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    For whatever reason, I'm having trouble concentrating on what looks like terrible news out of Turkey.

    According to the Daily Mail, a reporter for Sydney, Australia's ABC News 24 made an interesting wardrobe choice during this afternoon's reading of the news when she either decided to or was asked to wear a light-colored shirt featuring pockets that look like tiny cartoon tits.

    ros childs wears shirt with boob pockets


    Ros Childs did a beautiful job relaying the awful news of a car bombing in Turkey, but it was her "Sharpie boobies" that had social media buzzing:


    It's unknown if Childs was left "red-faced" because of the unfortunate placement of the pockets or because she felt shortchanged.

    Oh no! It's the ol' dick-necked jacket: Australian News Anchor's Jacket Made It Look Like She Was Wearing A Penis Necklace

     

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  • 03/15/16--04:15: Today's Funny Photos
  • So many funny photos, so little time. So you must only dedicate each day to the funniest of the funny photos. And those, my friend, are directly below. So get to scrolling and wasting time and then check us out on Twitter and Instagram when you're done.

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    As always, you can find all of the rest of the funny photos in the world right here.

     

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    ricky gervais smug, ricky gervais atheist
    Through the years, numerous celebrities and public figures have shared their religious beliefs with the general public and used it to define who they are as a person. Tim Tebow would have simply been a mediocre quarterback, but the focus on his strong religious beliefs caused him to stay in the spotlight for years. Charles Manson would have been just another cult leader who convinced his followers to commit murders if it weren't for his strong love of Satan. Both of these examples pushed their religious beliefs on us to the point that we kind of got sick of hearing about them. It was always, "Oh great, Tim Tebow is getting all preachy again." Or, "Here we go, Charles Manson is dedicating another taken soul to the dark lord with a blood sacrifice."

    It just gets old.

    Most public figures, at the very least, give hints or suggestions of their religious beliefs, but throughout his entire career there is one man who has gone out of his way to keep his personal spiritual preferences to himself. That man is, of course, Ricky Gervais. Honestly, how does he do it? In a time where reporters, fans and TMZ are constantly prying into your life and looking to make a big deal out of every little detail, how has he avoided sharing his beliefs with us? He's certainly had plenty of opportunities to share them; that's for sure. Between movies and TV shows, he could have EASILY inserted little hints and jabs at opposing views, but Ricky Gervais is better than that. He doesn't need to use his platform to belittle others in an attempt to make himself feel superior. What's the point? His religious feelings didn't get him there, so why would they need to be brought up? He knows that and he's confident enough in his own abilities instead of having to rely on mocking people who only have the agenda of keeping others from spending eternity in a lake of fire. Who needs it?

    Does Anyone Know What Ricky Gervais' Religious Beliefs Are?

    There are some, like the Westboro Baptist Church or Richard Dawkins, who seem to spend countless hours on the Internet spouting off smarmy comments about how their thoughts are the only correct thoughts and anyone who thinks differently is a fool. Not my boy, Ricky. He's like the Banksy of religious perspective. You never see or hear them because he lets his art do the talking. Why, even the idea of bringing up his religion probably makes him blush with embarrassment. "What do I believe?" he'd probably ask. "Well, I believe that everyone has a right to believe whatever makes them happy and, gosh, if it's good enough for them then it's good enough for me. Now let's go have a jolly mincemeat pie! Harry Potter!" he'd probably declare.

    Does Anyone Know What Ricky Gervais' Religious Beliefs Are?

    I've never met Ricky Gervais and I've never been to his house, but I bet it's safe to assume that every room in his home is dedicated to a different spiritual belief. He probably has individuals from every walk of life come over for a dinner party where they share the positive aspects of their beliefs and Ricky just lies in the middle of the circle on the floor and weeps loudly from soaking up all the knowledge from these kind souls. "You never stop learning," I assume he'd mumble through his hypothetical tears. And that's what I admire about Ricky Gervais. He doesn't pretend to have it all figured out. He doesn't take every opportunity humanly possible to remind everyone of his opinion. He's the bad boy of award show hosting, for crying out loud.

    There is nothing in the world more hardcore and edgy than getting up at an awards show and reading a bunch of prewritten zingers about celebrities. It takes real courage. The kind of courage we've only seen from YouTube commenters, Twitter accounts that have two followers and an egg as their profile picture, and bathroom graffiti. He could EASILY use that moment to push a religious agenda, but he doesn't rely on cheap humor for laughs from the lowest common denominator. He's a hero. He rises above and imparts comedic wisdom without settling for the easy route.

    Does Anyone Know What Ricky Gervais' Religious Beliefs Are?

    I don't know what Ricky Gervais believes and, honestly, I don't know if any of us ever will. Maybe there's a close inner circle that he shares his thoughts with, whether it be a rabbi, priest, close friend or demon ghost that lives in a child's closet and wants them to dedicate their firstborn to him like on Paranormal Activity 3. Whatever it is, I hope it makes him happy and fulfilled and that, one day, we'll finally be able to put the pieces together and see what fuels that little light inside of him. God bless Ricky Gervais and his ambiguous religious beliefs.

     

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    That title may be confusing, but we swear, it's not. In fact, it may be the simplest concept ever. Seriously, by the first photo you'll understand what we are talking about completely. Therefore, I'm going to continue to use this space to not explain a damn thing.

    celebrity name puns, celebrity opposite names, will ferrell domesticated

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    celebrity name puns, celebrity opposite names, chris rock paper scissors
    (via Imgur)

    Nothing beats an original: 10 Very Funny Celebrity Name Puns

     

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    Well that's one way to bond with your sister.


    Anna and Lucy DeCinque, 30-year-old twin sisters from Perth, do the typical things that identical twins do -- they dress alike, think alike, and oh, they share the same boyfriend who they hope will get them pregnant at the same time because, as they stated on Australian talk show "The Insight," their bodies "need to be the same."

    "We would try to make that happen, definitely. We are not trying right now -- we love children and kids love us, but it's not the time for us," the twins added. "We would have to be exactly the same -- even if we went through IVF at the same time."

    Well, OK then.

    Ben Byrne, the man who is currently dating both of these women, has been handed the task of impregnating Anna and Lucy at the same time. He's also a twin, but not an identical one. Good luck, Ben.

    Take a look at more pictures of Anna and Lucy thanks to the Instagram they obviously share:

    #colour #playing #pleasure #us#twinsies #instamood #pretty #beautiful #beauty #camera #

    A photo posted by AnnaLucy DeCinque (@annalucydecinque) on




    #blue #brunette #jewelry #hair #dolls #doubletouble #tagforlikes #follows #smile #picoftheday #pictures #

    A photo posted by AnnaLucy DeCinque (@annalucydecinque) on




    #summer#tagforlikes#share#flowers#

    A photo posted by AnnaLucy DeCinque (@annalucydecinque) on


    And here is Anna and Lucy discuss their very, very similar lifestyle in the video below:


    h/t The Lad Bible

    All they share is an Instagram: These Hot Romanian Sisters Have Caught The Internet's Attention With Their Instagram

     

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    Everyone remembers their first time, regardless if it was terrible or not. Losing your virginity is one of those life moments that you keep locked in your memory shack while you go through years and years of trying to convince other people to flop around naked with you. And for the folks below, their first time is defeintely one they won't ever forget.

    Check out these 11 virginity stories posted on Whisper:

    Amazing Virginity Stories

    Amazing Virginity Stories

    Amazing Virginity Stories

    Amazing Virginity Stories

    Amazing Virginity Stories

    Amazing Virginity Stories

    Amazing Virginity Stories

    Amazing Virginity Stories

    Amazing Virginity Stories

    Amazing Virginity Stories

    Amazing Virginity Stories'

    And sometimes it's memorable for the wrong reasons: 10 People Share Embarrassing Stories About Losing Their Virginity

     

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    15 Weird Climax Facts About Orgasms That'll Change How You Look at Sex
    Sex is good. We like sex. Maybe you'll have it later, or not at all. Maybe you're having it right now as you read this amazing collection of weird orgasm facts. But be warned, after reading these weird orgasm facts, you'll never look at sex (or your hands) the same. If that's not the case, you might be more twisted and demented than you give yourself credit for.

    Consider this Sex Ed for adults. Now take your hands off your junk and learn.

    1. The part of the brain stimulated by an orgasm for men is also the same part stimulated when a heroin addict does heroin. It's the part of the brain connected to reward. So congrats on getting yours, bro. Just get laid instead of doing drugs, kids.

    2. There are findings dating back nearly 5,000 years that suggest men, not just women, are capable of multiple orgasms. Did you also know about the "long" history of condoms and sex toys, the latter of which was first used by turning a crank.

    15 Weird Climax Facts About Orgasms That'll Change How You Look at Sex
    3. Hopefully #2 is true, because the average man only needs 2 to 10 minutes to orgasm (75 percent in the first few minutes), whereas the average woman needs 20.

    Worse yet, 80 percent of women cannot get theirs through vaginal intercourse alone, and much, much worse, 20 percent have never achieved one. Get going, boys!

    4. Men can ejaculate without erection. And women can orgasm and not know it.

    15 Weird Climax Facts About Orgasms That'll Change How You Look at Sex
    5. Some women have been known to orgasm during childbirth. That explains the screaming and cussing, along with the whole "human coming out of her body" thing.

    6. It is possible for some to orgasm just by thinking about it...[thinks about orgasming]...nothing. Dammit!

    15 Weird Climax Facts About Orgasms That'll Change How You Look at Sex
    7. People who look like they're in pain during orgasms may look that way because it triggers the same part of the brain as when we actually are in pain. Just the opposite, the part of the brain triggered by fear shuts off.

    8. Orgasms are pain relievers about 10 minutes after they happen. So yes, orgasms have been known to cure a headache, thanks to powerful endorphins that rush in during climax. Just the same, a person's pain threshold is drastically heightened with orgasm.

    15 Weird Climax Facts About Orgasms That'll Change How You Look at Sex
    9. May is National Masturbation Month so it should be a relatively painless, fear-free few weeks for you. If you're feeling outdoorsy, San Francisco hosts a Masturbate-a-Thon at its Center for Sex & Culture.

    10. Sufferers of spinal cord injuries can have orgasms when the sensitive areas around their injury are stimulated. A quadriplegic was noted for reaching orgasm by sucking his thumb.

    11. The average time from climax until the next round is anything close to an hour later, but one 25-year-old German man could be good to go in as little as three minutes. Hey, I knew a kid who jerked off six times in three-and-a-half hours, allegedly.

    15 Weird Climax Facts About Orgasms That'll Change How You Look at Sex
    12. Although the average man only produces about 3.4 ml of sperm, he produces enough sodium and fructose in that sperm to give enough energy for the sperm to swim 28 miles per hour. Not only that, but the sperm also contains zinc, protein, potassium, calcium and chlorine, so the next time you don't want your lady friend to spit, you have good research to quick administer just as you're getting close.

    13. Persistent Genital Arousal Disorder, constant state of arousal with close to 100 orgasms per day with any number of triggers, including standing near loud speakers or on stilettos.

    14. According to a study, 20 percent of women have experienced orgasms while practicing yoga, namely kundalini. So if you were ever in need of more reason to use that Groupon you bought on New Year's Day, there you have it. That, and hot girls in yoga pants.

    15 Weird Climax Facts About Orgasms That'll Change How You Look at Sex
    15. When a brain-dead person is in a comatose state on respirator, they can reach climax when triggered, causing a Lazarus reflex that will allow the person to raise their arms to their chest, which is in close proximity to the orgasm's place of origin (in the spine). So be good to your wives, guys, they might love you even when you're gone.

    Sources:
    Facts.Random History
    Men's Health
    BuzzFeed
    iHeartRadio

     

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    While no one goes to Hooters for the food or the "great" service, it doesn't mean that these gals don't deserve a good tip for making everyone happy. Well, that should be the case, but apparently one Tennessee state representative wasn't too happy because instead of a tip she simply left a "sorry" on the receipt.

    Nashville Hooters waitress Amanda Anderson was left stunned when Republican State Rep. Mary Littleton wrote "sorry" on the receipt. Take a look at the receipt below:


    "State representatives are supposed to exhibit class and integrity ... this one acted like a child," Anderson said on her Facebook.

    I agree. In order to get the awful taste of this story out of our mouths let's take a look at hardworking Amanda Anderson thanks to pictures from her Instagram:


    What waist?

    A photo posted by Amanda Anderson (@ohamandayeah) on


    Good morning nashville. Come see me today :)

    A photo posted by Amanda Anderson (@ohamandayeah) on


    Littleton did explain that Anderson's service didn't merit any tips, but she did express regret writing "sorry." Hey, any gal that walks around in tiny orange shorts and gives me shitty wings deserves a big tip.

    "It is unfortunate that my private note to the server regarding the quality of service in this instance was made public," Littleton explained to the Nashville Scene. "As the mother of someone who has been a server, I know that servers have difficult and demanding jobs and, as such, it is has always been especially important to me that I make sure to tip generously when I receive good service."

    What a terrible explanation. Let's once again take that awful taste out of our mouths with more photos of the best waitress out there:


    ⏳#hooters

    A photo posted by Amanda Anderson (@ohamandayeah) on


    ⏳⌛️⏳

    A photo posted by Amanda Anderson (@ohamandayeah) on


    That's better.

    That's one way to handle things: Ohio Waitress Destroys Customer After Receiving No Tip For 'Flirting' With Her Husband

     

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    Life in the 21st century can get lonely. Since we're all Netflix and chilling, checking Twitter for the latest notification to feel awesome about ourselves and bemoaning that battery meter on our cell phones shrinking to zero, it's pretty easy to feel down. But calm yourselves. Your loneliness is always relative to someone else's, and in some cases, vastly inferior. The following people and things have had it worse than you. So the next time no one's liking your Facebook status, remember these stories.

    1. This crazy Russian spent 14 months alone in space.
    things that will make you feel less lonely, valeri polyakov
    Valeri Polyakov holds the record for longest time spent in a manned spacecraft. He kept himself sane with a strenuous workout regimen. When he landed in Kazakhstan after 437 days alone in space, "he stole a cigarette from a friend nearby, but could hardly be blamed for that," Philip Baker wrote in his book "The Story of Manned Space Stations." "He sipped a small brandy and inwardly celebrated his mission," Baker continued.


    2. This scraggly fisherman was lost at sea for 13 months.
    things that will make you feel less lonely, jose alvarenga
    A shark-fishing expedition went bad. In December 2012, Jose Alvarenga went out in his boat off the coast of Mexico with a teenage companion. The motor died within a day. He was found 14 months later on an atoll in the Marshall Islands, 6,000 miles away. He survived on raw fish, turtles, small birds, sharks and rainwater. Alvarenga has claimed his companion died within four weeks because he couldn't stomach drinking turtle blood. However, as of December 2015, he is being sued for $1 million by the family for cannibalism.


    3. This dude spent 43 years in solitary confinement.
    things that will make you feel less lonely, albert woodfox solitary confinement
    Albert Woodfox was convicted of killing a prison guard in 1972. He has maintained his innocence. "I learned how strong the human spirit can be, that the change has to come from within," Woodfox told the Times Picayune. "I learned that although human beings do horrible things sometimes, they still have worth," he went on. Woodfox was released in February.


    4. This is Voyager 1, and he's been chilling out in space for the past 38 years.
    things that will make you feel less lonely, voyager 1
    Voyager 1 recently crossed the heliopause and entered interstellar space. It's the first spacecraft to go this far. Here's a picture it took of Earth.


    5. This Native American woman lived alone on a remote California island from 1835 to 1853.
    things that will make you feel less lonely, juana maria, lone woman of san nicolas island
    She lost her name, her language and her tribe. Known only as Juana Maria, she spent 18 years as the "Lone Woman of San Nicolas Island." As the story goes, Russian otter poachers invaded San Nicolas Island -- a small island 53 miles off the coast of California -- and decimated the native Nicoleño tribe. A group of missionaries who heard of the news went to help the survivors, and they brought them all back to live at the San Gabriel Mission in Santa Barbara. All except one.

    A hunter came to San Nicolas in 1853 and found a lone Native woman living in a hut made of whale bones and surviving on seal blubber. When he brought her back to the mainland, no local Native Americans could translate her language. After seven weeks in the "real world," Juana Maria contracted dysentery and died.


    6. Migaloo, the only white humpback whale on Earth (until 2011).
    things that will make you feel less lonely, migaloo white humpback whale
    Since 1991, a strange white humpback whale has been migrating past Australia's east coast, baffling researchers. For 20 years, he was the only known white humpback ever seen. That is, until September 2011, when scientists witnessed a fully white baby born. They named it Migaloo, Jr.

    But don't be saddened by Migaloo's lonely predicament. He has a Facebook fan page, so all is well.


    7. The Apollo 13 crew flew to the dark side of the moon, the furthest any human beings have ever been from the planet.
    things that will make you feel less lonely, apollo 13
    Houston, we have a record. The Apollo 13 team starring Jim Lovell, Jack Swigert and Fred Haise circled the moon en route to Earth. They were 148 miles from the lunar surface and 248,655 miles from us. It is a record that has spanned more than four decades, since April 1970.


    8. This tribe has lived on a tiny remote island for 60,000 years, unscathed and uninfluenced by the outside world.
    things that will make you feel less lonely, sentinelese people
    The Sentinelese people are perhaps the most unique, uncontacted tribe in the world. They have thwarted outsiders from reaching their shores for the past 1,000 years. Every time an expedition attempts to infiltrate their island, the Sentinelese shoot curtains of arrows at them to dissuade their presence.

    In 1974, a team from National Geographic tried to visit the island, only to have a barrage of arrows flung their way. The director of the expedition caught one in the leg. Expedition over. In 2006, two fishermen who moored their boat off Sentinel Island overnight had a faulty anchor which propelled them to the island as they slept. They were killed and buried in shallow graves.


    9. This sleeping beauty spent 19 years in a coma.
    things that will make you feel less lonely, terry wallis coma
    In July 1984, Terry Wallis drove his car off a bridge and into a ravine. His friend died. He woke up in 2003 and thought Ronald Reagan was president, and that he was still 19 years old. His first words were "Mom" followed by "Pepsi" and "milk."


    10. Curiosity Rover sings "Happy Birthday" to itself every year on Mars.
    things that will make you feel less lonely, curiosity rover mars
    It doesn't exactly have a voice, but it does sound like Wall-E. Yes, NASA programmed Curiosity to beep the tune of "Happy Birthday" every year. Before it turned one, Curiosity took more than 70,000 images and over 75,000 laser shots on Mars. Clever girl. Here's what it sounds like beeping away on that lonely red planet 40 million miles away.


    11. This guy.
    things that will make you feel less lonely, august landmesser
    He was in a relationship with a Jewish woman and refused to give a Nazi salute aboard the Horst Wessel on June 13, 1936. His name was August Landmesser, and he was killed two years later.


    12. Locked-In Syndrome.
    things that will make you feel less lonely, locked-in syndrome
    Have you ever thought about what it would be like to be a prisoner in your own body? Those who suffer from locked-in syndrome cannot move a muscle or communicate, yet they are completely conscious. It's like sleep paralysis, except indefinite and probably really f--king horrible.


    13. The lone winter caretaker of Yellowstone National Park.
    things that will make you feel less lonely, steve fuller yellowstone
    When he applied for the job in 1973, he was the only applicant. It paid a measly $13.24 a day, but he took it anyway. For the past 42 years, Steve Fuller has been the caretaker for Yellowstone National Park. It's like something out of "The Shining," except Fuller seems to show no indications of psychopathy: "Never had cabin fever," he told CBS. "Never been bored," he went on. And he doesn't even own a TV. What a freak.


    14. This dude has been living completely isolated from the rest of the world in the Chilean mountains for the past 50 years.
    things that will make you feel less lonely, faustino barrientos
    Faustino Barrientos finds simple joy in being alone. He has lived in one of the most remote parts of the world since 1965. He works as a rancher and a shepherd, and is kept company by sparkling turquoise Patagonian lakes and radio. Telling Vice in 2011, "I don't need money. I have enough to eat. Life seems to be better when you're alone."


    15. There are only 57 Amur leopards left in the world.
    things that will make you feel less lonely, amur leopard
    It's the most critically endangered species. Imagine if there were only 57 people left.

     

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    By now, everyone knows that Johnny Manziel is a useless piece of garbage (to put it nicely of course), but there is one person in the Manziel family who still matters: his hot sister.


    Meri Manziel is the 21-year-old younger sister of Johnny. And now that Johnny is out of a job and out of the picture, Meri can get the attention she deserves.

    Take a look at more of Meri thanks to photos from her Instagram:

    Adios cabo✌️🍹

    A photo posted by Meri-Margaret Manziel (@mmanziel) on


    Happy 4th my peeps✌️🇺🇸

    A photo posted by Meri-Margaret Manziel (@mmanziel) on


    A Drop in the Ocean

    A photo posted by Meri-Margaret Manziel (@mmanziel) on


    Good morning NYC✨

    A photo posted by Meri-Margaret Manziel (@mmanziel) on


    ☀️🐥

    A photo posted by Meri-Margaret Manziel (@mmanziel) on



    It's game day in Cabo🏈 Let's go brownies Sorry I chose the beach over you Bubba😉 @jmanziel2

    A photo posted by Meri-Margaret Manziel (@mmanziel) on


    h/t Maxim

    More hot sisters: These Hot Romanian Sisters Have Caught The Internet's Attention With Their Instagram

     

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    The Golden State Warriors are absolutely destroying the NBA this year. The more they continue to thrash through the rest of the league, the more comparisons they draw to the greatest single season team of all-time. The 1995-96 Chicago Bulls ran up a 72-10 regular season record en route to their first of three consecutive championships. That team sported the greatest player of all time in Michael Jordan as well as two other Hall of Famers, Scottie Pippen and Dennis Rodman.

    So, who is better? Well, it's impossible to compare different eras (especially since MJ would've averaged about 50 points per game with the current hand-checking rules), but it's worth looking at all of the matchups between the two teams to come up with a winner.

    Look, Steph Curry is like a video game right now and Klay Thompson could go down as one of the greatest shooters in NBA history. Just don't forget that the Bulls team made it's name on defense and Pippen could shut down anyone from the opposing point guard to the opposing center. When you look at Jordan's, Pippen's and Rodman's versatility and athleticism on defense, you have to figure they'd put up way more resistance to this Warriors offensive juggernaut than any current team. So yes, when you go all the way down the line, it definitely seems like Golden State has more depth. But that big three in Chicago sure looks like it would make sure to come out on top in one, winner take all series.

    What do you think?

    chicago bulls, golden state warrriors

     

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    For his photo series titled "Beauty And NYC," Japanese photographer Mar Shirasuna somehow convinced a bunch of models to balance on the edge of some of the tallest skyscrapers in New York City.


    Shirasuna has been shooting in NYC for over three years, and his work can be seen in his exhibit "NYC from Above."

    Shirasuna wanted to give people a different perspective when he thought up this idea: "I wanted a fresh view of New York City, so I climbed to the rooftops of 150 different buildings around town to find cityscapes I had never seen before, and found views that I don't think many New Yorkers have even had the chance to see," Shirasuna tells NY Daily News.

    Take a look at some of Shirasuna's crazy photo series courtesy of his Instagram:

    @mrndapnda x @beautyandnyc #tbt

    A photo posted by Mar (@mamudsny) on


    flatiron.. @missalexiaofficial #wcw @beautyandnyc

    A photo posted by Mar (@mamudsny) on


    @beautyandnyc x #beautyandnyc

    A photo posted by Mar (@mamudsny) on


    A photo posted by Mar (@mamudsny) on


    megan @meganprincesswook

    A photo posted by Mar (@mamudsny) on


    winter gone.. @beautyandnyc

    A photo posted by Mar (@mamudsny) on


    beauties and nyc @rosehan10 @ruthiehanan x @beautyandnyc

    A photo posted by Mar (@mamudsny) on


    flannel shirt 2..

    A photo posted by Mar (@mamudsny) on



    A photo posted by Mar (@mamudsny) on



    beauty & nyc #beautyandnyc

    A photo posted by Mar (@mamudsny) on


    @gul_bahari x new york city #beautyandnyc

    A photo posted by Mar (@mamudsny) on


    Anything for that perfect photo: Some Photographers Will Do Whatever It Takes to Get the Shot

     

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    It's been a while since I was in school, but I still remember what a shitty feeling it was to realize I had numerous essays to write in a short amount of time (usually all in one night). So I understand that essay writing can get tedious. That's why Brandon Knight spiced things up by writing what may very well be the greatest essay introduction ever.

    Is This The Best Essay Introduction Ever?
    It's a bummer Professor Boardman didn't recognize the greatness of this.

    Via Distractify

    These students are also going places: These Are The 20 Most Hilarious Students Of All Time

     

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    Mike Judge and the rest of the geniuses behind the movie "Idiocracy" made one glaring mistake when they created their masterpiece 10 years ago, as they predicted the human race would be dumber than a box of shit 500 years from now.

    This video is Exhibit A in the argument that it didn't take that long, as we are already there in 2016, fellas:


    So, I guess technically Judge and his pals are right in that if we're already this stupid in 2016, then we're obviously going to absolute morons almost 500 years from now (brought to you by Carl's Jr).

    Now here's hoping that guy is still alive.

    h/t Barstool Sports

    I'm telling you, it's in every corner of the globe, bro: Australian Man Trying To Cross Tracks Almost Gets Smoked By Train

     

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    Well, looks like mom passed her good genes on.

    Warm weather and @baesandbikinis

    A photo posted by Ava Sambora (@avasambora) on


    We are all very familiar with Heather Locklear, but we don't know too much about Heather's daughter, 18-year-old Ava Sambora. If that last name sounds familiar it is because Ava's dad is Richie Sambora of the band Bon Jovi -- the only thing you know about New Jersey.

    Ava is a bikini model, and it seems she may be aiming to be just as popular as her famous parents. Take a look at more of Ava thanks to her photos on Instagram:

    Mermaid hair is back

    A photo posted by Ava Sambora (@avasambora) on


    All smiles in my @baesandbikinis bikini set 👼🏼

    A photo posted by Ava Sambora (@avasambora) on


    Little preview from @baesandbikinis 👼🏼

    A photo posted by Ava Sambora (@avasambora) on


    🌞 A not so chilly winter break 🌞

    A photo posted by Ava Sambora (@avasambora) on


    Not a bad place to be (;

    A photo posted by Ava Sambora (@avasambora) on


    Xx

    A photo posted by Ava Sambora (@avasambora) on


    h/t Someecards

    Here's another rocker's hot daughter: Elvis Presley's Hot Granddaughter Riley Keough Has Us All Shook Up

     

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    Painful? Obviously. Unethical? Probably. But make no mistake about it, gentlemen. That is definitely an effective way to make sure he doesn't advance the ball.

    According to Deadspin, a French rugby player had quite the scare during a match last month after an opposing player nearly ripped his dick off of his body while making a tackle.


    Haydn Peacock (seriously, that's his name) said the pain he experienced during and after the tallywacker tackle was "alright," but it wasn't until he took a look at his hog at halftime that he knew something was seriously wrong.

    "I checked on it and the skin is half ripped off and I was like, 'Shit, where's the doctor? Where's the doctor?'"

    Peacock needed 11 stitches to repair his mangled cock, but it sounds like everything is going to be OK with the little guy. And kudos to his teammates, who were reportedly "pissing themselves laughing" after taking a peek at the aftermath instead of lynching the asshole who nearly destroyed Peacock's reason for living.

    A penis as a ping pong paddle? Yup, a penis as a ping pong paddle: Naked Man Playing Ping Pong Uses His Penis As A Paddle (Extremely NSFW)

     

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    Here's a superhero you probably won't see at ComicCon this year.

    According to The Smoking Gun, some dude dressed as a ninja and wearing a sweet set of Vibram FiveFingers kicks has been masturbating outside of the same Seattle residence since January, scaring and likely scarring the bejesus out of the University of Washington students who live there.

    One of the women who lives there called 911 in January when she spotted the "masked masturbator" punching his clown "outside the front door of her home." Then in February, a night vision camera captured the dude once again burping his worm outside of the door.

    Seattle masked masturbator
    Seattle masked masturbator
    Police said the students have "heard suspicious sounds outside their house on several other occasions" and think the same dude is responsible for those incidents, as well. In all, authorities believe the monkey spanker has yanked his crank outside of the home at least four times.

    In a related story, if you know the poor kids who live at this house and have a group study session there later this week, you might want to think about entering the home through the window. Either that, or let them open the door from the inside when you get there.

    Masturbating in public is usually reserved for Florida Man: Florida Man Arrested For Masturbating Inside A Burger King

     

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    world's greatest tribute bands promo, katie daryl
    "The World's Greatest Tribute Bands," the epic tribute band TV show hosted by Katie Daryl (always in tiny tight dresses I might add), can be seen live nationwide on AXS TV Wednesday nights at 10pm EST / 7pm PST.

    Season 6 will feature tributes to acts like Rush, Billy Idol, Sublime and even Pink Floyd on 4/20 with the band Which One's Pink playing Dark Side Of The Moon in it's entirety. Dare we say "Smoke 'em if you got 'em?"

    Tune in this Wednesday, March 16 to satisfy all your Axl and Slash cravings thanks to Appetite for Deception's tribute to GnR!

    To see the full line up or to get free tickets to be part of the live TV audience click here.

    world's greatest tribute bands

     

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    Shooter McGavin might be a big fan of Kate Quigley because she's hysterical and tweets funny one-liners such as "I'd rather have a guy tell me he has herpes than tell me he's trying to be a DJ." Or Shooter McGavin might be a big fan of Kate Quigley because she posts pictures like this on her Instagram:

    A photo posted by Kate Quigley (@kateqfunny) on


    Either way, we know for sure that Shooter McGavin (aka Christopher McDonald) was definitely in a happy place when he found Kate Quigley hitting golf balls while wearing just a bikini at a recent $10 million hole-in-one challenge in Las Vegas thanks to this video.


    "I think he's in your happy place." Dynamite drop-in from Jenn Sterger, the young lady made famous for not letting Brett Favre or his penis into her happy place.

    h/t TMZ

    Look what you did, you little jerk: The Biggest Douchebags From 90s Movies

     

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    And he suffered the same fate as Wile E. Coyote did every time he tried to drive through those damn things.

    According to Mirror, a man attempting to drive his Fiat through what he was thought was a tunnel instead crashed his car because it turned out to be a painting of a tunnel on a wall.

    guy tries driving through painted roadrunner tunnel
    The accident happened a few months ago despite the fact that the graffiti artist also painted a large depiction of the Looney Tunes Road Runner next to the tunnel.

    Even funnier than somebody thinking that was actually a real tunnel? You guessed it: The comments left on Imgur after one "rburn" posted the photos.

    "Nice to see that Wile E. Coyote finally got his driver's license," said EvilGenomic.

    "This is why we can't have nice things," added CoalCuts.

    And of course our favorite: "He's lucky, a train could've come out of there," courtesy of Greub.

    This guy wrecked his ride because he was punching his clown: Michigan Man Was Masturbating To Porn On His Phone Before Fatal Crash

     

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