50 Cent Is Now Bankrupt

July 13, 2015, 6:59 am

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The rapper who has proudly called himself 50 Cent for years may only have that amount of money left over as he has filed for bankruptcy.



The "In Da Club" rapper filed for chapter 11 bankruptcy protection on Monday, reporting assets and debts in the range of $10 million to $50 million. This decision comes just a few days after 50 Cent was ordered to pay a woman $5 million over a sex tape lawsuit.

Let's all take a moment to remember 50 Cent and his money. Feel free to quietly sing Sarah McLachlan's "I Will Remember You" in your head as you scroll.











Via Barstool Sports

 

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The 12 Most Awesome Things To Come From Comic-Con 2015

July 13, 2015, 8:45 am

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Every year they build it, and every year they come. The nerds of American culture unwedge themselves from their recliners, don their best "Star Wars" frock and head to San Diego for the city's annual Comic-Con, a festival that celebrates the latest in superhero-related entertainment, television and other relevant nerdery. There were a number of awesome things to come out of Comic-Con 2015, and we're gonna give 'em to ya.

Bill Murray Leads Off

Making his Comic-Con debut, the flower pattern do-rag-wearing Murray had his moments during a 48-minute panel, wherein he discussed his new roadie movie, "Rock the Kasbah," set for 2016, his love for Miley Cyrus and of course and the lady reboot of "Ghostbusters." References went as far as having "the coolest car in Manhattan" while saving New York. Now that's how you lead off strong at Comic-Con, Bill!


Bryan Cranston Lays Some Poor Kid Out

In one of the best mic drops in the history of man, Bryan Cranston, the actor formerly known as Walter White, took down Albuquerque's biggest nerd with not only a diss on the poor kid's mother, but then topping it off with a drop of the microphone after winning the crowd over. There have been no reports as to whether the young lad is currently celebrating being part of the funniest bit of this year's Comic-Con, or if he has since moved on from this world after getting owned.


"Star Wars" Dreams Do Come True

Fans were hoping to get some extra action from December's "Star Wars VII: The Force Awakens," and they did, but they got a hell of a lot more when Harrison Ford showed up. In his first public appearance since his recent plane crash, Ford was joined by some of the original cast, including Carrie Fisher and Mark Hamill, just before fans got a look at new faces of the film and were joined together in a mosh pit of light sabers and George Lucas lovin' for behind-the-scenes footage from this winter's biggest blockbuster sequel. Life will not get any better for these people.


Joker Steals the Show

The "Suicide Squad" panel got a shot of adrenaline when director David Ayer forewent sharing teasers and instead dropped the full first trailer for his anti-hero film. As far as Comic-Con bootlegs go, this was the mother of all of them. Fans got a first good, hard, sexy look at Harley Quinn (Margot Robbie), as well as Will Smith's Deadshot and boss lady, Amanda Waller, played by Viola Davis. But all took a backseat to Jared Leto's Joker, who made his psychotic appearance towards the end of the preview. Leto didn't even have to make an appearance to steal Comic-Con. Impressive.


"Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice" Trailer Shows All

A second look at Zac Snyder's Superman sequel featured a nearly four-minute trailer, including a more in-depth look at our two head-butting heroes, along with first glimpses of Wonder Woman (Gal Gadot), a character who had yet to hit the high-def big screen, and the second most anticipated villain of Comic-Con, Lex Luthor, played by the smarmy, yet pleasantly maniacal Jesse Eisenberg.


Jennifer Lawrence Picks Her Nose

Fans of the upcoming "Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part Two" and "X-Men: Apocolypse" got more than they bargained for this year when Jennifer Lawrence went from sexy starlet to booger friendly creep, wiping her nose with the cloth of the panel table. She's all about the class. First Class. X-Men. Hugh Jackman. Fin.


"The Walking Dead" Trailer(s)

Rick! The gang is back for a sixth season, and though it's not set to premiere until October, the trailer for the AMC zombie drama was long, addressing some big questions and plotting out a lot of the storyline we should expect to see. Rick and his crew joined the inexperienced survivors of Alexandria in late season five, just before Rick took up his usual mantle as community leader. This season seems to focus around inner conflict involving Rick's leadership and the opposing addition of his longtime survivalist friend, Morgan Jones, whose return was the last scene from season five. Looks like Rick's head might be getting a little too big for that sheriff's hat. Also, as a bonus, we got a full trailer for the prequel series, "Fear the Walking Dead."


"Deadpool" Reel

Another heavily sought-after trailer leak belonged to early 2016's "Deadpool" reboot. Ryan Reynolds, set to play Wade Wilson/Deadpool, came out at the SDCC to share the footage, albeit in less than impressive quality. Fans were excited to at least see something from the February film, but anything impressive will have a few weeks to see the light of mobile and computer screens.


"Arrow" & "The Flash" Are Back

After a heavy third season on "Arrow" in which we couldn't picture how they could possibly return to the same old ways, or even continue at all, The CW has promised a little more Oliver Queen in the upcoming fourth season. Arrow has been given a new suit of armor, which was displayed at this year's panel. This only adds to the hype after the show's lead, Stephen Amell, announced he'd be playing Casey Jones in the "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" sequel, set for next year. In addition, "The Flash" crossover has delivered much promise, and fans are excited for another season after a successful debut with Grant Gustin rocking the red suit.


Not One Joker, But Two, And Superhero Group Selfies

Can we coin the term "groupies," the group selfie? Done. Fans got really amped up when Stan Lee brought all of his superheroes together onstage for a quick superhero groupie. But the super villain saga continued when the "Gotham" panel was stolen by "Shameless" actor Cameron Monaghan, who more than confirmed he would be playing The Joker in upcoming episodes of "Gotham." That's two Jokers in one Comic-Con. If only Heath were still around, it would have been an amazing trifecta.


"Warcraft" Movie

Gamers just found a new reason to leave the house besides Comic-Con. The long-awaited movie adaptation to their favorite interactive game is finally coming to fruition, and with less than a year until its release, director Duncan Jones showed up at SDCC once more, only this time with footage from the film. With impressive imagery of the characters and orcs, many were just as excited as they were somewhat confused by what was going on in the footage. The official trailer, set for November, will hopefully clear up some of that confusion. But just look at those sexy orcs!


And of Course, Amazing Cosplay

Oh, who are we kidding? There were a shitload of Jokers at Comic-Con this year! Here's a look at some of our favorite Cosplay costumes at this years SDCC. First prize goes to the guy below who walked more than 600 miles in a Stormtrooper costume to Comic-Con in honor of his late wife. Is that for real? Big ups, man. That sure beats the hell out of anything Courtney Stodden did.

 

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You May Want To Steer Clear Of Crossing Your Legs While Wearing These Sandals

July 13, 2015, 9:18 am

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It's hard to make sandals cool, damn near impossible, really, but ASOS sure did try their best even if crossing your legs while wearing their sandals spell out a word you probably don't want anywhere on your person.

Now, hang on a second, @ASOS. So, if I have my legs crossed, then... oh. pic.twitter.com/r39XK5vkKD

- Ferdinand Kingsley (@ferdosnandos) July 13, 2015

ASOS released the YRU Nile Slide Flat Sandals, sandals that spell out the word "Dope," simply by having the "DO" on one sandal and the "PE" on the other sandal. But of course, someone realized that crossing your legs while wearing the sandals forces the sandals to say..."PEDO." Not actually something you want to rock while out on the beach.

ASOS has not commented fully on the matter, but they did say that "pedo" is not a word. Regardless, no one should be wearing sandals, let alone a pair that says "Dope." Although wearing these sandals sure is a quick way to lose friends.

No word yet on how the sandals affect street cred.

 

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Victoria Ventrone Is Honing Her Skills

July 13, 2015, 1:10 pm

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If Victoria Ventrone's alliteration of a name isn't hot enough for you, get a load of her pics. A beautiful blend of Italian and Irish ancestry, this 21-year-old Jersey girl is more than just a pretty face. She's about to graduate from Fordham University, and though she considers herself an aspiring fitness, lingerie and swimwear model, we think the days of "aspiring" are over. Ventrone's goal is to appear in "Sports Illustrated" one day, and her dream photo shoot is with her dog, a Boxer named Reggie. Scroll down to see more of the lovely Victoria Ventrone, and follow her on Instagram, too. (Photos by LifeAsFineArt.com | Cate Scaglione, Makeup by Miranda Richards)

 

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Today's Funny Photos

July 13, 2015, 11:57 pm

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These Popular Poets Can Woo Your Woman Better Than You Can

July 14, 2015, 12:24 am

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Since you can't write worth a lick, nor articulate something that doesn't involve an obsession with burritos, why not leave it to the poetic greats to woo your woman for you? They needn't be love poems, but merely well-thought-out words showing a bit of depth. Also, there's one about a sphincter.

With snippets of great poems by popular poets, your lady will be eating out of your hands, or at the very least, you won't have to sleep on the couch after you mess up her birthday card, again.
From the likes of Dylan Thomas to Walt Whitman to Shel Silverstein, check out some of the best poems by popular poets for wooing your woman here.

E. E. Cummings "I Carry Your Heart With Me"

Edward Estlin was a poet, painter and playwright. One of his best loved poems was written in summer of 1952, and his works continue to ink their way onto many an inspirational modern day meme.

I carry your heart with me
(I carry it in my heart)
I am never without it
(anywhere I go you go, my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing, my darling)
I fear no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet)
I want no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you...

W. B. Yeats "When You Are Old"

William Butler was a prolific Irish poet of the early 1900s. "When You Are Old" is one classic from 1989's "The Collected Poems of W.B. Yeats." The poem was first published in 1893.

...How many loved your moments of glad grace,
And loved your beauty with love false or true,
But one man loved the pilgrim Soul in you,
And loved the sorrows of your changing face

And bending down beside the glowing bars,
Murmur, a little sadly, how Love fled
And paced upon the mountains overhead
And hid his face amid a crowd of stars.

Edgar Allan Poe "To Isadore"

Published in 1903, "To Isadore" is a short poem of adoration and nocturnal bedtime rhyme from "The Works of Edgar Allan Poe."

...And when I bade the dream
Upon thy spirit flee,
Thy violet eyes to me
Upturned, did overflowing seem
With the deep, untold delight
Of Love's serenity;
Thy classic brow, like lilies white
And pale as the Imperial Night
Upon her throne, with stars bedight,
Enthralled my soul to thee!...

Shel Silverstein "Where the Sidewalk Ends"

Published in the collection of poems by Silverstein, whose fame is most known in "The Giving Tree," his poem "Where the Sidewalk Ends" is a same-titled poem of his 1974 book. His writing is primarily written towards children but with adult-relatable messages.

...Let us leave this place where the smoke blows black
And the dark street winds and bends.
Past the pits where the asphalt flowers grow
We shall walk with a walk that is measured and slow,
And watch where the chalk-white arrows go
To the place where the sidewalk ends...

Christina Rossetti "I Loved You First: But Afterwards Your Love"

Got to have a female poet in there somewhere, and she's surprisingly short and sweet for a 19th century English woman

With separate 'I' and 'thou' free love has done,
For one is both and both are one in love:
Rich love knows nought of 'thine that is not mine;'
Both have the strength and both the length thereof,
Both of us, of the love which makes us one.

Walt Whitman "A Glimpse"

A 19th century poet we all - Walter White especially - have somewhere in our hearts, Whitman has dozens upon dozens of love poems. This one, in particular, stands out.

A glimpse through an interstice caught,
Of a crowd of workmen and drivers in a bar-room around the stove late of a winter night, and I unremark'd seated in a corner,
Of a youth who loves me and whom I love, silently approaching and seating himself near, that he may hold me by the hand,
A long while amid the noises of coming and going, of drinking and oath and smutty jest,
There we two, content, happy in being together, speaking little, perhaps not a word.

Dylan Thomas "If I Were Tickled By the Rub of Love"

The Welsh writer who wrote the famous poem "Do Not Go Gently into the Good Night" is Dylan Thomas, a fixture of late 1940s New York, just before the likes of Allen Ginsberg became popular. "If I Were Tickled By the Rub of Love" is a sexual poem published in 1934 in a collection, "18 Poems."

And that's the rub, the only rub that tickles.
The knobbly ape that swings along his sex
From damp love-darkness and the nurse's twist
Can never raise the midnight of a chuckle,
Nor when he finds a beauty in the breast
Of lover, mother, lovers, or his six
Feet in the rubbing dust.

Robert Frost "My November Guest"

Coming from Frost's 1913 published collection of poem - "A Boy's Will" - the poem "My November Guest" isn't as classic as his road less taken, but still stands the test of time.

The desolate, deserted trees,
The faded earth, the heavy sky,
The beauties she so truly sees,
She thinks I have no eye for these,
And vexes me for reason why.
Not yesterday I learned to know
The love of bare November days
Before the coming of the snow,
But it were vain to tell he so,
And they are better for her praise.

Oscar Wilde "Her Voice"

Written in 1881, author and poet, Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde, discusses his infatuation with a woman he wishes to marry in the beginning of "Her Voice," only to have second thoughts of parting ways in the end. Ah, a humorous love story of our ages.

Sweet, there is nothing left to say
But this, that love is never lost,
Keen winter stabs the breasts of May
Whose crimson roses burst his frost,
Ships tempest-tossed
Will find a harbour in some bay,
And so we may.

And there is nothing left to do
But to kiss once again, and part,
Nay, there is nothing we should rue,
I have my beauty,--you your Art,
Nay, do not start,
One world was not enough for two
Like me and you.

Ralph Waldo Emerson "Initial Love"

Poet and essay writer of the 19th century individualist and transcendentalist movement, Emerson was a mentor to Henry David Thoreau. "Initial Love" is part of the "Early Poems of Ralph Waldo Emerson" collection, published in 1899.

The impossible shall yet be done,
And being two shall still be one.
As the wave breaks to foam on shelves,
Then runs into a wave again,
So lovers melt their sundered selves,
Yet melted would be twain.

Allen Ginsberg "Song"

Written in 1954, "Song" is a short poem of the weight love has on us by the late Ginsberg, prominently part of the late '70s underground New York City art scene.

The weight of the world
is love.
Under the burden
of solitude,
under the burden
of dissatisfaction
the weight,
the weight we carry
is love.
Who can deny?
In dreams
it touches
the body,
in thought
constructs
a miracle,
in imagination
anguishes
till born
in human--
looks out of the heart
burning with purity--
for the burden of life
is love,
but we carry the weight
wearily,
and so must rest
in the arms of love
at last,
must rest in the arms
of love...

Or... this excerpt from "Sphincter"

But another 20 years who knows,
old folks got troubles everywhere -
necks, prostates, stomachs, joints--
Hope the old hole stays young
till death, relax.

T. S. Eliot "The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock"

Thomas Stearns Eliot was a publisher, playwright and literary critic in addition to an essayist and one of the 20th century's most influential poets. This poem was written, "Prufrock" for short, was published in 1915.

Let us go then, you and I,
When the evening is spread out against the sky
Like a patient etherized upon a table;
Let us go, through certain half-deserted streets,
The muttering retreats
Of restless nights in one-night cheap hotels
And sawdust restaurants with oyster-shells...

Ludwig van Beethoven "The Immortal Beloved"

Written in 1812, "The Immortal Beloved" is actually an unsent love letter, which most modern women know from its heavy-hearted use in "Sex & The City," for which the letter was obviously likely intended by the late composer.

Be calm - love me - today - yesterday - what tearful longings for you - you - you - my life - my all - farewell. Oh continue to love me - never misjudge the most faithful heart of your beloved.
Ever thine,
Ever mine,
Ever ours.

Henry David Thoreau "Friendship"

A fellow Transcendentalist to Emerson, Thoreau was a mid 19th century philosopher and poet, amongst other things. This excerpt from "Friendship" works well with women on both platonic and romantic levels.

I think awhile of Love, and while I think,
Love is to me a world,
Sole meat and sweetest drink,
And close connecting link
Tween heaven and earth.

 

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These 'Then And Now' Photos Prove Just How Fast Time Passes Us By

July 14, 2015, 12:35 am

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It's fun looking at the cast of "Top Gun" or "Weird Science" today just to see how looks have changed, but some of the photos below will make you realize that time has a knack of seriously passing us by quickly, so better get on it and enjoy these days.





































The Chive

 

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10 Upcoming Franchise Revivals 10+ Years in the Making

July 14, 2015, 1:50 am

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With movies like last weekend's "Terminator: Genisys" still able to make beaucoup bucks at the box office despite franchise star Arnold Schwarzenegger not being present in the lead role since 2003's "Rise of the Machines," it's clear that nostalgia still reigns supreme. If that's not enough convincing for you, consider the following list of 10 other upcoming franchise revivals that have taken at least a 10-year break between new content. You'll be seeing every one of them on the big or small screen within the next year.

"Wet Hot American Summer: First Day of Camp"
Gap: July 27, 2001 - July 17, 2015 (14 years)

We'll admit that we were a little skeptical at first when it was announced that "Wet Hot American Summer" would not only be receiving the sequel treatment on Netflix, but that it would also be in the form of a prequel series instead of a follow-up movie. After all, so many of the stars of the original film have gone on to become such big movie stars (Paul Rudd, Bradley Cooper, Amy Poehler) that we didn't want it to turn out like "Arrested Development" Season 4, with many of the plots revolving around one character instead of the big group. Luckily, even if that will be the case, the recently released official trailer was more than enough to put "WHAS" fans at ease.

"Vacation"
Gap: February 14, 1997 - July 29, 2015 (18+ years)

It's hard to believe that it's been over 18 years since "Vegas Vacation" hit theaters, and even crazier than the new film will be released 32 years to the day after the original. That being said, it was scary to imagine anyone but Chevy Chase at the helm of a the next chapter, but fortunately Ed Helms (nice touch) seems to be a spot-on casting choice for the role of Clack Griswold's son Rusty. The fact that both Chase and Beverly D'Angelo will cameo in their original roles as Rusty's parents is the icing on the cake that just might save this revival from falling flat on its face.

"MallBrats"
Gap: October 20th, 1995 - TBD 2016 (21 years)

OK, we know we said in our intro that all of these movies or TV series would be out within the next year, but this entry worries us a bit. Director Kevin Smith has a tendency to be a bit of a windbag when it comes to upcoming projects, talking them up before often abandoning them completely or at the very least taking much longer to finish them than initially stated. Further evidence of this comes in the form of "MallBrats" itself, the sequel to his cult classic film "Mallrats." Initially, Smith was going to make "Clerks III," another film of his that has seen nearly 10 years between sequels, before "Brats" but changed his mind when a mall became available to shoot in immediately. Will we see either "MallBrats" or "Clerks III" by 2016? Only time will tell, but both Smith and his cast sure seems to think so.

"Fuller House"
Gap: May 23, 1995 - TBD 2016 (21 years)

We'd say this is the "Full House" for the next generation, but let's be honest, it's totally for the same generation who enjoyed the first version so much. Another Netflix revival, "Fuller House" is set to continue the story of the original, only this time oldest daughter D.J. has two boys of her own with another on the way and is living in San Francisco with her younger sister Stephanie and best friend and former next door neighbor Kimmy Gibbler. All original cast members besides the Olsen Twins seem gung ho to make this a thing, so expect to hear more and more about it in the coming months. In the meantime, just try to contain your excitement.

"Zoolander 2"
Gap: September 28, 2001 - February 12, 2016 (14+ years)

Not that we're not stoked to see "Zoolander" finally get a sequel after nearly 15 years, but other than the random content Ben Stiller occasionally posts on social media concerning his film-in-progress, we know very little about it besides that it takes place in Europe and will once again feature many celebrity cameos. Still, that seems to be enough to keep fans at bay thus far, as a little mystery never hurts when it comes to a project that already has a built-in audience. Besides, we know Billy Zane will once again be there to have Derek's back, so we can't complain, especially when it's announced with such a perfect reveal.

"Joe Dirt 2: Beautiful Loser"
Gap: April 11, 2001 - July 16, 2015 (14+ years)

Even "Joe Dirt" fans are likely on the fence when it comes to this decade late sequel. Sure, the trailer hits a lot of the same notes as the original and has done a pretty decent job of getting the core cast to come back for a round two, but none of that explains why the film is necessary so late in the game. The time travel storyline from the trailer is also a bit perplexing, but let's not speculate on that until we see it. Of course, from Crackle's standpoint, it will be the first sequel to be released online in such a way, so it's got that going for it. Only time will tell, however, if it's a story worth revisiting in the first place.

"Twin Peaks"
Gap: June 10, 1991 - TBD 2016 (25 years)

The photo tease we used here may be unofficial, but the story itself is anything but. Fans of the original series (and the feature film "Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me" which was released on August 28, 1992), couldn't be more excited, as the series plans to revisit the town of Twin Peaks 25 years after the original series came to a close. Better yet, creator David Lynch is firmly back onboard after at one point announcing he wouldn't be. Still, to anyone who is unfamiliar with the extremely bizarre and polarizing series, it begs the question "why bother?," especially considering the fairly limited fan base and amount of time the show has been off the air.

Untitled "The X-Files" miniseries
May 19, 2002 - January 24, 2016 (13+ years)

This is a bit of a cheat, but we had to let it slide due to it being one of the bigger revivals on its way back to television. While the last time we saw FBI agents Mulder and Scully in action was technically a little less than 10 years ago in the 2008 box office disappointment "The X-Files: I Want to Believe," it was a mostly standalone film that did little to wrap up the loose ends the series left us with back in 2002. While the upcoming six-episode "event" can't be considered a full-on revival (unless it does unprecedentedly well, of course), it will once again bring back its two lead actors as well as creator Chris Carter to direct. The fact that FOX plans to premiere the first two episodes immediately after the NFC championship football game is a pretty big sign of good faith that this series resuscitation will be worth the wait.

"Independence Day: Resurgence"
Gap: July 3, 1996 - June 24, 2016 (20 years)

At this point you might be saying to yourself "Do we really need a sequel to 'Independence Day' 20 years after the fact which won't even feature Will Smith?" Our answer to that question is "The Day After Tomorrow," "2012" and "White House Down." In other words, director Roland Emmerich could be shoving much worse down our throats, so we should welcome the next installment in the "ID4" franchise with open arms. Besides, we've still got Jeff Goldblum holding down the fort, which is reason enough to sing this long overdue sequel's praises.

"Star Wars: Episode VII - The Force Awakens"
Gap: May 19, 2005 - December 18, 2015 (10+ years)

As far as anticipation is concerned, we don't think it could be any higher for the final spot on this list, especially since George Lucas had very little to do with the next chapter in the "Star Wars" saga. Director J.J Abrams has done an amazing job keeping details to a minimum, and the teaser trailers like the latest one featured above give us just what we need without showing too much. That fact that it's been 10 years since we last saw a "Star Wars" film and 32 and change since the end of the original trilogy actually works in this revivals favor this time around, as it has allowed the actors to age naturally to fit the new storyline. Sometimes the best stories are worth waiting for, so we can only hope that will be the case here, as well.

 

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Mexican Immigrant Creates Donald Trump Butt Plug

July 14, 2015, 2:05 am

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Donald Trump has been all over the news recently, mainly for outspoken comments made about Mexican immigrants, but one Mexican immigrant is showing actually how he feels about the presidential hopeful by creating something that can be shoved into someone's rear.



Artist, Fernando Sosa, has designed a butt plug that resembles Donald Trump, this coming after Mexican artist, Dalton Avalos Ramirez designed a pinata that looks like him as well. Now I am not one to condone violence, but I'm sure people of all ages would like to line up for a crack at a Trump pinata. Sounds like a great party.

Now for any broken soul out there that actually wants to insert a butt plug that resembles Donald Trump, it's best to know that the figure is just a 3-D printed "conversation piece." Although, Sosa is aiming to actually make a Trump plug in the future.

Sosa himself is a Mexican immigrant who has been a success as a 3-D artist.

"I usually make butt plugs to insult dictators, homophobes and politicians. However, when I heard [Trump's] remarks about Mexicans and Latinos from South America I was extremely angry. You see I was born and raised in Mexico and moved to United States when I was 11 years old. So I don't approve of what [Trump], Ted Cruz and the Republican party have to say about us hard working Americans," Sosa stated.

"When [Trump] decided to announce he is running for president he decided to use Latinos as a scapegoat and blame us for everything that is ailing America. Many Republican politicians have done this before but never a politician running for president," Sosa added.

Now for anyone looking to spice up your love life, this plug may not be the way to go, unless you're really into politics. Like, really into it.

Via Death and Taxes

 

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Guy Photographs the Tragic Tale of the Third Wheel

July 14, 2015, 2:29 am

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We often try our best to avoid any situation where there is even a slight possibility we will be the third wheel, as that is a situation where no positive feelings exist. But one man decided to embrace his third wheel role by documenting his three year stint as the guy following his coupled up friend around.

Take a look at some of the pictures below and notice how sad they make you feel for this lad. Even if he does look like he's plotting the couple's demise in every photo.















Via Viral Thread

 

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College Student Pays For Parking Ticket Using 11,000 Pennies

July 14, 2015, 2:56 am

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Heroes come in all different shapes and sizes, and one student has become a beacon of hope by paying a parking fine with 11,000 pennies.



26-year-old student Stephen Coyle, was handed a $110 parking fine at the University of North Carolina at Charlotte, and learned that 80% of all fines go to other schools. Well Stephen, who happens to be the vice president of the mathematics club (and your next boss, probably), wasn't having any of this, so he decided to pay the fine in a very interesting way.

Stephen used up all the time he wasn't using to be with women to round up 11,000 pennies over a few days and put them all into $25 boxes.



Stephen also wrote an email to USA Today College and informed them that he thought it was wrong that college students are paying for public schools when it should be the responsibility of the taxpayer.

The University responded by giving Stephen kudos for his interest in local government, which is a nice way of giving him the middle finger.

I would like to know how one gathers 11,000 pennies in a few days.

Via Metro

 

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The ABC's of Celebrity DUI's

July 14, 2015, 3:50 am

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Come gather 'round children and you will hear,
A tale retold several times a year.
Celebs knock back a few drinks to have a good time,
Take off in their car and get charged with a crime.
Not their usual coveted prize,
These are the ABCs of Celebrity DUIs.

 

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12 Myths That Need to Die

July 14, 2015, 5:50 am

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Myths are man-made. They evolve through oral tradition without a copy editor to keep a close eye on their truthfulness. Sometimes these myths evolve into such stupid ideas that you can't help but SMH. Here are a few of the most dominate myths of today, those that make everyone stupider for having heard about them.

1. Fapping too much makes you go blind.

No, it doesn't Dad! It can, however, cause you lose your eyesight if you stare at a computer screen for 23 hours a day.

2. Fortune cookies are a Chinese tradition.

Three billion fortune cookies are made each year. Most are produced in America, where they were invented. It is a common misconception that fortune cookies are 100 percent Chinese. Wonton Food, one of the biggest producers of fortune cookies in the world, stopped production of them in China because they were seen as "too American."

3. Mountain Dew shrinks your testicles.

Remember when you were a kid and the neighborhood assholes would tell you that Yellow 5 shrinks your dick? They were lying. Personally I gave up Lucky Charms and other foods containing Yellow 5 in my youth, denying myself literal hours of happiness, only to see my penis and balls stay the same. It is a lie that Mountain Dew affects your testicles. Your testicles are just small.

4. Pissing on jellyfish stings makes them all better.

According to one of the figureheads at Red Cross, urine does not have the chemical makeup to treat jellyfish stings. Popularized by "Friends" when Joey pisses on Monica's leg, it is a common misconception that pee takes away the pain. It makes more sense that you simply forget about the pain when you have someone else peeing on your leg.

5. Just be yourself.

Never be yourself. Yourself sucks.

6. Your heart stops when you sneeze.

No, that would be cardiac arrest. I would've died thousands of times. Equally dumb is the idea that your eyes will pop out of your skull if you sneeze with them open.

7. HIV started because a man had sex with a monkey.

You can always bet on the moron of the group to shout, "A dude had sex with a chimp!" But alas, those are lies.

Thn origin of HIV is traced back to equatorial Africa in the 50's when, as they say, hunters came in contact with chimpanzees affected with the simian immunodeficiency virus. They ate the chimpanzees and the virus mutated within them. It was not - however hilarious - caused by a man spelunking a monkey.

8. The moon landing was fake.

In 2009, Whoopi Goldberg expressed doubt in the moon landing, exhibiting how utterly idiotic mainstream American culture is. In the U.S., 7 percent of people think it was a hoax, spelling doom for this nation. Whenever I start to feel gloomy about this, I always watch the video of Buzz Aldrin punching that dude who called him a liar and feel renewed.

9. Men think about sex every seven seconds.

Lies. That would mean we think about sex 514 times an hour. This is obviously propaganda to suggest men are pigs. One study out of Ohio State concluded that men have "19 thoughts about sex each day." More palatable, but I'd wager it's more than that, and somewhere in the middle.

10. Shaving causes hair to grow back thicker.

One can theorize the origin of such a spectacular fib: Moms telling their post pubescent beta male kids that their facial hair will thicken in time, with just the right methods. I too bought into this myth once upon a time but didn't see any results. Thanks Mom.

11. Ghosts exist.

I can already hear the thunder in the Mandatory commentariat. Ghosts don't exist, there I said it. You can tell your stories about that one time a ghost opened a door in your house or you felt something touch your hand. Odds are you imagined it, psycho. Ghosts are physically impossible. I can't believe I even have to say this.

12. We are all created equal.

Yes, Bieber could've beaten Bobby Fischer at chess. Paris Hilton knows as much about astrophysics as Neil deGrasse Tyson. Snooki was on her way to inventing Twitter but Jack Dorsey stole her idea. We are not equal. Deal with it.

 

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Oregon Man Busted Playing With Himself While Masturbating A Horse At The Same Time

July 14, 2015, 6:07 am

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Well, here's a resume killer.

According to Oregon Live, a 56-year-old Grand Ronde man was arrested last month after he was spotted jerking off a horse and himself at the same time.



Police said the horse's owner and two other people witnessed Glen Garbutt's interpretation of "multi-tasking" on June 4. However, police were unable to locate Garbutt until June 28 when they received a tip that he was at a local church.

When Garbutt spotted the responding deputy, he ran from the church. Despite repeated warnings that he would be tased if he didn't stop running, Garbutt continued to run and was tased at least three times as a result.

While waiting for other officers to arrive on the scene, the deputy informed Garbutt he was being arrested on suspicion of sexual assault of an animal. At that point, Garbutt yelled that he "didn't have sex with a horse," despite the fact that the officer hadn't yet mentioned that the animal was a horse.

Let's be honest: When you have to affirm that you "didn't have sex with a horse" to anybody, whether it's a police officer or the guy taking a leak next to you in the john, you've made some rather poor life choices.

This guy did​ have sex with a horse...thrice: Man Arrested After Trying To Have Sex With Horse...For A Third Time

 

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Female Weightlifter Attempts Clean-And-Jerk But Faints Instead

July 14, 2015, 6:13 am

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And she still won the silver medal!

According to Fox Sports, a female weightlifter competing at the Pan Am Games in Ontario, Canada over the weekend was damn near crushed when she fainted during one of her clean-and-jerk attempts.

Thankfully for Genesis Rodriguez Gomez, the 233 pounds of weight fell behind her. And thankfully for all of us, the whole thing was captured on video.



Even crazier than fainting while briefly holding 233 pounds over your head? You guessed it: Waking up, adding almost seven more pounds to the bar and giving it another try.

And that's exactly what Gomez did on her next attempt - successfully, I might add - claiming the silver medal in the process.

This idiot fainted because he was trying to save 25 bucks: Guy Passes Out On Plane After Wearing All His Clothes To Avoid Paying Luggage Fee

 

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Florida Woman Arrested for Hitting Her Lesbian Lover in the Face With a Dildo

July 14, 2015, 6:20 am

≫ Next: There Are A Bunch Of Dildos Hanging Off Power Lines In Portland

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Yeah, that's usually frowned upon outside of the bedroom or dungeon, especially when you do it right in front of a cop.

According to the Daily Mail, a 57-year-old St. Petersburg woman was arrested and charged with domestic battery after she hit her lesbian partner in the face with a dildo during an argument over what must have been one hell of a dress.



Police said Gazme Capaner-Ridley filed for a civil domestic violence injunction on Friday, and she returned to the residence she shared with Annette Kielhurn, along with a police officer to retrieve her belongings.

At some point during the retrieval process, Capaner-Ridley grabbed a dress that Kielhurn strongly believed didn't belong to her. You know, the kind of strong belief where you "intentionally shove a dildo in the victim's face and grab her right arm" in an effort to show that the dress does in fact belong to you.

Kielhurn was immediately arrested and charged with domestic battery by the officer onsite.

It's unknown which one of the ladies owned the dildo or if there will be a similar fight over possession of it, but if so, that's something I'd pay 20 bucks to watch.

They have been using sex toys as weapons out west for years: New Mexico Woman Arrested for Beating Her Mother With a Vibrator

 

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There Are A Bunch Of Dildos Hanging Off Power Lines In Portland

July 14, 2015, 6:30 am

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First free weed, and now Portland has dildos hanging around everywhere. They are truly innovators.



The Portland Office of Neighborhood Involvement have recently been receiving a lot of reports, reports that large, white and orange dildos are hanging off power lines. The dildos are everywhere, mainly in major commercial streets.

Portland General Electric do not believe they are a fire hazard.

No word yet on who has been putting these dildos on power lines, or why. Perhaps it's an art student, but it's probably a guy that is fed up with his wife not paying attention to him anymore. Most likely.

Via Boing Boing

 

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This Female Cosplayer Filmed Herself Walking For 10 Hours And Got Some Interesting Reactions

July 14, 2015, 7:50 am

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There are plenty of female cosplayers at Comic-Con, but the woman below decided to film herself in costume walking around at Comic-Con for ten hours. Check out all the reactions from all those nerds. So many nerds...



Here are some Comic-Con pickup lines:

"...over here just a little bit. Away from all those perverts. Just this pervert here."
"...because your butt looks awesome and I need a picture of your butt."
"A sweaty, beautiful woman is always good."

 

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The Break-Up Translation Guide

July 14, 2015, 8:02 am

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If you've ever been dumped, and you're pretty sure the reason you got was a line of crap, you're probably right. Breaking up is hard to do, but with this amazing break-up translator, understanding what your soon-to-be ex really means won't be. So, you know, silver lining.

Also check out: Expectations vs. Reality: Moving In With Your Girlfriend

 

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Watch These Moms Guess What Porn Terms Mean

July 14, 2015, 9:59 am

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A group of moms were rounded up and asked what some porn terms meant, and while they tried very hard, most of them weren't even close. Which is probably a good thing because your mom shouldn't know what any of these terms mean...or know what sex is...or how to do it...ugh, mental images...

 

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