Paula Deen was abducted by aliens in June 2013 after a series of incidents that led to her dismissal from the Food Network. Before the abduction, an employee filed a suit against her saying alleging racial discrimination (Deen said the dream wedding for her brother would involve a plantation and black guests dressed in proper Southern gentleman attire.) She further revealed she once used the N-word - which wasn't 'nutmeg' mind you - and vanished from planet Earth.
Michael "Kramer" Richards
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One fateful night, Michael Richards was performing at the Laugh Factory in Los Angeles. Unbeknownst to the crowd, racist aliens implanted a microchip in his head which caused him to fire forth a litany of anti-black slurs. Everyone in the known galaxy gasped in horror, and Richards was subsequently deemed persona non grata in the Milky Way.
A few days later, still under the spell of the alien implant, he went on the Late Show with David Letterman and apologized to "Afro-Americans." (Yes, he said Afro-Americans.) Everyone laughed because they had no idea about the microchip, and after the show a bright light sucked him into outer space where he joined Paula Deen on Planet Shame.
Rick Moranis
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Back in the day, Rick Moranis was everyone's favorite dork. He starred in "Little Giants," "The Flintstones," and "Honey, I Shrunk the Kids" until he disappeared from Hollywood somewhere around 1997. Moranis claimed the loss of his wife to cancer and single parenthood weighed too much on him, leading to his retirement from films.
Amanda Bynes
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A beautiful face and some big-time acting gigs shot Amanda Bynes into the limelight. At the ripe age of 20, it seemed fame was inevitable, but "She's the Man" wouldn't be enough. After a DUI, two hit-and-runs, driving with a suspended license, possession of marijuana, tampering with the evidence, starting a fire in someone's yard and a second DUI, she was promptly placed in the loony bin.
In 2014 Bynes claimed that her father implanted a microchip in her brain. But you can't fool us, Amanda. We know someone else did it. Cough, cough.
Kel Mitchell
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Remember "Good Burger?" We don't want to, either.
Kel Mitchell vanished without a trace sometime after "Mystery Men" in 1999. He has since been in such D-list films as "Stupid Hype" and "Dance Flu" as recently as 2012, but some speculate it's actually an extraterrestrial playing Kel Mitchell in a Kel Mitchell skin suit, as no self-respecting human would be caught dead in a film called "Stupid Hype" or "Dance Flu."
Mel Gibson
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Gibson was abducted sometime after making "The Passion of the Christ." Once they brought him back to Earth, something was different about him. He now hated Jews and was nuttier than squirrel turds. He left
hilariously crazy recordings on his Russian wife's answering machine and in 2012 wrote "Get the Gringo," which some allege to be an allegory about his time on the martian spaceship.
Tila Tequila
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Like many celebrities, Ms. Tequila lived by the social media sword and died by the social media sword. She attracted millions of followers on MySpace with semi-nudes and went to host her own reality show, "A Shot of Love with Tila Tequila." But a decade later she would write an article called "
Why I Sympathize with Hitler" and was abducted by aliens shortly thereafter. Mark Zuckerberg shut down her Facebook account, probably personally, and she was never heard from again.
Bridget Fonda
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Fonda was kidnapped by aliens after starring in 1999's "Lake Placid." Costar Bill Pullman went with her. Although Pullman has returned has he will be part of the "Independence Day" sequel. Figures.
Devon Sawa
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Remember this heartthrob? Well, he ain't a heartthrob no more.
Sawa became every American girl's fantasy after he starred in films such as "Little Giants," "Casper," and "Wild America." But as luck would have it, he would age, and the talent that granted him unfathomable fame (and millions of teenage undies in the mail) dissipated sometime after "Final Destination." Ironic. He also
beat the shit out of his girlfriend and that had something to do with it.
Kevin Federline
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With one utterly aneurism-inducing rap album under his belt, the personality of a tree stump, and small roles in Z-list movies that don't even deserve a Razzie, aliens came to probe useless peckerwood Kevin Federline to see exactly how he managed to achieve a
$6 million net worth.
Hulk Hogan
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On Friday, June 24, aliens snatched the Hulk and took him to space. They
erased every trace of him and left a tape that revealed his racial opinions so that nobody would miss him.
