver a similar effect. Big budgets aren't always better. Look at Michael Bay.

8. There's too much communication during sex.
Some porn stars talk too much. You're not getting paid to talk, you guys; you're getting paid to have rough sex. So communicating while the sex is happening - all of the "Do you like that? Yeah? Do you?" - is just off-putting. Cut the bullshit - neither of you care if the other is enjoying themselves, you just want to collect your check. Likewise, we don't care if you are either, we just want to shoot our seed.

9. The video ends before the money shot.

A lot of videos edit out the money shot in hopes that we'll either subscribe to the porn site or purchase the video. This isn't effective. There's way too much free porn available on the Internet to spend money for aptly named money shot. All that this exclusion does is piss off viewers - we were promised a "full-length" video, and this thing doesn't even have a conclusion.

 

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Today's Funny Photos


The Best Episode Promo Cards From 'The Simpsons'

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Promo cards are a lot like comic book covers in that they are supposed to give you a general idea of what an episode will entail. "The Simpsons" has been doing them since the show premiered on December 17th, 1989 with the pilot episode "Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire." Needless to say, they've only gotten better through the years, with the most effective ones finding a way to encompass the hilarity of a plot line in a single photo. With Season 26 having just wrapped up a few weeks ago, we decided to scour all 574 episodes for the 26 promo cards we consider the best in terms of capturing its respective episode's essence. It was no easy task, but we're certain our picks with leave you flooded with nostalgia for some of the show's greatest moments.

Season 25, Episode 20: "Brick Like Me"
best simpsons promo cards, brick like me

Season 15, Episode 19: "Simple Simpson"
best simpsons promo cards, simple simpson

Season 3, Episode 22: "The Otto Show"
best simpsons promo cards, the otto show

Season 10, Episode 10: "Viva Ned Flanders"
best simpsons promo cards, viva ned flanders

Season 19, Episode 8: "Funeral for a Fiend"
best simpsons promo cards, funeral for a fiend

Season 5, Episode 19: "Sweet Seymour Skinner's Baadasssss Song"
best simpsons promo cards, sweet seymour skinner's baadasssss song

Season 8, Episode 10: "The Springfield Files"
best simpsons promo cards, the springfield files

Season 12, Episode 21: "Simpsons Tall Tales"
best simpsons promo cards, simpsons tall tales

Season 9, Episode 22: "Trash of the Titans"
best simpsons promo cards, trash of the titans

Season 6, Episode 25 & Season 7, Episode 1: "Who Shot Mr. Burns?"
best simpsons promo cards, who shot mr burns

Season 24, Episode 21: "The Saga of Carl"
best simpsons promo cards, the saga of carl

Season 7, Episode 17: "Homer the Smithers"
best simpsons promo cards, homer the smithers

Season 15, Episode 16: "The Wandering Juvie"
best simpsons promo cards, the wandering juvie

Season 6, Episode 4: "Itchy & Scratchy Land"
best simpsons promo cards, itchy & scratchy land

Season 14, Episode 11: "Barting Over"
best simpsons promo cards, barting over

Season 8, Episode 1: "Treehouse of Horror VII"
best simpsons promo cards, treehouse of horror vii

Season 12, Episode 8: "Skinner's Sense of Snow"
best simpsons promo cards, skinner's sense of snow

Season 19, Episode 10: "E. Pluribus Wiggum"
best simpsons promo cards, e pluribus wiggum

Season 11, Episode 22: "Behind the Laughter"
best simpsons promo cards, behind the laughter

Season 9, Episode 13: "The Joy of Sect"
best simpsons promo cards, the joy of sect

Season 11, Episode 6: "Hello Gutter, Hello Fadder"
best simpsons promo cards, hello gutter hello fadder

Season 13, Episode 21: "The Frying Game"
best simpsons promo cards, the frying game

Season 10, Episode 12: "Sunday, Cruddy Sunday"
best simpsons promo cards, sunday cruddy sunday

Season 18, Episode 21: "24 Minutes"
best simpsons promo cards, 24 minutes

Season 10, Episode 2: "The Wizard of Evergreen Terrace"
best simpsons promo cards, the wizard of evergreen terrace

Season 6, Episode 12: "Homer the Great"
best simpsons promo cards, homer the great

 

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The 15 Greatest Ideas Ever

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Every once in a while, someone comes up with an idea that convinces you that society may not be as unintelligent as we sometimes seem. Of course, something occurs quickly afterward that reminds you why we mostly suck, but take a look at the ideas below that may very well be the greatest ideas of all time.

Funny Photos, Best Ideas Ever
Stay indoors in your dark room away from sunlight to also keep your valuables safe.

Funny Photos, Best Ideas Ever
What a selfless act.

Funny Photos, Best Ideas Ever
Beer at a discount price is always a good idea.

Funny Photos, Best Ideas Ever
I wonder what's after "'Stealth Mode.'

Funny Photos, Best Ideas Ever
Cody has more common sense than any 2016 presidential candidates.

Funny Photos, Best Ideas Ever
Who would write a script where a dog dies? A monster, that's who.

Funny Photos, Best Ideas Ever
The phone charger takes the place of where the child would sit because phones are more important.

Funny Photos, Best Ideas Ever
Lying on your kitchen counter until they rot is a better place for your bananas anyway.

Funny Photos, Best Ideas Ever
I have a few choice words other than "the" that I would like to tell the professors who assign 15-page essays.

Funny Photos, Best Ideas Ever
There's an episode where a kid eats Elmo Face that has never aired.

Funny Photos, Best Ideas Ever
Is there a toilet attached to that somehow?

Funny Photos, Best Ideas Ever
Don't have any kids so you can go back to your well deserved sleep.

Funny Photos, Best Ideas Ever
Better than those Charmin commercials with those terrifying bears.

Funny Photos, Best Ideas Ever
Cheaper than therapy.

Funny Photos, Best Ever Ideas
Wish I would have seen this before my dresser went down four flights of stairs.

Via Pleated Jeans

 

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17 Famous People Exposed For Doing Awful Things In Their Past

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Being a celebrity of unimaginable fame is like walking a tight rope. Once you reach it, you have to constantly watch yourself, making one believe fame may not be all it's cracked up to be. All things considered, it might just be better to be anonymous.

The following peeps are examples of the downside of notoriety. While most of them walked away unscathed and never were quite scrutinized to the extent they could've been, you have to think these crimes and misdemeanors weighed heavily on their minds. We present a bunch of awful things (mostly) beloved famous people did.

Dr. Seuss
Living, Celebrities, Celebrity Crimes
Dr. Seuss cheated on his dying wife and married his mistress after she killed herself.

Chuck Berry
Celebrities, Celebrity Crimes
Chuck Berry installed toilet cams in a restaurant he owned.

Karl Malone
Celebrities, Celebrity Crimes
NBA legend Karl Malone impregnated a 13-year-old during college.

Matthew Broderick
Celebrites, Celebrity Crime
Matthew Broderick killed two people in a car accident.

Newt Gingrich
Celebrites, Celebrity Crimes
Newt Gingrich, that asshole, cheated on and divorced two of his ex-wives as they were sick with cancer and multiple sclerosis.

James Lipton
Celebrities, Celebrity Crimes
James Lipton was a pimp when he lived in Paris in the 1950's.

Al Sharpton
Celebrites, Celebrity Crimes
During the Tawana Brawley trial, Al Sharpton accused a New York prosecutor of raping and abducting the black teenager, without reason, and destroyed his career. (He still hasn't owned up to anything.)

Charlie Chaplin
Celebrities, Celebrity Crimes
Charlie Chaplin was a serial pedophile, and on one occasion impregnated a 15-year-old, whom he firmly suggested should get an abortion.

Bono
Celebrities, Celebrity Crimes
Bono's anti-poverty charity, One, only gives 1 percent to charity. Hilarious.

Mother Teresa
Celebrities, Celebrity Crimes
Researchers agree with Christopher Hitchens's assertion that Mother Teresa was "...not a friend of the poor. She was a friend of poverty. She said that suffering was a gift from God..." Essentially, Mother Teresa was a fraud.

Hillary Clinton
Celebrities, Celebrity Crimes
Hillary Clinton once called one of Bill Clinton's aides a "f*cking Jew bastard."

Gandhi
Celebrities, Celebrity Crimes
By today's standards, Gandhi was a gigantic, Klan-level racist. Especially against "kaffirs."

Eddie Murphy
Celebrities, Celebrity Crimes
Eddie Murphy knocked up Scary Spice and denied being the father. He wanted nothing to do with the child until only recently.

Thomas Edison
Celebrities, Celebrity Crimes
Thomas Edison used to torture cats, dogs, horses, and elephants in front of an audience to advance knowledge of electricity.

Lena Dunham
Celebrities, Celebrity Crimes
Lena Dunham got a little too frisky with her younger 6-year-old sister. A lot.

Bill Cosby
Celebrities, Celebrity Crimes
Bill Cosby, well, we all know what's happening here.

Tom Hanks
Celebrities, Celebrity Crime
Tom Hanks once rolled through a red light at an intersection when no cars were around. Probably.

 

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Husky's Facial Expression Reveals Exact Moment of Owner's Awful Betrayal

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Dogs only ask of you that you feed them, walk them and be kind to them, but don't you ever pretend to throw a ball for them to run after and then don't. They will never forgive or forget, as made evident by the pissed off dog below.

Funny Photos, Dog Is Betrayed During Fetch

A look of complete disgust.

Via Tumblr

 

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Man Arrested After Trying To Have Sex With Horse...For A Third Time

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Talk about being persistent. A Texas man, who I'm guessing just left a seminar about overcoming obstacles and reaching your goals, was arrested after trying to beat the odds and once again shack up with a horse.

News, Man Caught Trying To Have Sex With Horse

Cirilo Castillo was caught with a broken leg in a barn by the barn's owner. A leg he said he injured after being struck by a car, and then he crawled to the barn for shelter, when in reality, Castillo might have suffered the injury while trying to get some horse action. Hey, when the lady says no, that means no.

This is not Castillo's first rodeo, as he had been arrested twice before for sexual incidents with horses, including an incident where he tied up a horse and performed sexual acts on it, receiving five years probation for that insane act.

The barn's owner had previously told Castillo to stay away from her barn after Castillo had been arrested, and when the owner realized that Castillo sought the same animal, cameras were added to catch him in the act.

"We have a hell of a surveillance tape. It is not going to go to, America's Funniest Videos, that is for sure," Sheriff Trevino told the Houston Chronicle.

Castillo could face up to 180 days in jail.

I can't even imagine how much he enjoys watching American Pharoah.

Via Daily Mail

 

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The Weekly Mandatory Meme Contest Winners: Inquisitive Bear Edition

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Yesterday we asked you to use our brand new meme generator to create some hilarious memes to unleash on the Internet. There were a lot of entries, but we managed to narrow it down to 15 winners. Congratulations to the winners below. You truly understand what the Internet is all about. And to those of you that lost...oh well, there's always next week's contest!

Speaking of which, if you'd like to get a head start, you can find next week's meme right here.


Submitted by: Philip



Submitted by: Dice



Submitted by: Mac


weekly meme, funny meme, bear meme
Submitted by: Tarrah


Submitted by: Jasen



Submitted by: Evan



Submitted by: Bishop's Silhouette



Submitted by: J. Ward



Submitted by: Bishop's Silhouette

 

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Green-Haired Unibrow Witness Gives Most Fabulous Local News Interview Ever

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"The police car just twist around like a tornado, girl!" That was just one of the very accurate, very detailed descriptions from witness Ruby Evans; the fabulous, green-haired onlooker who just wanted to get himself a "piece of burger," from the King when he saw a patrol car ram into a pole.

And yet, through all the chaos, Ruby still delivered classic line after line. Well done, Ruby Evans.

Via College Humor

 

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This Week's Funniest GIFs

This Guy Thought It Would Be A Smart Idea To Put Fire Ants In His Underwear

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Perhaps this was a super late audition to be a cast member on "Jackass" or a pretty typical Asian game show, but for the life of me I cannot come up with a good reason as to why someone would want fire ants to go nuts on their nuts. I also don't think this guy knew he could sing so high.

Via Barstool Sports

 

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If 'Jurassic Park' Took Place on Facebook

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With the big release of "Jurassic World" tomorrow, you might find yourself needing a little refresher on the events of the film that started it all over 20 years ago. Don't worry, because we've got you covered. We put together this little recap in format that everyone these days can understand.

Here's what the events of "Jurassic Park" would look like if they took place entirely on Facebook.

Jurassic Park, Jurassic World, Jurassic Park funnyDesign by Kelsey Guiette

 

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PornHub is Trying to Raise Enough Money to Film a Porn in Space

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Let's be honest: Most guys watching skin flicks aren't going to care if you just use a green screen to fake it like everybody else. But hey, shoot for the moon, guys.

According to Playboy, PornHub has created an IndieGoGo campaign in hopes of raising $3.4 million over the next two months so they can create the first ever porn movie filmed in outer space.

Well, unless Buzz Aldrin has an amateur piece stashed away in a safe somewhere.

pornhub is raising money for porno in space
PorHub is teaming up with Digital Playground to bring you Eva Lovia and Johnny Sins bumping uglies in "Sexploration." But getting to space is going to be "hard," so the PornHub space team needs your help.

More specifically, they need your cash.

Donations start at one dollar, but there are perks - some more exciting than others - if you can find it in your heart to contribute a little more. For example, if you donate $10 to the cause, PornHub will not only give you a "Certificate of Endorsement," but they'll also let you watch the finished product 24 hours before everybody else.

But if you unload $150,000, PornHub will set you up with the Uranus package. That means you'll score one of the two spacesuits worn by their "sextronauts" as well as their underwear.

And that's just gross.

They would probably raise $3 million in one week if she was the star: Mia Khalifa is the New Most Popular Girl on PornHub

 

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British Woman Defecates In Store Then Continues Shopping

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There are many reasons to wash your produce items before consuming them, but this one should be near the top of the list.

According to Mirror, an English woman believed to be in her mid-30s recently took a store's name a tad too literally when she walked into the B&M Bargains in Southport and, well, dropped a BM, covered it with baby clothes and then continued shopping.


Store workers were reportedly "disgusted" when they found almost $62 worth of baby clothing on the ground last month and then realized it was covering up a fresh poop. They initially thought a dog or some other animal was the guilty party, but security guards reviewed surveillance footage and broke the news that it was the product of a human being.

B&M Bargains declined to comment on the story, but several workers took to social media and called the woman "disgusting" and "filthy."

As a result, you have to think the next time somebody calls for a cleanup in aisle five, those workers will rush to do anything else.

It's a lot funnier when an owl is doing the pooping: Watch This A**hole Owl Poop on Another Owl

 

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