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- 05/18/16--04:56: _11 Animals You Didn...
- 05/18/16--05:50: _Nicolas Cage As You...
- 05/18/16--06:20: _The Most High-Tech ...
- 05/18/16--06:57: _Candice Swanepoel R...
- 05/18/16--07:20: _The Most Invasive A...
- 05/18/16--07:50: _The Definitive Rank...
- 05/18/16--09:50: _More Signs Proving ...
- 05/18/16--10:24: _Dumb Celebs on 'Cel...
- 05/18/16--11:25: _Woman's Obituary Sa...
- 05/18/16--11:41: _This 1989 Recipe In...
- 05/18/16--12:09: _Wisconsin Is Home T...
- 05/18/16--13:02: _Weird News: Florida...
- 05/18/16--13:16: _Here's Another Craz...
- 05/18/16--13:44: _Blake Lively Is Get...
- 05/19/16--03:55: _These Photos Prove ...
- 05/19/16--04:10: _Today's Funny Photos
- 05/19/16--05:20: _Hulu's Hot New Orig...
- 05/19/16--05:50: _Wedding Night Confe...
- 05/19/16--06:17: _This German Woman W...
- 05/19/16--06:30: _The Poop Scoop: Wha...
- 05/18/16--04:56: 11 Animals You Didn't Know Could Kill You
- 05/18/16--06:57: Candice Swanepoel Reveals It's A Boy With Topless Instagram Post
- 05/18/16--07:20: The Most Invasive Airport Security Workers
- 05/18/16--07:50: The Definitive Ranking Of Movie Vampires
- 05/18/16--09:50: More Signs Proving People Are Getting Dumber And Dumber
- 05/18/16--10:24: Dumb Celebs on 'Celebrity Jeopardy!' Don't Know Who Cam Newton Is
- 05/18/16--11:41: This 1989 Recipe Includes The Best Way To Use Whipped Cream
- 05/18/16--12:09: Wisconsin Is Home To The Four Drunkest Cities In America
- 05/18/16--13:16: Here's Another Crazy Mugshot To Enjoy
- 05/19/16--04:10: Today's Funny Photos
- 05/19/16--05:20: Hulu's Hot New Originals and Classic Hits Streaming Now
- 05/19/16--05:50: Wedding Night Confessions
- 05/19/16--06:17: This German Woman Went Viral For Breastfeeding Her Baby At A Wedding
- 05/19/16--06:30: The Poop Scoop: What The Color Of Your Stool Might Be Telling You
Asian Giant Hornet
About: This killer flying fire-poker has been described as a "hot nail being driven into my leg" by one victim. It can grow four inches in length with a wingspan of six inches. In 2013 alone, the Asian giant hornet killed 42 people in China and injured 1,500 others.
Deadly encounter: "The more you run, the more they want to chase you." A humble rice farmer out of Ankang, Chen Changlin, ran 650 feet and was stung for more than three minutes. He was unable to escape this 25 mile per hour death bee (that's faster than Usain Bolt). Two of his fellow harvesters were killed, a woman and a child, and one victim who went to the hospital pissed urine the color of soy sauce.
About: The leopard seal is basically an underwater torpedo with fangs. It can weigh up to 990 pounds, and it is notorious for its nasty demeanor. It relies on penguins for food, killing them by first peeling their skin off.
Deadly Encounter:Kirsty Brown was a young biologist studying ice movements in Antarctica. The 28-year-old was snorkeling when suddenly one of these mammoth mammals grabbed her leg and dragged her down more than 200 feet below the surface. "It all happened very quickly," said one of her colleagues. After being tugged down to unimaginable depths and jolted around like a plastic doll, Brown was pulled to the surface and brought to the boat. She was pronounced dead via drowning.
About: This lovable-looking, long-snouted bear creature looks like "Those We Don't Speak Of" in the movie "The Village." It can grow up to 100 pounds and eats up to 10,000 ants per day.
Deadly Encounter: On August 1, 2012, a Brazilian hunter and his two sons encountered a giant anteater. The man approached the beast with a knife, not a gun, because it growled at his dogs. The animal stood up on its hind legs, grabbed the man with its forearms, and tore apart his femoral artery. He bled to death. His sons shot the giant anteater to avenge their fallen father.
About: Cows are grazing, benevolent hunks of beef that are known to casually eat grass and sometimes rocks. They're morons by reputation, though delicious when slapped between two buns. However, they also kill 22 people per year.
Deadly Encounter:Joao Maria de Souza was sleeping with his wife in the small village of Caratinga when in the middle of the night, a 3,000-pound cow crashed through the roof of his home and crushed him. It had apparently climbed on the top of his shanty. "I didn't bring my son up to be killed by a falling cow," his baffled mother said. He died of internal injuries.
About: They're graceful, peaceful, and kill an estimated 120 people every year.
Deadly Encounter:Rob Dudek of San Diego was tending to his tomato garden one day in September 2005. That's when a giant six-foot buck charged him. It gored him through his cheek and mouth, and within a few hours a blood clot formed in his lung where the stag pierced him. "All I saw was when he came in that door, full of blood," his wife said. He required 220 stitches in the face before he died in the hospital.
About: Nature's hydro engineer usually applies itself to building dams and screwing with civilization. Though cute, its razor-sharp incisors can cut through skin like butter.
Deadly Encounter: It's an extreme rarity to be killed by a beaver, which is why one medical professional said, "The character of the wound was totally shocking for us medical professionals." In 2013, a Belarusian man and his Belarusian friends were driving up to Lake Shestakov when they spotted one of these innocuous, furry creatures beside the road. The man decided to take a picture with it. The beaver, obviously not interested in taking selfies, ripped into his arm and severed a major artery. He died. The beaver then went about its day.
Alligator Snapping Turtle
About: The heaviest freshwater turtle in the world has a bite that can crush a pineapple. It isn't known to attack humans, but it could definitely kill you if threatened. Human fingers are routinely bitten off.
Deadly Encounter: In the Bavarian Village of Irsee, one eight-year-old boy got the Derrick Rose treatment when a giant snapping turtle cut through his Achilles tendon like a twig. It struck fear into the locals who demanded that the lake be drained, which it was, and they concluded that the marine reptile was an exotic pet, because it is native to the southern United States. They never found the culprit.
About: The Scolopendra subspinipes can grow up to 12 inches and looks like a Guillermo del Toro monster. It has a bite "like a hot soldering iron under [the] skin," according to one victim.
Deadly Encounter: Centipedes are considered sexual stimulants in countries like Thailand, and it is apparent that one Thai man wanted to up his game. Wansadej Kongkul was cutting grass 300 miles north of Bangkok when he was bit by a centipede. In an act of vengeance, he ate it. "After 20 minutes, Wansadej threw up, so his friend made him lie down in a shed. When he came back in two hours, Wansadej was a greenish color and dead," said the police. The 100-foot creepy-crawly critter had pierced either his trachea or stomach with its venomous fangs. Nope.
About: They're known to straddle cattle and suck their blood, staying away from humans, but in 2010 alone, four children in Peru died after being bitten.
Deadly Encounter: Ironically, this happened in the same place "True Blood" is filmed. A Mexican migrant worker was in Louisiana on a sugar cane plantation when he suddenly fell ill. He was taken to a hospital and diagnosed with a fever of 101.1 degrees. A few weeks earlier, the 19-year-old was sleeping in his hometown of Michoacan, Mexico, when a winged rabies vector bit his foot. He died one day after doctors were able to rule out terminal STDs and test him positive for rabies. It was the first ever vampire bat death in the U.S.
About: Swans like to look pretty in ponds. But on the inside they're vicious assholes. The Mute Swan, for instance, tends to get aggressive and has even tallied up the following human death on its resume.
Deadly Encounter: Anthony Hensley was a dedicated husband and father when his life was cut short on April 14, 2012. It was his job to take care of swans at Bay Colony condominiums in Des Plaines, IL. He was in the middle of his routine when one swan attacked him. Its eight-foot wingspan capsized his boat and began pummeling his head. Hensley couldn't keep his head above water and eventually drowned in the 50-foot-deep pond. His wife recently sued the complex for negligence in assuming swans were anything but picturesque and passive do-nothings.
About: Unlike the movie "Swordfish," swordfish are actually riveting creatures. They can weigh up to 1,500 pounds and dive as deep as 1,800 feet. Swordfish stabbings are rare, but there was a man in Hawaii whose lungs were punctured by a three-foot swordfish bill.
Deadly Encounter: Imagine you're fishing in Borneo. All is well and right with the world until a fish flies out of left field and stabs you in the chest. That's what happened to Azlieman Mantinpan, who faced the wrath of a killer swordfish. It leaped out of the water and stabbed him in the chest. He bled out quickly, dying. It was the second Malaysian swordfish death in five years.
All photos via Flickr Creative Commons
Check out Cage as your favorite "Game of Thrones" characters.
Brienne Of Tarth
This is why Cage couldn't portray these characters: Ranking The 10 Most Brutal Deaths On 'Game of Thrones'
Real Doll's Sex Doll ($51,000)
Yeah, they're real. They're more than real, at least that's what the 40-thousand-some-odd Real Doll customers might say. Never been in love? Well, you've probably never had one of the world's finest Love Dolls, about as real and authentic as lifeless sex dolls get. There's the Classic Real Doll, Real Doll 2, Boy Toy and plenty of replaceable heads, torsos and transgender options. That's not the least bit creepy to read. Or you can have this one for $10,000.
International Space Station Toilet ($19 million)
You can't call it a "shitter" if it's costing you millions. While there are toilets that lift the lid when you're in proximity, warm your tush while you push and play music while you do your duty, this one actually filters your bowel movements into drinkable water. We can't believe it can't make your shit into beer. Crap! Total crap!
Clearaudio Statement Turntable ($170,000)
It's one of those incredibly stupid things worth way too much money: a 770-pound clear acrylic audiophile wet dream costing about as much as three top-of-the-line luxury cars. This magnetic turntable removes any hiccup you've ever had in your listening experience with a high-speed microprocessor-controlled motor drive unit, like NASA on Mars kind of shit. No skipping? Say it is so! Though the player is about as high tech as music listening gets, it doesn't seem to be self-flipping, which is exactly what I would demand if I were a rich, lazy asshole.
Volvorii Timeless Smart Shoe
Ladies (and some men), this one is for you: color-changing high-tech high heels. Yes, why buy a closetful of shoes when you can just get a smart pair that changes with the click of a button on your app. Created by iSüu Tech, the rubber and leather Bluetooth shoe allows women to continue getting dressed after you guys leave the house. Now the madness never has to end.
Self-Sterilizing Door Handles
Ever heard of moist towelettes? Guess not. This anti-bacteria, influenza-fighting handle gives the doors in your house the shit-free existence they deserve, especially if you have lots of house guests who don't wash after they wipe. Ground zero is bacteria breeding, door handles are getting rewritten as horizontal bars you push down to open. When closed, the UV lamp in the bar lights up and kills any residual bacteria, thus killing any likelihood of spreading bacteria. It's perfect for you snot-nosed kids who still pick your nose.
SurfLoch Surfpool ($4 million)
Who wants a still swimming pool when you could get some waves in there for an extra few million? The leader in surfing technology, WaveLoch can bring the wave machine in a big way with their Wave House and SurfPool in an energy-efficient surf course with reef levels for beginners to experts. Who needs a crowded ocean when you can avoid swallowing used condoms for just a few mil?
Mobile Bohemian Home
This mobile home was originally a Malibu dump, which was transformed into this fancy Bohemian mobile chateau. However stereotypical of California, this gem is a rarity and by far the most advanced in the realm of mobile homes. From Moroccan tile work to Indian fabrics and full home amenities, including washer-dryer, this 600-square-foot beauty with its Vent-A-Hood top-of-the line stove and brass accents is one of a kind.
iCarta iPod Toilet Roll Holder ($60)
There's nothing worse than taking a shit in silence when others can hear. Well, no more! Now the shitter has a "shitee" companion that can play music. But regardless of how much Nickelback gets played off this thing, that goddamn toilet paper better still be put on in the right direction.
LED Shower Light ($50)
"Painting the ceiling" has never been more real a term thanks to LED Ceiling, a pen-controlled light show where you can design the shapes that adorn the wall above your head. Just the same, the LED Shower Light allows you to have a colorful shower. It's official that if you have one of these LED lighting sets, you have way too much time and money and not enough friends. There's also the LED chandelier, which may also belie symptoms of loneliness and despair.
Toilet Seat Scale
Haikun Deng has invented the newest fun bathroom time waster: the shit scale. Designed with a built-in scale, poopers can get a sense of the before and after when it comes to trips to the john. This game could get pretty intense around Thanksgiving, fun for the whole family!
Candice Swanepoel decided to announce the sex of her baby the old-fashioned way: with a topless Instagram post. The Victoria's Secret model is bursting out of a pair of jeans with the caption, "My not so little boy."
If you're into baby announcements, check out the pic below. (I'm guessing you're going to anyways.)
We already know the truth behind full body scanners, and we understand that airport security workers have to do as much as they can to keep everyone safe, but hell, that doesn't make their practices any less embarrassing. Anyone that has taken a flight has probably been patted down a few times, and has probably had to stand still while a strange man or woman gets extremely close to their goods. So here are some very invasive airport security workers doing their job. Invasively.
Maybe that's why this is so terribly long: This Security Line At Midway Airport May Be The Longest Line Ever
20. Selene (Kate Beckinsale), "Underworld" (2003)
We'll see another leather-clad, sword-wielding vampire avenger on this list, but Selene is definitely the prettier of the two. Waging a war with werewolves -- like political parties, vampires and werewolves never seem to get along -- she falls in love with a dopey human along the way. She may look like a supermodel, but Selene is a force to be reckoned with in the requisite cape and fangs.
19. Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson), "Twilight" (2008-2012)
While a vampire can easily seduce a damsel with his hypnotic allure, this teenager did just that to a whole generation of real-life 12-year-old girls (and perhaps their mothers, too). In this world, Edward is a hero, not a villain, and even takes his mortal paramour to the prom after decapitating and burning a dangerous rival -- behavior not seen in many places outside the Bronx. Part "Romeo and Juliet," part "Harlequin Romance," after five films of this sweeping franchise, we contemplated turning the stake on ourselves.
18. Barnabas Collins (Jonathan Frid), "House of Dark Shadows" (1970)
A character whose popularity could not be contained within the confines of the television soap opera he saved with his mid-series introduction, Barnabas Collins took to the big screen in this story of resurrection, bloodlust and true love. Charismatic, aristocratic, and cunning, Collins elevated the role of murderous monster with a protagonistic spin.
17. The Countess (Lauren Hutton), "Once Bitten" (1985)
Even vampire movies were not immune from the pervasive '80s let's-lose-our-virginity narrative. The virgin in this case is an all but unknown Jim Carrey before his big screen performances became defined by sheer lunacy. Here, the future Pet Detective is dogged by the seductive Countess whose immortal beauty rests on consuming his vestal blood.
16. Prince Mamuwalde (William Marshall), "Blacula" (1972)
Nicknamed Blacula here by Dracula himself, this blaxploitation icon can horrify as amply as his cracker counterparts. And 1970's Los Angeles is the perfect chomping ground. Ladies beware -- this bachelor, widowed for centuries, is on the hunt for the reincarnation of his beloved, departed wife and is finding bare necks along the way.
15. Amilyn (Paul Reubens), "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" (1992)
Yes, the television series that followed receives the accolades, but really, it all began with this big screen version about a shallow Valley Girl cheerleader who realizes she has been granted a greater purpose way beyond her human pyramid skills. While her most dangerous adversary is the nefarious Lothos, it is his henchman, Amilyn, who lights up the screen. Leaving his overexuberant man-child Pee-wee behind him, Reubens is frightfully funny in what may be his second-best role to date.
14. Count von Krolock (Ferdy Mayne), "The Fearless Vampire Killers" (1967)
Gentlemanly, debonair and mature, Count von Krolock still embodies much to be fearful of. Additionally, his Transylvania castle is properly ominous, and the perfect setting for an annual vampires' ball. Even with two slayers rooting around his palatial confines, Krolock has been around long enough to keep his bloodless body cool.
13. Miriam Blaylock (Catherine Deneuve), "The Hunger" (1983)
A wealthy eighteenth-century Frenchwoman living in twentieth-century NYC with her longtime vampire husband, Miriam is a sexy, erotic musician on the prowl for supple flesh and the blood beneath it. The promise of immortality has led hubby into a false sense of security, blown apart by the discovery that such immortality comes with a hidden catch. Widely remembered for its girl-on-girl love scene, Miriam drives "The Hunger" with her sensuous desire and duplicity.
12. Queen Katrina (Grace Jones), "Vamp" (1986)
A hurricane in her own right, but silent and out for blood with a style bursting with '80s color and glam, Jones' fanged stripper burned her iconic beauty into this surprisingly entertaining horror/comedy. Bringing fraternity boys to their knees like a campus' most powerful Kappa Delta, she took vampiric seductress to a whole new level, particularly clothed in Keith Haring-designed body paint.
11. Louis de Pointe du Lac (Brad Pitt), "Interview with the Vampire: The Vampire Chronicles" (1994)
Like teenagers and Shakespeare's finest characters, film has taught us that vampires can also be conflicted and brooding. Louis is the finest example of this, whose initiation into the ranks of the undead has given him wealth, power, eternal beauty and fashion sense (and a serious case of guilt and loneliness). An abusive maker named Lestat doesn't much help, either.
10. Marie (Anne Parillaud), "Innocent Blood" (1992)
It's a horror movie. It's a comedy. It's a gangster film. It's a buddy cop flick. Whatever the underrated "Innocent Blood" is, it boasts a kick-ass vampire heroine. Another Frenchwoman in NYC, she has a strong conscience, leaving her to only feast on bad guys. The city, rife with mobsters, is her perfect feeding ground. Chaos ensues, and Marie must rely on her beauty, brains and bite to survive it.
9. Marlow (Danny Huston), "30 Days of Night" (2007)
No hypnotic, seductive vampires here. They are just purely brutal killing machines. And in Barrow, Alaska, entering its one-month-long polar night, forced hibernation from the deadly sun is no longer a factor. Barrow residents are now served up to a murderous fanged horde, led by the terrifying Marlow, who is sparing with both words and mercy.
8. Santanico Pandemonium (Salma Hayek), "From Dusk till Dawn" (1996)
Another stunning female vampire stripper on our list, this one employs a snake, bursting fire and foot-fed tequila in her act. A seductress, no doubt, until she transforms into a fanged reptilian creature of the night. With a chorus of undead showgirls at her side and the collective power to chow down on a club full of banditos, Santanico Pandemonium brings a tornado of terror to the notorious Titty Twister, showing a particular sweet tooth for Quentin Tarantino's unhinged Richie Gecko.
7. David (Kiefer Sutherland), "The Lost Boys" (1987)
A perfect example of the California boy turned vampire, Sutherland's bleach-blond, mulleted David is soft-spoken with a ferocious bite. Leading a small leather and tapestry-clad gang of undead peers, he lives out a sweet existence until he comes up against a force that would lead to any vampire's ruin: the Coreys.
6. Severen (Bill Paxton), "Near Dark" (1987)
A murderous blend of psychopath and bloodsucker, Severen is the blackest sheep in a dysfunctional family of nomadic vampires rolling through small Midwestern towns in their battered, sun-blocked RV. Delighting in homicide and havoc, his boots' razor-sharp spurs gives him an extra evil kick.
5. Blade (Wesley Snipes), "Blade" (1998)
Before the Marvel Cinematic Universe exploded, wallpapering the multiplex with one glossy superhero film after the next, there was first a solitary spark called "Blade," a badass, leather-clad half vampire whose vengeance for the undead anointed him as humanity's savior. He's a one-man killing machine with an impressive arsenal of weaponry, including a samurai sword, that literally reduces his adversaries to dust.
4. Jerry Dandridge (Chris Sarandon), "Fright Night" (1985)
As a high school teenager, it might be appealing to have a handsome bachelor as a neighbor with the ability to spy the steady procession of babes coming in to call on him. Discovering that neighbor is a vampire, however, and those babes aren't making their way out, has its downsides. Such is the predicament for our hero of "Fright Night," an underappreciated '80s gem. It is Dandridge's smooth balance of charisma and menace that thrusts him to the highest levels of this list like a bat out of hell.
3. Eli (Lina Leandersson), "Let the Right One In" (2008)
Just when we thought we knew everything about vampire movies, it took a Swedish import to prove us all wrong. A love story between a bullied 12-year-old boy and another child vampire of indeterminate sex would never make it past Hollywood's Development suits. But audiences are grateful that Eli, this mysterious child, was given life on film thanks to thinking more advanced than our own. Spare, chilling and terrifying, with joy somehow shining through, "Let the Right One In" delivers a punch not felt from many, if any, homegrown new releases today.
2. Count Dracula (played by multiple actors in several films since 1931)
There have been countless iterations of the Count, undoubtedly the world's most famous vampire. Here, just one spot away from film's greatest, we give a mini-ranking-within-a-ranking of the character's most notable representations.
5. Frank Langella in "Dracula" (1979)
One of the later strict retellings of the classic myth imbued with a heavier dose of romance, this "Dracula" was the sexiest and suavest yet -- it was the '70s, after all. Still a bit too bland and disjointed to contribute to a higher ranking, Langella does frame a seminal pose throughout that has been nonetheless highly influential to the character.
4. Gary Oldman in "Bram Stoker's Dracula" (1992)
Not the best adaptation in the "Dracula" canon, this gothic epic seemed to be heavy on style and light on substance. But by all accounts, it seems Oldman had a ball as the legendary vampire, radiating in indelible wigs, sunglasses, hats and claws. Even his shadows were memorable.
3. George Hamilton in "Love at First Bite" (1979)
The success of this horror comedy parody, released the same year as the Langella version, may have played a part in the latter's lackluster box office. "Bite," however, was a big hit and you have to admit, George Hamilton is the perfect actor to play a comic version of Dracula. As for many transplants, NYC itself starts out as this Prince of Darkness' greatest nemesis until a tenacious psychiatrist starts to dog him, as well. All played for laughs, "Bite" introduced light romantic comedy to the vampire genre right at the sunset of the disco era.
2. Bela Lugosi in "Dracula" (1931)
If Dracula is the poster child for the movie vampire, then Bela Lugosi is the poster child for the character himself. Lugosi set a high bar with his dramatic interpretation, affixing a standard by which all future vampires would be judged. One of Universal Studios classic monsters, Lugosi made this "Dracula" universal by showcasing all the Count's elements -- seducer, hypnotist, creature of culture, and depravity among them -- with a zeal that we have come to expect from all filmed vampire portrayals that have succeeded his.
1. Christopher Lee in "Horror of Dracula" (1958)
Almost 30 years after Lugosi debuted the character, Lee's performance was cemented as the best ever. He truly brought out a vampire's sexiness like none other before and upped the ante on frightfulness and power. Lee would go on to star in several other so-called Hammer adaptations, some of which he wouldn't even speak in; just hiss maniacally. But he created if not the classic, then the true Count Dracula of film -- a monster to be both fully feared and respected.
1. Count Orlok (Max Schreck), "Nosferatu" (1922)
It's amazing how film's first true depiction of a vampire is its very best. This German silent film is a true masterpiece of fright, with a titular character who is literally a monster. Bald with pointy ears, nose, fangs, and claws, in only five years from now the image of Orlok will have given viewers nightmares for an entire century. "Nosferatu" proves you don't need a cape, amulet, slick hair or accent to petrify. You can just put an unvarnished embodiment of horror onto film with the simple purpose of terrifying generation after generation of moviegoers.
Every day we come across more and more examples that show just how many idiots there are out there, and because of that signs have to be painfully obvious so that even the dullest tool in the shed can understand. Combine that with the fact that everyone is trying to cover their asses these days, and the signs below are created. Take a look at some signs that prove our collective IQ continues to decrease.
Plenty more where that came from: 18 Of The Dumbest, Most Unnecessary Signs Ever Created
Even if you don't know anything about sports, there are certain players who are popular enough that even non-sports fans are familiar with them. While he may not be as famous as Tom Brady, Cam Newton is one of those players that everyone should be aware of. I mean, he was just in the Super Bowl as the quarterback for the Carolina Panthers.
But apparently, Anderson Cooper, Lara Logan and former Republican Party Chairman Michael Steele don't know who the hell Cam is. Check out how they botched the question on "Jeopardy!" thanks to a shared tweet from Billy Howell:
Alex Trebek should know by now that celebrities only know what's written for them on cue cards.
h/t CBS Sports
And yet this is worse: Does This Woman On 'Jeopardy!' Have The Most Annoying Voice On The Planet?
It appears as though you can add Mary Anne Noland to the list of people who have totally given up on the dream of Bernie Sanders in the White House.
According to CNN, Noland's husband says her obituary that claims she chose death instead of voting for either Hillary Clinton or Donald Trump wasn't meant as a political statement but rather a joke and a way to show off her dynamic personality.
The 68-year-old Virginia woman's obituary was published in Tuesday's edition of the Richmond Times-Dispatch and has since gone viral thanks to its first sentence:
"Faced with the prospect of voting for either Donald Trump or Hillary Clinton, Mary Anne Noland of Richmond chose, instead, to pass into the eternal love of God on Sunday, May 15, 2016, at the age of 68."
The biggest problem we foresee with Noland's "decision" to pass instead of vote for Clinton or Trump? You guessed it: Now she won't be able to catch the second season of "Fuller House" on Netflix.
Probably the shortest obituary ever: This Two Word Obituary Is The Most Accurate And Most Amusing Obit You Will Ever Read
Whipped cream is truly a great invention. There are so many uses for it, and one of them your parents probably utilized when they were alone (sorry for that horrifying image). But Reddi-wip probably has the best way to use their whipped cream, and they happened to share it in a 1989 coupon recipe.
Check it out thanks to Reddit user Fizz_Blue:
This can also double as a wedding cake.
Or you can do this: Woman Live Tweets Shoving Toddler's Face Into Birthday Cake
Well to be fair, there is nothing else to do there except watch the Packers, listen to great live music and fish. And even then, you're crushing brews while doing all three of those.
According to WTMJ-TV, Wisconsin "dominated" a recent list released by 24/7 Wall St. of the drunkest cities in America, as the top four and 12 of the top 20 drunkest cities in the country reside within the borders of the "Land of Cheese and Beer Farts."
Almost one out of every four adults in America's Dairyland say they have an excessive drinking habit, and that's also tops in the nation.
Appleton took home the award for the drunkest city in America thanks to the fact that it's home to the "largest share of binge and heavy drinkers in all of America," as 26.8 percent of adults there binge drink on a regular basis.
While 18 percent of Americans say they drink excessively, 26 percent of the adults in Oshkosh and Neenah say that's also how they do it, and that's why they came in second place on the list. They were followed by Green Bay, where 47.5 percent of driving deaths are related to the sauce, and the state capital of Madison, where 25.5 percent of adults binge drink while watching Bucky try to run the ball into the end zone.
The other Wisconsin cities to make the list were La Crosse-Onalaska (#6), Fond du Lac (#7), Eau Claire (#9), Wausau (#11), Sheboygan (#12), Racine (#15), Janesville-Beloit (#16) and Milwaukee-Waukesha-West Allis (#17).
The folks in "Stallis" shouldn't be too upset about finishing so low on the list though, as we're sure that somewhere out there they are topping some kind of list involving meth use.
Odds are some of these came out of the Badger State: The Drunkest Texts You Will Ever Read
Holy shit, you guys. Literally.
According to Patheos, a Winter Park woman who went to change her newborn baby's poopy diaper says her kid crapped out a cross, and she's taking it as a sign that "God is with us."
Katy Vazquez posted the picture of her son's dirty diaper to her Facebook page Tuesday afternoon along with her reasoning behind why she thinks God was communicating with her through her child's shit:
"Sometimes in our busy, crazy, hectic lives, we forget how wonderful our God is. Today I feel as though he sent me a sign. Saying everything will be okay. I'm right here by your side.
"This sign came in the oddest form. My babies poop. I went to change his diaper, and he pooped a cross. It might not be the prettiest sign, but he put it where he knew I'd see it. In my babies diaper. Lol. Hard to miss what's right there in front of you.
"If you can, or want to, feel free to share the message. That God is with us. And he gives us signs to let us know that things will be OK. It's not always the prettiest sign, but he puts it where he knows we'll see it. We're good most of the time, but God is good all the time.
"We are one in love yes. Amen.
"In the name of the Father, the Son, and of the Holy Ghost.
"I believe all things are possible with God."
Well, good luck with that. Let's hope for Katy's sake that her kid didn't really crap out a shark as a sign to stay away from the beach this weekend.
Jesus was a boom mic operator?Our Favorite Jesus Is Everywhere Photoshops
Everyone likes to see crazy mugshots, and they are even better when they are hot girl mugshots, but the one below is a tad different. Because Jimmy Todd from South Carolina is sporting something odd on his face in his picture.
This is just one of the many interesting characters you may meet if you find yourself behind bars.
And for those trying to figure out just what the hell is on his face, it's a jawbone repair. That piece of metal right there replaces the lower jawbone. #themoreyouknow.
And then there's this lad: Everyone Is Laughing At This Guy's Mugshot On Facebook
It seems that people get anxious and annoyed if they go more than five minutes without complaining about something, so of course a red carpet photo of Blake Lively garnered her plenty of hate. Congrats, Blake.
Lively used her Instagram to post a photo showing front and back views of a dress she wore recently. Lively then captioned the photo "L.A. face with an Oakland booty." Take a look at the photo below.
Of course, that pissed a lot of people off because people are idiots. The caption is a reference to the classic song "Baby Got Back" by Sir Mix-a-Lot. However, apparently that line has a lot of racially charged connotations.
In conclusion, an attractive woman showed off her glorious backside and that story got put in the backseat (pun intended) because a lot of people are whiny windbags.
No controversy here: Blake Lively And Ryan Reynolds And Blake Lively's Cleavage Went To The White House
The English language would be a beautiful thing if we hadn't spent so much effort butchering it with complicated rules and random loopholes over the years. Hell, sometimes you can get it right and still be confused. Want proof? Don't worry, we've got an entire gallery of it right here for your reading pleasure. Then again, it will probably be a lot more infuriating than fun (hence, all the foul language strewn about).
Related: 20 Commonly Misused or Misspelled Words and the Correct Way to Use Them
When I work up yesterday morning, I thought it was Friday. So you can imagine how I felt when I woke up this morning knowing that it was once again not Friday. Pretty terrible. But, one thing that always makes me feel better is a batch of hilarious photos from around the Internet. I hope you feel the same.
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via Jake Likes Onions
It's Throwback Thursday, so here are yesterday's Funny Photos.
More Funny Photos are just a click away.
Check out these six Hulu originals and four classics streaming now, and see if you can binge any harder. Now if they can only get "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air" and "Full House," it might be time to reconsider our stance on who's top dog (or is it dawg?) in the new age of television.
Original Hulu Shows
Aaron Paul finds himself in the TV spotlight again, alongside Michelle Monaghan and "Shameless" hottie, Emma Greenwell, in Hulu's big new series about a family stuck in the middle of a cult. Hopefully Aaron Paul will be one of the upcoming "Breaking Bad" characters to show up on "Better Call Saul" next season.
Of all the original spring TV shows, this one is the most original as James Franco plays Jake Epping, who goes back in time to stop the Kennedy assassination; you know, the thing they probably should've done in "Back to the Future." The J.J. Abrams-produced eight-part series threw people for a loop while keeping them highly entertained.
Quietly into its third season, "Deadbeat" follows the supernaturally comedic path of Kevin Pacalioglu (Tyler Labine) who attempts to free ghosts of their cosmic burdens in order to let them find rest, kind of like a passive-aggressive Ghostbuster on weed. This was one of Hulu's first attempts at original comedy, and so far, so good.
New as of last fall, the Jason Reitman-directed comedy features a newly single mother, sort of half "Grace and Frankie" with kids, who is getting thrown into the world of dick pics and online dating while her live-in brother and daughter teach her the ways of the modern love world.
Billy Eichner and the show's creator, Julie Klausner, star as two struggling New York comedians. The anti-social introverts came together for an eight-episode first season last fall with their mean-spirited hateful banter. Eichner stole the show at the end of NBC's hit "Parks & Recreation" run.
Seth Meyers and Michael Shoemaker created the sideshow superhero animated series about the "B-squad" of the superhero community. Mr. Awesome, a revered superhero, retires and his son starts up a second-string squadron, including the third-fastest man in the world and a couple of other limited supernaturals.
Classic Hits on Hulu
One of the best fall shows on TV right now, "Fargo" just finished firing off its second season on FX, arguably better than its impressive debut season. Based on the Academy Award-winning 1996 classic cult comedy, the show follows a convincing killer (Billy Bob Thornton) into the town of Fargo, North Dakota, where he upends the quiet town. Season one also starred Bob Odenkirk and Colin Hanks, the latter of whom appears in early season two, along with Kirsten Dunst, Patrick Wilson and Ted Danson. Season one appears on Hulu, and season three is set for 2017 on FX.
It's about damn time the best teen drama finally started streaming. Recently acquired, along with a number of other early '00s shows by Hulu, "The O.C." brings four seasons of the troubled life of Ryan Atwood (Ben McKenzie) to the Cohen family's Orange County paradise into full high-quality streaming. Never have the boobs of Mischa Barton and Rachel Bilson been perkier.
With one of the biggest series finale letdowns in TV history, ALF was still a lovable furry alien in our homes. Now, despite the less than stellar standard definition, we get to relive all the sarcastic one-liners and muppet-body antics of that adorable intruder with 99 perfect family-suitable episodes. Just skip that finale; it's brutal!
"Bob Ross - The Joy of Painting"
All the dreams you had lying awake imagining a little pine tree appearing on your imaginary landscape are coming to life, as 78 episodes from season 20 through 25 of the late painter's are now in full stream mode. The show ran until 1994, 31 seasons, with more than 400 episodes in total, leading up to his death from lymphoma months later at the age of 52. There better be 78 goddamn original masterpieces littering your house at some point, or you're wasting your life!
Sometimes weddings don't go as planned. You may witness an owl's final flight, or you may even witness a groom's side chick show up and ruin everything. But as many surprises as a wedding day may hold, the same can be said for wedding nights, because wedding night for the men and women below wasn't something they were expecting.
And sometimes it's not so bad:
Via The Chive
It's not all rainbows and sunshine: The 13 Most Annoying Things That Happen At Weddings
Remember that Australian mom that went viral for her casual public breastfeeding photo taken at her sister's wedding? Well, it seems weddings are becoming the hot spot to do that because another woman has gone viral for the same thing.
Naomi Jael Covert, a 21-year-old full-time army wife from Vilseck, has the Internet buzzing after she posted a picture of herself breastfeeding her 10-month-old at a wedding. Take a look at the photo below thanks to Covert's Instagram:
When you are at a wedding, wear fancy dresses and high heels.🙆🏽💃🏽 and your baby gets hungry, well... You give no shits and feed the kid 😁💁🏽 *EDIT: whoever gets mad about this😂 I also fed my son at the church ceremonie IN the church. Here in Germany people don't get mad about it. It is NORMAL . Nothing rude or bad about it. This is why I have breasts! Cause God gave me boobs for feeding my babies. #breastfeeding #fitmom #girlswithmuscle #breastmilk #nursing #prego #momlife #fitmom #mamaleben #instamamagang #instamamagang_original #lebenmitkind #stillen #bbg #bbgmom #bbgmums #pregnant #moms #normalizebreastfeeding #breastfeedwithoutfear
The photo blew up and racked up over 12,000 likes after Empowered Birth Project shared it on their Instagram.
While the reaction has mainly been positive, Covert says she is surprised at the negative backlash she has received; comments like "hide under a rock," or "throw a blanket on." But Covert says that the other wedding guests didn't have an issue with it: "It's just normal -- you have conversations with people while feeding the child" she says. "It is nothing sexual. It's just another person eating."
And something tells me that "person eating" went for seconds.
And hey, here's more of Covert:
Hair needs washed. 💧Make up needs to be put on. 💅🏽BUT I really don't want to. 😳😅 It's cold and grey outside and I hate weather like that 😒 this is probably the last day of being "Tan" since this spray tan wears off slowly 😝. Oh well. We just gonna embrace the whiteness 😆nooooot. This body was brought to you by @kayla_itsines BBG 1.0 & 2.0 😍💪🏽 Wetter ist echt SO grausig heute. Da bekommt man sofort schlechte Laune 😐 später geht's für TJ und mich wieder nach Hause :) und da wird dann auch eher relaxed... Also so weit wie das eben geht 😌😆 #mamasboy #mamaleben #bbgmom #momlife #fitspo #lebenmitkind #kaylasarmy #kaylaitsines #sweatwithkayla #bbg #bbgcommunity #fitchicks #fitmom #instamamagang #instamamagang_original #abs #girlswithmuscle #momswholift #bbgmums #fitfam #fitlife #gains #tiu @kayla_itsines #bbg1 #bbg2
Another one from yesterday 🙆🏽 #bridesmaid Ahhh I wish I could doll up ALLL the time 🇩🇪 noch eins von gestern 💁🏽 ich wünschte ich könnte mich öfter so chic machen und ausgehen :) Woah woah 😨😱I didn't think my breastfeeding pic would stir the pot hahaha 😂😂 just know. #noshameinmygame 💁🏽💁🏽 I will feed my baby until he weans himself. So there's that 🙈😏. Ich werde mein Baby so lange stillen bis er sich selbst abstillt :) nur damit das jeder weiß 🤓 #makeup #bridesmaids #wedding #mr #mrs #breastfeeding #fitmom #mamalife #mamaleben #instamama #instamamagang #instamamagang_original #lebenmitkind #mamablogger #mothersinprotest
BBG Power 😅💪🏽 I can see baby abs🎉 well obliques but they are just as welcome right? Now on to the Legs and #growabooty Should I do the BBG 1.0 again? 🙆🏽 I can believe TJ is almost 10 months old now! And Tony is coming home in 3 (⚡️) months!!!! Eek! These 6 months of stupid deployment have been flying by! 🌪 Iam pretty sure it had to do with he fact that TJ is the craziest, most active baby who keeps mommy on her feet 😁🙈 #deploymentsucks #milso #bbg #bbgprogress #abs #bbgbabes #bbgmums #bbgmoms #kaylaitsines #kaylasbbg #kaylasarmy #sweatwithkayla #fitmom #gesundleben #itsalifestyle #fitchicks #momlife #momswholift #probroarmy #workout
This is what the finished 1.0 2.0 #BBG from @kayla_itsines looks like! • baby is 10 months •Iam Breastfeeding • I don't count calories • I don't always eat clean but like 80% at the time I honestly still feel too skinny because I really want to grow a bigger butt and thicker thighs but the muscle tone is good right now 💁🏽🙆🏽 💃🏽 Should i do the 1.0 again ? WHO else is starting #bbg1 or starting over ? 🇩🇪 yay! @kayla_itsines 2.0 endlich vollendet 💪🏽🎉 Ich fühl mich gut, nur immer noch ein bisschen zu dünn 😅 die Beine und der Po müssen noch wachsen 💁🏽 Soll ich 1.0 nocheinmal machen ? Wer wiederholt ? Oder was wäre noch interessant auszuprobieren? #bbggirls #bbggermany #bbgdeutschland #healthy #fitfam #fitmotivation #toned #mamaleben #instamood #instamamagang #bbgcommunity #bbgfam #bbgprogress #progress #progressnotperfection #fitspo #fitchicks #fitness #abs #gains #tanned #girlswithmuscle #girlswholift #probroarmy #fitmom #fitnessfreak
Chrissy enjoys doing it, too: Chrissy Teigen Breastfeeds Topless On Snapchat
We've all been there: trying to distinguish the state of our bodily affairs by the observation of our poo. Did you know you can tell a lot by the color of your excrement? It's true, and if you use our handy color-coded graphic below, you can find out what your poop is trying to tell you about your body.
We're not trying to cause night terrors, but rather raise awareness (also, we like to use the word "poo" whenever possible). It's not an exact science as to what's going on in your body -- we're not doctors (yet) -- but rather a set of indicators from your stool. And remember: Smell, shape and frequency are telltale signs as well, not just color. We'll work on those charts later. (Additional info below color wheel)
Brown (light brown to dark brown)
Normal, no cause for concern
Made from bile when iron of red blood cells mixes with broken down bone marrow, turned brown by bacteria in the small intestine. Once per day is normal. Twice per day is great. Still, flush it down.
Somewhat normal, no cause for concern
When poop travels too quickly through intestines, it doesn't have time to turn brown and comes out green. Also, from eating lots of leafy greens or iron supplements. Also, St. Paddy's Day.
Abnormal, some cause for concern
Could be an indicator of bleeding ulcer near intestinal track, or possibly anal canal. Perhaps just hemorrhoids or red velvet cupcakes, though.
Abnormal, some cause for concern
There could be some funky bacteria in there. Or, you ate too many beets. Lay off the beets, tomato-based products and cranberries, even though they're good in small doses.
Abnormal, some cause for concern
Possibly the result of gallbladder problems or giardia infection.
Abnormal, some cause for concern
Likely caused by taking antacids. However, possibly cirrhosis, hepatitis or pancreatic illness.
Abnormal, some cause for concern
Could be dried blood in stool or bleeding far enough from rectum that it has time to dry in gastro track or anal canal. Possibly just from black jelly beans, black licorice, antidepressants or anti-diarrheal meds.
Health Advisor Group
The Dr. Oz Show