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Mandatory

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    There are a lot of negative opinions when it comes to people taking mirror selfies, but something tells me that no one is going to be complaining about the mirror selfies that Abigail Ratchford took for her fans.

    Check out the two mirror selfies the Los Angeles based model posted on her Instagram:

    No rest for the wicked ; ) ūüí£ @jenniferconejobeauty X @jucieg ūüíĄ

    A photo posted by A b i g a i l (@abigailratchford) on


    Since im feeling generous ūüć¶ūüĎÖ #AnotherOne ‚úĆūüŹľÔłŹ

    A photo posted by A b i g a i l (@abigailratchford) on


    Yep, nothing negative about that at all.

    God Bless America: Abigail Ratchford Is Your New Favorite 'American Woman'

     

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    In last night's debate -- a debate held to help determine the Republican nominee for president, might I remind you -- Donald Trump took some time out of the political discussion early in the evening to assure us all that he indeed has a giant penis.

    The statement came in defense of comments made by Marco Rubio in which Rubio inferred that based on the size of The Donald's hands, he must also have a small dong. Donald defended his manhood with this classic quote: "Look at those hands. Are they small hands? And he referred to my hands ‚ÄĒ if they're small, something else must be small. I guarantee you there's no problem, I guarantee."

    Well, despite what he says, we now have proof that Trump's hands do indeed indicate a size issue below the belt. This exclusive nude photo of Donald Trump obtained by Mandatory proves that the Republican frontrunner is definitely not packing much down there.

    Now, before you look, I want to warn you, this photo is truly disgusting. We censored this photo because we don't want to blind you. But below this photo, there's a link to see Donald and Little Donald. Don't say we didn't warn you. It is outrageously NSFW.

    Donald Trump penis

    So, there you have it. And if you really want to see the real deal, you can click the TOTALLY NSFW AND DISGUSTING IMAGE here.

     

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  • 03/04/16--12:47: donald-trump-tiny-penis.jpg
  • donald trump penis

     

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    Have you ever wondered what would go down if RoboCop crossed paths with The Terminator? How about Scarface crossing paths with James Bond? Well, thanks to the fantastic editing of Antonio Maria Da Silva we can now find out.

    Check out the video below to see stars like Harrison Ford, Eddie Murphy, Will Smith and more meet up at "Hell's Club," with characters like Beetlejuice, Alien and even Blade in there as well:


    And then there is this beauty: Arnold Schwarzenegger And Sylvester Stallone Just Became One In This Hilarious Mashup

     

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    Shooting ranges can be terrifying if you aren't familiar or comfortable with firearms. Also, you generally suck at shooting the first couple times you go. But clearly this is not actor Keanu Reeves' first rodeo, as he is looking like a seasoned vet in the clip below as he preps for his upcoming role in "John Wick: Chapter 2."


    I tend to reserve my judgement on movies until I at least see a preview (especially when I wasn't all that fond of the first one), but I'm currently trying to figure out how I can buy my tickets now.

    Related: The Craziest Stunts Done By Real Actors

     

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    It wouldn't be presidential election season without at least a few of the candidates being accused of murder. Of course, with total creep Ted Cruz officially off the hook when it comes to being the infamous Zodiac Killer of the late '60s and '70s due to his age, the finger had to be pointed elsewhere. So why not at the man whose crotchety oldness gives C. Montgomery Burns a run for his money? That's right, social media has now set its sights on Bernie Sanders, and the evidence is...well, maybe not quite damning, but it's there:


    But the wild accusations don't stop there. In fact, there is an entire Tumblr page dedicated to breaking this case wide open. Here's a small excerpt from that madness:

    "Preliminary Wikipedia-level research tells us that the Zodiac Killer's period of activity is confirmed to have extended from 1968-1969, but speculation places the first murders as early as 1963. Excluding that 1963 murder (which occurred while Sanders was still enrolled in college in Chicago) every Zodiac murder fits on a timeline that does not preclude Sanders as a suspect.

    However, we can still account for that unconfirmed 1963 murder when we consider that Sanders was actively traveling at the time - he participated in the March on Washington for Jobs and Freedom on August 28, 1963, but his whereabouts were unaccounted for on June 4, 1963 when Robert Domingos and Laura Edwards were murdered (presumably by the Zodiac Killer) in Gaviota, California. The University of Chicago does not have record of Sanders participating in any summer enrollment at that time, and summer break was well underway - Sanders had ample opportunity to travel to Gaviota and commit the crime."


    It continues in its absurdity from there. However, there is yet another photo of Bernie included on the page that gives us a pretty good side profile shot from his college days looking rather Zodiac-y.

    young bernie sanders, college bernie sanders
    Convinced? Yeah, we kinda figured not. But with this whole election being a great big joke anyways, we see no damage in piling another on.

    Related: Celebrities Who Have Vowed To Flee The U.S. If Trump (Or Another Candidate) Wins

     

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    You have to think if he put this much effort and dedication toward a job, he wouldn't be hurting for cash.

    Insurance scams in Hong Kong are apparently just as big an issue as they are in Russia, with some scams involving "gangs" of people who prey on unsuspecting drivers. The gist of the trick is that somebody bites the bullet for the rest of the group and steps in front of a moving vehicle. When the driver gets out of the car, he or she is confronted by the rest of the gang and then ends up forking over some cash just to get everybody to leave.

    In this case, however, it looks as though this douche acted alone when he jumped headfirst into an oncoming car:


    What. An. Asshole.

    Seriously, what good is it to win 50 grand from an insurance company if you have to use it all to pay somebody to spoon-feed you your peas and carrots for the rest of your life?

    h/t Barstool Sports

    You'll never want to take your hands out of these pockets: Model Walks Around Hong Kong With Painted-On Skinny Jeans, No One Notices

     

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    Oleksiy Mishchenko and his crew traveled to South Africa last week for the Cape Town Cycle Tour, otherwise known as the "world's largest timed cycle race," but it was the world's largest living bird keeping pace with them during a warm-up ride that had everybody talking.

    Mishchenko said he and his mates were rolling along at roughly 31 miles per hour, and as you'll see, the ostrich had no issue keeping up with them.


    Impressive, yes, but some ostriches have been known to reach speeds up to 43 miles per hour at times.

    As to why the ostrich decided to run alongside them for over a minute, Mishchenko said it was probably because he wanted everyone to know that he was no slouch underneath the feathers.

    "My guess is he wanted to show off in front of his girlfriend. I bet she was very impressed," Mishchenko said.

    Yeah, either that or he wanted to let you know that he wasn't too happy about you and your boys blowing through that stop sign two miles back. Those signs are for your safety as well, pal.

    h/t Deadspin

    That guy's hurt: The Most Intense Solo Bike Crash You Will Ever See

     

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    Some dude recently went skiing in the mountains of Austria and decided to attach a GoPro to his helmet to capture his adventures.

    But I'll be honest: Unless he later set up that camera in the women's locker room, the footage of this young lady flying face-first into a rack of skis while the rest of the resort looked on as they chowed down on $20 burgers was probably way better than anything else he captured on the slopes that day.


    Terrific. I mean, outside of the 68-year-old woman who tried to be an MMA fighter a few weeks ago, that is easily the video of the year so far.

    h/t LiveLeak

    This guy didn't get up right away: The Most Intense Solo Bike Crash You Will Ever See

     

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    First dates are always delicate. You want to be cool, but you don't want to come off too cold. You don't want to seem too eager, either. So what you end up with is a dance between two semi-strangers.

    This Venn diagram gives you a little insight into what each sex is usually thinking during a first date.

    first date venn diagram, first date thoughts, what men and women think about on first dates

     

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  • 03/08/16--04:12: Today's Funny Photos
  • Today's funny photos are here to fix all your problems. As long as all your problems involve not laughing enough right now. If they don't get the job done, then check us out on Twitter and Instagram.

    funny photos, mandatory.com

    funny photos, mandatory.com

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    Wait! Don't leave! Click here for more funny photos!

     

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    The shower's primary purpose may be to clean yourself, but as we all know, we get up to a lot more in there. The reason for this is likely that showers are deceptively private, and as a result, we believe we can do whatever we want without judgment. But the truth is, a bathroom amplifies more than a concert hall, and if anybody else is home, there's a good chance they're going to know what we're up to. So in the interest of getting it all out in the open for the greater good, here are the 12 things all of us do (or have done) in the shower.

    1. Sing
    things every man does in the shower, sing, shower soap half baked
    While not exclusive to men, singing in the shower is about as standard as shampooing your hair. The only difference is, when men sing, it's usually a song we would never sing in public -- something catchy by Taylor Swift, perhaps.

    2. Fart (Loudly)
    things every man does in the shower, fart, fart in shower
    Since most of us see the shower as a personal chamber where nobody else exists, guys tend to be more likely to let one of our more aggressive, cheek-clapping farts loose.

    3. Dance
    things every man does in the shower, dance, home alone shower dance cutout
    Again, since we're closed off from everybody else (and hopefully have some tunes going in the shower), it becomes a personal nightclub and we dance like no one's watching. Because they aren't.

    4. Pee
    things every man does in the shower, pee, louis ck pee shower liars
    The convenience of taking a leak in the shower is tough to pass up. After all, you're already in there cleaning your body. If the urge to pee creeps in, and it's all going to the same place anyway, why not take a piss and watch as the yellow stream commingles with the hot shower water until it twirls down the drain? Who could blame you?

    5. Shampoo Mohawks
    things every man does in the shower, shampoo mohawks, ferris bueller sings in shower
    While you probably did this more when you were a child, turning your hair into a mohawk with shampoo was pretty standard all the way through adolescence. If you still do it today, don't worry; there's still no shame in your game.

    6. Masturbate
    things every man does in the shower, masturbate, penguin bathtub gotham
    With soap working as such an effective lubricant, of course a guy is going to masturbate. We're men and that's what men do. You got a problem with that?

    7. Look At Our Bodies
    things every man does in the shower, look at ourselves, homer in mirror
    When a man steps out of the shower, he's usually confronted by his body in the mirror's unfair reflection. More often than not, we're not pleased by this reflection; our physique isn't looking its best. Was it because of the pizza we destroyed the evening prior after a ridiculous amount of beer at 3 a.m., followed by shots and that corner store shawarma? Nope. No way. It's probably some other reason that's not our fault whatsoever.

    8. Fall
    things every man does in the shower, fall, kramer shower fall
    Ever fallen back into the bathtub completely hammered while taking a leak in the toilet? Of course you have. We all have. Some of us have even taken the shower curtain with us in a last-ditch effort to break our fall. But if you're in the minority, a more likely way to fall is by merely slipping on the tub's notoriously slick surface. Either way, you're going down sooner or later.

    9. Have Sex
    things every man does in the shower, shower sex
    If a man ever showers with his girlfriend, he's going to see if it will result in sex. In doing so, he will realize that shower sex is much more difficult than the movies portray, and is actually a total pain in the ass -- the opposite of sexy. Somehow, the inclusion of water makes penetration even harder to accomplish.

    10. Try To Be Sexy
    things every man does in the shower, try to be sexy, guy falls in shower
    For some indiscernible reason, showers are sexy. You feel sexy in them. As such, we may seductively run the water over our heads or run our hands over our sudsy bodies as if we were cast as man candy in a chick flick. Sure, it's embarrassing, but we've all totally done this.

    11. Try To Cure A Hangover
    things every man does in the shower, try to cure a hangover, dog under faucet
    You're having one of those brutal hangovers where you've vowed to never drink again. The room is spinning and the tiled bathroom floor isn't doing the trick, so you crawl toward the shower to see if that can somehow help with this bitch of a headache. Alas, it doesn't. But it was worth a shot.

    12. Burn The Sh*t Out Of Ourselves
    things every man does in the shower, burn ourselves, faucet temperatures
    With the slightest turn of the knob, a shower can go from arctic cold to Satan's piss trickling down your back. Men react differently to this shift in temperature than women do, and tend to curse out whatever party is responsible.

     

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    0 0

    Ah, sex. Everyone loves it. Not everyone gets it. But getting some action is only half the battle. Not all sex is created equal. Let's run down all of the different types of sex you have in life and see what comes out on top. (Pun intended?)

    american pie, pie sex scene
    25. Your First Time
    Don't worry, it only gets better


    too full for sex
    24. Long-Term Relationship Special Occasion Sex
    It's a birthday or anniversary or Valentine's Day. You two celebrated the special occasion by going out for Italian, where you split the extra-creamy gnocchi special. Cut to obligatory sex that night: You both go through the motions while trying not to burp vodka sauce up in each other's faces between thrusts.



    23. With Her Cat Watching
    Kudos to the man strong-willed enough to maintain an erection after looking up into the darkness for a split second and making eye contact with a floating pair of green eyes perched atop her dresser.


    married with children
    22. Married Sex
    Welcome to familiarity. And missionary.


    shower sex
    21. Shower Sex
    It's rarely as hot as it is in the movies. In fact, if you're stuck out of the water, it's gonna be freezing cold. Factor in the mildewed shower curtain and the very real and very constant threat to slip and crack your skull open and you have a recipe for disaster.


    car sex
    20. Car Sex
    This is another one that seems way better in the movies...and now you just accidentally kicked the car into reverse and it's slowly rolling into the creek and you don't have the right insurance to pay for all this and now there's a gear stick going into a hole it shouldn't be going into and oh God what's happening....


    netflix and chill
    19. Netflix And Chill
    Call me old-fashioned, but binge watching "Making A Murderer" doesn't exactly give me a huge erection.


    sexting
    18. Sexting
    You guys are stuck far away from each other and you're craving some action. Any excitement generated by the fact that you guys are hooking up long distance is dulled by the fact that one of you is definitely just eating pizza and watching HBO.


    funny, dorm sex
    17. Dorm Sex While Your Roommate That You Don't Know That Well "Sleeps" In The Bed Four Feet Away
    I guess this depends on how much of an exhibitionist you are, but I'm pretty sure even the freakiest couple doesn't want to look across the room to catch a relative stranger trying to gently stroke himself under his sheets.


    sex on airplane
    16. Mile High Club
    The only thing more uncomfortable than trying to sit in coach is trying to get it on in one of those tiny-ass lavatories.


    cameron diaz, sex tape
    15. The Sex Tape
    Between the poor lighting and angles and the possibility of you guys breaking up and the video winding up on a revenge porn site, this one has more negatives than positives.


    friends, ross, threesome
    14. The Threesome
    The parts never line up and someone always winds up getting neglected. (Hint: it's you.)


    funny morning sex
    13. Pre-work Quickie
    It doesn't matter what you're wearing or how bad you smell or how quickly you finish -- in fact, the faster you are, the better you did. Sign me up, please.


    cheating sex
    12. Cheating Sex
    You piece of shit. (Please don't let the high ranking make you feel any better about yourself, scumbag.)


    11. Food Sex
    If you exercise caution and bring in the right amount, and the right types, of dessert foods, this can be super hot. (If you show up in the bedroom with last night's Thai leftovers, I think you're focusing on the wrong thing.)


    sex on the beach
    10. Sex On The Beach
    Sex under the sunset with waves crashing in the background sure is romantic, just be prepared to be cleaning sand out of the most private of your crevices for at least a week afterwards.


    princess leia cosplay, jennifer aniston
    9. Role-Playing
    If this is happening later in a relationship, even the most overdone costumes, like Princess Leia or a cop in fishnets and handcuffs, are the perfect change of pace from hook-ups in pajamas with the TV on in the background. If this is happening at the beginning of a relationship, you've got yourself a keeper. (Side note: yeah, I don't know how two separate pictures of Ross from "Friends" made it onto this list, either.)


    public sex
    8. Public Sex
    Nothing beats the thrill of getting it on amongst a bunch of oblivious people. Just make sure you've done all proper body hair grooming in case you get busted and your ass goes viral (literally).


    knocked up, sex scene
    7. Drunk Mistake Sex
    There is no greater gulf than the contrast between how sure you were about her last night vs. how much regret you feel this morning. (Still, the stories from these hook-ups are always epic.)


    honeymoon sex
    6. Honeymoon Sex
    Basically every type of sex on this list is on the menu during your honeymoon. Plus, you're probably on an all-inclusive deal at a super nice beach resort that you can barely afford, so you can call and order post-coital fish tacos whenever you want. Double score!


    ron burgundy sex scene
    5. Beginning Of Relationship Sex
    Oh yeah, that's the stuff. You have yet to discover that she does not (and will never, ever) refill the Brita or that her mom is her roommate. All you know is that you guys have a weekly Thursday Happy Hour appointment and that she can make your toes curl and your eyes cross with that thing she does with her tongue.


    makeup sex, someecards
    4. Makeup Sex
    You fight, you make up...and then you really make up. There is no need to worry about your slowly deteriorating relationship when you can mask all of your personal incompatibilities with some insanely passionate banging.


    glenn close, fatal attraction
    3. Crazy Girl Sex
    So what if she's a Trump supporter and forced you to reveal the passwords to all of your social media accounts after one date -- this woman does things you had only previously seen on RedTube. As long as she doesn't murder you when the relationship inevitably falls apart, all of that drama will have been worth it.


    forgetting sarah marshall, sex scene
    2. Vacation Sex
    All your worries are at home. Plus, Helga from housekeeping has to clean up the wet spot for you. (Sorry, Helga.)


    butt finger, wrestling
    1. Anal Sex
    Duh.

     

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    Tired of not knowing whether the next Michael Bay film is going to be crap or complete crap? Well, we've concocted a way to make the best educated guess based on some of the biggest movies he's directed and/or produced. Using Rotten Tomatoes patented Tomatometer as our guide, we not only mapped out some of his most famous films according to both their critics and audience scores, but added his Bay-sline (the average score of all the movies he's directed and produced, including a few such as "Ouija" and "The Unborn" which he produced but were just too terrible to include on the chart). As you can see, he averages about a 44 percent among his fans and critics combined. If a movie is over the Bay-sline, you should definitely see it. If it's not, well, we all know you're going to watch it on cable this weekend anyways.

    the michael bay-sline, michael bay movie review scores
    Critic and Audience Score percentages, respectively

    Bad Boys (43% / 78%)
    The Rock (66% / 86%)
    Armageddon (39% / 73%)
    Pearl Harbor (25% / 67%)
    Bad Boys II (23% / 78%)
    The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (36% / 57%) - PRODUCED ONLY
    The Island (40% / 64%)
    Transformers (57% / 86%)
    Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (19% / 58%)
    Friday the 13th (25% / 46%) - PRODUCED ONLY
    A Nightmare on Elm Street (15% / 43%) - PRODUCED ONLY
    Transformers: Dark of the Moon (35% / 56%)
    Pain & Gain (49% / 47%)
    The Purge (38% / 36%) - PRODUCED ONLY
    The Purge: Anarchy (56% / 57%) - PRODUCED ONLY
    Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (21% / 52%) - PRODUCED ONLY
    Transformers: Age of Extinction (18% / 51%)
    13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi (53% / 87%)

    Related: A Fun Look At The Depressing Career Of Cuba Gooding Jr. Since His 1997 Oscar Win

     

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    Just one day after Kim Kardashianposted a nude photo on her Twitter, she's back at it again, this time posting a topless photo after receiving a bunch of criticism for yesterday's photo.

    After posting yesterday's nude photo, Kim got a lot of hate aimed her way, even from celebrities like Chlo√ę Grace Moretz and Bette Midler. Let's first take a look at Kim's new nude photo below:


    That photo came after Kim went on a Twitter rant resembling one that would come from Kanye West. Let's take a look at the one tweet during that rant that is really going to make you like her....


    Can't wait to see the nude photo Kim posts tomorrow.

    Teamwork? Kanye West Can't Stop Tweeting Nude Photos Of Kim Kardashian

     

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    Sure, face swaps can be funny, but now that everyone has jumped on board and is doing them there is bound to be a batch that look like they were intended to keep you up at night. Here are 17 face swaps that are simply terrifying.

    17 Face Swaps That Will Give You Nightmares

    17 Face Swaps That Will Give You Nightmares

    17 Face Swaps That Will Give You Nightmares

    17 Face Swaps That Will Give You Nightmares

    17 Face Swaps That Will Give You Nightmares

    17 Face Swaps That Will Give You Nightmares

    17 Face Swaps That Will Give You Nightmares

    17 Face Swaps That Will Give You Nightmares

    17 Face Swaps That Will Give You Nightmares

    17 Face Swaps That Will Give You Nightmares

    17 Face Swaps That Will Give You Nightmares

    17 Face Swaps That Will Give You Nightmares

    17 Face Swaps That Will Give You Nightmares

    17 Face Swaps That Will Give You Nightmares

    17 Face Swaps That Will Give You Nightmares

    17 Face Swaps That Will Give You Nightmares

    17 Face Swaps That Will Give You Nightmares
    Via Pleated-Jeans

    Hollywood nightmares: The Very Best Celebrity Face Swaps

     

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    When you attend a baseball game the only thing you should worry about is overpriced food, but unfortunately that's not always the case as a ball or a bat can come flying at you at any moment. And that's exactly what happened to one kid who was completely distracted by his phone.

    In a fantastic photo taken by Pittsburgh Tribune-Review photographer Christopher Horner, you can see the exact moment a father reaches out his hand in time to deflect an oncoming bat that was headed toward his son's face. Take a look at the photo below:


    That kid was so busy looking up boobs that he was almost knocked out:


    The least this kid can do now is pay for his own college.

    h/t Deadspin

    He wasn't so lucky: Dodgers Pitcher Josh Ravin Tweets A Photo Of His Very Broken Arm

     

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    No one likes getting a parking ticket, but residents of Asheville, North Carolina, are dealing with a prankster that is leaving fake parking tickets everywhere.

    These Fake Parking Tickets Have a Hilarious Conclusion
    While the normal fine is $10, these fake parking tickets tell victims to fork over $100 instead.

    These Fake Parking Tickets Have a Hilarious Conclusion
    They even look completely legit, so it's easy to see why some of this prank's victims have been tricked.

    These Fake Parking Tickets Have a Hilarious Conclusion
    The thing about these fake parking tickets is that they come with a QR code, and you probably won't believe where it takes you to. Let's first read what Ken Putnam, Asheville's transportation director, told WLOS about this code: "It was kind of surprising to go to a link for a YouTube video, and then when I went it was featuring some rock star that I didn't know who it was."

    These Fake Parking Tickets Have a Hilarious Conclusion
    That "rock star" Putnam was talking about? This guy:

    These Fake Parking Tickets Have a Hilarious Conclusion
    Yep, all these prank victims are being rickrolled. This code takes you to Rick Astley's now classic "Never Gonna Give You Up."

    Hey it beats being scammed out of $100.

    Via The Chive

    It also beats this: 16 Angry And Hilarious Parking Notes Left On Cars

     

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    Irony is everywhere. For example, Volume 1, Volume 2 and Volume 3. But enough shameless promoting; it's time to shake your head at a fresh batch of ironic signs, license plates and situations. Don't expect this to be the last roundup, either, as stupidity never takes a break.

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    funny ironic photos, irony photos, inferno on fire


    funny ironic photos, irony photos, donald trump made in mexico

     

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    I don't care for the music of Ariana Grande at all, but it's hard not to take notice when she's parading around in a leather superhero outfit in order to promote her new album "Dangerous Woman."

    So when she's not looking like that girl everyone hates at the talent show, Ariana is looking like a hot superhero Marvel just came up with in order to satisfy its pervy fanboys. Take a look at this outfit thanks to Ariana's Instagram:

    DW coming soon

    A photo posted by Ariana Grande (@arianagrande) on



    "dangerous woman" ūüí≠

    A photo posted by Ariana Grande (@arianagrande) on


    And here's some more shots of Ariana, just for fun:

    wardrobe for the rest of my life goodbye

    A photo posted by Ariana Grande (@arianagrande) on


    excited, tired & loving you

    A photo posted by Ariana Grande (@arianagrande) on


    to do today: rid this cold, watch Rent 6 times, eat twice my weight in popcorn. ‚ėĀÔłŹ

    A photo posted by Ariana Grande (@arianagrande) on


    h/t Playboy

    In case you need more: Ariana Grande Has A Fitting Last Name

     

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