Whether you believe that all of these photos are purely coincidental or not, one thing we can all agree on, at the very least, is that they're purely hilarious.
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via Izismile
via Izismile
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11 Photos That Prove Coincidences Can Be Beyond Hilarious
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Trader Joe's 'Healthy' Foods That Are Less Than Healthy
You wouldn't know it by all the health nuts and tight yoga bums in your local Trader Joe's aisles, but there are plenty of seemingly safe Trader Joe's foods that are actually less than healthy. Just like you wouldn't expect some of these horrid fast food facts that'll change your diet, many of the foods at Joe's are unexpectedly high in sodium and cholesterol and should be avoided, or at least used in moderation. For those of us who aren't big cooks, you'll notice Trader Joe's does an excellent job of packing great taste into frozen foods with little effort involved, and many of these foods from the frozen section are the ones to steer clear of, along with a few others you might not see coming. Join us for a trip through Trader Joe's for a little supermarket sweep of seemingly safe, less than healthy foods. Here's your first tip: Steer clear of the sauce packets.
Quasi-Sushi
![trader joe's groceries, trader joe's unhealthy food]()
Words like "imitation crabmeat" and "potato starch" start getting thrown around when you discuss the ingredients of Trader Joe's "fresh" sushi from the refrigerator aisle. While it might appear attractive and affordable, not a lot of big sushi eaters go for cheap crab rolls with mystery ingredients and slimy rice. More like crap roll, am I right? Anytime you pay under seven bucks for a sushi roll, you think you're getting away with murder. Well, you'd be the fool here. My dog eats better than this.
Turkey Meatloaf Muffins
![trader joe's groceries, trader joe's unhealthy food]()
Ask any Trader Joe's expert what their least favorite item is and - dollars to donuts - every damn time it'll be the turkey meatloaf muffin. Although their sushi is a popular candidate, anyone who's tried the meatloaf muffins will correct you. Some say it looks like cooked barf, while others claim it simply tastes like cooked barf. That's before you taste all the fat, sodium and cholesterol packed inside.
Mandarin Orange Chicken
![trader joe's groceries, trader joe's unhealthy food]()
While Trader's frozen chicken may be quick and easy compared to most ethnic chicken recipes, their Mandarin orange chicken has a bit more cholesterol than necessary. Previously at 95 milligrams - 30 percent - their orange chicken now has 60 milligrams. That's a lot going towards your cholesterol levels, but the real kicker is that the sauce, which has been laid to blame for a lot of the unhealthiness in their frozen section, wasn't even originally included in the nutritional facts. Convenient much?
Chicken Chow Mein (Low Fat)
![trader joe's groceries, trader joe's unhealthy food]()
It may say "low fat" on the package, but this tasty Chinese cuisine is higher in sodium than Cheech and Chong were high on grass in the '70s. Although the latter is hard to measure, Trader's chow mein has 920 milligrams of sodium, accounting for 38 percent of your daily intake. The chow mein is heavy on noodles (carbs), but also gives a decent amount of peppers and broccoli, which can all be thawed and cooked in under 7 minutes. However, that frozen sauce package is the lingering doom inside the bag, and whether or not they account for its contaminants, the meal itself is more than salty enough with only half the package. If you want to make it healthier, steer clear of the package altogether, or at most, lightly drizzle.
Trader Ming's Kung Pao Chicken
![trader joe's groceries, trader joe's unhealthy food]()
Much like their Mandarin chicken, Trader Joe's - Trader Ming's, if we're choosing to use their semi-racist alias -Kung Pao is loaded mostly with sodium (690 mg) at 29 percent and cholesterol (90 mg) at 30 percent. The rest is saturated fat and carbs, so while it seems like an easy fix to the broken bachelor's cooking guide, we'd suggest making this a treat or a rarity rather than a weekly ritual.
Chile Relleno
![trader joe's groceries, trader joe's unhealthy food]()
At 1,160 miiligrams of sodium, Trader's chile rellleno is -in some ways - nearly as bad as an entire bag of greasy potato chips or trip to the fast food lane. When you think chile relleno, you may envision a nicely cooked meal, but with Trader Joe's rendition, there's more than 65 percent the daily saturated fat and more than 50 percent the daily sodium therein. Although low in poor additives and sweeteners, there's still a bit too many calories, sugar and cholesterol than needs be. Then again, most chile relleno dishes are likely to be high in cholesterol. Don't go assuming it's healthy just because it comes from Trader Joe's shelf.
Mac & Cheese Bites
![trader joe's groceries, trader joe's unhealthy food]()
As if mac 'n cheese wasn't lazy enough, now all you have to do is toss some breaded cheesy bites on the Pizzazz - god help you if you don't know what that is - and enjoy after around 10 to 15 minutes. Although one of the ultimate drunk snacks, the thing about this particular snack is the calories and saturated fat loaded in each cheesy bite of deliciousness. A snack should not hold 35 percent of your daily saturated fat, and each bite you take shouldn't have around 50 calories, but they do here. Great as a snack where you have one or two, maybe even three, the mac & cheese bites at Trader's shouldn't become a whole meal in and of itself. But it surely will, you lazy shit.
Chicken Pesto Wraps
![trader joe's groceries, trader joe's unhealthy food]()
When you think "wrap," you think healthy alternative to big breaded sandwich, but not all of Trader Joe's sandwiches and wraps are meant to be trusted. For instance, their Chicken Wrap with Pesto Vinaigrette has nearly the same amount of calories as McDonald's Big Mac, as well as a gross amount of sodium at 560 milligrams. Made for one serving, the 470 calories seems like overkill for a wrap that has grilled chicken inside. We're guessing it has something to do with the pesto, so while this is good if you're on the go, it might be better to grill up some chicken and leave the pesto and other salty additives for another day.
Pulled Beef Brisket (In Smokey BBQ Sauce)
![trader joe's groceries, trader joe's unhealthy food]()
If you're pulling Joe's beef brisket onto a hot set of buns, we'll tell you what you're getting: carbs, sodium, cholesterol, saturated fat and not much else. Though it may be tasty on the tongue and fills you up, despite being a little sweet on the barbecue sauce and containing more gristle than necessary, the brisket isn't something you want to make a big habit of getting from the cooler section. It's good for a quick bite or for camping, but if you're cooking for a lady, maybe stick to fresh food.
Charles Shaw "Two-Buck Chuck"
![trader joe's groceries, trader joe's unhealthy food]()
As a Trader Joe's shopper and a wino myself, it pains me to do this, but it's true. Though price doesn't necessarily dictate good wine, here it does, although it's not bad for what you're paying. Grape musk - that gives it that fresh grape taste - along with synthetic and concentrate ingredients make the best cheap wine around a whole lot less appealing. If they're selling it for that cheap, just think how cheap it is for them to make it. Maybe you'd be better off trying some of our favorite summer seasonal beers while there's still time. But hey, if it gets people into understanding wine, then why the hell not?
Quasi-Sushi
Words like "imitation crabmeat" and "potato starch" start getting thrown around when you discuss the ingredients of Trader Joe's "fresh" sushi from the refrigerator aisle. While it might appear attractive and affordable, not a lot of big sushi eaters go for cheap crab rolls with mystery ingredients and slimy rice. More like crap roll, am I right? Anytime you pay under seven bucks for a sushi roll, you think you're getting away with murder. Well, you'd be the fool here. My dog eats better than this.
Turkey Meatloaf Muffins
Ask any Trader Joe's expert what their least favorite item is and - dollars to donuts - every damn time it'll be the turkey meatloaf muffin. Although their sushi is a popular candidate, anyone who's tried the meatloaf muffins will correct you. Some say it looks like cooked barf, while others claim it simply tastes like cooked barf. That's before you taste all the fat, sodium and cholesterol packed inside.
Mandarin Orange Chicken
While Trader's frozen chicken may be quick and easy compared to most ethnic chicken recipes, their Mandarin orange chicken has a bit more cholesterol than necessary. Previously at 95 milligrams - 30 percent - their orange chicken now has 60 milligrams. That's a lot going towards your cholesterol levels, but the real kicker is that the sauce, which has been laid to blame for a lot of the unhealthiness in their frozen section, wasn't even originally included in the nutritional facts. Convenient much?
Chicken Chow Mein (Low Fat)
It may say "low fat" on the package, but this tasty Chinese cuisine is higher in sodium than Cheech and Chong were high on grass in the '70s. Although the latter is hard to measure, Trader's chow mein has 920 milligrams of sodium, accounting for 38 percent of your daily intake. The chow mein is heavy on noodles (carbs), but also gives a decent amount of peppers and broccoli, which can all be thawed and cooked in under 7 minutes. However, that frozen sauce package is the lingering doom inside the bag, and whether or not they account for its contaminants, the meal itself is more than salty enough with only half the package. If you want to make it healthier, steer clear of the package altogether, or at most, lightly drizzle.
Trader Ming's Kung Pao Chicken
Much like their Mandarin chicken, Trader Joe's - Trader Ming's, if we're choosing to use their semi-racist alias -Kung Pao is loaded mostly with sodium (690 mg) at 29 percent and cholesterol (90 mg) at 30 percent. The rest is saturated fat and carbs, so while it seems like an easy fix to the broken bachelor's cooking guide, we'd suggest making this a treat or a rarity rather than a weekly ritual.
Chile Relleno
At 1,160 miiligrams of sodium, Trader's chile rellleno is -in some ways - nearly as bad as an entire bag of greasy potato chips or trip to the fast food lane. When you think chile relleno, you may envision a nicely cooked meal, but with Trader Joe's rendition, there's more than 65 percent the daily saturated fat and more than 50 percent the daily sodium therein. Although low in poor additives and sweeteners, there's still a bit too many calories, sugar and cholesterol than needs be. Then again, most chile relleno dishes are likely to be high in cholesterol. Don't go assuming it's healthy just because it comes from Trader Joe's shelf.
Mac & Cheese Bites
As if mac 'n cheese wasn't lazy enough, now all you have to do is toss some breaded cheesy bites on the Pizzazz - god help you if you don't know what that is - and enjoy after around 10 to 15 minutes. Although one of the ultimate drunk snacks, the thing about this particular snack is the calories and saturated fat loaded in each cheesy bite of deliciousness. A snack should not hold 35 percent of your daily saturated fat, and each bite you take shouldn't have around 50 calories, but they do here. Great as a snack where you have one or two, maybe even three, the mac & cheese bites at Trader's shouldn't become a whole meal in and of itself. But it surely will, you lazy shit.
Chicken Pesto Wraps
When you think "wrap," you think healthy alternative to big breaded sandwich, but not all of Trader Joe's sandwiches and wraps are meant to be trusted. For instance, their Chicken Wrap with Pesto Vinaigrette has nearly the same amount of calories as McDonald's Big Mac, as well as a gross amount of sodium at 560 milligrams. Made for one serving, the 470 calories seems like overkill for a wrap that has grilled chicken inside. We're guessing it has something to do with the pesto, so while this is good if you're on the go, it might be better to grill up some chicken and leave the pesto and other salty additives for another day.
Pulled Beef Brisket (In Smokey BBQ Sauce)
If you're pulling Joe's beef brisket onto a hot set of buns, we'll tell you what you're getting: carbs, sodium, cholesterol, saturated fat and not much else. Though it may be tasty on the tongue and fills you up, despite being a little sweet on the barbecue sauce and containing more gristle than necessary, the brisket isn't something you want to make a big habit of getting from the cooler section. It's good for a quick bite or for camping, but if you're cooking for a lady, maybe stick to fresh food.
Charles Shaw "Two-Buck Chuck"
As a Trader Joe's shopper and a wino myself, it pains me to do this, but it's true. Though price doesn't necessarily dictate good wine, here it does, although it's not bad for what you're paying. Grape musk - that gives it that fresh grape taste - along with synthetic and concentrate ingredients make the best cheap wine around a whole lot less appealing. If they're selling it for that cheap, just think how cheap it is for them to make it. Maybe you'd be better off trying some of our favorite summer seasonal beers while there's still time. But hey, if it gets people into understanding wine, then why the hell not?
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This Woman Tried To Eat Crack Cocaine While Being Arrested Because You Shouldn't Let Things Go To Waste
Some mugshots are hot, and some are quite memorable, but the woman below has quite a story to go along with her hilarious mugshot.
![Linda Blair, Woman Tries To Swallow Cocaine]()
48-year-old Linda Blair from Douglas, Georgia was stopped by detectives when she was suspected of stealing, but it was quickly discovered that she was also wanted for probation violation and for theft by receiving.
So when cops tried to arrest her, Linda did the next logical thing: she attempted to chew and eat some crack cocaine.
Luckily for Linda, cops were able to stop her before she swallowed the small amount of crack.
Judging by the expression on her mugshot, she may have swallowed a bit.
Via Metro
48-year-old Linda Blair from Douglas, Georgia was stopped by detectives when she was suspected of stealing, but it was quickly discovered that she was also wanted for probation violation and for theft by receiving.
So when cops tried to arrest her, Linda did the next logical thing: she attempted to chew and eat some crack cocaine.
Luckily for Linda, cops were able to stop her before she swallowed the small amount of crack.
Judging by the expression on her mugshot, she may have swallowed a bit.
Via Metro
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Idiot Pokes Sleeping Anaconda With Stick
You should never poke or disturb any sleeping animal, especially one that can swallow you whole. But the idiot below decided to do just that to a sleeping anaconda.
Imagine someone poking you with a stick while you're trying to sleep. You would have the same reaction as that snake. Coincidentally, that's the same reaction people have when Nicki Minaj's "Anaconda" comes on.
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Grandparents Attempting To Successfully Text
If there is one thing that doesn't go well together it's grandparents and technology, but that doesn't stop them from trying to get over that scary technology hump in order to keep up with us. So if you don't reach out to them, they will sure as hell try to see if they can talk to you...even if that means texting you. Here are some instances where grandparents attempted to text.
![Funny, GrandParents Try To Text]()
![funny grandma text]()
![Funny, Grandparents Try To Text]()
![Funny, Grandparents Try To Text]()
![Funny, Grandparents Try To Text]()
![Funny, Grandparents Try To Text]()
![Funny, Grandparents Try To Text]()
![Funny, Grandparents Try To Text]()
![Funny, Grandparents Try To Text]()
![Funny, Grandparents Try To Text]()
![Funny, Grandparents Try to Text]()
![Funny, Grandparents Try To Text]()
![Funny, Grandparents Try To Text]()
![Funny, Grandparents Try To Text]()
![Funny, GrandParents Try To Text]()
![Funny, GrandParents Try To Text]()
![Funny, GrandParents Try To Text]()
![Funny, GrandParents Try To Text]()
![Funny, GrandParents Try To Text]()
Via The Chive
Via The Chive
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Dude Gets Rejected By Text, Responds Back In The Most Passive-Aggressive Way Possible
A woman named Candice went on a date with the guy below, a guy who happened to be a lawyer. The guy showed up wearing a fedora, and just by that fact alone should have never been allowed to go out on another date again. After Candice told him there was no connection on the date, the lawyer decided to take a very interesting route to tell Candice exactly how he feels about her.
![Funny, Passive Agressive Text, Fedora Lawyer]()
![Funny, Passive Agressive Text, Fedora Lawyer]()
![Funny, Passive Agressive Text, Fedora Lawyer]()
![Funny, Passive Agressive Text, Fedora Lawyer]()
![Funny, Passive Agressive Text, Fedora Lawyer]()
Here are some breakup texts that are quite memorable as well.
Via SomeeCards
Here are some breakup texts that are quite memorable as well.
Via SomeeCards
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20 Hysterical Swimming Pool Fails, Vol. 2
Last year, we showed you a number of ways how not to get into a pool, and this year's follow-up will be no exception...but with a twist. We all love seeing people wipe out upon entry, so we'd be crazy not to feature a bunch more photos and GIFs of the sort this time around. However, there are a number of other ways to fail at the swimming pool, so we made sure to highlight those along the way, too.
![swimming pool fails]()
Hope you don't mind if we jump right into things.
![swimming pool fails]()
You're doing it wrong.
![swimming pool fails]()
You, too, kid. And stop telling people you can swim in the deep end all by yourself, even if it is technically true.
![swimming pool fails]()
Those chairs can't possibly be good for your back.
![swimming pool fails]()
Yet there isn't a single "No Diving" sign in sight.
![swimming pool fails]()
The best fails always come with a great buildup.
![swimming pool fails]()
See what we mean?
![swimming pool fails]()
We'd say they really backed themselves into a corner, but that's not accurate.
![swimming pool fails]()
So that's what instant regret looks like.
![swimming pool fails]()
That's a big pool for such a small...pool.
![swimming pool fails]()
Aaand scarred for life.
![swimming pool fails]()
This might actually qualify as a hot tub fail. We're not sure.
![swimming pool fails]()
When it comes to perfectly executed pool jumps, this guy goes above and beyond.
![swimming pool fails]()
So this is common enough to warrant its own sign?
![swimming pool fails]()
We just answered our own question.
![swimming pool fails]()
"Wipeout Junior" is our favorite TV show that doesn't exist.
![swimming pool fails]()
Must be cold in there.
![swimming pool fails]()
Haven't we learned anything from Carrot Top through the years? Props never pay off.
![swimming pool fails]()
This week on "The Douchiest Catch."
![swimming pool fails]()
We leave you with a swimming pool fail by multiple definitions. Have a safe rest of the summer, everyone!
Hope you don't mind if we jump right into things.
You're doing it wrong.
You, too, kid. And stop telling people you can swim in the deep end all by yourself, even if it is technically true.
Those chairs can't possibly be good for your back.
Yet there isn't a single "No Diving" sign in sight.
The best fails always come with a great buildup.
See what we mean?
We'd say they really backed themselves into a corner, but that's not accurate.
So that's what instant regret looks like.
That's a big pool for such a small...pool.
Aaand scarred for life.
This might actually qualify as a hot tub fail. We're not sure.
When it comes to perfectly executed pool jumps, this guy goes above and beyond.
So this is common enough to warrant its own sign?
We just answered our own question.
"Wipeout Junior" is our favorite TV show that doesn't exist.
Must be cold in there.
Haven't we learned anything from Carrot Top through the years? Props never pay off.
This week on "The Douchiest Catch."
We leave you with a swimming pool fail by multiple definitions. Have a safe rest of the summer, everyone!
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These Pet Tags Are Both Helpful And Hilarious
We love our pets, we really do, even when they do this. But sometimes pets go missing and have no way of returning back home. That is unless you have a pet tag that notifies people who the pet belongs to. And if you're going to put a tag on your pet, you might as well make it hilarious so people can know that you are both a good owner and a hilarious one too. These are some lucky pets below. Check out these fantastic pet tags.
![Funny Pets, Pets With Money Pet Tags, Hilarious Dog Tags]()
![Funny Pets, Pets With Money Pet Tags, Hilarious Dog Tags]()
![Funny Pets, Funny Pet Tags, Hilarious Dog Tags]()
![Funny Pets, Funny Pet Tags, Hilarious Dog Tags]()
![Funny Pets, Funny Pet Tags, Hilarious Dog Tags]()
![Funny Pets, Funny Pet Tags, Hilarious Dog Tags]()
![Funny Pets, Funny Pet Tags, Hilarious Dog Tags]()
![Funny Pets, Funny Pet Tags, Hilarious Dog Tags]()
![Funny Pets, Funny Pet Tags, Hilarious Dog Tags]()
![Funny Pets, Funny Pet Tags, Hilarious Dog Tags]()
Via Tumblr
Via Tumblr
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Louisa Warwick Brings Some British Sass To New York
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Kid Suffers Hilarious Instant Karma In Ultimate Bow and Arrow Fail
Okay, this kid didn't deserve karma to come back to him since he was just messing around. But if there is one video that best represents instant karma this is it.
I like how he came up to the camera to show the world his shame.
I like how he came up to the camera to show the world his shame.
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The Ridiculously Photogenic Volleyball Player Got Photoshopped By The Internet
The Internet is at it again.
![Funny, Photoshop. Ridiculously Photogenic Volleyball Player]()
It was just a few days ago that the Internet went photoshop crazy on a woman with a rainbow colored bikini, and now they have brought their photoshop obsession to the ridiculously photogenic volleyball player. And some of the results are quite hilarious.
![Funny, Photoshop. Ridiculously Photogenic Volleyball Player]()
![Funny, Photoshop. Ridiculously Photogenic Volleyball Player]()
![Funny, Photoshop. Ridiculously Photogenic Volleyball Player]()
![Funny, Photoshop. Ridiculously Photogenic Volleyball Player]()
![Funny, Photoshop. Ridiculously Photogenic Volleyball Player]()
![Funny, Photoshop. Ridiculously Photogenic Volleyball Player]()
![Funny, Photoshop. Ridiculously Photogenic Volleyball Player]()
![Funny, Photoshop Volleyball Player]()
![Funny, Photoshopped Volleyball Player]()
![Funny, Photoshopped Volleyball Player]()
![Funny, Photoshopped Volleyball Player]()
Via Reddit
It was just a few days ago that the Internet went photoshop crazy on a woman with a rainbow colored bikini, and now they have brought their photoshop obsession to the ridiculously photogenic volleyball player. And some of the results are quite hilarious.
Via Reddit
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The Most Hilarious Tweets About How It Feels To Be Getting Old
Getting old is never fun, but the alternative is dying, so maybe it's not that bad after all? Your body starts creaking and popping in ways you never imagined. You ache after most activities and most evenings you just want to go home and go to bed. Thankfully these hilarious people found a way to make light of the aging process and posted some brilliant tweets on the subject for you to enjoy.
You know you're getting old when all of your injuries are a result of "sleeping weird"
- elan gale (@theyearofelan) January 6, 2015
I like to re-enact childhood moments like leaning over my cereal to hear the Snap, Crackle & Pop of my neck because getting old sucks.
- Terry F (@daemonic3) February 12, 2014
I don't want to say I'm getting old, but I just threw my back out throwing my shoulder out.
- Patrick Walsh (@thepatrickwalsh) January 24, 2014
getting old is gonna be tight because you can just force people to listen to a story about an apple orchard you saw once
- Churlish (@Cryptoterra) October 7, 2014
I've opened the clock enough times on my phone when meaning to open the calculator to know that getting old won't go well for me.
- Erica (@SCbchbum) July 5, 2015
I had the best dream about discussing an investment opportunity and then going to the chiropractor. Is this what getting old is like
- DΞΒΒΥ RΥΛΠ (@DebbyRyan) April 30, 2015
I know I'm getting old because I just saw a group of hot chicks in bikinis and my first thought was "I hope they're wearing sunblock."
- Stephanie McMaster (@Smethanie) June 23, 2013
You know you're getting old when the cashier at Hot Topic ends every sentence with "sir" and begins every sentence with "you have to leave."
- Mike Drucker (@MikeDrucker) April 14, 2015
I'm so old I remember when fame was a by-product of talent.
- side-eye spice (@goldengateblond) September 25, 2014
I'm so old that I actually thought it was funny that I just heard Bon Jovi on the oldies station
- Andy Richter (@AndyRichter) May 30, 2015
If you've ever wondered if you're getting old, ask yourself this question. Have you ever bought expensive cheese? Therein lies your answer
- Christopher Sherk (@TheIronSherk) April 28, 2013
You know you're getting old when you wake up feeling hungover & you didn't even have anything to drink.
- Erica (@SCbchbum) June 23, 2014
Getting old means hating the things you used to like and liking the things you used to hate.
- Clarke Kant (@clarkekant) April 28, 2015
"You know you're getting old when your finger cramps up while scrolling down to find the year you were born on a website."
- (C)hel (@cee_ryan) March 7, 2013
I knew I was officially old when that girl at Coachella asked who my favorite DJ was and I said "Tanner".
- Max Miller (@RuinMyWeek) May 10, 2013
I may be getting old, but I'm not "let me call you, I hate texting" old.
- Gladstone (@WGladstone) January 9, 2013
You're officially old the day someone asks how old you are and you respond "how old do I look?".
- The Guy (@theguydf) May 1, 2015
Another cool thing about getting old is pissing like a Keurig machine.
- Bryan Donaldson (@TheNardvark) April 29, 2013
You know you're getting old when you pull out your high-powered back massager and actually use it on your back.
- Adrienne Airhart (@craydrienne) February 23, 2015
It's Friday night & I've been in bed watching Netflix & eating snacks for 3 hours. Never let anyone tell you that getting old is terrible.
- Drew Snow (@Dschnoeb) March 7, 2015
You know you're getting old when your mom starts to smell like your grandma.
- Ally Maynard (@missmayn) September 25, 2013
I know I'm getting old because I just said the phrase "The joy of going to bed early."
- Kumail Nanjiani (@kumailn) July 2, 2014
I'm so old I remember when people didn't publicly express every feeling they had every moment they had it.
- side-eye spice (@goldengateblond) March 27, 2015
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A Guy Dumps His Girlfriend On A Roller Coaster Because Relationships Are Terrifying
As a non-fan of roller coasters, heights and responsibilities in general, you can't really fault the guy below for acting out the way he did after he was seemingly forced on a roller coaster by his girlfriend.
Now, it's tough to believe that is real (her acting might need some help) but being broken up with usually feels like going down on a roller coaster and most of the time it makes you want to throw up, so it fits.
Now, it's tough to believe that is real (her acting might need some help) but being broken up with usually feels like going down on a roller coaster and most of the time it makes you want to throw up, so it fits.
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Woman Damn Near Breaks Her Face Attempting The 'Dirty Dancing' Move
Patrick Swayze said he injured one of knees during the filming of "Dirty Dancing," which I'm sure hurt like hell at the time.
But let's be honest: It's way better than breaking your face trying to replicate the famous hold scene from the movie while a cover band plays a song that isn't even from the movie. In fact, Celine Dion's "My Heart Will Go On" wasn't even released until 10 years after "Dirty Dancing" hit theaters.
Nevertheless, some dude trying to get some play over the weekend convinced a young lady that that was the right thing to do. And of course since we're writing about it, it was not.
Yes, Mama Cass, somebody got that on video.
In a related story, not very many people attended this cover band's show over the weekend, and that's probably because they cover Celine Dion tunes.
h/t Barstool Sports
Attempting it while you're housed at a wedding isn't a good idea either: This Is Why You Shouldn't Attempt The 'Dirty Dancing' Move With Your Pal
But let's be honest: It's way better than breaking your face trying to replicate the famous hold scene from the movie while a cover band plays a song that isn't even from the movie. In fact, Celine Dion's "My Heart Will Go On" wasn't even released until 10 years after "Dirty Dancing" hit theaters.
Nevertheless, some dude trying to get some play over the weekend convinced a young lady that that was the right thing to do. And of course since we're writing about it, it was not.
Yes, Mama Cass, somebody got that on video.
In a related story, not very many people attended this cover band's show over the weekend, and that's probably because they cover Celine Dion tunes.
h/t Barstool Sports
Attempting it while you're housed at a wedding isn't a good idea either: This Is Why You Shouldn't Attempt The 'Dirty Dancing' Move With Your Pal
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Chinese Distillers Busted Adding Viagra To Their Booze
Your honor, we were just trying to make some hard liquor. Literally.
According to the BBC, two distillers in the southern Chinese city of Liuzhou are under investigation by local police after Viagra powder was found in thousands of bottles of a popular Chinese spirit known as baijiu.
![Chinese distillers busted putting viagra in booze]()
Police seized more than 5,300 bottles of booze worth somewhere in the neighborhood of $113,000 along with packets of Sildenafil, which is better known as Viagra to those looking for help in the "massive, throbbing boners" department.
The Liuzhou Food and Drug Administration said the distillers added Viagra to three different types of baijiu and told consumers that it had "health-preserving qualities."
![viagra, viagra blue pill]()
It's unknown exactly how the FDA was tipped off about the distillers' secret ingredient, but our guess is that either penetration complaints on the dance floors at local clubs skyrocketed in the last month, or fans at local ping pong matches were unwillingly showing more excitement than usual during extended rallies.
Or maybe whiskey dick became insanely jealous and made an anonymous call to authorities.
You might need boner pills in your booze if you take her home and she's wearing these: Granny Panties Are Making A Comeback
According to the BBC, two distillers in the southern Chinese city of Liuzhou are under investigation by local police after Viagra powder was found in thousands of bottles of a popular Chinese spirit known as baijiu.
Police seized more than 5,300 bottles of booze worth somewhere in the neighborhood of $113,000 along with packets of Sildenafil, which is better known as Viagra to those looking for help in the "massive, throbbing boners" department.
The Liuzhou Food and Drug Administration said the distillers added Viagra to three different types of baijiu and told consumers that it had "health-preserving qualities."
It's unknown exactly how the FDA was tipped off about the distillers' secret ingredient, but our guess is that either penetration complaints on the dance floors at local clubs skyrocketed in the last month, or fans at local ping pong matches were unwillingly showing more excitement than usual during extended rallies.
Or maybe whiskey dick became insanely jealous and made an anonymous call to authorities.
You might need boner pills in your booze if you take her home and she's wearing these: Granny Panties Are Making A Comeback
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Some Kid Was Drinking Coors Light At The Brewers-Cubs Game Yesterday
We get where this kid is coming from, as it takes more than a few cold ones for Brewers fans to watch their beloved team these days and not jump off the roofs of their West Allis starter homes afterward.
But while getting busted by television cameras taking a swig of your mom's Coors Light when you're only nine years old is a great way to make viewers at home giggle, it's also a great way for you and your mother to make an acquaintance with the fine folks down at child services.
The Cubs swept the Brew Crew at Miller Park over the weekend, and Milwaukee has now lost 10 of its last 12 games. In fact, things are so bad in Milwaukee this year that it looks like the only thing that can temporarily take people's minds off of their shitty baseball team is a child drinking beer.
h/t Busted Coverage
Getting busted downing the Silver Bullet as a minor on live TV is still way better than this clown: House Of Lords Speaker John Sewel Caught In Cocaine Sex Party With Hookers
But while getting busted by television cameras taking a swig of your mom's Coors Light when you're only nine years old is a great way to make viewers at home giggle, it's also a great way for you and your mother to make an acquaintance with the fine folks down at child services.
@bustedcoverage Watch a kid drink a coors light tall boy at a brewers game pic.twitter.com/3tdIEk46Rt
- ROMO (@Romo242424) August 2, 2015
The Cubs swept the Brew Crew at Miller Park over the weekend, and Milwaukee has now lost 10 of its last 12 games. In fact, things are so bad in Milwaukee this year that it looks like the only thing that can temporarily take people's minds off of their shitty baseball team is a child drinking beer.
h/t Busted Coverage
Getting busted downing the Silver Bullet as a minor on live TV is still way better than this clown: House Of Lords Speaker John Sewel Caught In Cocaine Sex Party With Hookers
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Giant Inflatable Minion Wreaks Havoc For Commuters In Dublin
Those damn Minions just love causing trouble.
Yesterday in the Santry area of north Dublin, Ireland, a huge inflatable Minion got loose due to high winds and went on a wild ride.
![giant inflatable minion, inflatable minion loose in ireland]()
Reaching heights of 30 to 40 feet, the giant Minion bounced along until it finally stopped on the road where police were able to catch it and let the air out. Nobody was hurt, but one driver did get a side mirror knocked off. Other than that, it was just a little bit of traffic chaos, brought on by the banana-shaped masters of such a thing. Little bastards.
![minions, minions gif]()
Via Mashable
Yesterday in the Santry area of north Dublin, Ireland, a huge inflatable Minion got loose due to high winds and went on a wild ride.
Reaching heights of 30 to 40 feet, the giant Minion bounced along until it finally stopped on the road where police were able to catch it and let the air out. Nobody was hurt, but one driver did get a side mirror knocked off. Other than that, it was just a little bit of traffic chaos, brought on by the banana-shaped masters of such a thing. Little bastards.
Via Mashable
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Today's Funny Photos
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These Break Up Letters From Kids Prove That Kids Hold Nothing Back
Kids are incredibly honest sometimes. Plain and simple. They have no problem telling you what they think about you and most of the time it cuts deeper than anything any adult can say. And since honesty is key in any relationship, the breakup letters from kids below show that kids aren't worried about hurting feelings, they just want to get straight to the point.
![Break Up Letter From Kids, Funny Kid Break Up Letters]()
Should have gone with those "Happy Anniversary but I'm breaking up with you" Hallmark cards.
![Funny Break Up Letters From Kids, Break Up Letters]()
Remove the source of stress from your life. This kid keeps it more simpler than most adults.
![Funny Break Up Letters From Kids, Break Up Letters]()
Doesn't sound like she's too eager to get lawyers involved.
![Funny Break Up Letters From Kids, Break Up Letters]()
He's about to get a verbally bashed by Alexa's mother.
![Funny Break Up Letters From Kids, Break Up Letters]()
My advice to you Valerie is to get away. Fast.
![Funny Break Up Letters From Kids, Break Up Letters]()
This is how Romeo and Juliet started.
![Funny Break Up Letters From Kids, Break Up Letters]()
I guess a sense of humor is important.
![Funny Break Up Letters From Kids, Break Up Letters]()
Sounds like Ashley found room in her schedule to dump Kyle.
![Funny Break Up Letters From Kids, Break Up Letters]()
The ironic part is that married couples sometimes prefer not talking for months.
![Funny Break Up Letters From Kids, Break Up Letters]()
Don't worry, Alexander. Your bros are loyal regardless.
Via Distractify
Should have gone with those "Happy Anniversary but I'm breaking up with you" Hallmark cards.
Remove the source of stress from your life. This kid keeps it more simpler than most adults.
Doesn't sound like she's too eager to get lawyers involved.
He's about to get a verbally bashed by Alexa's mother.
My advice to you Valerie is to get away. Fast.
This is how Romeo and Juliet started.
I guess a sense of humor is important.
Sounds like Ashley found room in her schedule to dump Kyle.
The ironic part is that married couples sometimes prefer not talking for months.
Don't worry, Alexander. Your bros are loyal regardless.
Via Distractify
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10 Stories of Cops Being Utterly Awesome
If you've been paying attention to the news lately, it can pretty easy to hate law enforcement. Well, as a red-blooded steak-munching American, I simply refuse. The world would be a shitty place without cops. That's just the truth.
In an ideal world, these would be stories you see on the front-page news. In today's world, you come home after a stressful day at work and run into run negativity being pumped into your brain by the mainstream news. Almost all of these stories happened in the last few months, proving that good cops don't just happen - they're everywhere.
Kansas Cop Cites Struggling Mom for Shoplifting, Buys Her What She Needed Anyways
![Cops Being Awesome, Great Stories About Cops]()
Mother of six Sarah Robinson was caught at a Walmart in Kansas two weeks ago trying to shoplift basic necessities for her daughters. The police were called, and one officer, Mark Engravalle, asked about Robinson's life.
"I had lost my house and all of our belongings, and I don't have a job ... so I went to Walmart, grabbed clothes, shoes, diapers, wipes, and I just walked out, but they caught me."
Engravalle also saw that a few of her children were walking barefoot with dirty feet. Once he released Robinson with a citation for misdemeanor theft, he went inside Walmart with the girls and bought what she needed, including pairs of shoes for the girls. He spent $300 in total.
Officer Fixes Kid's Bike (Free of Charge)
![Cops Being Awesome, Great Stories About Cops]()
One sunny Saturday Officer Cody Remy saw a boy trying to fix his bike from his cruiser. He stopped and went to lend a hand. Unknown to Remy, a resident in a neighboring complex was watching and snapped a picture of the good deed.
Cop Buys Teenager Bed, TV, Desk, Chair, and Wii
![Cops Being Awesome, Great Stories About Cops]()
The Sumter police department in South Carolina received a call from a boy who was angry and distraught. The 13-year-old wanted to leave home after a fight with his mother. When Officer Gaetano Acerra went to the teen's house, he noticed that he didn't have a bed and essentially none of the things a boy of his age should have.
He returned a few weeks later with a literal truckload of stuff: A bed, TV, desk, chair, and Wii game. "The kid was in tears," Acerra said. "He was just in shock, so happy."
Yes, Cameron Simmons, the boy, struck gold due to the kindness of a cop. "My heart went out for him. I thought the little things that he needed I could give him, to make him a happier kid." He also bought a few things for Simmons's older brother.
They remain buds to this day.
Police Mow Elderly Woman's Lawn
![Cops Being Awesome, Great Stories Being Awesome]()
Officers drove by the home of an elderly Georgia resident who was mowing her lawn. A few hours later they drove by again and saw she was still at it. They stopped and spoke with her, learning of her late husband who took great pride in their lawn, and of her struggles mowing it herself since his passing. So they took matters into their own hands.
This isn't the first time cops have mowed citizens' lawns, evidenced by this story out of New Mexico.
Video Goes Viral of Police Playing Football With Kids in Rough Neighborhood
In late June officers were on an assignment to make sure drug dealers they cleared from a Chicago neighborhood weren't back in town. With time to kill, they hit up the neighborhood kids for a game of catch.
In the video one officer can be seen throwing a football and another giving a boy his intercom. "We really is having fun with police," one boy shouted into it. The man behind the camera, Minister Tim Freeman, had this to say: "Everybody says the police are bad. I don't think so." The video has since received nearly 7 million views.
One Week After 18-Year-Old's Parents Are Killed, Cop Does Something Spectacular
![Cops Being Awesome, Great Stories About Cops]()
In May, a couple were killed by a drunk driver in Orange, Texas. Officer Eric Ellison arrived to the scene and discovered they were parents of five. He was tasked with the job of telling their next of kin of the tragedy.
Kazzie Portie, 18, was about to graduate from high school the following week, and Ellison found him alone at the residence when he told him the news.
One week later when Portie walked the graduation stage, he was met with Ellison at the other end. They hugged, cried, and the world cried with them. Portie received a standing ovation, and he said that Ellison standing at the end of the stage "meant the world to him."
Snowball Fight!
Snow was falling in Raleigh, NC. An officer with the police department, JD Boyd, posted a status on Facebook: "Community snowball fight, anyone?" He showed up at the local park and a snowy melee ensued with kids pummeling Boyd with their very own brand of justice.
Officer Pays $400 Restaurant Tab for Family After Son Dies
![Cops Being Awesome, Great Stories Of Cops Being Awesome]()
An unfortunate car accident took the life of a Massachusetts teenager on New Year's Day. After the wake, friends and family of Patrick Sullivan went to a restaurant and incurred a large tab. When they weren't looking, a nameless policeman paid the bill and left. His name is Sgt. Greg Pigeon, and he declined interviews with the media, only leaving the detail that he himself was devastated to hear about the boy's untimely death.
Cops Recover Elderly Man's Wedding Band After He Sold It for Groceries
![Cops Being Awesome, Great Stories About Cops]()
In Ontario, Canada, police responded to a domestic dispute call. Turns out the wife just had dementia. They learned that her husband was struggling to keep them afloat, and that he recently sold his wedding ring to pay for groceries.
Saddened, the cops went out to find it. "We put money together, and found out where he did sell his wedding band, and we bought it back." An inscription on the ring said, 'Together forever.'
Officer Donates Over $3,000 To Pay For Child's Funeral
![Cope Being Awesome, Great Stories About Cops]()
Isaiah Bird, 10, was beloved by everyone. He came down with a flu two days before Christmas, and when he entered Walgreens to get medication, he collapsed on the floor and died. Struck by the incident, Rick Redmond, who arrived to the scene, put $3,270 of his own money to pay for the funeral.
Said Redmond: "It's the people around you. It's my partners on the police department. It's the community that I take care of - those people matter to me. I love this job so much. I love being able to help people. I wouldn't want to do any different job in the world."
In an ideal world, these would be stories you see on the front-page news. In today's world, you come home after a stressful day at work and run into run negativity being pumped into your brain by the mainstream news. Almost all of these stories happened in the last few months, proving that good cops don't just happen - they're everywhere.
Kansas Cop Cites Struggling Mom for Shoplifting, Buys Her What She Needed Anyways
Mother of six Sarah Robinson was caught at a Walmart in Kansas two weeks ago trying to shoplift basic necessities for her daughters. The police were called, and one officer, Mark Engravalle, asked about Robinson's life.
"I had lost my house and all of our belongings, and I don't have a job ... so I went to Walmart, grabbed clothes, shoes, diapers, wipes, and I just walked out, but they caught me."
Engravalle also saw that a few of her children were walking barefoot with dirty feet. Once he released Robinson with a citation for misdemeanor theft, he went inside Walmart with the girls and bought what she needed, including pairs of shoes for the girls. He spent $300 in total.
Officer Fixes Kid's Bike (Free of Charge)
One sunny Saturday Officer Cody Remy saw a boy trying to fix his bike from his cruiser. He stopped and went to lend a hand. Unknown to Remy, a resident in a neighboring complex was watching and snapped a picture of the good deed.
Cop Buys Teenager Bed, TV, Desk, Chair, and Wii
The Sumter police department in South Carolina received a call from a boy who was angry and distraught. The 13-year-old wanted to leave home after a fight with his mother. When Officer Gaetano Acerra went to the teen's house, he noticed that he didn't have a bed and essentially none of the things a boy of his age should have.
He returned a few weeks later with a literal truckload of stuff: A bed, TV, desk, chair, and Wii game. "The kid was in tears," Acerra said. "He was just in shock, so happy."
Yes, Cameron Simmons, the boy, struck gold due to the kindness of a cop. "My heart went out for him. I thought the little things that he needed I could give him, to make him a happier kid." He also bought a few things for Simmons's older brother.
They remain buds to this day.
Police Mow Elderly Woman's Lawn
Officers drove by the home of an elderly Georgia resident who was mowing her lawn. A few hours later they drove by again and saw she was still at it. They stopped and spoke with her, learning of her late husband who took great pride in their lawn, and of her struggles mowing it herself since his passing. So they took matters into their own hands.
This isn't the first time cops have mowed citizens' lawns, evidenced by this story out of New Mexico.
Video Goes Viral of Police Playing Football With Kids in Rough Neighborhood
In late June officers were on an assignment to make sure drug dealers they cleared from a Chicago neighborhood weren't back in town. With time to kill, they hit up the neighborhood kids for a game of catch.
In the video one officer can be seen throwing a football and another giving a boy his intercom. "We really is having fun with police," one boy shouted into it. The man behind the camera, Minister Tim Freeman, had this to say: "Everybody says the police are bad. I don't think so." The video has since received nearly 7 million views.
One Week After 18-Year-Old's Parents Are Killed, Cop Does Something Spectacular
In May, a couple were killed by a drunk driver in Orange, Texas. Officer Eric Ellison arrived to the scene and discovered they were parents of five. He was tasked with the job of telling their next of kin of the tragedy.
Kazzie Portie, 18, was about to graduate from high school the following week, and Ellison found him alone at the residence when he told him the news.
One week later when Portie walked the graduation stage, he was met with Ellison at the other end. They hugged, cried, and the world cried with them. Portie received a standing ovation, and he said that Ellison standing at the end of the stage "meant the world to him."
Snowball Fight!
Snow was falling in Raleigh, NC. An officer with the police department, JD Boyd, posted a status on Facebook: "Community snowball fight, anyone?" He showed up at the local park and a snowy melee ensued with kids pummeling Boyd with their very own brand of justice.
Officer Pays $400 Restaurant Tab for Family After Son Dies
An unfortunate car accident took the life of a Massachusetts teenager on New Year's Day. After the wake, friends and family of Patrick Sullivan went to a restaurant and incurred a large tab. When they weren't looking, a nameless policeman paid the bill and left. His name is Sgt. Greg Pigeon, and he declined interviews with the media, only leaving the detail that he himself was devastated to hear about the boy's untimely death.
Cops Recover Elderly Man's Wedding Band After He Sold It for Groceries
In Ontario, Canada, police responded to a domestic dispute call. Turns out the wife just had dementia. They learned that her husband was struggling to keep them afloat, and that he recently sold his wedding ring to pay for groceries.
Saddened, the cops went out to find it. "We put money together, and found out where he did sell his wedding band, and we bought it back." An inscription on the ring said, 'Together forever.'
Officer Donates Over $3,000 To Pay For Child's Funeral
Isaiah Bird, 10, was beloved by everyone. He came down with a flu two days before Christmas, and when he entered Walgreens to get medication, he collapsed on the floor and died. Struck by the incident, Rick Redmond, who arrived to the scene, put $3,270 of his own money to pay for the funeral.
Said Redmond: "It's the people around you. It's my partners on the police department. It's the community that I take care of - those people matter to me. I love this job so much. I love being able to help people. I wouldn't want to do any different job in the world."
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