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Watch Will Ferrell And Mark Wahlberg Insult The Hell Out Of Each Other

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Mark Wahlberg probably isn't a guy you want to insult since he always looks like someone just cut him in line and he's strongly considering beating them to a pulp, but when it's Will Ferrell doing the insulting it's hard not to laugh along.

Will and Mark appeared on Scott Mills' radio show on BBC Radio 1 and were pitted against each other in the Playground Insults game. Both actors trade jabs trying to make each other laugh, with one actor getting a slight edge with his fantastic insults. Check out the hilarious video below:


Although something tells me Mark wouldn't have been laughing if Will mentioned the words "Marky Mark."

Try these tomorrow: Passive-Aggressive Holiday Insult Generator

 

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These Guys' Santa Photos Through The Years Are Quite Telling Of Our Attention Spans

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At first glance, these photos appear to be nothing more than two dudes taking funny pictures with Santa every year. But what starts out as random silliness quickly evolves (or perhaps devolves) into social commentary on what was popular during the time each photo was taken. From "Jersey Shore" to LMFAO for some reason, you will be able to look back on these pictures for years to come and shake your head at what a bunch of pop culture consuming morons we all are. Kudos to one of the jolliest mall Santas we've ever seen, though.

2007
santa photos through the years, yearly santa photo

2008
santa photos through the years, yearly santa photo

2009
santa photos through the years, yearly santa photo

2010
santa photos through the years, yearly santa photo

2011
santa photos through the years, yearly santa photo

2012
santa photos through the years, yearly santa photo

2013
santa photos through the years, yearly santa photo

2014
santa photos through the years, yearly santa photo

2015
santa photos through the years, yearly santa photo

(via Imgur)

While we're on the subject of things that will blow over: Canadian Mom Takes Breastfeeding Pic With Santa, Internet Goes Nuts

 

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Draya Michele Knows A Thing Or Two About Driving You Crazy

11 Unlikely By-products Of Chronic Masturbation

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byproducts of chronic masturbation, chronic masturbation health

Sometimes it feels like the fastest way to happiness is a laptop and a tissue. And that's the problem with our society. It has become so ensconced in sex that even the lewdest, crudest visual stimuli is virtually everywhere. But is that a good thing? Arguably, it isn't. Especially if you've taken to extreme masturbation as a way to cope, there are a few reasons why it may be in your best interest to ease off.

Making eye contact becomes increasingly difficult.
So say numerous testimonies from the infamous Reddit page NoFap (yes, there's an entire community dedicated to people who have quit masturbating and document their progress for everyone to see). Science also suggests that "over-masturbation," as it's dubbed in the empirical world, puts the body in a stressed state. This causes your system to go into overdrive to produce sperm. Anxiety, in public and private, may be an unwanted result.

Your significant other begins to look piggish.
byproducts of chronic masturbation, chronic masturbation health
It's no coincidence that the increasing popularity of porn and movies such as "50 Shades of Grey" put pressure on couples to measure up. Psychosexual therapist Cate Campbell says, "Noticing what is going well, rather than dwelling on problems, is quite difficult when we're bombarded with messages of how sex ought to be." In other words, if you're used to the nastiest shit the Internet has to offer, you might end up thinking your significant other is vanilla in the sack. And that's bad news for everyone.

In your brain, you're inseminating thousands of hot women, but you're really just lonely.
As someone a lot more intelligent than me once said, you see more hot naked women in one minute online than your great-grandfather did in his entire life. So when in comes to masturbation and porn, common sense dictates that your brain tricks itself into thinking you're a sexual god, which may inhibit your social life (i.e. going out and finding girls).

With every dopamine release post-orgasm, you're telling your subconscious that you just had sex with an ultra-hottie. This may cause your willpower to erode. Consider, as well, that with each dopamine release, your addiction only grows stronger.

Your grandpappy was right about it making you blind -- almost.
To an extent, the old adage rings true. Chronic masturbation is linked to worsened vision. For many men who can't keep their hand off themselves, blurred vision and eye floaters are a common problem. Health professionals say "excessive sexual activity or masturbation causes oxidative stress," which can damage the inner layer of the eye. Deficiencies in neurochemicals that produce healthy eyes are an occasional result.

It makes your arm tired (and other parts of your body, as well).
byproducts of chronic masturbation, chronic masturbation health
"Are we the first generation to masturbate left-handed?" Gary Wilson, a porn researcher and physiologist, cheekily inquired at a TED Talk. Humor aside, adrenal fatigue is a real result of heavy self-petting. The stress hormone cortisol is overproduced when you masturbate a ton, and this causes a type of chronic fatigue, differing from that caused by poor diet or lack of sleep. So, if you're wondering how to automatically gain a dose of energy that'll last throughout the day, take the abuse down a notch.

Your noodle gets limp.
If there's anything that'll motivate a frequent fapper to stop, it's the fear of erectile dysfunction. Head of the Italian Society of Andrology and Sexual Medicine. Dr. Carlo Foresta says, "It starts with lower reactions to porn sites. Then there is a general drop in libido, and in the end it becomes impossible to get an erection."

In other words, over time you begin to send weaker and weaker signals to your member. Eventually, that brain-to-phallus communication becomes so muddled that your penis struggles to erect itself. How's that for incentive?

Your other head may go bald.
byproducts of chronic masturbation, chronic masturbation health
Chronic beatin' alters your testosterone levels, and more precisely, your DHT (an androgen whose imbalance can effect hair follicles and their roots). After many sessions, chemicals that are necessary for a healthy scalp deteriorate. It's simply fact. Of course, this is not to say that every bald person on the street is secretly a YouPorn addict.

You get leaky.
Seminal leakage is sometimes a result of extreme masturbation. Not to be confused with premature ejaculation, these leaks happen because your sperm doors won't close. As one men's health expert said, "This is a sign that the nerve keeping the ejaculation valve shut is weakening because of excessive use or over-stimulation." Got a leak? Now you know how to fix it.

Your testosterone levels fall to that of an eight-year-old girl.
byproducts of chronic masturbation, chronic masturbation health
Well, maybe not quite that bad, but still pretty bad. A study at Hangzhou Normal University in China found that testosterone levels in healthy males peak "after seven days without ejaculation." The more you ejaculate, the less testosterone you have. Another way of saying this would be that the more you climax, the less of a manly man you are.

The bathroom at work becomes harder to turn down.
Chronic masturbation is like any addiction. Whether it's gambling, alcohol dependency or something else, spanking it like it's going out of style may spill into your professional life. Best to keep an eye on your habits, because you never know what they're saying about you at the water cooler.

You lose your mind.
Slapping the ham to excess increases the chance of altering your brain chemistry. Studies show that prolific masturbators showcase lower levels of acetylcholine, a neurotransmitter used to send signals to other cells. The hippocampus has also proven to become slightly impaired. If you'd like increased memory and concentration, try not to sin so much. It may save your life.

 

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The Top 10 Penis Stories Of 2015

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A 19-inch penis. Food that looked like a penis. A baby pig born with some kind of penis on its head. I'm telling you, 2015 was simply the "Year of the Penis." Seriously, we ran somewhere in the neighborhood of 50 penis stories in 2015, but for the sake of your time and our sanity, we're going to return to just 20 percent of them.

In no particular order, here are our choices for the top 10 penis stories of 2015. Hold on tight.

Chinese Woman Cuts Off Cheating Husband's Penis...Twice
The Top 10 Penis Stories Of 2015
The year got off to one hell of a start for some poor bastard in China named Fan Lung when his wife found emails on her phone that he was sending to his side piece. When Fan turned in for the night, his wife seized the opportunity and sliced off his pecker. He was rushed to the hospital, where doctors were thankfully able to sew the little guy back on. But shortly thereafter, his wife once again gave his pork sword the old chop. She never got a third chance, though, because doctors couldn't find Lung's penis this time around, as it was likely eaten by a stray dog or cat.

Baby Pig Born With A Penis On His Head
The Top 10 Penis Stories Of 2015
Human beings give birth to dickheads all the time. Hell, my grandma birthed seven of them. But some poor piglet made headlines in 2015 because he was born with a penis literally growing out of his head. The good news was that this little pig was hung like a horse. The bad news, again, was that it was a huge penis that was growing out of his damn head.

British Man Born Without A Penis Says He's Bagged More Than 100 Women
The Top 10 Penis Stories Of 2015
This was pretty much the exact opposite of a piglet being born with a dick on his head, as here we had a 39-year-old Stalybridge man telling the world that he was born without a penis, well, anywhere on his body. Andrew Wardle was born with the berries but no twig due to a condition that arose after he was born with his bladder on the outside of his body. Yet despite lacking a boomstick, Wardle claimed that he still managed to have sex with more than 100 women. Wardle got his own show on TLC titled "The Man Without A Penis" and even better, a penis created by science that's on the verge of working like any other man's. In the meantime, I'll continue to disagree with his definition of "having sex."

Mexican Man Born With 19-inch Penis Says It Makes Him Handicapped
The Top 10 Penis Stories Of 2015
I believe Andrew Wardle would vehemently disagree with his assessment, but Roberto Esquivel Cabrera told reporters in August that his massive 19-inch dong was wrecking his life. Cabrera said his giant hog, which also boasts a circumference of damn near 10 inches, left him in a dismal state and unable to work. Although we're pretty sure if Cabrera gave Larry Flynt a call, he'd put him to work right away.

Woman Sets Cheating Boyfriend's Penis On Fire

I guess if you're looking at this with a "glass half full" perspective, then hey, at least she didn't cut it off and allow it to be eaten by a stray dog or cat. Still, we can't imagine many scenarios that would warrant taking a BBQ lighter to your boo's giggle stick. But that's exactly what happened to this dude after his girlfriend found out he was cheating on her. I get that he shouldn't have been cheating on her, but damn, lady, throw his Batman glass out of the window or something instead of lighting his manhood on fire.

Unlicensed Florida Surgeon Arrested For Mangling Man's Penis
The Top 10 Penis Stories Of 2015
In what was perhaps the most disturbing story since Lil Wayne announced he was going to drop another record, a 55-year-old hairdresser in Florida wanted a bigger penis and that somehow led to him meeting Mark D. Schreiber in a warehouse for a "surgery." Naturally, that warehouse operation went horribly wrong. According to the warrant, "the victim's penis was now incredibly small, yet very swollen and the skin around the shaft had been removed and was raw. The victim stated that his penis had retracted so far that it protruded less than one inch from his body." When the hairdresser reached out to Schreiber for the ol' "What the hell?" conversation, the unlicensed surgeon told him it was all his fault for wanting a bigger penis. And that kids, is pretty much the story of why Grandpa Mark won't be with us this Christmas.

Irish Dude Snaps Penis While Having Sex With His Girlfriend
The Top 10 Penis Stories Of 2015
It's sounds like Alan Parke was taking his girlfriend to pound town and then some earlier this year, as during the intense sexcapade, Parke literally broke his penis. "We were just having sex," Parke said. "I was on the bottom and Clarissa was on top. All of a sudden I heard something snap. I've never known pain like this, it was absolutely excruciating. There's no bone in there but I was still told it was a fracture. There was blood everywhere, I couldn't control it." Maybe it's just me, but that's exactly what I imagine sex with Hillary Clinton would be like.

Justin Bieber's Penis And The Internet Reactions That Followed
The Top 10 Penis Stories Of 2015
The biggest story on the planet in October had nothing to do with what's shaking in Syria. Actually, it was pretty much the exact opposite of that, as some pervert snapped a photo of a buck naked Justin Bieber while he was on vacation in Bora Bora. Bieb's dick pic damn near broke the Internet, as millions of people took to Twitter and Facebook to comment on it, including Justin's dad, who asked, "What do you feed that thing?" That's actually pretty funny. And gross.

A Giant Penis Sprayed Confetti On People In An Effort To Promote Safe Sex
The Top 10 Penis Stories Of 2015
They say that Norwegians are some of the happiest people on the planet, so maybe that's why they were able to just laugh it off when a giant foam penis ejaculated golden confetti onto their club sandwiches in an effort to promote wrapping it up before sexing her up. It was definitely a unique campaign, and we're not knocking their creativity, but I'd personally be asking them to refund whatever I dropped on lunch because let's be honest: I'm no longer hungry.

Buffalo Chicken Finger Looks A Lot Like A Penis
The Top 10 Penis Stories Of 2015
And speaking of no longer having an appetite, either somebody at Tyson's was extremely bored earlier this year, or this is the biggest coincidence in the history of mankind. A Buffalo chicken tender that looks more like it could be Ernie from Sesame Street's dick than an edible menu item? No thanks. I'll have the salad this time around.

Speaking of dicks, monkeys in India murdered a priest this year: The 10 Craziest Crime Stories Of 2015

 

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Top 10 Movie Party Scenes To Help You Party Harder (And Therefore Better)

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Anyone who's had his blue suede shoes puked on before midnight knows that New Year's Eve is traditionally Amateur's Night. It's when all the rookies who don't keep in year-round, well-lubed party shape end up peacing out in embarrassingly early fashion. Don't be that guy. That guy sucks. Be the cool guy this New Year's. Be the life of the party. Be the guy who throws down hardest, who stays up latest, who breaks the most shit, and who maybe even has some group sex.

In order to help you on your way, here are 10 of the greatest party scenes in all of filmdom, and the lessons you can glean to someday earn your own Party-Pro card. Now go out there and rock this New Year's like Frank the Tank, Bluto, Thornton Melon and the rest of these guys who dared to show the world what it looks like to have real fun.

"Animal House"

When I was a drunken teen, before I became a drunken has-been, I threw a few of the best parties my high school has ever known. Whenever I see friends from that bygone era, they always have a foggy memory of one of those soirees, and I can see that glint of sadness in their eyes knowing they'll never have quite that much fun again. If you want to make your future friends look that sad, learn how to throw a party from the masters. And though it may seem old school at this point, you really should start with a toga party; you're just that much closer to nakedness, right from the get-go. Pour beer on top of anything and it's already more fun, throw beer on top of chicks in sheets and a funky soul band, and you got magic. It's also good to remember to always party in the face of adversity; as Eric "Otter" Stratton wisely states, upon hearing about the Delta house's imminent double secret probation: "They're gonna nail us no matter what we do, so we might as well have a good time. Toga... toga... toga..."

"Back to School"
The Top 10 Movie Party Scenes To Help You Party Harder (And Therefore Better)
Thornton Melon understands, any party with Oingo Boingo—fronted by "The Simpsons" (and most everything else) composer Danny Elfman—is a better party than the party without. Interesting that such a connection should be the first thing that pops in my brain about this transformative film, considering I've based a good deal of my philosophy on Melon's own. Yet the first thing I recall is the band. So maybe that's the lesson here: a good band makes all the difference. Honestly, you don't even need a band. Just stellar tunes, played at the right times, always with the group in mind, always stoking the fires of dance. Getting twisted and dancing to "Dead Man's Party" with hot twisted girls is the greatest thing that ever happened to these kids. And rightly so. Melon is blowing minds, at college, where minds are meant to be so enhanced. That's what a good party can be; the place dreams are made of, where imagination can take hold, where your Longfellow can get straightened out. So stoke those fires. Build "intellectual curiosity," and if you can do so while also pulling off a silk robe, hot tub Nirvana is possible.

"Almost Famous"
The Top 10 Movie Party Scenes To Help You Party Harder (And Therefore Better)
Lesson No. 1: pool parties are generally more fun. Lesson No. 2: while partying, "hang with good people" in bathing suits who like to smoke "righteous weed," and your likelihood of having a good time will increase exponentially. Lesson No. 3: go on an adventure, let the universe (and drugs) be your guide; if someone asks you to watch their snake being fed, you crank up some Black Sabbath and watch! And Lesson No. 4: if you're going to have anyone jump off the roof into your pool, always have them sign a waiver indemnifying the homeowner of responsibility first. (Well, that last lesson is free advice from my dad, and not actually in the movie, but a good lesson none-the-less.) Oh, and Lesson No. 5: always listen to your new friends when they tell you to jump.

"Great Gatsby"
he Top 10 Movie Party Scenes To Help You Party Harder (And Therefore Better)
If only the ideal of the trickle down economy came under Baz Luhrmann's direction. In Baz's world, all you need is money, lots and lots of money. In my experience, old money is really the best kind for partying. Those guys are the real dirt bags of the bunch, who really know how to party. When you get the old guard's guard down, you get some of the most dubious depravity around. So I guess what I'm saying is you should party with rich people, they can afford to have more fun.

"Old School"
The Top 10 Movie Party Scenes To Help You Party Harder (And Therefore Better)
Lesson #1: continue partying with the guys you grew up with, well into your 30s, it can only be productive. Lesson No. 2: if you're throwing a party, be sure to name it; Mitchapalooza isn't just legendary because of the events that went down, it's because people share a common language with which to refer to such momentous tomfoolery, it's the verbal essence of a hashtag. Lesson No. 3: feed your Frank. If you have a wild one like Frank the Tank inside you, you owe it to the world to let him out. At least do one funnel, just to make sure you've still got it. And if that should happen to unleash the inner Tank, love that inner Tank, and follow him naked to the quad.

"PCU"

There's a lot to learn from Droz, Gutter and the rest of the Pit dwellers. First of all, it's to not take anything too seriously, except perhaps for having fun. Take fun seriously. Fight for your right to party, as three wise men once said. And when the Man (or Womyn) tries to keep you down, you make even more spectacular fun. Which is perfectly expressed in the clip above, when Jeremy Piven eloquently poetizes what the world of PCU is longing for, and what the world in general could really use at this point: a healthy dose of beer and sex.

"Revenge of the Nerds"

When in doubt, wonder joints really do tend to lighten the mood. That's not just movie magic right there, folks, that's truth. Yes, I'm totally condoning weed. I don't care how dorky you think you are, inside you, there's a funky motherfunker, just waiting to cold kick it live. Weed is a great way to get in touch with that. Just look at Poindexter's hips after he smokes a little doobie and allows Michael Jackson to enter his bloodstream. He turns into a veritable party animal, with moves that make the coeds take note. So the lesson here is: smoke weed and you'll be cool. Got it?

"Superbad"

Roll with it. If something kinda weird goes down, just let it be. Accept that partying comes with certain unexpected outcomes, which are all part of the adventure, and move on. Say, "rock 'n' fucking roll," and move on. Jonah Hill gets this half right during the party scene in "Superbad," when he rolls with the vibe and dances with a desirous woman who likes to call him "Big Poppa." But then he screws it up. Imagine if Jonah had just let it roll after getting a little period blood on his leg, instead of reacting like he'd just gotten period blood on his leg. Peace would have happened. That girl's fiancée never finds out, and everyone just goes on partying happily. Sometimes saying fuck it" is really the pathway to peace. And peace, love and getting laid—even if it is that time of the month—is what partying is all about.

"The Wolf of Wall Street"
The Top 10 Movie Party Scenes To Help You Party Harder (And Therefore Better)
How was your office party this holiday season? Fun? Probably not, unless your office is one of those places like Stratton Oakmont which engages in "weekly acts of debauchery." If you're not shaving the heads of your co-workers at an office party, what are you doing? Is your company really doing it right? Are there naked marching bands and strippers at your office party? Has anyone in upper management thrown a midget lately? This is the kind of fun you're missing out on by staying at your boring job. Don't be afraid to judge your company by the office party they throw. If it ain't cool, it ain't cool. And if you're far cooler than everyone else there, then are you really in the right place? Also, Lesson No. 2: people on 'ludes should not drive.

"21 Jump Street"

As you can see in these last three entries, Jonah Hill gets proportionally less funny as he loses weight, but still, credit must be paid, the man has made it on this list three times now. So he has obviously taught us much over the years, and should be respected as a wise one. While the party lesson we learn from him in "Jump Street" isn't as difficult to grasp as some of the other ones, it's probably more important: while partying, never get stabbed.

 

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A Look Inside Beijing's Epic Pollution Problem

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A smogpocalypse is wreaking havoc in China. It seems after hosting the Olympics back in 2008, Beijing has let loose. With more than 20 million residents and an exploding economy, who couldn't have predicted an environmental catastrophe?

On December 7, 2015, China issued its first-ever red alert concerning air pollution. After a spike in respiratory illnesses in hospitals, officials finally cracked down. Beijing closed its schools for three days, ordered certain vehicles to drive every other day and issued a ban on fireworks and outdoor barbecues. Even government agencies were told to lay off the driving.

The culprit: a confluence of aggressive coal-burning, vehicle emissions and stagnant winter weather.

China emits the most greenhouse gases in the world.
beijing pollution problem, china pollution

They've promised to cut their peak emissions in half by 2030.
beijing pollution problem, china pollution
But I wouldn't hold my breath — pun intended.

Air pollution caused 1.2 million premature deaths in China in 2010.
beijing pollution problem, china pollution
And the Chinese are pissed. A cook by the name of Jia Xiaojiang put it this way: "The smog is like toxic gas. I never had a sore throat before, but since last year my throat's been hurting when I speak more." Quartz reported that Northern China was under a menacing cloud of pollution the size of California, which is roughly 205,000 square miles. "I'm used to the smog," said Beijing local Wolf Hu. "I'd find a day when the sky is blue unusual." When you're surprised to see blue in the sky, maybe it's time to buy a Hybrid.

In 2014, toxic small chemicals were 24 times the levels deemed safe.
beijing pollution problem, china pollution

The city of Beijing experienced 200 days of "unhealthy or worse" air conditions in 2014, with 21 days being called "hazardous."
beijing pollution problem, china pollution

The smog strikes swiftly and randomly.
beijing pollution problem, china pollution
Only a week after the first ever red alert, the government issued a second one last Thursday. China's national meteorological centre warned this would happen, saying another bout of smog would be "worse than the spell between Dec. 6 and 9. The photos below feature the same location, with one day's difference.

China has about as many cars as the U.S. has people.
beijing pollution problem, china pollution

The country burns almost as much coal as the rest of the world.
beijing pollution problem, china pollution
3.8 billion tons versus 4.2 billion tons, annually, to be exact.

76 percent of citizens think air pollution is a "big problem."
beijing pollution problem, china pollution

53 percent still think the problem will only get worse in the next five years, even with new regulations.
beijing pollution problem, china pollution
Does China need a savior like Al Gore? No. Nobody does. But disgruntled citizens en masse seem to be making the point that times need to change. At one time, it may have been thought that breathing a little bit of fumes was worth a rapidly expanding economy and potential global trade domination, but as Maroon 5 put it, "It's getting harder and harder to breathe."

Enterprising Canadians who jokingly came up with the idea of selling air are making a killing.
beijing pollution problem, china pollution

According to China's Environmental Ministry, only eight cities (in the whole country) meet air quality standards.
beijing pollution problem, china pollution

Still, people are attempting to cope.
beijing pollution problem, china pollution
Reporting from the Mandatory News Desk, this is Noah Henry wishing the entire country of China a fond zhù nǐ hǎo yùn.

beijing pollution problem, china pollution

 

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Here Are All The Leftover GIFs We Have From 2015

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We try to bring you only the funniest GIFs we can find every week. Unfortunately, this means that a ton of alternates and backups slip through the cracks. Until today, that is. Since this is our final roundup of 2015, we decided it was time to set some our leftovers free. Sure, they're a bit more out there than usual, but maybe you'll be shocked to find that a guy setting his own beard on fire tickles you more than you'd care to admit. Only one way to find out.

funny gifs, woman sneeze stomach
We always like to start things off sexy, yet funny. I think this covers the requirements.

funny gifs, old man ketchup
I guess everything does stop working properly as you get older.

funny gifs, cat kicks self
No way this fight's going all three rounds.

funny gifs, bowler slips falls
Not a bad dancer for a bowler.

funny gifs, kangaroo trampoline jump
Who knew that trampolines and kangaroos don't mix? They seemed like the perfect pair.

funny gifs, girl depantsed gym
This couldn't have gone more perfectly.

funny gifs, cat man nod
What a copycat.

funny gifs, man mustache tricks
Great, now my beard will never live up to expectations. Might as well shave it.

funny gifs, man lights beard
Or ... yeah, that's another option.

funny gifs, pug attacks bottles
That's the last time I let a dog use my bathroom.

funny gifs, wrecking ball teacher
I'll just put E = MileyCyrus2 on the test and hope for the best.


funny gifs, cork nutshot
And that's it for GIFs in 2015. Have a safe and happy new year!

 

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How To Be The Most Annoying Person At A Fast Food Drive-Thru

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How to Be the Most Annoying Person in a Fast Food Drive Thru

Have you ever been stuck in a drive-thru for an extended amount of time and you knew it was because the person in front of you is a complete idiot? Well, if you've ever wanted to be that person or maybe you fear that it might be you, here's a handy guide to let you know once and for all how to be the most annoying person at a fast food drive-thru.

Don't look at the menu until the last possible moment.
You know how they have those little preview menus to look at while you're waiting in line? Screw those things. You might not even open your eyes until someone asks to take your order. Also, it's McDonalds. They have cheeseburgers. They've always had cheeseburgers. Why does it take you so long to figure out which cheeseburger you want to eat?

How to Be the Most Annoying Person in a Fast Food Drive Thru

Look down at your phone so you don't notice when the car in front of you is moving forward.
There are 18 cars behind you waiting to get chicken sandwiches before lunch is over, but you haven't moved your car ahead despite everyone in front of you getting their already and taking it home because you're looking down at your Facebook timeline. Stop inviting people to play Pirate Adventures and look up while you're operating a motor vehicle, you ghoul.

"Ummmmmmmmm..."
Order your food like this:
Arby's: Can I take your order?
You: Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm can I get ummmmmmmmmmmmmmm a uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh numberrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr two? No wait. Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmm

They'll love that.

How to Be the Most Annoying Person in a Fast Food Drive Thru

Split your order 37 different ways.
Can you just put it all on one and have everyone else Venmo you? Nah. How about you have everyone in your car do a separate order and spend the next 25 minutes trying to figure out which card goes with which order and who got extra pickles on their burger. That's a good use of time and definitely not the most frustrating and annoying thing you could possibly do when ordering some Burger King.

How to Be the Most Annoying Person in a Fast Food Drive Thru

Don't get your money ready while waiting in line.
Forget paying with a card or having the cash ready as soon as you pull up to the window. Sure they told you the exact amount when you ordered and you had five minutes to prep, but no thanks. Instead you're going to wait until she tells you the total and you're going to start digging under your seat and in your cupholder for dimes and pennies so you can be sure to give them exact change. Guess what? It's not quicker when you have to go on a full expedition into the depths of your car to find a nickel.

Leave your music at full volume the whole time.
It's difficult enough to hear anything through that rusted tin can system that hasn't been repaired since the late '80s. You've decided to make it even more impossible by blasting Limp Bizkit's Greatest Hits while ordering a bunch of chicken. Why are you still listening to Limp Bizkit, anyway? There are more issues here than just your rude driving.

How to Be the Most Annoying Person in a Fast Food Drive Thru

Park as far away from the window as humanly possible.
Pull up to the second window and make sure your car is so far away the employee has to dangle out the window to grab each and every nickel from your sweaty, awful hand. Mr. Fantastic couldn't even hand you your beef n cheddar once you shift that bad boy into park.

How to Be the Most Annoying Person in a Fast Food Drive Thru

Leave your window rolled up and look away from it as much as possible.
Rolling it up is one thing, but you need to completely ignore anything going on outside of your car. Is that employee hanging out the window like it's the passenger side of her best friend's ride trying to holler at you and hand you your McNuggets? Sounds like a whole lot of someone else's problem. You've got radio stations to scroll through.

Complain a lot.
Make sure you freak out about something really dumb like a missing packet of salt or that a lot of people also came to Taco Bell the same time as you. That's definitely something this 17-year-old working a register can control. Maybe yell at him for the way the parking lot is laid out because he's probably a city planner as well. He makes the decisions around here.

Whatever this is.
How to Be the Most Annoying Person in a Fast Food Drive Thru

It's torture: The Nightmare Conversation You've Had At Every Fast Food Drive-Thru Window Ever

 

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Movie Prequels That May Or May Not Have Been A Good Idea

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Sometimes the plot of a movie is so riveting (or confusing) that it makes you wonder how the character got to that point [enter prequel]. With the prequel, we get a backstory into the life of our favorite protagonists and antagonists. Just remember that prequels, rarely good, are usually left out for a reason in the original. Now enjoy some of the best known prequels that may or may not have been a good idea, based on our top-notch, tried and true methods of cinematic paneling. Don't worry, we're not including "Easy Rider: The Ride Back," whose title makes no sense as a prequel.

"Indiana Jones & The Temple of Doom" (Good Idea)
Movie Prequels That May or May Not Have Been a Good Idea
Though it's no "Raiders of the Lost Ark," we quickly got a decent Indiana Jones prequel soon after, but it would still be awhile before the unnecessary sequels started rolling in decades later. Typically ranked as the worst of its trilogy, "Temple of Doom" is an exercise of solid '80s Spielberg/Lucas-style cinema. In an upbeat action adventure that prefaces "Raiders of the Lost Ark" by about a year, Jones teams up with a young boy and nightclub dancer, the then very sexy Kate Capshaw, to retrieve a rare gem.

"Final Destination 5" (Good Idea)
Movie Prequels That May or May Not Have Been a Good Idea
Just like the "Saw" franchise, they got a little carried away with an already lacking series, but the fifth and likely final film of the "Final Destination" franchise did garner an interesting lead-up to the original film's plane crash premonition, along with better reviews than the rest of its sister films.

"X-Men: First Class" (Good Idea)
Movie Prequels That May or May Not Have Been a Good Idea
Something had to make up for the horrible ending to the original trilogy, "X-Men: The Last Stand." Now with a new trilogy featuring the upbringing of everyone's favorite X-Men, we get Jennifer Lawrence instead of Rebecca Romijn in "First Class," "Days of Future Past" and soon, "X-Men: Apocalypse."

"The Hobbit" (Good Idea)
Movie Prequels That May or May Not Have Been a Good Idea
One of the best-selling novels of all time (1937), which managed to get turned into an entire trilogy, prefaced another one of the greatest trilogies of all time: not bad. Peter Jackson quickly returned after "Lord of the Rings: Return of the King" to give us three quick, consecutive films at the end of each year from 2012 to 2014. With many of the same side characters and number of great cinematic landscapes, we get a prequel trilogy not quite as good as its origin, but one that nicely prefaces it and somehow made just as much money.

"Prometheus" (Good Idea)
Movie Prequels That May or May Not Have Been a Good Idea
The general consensus is that "Prometheus" was a good movie, but nowhere near as good as "Alien" by comparison. But the idea of filming something else going on beneath the surface that isn't directly related to the original film is a great idea by Ridley Scott. The film centers around space travel in discovering clues to the origin of mankind, only to uncover something much worse. Though not as good of a film as a classic like "Alien," it stands on its own and has been offered a sequel, which is struggling to find an identity in the "Alien" franchise.

"Mallrats" (Good Idea)
Movie Prequels That May or May Not Have Been a Good Idea
The 1995 film is the prequel to Kevin Smith's 1994 "Clarks." The film incorporates Jay and Silent Bob but features more on Jason Lee's Brodie character in amongst a mob of other '90s heartthrobs like Joey Lauren Adams, Shannon Doherty and Jeremy London. The film announced on its 20th anniversary that it would be getting a late sequel in 2018, "MallBrats."


"Hannibal Rising" (Bad Idea)
Movie Prequels That May or May Not Have Been a Good Idea
"Red Dragon" was a good prequel, using Ed Norton to uncover the early beginnings of Anthony Hopkin's Hannibal character. But with "Hannibal Rising," they went way off the reservation with Gaspard Ulliel as a young Hannibal whose parents are brutally killed in front of him. The film, set around World War II, shows Hannibal on his way to medical school where he will master his craft. Surely it had to be done, but that doesn't make it a good idea.

"Dumb & Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd" (Bad Idea)
Movie Prequels That May or May Not Have Been a Good Idea
Upon seeing Harry Dunn and Lloyd Christmas for the first (and best) time of our lives, we got to wondering how two individuals could wind up so screwed up, yet wind up finding each other. The prequel, not featuring either of the original stars, takes us down a playfully boring, pointless path that ultimately leads nowhere. Then again, so did the sequel last year. Jim Carrey is still the great man who ever lived though, just to clarify.

"Oz the Great And Powerful" (Bad Idea)
Movie Prequels That May or May Not Have Been a Good Idea
A predecessor to "The Wizard of OZ," James Franco gives us a taste of magic when he's thrust into the world of Oz and brought to good fortune his wizard dreams as he becomes the great wizard they have been awaiting. However cinematic and blushing the babes Mila Kunis, Rachel Weisz, Michelle Williams, the film failed to gain much in the way of decent reviews. I blame Sam Raimi.

"Star Wars: Episode I-III" (Bad Idea)
Movie Prequels That May or May Not Have Been a Good Idea
A prequel trilogy to the original "Star Wars" trilogy, we got a modernized look at the universe George Lucas created back in 1977. Having a prequel begin decades later and be lightyears (and sabers) ahead of its original work and have a subpar cast in comparison makes it hard to be a decent idea. That's why we think Abrams's "The Force Awakens" will be a smart, well-cast and relevant sequel to progress in the "Star Wars" realm.

 

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The Greatest Quotes From Your Favorite 'Ghostbusters' Characters

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1984 saw the release of the greatest supernatural comedy ever. "Ghostbusters" was such a success that the franchise still lives on today. And while we wait for the all-female reboot, repeat viewing of the original classic is still an appealing option. A spookfest and laughfest possessed with hilarious dialogue, it only seemed right to bust out each character's best quote.

ghostbusters greatest quotes, best quotes ghostbusters, ghostbusters quotes

 

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The 100 Funniest Tweets Of 2015

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Another year has come and gone, but thankfully we had plenty of tweets to distract us from our inescapable, rapidly approaching demise! Every week we give your our 20 favorites, but we save the best for last. At the end of the year, we put together our 100 favorites from some of the funniest people on the internet that you should definitely be following. Enjoy!

 

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10 Reasons Why New Year's Eve Is Supremely Overrated

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I have yet to meet somebody who loves New Year's. Why? Well, honestly, what's to love? It's too close after Christmas for you to be wasteful with your nonexistent cash, plus every possible establishment is busy and/or ludicrously overpriced, and for what? Because it's a new year? Big deal. While there are many overrated holidays we all give into, New Year's is arguably the worst of the bunch. Here are 10 of the biggest reasons New Year's is overrated.

Want A Cab? Fat Chance
10 Reasons Why New Years Is Supremely Overrated, Catching a Cab
No matter what time it is during the evening's festivities, getting a cab is like bedding a virgin in her twenties without a marriage proposal: impossible. And if your group is partaking in beverages that evening (which, I mean, you should be), be prepared to fight to the death for your ride to and from your New Years' event –- all while irresponsibly drunk. Yes, there will be blood.


Everything Is Obnoxiously Expensive
10 Reasons New Years Is Supremely Overrated, expensive drinks
Dinner, drinks, hotel rooms, hookers -- you name it -- it'll all be exorbitantly expensive. Since most people don't want to spend New Year's at home, retailers, bars, restaurants, and every other business that could possibly profit from New Year's celebrations will hike up their prices in spectacularly sadistic fashion.


Getting A Drink Is Impossible
10 Reasons New Years Is Supremely Overrated, rude
On an average bar night, the bartender/patron ratio isn't so bad, but on New Year's, this ratio will be ten times worse –- add to that the fact that you're already at a disadvantage because you're a dude, and dudes are disrespected in these environments for some reason. As such, when you finally get addressed, you're going to order more drinks than you need to avoid the co-ed mosh pit taking place in front of the bar. This decision will lead to my next point.


You'll Get Drunk, Probably Too Drunk
10 Reasons New Years Is Supremely Overrated, drinking way too much
Because of the crowds, the lengths you've gone to get a drink, and the obnoxious drunks in close proximity to you, you're going to drink your face off just to get on their level. However, getting this drunk can lead to many things, none of which are pleasant, such as: puking, a possible arrest, bedding an ex, or a 48-hour hangover. All great ways to start the new year.


Resolutions Are Bogus
10 Reasons New Years Is Supremely Overrated, new years resolutions, resolution
Because it's the new year, our current selves have been deemed not good enough, and we'll set unoriginal resolutions for ourselves. Sure, some of us will give the weight loss thing a shot, but we're all just setting ourselves up for failure. By February we'll be back in that Burger King drive-thru grabbing a post-lunch/pre-dinner Whopper with cheese.


Deciding What To Do Is A Pain In The Ass
10 Reasons New Years Is Supremely Overrated, make a decision
Would you rather go to the crowded house party where the bathroom only tends to pukers who've locked themselves in, or the expensive dining hall with watered down alcohol, below average food, and miserable employees who'd rather be anywhere but at work? It's a lose-lose situation because all options are a crapshoot.


You're Spending Money You Don't Have
10 Reasons New Years Is Supremely Overrated, spending money
Christmas just passed, and not even a week later, you're expected to spend another insurmountable amount of cash on an expensive evening that will be decent, at best.


New Year's Is Not For Singles
10 Reasons New Years Is Supremely Overrated, single on new years, new years kiss
Not even Valentine's Day makes you feel as single as you do on New Year's, as the streamers are shooting through the room and you're taking a drink of Jack & Coke while everybody else attacks each other's faces and genitals.


Everything Is Just Too Busy
10 Reasons New Years Is Supremely Overrated, crowded places, crowded bar
Do you and your buddies grab a pre-cab shwarma or burrito to avoid making a grilled cheese at home while drunk and subsequently burning the house down? Well, you're probably not going to do that on New Year's. These usually quaint establishments will be packed, and you'll ultimately choose to go home in a cab (if you get one, that is) and try ordering a pizza (which, by the time it arrives, you'll be passed out).


Your Buddy's Going To Puke, You Just Know It
10 Reasons New Years Is Supremely Overrated, drunk friend
There's always the one guy in your group who goes a little overboard at the pre-drink and is completely smashed when you reach your destination. You will have to keep this friend from bouncers, police, and the bar, and instead of hitting on some lovely, scantily clad singles, you'll be escorting him to the bathroom so he can paint the toilet in whatever meals he's had that day.

More anti-social encouragement: 10 Better Alternatives To Going Out On New Year's Eve

 

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The Weekly Mandatory Meme Contest: 'Man Seeking Woman' Official Rules

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The Weekly Mandatory Meme Contest: "Man Seeking Woman" OFFICIAL RULES

NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. A PURCHASE WILL NOT IMPROVE YOUR CHANCE OF WINNING.

PROMOTION DESCRIPTION: The Weekly Mandatory Meme Contest: "Man Seeking Woman" (the "Contest") begins on or about January 1, 2016 at 12:00 a.m. Pacific Time ("PT") and ends on January 15, 2016 at 11:59 p.m. PT (the "Promotion Period"). The Contest provides entrants with the opportunity to create a funny meme based on a photo from FX Networks, LLC's show "Man Seeking Woman" (each, a "Submission") and to submit the meme for consideration as more fully set forth below. At the end of the Promotion Period, one (1) Grand Prize winner, one (1) First Runner Up Prize winner, and one (1) Second Runner Up Prize winner will be selected from all eligible Submissions received during the Promotion Period as more fully set forth below. By participating in the Contest, each entrant unconditionally accepts and agrees to comply with and abide by these Official Rules and the decisions of Whalerock Digital Media, LLC, located at 750 North San Vicente Boulevard, 900W, West Hollywood, CA 90069 ("Sponsor") which shall be final and binding in all respects.

ELIGIBILITY: Only legal residents of the fifty (50) United States and the District of Columbia who are eighteen years (18) years of age or older at the time of entry are eligible to enter. Officers, directors and employees of Sponsor and its parents, subsidiaries, affiliates, distributors, retailers, sales representatives, advertising and promotion agencies (all such individuals and entities referred to collectively as the "Promotion Entities"), and their immediate family members and/or people living in the same household are NOT eligible to enter the Contest or win a prize. This Contest is void where prohibited. This Contest is in no way sponsored, endorsed or administered by, or associated with, Facebook or Twitter.

HOW TO ENTER: To enter, visit www.Mandatory.com/MSW (the "Website"), complete the submission form found on the Website with the information requested, and follow the instructions to create and upload your Submission directly to the Website. The Submission must fit in the space provided on the Website and meet the following "Submission Requirements": (i) the Submission must not include language that is obscene, libelous or otherwise objectionable. Any Submission that, in Sponsor's good faith judgment, violates the foregoing criteria will be disqualified. Submissions must be received by the end of the Promotion Period. The Website database clock will be the official time keeper for this Contest. No substitutions of new versions of Submissions will be accepted under any circumstances once the original Submission is submitted for consideration. Any Submission that is considered by Sponsor in its sole and absolute discretion to be obscene, pornographic, libelous, hate speech or otherwise objectionable, in whole or in part, will be disqualified and will not be eligible for entry. All requested information on the submission form must be completed to enter and to be eligible to win. Sponsor may engage third party application providers and other vendors to administer certain aspects of the Contest, including without limitation, the online collection of entry information. Such third parties will provide your personally identifiable information to Sponsor, who except as set forth herein will use such information in accordance with the online privacy policy located at the Website, and such third parties may also use your information for their own independent purposes in accordance with their own independent privacy practices. Sponsor is not responsible for the storage or any use of your entry information by such third parties. Any communication or information transmitted to Sponsor and/or the Website by electronic mail or otherwise is and will be treated as non-confidential and nonproprietary. Submissions become the exclusive property of the Sponsor and will not be returned or acknowledged. Proof of submission is not considered proof of delivery to or receipt of such entry. Furthermore, Sponsor shall have no liability for any Submission that is lost, intercepted or not received by the Sponsor. Entrants understand that they are providing information to Sponsor and not to Facebook or to Twitter.

IMPORTANT NOTE: Any entrant who incorporates any intellectual property or material owned by a third party into his or her Submission does so at his or her own risk. If Sponsor is duly notified that any element of an entrant's Submission infringes upon the rights of another person and/or receives a legally valid request to remove the affected Submission from the Website because of such infringement, such Submission may be removed from the Website and/or disqualified from the Contest, as Sponsor may determine in its sole discretion. Further, no entrant will be eligible to receive a prize unless Sponsor determines, in its sole and absolute discretion, that such entrant's Submission has been or can be sufficiently cleared for legal purposes.

WINNER SELECTION AND NOTIFICATION: At the end of the Promotion Period, a panel of judges selected by Sponsor in its sole discretion (the "Judging Panel") will select one (1) Grand Prize winner, one (1) First Runner Up Prize winner, and one (1) Second Runner Up Prize winner from among all eligible Submissions received during the Promotion Period based upon the following criteria (the "Judging Criteria"): 33.3% for Originality, 33.3% for Comedic Value, and 33.3% for Creativity. All decisions of the Judging Panel are final and binding in all respects of the Contest and not subject to challenge or appeal. The Grand Prize winner, First Runner Up Prize winner, and Second Runner Up Prize winner will be notified by telephone, e-mail, and/or mail using the contact information provided at the time of entry within ten (10) days after the end of the Promotion Period. Sponsor shall have no liability for any winner notification that is lost, intercepted or not received by the potential winner for any reason. If any potential winner does not respond within the time required by Sponsor, or if the winner notification is returned as unclaimed or undeliverable to any potential winner, such potential winner will forfeit his or her prize and an alternate winner may be selected. If any potential winner is found to be ineligible, or if he or she has not complied with these Official Rules or declines the prize for any reason, such potential winner will be disqualified and the prize may be awarded to the next highest scoring Submission.

PRIZES:

Grand Prize:
One (1) Grand Prize is available. The Grand Prize consists of One Thousand Dollars ($1,000.00) in cash; one (1) "Man Seeking Woman" DVD; and one (1) "Book of Short Stories" by Simon Rich. The approximate retail value ("ARV") of the Grand Prize is One Thousand Thirty Nine Dollars and Seventy Nine Cents ($1,039.79).

First Runner Up Prize:
One (1) First Runner Up Prize is available. The First Runner Up Prize consists of Five Hundred Dollars ($500.00) in cash; one (1) "Man Seeking Woman" DVD; and one (1) "Book of Short Stories" by Simon Rich. The ARV of the First Runner Up Prize is Five Hundred Thirty Nine Dollars and Seventy Nine Cents ($539.79).

Second Runner Up Prize:
One (1) Second Runner Up Prize is available. The Second Runner Up Prize consists of Two Hundred and Fifty Dollars ($250.00) in cash; one (1) "Man Seeking Woman" DVD; and one (1) "Book of Short Stories" by Simon Rich. The ARV of the Second Runner Up Prize is Two Hundred and Eighty Nine Dollars and Seventy Nine Cents ($289.79).

GENERAL PRIZE CONDITIONS: No cash alternative or substitution of prizes will be allowed, except Sponsor reserves the right in its sole discretion to substitute prizes of comparable value if the prize listed is unavailable, in whole or in part, for any reason. Gift Cards are subject to the terms and conditions printed thereon and imposed by issuer. The prize will be awarded only if the potential prize winner fully complies with these Official Rules. All portions of the prize are non-assignable and non- transferable. Any prizes pictured in point-of-sale, online, television and print advertising, promotional packaging, and other Contest materials are for illustrative purposes only. All details and other restrictions of the prize(s) not specified in these Official Rules will be determined by Sponsor in its sole discretion. Each prize winner shall be solely responsible for all federal, state and/or local taxes, and the reporting consequences thereof, and for any other fees or costs associated with the applicable prize. The potential prize winner may be required to execute an Affidavit of Eligibility, a Liability Release, and (where imposing such condition is legal) a Publicity Release (collectively, "Prize Claim Documents"). If any potential winner fails or refuses to sign and return all Prize Claim Documents within ten (10) days of prize notification, the winner may be disqualified and an alternate winner may be selected.

Sponsor makes no warranties, and hereby disclaims any and all warranties, express or implied, concerning any prize furnished in connection with the Contest. WITHOUT LIMITING THE GENERALITY OF THE FOREGOING, SUCH PRIZE IS PROVIDED "AS IS" WITHOUT W ARRANTY OF ANY KIND, EITHER EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, AND SPONSOR HEREBY DISCLAIMS ALL SUCH WARRANTIES, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO, THE IMPLIED WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY, FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE AND/OR NON-INFRINGEMENT.

REPRESENTATIONS AND WARRANTIES/INDEMNIFICATION: Each person who enters this Contest represents and warrants as follows: (i) the Submission does not contain any computer virus (as applicable), is otherwise uncorrupted, is wholly original with entrant, and as of the date of submission, is not the subject of any actual or threatened litigation or claim; (ii) the Submission does not and will not violate or infringe upon the intellectual property rights or other rights of any third party; and (iii) the Submission does not and will not violate any applicable laws, and is not and will not be defamatory or libelous. Each entrant hereby agrees to indemnify and hold the Promotion Entities harmless from and against any and all third party claims, actions or proceedings of any kind and from any and all damages, liabilities, costs and expenses relating to or arising out of any breach or alleged breach of any of the warranties, representations or agreements of entrant hereunder.

YOUR CONTEST SUBMISSION:

A. You understand that whether or not your Submission is published, neither Sponsor nor FX Networks, LLC ("FX") guarantee any confidentiality with respect to any Submission.

FX shall wholly own all copyrights in your Submission. To the extent you own any right, title, or interest in the Submission, you hereby irrevocably assign and transfer to FX the rights and, in connection therewith, any and all of your right, title, and interest in and to the Submission and any and all other works now or hereafter created containing the Submission. To the fullest extent allowable under any applicable law and to the extent they exist, you hereby irrevocably waive or assign to FX your so-called "moral rights" or "droit moral". Accordingly, if under any applicable law the above waiver or assignment by you of "moral rights" or "droit moral" is not effective, then you agree to exercise such rights in a manner that recognizes the contribution of and will not have a material adverse effect upon FX or Sponsor in any manner. FX shall retain the rights granted in each Submission even if the Submission is disqualified or fails to meet the Submission Requirements.

Sponsor and FX do not endorse any Submission or any opinion, recommendation, or advice expressed therein, and Sponsor expressly disclaims any and all liability in connection with the Submission.

PUBLICITY RELEASE: By participating in the Contest, in addition to any other grants which may be granted in any other agreement entered into between Sponsor and any entrant in or winner of the Contest, each entrant irrevocably grants the Promotion Entities and their respective successors, assigns and licensees, the right to use such entrant's name, likeness, biographical information in any and all media for any purpose, including without limitation, advertising and promotional purposes as well as in, on or in connection with the Website or the Contest or other promotions, and hereby release the Promotion Entities from any liability with respect thereto.

GENERAL LIABILITY RELEASE/FORCE MAJEURE: Entrants agree that the Promotion Entities, Twitter, and Facebook (A) shall not be responsible or liable for, and are hereby released from, any and all costs, injuries, losses or damages of any kind, including, without limitation, death and bodily injury, due in whole or in part, directly or indirectly, to participation in the Contest or any Contest-related activity, or from entrants' acceptance, receipt, possession and/or use or misuse of any prize, and (B) have not made any warranty, representation or guarantee express or implied, in fact or in law, with respect to any prize, including, without limitation, to such prize's quality or fitness for a particular purpose. Sponsor assumes no responsibility for any damage to an entrant's, or any other person's, computer system which is occasioned by accessing the Website or otherwise participating in the Contest, or for any computer system, phone line, hardware, software or program malfunctions, or other errors, failures, delayed computer transmissions or network connections that are human or technical in nature. Without limiting the generality of the foregoing, Sponsor is not responsible for incomplete, illegible, misdirected, misprinted, late, lost, damaged, stolen, or postage-due prize notifications; or for lost, interrupted, inaccessible or unavailable networks, servers, satellites, Internet service providers, websites, or other connections; or for miscommunications, failed, jumbled, scrambled, delayed, or misdirected computer, telephone or cable transmissions; or for any technical malfunctions, failures, difficulties or other errors of any kind or nature; or for the incorrect or inaccurate capture of information, or the failure to capture any information. Sponsor reserves the right in its sole discretion to disqualify any individual who is found to be tampering with the entry process or the operation of the Contest or the Website, to be acting in violation of these Official Rules, or to be acting in an unsportsmanlike or disruptive manner, or with the intent to disrupt or undermine the legitimate operation of the Contest, or to annoy, abuse, threaten or harass any other person, and Sponsor reserves the right to seek damages and other remedies from any such person to the fullest extent permitted by law. No mechanically reproduced, illegible, incomplete, forged, software-generated or other automated multiple entries will be accepted. Sponsor reserves the right to modify, extend, suspend, or terminate the Contest if it determines, in its sole discretion, that the Contest is technically impaired or corrupted or that fraud or technical problems, failures or malfunctions or other causes beyond Sponsor's control have destroyed or severely undermined or to any degree impaired the integrity, administration, security, proper play and/or feasibility of the Contest as contemplated herein. In the event an insufficient number of eligible entries are received and/or Sponsor is prevented from awarding prizes or continuing with the Contest as contemplated herein by any event beyond its control, including but not limited to fire, flood, natural or man-made epidemic of health of other means, earthquake, explosion, labor dispute or strike, act of God or public enemy, satellite or equipment failure, riot or civil disturbance, terrorist threat or activity, war (declared or undeclared) or any federal state or local government law, order, or regulation, public health crisis, order of any court or jurisdiction, or other cause not reasonably within Sponsor's control (each a "Force Majeure" event or occurrence), then subject to any governmental approval which may be required, Sponsor shall have the right to modify, suspend, extend or terminate the Contest. If the Contest is terminated before the designated end date, Sponsor will (if possible) select the winner in a random drawing from all eligible, non-suspect entries received as of the date of the event giving rise to the termination. Inclusion in such drawing shall be each entrant's sole and exclusive remedy under such circumstances. Only the type and quantity of prizes described in these Official Rules will be awarded. These Official Rules cannot be modified or amended in any way except in a written document issued in accordance with law by a duly authorized representative of Sponsor. The invalidity or unenforceability of any provision of these rules shall not affect the validity or enforceability of any other provision. In the event that any provision is determined to be invalid or otherwise unenforceable or illegal, these rules shall otherwise remain in effect and shall be construed in accordance with their terms as if the invalid or illegal provision were not contained herein.

NATURE OF RELATIONSHIP/WAIVER OF EQUITABLE RELIEF: Each entrant hereby acknowledges and agrees that the relationship between the entrant and the Promotion Entities is not a confidential, fiduciary, or other special relationship, and that the entrant's decision to provide the entrant's Submission to Sponsor for purposes of the Contest does not place the Promotion Entities in a position that is any different from the position held by members of the general public with regard to elements of the entrant's Submission. Each entrant understands and acknowledges that the Promotion Entities have wide access to ideas, stories, designs, and other literary materials, and that new ideas are constantly being submitted to it or being developed by their own employees. Each entrant also acknowledges that many ideas may be competitive with, similar or identical to the Submission and/or each other in theme, idea, format or other respects. Each entrant acknowledges and agrees that such entrant will not be entitled to any compensation as a result of any Promotion Entity's use of any such similar or identical material. Each entrant acknowledges and agrees that the Promotion Entities do not now and shall not have in the future any duty or liability, direct or indirect, vicarious, contributory, or otherwise, with respect to the infringement or protection of the copyright in and to the Submission. Finally, each entrant acknowledges that, with respect to any claim by entrant relating to or arising out of a Promotion Entity's actual or alleged exploitation or use of any Submission or other material submitted in connection with the Contest, the damage, if any, thereby caused to the applicable entrant will not be irreparable or otherwise sufficient to entitle such entrant to seek injunctive or other equitable relief and entrant's rights and remedies in any such event shall be strictly limited to the right to recover damages, if any, in an action at law.

NO OBLIGATION TO USE: Sponsor shall have no obligation (express or implied) to use any Submission, or to otherwise exploit any Submission or, if commenced, to continue the distribution or exploitation thereof, and Sponsor may at any time abandon the use of the any Submission for any reason, with or without legal justification or excuse, and contestants shall not be entitled to any damages or other relief by reason thereof.

DATES & DEADLINES/ANTICIPATED NUMBER OF CONTESTANTS: Because of the unique nature and scope of the Contest, Sponsor reserves the right, in addition to those other rights reserved herein, to modify any date(s) or deadline(s) set forth in these Official Rules or otherwise governing the Contest. Sponsor cannot accurately predict the number of entrants who will participate in the Contest.

FURTHER DOCUMENTATION: If Sponsor shall desire to secure additional assignments, certificates of engagement for the Submission or other documents as Sponsor may reasonably require in order to effectuate the purposes and intents of these Official Rules, then each entrant agrees to sign the same upon Sponsor's request therefor.

GOVERNING LAW/JURISDICTION: ALL ISSUES AND QUESTIONS CONCERNING THE CONSTRUCTION, VALIDITY, INTERPRETATION AND ENFORCEABILITY OF THESE OFFICIAL RULES OR THE RIGHTS AND OBLIGATIONS OF ENTRANTS OR SPONSOR IN CONNECTION WITH THE CONTEST SHALL BE GOVERNED BY AND CONSTRUED IN ACCORDANCE WITH THE INTERNAL LAWS OF THE STATE OF CALIFORNIA WITHOUT GIVING EFFECT TO ANY CHOICE OF LAW OF CONFLICT OF LAW RULES OR PROVISIONS THAT WOULD CAUSE THE APPLICATION OF ANY OTHER STATE'S LAWS.

ARBITRATION PROVISION: By participating in this Contest, each entrant agrees: (i) that any and all disputes the entrant may have with, or claims entrant may have against, the Promotion Entities relating to, arising out of or connected in any way with (a) the Contest, (b) the awarding or redemption of any prize, and/or (c) the determination of the scope or applicability of this agreement to arbitrate, will be resolved exclusively by final and binding arbitration administered by JAMS and conducted before a sole arbitrator in accordance with the rules of JAMS; (ii) this arbitration agreement is made pursuant to a transaction involving interstate commerce, and shall be governed by the Federal Arbitration Act ("FAA"), 9 U.S.C. §§ 1-16; (iii) the arbitration shall be held in Los Angeles, California; (iv) the arbitrator's decision shall be controlled by the terms and conditions of these Official Rules and any of the other agreements referenced herein that the applicable entrant may have entered into in connection with the Contest; (v) the arbitrator shall apply California law consistent with the FAA and applicable statutes of limitations, and shall honor claims of privilege recognized at law; (vi) there shall be no authority for any claims to be arbitrated on a class or representative basis, arbitration can decide only entrant's and/or Sponsor's individual claims; the arbitrator may not consolidate or join the claims of other persons or parties who may be similarly situated; (vii) the arbitrator shall not have the power to award punitive damages against the entrant or Sponsor; (viii) in the event that the administrative fees and deposits that must be paid to initiate arbitration against Sponsor exceed $125 USD, and entrant is unable (or not required under the rules of JAMS) to pay any fees and deposits that exceed this amount, Sponsor agrees to pay them and/or forward them on entrant's behalf, subject to ultimate allocation by the arbitrator; (ix) if the entrant is able to demonstrate that the costs of arbitration will be prohibitive as compared to the costs of litigation, Sponsor will pay as much of entrant's filing and hearing fees in connection with the arbitration as the arbitrator deems necessary to prevent the arbitration from being cost-prohibitive; and (x) with the exception of subpart (vi) above, if any part of this arbitration provision is deemed to be invalid, unenforceable or illegal, or otherwise conflicts with the rules of JAMS, then the balance of this arbitration provision shall remain in effect and shall be construed in accordance with its terms as if the invalid, unenforceable, illegal or conflicting provision were not contained herein. If, however, subpart (vi) is found to be invalid, unenforceable or illegal, then the entirety of this arbitration provision shall be null and void, and neither entrant nor Sponsor shall be entitled to arbitrate their dispute. For more information on JAMS and/or the rules of JAMS, visit their website at www.jamsadr.com.

WINNER'S LIST/OFFICIAL RULES: To obtain a copy of any legally-required winners list, send a self-addressed stamped envelope to: The Weekly Mandatory Meme Contest: "Man Seeking Woman" Winners List, c/o Whalerock Digital Media, LLC, located at 750 North San Vicente Boulevard, 900W, West Hollywood, CA 90069. All such requests must be received within six (6) weeks after the end of the Promotion Period. These Official Rules will be posted on the Website during the Promotion Period.

© 2015 Whalerock Digital Media, LLC. All Rights Reserved.

 

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The Weekly Mandatory Meme Contest: 'Man Seeking Woman'


Watch This Woman Scrape Her Long, Gross Toenails Across The Floor And Try Not To Cringe

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Move over nails on the chalkboard, there's a new disgusting sheriff in town.



The unidentified woman's gross feet have gone viral thanks to the Horrific and Disturbing Videos Facebook page. The video has gotten thousands of shares and comments and incited folks to tag friends who also have less-than-desirable feet.

gross feet, disgusting toenails, woman scrapes toenails on floor
Someone really should have bought this lady a pair of clippers for Christmas.

h/t Daily Star

 

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Today's Funny Photos

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I know, I know, I'm a little late. But I really like to take my time making important decisions, especially when it comes to my new year's resolutions. So after careful consideration, I've decided to join not just any gym, but the gym that this young woman goes to. Anyone know where it's at?

funny photos, sexy gym girl, which gym to go to

funny photos, funny pics, daily lolz

funny photos, funny pics, daily lolz

funny photos, funny pics, daily lolz
Now that I've got you laughing, check us out on Twitter and Instagram, too.

funny photos, funny pics, daily lolz

funny photos, funny pics, daily lolz

funny photos, funny pics, daily lolz
More: Yesterday's Funny Photos

funny photos, funny pics, daily lolz

funny photos, funny pics, daily lolz

funny photos, funny pics, daily lolz

funny photos, funny pics, daily lolz
Related: 21 Hilarious Tweets Every Dog Owner Will Appreciate

funny photos, funny pics, daily lolz

funny photos, funny pics, daily lolz

funny photos, funny pics, daily lolz

funny photos, funny pics, daily lolz
Don't go yet. There are even more funny photos here.

 

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A List Of Celebrity Donald Trump Endorsements Thus Far

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It takes balls the size of basketballs to publicly endorse Trump, especially in Hollywood. As anyone with a brainstem knows, the entertainment industry is rife with people toeing the line of polite society. One wrong move, and you're gone for good. Just ask Mel Gibson. But much like the honey badger, The Donald don't care, and neither do these celebrities. Some would equate that to recklessness; others would call it honesty. But the truth is, recklessness and honesty are in a way synonymous. If you have nothing to lose, who cares about being dishonest? The following celebrities, sports stars and conspiracy theorists love Donald Trump, and like him, they're not sorry.

Gary Busey
celebrity donald trump endorsers, celebrity donald trump supporters, celebrity donald trump advocates, gary busey
In 1988, Busey fractured his skull in a motorcycle accident, and doctors feared he would have permanent brain damage. By his own admission, this led him to talk without a filter.

Last September, the "Rookie of the Year" star endorsed Trump after his debut on "Dancing with the Stars." Busey told Fox411, "I know him personally. I know him professionally. He's a great guy. He's sharp. He's fast. He can change the country after the last eight years." In 2012, he supported Trump's candidacy as well, saying, "Donald Trump has the wherewithal, the knowledge and the awareness of this country. He wants to turn it back to where the founders had it."

Dennis Rodman
celebrity donald trump endorsers, celebrity donald trump supporters, celebrity donald trump advocates, dennis rodman
Sure, Rodman dresses in drag. Sure, he once called Kim Jong-un a "friend for life." Sure, he had an affair with Madonna. But the guy has never been scared to be himself. And that counts for something.

On July 24, Rodman tweeted, "@realDonaldTrump has been a great friend for many years. We don't need another politician, we need a businessman like Trump! Trump 2016." It's true that Rodman has close relations with The Donald, as he appeared on "Celebrity Apprentice" and was quickly dispatched as the fifth contestant fired. It's evident there is no beef, which speaks volumes about his respect for Trump. But it's possible he only likes him because their hair was once the same orangish color.

Ted Nugent
celebrity donald trump endorsers, celebrity donald trump supporters, celebrity donald trump advocates, ted nugent
Ted Nugent — singer, songwriter, NRA member. On July 8, he published an article titled "Give Donald Trump the Medal of Freedom" for conservative website World Net Daily. Glittered with colorful language only The Nuge would be capable of, he wrote, "Donald Trump is running strong in the early polls because Americans are fed up with the political status quo, especially from left-leaning GOP Fedzillacrats who want to feed us cow dung while telling us it's a cheeseburger."

He later went on the "Keeler in the Morning" radio show and said, "I'm a big fan of Donald Trump because I believe in old, aggressive, unapologetic truth." While the rock guitarist has been accused of "racism, sexism, homophobia, Islamophobia, animus towards immigrants and propensity to use violence-tinged language," one would have to agree that Trump is indeed old, aggressive, and unapologetic.

Tila Tequila
celebrity donald trump endorsers, celebrity donald trump supporters, celebrity donald trump advocates, tila tequila
Tila Tequila is known best as a bisexual Singaporean with a fetish for Nazi outfits and MySpace. She added to her irreverent repertoire when she posted a video praising Trump on October 13. She drew parallels between how the media and public demeaned her a fame-whore reality TV joke and how The Donald faces similar criticisms: "When he came to the scene I laughed at him like everybody else...however, I looked within myself and realized, 'Tila, you are judging him exactly how people are judging you,' because people are judging me all the time as opposed to listening to the message."

Further, the "A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila" star stated, "That's when I realized I was a hypocrite, 'cause I judged Donald Trump based on his past, and you know, his reality shows and all that, and that made me blind to seeing his true message." Like other celebrity endorsers, Tila's penchant for living true to herself as opposed to imprisoned within the confines of a Hollywood establishment, thus ostracized, made no bones about who she'd support in the upcoming election: "Guys, seriously, wake up, open your eyes. Trump is the man."

Mike Tyson
celebrity donald trump endorsers, celebrity donald trump supporters, celebrity donald trump advocates, mike tyson
Donald Trump recently called for a temporary ban on all Muslims entering the U.S. But a once-proud member of the Nation of Islam says, "He's the man." During an episode of HuffPost Live in October, the legendary heavyweight boxer said he was tired of how things have been run in the past, and that America should be run like a business "where no colors matter, whoever can do the job gets the job." Tyson went on to say that Trump being lambasted by both the Republican and Democratic candidates suggests that these politicians thought the people were stupid, because tens of millions of Americans do, in fact, support The Donald: "He's winning it fair and square; he's not bribing anybody, so why is he a bad guy?"

Jesse Ventura
celebrity donald trump endorsers, celebrity donald trump supporters, celebrity donald trump advocates, jesse ventura
When he's not talking about chemtrails, mind control and thermite paint, Jesse Ventura likes to shoot the political shit. During an episode of his web series "Off the Grid," the wrestler/governor/Navy Seal spoke with former Trump adviser Roger Stone, saying, "I shocked my staff today. I came in and said, 'You know what, as far as the Republicans are concerned, I hope Trump wins.'"

Ventura also said that he liked the fact that Trump is an outsider: "I'm not a Republican — I'm not a Democrat either — so ultimately I'd like somebody else overall." Concerning career politicians and government insiders, he said, "Trump has scared the hell out of them, because as you said, they can't control him."

Charlie Sheen
celebrity donald trump endorsers, celebrity donald trump supporters, celebrity donald trump advocates, charlie sheen
They share tiger blood. They bone supermodels. They're "winning." Last August, Charlie Sheen expressed on Twitter that he would love to be Donald's running mate: "If Trump wins I'd be his VP in a heartbeat!" Two months later, he told the world he had HIV. It's up for debate which statement caused more controversy.

Mike Ditka
celebrity donald trump endorsers, celebrity donald trump supporters, celebrity donald trump advocates, mike ditka
Ditka told the Chicago Sun-Times, "I do like Donald Trump. I think he- sometimes he's gotta think a little bit before he says things, but I think he's on the right track." And every head in the city of Chicago exploded. Trump responded with, "He's a great guy. A total winner. A totally great guy and a total winner. And I am honored to hear such nice things said about me that are totally unsolicited!"

Honorable mentions: Stephen Baldwin, Lou Ferrigno, Hulk Hogan, Wayne Newton, Willie Robertson, Ivana Trump and, oh yeah, a shitload of rappers.

 

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30 Of The Most Hilarious People On Twitter You're Not Following Yet

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If you have a Twitter account, one of the smartest things you can do is load it up with funny people so you always have laughs at hand whenever you need them. But most of the bigger accounts you're already familiar with, so we decided to help you out and find the next great ones. These guys and gals may not have massive followings yet, but they're as funny, if not funnier, than some that you already follow. Check them out and enjoy!

1. Becky Robinson (@beckyrrobinson)


2. Hannah (@TribalSpaceCat)


3. Chris Hudspeth (@CEHudspeth)


4. Krista Doyle (@Krista_Doyle)


5. Michael O'Brien (@mycobrian)


6. Brandon Wardell (@BRANDONWARDELL)


7. Anthony Troli (@AnthonyTroli)


8. Jake Currie (@jakecurrie)


9. Alex (@thefurlinator)


10. Cory Snearowski (@corysnearowski)


11. Barbara Gray (@BabsGray)


12. Patrick Monahan (@pattymo)


13. Leah Tiscione (@LeahTiscione)


14. Jess (@eye_like_sharx)


15. Lon Harris (@Lons)


16. Brandon Vaughn (@Brandamonium)


17. Dan O'Brien (@OtherDanOBrien)


18. Jade (@TheDreamGhoul)


19. Crissy Milazzo (@crissymilazzo)


20. Aaron Burdette (@AaronBurdette)


21. Max Miller (@RuinMyWeek)


22. Dan Clyne (@danCLYNE)


23. Brett Ryland (@brettryland)


24. Matt Shirley (@mattsurely)


25. Grant Pardee (@grantpa)


26. Ashley Barnhill (@ashley_barnhill)


27. Andrew Michaan (@AndrewMichaan)


28. Alex Mann (@alexjmann)


29. Justin Furano (@JustinFurano)


30. Miel (@mielmonster)

 

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Ronda Rousey's Butt Obviously Made The Internet Go Photoshop Crazy On It

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Yes, we still don't know if the ass pic that was posted by Sports Illustrated Swimsuit editor MJ Day belongs to Ronda Rousey or not, but since it is the internet, we are just going to assume it is and run with it. Which is exactly what the Photoshoppers of the world did. And we are thankful. Because the results were amazing.

Here's the original ass photo that got everyone talking:

Ronda Rousey Photoshop Butt On Internet

And here's the Internet flexing it's talented-ish muscles:

Ronda Rousey Photoshop Butt On Internet

Ronda Rousey Photoshop Butt On Internet

Ronda Rousey Photoshop Butt On Internet

Ronda Rousey Photoshop Butt On Internet

Ronda Rousey Photoshop Butt On Internet

Ronda Rousey Photoshop Butt On Internet

Ronda Rousey Photoshop Butt On Internet

Ronda Rousey Photoshop Butt On Internet

Ronda Rousey Photoshop Butt On Internet

Ronda Rousey Photoshop Butt On Internet

h/t The Chive

It's a common occurrence: This Is Why Asking The Internet To Photoshop Anything For You Is Always A Good Idea

 

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