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Articles on this Page
- 05/16/16--12:11: _So, Asking A Bounce...
- 05/16/16--12:38: _The First U.S. Peni...
- 05/16/16--13:35: _Dad Hilariously Fre...
- 05/16/16--14:27: _April Rose Goes Nut...
- 05/17/16--03:24: _11 Hoarder Cases Th...
- 05/17/16--04:13: _Today's Funny Photos
- 05/17/16--04:18: _The 9 Dumbest Frat...
- 05/17/16--05:50: _These People Forgot...
- 05/17/16--06:31: _10 Reality TV Stars...
- 05/17/16--07:26: _U.S. Politician Lea...
- 05/17/16--07:50: _7 Sports Team Logos...
- 05/17/16--08:58: _'If Meat Eaters Act...
- 05/17/16--09:23: _Brittany Daniel Is ...
- 05/17/16--09:50: _11 Movies That Remi...
- 05/17/16--10:18: _Sex Roulette Partie...
- 05/17/16--11:15: _Russian Knight At M...
- 05/17/16--11:39: _Can You Count How M...
- 05/17/16--13:18: _This Woman Uses F...
- 05/17/16--16:26: _Young Man Savagely ...
- 05/18/16--04:07: _Today's Funny Photos
- 05/16/16--12:11: So, Asking A Bouncer To Punch You In The Face Is A Terrible Idea
- 05/16/16--12:38: The First U.S. Penis Transplant Ever Was Just Done
- 05/16/16--14:27: April Rose Goes Nuts For American Muscle Cars
- 05/17/16--03:24: 11 Hoarder Cases That Will Make You Puke
- 05/17/16--04:13: Today's Funny Photos
- 05/17/16--04:18: The 9 Dumbest Frat Guys Ever
- 05/17/16--05:50: These People Forgot That The Internet Calls You Out On Everything
- 05/17/16--06:31: 10 Reality TV Stars Who Died Horrible Deaths
- 05/17/16--07:26: U.S. Politician Leaves Porn Tabs Open In Facebook Post
- 05/17/16--07:50: 7 Sports Team Logos That May Have Secret Messages In Them
- 05/17/16--09:23: Brittany Daniel Is 40 Years Old And Still Rocking A Hot Body
- 05/17/16--09:50: 11 Movies That Remind Us Kids Are Out To Kill Us All
- 05/17/16--11:15: Russian Knight At Medieval Fair Takes Out Drone With His Spear
- 05/17/16--16:26: Young Man Savagely Burns Hillary Clinton In Snapchat Selfie With Her
- 05/18/16--04:07: Today's Funny Photos
WARNING: VIDEO CONTAINS GRAPHIC VIOLENCE
I'm done wondering why most nightclub bouncers act like they're the second coming of Christ and pretend that you don't exist while you wait in line and politely ask them how long they think it will be before you get inside to buy a $20 Jack and Coke.
The answer is simple, as for every polite and courteous guy like me waiting patiently to get my foot in the door, there are six million assholes like this guy who managed to get kicked out of a club in Philadelphia over the weekend.
I mean, do you know how hard it is to get kicked out of a bar in Philly?
Anyway, it looks as though the dude in this clip tried making a deal with the bouncer to get back into Coda on Walnut Street and thought that being on the receiving end of a punch from that bouncer was a good idea to include in that deal.
It was not.
h/t Barstool Sports
Being a bouncer in Canada looks like it totally worth it: Here's All The Crap Bouncers At A Canadian Night Club Had To Deal With On New Year's Eve
And now Irish guys like myself sit back and hope that the procedure is a massive success.
According to CNN, a team of more than 50 surgeons, doctors and nurses at Massachusetts General Hospital needed 15 hours to perform the first gentitourinary vascularized composite allograft in the United States earlier this month.
Or in other words, 64-year-old Thomas Manning (not pictured) is all smiles because he has a new penis.
Sadly, Manning was diagnosed with penile cancer in 2012 and had his manhood amputated as a result. But Dr. Curtis L. Cetrulo says the "landmark procedure" that he led seems to have gone smoothly, so much so that Manning should be able to leave the hospital in a few days.
There have been no signs of bleeding, rejection or infection so far, and Manning will be taking "immunosupressing drugs" for the rest of his life to make sure things stay that way. The drugs could also help nerves regrow, something that will contribute to Manning regaining full function -- even of the sexual variety -- of his penis.
The first ever penis transplant was performed 18 months ago in South Africa, and things have gone so well in that case that the patient's girlfriend is pregnant, which means that somebody somewhere likely lost a bet.
They're not going to be doing many of these surgeries in Ecuador: Which Country Has the Biggest Dicks In The World?
What do you get when you take a sick toddler, a father with a weak stomach, a concerned bystander and mix in a visit from the police?
A hysterical barf story sent to the mother via text is the answer.
Ben Patterson posted on this Facebook page on Friday morning, "Last night I was supposed to watch the kids, so my wife and I swapped cars after work so she could head out with some friends. On the way home, projectile vomit occurred, and then the police got involved. And the whole time my wife wasn't answering her phone."
Enjoy the epic puke tale as it went down below.
via Facebook, h/t Scary Mommy
April Rose is blasting us with her wicked car smarts this May. Both bare skinned and bikini covered, she gives us a taste of what she likes in an American classic car: muscle. If you're rocking a speed machine, a late '60s beauty or one of these classic cars from classic films, there's a decent chance April will lay across your hood in hot ripped jean shorts. Here's to riding some shiny American classics, and some classic cars, too. Now get all revved up with April Rose this summer.
A House Brimming With Poop
Her toilet broke, so Shanna decided to poop and pee in containers for 12 years straight. "My mother used to put poop in a jug," she said. Apparently it runs in the family. In 2012, when the cleaning specialists from "Hoarders" arrived to her home, Shanna didn't notice the same house they did. Hundreds of jugs littered the house, creating what she described as a "musty odor." It wasn't must. It was fecal matter. Perhaps her olfactory glands were too damaged to notice the epic stink in her abode, but as she confessed, "I've been eating poop for the past 12 years." Shanna's case is widely considered the worst to ever happen on "Hoarders."
100 Dead Cats
Meet Terry. Terry loved cats so much that when they died, she stuffed them in her refrigerator in hopes to one day cremate them. That day never came. Many of them liquefied. "I really feel like the reason I collect cats is that I have this feeling in me that I'm helping save something," said the Hanover, IL local. They found 50 cats living in her home, which was caked with feline feces. Those that died over the years found an icy grave where she kept her food.
Glen is a humble self-employed crusty surfer dude who lives in Southern California. In the beginning, he had three rats -- one male and two females. In 2009, they escaped from their cage and burrowed into the walls of his home. Two years later, there were 2,500 of them. "I readily admit that I have way too many rats," he confessed. Glen had to begin sleeping in his office because the rats would chew his hair while he slept to curate nesting material. After his "Hoarders" episode, the Humane Society eventually removed 2,000 from his home, and the rest were either adopted or given away. Except for two, his favorites, whom he named Commander Whitehead and Captain Brown Bottom.
300 Gallons of Urine
In 2013, authorities in Newtown, Connecticut, received an anonymous tip that a neighbor was a sketched-out hoarder of epic proportions. When they arrived to the house, an acrid stench punched them in the nose. The owner escaped through the backdoor before they showed up. They found 300 opaque jugs filled with brownish liquid later determined to be human urine. For two years, this man pissed into containers like Howard Hughes in his 82 Berkshire Road residence, which seems rural enough. But it still begs the question, why not pop a squat in the woods?
240 Sex Dolls
Two senior citizens aged 65 and 70 out of Herefordshire, United Kingdom, have an eccentric hobby. Bob and Lizzie Gibbins have collected a total of 240 love dolls. While not exactly puke-worthy, what is puke-worthy is the fact that the couple has spent $160,000 amassing their ungodly number of love dolls. And we can surely speculate that old Bob has cheated on Lizzie at least once or twice with his silicone harem.
30 Dead Horses
Ironically, Caroline Vaughn was running an animal rescue operation. In April 2013, police descended upon her property to find 30 dead horses. It was one of the worst cases of animal cruelty ever witnessed in Oklahoma, and they described the remaining living horses as "walking skeletons." In addition, they found 28 dogs, several goats, a parrot and a chinchilla. Vaughn was tossed in jail with a $100,000 bond.
The Great Jenkem Bust of 2011
A resident of an apartment complex in Fort Pierce, FL noticed a smell from the street emanating from the building. Louisker Louisjuene -- no, we don't know who would name their son Louisker, either -- followed the smell to a window on the first floor, where he saw brown fetid nastiness dripping from the walls. It was poo. Jenkem, to be exact. As it's known on the streets, jenkem is fermented excrement kept in bottles used to get high. The euphoria of huffing it is likened to that of cocaine. After finding dozens of poo bottles and butt butter spread across the mattresses and floors, the building was condemned. Poor Louisker was even forced to move out, thanks to one jenkem enthusiast who has since been on the lamb.
Bats, Cats, Rats and Trash
An elderly man broke his hip in January 2014, and when police arrived to his North Philadelphia home, they found what could only be described as a "horror show." Philly SPCA director George Bengal had some useful color commentary on the matter: "If you can imagine flushing your toilet for five or six years and this is all where it goes, that's what the house looks like inside." There were four dead cats and hoards of bats flapping around. And of course, the obligatory dung. "I would swear this guy had a feces fetish. Rubber pans were overflowing with feces and packed up from ceiling to floor. I've been in some horrible houses -- this was unspeakable," Bengal reiterated.
33 Condoms Full of Semen
In some parts of Africa, semen is sometimes hoarded to keep bad spirits at bay. It's viewed as good luck, regenerating life, therefore offering new life to those condemned to a life of grief. Or something like that. In 2011, three Zimbabwe women ages 24, 24 and 26 were arrested for raping at least 17 men. They kept their man-seed inside their car. Most of the men were hitchhikers, and they were given drinks laced with tranquilizer. Some testified that they were held at gunpoint by the female rapists. In 2012, the three ladies were acquitted of all charges. It's unknown whether they were allowed to keep the semen.
120 Tons of Junk
The Collyer Brothers of Harlem who lived during the Great Depression were perhaps the first jaw-dropping hoarders held under the microscope of public scrutiny. After they died together only two weeks apart, police excavated 120 tons of random stuff from their brownstone. The brothers couldn't live in the house like normal people, so like rats, they created "nests" within the debris. How did they die? Homer died of starvation; Langley died of being crushed to death by falling objects trying to save his brother. The police couldn't enter the place because 240,000 pounds of crap blocked the door, but they uncovered perhaps the greatest yard sale stockpile in history, including 25,000 books, eight cats, human organs pickled in jars, thousands of empty bottles, countless decades-old newspapers and a whole bunch of other loot that could fill up a Costco.
Janet Pallone Delatorre panicked when her 98-year-old mother died in 2010. She thought the cops would think she killed her, given the state of her hoarder's palace from hell. So she let her mummify for four years in her own bed up until June 2014 when police found her. Janet Sr. was still gripping her blanket.
Funny photos. You know you want them. And you know we got them. So here we are. Everyone getting and giving what they want. Isn't life beautiful sometimes? When you're done here, check us out on Instagram and Twitter.
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While I could probably find room for most of my old frat brothers on this list (more on at least one of them later), it'd be best if we moved on from the greater Syracuse area. It's not like we never tried to smash a board or two over our heads, but at least we didn't film it like these intellectuals, presumably from our nation's second oldest university, William & Mary. Who else would make a game of breaking boards over your buddies' foreheads (besides maybe high school dudes who long to be frat guys)? Sadly, the second participant in this mind game doesn't understand the goal is to hit your brother's forehead, not his nose. See, it only takes one bad apple to turn an innocent slug fest into a trip to the medical center.
Odds are good, if you're in a fraternity, that you've humiliated your parents on more than one occasion. But if you embarrassed your folks on the level of Brady Eaves, then please let us know about that story in the comments, because you should be on this list. Young Brady got a little crazy on spring break last year. After getting a hamster all goofed up on weed and vodka, Brady was filmed biting its head off, hucking the fuzzy little body over a fence, and then squealing with laughter. This couldn't have pleased his stepdad, John Arthur Eaves Jr., a loser in the Mississippi governor campaign in 2007 turned big-time pro-life lawyer. Still, eat your heart out Ozzy.
The International Man of Stupidity
The University of Virginia's own Theta Chi Otto Frederick Warmbier reportedly got himself arrested in North Korea for committing "activities against the state" after staying up drinking until 5 a.m. before his 7 a.m. flight back to China was supposed to leave. Obviously, Otto didn't make the flight, presumably because he was a loud, obnoxious drunk. Or, perhaps, because he was hungover. Then again, maybe the North Koreans are right and he really is a spy. Either way, what the hell are you doing in North Korea if you can't handle your booze? That's international incident stupid.
Setting Himself on Fire Guy
Buddy, what are you doing? First of all, you're drinking alone at a frat party, which means you can't even get any of your stunted bros to take the flaming shot with you. And then you go ahead and throw the shot all over your face, which is admittedly a good strategy when someone is peer pressuring and you've had enough. Unless, of course, that shot is flaming. Which this one is, because, if you'll recall, you lit it. Fortunately, you knew right where the sink was (presumably from yacking in it a few minutes ago). Your face came very close to melting off, but hey, at least you're not a pussy.
The brothers at Penn State's Kappa Delta Rho fraternity got suspended last year for having a secret Facebook group set up to share house business. This included community service plans and nudes of passed out girls unaware they were being filmed. So everyone in that house, or at least in that group, is not just dumb, but also sleazy. And likely evil. But the dumbest (and douchiest) of the bunch has to be the guy interviewed by Philadelphia Magazine, who anonymously defended his brothers by basically saying it was all in the name of fun, and everyone else sexually harasses women, too, including Bill Clinton. Sadly, that kind of baseless, blameless thinking will likely get him far ahead in the business world.
These Zeta-something E-somethings playing slap-for-slap can't even do it right. First of all, It's called punch-for-punch. And while I may have been on the wrong end of one too many punch-for-punch nights, one of which may or may not have ended with my eye not opening and my face in my buddy's throw-up-filled Yellow Pages, but at least I'm not dumb enough to play the game wrong. So in my mind, these open-handers make the list, not me.
Flamingo Double Homicide
As part of a Pi Kappa Alpha scavenger hunt, University of Southern Mississippi freshman pledge Devin Nottis broke into the local zoo, tried to steal a flamingo, got in a fight with its pissed off mate, and ended up killing both birds. And he wasn't even supposed to actually flamingo-nap in the first place; the scavenger hunt just required him to take a picture of the poor little birdies. This takes stupidity well past funny, and into frightening, murderous territory.
Huge Fans of the Nashville Predators
Look, I'm not saying these freshmen girls welcoming signs aren't hilarious, but you have to admit, the rowdy bunch at Old Dominion University who hung them weren't really using their thinking caps. They were suspended after the pictures went viral. Certainly, I can see how the signs could be viewed as offensive, and might even foster the rape culture that festers in the Greek system, but hopefully these bros were just joking around and they actually know the difference between right and wrong. That way, I just get to think of the poor dads dropping off their daughters at college for the first time, and how terrified these signs must have made them. Come on, that's funny, right? Well, if not, then the signs posted the next day at Ohio State University -- "Dads, we'll take it from here" and "Daughter daycare 2.0" -- must be. Right? Please tell me that's funny. If that's not funny, I have to recalibrate my whole morality system.
Of course that's not his real name; who could possibly have such a simple name? Certainly not the complex legend I speak of -- the inspiration for this list -- whose identity I'm hiding since he now runs a highly successful manufacturing company. But back in school, Big John Smith was raising our frat guy game to new levels of idiocy. He was a frat guy of great renown, who inspired those around him to be better frat guys. He was the kind who could tip the scales on a Kill-a-Keg event in your house's favor with wacky antics like funneling pots of hot coffee, doing milky bong loads through his nose, or playing keg "Donkey Kong" with empty steel keg barrels (like the genius in the video above). He jumped off high things, broke bones, but never stopped partying. And in the end, it made all of us better partiers because of it.
Have you ever seen a social media post that you so badly wanted to destroy, yet you held back because you didn't want all the drama that might go with it? Well, the following people did what you couldn't, and they should be considered heroes. So browse these amazing call-outs at your leisure and take note, because there's not enough ointment in the world for the caliber of burns you are about to witness.
(via The Chive)
Related: Guy Mocks Girlfriend's Ex-Husband, Karma Quickly Takes Care Of Him
Mark and Debra Constantino
You have to have a certain mentality to get filmed hunting for ghosts. Mark Constantino and his wife Debra were two of the investigators on "Ghost Adventures" on the Travel Channel, which featured assorted credulous buffoons poking around in the dark with infrared cameras looking for ectoplasm. However, in September 2015 Mark decided to get a little bit closer to the spirit world and bring Debra with him. She had recently filed for divorce, which pushed Mark over the line. She responded with a restraining order. That was the last straw for Mark, and he went to her apartment, murdered her roommate, kidnapped his wife and took her to a third location where he shot her in the head and then killed himself with a SWAT team outside.
MTV's "Buckwild" was a low point, even for a network that seems to specialize in them. The show profiled a group of self-professed West Virginia rednecks as they hunted squirrels, swam in mud and got busted for prescription drug abuse. It was a ratings hit, but the show got canceled a month after premiering when one of its stars, Shain "Gandee Candy" Gandee, got trapped inside a Ford Bronco stuck in the mud and died of carbon monoxide poisoning. Apparently the exhaust pipe was clogged and the SUV filled up with the gas. Gandee and the other two men in the car were coming home from a bar at 3 in the morning, which possibly explains why none of them thought to open a window.
Having Gordon Ramsay scream at you in your restaurant sounds like a pretty miserable affair, and it should come as no surprise that many of the places fixed up on "Kitchen Nightmares" end up going out of business anyway. For Joseph Cerniglia, owner of Campania in New Jersey, the decline of his beloved restaurant was too much to bear. Three years after his appearance on the show, Cerniglia walked to the middle of the iconic George Washington Bridge and jumped to his death in the Hudson River. Uncomfortably, one of the lines that Gordon had used on him during the episode was "Your business is about to f---ing swim down the Hudson."
We can only imagine what would make somebody think that they could find love on ABC's long-running "The Bachelorette." Julien Hug, who competed for the heart of Jillian Harris during season 5, was an adventurous fellow from Southern California. He was eliminated in the second episode, and following the show battled depression. While driving to the Palm Springs area to help his parents open a restaurant, it became too much for him. Hug pulled off the road in Pinyon Pines and shot himself in the head. He left a suicide note for his family, writing, "I feel awful and don't know how to cope. If life's not enjoyable, why stick around?"
Known as the "Legal Diva," Loredana Nesci starred on the Sundance Channel's "Loredana, Esq," a show about the former LAPD officer turned defense attorney. Her reality TV career was cut short in 2015 when police responded to a 911 call to find Nesci's dead body. The caller was her boyfriend Robert Reagan, who was also the assailant. He stabbed her four times with a hunting knife, once hard enough to completely pierce her body and come out the back, and waited four hours before calling the cops. The boyfriend tried to claim that the stabbing was in self-defense -- he was trying to "wrestle away" the hunting knife but Nesci was too strong for him. His case goes to trial later this year.
"The Contender," first airing in 2005, was one of the more interesting reality concepts we've seen, following 16 boxers as they compete to see who's the best. One of those boxers was Najai Turpin, a Philadelphia-born welterweight with a 13-1 professional record. After the show was filmed but before the premiere, a despondent Turpin (who had washed out of the show early after losing to the much taller Sergio Mora) shot himself in the head in front of his girlfriend Angela Chapple. People who knew him said that he was upset at not being allowed to fight because it would spoil the ending of the show. In addition, he had been arguing with Chapple over custody of their daughter.
It's kind of ironic in a really grim way to be covering the awful death of a contestant from "Survivor," but we'll get through it. Caleb Bankston became a star on the 27th season of the long-running competition, subtitled Blood Vs. Water. The show marooned couples on Palaui Island, and returning contestant Colton Crumbie was joined by his fiance Caleb Bankston. Although the pair didn't last long (Caleb was voted off 9th) they were good guys and America grew to love them. The year after the show, Caleb was working as a railroad engineer when a freak accident caused him to be crushed between cars when a train jumped the tracks.
The boys from MTV's "Jackass" were well known for pushing the limits, but Ryan Dunn probably shouldn't have done so with his blood alcohol level. Dunn was known for putting his body on the line in a panoply of bizarre stunts, from putting a Matchbox car up his butt to jumping into a tank of raw sewage. When he plowed his Porsche 911 into a guardrail at 130 miles per hour, his BAC was a staggering .196 -- over twice the legal limit. Dunn's fatal crash also took the life of passenger Zachary Hartwell, a production assistant on the second "Jackass" movie.
We can't think of a fate worse than being a husband of one of the "Real Housewives" and bankrolling the disastrous vanities of attention-seeking women on TV. For Russell Armstrong, husband of Taylor Armstrong from "Real Housewives of Beverly Hills," things just got worse and worse. After accumulating debts reportedly reaching $1.5 million and splitting from his spouse of six years, the embattled Armstrong hung himself from a wooden beam in his bedroom with an electrical cord. In his last interview, he commented that being on TV "took our manageable problems and made them worse."
You have to sort of be a sociopath to go on a dating show, but "Megan Wants A Millionaire" bachelor Ryan Jenkins took that a step too far. The real estate investor met model Jasmine Fiore in Vegas shortly after filming on the show wrapped and married her two days later. Their union wasn't particularly blessed, though -- they were only together for a few months before Fiore's body was found in a suitcase inside a dumpster. She was so brutalized that police had to identify her by the serial numbers on her breast implants. Jenkins went on the lam and on August 23, 2009, they found him dead in a British Columbia hotel room, hanging from a coatrack by his neck.
If you're going to post a screenshot of something on your computer in order to make your point, you should probably make sure that you close down those porn tabs, as well. You know, manners.
Mike Webb isn't just a guy at a Kinko's whose job is to ignore all of your questions, he's the guy who is running for Congress as an independent in the eighth district of Virginia. And instead of trying to show everyone he's just like you by pretending to like beer like Hillary Clinton has done, he just showed everyone he watches porn. Lots of it.
Webb posted a screenshot of phone records and a Yahoo search. No big deal. Webb was calling out Curzon Staffing Agency in Virginia. Again, no big deal. It only became a big deal when he forgot to close out his interests. Check out the screenshot below:
You need a closer look:
Good guy Webb likes Layla Rivera's tight body, as well as amateur porn by Ivone.
It gets better. Webb explained the mishap as "empirical inquiry."
Webb also added this hilarious explanation: "Curious by nature, I wanted to test the suggestion that somehow, lurking out in the pornographic world there is some evil operator waiting for the one in a gazillion chance that a candidate for federal office would go to that particular website and thereby be infected with a virus...."
Mike, you like porn. It's OK. By day you can promise stuff you will never get done, and by night you can see all the Layla Rivera you want. God bless America.
h/t NY Daily News
You're in good company, Mike: People Caught Looking At Porn On Their Phones In Public
1. New York Knicks
There have been rumors of the Illuminati being involved in professional sports for years, but the Knicks logo may be the most blatant signal. See that triangle in the background? Does it look familiar? Because you see it pretty much every day of your life right here:
It's certainly not a coincidence that Phil Jackson joined the team since he's the creator of the TRIANGLE offense. If it's not true, then explain this:
2. Miami Marlins
Want to see something truly unsettling with Miami's logo? You're obviously familiar with their original logo, but watch what happens when that marlin on the top left is recolored:
Now let's isolate it:
Hmm that looks familiar. Where have I seen that before? Oh right:
3. New York Yankees
The Yankees logo may look innocent, but that's just because you're looking at it upside down. It's not a hat ON a baseball bat; it's a baseball bat being pulled OUT of a hat.
What's the significance of that? The Yankees were actually founded in dark magic, which is why they have such a history of winning. The evil sorcerers would summon cursed bats from the darkness and use them to win games. Magic is no longer allowed in baseball, but the logo is still there as a reminder of their sinister beginnings.
4. Oakland Raiders
If you look closely at the Raiders logo you'll see that one eye is closed and the other is covered with a patch. Why would they cover one with a patch? Could it be because the logo was actually winking and they needed to cover it up? Yes. But why would their logo be winking? In 1995, the Raiders moved back to Oakland from L.A. Oakland was the home of rapper Tupac Shakur. In less than a year after the Raiders relocated, Tupac was "killed" in Vegas.
What if the logo is winking to let us know that Oakland's own isn't actually dead and it's all just a charade for him to disappear out of the spotlight? Why else would one of his eyes be shut? It's really the only logical explanation.
5. Cleveland Browns
The Browns have struggled as a franchise for years, but maybe it was destined to be. Take a look at their logo above.
It's just a plain orange helmet, right? Maybe to the naked eye, but let's zoom in a little more:
Can you see it yet? Maybe a little more zoom will help:
Look closely. If you still can't see it, let's zoom in to where we can see individual pixels for a truly hidden image:
6. New Jersey Devils
If there's one thing we're all constantly thinking about, it's where the Antichrist is going to be born and if he's currently walking the earth. The truth is, he's already alive and he lives in New Jersey. This was proven by the Devil's logo, which uses the bottom part of the J to point towards hell with an arrow and the upper part to show a vice that represents the chokehold he's going to have on the world. Sure, some may say the J is supposed to be an illustration of the devil, but that's someone taking it for face value. The truth is there if we're willing to look for it. Wow.
7. Cleveland Indians
If you look closely, their logo is actually super racist.
Related: NBA Team Name Power Rankings
If you prefer to stuff your face with veggies, that's awesome and I'm happy for you. But I'd prefer that you don't tell me how much you hate me as I try not to choke on my large portions of steak. And THAT is just one of the reasons vegans suck.
Popular YouTuber Awaken With JP wanted to switch it up a bit and show how it would be if meat eaters acted as awful as vegans do. Check out the hilarious (and accurate) video below:
Eat a hamburger while watching this for added effect.
Here's a helpful guide: A Simple Food Guide For Guys Dating Vegans
Brittany Daniel, who is probably best known for her role in the iconic "Joe Dirt," recently turned 40, but you wouldn't know it based on her fantastic bikini photos.
Daniel enjoys posting pictures of herself in bikinis on her Instagram. And we enjoy ogling them. Take a look at some recent photos of Daniel, and then curse David Spade out for being so damn lucky.
And now check more of her out: Brittany Daniel Is Sweet Valley Sexy
"Children of the Corn" (1984)
Let's kick it off with a movie about a bunch of kids killing adults in a little town in Nebraska just because. These kids run the town and kill any adult that passes through. But hey, they get a successful corn harvest out of it if they do (at least according to an entity).
Hey, if your birth kids won't kill you, the ones you adopt surely will. Little Esther is adopted by a nice family, and then quickly proceeds to kill a nun. Yep. A nun. There's no going back from that one, folks. This film also includes Vera Farmiga yelling, "I'm not your fucking mommy!" Probably not something you should tell a homicidal kid.
"The Ring" (2002)
You expect kids to watch TV all day and not bother you, not crawl out of your TV and wet your damn floor. But that's pretty much what Samara did in her spare time, and if you saw her, you were dead in a week. Pretty much the same thing that happens when you watch "The View."
"The Exorcist" (1973)
Not only do you have to worry about lice coming into your household, but a demon, too? A 12-year-old is possessed by a demonic entity and begins wreaking havoc on everyone around her. So she pretty much acts like a bratty preteen.
"The Omen" (1976)
Speaking of demons, here's another case of an adoption gone wrong. Five-old-year Damien is pretty tight with Satan himself, and because of that a bunch of shitty things happen; like the deaths of his nanny and a priest. Problem child may be an understatement.
"The Bad Seed" (1956)
No demons here, just a little girl with zero emotion who enjoys killing. Eight-year-old Rhoda is the granddaughter of an infamous serial killer, so she has to live up to the expectations and try her hand at murder. And that doesn't bode well for her victims.
"Goodnight Mommy" (2014)
Two little asshole twins convince themselves that their post-cosmetic surgery mom isn't their real mom, so they begin to torture her until she reveals the truth. This Austrian movie proves that twins don't like it when you dress them alike. In fact, they might kill you eventually. And the trailer is one super creep-fest, too.
"Village of the Damned" (1960)
Ever had a random kid stare at you for no reason? Well, this movie is a nightmare then. It's just a bunch of English kids with glowing eyes forcing adults to do things they wouldn't do under their own power. These kids also have no emotion and show no love. No word yet if their portrayal was based on me.
"Who Can Kill A Child?" (1976)
Not super well known, but this Spanish film involves more crazy kids killing adults, this time on an island. It's a bizarre film that ends with one of the main characters with a machine gun aimed at a group of kids who are smiling at him. That probably wasn't in the travel brochure.
"Rosemary's Baby" (1968)
OK, so this kid doesn't really kill anyone, but come on, all Rosemary wanted to do was get pregnant and have a child. But of course her child ends up being the spawn of Satan. Like, really? The kid even has glowing red eyes, which I'm told are similar to the ones I had when I was young. So not only does this brat keep Rosemary up, but he just happens to be Devil Jr.
We've saved the worst for last, folks: Matilda. This little Carrie wannabe just destroys everything, including her parents and her principal as soon as she discovers she has telekinetic powers. The kid almost murders Trunchbull, and before that tries to choke her step-brother to death using a carrot. Matilda is as bad as they come. This trailer pretty much shows that, too.
Sex, roulette and parties are all at or near the top of the list of my favorite things. The AIDS virus? Yeah, not so much.
According to the Daily Mail, parties where everyone in attendance knows that one person is secretly HIV positive yet they all have unprotected sex with each other anyway are actually a thing, and...wait for it...they're on the rise.
The parties are usually attended by gay men who are "thrilled" by not knowing if they'll contract the AIDS virus. Partygoers take anti-viral drugs that supposedly reduce the chances of transmission and then plow each other without using condoms because they're not allowed.
Spanish doctors say they have even heard of some sex parties where you can "only attend if you already have HIV." In both cases, they say it's a sign that people have "lost respect for HIV."
One sex therapist says people attend these sex roulette parties because orgasming combined with the adrenaline rush that is somehow associated with moving one step closer to AIDS is "an intense high."
An orgasm-adrenaline rush combo? Sadly, it sounds as though these partygoers don't know they could accomplish that just by playing "Call of Duty."
Let's just hope nobody's bringing their kids to these things: Mom Throws Daughter Naked Twister Sex Party Then Has Sex With Her Boyfriend
If the drone javelin throw was an Olympic sport, it looks as though it would be one the Russians could win without cheating.
According to The Huffington Post, the Rusborg medieval reenactment festival in the Lipetsk region of Russia recently had an unwanted visitor at their annual party, but it wasn't that annoying tribe of peasants from the other side of the mountain.
Nope, you guessed it: It was one of those damn drones.
Luckily for the people in attendance, one "knight" was prepared to save them from harm.
The spearman wasn't the only actor who took exception to the drone flying overhead. The 1,000+ attendees are so serious about their festival that guests aren't even allowed to wear "modern underwear."
The knight has since apologized and agreed to pay for a few minor damages to the drone. No word if he'll do so using actual Russian currency or by trading in some of his sheep.
Here's a drone that will take you out if you're not careful: The Dildo Drone Is All About That Hands-Free Pleasure
Seriously, I stopped counting at 12.
We're not sure what restaurant this video came from, but I pray to Christ it's from somewhere that's not within a 20-mile radius of my town.
For the sake of everybody, let's hope those were just rats escaping into the ceiling and not tonight's special. Just to be sure, maybe your best bet is to make yourself a sandwich at home for dinner the next few nights until the memory of that video escapes your dome.
Anybody else think this Meat Lovers pizza tastes like piss? The Dirtiest Restaurants In America
If watching numerous porn clips on a loop isn't teaching you how to please your gal, then let "artist" and author Stephanie Sarley help you out. Using fruit.
That's right, folks. Fruits have so many uses; they can even help you become a champion at fingering. From a papaya to a strawberry, Sarley uses your favorite fruits in order to teach you and make you extremely uncomfortable at the same time.
Just check some of awkward videos on her Instagram. And while it's only fruit, you probably shouldn't watch this at work or the people behind you will think you have a weird fruit fetish.
Well, might as well do something with that fruit of yours that's rotting.
h/t Elite Daily
More tips: Here's A Genius Way To Have Sex On The Plane
I have a confession to make: I don't really know the full story about Hillary Clinton's emails. I just know that she is a Clinton and it's all fittingly shady and scandalous. That is pretty much all I need to understand that this young kid who took a selfie with her was absolutely savage with the caption he added to it on Snapchat.
Take a look:
If this young man is old enough, I'd consider voting for him.
Related: 25 of the Funniest Tweets About Hillary Clinton
When I was in the fourth grade, I got my head stuck in one of the fences at Six Flags Great America. My friend's parents were literally getting butter from a nearby concession stand to help me get out when I was finally able to push my big ears in enough to pry myself loose. And that, my friends, was the greatest achievement of my life...until I put together this collection of funnies. Enjoy my finest work.
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