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Awkward Fans With Celebrities

July 2, 2015, 2:50 am
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If you've ever fantasied how meeting your favorite celebrity would go, chances are that it wouldn't go like that at all, and would most likely involve you doing something awkward, something that will have you cringing at the thought for years to come. Here are the most awkward fans with celebrities.

Funny, Awkward Celebrity Encounters, Awkward Fans

Funny, Awkward Celebrity Encounters, Awkward Fans

Funny, Awkward Celebrity Encounters, Awkward Fans

Funny, Awkward Celebrity Encounters, Awkward Fans

Funny, Awkward Celebrity Encounters, Awkward Fans

Funny, Awkward Celebrity Encounters, Awkward Fans

Funny, Awkward Celebrity Encounters, Awkward Fans

Funny, Awkward Celebrity Encounters, Awkward Fans

Funny, Awkward Celebrity Encounters, Awkward Fans

Funny, Awkward Celebrity Encounters, Awkward Fans

Funny, Awkward Celebrity Encounters, Awkward Fans

Funny, Awkward Celebrity Encounters, Awkward Fans

Funny, Awkward Celebrity Encounters, Awkward Fans

Funny, Awkward Celebrity Encounters, Awkward Fans

Funny, Awkward Celebrity Encounters, Awkward Fans

Funny, Awkward Celebrity Encounters, Awkward Fans

Funny, Awkward Celebrity Encounters, Awkward Fans

Via The Chive

 

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The Weekly Mandatory Meme Contest Winners: Squirrel Fry Thief

July 2, 2015, 2:50 am
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Yesterday we asked you to use our meme generator to create some hilarious memes to unleash on the Internet. There were a lot of entries, but we managed to narrow it down to these fine and deserving winners. Congratulations, you truly understand what the Internet is all about. And to those of you that lost...oh well, there's always next week's contest!

Speaking of which, get a head start and create a new meme for next week's contest right here.

meme contest winner
Submitted by: Doug


Submitted by: Bishop's silhouette


Submitted by: April


Submitted by: Mike H


Submitted by: Tony


Submitted by: Enio


Submitted by: Cameryn


Submitted by: Philip



 

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People Are Intentionally Sunburning Designs Into Their Skin

July 2, 2015, 3:13 am
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Summer is here, and with that, some people are rushing to the beach in order to participate in the latest new trend: sunburning designs into their skin.

News, #sunburntart

The hashtag #sunburntart has become a thing now, and some people are actually participating. In order to do this, and please don't, people apply sunscreen to certain areas, and then just let the unprotected skin burn in order to create the design of their choice. Because if you're going to get skin cancer, at least do it in style.

News, #sunburntart

sunburn art
sunburn art
sunburn art
sunburn art

Of course experts and dermatologists everywhere are warning people of this stupid new trend.

"It's really obvious that sunburn does two things to you: it gives you lines and freckles and wrinkles and it also causes skin cancer especially melanoma," Dr Barney Kenet told ABC News.

"Then there's the motivation for getting a good burn. The practice is tempting them to burn even worse."

News, #sunburntart

Another dermatologist, Dr. Alster, also chimed in stating "A sunburn is worse than a tan, but any time you're in contact with ultraviolet light, you're damaging your skin."

These are facts that everyone knows, or at least should know, so it's scary to see adults participating in this when there are thousands of people suffering from long term consequences because of the sun.

Drown yourself in self-tanning products if you want some color on your skin instead. Check out some more of the #sunburntart designs here

Via Metro

 

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This Week's 20 Funniest Tweets

July 2, 2015, 3:50 am
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Another week, another batch of the most hilarious tweets compiled just for you. Be sure to follow these guys and gals, and check back here every week for more jokes you can tell your friends and pretend you came up with them yourself. They'll think you're hilarious, but inside you'll be cold and dead.

Follow @robfee on Twitter.


More very funny tweets can be found right here.

 

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This Contortionist's Skills Will Make Your Bones Hurt

July 2, 2015, 3:50 am
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Remember that time you tried to touch your toes while keeping your knees locked in and suffered a serious injury? Well, the woman below takes being flexible to another level as she pretty much does everything with her feet or upside down.

Contortionist Shocks People

29-year-old Leilani Franco, from London, has been fascinating (and terrifying) people with her contortions for a while now, already holding various Guinness book records.

"People are always amazed and shocked and disgusted about what I do," Leilani states. "It's really funny to see their reactions, especially when I just do things randomly in public like bending. It's funny to see how they react to it."

Leilani became inspired to bend and freak people out after seeing a Cirque du Solei performance more than ten years ago. Although Leilani doesn't stick to a strict regiment to maintain her flexibility as she still eats and does what she wants to.

"My Russian coaches tell me, 'You have to diet, you have to not drink alcohol, you cannot smoke' - but I really like eating butter, I really like smoking, drinking and eating fatty foods."

Contortionist Shocks People

Contortionist Shocks People

Contortionist Shocks People

Contortionist Shocks People

And because we are all thinking it, yes, I'm sure it's a Cirque du Solei show in the bedroom with her every night.

Check out some more of Leilani's moves below.



Via NY Post

 

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The Funniest GIFs of the Week

July 2, 2015, 5:50 am
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Watch This Sheep Urinate on a BBC Reporter

July 2, 2015, 5:56 am
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Agriculture and Environment Correspondent Conor Macauley has covered hundreds of stories for BBC News NI over his career.

He has now also been covered in sheep piss.

Macauley was recently doing a "heart-wrenching" story on live TV about Button the Sheep, a three-month-old ewe who was abandoned by her mother but then adopted by a couple in the Northern Ireland town of Moira. In an effort to emotionally engage viewers even more, Macauley decided to kneel behind Button as he brought the piece to a close.

And that's when the magic happened.


To make matters worse, the crew on set started laughing at Macauley as he was getting peed on, and since it was live TV, everybody watching at home saw the entire humiliating experience.

Then again, who knows? Maybe getting urinated on by a sheep is considered good luck in Northern Ireland.

Odds are Michael Phelps liked what he just saw: Plus-Sized Dominatrix Says Michael Phelps Paid Her to Urinate on Him

 

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A Whole Bunch of Funny Bikini Fails

July 2, 2015, 6:05 am
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Summer is in full swing, and with Independence Day this weekend, you can bet your sweet bippy that you'll be seeing a lot of festive bikinis at the beaches, pools and barbecues across America. That is why this is the best time to remind everyone that bikinis aren't for everyone, and wearing a bikini requires great responsibility. Here are the best illustrations of those facts.

bikini fail, bikini malfunction
I'm pretty sure something's not right here.


bikini fail, bikini malfunction
And I'm certain that something is not right here.


bikini fail, bikini malfunction
Doing some bikini modeling? Don't forget about the tide.


bikini fail, bikini malfunction
Summer in Canada.


bikini fail, bikini malfunction
A Katy Perry water slide fail is a win for the rest of us.


bikini fail, bikini malfunction
Same goes for a Maria Fowler bikini malfunction.


bikini fail, bikini malfunction
Running in a bikini is not for amateurs.


bikini fail, bikini malfunction
This was the best thing to come from the Ice Bucket Challenge (well, other than millions raised for charity, of course).


bikini fail, bikini malfunction
Luisa Zissman is maybe a little too excited about what she's got going on down there.


bikini fail, bikini malfunction
This little girl has had enough of your bullshit bikini pics.


bikini fail, bikini malfunction
But this dog is even more fed up.


bikini fail, bikini malfunction
Lookin' good, Victoria Silvstedt *pans to the right* Oh my god!


bikini fail, bikini malfunction
How many bikini models does it take to count to seven?


bikini fail, bikini malfunction
Good dog.


bikini fail, bikini malfunction
Great dog.


bikini fail, bikini malfunction
Nailed it.

 

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Dealer Flops Two Queen of Clubs in High Stakes Poker Game

July 2, 2015, 6:36 am
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OK, who gave the dealer a deck of Pinochle cards?

In what could possibly be the craziest flop in the history of poker, a dealer flopped an ace of spades and...wait for it...two queen of clubs in a recent high stakes cash game of Texas hold 'em.

Even crazier? None of the players noticed.


So, just for the record: When Vegas cheats and gives their dealers shoddy decks of cards, everybody just gets their money back, and we're told to act as if the hand never happened. But if we get caught cheating in Vegas, they'll take us into a back room and break our fingers with a hammer.

OK, got it.

h/t Barstool Sports

At least everybody at the table got their money back. The same can't be said for this poor bastard: This Is Probably the Worst Poker Loss of All Time

 

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Have the Best Fourth of July Ever With Model Lindsey Pelas

July 2, 2015, 7:07 am
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This is the Only Way to Watch 'Jaws'

July 2, 2015, 8:14 am
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jaws swim in movie theater, watching jaws on a lake
There aren't too many drive-in movie theaters around anymore, but I imagine there even fewer swim-in movie theaters. However, if you are lucky enough to find one, "Jaws" is definitely the film you should be watching. What could possibly go wrong?

h/t Reddit

 

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This Two Word Obituary Is The Most Accurate, and Most Amusing, Obit You Will Ever Read

July 2, 2015, 9:05 am
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This is the obituary for former North Dakota resident Douglas Legler. It appeared in The Forum of Fargo-Moorhead newspaper and it is the most accurate, but also hilarious, obituary I have ever seen. RIP, Doug.

doug died funny obituary

Via Twitter

 

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When You See Your Ex in the Crowd

July 2, 2015, 3:09 pm
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Alexandra Lillian is a Busty Babe by Many Names

July 5, 2015, 4:35 pm
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Today's Funny Photos

July 6, 2015, 12:27 am
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10 TV Spin-Offs That Were Better Than The Original Series

July 6, 2015, 1:50 am
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better spin-offs, the simpsons
Everyone knows that "The Simpsons" is the most successful and arguably best spin-off of all time, having been a series of shorts on "The Tracey Ullman Show" prior to getting its own pilot in 1989. But surely there have been many TV series both prior to and since that have far exceeded their predecessors. As it turns out, there are actually several, and we've picked our 10 favorites just for you. Give a shout out to some of yours that we may have missed in the comments below.

"Beavis and Butt-Head" from "Liquid Television"
better spin-offs, beavis and butt-head
We threw "The Simpsons" out early because it was pretty much the obvious choice when it comes to the subject matter. Therefore, it served as the perfect example. Surprisingly, it's not the only famous cartoon to have been born of a previous series. Mike Judge's own "Beavis and Butt-Head" was also originally a series of shorts run on the MTV animation showcase series "Liquid Television" which ran for a total of three seasons. During that time, the series also gave birth to shows such as "Aeon Flux" and "Celebrity Deathmatch" (although the latter was by association, as it was originally aired on the "Liquid Television" successor series "Cartoon Sushi").

"The Flash" from "Arrow"
better spin-offs, the flash arrow
When it comes to two shows that are both so fresh, it's difficult to determine which is truly "better" than the other. However, concerning these two specifically, it's a little easier to make such a call because they are both so closely related. And by that, we mean the two series literally cross over with each other when the need arises. That said, the creative direction of "The Flash" has the added benefit of learning from its predecessor's mistakes while also doing a much better job of keeping itself light and heavily comic book inspired in tone.

"Family Matters" from "Perfect Strangers"
better spin-offs, family matters perfect strangers
Harriette Winslow of "Family Matters" fame served as the elevator operator at The Chicago Chronicle where Balki and Larry worked on "Perfect Strangers." In time, we were also introduced to her husband Carl, and from there the two gained enough popularity to eventually be spun off into their own series revolving around a middle class family living in Chicago. Had the addition of next door neighbor Steve Urkel to "Family Matters" not worked out as well as it did, the series likely wouldn't have survived. Fortunately, that character took the show from mediocre spin-off status to one that outshined its ancestor by leaps and bounds.

"The Colbert Report" from "The Daily Show"
better spin-offs, the colbert report the daily show
Whose snark do you prefer more? That's essentially the question we had to ask ourselves when it came to this very close decision. While picking a winner here was about as easy as the average man trying to write political satire, ultimately it was the everyman appeal of Mr. Colbert that won this one over. After all, he's the one who has now been promoted to David Letterman's old position as king of late night television. Surely there's a reason for that, even if it was won by the skin of its teeth.

"Happy Days" from "Love, American Style"
better spin-offs, happy days love american style
"Happy Days," at least in this particular instance, is as close to the live-action equivalent of "The Simpsons" or "Beavis and Butt-Head" as it gets. Born of an anthology series with stories centering on romance with a comedic spin, one such story titled "Love and the Television Set" starred up-and-coming actor Ron Howard as a little character by the name of Richie Cunningham. The segment served as the backdoor pilot for "Happy Days," and we all know what happened from there. Ayyy!

"NCIS" from "JAG"
better spin-offs, ncis jag
Speaking of backdoor pilots, "NCIS" was born in much the same way "Happy Days" was, besides not coming from an anthology series. Instead, it arose from two Season 8 "JAG" episodes which introduced us to Mark Harmon's Gibbs character and served as a launching point to one of the CBS network's most successful crime procedurals. Long story short, "NCIS" was born and your grandparents had a new and better show to watch once "JAG" came to a close two seasons later. Cue those hilarious head slap antics.

"Saved by the Bell" from "Good Morning, Miss Bliss"
better spin-offs, saved by the bell good morning miss bliss
Anyone familiar with the story of 1980s series "Valerie" will certainly be able to understand the origins of "Saved by the Bell" a little better. Essentially, it was born of an unsuccessful parent series by the name of "Good Morning, Miss Bliss." When that series was cancelled, the network that owned it retooled it, changed locations and relaunched without the original title character. In this case, it resulted in near instant success. While the circumstances surrounding this revamp weren't nearly as dark as those of "Valerie," you wouldn't know it from some of the fan theories people have come up with on the subject.

"Angel" from "Buffy the Vampire Slayer"
better spin-offs, angel buffy the vampire slayer
"Buffy the Vampire Slayer" and "Angel" are about as neck and neck (unintentional vampire pun) as they come in terms of quality. However, a concept like Valley girl turned badass occult hunter is a little harder to swallow than vampire detective, so we felt that in terms of not polarizing an audience, "Angel" certainly pulls out ahead. Plus, like most of the other series on our list so far, it possessed the added perk of knowing which areas to shy away from and which to embrace in terms of what does and doesn't work based on its predecessor's occasional missteps.

"Tim & Eric Awesome Show, Great Job!" from "Tom Goes to the Mayor"
better spin-offs, tim & eric awesome show great job tom goes to the mayor
Polarizing doesn't even begin to describe the comedy styling of Tim Heidecker and Eric Wareheim, and nothing is more telling of that than their first series "Tom Goes to the Mayor." While "Tim & Eric Awesome Show, Great Job!" may not technically be a "spin-off" by traditional standards, many concepts and characters from their original series have shown up there, including Channel 5 married news team Jan and Wayne Skylar. Without them, we would have never been graced with brilliant skits such as this, which in turn would never have come to pass without the existence of "Tom Goes to the Mayor."

"Better Call Saul" from "Breaking Bad"
better spin-offs, better call saul breaking bad
It's always fun to end on a controversial decision, and it doesn't get much more disputable than this. We would completely understand if no one agreed with us at this point that "Better Call Saul" is a better show than "Breaking Bad." After all, it has only been on the air for one season while "Breaking Bad" was considered one of the greatest series to ever grace television. Our stance is that this show had plenty of opportunity to not exist, but creator Vince Gilligan decided to give it the go ahead. With everything he learned on "Breaking Bad," would he really risk tarnishing the show's reputation on a venture he didn't believe could at minimum live up to its potential? We think not. "Better Call Aaron Paul," on the other hand...

 

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The 12 Most Ridiculous Drug Smuggling Tactics Ever

July 6, 2015, 1:50 am
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Are you in need of some quick cash? If so, don't consider drug smuggling. You will get caught. The following stories illustrate that even the most ingenious methods have severe flaws. Don't be like those idiots on "Locked Up Abroad."

Cocaine in Avocados
Crime, Drug Smuggling Stories
Dutch officials found $10 million of cocaine hidden inside avocados in 1998. They were bound for Manchester, England from Peru with a layover in Amsterdam. Two Cheshire middlemen were arrested after officials were tipped off. All things considered, avocados are delicious, and I think I will now apply as an the Peruvian cartel's Avocado Eating Specialist.

The Oldest Smuggler on Earth
Crime, Drug Smuggling Stories
In 2009, Madrid police arrested a 92-year-old woman for smuggling coke. In a wheelchair. She flew from Brazil to Spain with 9.5 pounds of narcotics strapped to her body. Even though the cocaine was estimated at $39,000, authorities said due to her advanced age it was unlikely she would face any prison time.

Heroin Puppies
Crime, Drug Smuggling Stoies
Andrew Lopez Elorza, a Venezuelan veterinarian living in Spain, was arrested in 2013 for smuggling heroin inside puppies. The 33-year-old surgically implanted 6.6 pounds of heroin inside three puppies and sewed them up.

Colombian police discovered the pups in 2005 and the asshole fled the scene, only to be captured eight years later in Spain. He was released and his extradition is currently being considered. One can only hope he's extradited straight to hell.

Sculptures of Meth
Crime, Drug Smuggling Stories
In 2011, a man was arrested trying to smuggle 33.6 pounds of meth disguised as art. Safi Zadeh Hossein had a 22-pound yellow rose and an 11-pound framed came, both estimated at $1.6 million. Druggie dogs smelled crime and authorities nabbed him. Lovely sculptures I might add

Narco-Submarines
Crime, Drug Smuggling Stories
Colombian military seized a 100-foot submarine capable of transporting eight tons of drugs, the equivalent of five Hydrid cars. They found it in the jungle of Timbiqui in southwestern Colombia on its way to the Pacific coast of Mexico.

Some specs:

16.5 foot periscope
Air conditioner
Two diesel engines
Carries four to six people
Built to travel 30 feet under ocean waters
One year earlier in July 2010 Ecuadorian authorities nabbed a similar model.

A Ramp to America
Living, Crime, Drug Smuggling Stories
A Jeep Cherokee attempt to scale a border fence just west of the Arizona-California border in October 2012. Agents found the vehicle stuck on top of the fence, and when they moved in, the smugglers fled and left the vehicle. It was empty however, and they said the smugglers likely removed bales of marijuana when it got stuck.

Classic ba-dum-tss comedy if you ask me.

Coke in Boobs
Crime, Drug Smuggling Stories
Colombia produces 300 tons of cocaine each year. As we've all seen on "Locked Up Abroad," narcotraffickers tend to get creative. Our very own Tommy Gimler reported on June 22 the story of a Honduran woman named Paolo Deyanira Sabillon attempting to smuggle 3.3 pounds of liquid cocaine to Spain.

She aroused - ahem - suspicion in the security line because she was nervous. The 22-year-old was detained and is currently undergoing treatment to cure a breast infection. This isn't the first and surely won't be the last time cocaine is smuggled in boobs.

Drug Tunnels of Tijuana
Crime, Drug Smuggling Stories
There have been more than 125 drug tunnels discovered in San Diego since the '90s. One in particular was found in November 2013, linking a TJ warehouse to an industrial area in south San Diego.

It was 600 yards long.

They found 17,000 pounds of marijuana and 327 pounds of cocaine. Three men were arrested in a raid, and they were believed to be part of the Sinaloa drug cartel. "The tunnels take hundreds of thousands of man hours and millions of dollars to complete," William Sherman of the DEA said.

Specs:

Electricity
Ventilation
A rail system
Hydraulic doors
35 feet underground'

Ultralight Aircrafts
Crime, Drug Smuggling Stories
"Essentially it's a lawn mower with wings."

One ultralight crashed into an oak tree in the Laguna Mountains and they discovered 250 pounds of marijuana. Single footprints and gear were nearby. Since 2008, there have been more than 200 incidents of these gliders dropping packages in areas of San Diego County.

In 2010 alone there were 228 aircraft breaches along the border, according to government statistics.

Weed 'n' Wheelchairs
Crime, Drug Smuggling Stories
A 19-year-old attempted to cross the border in a wheelchair. At the busiest border crossing in the world (Tijuana-San Ysidro), cops noticed his nerves. They released the hounds and found five pounds of weed strapped to his wheelchair.

Going Bananas
Crime, Drug Smuggling Stories
OK, not inside bananas. In banana boxes. Police in Berlin found $16.8 million worth of cocaine last May in several German supermarkets. "Apparently there was a logistical mistake somewhere along the line," politics spokesman Stefan Redlich said. The 851 pounds of coke ended up there by accident

Champagne Wishes and Cocaine Dreams
Crime, Drug Smuggling Stories
Someday you will find me caught beneath the landslide,
In a cocaine supernova in the sky.
Where were you while we were getting high?

In 1997 a drug smuggler famously stuffed coke into a wine bottle. He failed.

 

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The Best Tweets On Crap Taxidermy

July 6, 2015, 1:50 am
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Taxidermy is already a strange hobby to begin with, as the majority of people prefer their animals to be alive, but the Crap Taxidermy Twitter has pushed the strangeness even farther by displaying their stuffed friends in a way that makes it even more bizarre to see, and yet hilarious. Here are the best tweets on Crap Taxidermy.

 

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Guy Yells "F**K That Alligator," Immediately Gets Eaten By Alligator

July 6, 2015, 2:27 am
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Alligators are never to be messed up with, and one man paid the price after ignoring warning signs of alligators in the water.

News, Man Killed By Alligator, Man Mocks Alligator And Alligator Wins

Tommie Woodward, a 28-year-old Texas man, was killed after mocking signs that warned alligators were in the water. Tommie yelled "F**K that alligator," jumped in the lake, and was immediately mauled to death by the animal. A woman also accompanied Tommie into the water, but she was not harmed.

There are plenty of signs around the marina after alligators were spotted; signs that warn against getting close to the water or swimming in it.

News, Man Gets Eaten By Alligator, Man Mocks Alligator

Jusice of the Peace Rodney Price stated "He removed his shirt, removed his billfold ... someone shouted a warning and he said 'blank the alligators' and jumped in to the water and almost immediately yelled for help."

Let this be a lesson to everyone out there: if a sign tells you not to do something, it is usually for your safety, so it's best to listen to that sign that someone went out of their way to hang.

Tommie is the first man killed by an alligator in Texas in almost 180 years.

Check out the video below for more reactions of Tommie's fate:



Via Unilad

 

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Hairless Animals Will Haunt Your Dreams

July 6, 2015, 2:31 am
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The majority of men are afraid to lose their hair because it's a fact they will turn into hideous monsters who will lose all their friends. The same can be said for animals, because once you take the clippers to them and strip them of their hair, they become the most terrifying thing in existence. The animals below are straight out of a horror film.

Funny, Hairless Animals

Funny, Hairless Animals

Funny, Hairless Animals

Funny, Hairless Animals

Funny, Hairless Animals

Funny, Hairless Animals

Funny, Hairless Animals

Funny, Hairless Animals

Funny, Hairless Animals

Funny, Hairless Animals

Via I Raff I Ruse

 

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