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Today's Funny Photos
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The 10 Grossest Sodas Ever Made
It should be fairly simple to make a soda pop - fizzy water, a little bit of sugar and the flavoring of your choice. But people still manage to screw it up. In this feature, we'll spotlight ten nauseating concoctions from all over the world that'll make you want to put the cap back on the bottle.
Poutine Soda
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The Jones Soda company is probably best-known for the quirky photographs that adorn their bottles, but they also like to experiment with some unusual flavors. One of the most bizarre was only available in California - poutine. The Quebecois delicacy consists of French fries topped with cheese curds and brown gravy, and it's excellent for staving off a hangover. But distilled and put into a carbonated beverage, it's a rancid, disgusting mess that will make you feel like vomiting from the moment you open the bottle. (Photo courtesy of: CTV News)
Surging Eel
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Obviously Japan is going to take a spot or two on this list. That country has an amazing ability to create snack food that pushes the limits of taste. In 2008, Japan Tobacco Inc. released Unagi Nobori, which translates loosely as "Surging Eel." And, yes, that is a literal title. The fizzy yellow beverage is made from eel extract, which Japanese people believe to be energizing and refreshing, and has a taste that is reminiscent of broiled eels. Sure, I like them on sushi, but not out of a bottle. (Photo courtesy of: The Dishh)
Bacon Soda
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It's time for the wacky ironic bacon trend to die. Sure, the crispy pork product is delicious (and deadly), but flavoring everything under the sun with it is too much of a good thing. Case in point: bacon soda, made by the brains at Lester's Fixins. With a taste best compared to flat Pepsi and an overpowering aroma of salt, fat and smoke, it's a challenge to even make it through a single bottle of this noxious drink. Samplers report that it tastes like nothing more than siphoning off a pan of wet bacon grease. (Photo courtesy of: Eden via Flickr CC)
Hubba Bubba
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When you have a popular flavor, it's only natural to try to merchandise it out. In the 1980s, Hubba Bubba gum was the chew of choice amongst the pre-teen set, so a soda company licensed the name to create a beverage version. They used snow cone flavoring to capture the insanely sweet appeal of the gum, but it caused cans to go flat almost immediately after opening, resulting in a vile pink syrup that was virtually undrinkable. Amazingly enough, some people actually want this to come back on the market. (Photo courtesy of: Blogspot)
Turkey & Gravy Soda
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If we listed all the vile Jones Soda flavors we'd be here all day, but one stands head and shoulders above the rest. The Turkey & Gravy soda the company makes for Thanksgiving is a remarkable achievement, grossing out even the toughest stomachs. When you crack open the bottle, the aroma of fresh-cooked bird is pretty powerful. Drinkability, however, is pretty low. The soda tastes like an unholy mix of root beer and cooked turkey, with a Necco wafer aftertaste. (Photo courtesy of: Chris Pirillo via Flickr CC)
Pickle Fizz
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Nobody has ever attempted to make Pickle Fizz in a bottle, thank God, but rural soda fountains around the country still have it on tap. The two ingredients for this demented beverage are dill pickle brine and carbonated water, mixed together in equal parts. No sweeteners, no added flavor - just pure vinegary pickle sensation. Patrons of the Skateland roller rink in Yakima, Washington swear by the concoction, but one sip will have most normal people puckering their mouths in disgust. (Photo courtesy of: John Riggs via Katsfm)
Pepsi White
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You can't mess with perfection, but that doesn't stop the major sodamakers from trying. In an attempt to capture more of the Japanese beverage market, Pepsi introduced a variety of alternate flavors. Probably the most disturbing was Pepsi White, which took the sweetness and fizz that you grew up with and mixed it with the unmistakable flavor of... yogurt. The final result is soapy and sort of medicinal, which certainly isn't going to set the shelves on fire. (Photo courtesy of: Michael John Grist)
Teriyaki Beef Jerky Soda
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You may be noticing a theme in this list, and that's meat. Our relentless desire to cram dead animals into every food product is going to be the death of us, quite literally in this case. Made by the tiny Beefdrinker company, Teriyaki Beef Jerky Soda is a nightmare in a bottle. When you pop the cap (it's not a screw-off), you'll notice little chunks floating in the liquid and the overwhelming smell of a cheap Japanese restaurant. Drinking it is even worse, with an overwhelming soy sauce saltiness dominating. (Photo courtesy of: Candy Carroliton)
Ranch Dressing Soda
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Here's another one from Lester's Fixins, who I can only assume are aliens from the blackest void of space sent to eradicate humanity with disgusting beverages. Not satisfied with their bacon and buffalo chicken flavors, in 2013 they released a limited edition soda flavored with ranch dressing. Ranch, which was invented in the 1950s, is made from buttermilk, chives and onions - not typical soda flavors. The resulting beverage is repulsive, smelling like rotten cheese and athlete's foot, and the taste isn't much better. (Photo courtesy of: Opposing views)
Mountain Dew Dewritos
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If you cut open a gamer's belly, chances are you'd find a fair amount of Doritos and Dew inside. So it's not surprising that Pepsi would want to capture lightning in a bottle and create a soft drink that combined the two. In November of 2014, the beverage giant took a tour of college campuses providing samples of the fizzy orange cheese-flavored drink. People who sampled it said it tasted like orange soda with a distinctive - and hard to get rid of - Dorito aftertaste. Whether they'll make it commercially available is anybody's guess. (Photo courtesy of: Viralspell)
Poutine Soda
The Jones Soda company is probably best-known for the quirky photographs that adorn their bottles, but they also like to experiment with some unusual flavors. One of the most bizarre was only available in California - poutine. The Quebecois delicacy consists of French fries topped with cheese curds and brown gravy, and it's excellent for staving off a hangover. But distilled and put into a carbonated beverage, it's a rancid, disgusting mess that will make you feel like vomiting from the moment you open the bottle. (Photo courtesy of: CTV News)
Surging Eel
Obviously Japan is going to take a spot or two on this list. That country has an amazing ability to create snack food that pushes the limits of taste. In 2008, Japan Tobacco Inc. released Unagi Nobori, which translates loosely as "Surging Eel." And, yes, that is a literal title. The fizzy yellow beverage is made from eel extract, which Japanese people believe to be energizing and refreshing, and has a taste that is reminiscent of broiled eels. Sure, I like them on sushi, but not out of a bottle. (Photo courtesy of: The Dishh)
Bacon Soda
It's time for the wacky ironic bacon trend to die. Sure, the crispy pork product is delicious (and deadly), but flavoring everything under the sun with it is too much of a good thing. Case in point: bacon soda, made by the brains at Lester's Fixins. With a taste best compared to flat Pepsi and an overpowering aroma of salt, fat and smoke, it's a challenge to even make it through a single bottle of this noxious drink. Samplers report that it tastes like nothing more than siphoning off a pan of wet bacon grease. (Photo courtesy of: Eden via Flickr CC)
Hubba Bubba
When you have a popular flavor, it's only natural to try to merchandise it out. In the 1980s, Hubba Bubba gum was the chew of choice amongst the pre-teen set, so a soda company licensed the name to create a beverage version. They used snow cone flavoring to capture the insanely sweet appeal of the gum, but it caused cans to go flat almost immediately after opening, resulting in a vile pink syrup that was virtually undrinkable. Amazingly enough, some people actually want this to come back on the market. (Photo courtesy of: Blogspot)
Turkey & Gravy Soda
If we listed all the vile Jones Soda flavors we'd be here all day, but one stands head and shoulders above the rest. The Turkey & Gravy soda the company makes for Thanksgiving is a remarkable achievement, grossing out even the toughest stomachs. When you crack open the bottle, the aroma of fresh-cooked bird is pretty powerful. Drinkability, however, is pretty low. The soda tastes like an unholy mix of root beer and cooked turkey, with a Necco wafer aftertaste. (Photo courtesy of: Chris Pirillo via Flickr CC)
Pickle Fizz
Nobody has ever attempted to make Pickle Fizz in a bottle, thank God, but rural soda fountains around the country still have it on tap. The two ingredients for this demented beverage are dill pickle brine and carbonated water, mixed together in equal parts. No sweeteners, no added flavor - just pure vinegary pickle sensation. Patrons of the Skateland roller rink in Yakima, Washington swear by the concoction, but one sip will have most normal people puckering their mouths in disgust. (Photo courtesy of: John Riggs via Katsfm)
Pepsi White
You can't mess with perfection, but that doesn't stop the major sodamakers from trying. In an attempt to capture more of the Japanese beverage market, Pepsi introduced a variety of alternate flavors. Probably the most disturbing was Pepsi White, which took the sweetness and fizz that you grew up with and mixed it with the unmistakable flavor of... yogurt. The final result is soapy and sort of medicinal, which certainly isn't going to set the shelves on fire. (Photo courtesy of: Michael John Grist)
Teriyaki Beef Jerky Soda
You may be noticing a theme in this list, and that's meat. Our relentless desire to cram dead animals into every food product is going to be the death of us, quite literally in this case. Made by the tiny Beefdrinker company, Teriyaki Beef Jerky Soda is a nightmare in a bottle. When you pop the cap (it's not a screw-off), you'll notice little chunks floating in the liquid and the overwhelming smell of a cheap Japanese restaurant. Drinking it is even worse, with an overwhelming soy sauce saltiness dominating. (Photo courtesy of: Candy Carroliton)
Ranch Dressing Soda
Here's another one from Lester's Fixins, who I can only assume are aliens from the blackest void of space sent to eradicate humanity with disgusting beverages. Not satisfied with their bacon and buffalo chicken flavors, in 2013 they released a limited edition soda flavored with ranch dressing. Ranch, which was invented in the 1950s, is made from buttermilk, chives and onions - not typical soda flavors. The resulting beverage is repulsive, smelling like rotten cheese and athlete's foot, and the taste isn't much better. (Photo courtesy of: Opposing views)
Mountain Dew Dewritos
If you cut open a gamer's belly, chances are you'd find a fair amount of Doritos and Dew inside. So it's not surprising that Pepsi would want to capture lightning in a bottle and create a soft drink that combined the two. In November of 2014, the beverage giant took a tour of college campuses providing samples of the fizzy orange cheese-flavored drink. People who sampled it said it tasted like orange soda with a distinctive - and hard to get rid of - Dorito aftertaste. Whether they'll make it commercially available is anybody's guess. (Photo courtesy of: Viralspell)
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30 of the Most Terrifying Pictures the Internet Has Ever Seen
You know those horrifying images you see one time and spend the rest of your life trying to forget? Thanks to the Internet, those pictures will live on forever and continually haunt you for the rest of your digital life. If you're brave enough to venture forward, we've put together 30 of the most terrifying SFW images that have ever graced the web.
1. The Notice
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2. The Figure in the Window
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3. This was recorded by a hunter's camera set up in the woods
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4. The Strange Case of Jeremy Bentham
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5. The Footprints in the Snow
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6. A picture drawn by a six-year-old girl.
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7. This bizarre image was captured by a store's security camera at a Redbox.
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8. If you look closely behind the wedding, you can see what appears to be a cult wearing robes and hoods.
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9. Is this proof of time travel?
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10. The mysterious sailors captured in Hawaii.
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11. No one has been able to explain this mysterious figure spotted in the crowd of a soccer match in 2013.
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12. The inside of a camel's mouth is one of the creepiest things you'll ever see.
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13. It might be time to find a new house.
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14. Never test your camera equipment at old farms.
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15. Your kid will be thrilled to know there's no Santa Claus after seeing this.
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16. Is this unexplained photo a staged scene or a rare moment captured of a terrifying cult?
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17. This is an image from Miyake-jima, where everyone must carry a gas mask at all times, due to the vast amount of volcanic activity.
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18. The Crawling Ghost
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19. Be careful where you buy your fresh fruit.
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20. And also don't eat vegetables anymore. Just to be safe, don't eat anything.
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21. You can guarantee this freaky ultrasound image is definitely not going on the Christmas card this year.
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22. Why does the tree look like that? Oh, because it's been overtaken by tarantulas.
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23. Is this proof of psychic telemetry?
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24. No idea what's happening in this creepy photo, but that's why you always get insurance on a rental car.
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25. The Wem Town Hall Fire
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26. They met on Tinder before you had to pay a monthly fee.
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27. She probably just didn't have her hair done and was trying to avoid the camera.
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28. Who knew costumes this simple could be so creepy?
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29. "Sorry, I have a ghost boyfriend."
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30. This is more than likely what it looks like in hell, or at least Orlando.
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1. The Notice
2. The Figure in the Window
3. This was recorded by a hunter's camera set up in the woods
4. The Strange Case of Jeremy Bentham
5. The Footprints in the Snow
6. A picture drawn by a six-year-old girl.
7. This bizarre image was captured by a store's security camera at a Redbox.
8. If you look closely behind the wedding, you can see what appears to be a cult wearing robes and hoods.
9. Is this proof of time travel?
10. The mysterious sailors captured in Hawaii.
11. No one has been able to explain this mysterious figure spotted in the crowd of a soccer match in 2013.
12. The inside of a camel's mouth is one of the creepiest things you'll ever see.
13. It might be time to find a new house.
14. Never test your camera equipment at old farms.
15. Your kid will be thrilled to know there's no Santa Claus after seeing this.
16. Is this unexplained photo a staged scene or a rare moment captured of a terrifying cult?
17. This is an image from Miyake-jima, where everyone must carry a gas mask at all times, due to the vast amount of volcanic activity.
18. The Crawling Ghost
19. Be careful where you buy your fresh fruit.
20. And also don't eat vegetables anymore. Just to be safe, don't eat anything.
21. You can guarantee this freaky ultrasound image is definitely not going on the Christmas card this year.
22. Why does the tree look like that? Oh, because it's been overtaken by tarantulas.
23. Is this proof of psychic telemetry?
24. No idea what's happening in this creepy photo, but that's why you always get insurance on a rental car.
25. The Wem Town Hall Fire
26. They met on Tinder before you had to pay a monthly fee.
27. She probably just didn't have her hair done and was trying to avoid the camera.
28. Who knew costumes this simple could be so creepy?
29. "Sorry, I have a ghost boyfriend."
30. This is more than likely what it looks like in hell, or at least Orlando.
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People Getting Way Too Cozy with Dangerous Animals
Call us crazy, but when we see a bear or a tiger outside the confines of a zoo, we're pretty apprehensive to get close to one. After all, tame beast or not, you can never be too careful when it comes down to you and a giant, potentially dangerous animal. Apparently, the people in the following photos don't share our beliefs on the subject. In fact, we'd imagine they aren't very much like us at all considering the way they defiantly throw caution to the wind when in the company of some of nature's deadliest predators.
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And because we simply couldn't resist...
![people getting cozy with dangerous animals]()
And because we simply couldn't resist...
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All the Deaths from 'Pulp Fiction' Ranked
Quentin Tarantino had already blown us away with his 1992 debut "Reservoir Dogs," but when "Pulp Fiction" careened onto movie screens two years later, it was immediately apparent we hadn't seen anything yet. Brutal, bloody, intense and fall-down funny, we were left after its 2 hour 48 minutes with the certainty that we'd just witnessed cinema evolving right from our very seats in the audience. It made no apologies for its violence, nor the way it blended into its humor, and the ride was so fantastic we weren't asking for any. Deaths came fast and furious within this masterpiece, and here we rank them one by bloody one.
No. 7 - Floyd Wilson
![pulp fiction deaths, pulp fiction death scenes, floyd wilson]()
Floyd kicks off our list in its lowest position because we don't actually see him die. We only get a glimpse of the bottom half of his corpse, lying motionless atop a dressing room table in the boxing arena where he unexpectedly has fought his last bout. Maybe because his opponent, Butch Coolidge, was supposed to take a dive, Floyd regrettably let his guard down in the ring and paid the ultimate price. But don't let his offscreen demise diminish the impact of his expiration. It's the very trigger that sets off the wild, blood-soaked, unbelievable action in store for Butch and Marsellus Wallace in "The Gold Watch."
No. 6 - Roger
![pulp fiction deaths, pulp fiction death scenes, roger]()
Second on our list, but first among "Pulp Fiction's" ample body count, is Roger. Like our dead boxer, we never even see this guy stand up. Instead he remains lying prone on a couch throughout his entire screen time with a Kahuna burger resting on his stomach, unknowing perhaps that he too will soon be dead meat. Roger's end comes quickly and surprisingly at the hands of Jules, who calmly takes a break from a conversation with endangered partner-in-crime, Brett, to shoot him dead with one bullet. But before he goes he does receive something else from Jules -- the supercool nickname, Flock of Seagulls.
No. 5 - Fourth Man
![pulp fiction deaths, pulp fiction death scenes, fourth man]()
Known simply as Fourth Man (though portrayed by an actor who would ironically transition into a woman in real life), he is further proof that he and his cohorts are no match for more seasoned criminals Jules and Vincent, despite the fact that they display their own long record of glaring missteps, too. Hidden in the bathroom when his executioners arrive, he's got a big gun and a fatal uncertainty of when to jump out and start shooting. He does so finally after hearing two of his comrades fall and, no marksman, unloads six shots from his gun without striking either of his targets once. Jules and Vincent don't make the same mistake. Their return fire blows Fourth Man away.
No. 4 - Maynard
![pulp fiction deaths, pulp fiction death scenes, maynard]()
We've heard of kissing cousins before, but tag team-sodomizing-rapists-who-dig-on-BDSM cousins was new to us until "Pulp Fiction" premiered in 1994. One of the aforementioned is Maynard, a greezy pawn shop owner whose basement is full of its own interesting array of curiosities. He sees a brawling, bloody, black and white duo burst into his store and immediately thinks it's time to party. But Butch, whose incredible good and bad luck has been constantly rotating back and forth since the day before, is also a slippery prisoner and crashes the cousins' party to save Marcellus mid-molestation by showing spectator Maynard the business end of a samurai sword. Though midway through our list, his murder is the most obviously deserved so far, and sets Butch off on his climactic path to revenge and redemption.
No. 3 - Marvin
![pulp fiction deaths, pulp fiction death scenes, martin shot in the face]()
Another accidental death, but our messiest one, and the cause of "The Bonnie Situation." Car passenger Vincent, careless with where he's pointing his gun, lets it discharge into Marvin's face. What follows is an explosion of blood, bones, and brains making our henchmen's workday much more complicated. Here lessons about gun safety and divine intervention collide, leaving behind one befouled getaway car that needs to get off the road fast.
No. 2 - Brett
![pulp fiction deaths, pulp fiction death scenes, brett]()
For many of us, the only thing worse than an untimely death is having to listen to scripture beforehand. That's the sad fate laid out for Brett, the leader of the pack who stole Marsellus' enigmatic briefcase. His death isn't as explosive as Marvin's or as cinematic as Maynard's but his too-slow realization that he, from his chair, is a sitting duck foments a foundation for the film as whole and all the murderous mayhem that will soon befall his other accomplices, acquaintances, or complete strangers in the pages to follow within this "Pulp Fiction" he's found himself in. He's a smart guy - just ask him about international translations of fast food hamburgers - who's done something way, way dumb that's left him in over his head with an ill-advised, shellshocked need to keep repeating the word "what."
No. 1 - Vincent Vega
![pulp fiction deaths, pulp fiction death scenes, vincent vega]()
In each of the three titled sections of the film - the two previously mentioned and the third, "Vincent Vega and Marsellus Wallace's Wife" - Vincent always picks the worst time to go to the bathroom. But in "The Gold Watch" this propensity costs him his life. Careless with a gun - again - he leaves it behind in Butch's kitchen when nature calls. (Not just a gun, by the way, but a machine pistol.) It's in that moment that Butch comes sneaking back to retrieve his cherished timepiece where he first finds the monstrous firearm, which he take in his hands, and then intruder Vincent emerging from the bathroom. Vincent is the only main character to die in the film, and therefore the most shocking death. But he is so likable, despite his profession and his deeds, that we are elated when he returns to live again in the film's final section thanks to its inventive, non-chronological story structure.
Dishonorable Mentions: Down in the Basement
We don't see them die, but can presume the worst for two final characters.
The Gimp
![pulp fiction deaths, pulp fiction death scenes, the gimp]()
His relationship to Maynard and Zed is unclear. And when we see him last Butch has only knocked him unconscious, left dangling from his harness and chains. But there's no way Marsellus is likely to let the The Gimp live. Either for his bystanding role to Marsellus' abuse or just good, no loose ends business practices. We didn't get to know the leather-clad freak very well and don't suspect anyone else will in the future.
Zed
![pulp fiction deaths, pulp fiction death scenes, zed]()
There's no hope for Zed. He's already been blasted in the nards by Marsellus with a shotgun. But the gangsta's direct promise to enlist a crew to go "medieval on [his] ass" conjures up a whole lot worse in store for this kinky predator than what we've already witnessed down in the basement so far. Butch's explanation to Fabienne that "Zed's dead" as they chopper off into the noonday sun makes him a worthy addition to this list of "Pulp Fiction's" fallen.
No. 7 - Floyd Wilson
Floyd kicks off our list in its lowest position because we don't actually see him die. We only get a glimpse of the bottom half of his corpse, lying motionless atop a dressing room table in the boxing arena where he unexpectedly has fought his last bout. Maybe because his opponent, Butch Coolidge, was supposed to take a dive, Floyd regrettably let his guard down in the ring and paid the ultimate price. But don't let his offscreen demise diminish the impact of his expiration. It's the very trigger that sets off the wild, blood-soaked, unbelievable action in store for Butch and Marsellus Wallace in "The Gold Watch."
No. 6 - Roger
Second on our list, but first among "Pulp Fiction's" ample body count, is Roger. Like our dead boxer, we never even see this guy stand up. Instead he remains lying prone on a couch throughout his entire screen time with a Kahuna burger resting on his stomach, unknowing perhaps that he too will soon be dead meat. Roger's end comes quickly and surprisingly at the hands of Jules, who calmly takes a break from a conversation with endangered partner-in-crime, Brett, to shoot him dead with one bullet. But before he goes he does receive something else from Jules -- the supercool nickname, Flock of Seagulls.
No. 5 - Fourth Man
Known simply as Fourth Man (though portrayed by an actor who would ironically transition into a woman in real life), he is further proof that he and his cohorts are no match for more seasoned criminals Jules and Vincent, despite the fact that they display their own long record of glaring missteps, too. Hidden in the bathroom when his executioners arrive, he's got a big gun and a fatal uncertainty of when to jump out and start shooting. He does so finally after hearing two of his comrades fall and, no marksman, unloads six shots from his gun without striking either of his targets once. Jules and Vincent don't make the same mistake. Their return fire blows Fourth Man away.
No. 4 - Maynard
We've heard of kissing cousins before, but tag team-sodomizing-rapists-who-dig-on-BDSM cousins was new to us until "Pulp Fiction" premiered in 1994. One of the aforementioned is Maynard, a greezy pawn shop owner whose basement is full of its own interesting array of curiosities. He sees a brawling, bloody, black and white duo burst into his store and immediately thinks it's time to party. But Butch, whose incredible good and bad luck has been constantly rotating back and forth since the day before, is also a slippery prisoner and crashes the cousins' party to save Marcellus mid-molestation by showing spectator Maynard the business end of a samurai sword. Though midway through our list, his murder is the most obviously deserved so far, and sets Butch off on his climactic path to revenge and redemption.
No. 3 - Marvin
Another accidental death, but our messiest one, and the cause of "The Bonnie Situation." Car passenger Vincent, careless with where he's pointing his gun, lets it discharge into Marvin's face. What follows is an explosion of blood, bones, and brains making our henchmen's workday much more complicated. Here lessons about gun safety and divine intervention collide, leaving behind one befouled getaway car that needs to get off the road fast.
No. 2 - Brett
For many of us, the only thing worse than an untimely death is having to listen to scripture beforehand. That's the sad fate laid out for Brett, the leader of the pack who stole Marsellus' enigmatic briefcase. His death isn't as explosive as Marvin's or as cinematic as Maynard's but his too-slow realization that he, from his chair, is a sitting duck foments a foundation for the film as whole and all the murderous mayhem that will soon befall his other accomplices, acquaintances, or complete strangers in the pages to follow within this "Pulp Fiction" he's found himself in. He's a smart guy - just ask him about international translations of fast food hamburgers - who's done something way, way dumb that's left him in over his head with an ill-advised, shellshocked need to keep repeating the word "what."
No. 1 - Vincent Vega
In each of the three titled sections of the film - the two previously mentioned and the third, "Vincent Vega and Marsellus Wallace's Wife" - Vincent always picks the worst time to go to the bathroom. But in "The Gold Watch" this propensity costs him his life. Careless with a gun - again - he leaves it behind in Butch's kitchen when nature calls. (Not just a gun, by the way, but a machine pistol.) It's in that moment that Butch comes sneaking back to retrieve his cherished timepiece where he first finds the monstrous firearm, which he take in his hands, and then intruder Vincent emerging from the bathroom. Vincent is the only main character to die in the film, and therefore the most shocking death. But he is so likable, despite his profession and his deeds, that we are elated when he returns to live again in the film's final section thanks to its inventive, non-chronological story structure.
Dishonorable Mentions: Down in the Basement
We don't see them die, but can presume the worst for two final characters.
The Gimp
His relationship to Maynard and Zed is unclear. And when we see him last Butch has only knocked him unconscious, left dangling from his harness and chains. But there's no way Marsellus is likely to let the The Gimp live. Either for his bystanding role to Marsellus' abuse or just good, no loose ends business practices. We didn't get to know the leather-clad freak very well and don't suspect anyone else will in the future.
Zed
There's no hope for Zed. He's already been blasted in the nards by Marsellus with a shotgun. But the gangsta's direct promise to enlist a crew to go "medieval on [his] ass" conjures up a whole lot worse in store for this kinky predator than what we've already witnessed down in the basement so far. Butch's explanation to Fabienne that "Zed's dead" as they chopper off into the noonday sun makes him a worthy addition to this list of "Pulp Fiction's" fallen.
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The Common Office Phrase Translator
As we go about our mundane and routine lives, we've grown accustomed to all sorts of small chat and gossip in the office. But just because you hear certain things in the office every single day doesn't mean you necessarily know what they mean. Here is a collection of some very common phrases overheard throughout each day in the office and the meanings behind them.
![common office phrase translator]()
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Idiot Falls Off Boat While Watching Bikini-Clad Twerking Girls
Beware the siren song of the half naked, dancing women, my friend, for nothing but harm will come in the end. If Greek mythology has taught us anything, it's that you shouldn't let a few beautiful women make you incapable of rational thought. Will we ever learn? Apparently, not.
All of which is just a really nice way of saying: watch this idiot bro try to jump onto a boat full of grinding bikini babes. And fail. Fail real bad.
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A-hole Russian Soccer Coach Kicks Kid
This kid is learning at an earlier age than most that living in Russia sucks.
A video of two Russian youth soccer teams recently uploaded to YouTube is making some waves, but it's not because the kids are really good at soccer.
In fact, the asshole coach of one the teams thought one of his players was playing so poorly that he deserved to be kicked hard enough to knock him off his feet.
Perhaps even more amazing than the coach wrecking one of his own players is the fact that the match continues as if nothing out of the ordinary has happened. Then again, since it is Russia we're talking about here, maybe nothing out of the ordinary did happen.
Here's another move that probably won't get your kids to play at a higher level: High School Soccer Coach Accidentally Sends Video of Himself Masturbating to His Players
A video of two Russian youth soccer teams recently uploaded to YouTube is making some waves, but it's not because the kids are really good at soccer.
In fact, the asshole coach of one the teams thought one of his players was playing so poorly that he deserved to be kicked hard enough to knock him off his feet.
Perhaps even more amazing than the coach wrecking one of his own players is the fact that the match continues as if nothing out of the ordinary has happened. Then again, since it is Russia we're talking about here, maybe nothing out of the ordinary did happen.
Here's another move that probably won't get your kids to play at a higher level: High School Soccer Coach Accidentally Sends Video of Himself Masturbating to His Players
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This Guy Gets Paid $250,000 a Year to Look and Party Like Alan From 'The Hangover'
It looks like he's cleaning house with the ladies, too.
According to the Daily Mail, a former hotel manager in Philadelphia is now living the high life in Las Vegas, and it's all because of his uncanny resemblance to Zach Galifianakis's character Alan from "The Hangover" trilogy.
![Las Vegas man making $250,000 a year as alan from The Hangover]()
38-year-old Thaddeus Kalinoski looks so much like Galifianakis that he is commanding $1,000 for an appearance at Las Vegas bachelor and bachelorette parties, and people are paying it.
Kalinoski said he didn't realize how much he looked like the actor until his wife left him, and the resulting depression -- complete with excessive eating and drinking, of course -- left him 20 pounds heavier.
"Then one day after not shaving for several weeks I looked at myself in the mirror and thought, 'Wait a minute - you look like Alan,'" Kalinoski said.
After trying out his new look in Atlantic City, Kalinoski said he and his friend decided to give Vegas a shot, and everything changed when he got there. People were buying him drinks and handing over their cash for photos, and girls were "making out with him in cabs and nightclubs."
In fact, Kalinoski was doing so well on the Vegas strip that producers hired him as a double in "The Hangover III." On top of the movie appearance and money, he said one of the biggest perks of the job is that he needs to maintain a belly, as he loves to eat and drink.
Oh, and then there's the gals.
![Las Vegas man making $250,000 as Zach Galifianakis lookalike]()
![Las Vegas man making $250,000 as Zach Galifianakis lookalike]()
![Las Vegas man making $250,000 as Zach Galifianakis lookalike]()
![Las Vegas man making $250,000 as Zach Galifianakis lookalike]()
The real Zach Galifianakis seems to be doing quite well for himself, too: President Barack Obama Talks To Zach Galifianakis On 'Between Two Ferns'
According to the Daily Mail, a former hotel manager in Philadelphia is now living the high life in Las Vegas, and it's all because of his uncanny resemblance to Zach Galifianakis's character Alan from "The Hangover" trilogy.
38-year-old Thaddeus Kalinoski looks so much like Galifianakis that he is commanding $1,000 for an appearance at Las Vegas bachelor and bachelorette parties, and people are paying it.
Kalinoski said he didn't realize how much he looked like the actor until his wife left him, and the resulting depression -- complete with excessive eating and drinking, of course -- left him 20 pounds heavier.
"Then one day after not shaving for several weeks I looked at myself in the mirror and thought, 'Wait a minute - you look like Alan,'" Kalinoski said.
After trying out his new look in Atlantic City, Kalinoski said he and his friend decided to give Vegas a shot, and everything changed when he got there. People were buying him drinks and handing over their cash for photos, and girls were "making out with him in cabs and nightclubs."
In fact, Kalinoski was doing so well on the Vegas strip that producers hired him as a double in "The Hangover III." On top of the movie appearance and money, he said one of the biggest perks of the job is that he needs to maintain a belly, as he loves to eat and drink.
Oh, and then there's the gals.
The real Zach Galifianakis seems to be doing quite well for himself, too: President Barack Obama Talks To Zach Galifianakis On 'Between Two Ferns'
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Florida Cop Takes Down Two Spring Break Idiots Resisting Arrest (NSFW Language)
Look how much fun they're having on Spring Break this year!
According to WFTS, two St. Petersburg men got their asses handed to them by one badass Pinellas County deputy Sunday afternoon, and the entire incident was captured on video.
Sgt. Bryan Bingham was responding to a report of fighting on the beach when he encountered 25-year-old Joshua McMahan doing just that. Bingham used an impressive choke slam to subdue McMahan, but the officer's problems were only beginning.
That's because Justin Lewis was not a fan of the way his friend was being treated, so he attempted to break up the situation, albeit rather poorly. When the dust and sand had settled, Lewis and McMahan were charged with disorderly conduct and battery of a law enforcement officer.
A Stetson University law professor said that based on what he saw in the video, Bingham had every right to "meet violence with violence," and the two bros will have a hard time convincing a judge they were not resisting arrest.
But we think the dude recording the whole thing summed it up best with, "Shit's crazy."
What would happen if the characters from "Game of Thrones" went on Spring Break? 'Game of Thrones' Characters Discuss Their Spring Break Plans on Facebook
According to WFTS, two St. Petersburg men got their asses handed to them by one badass Pinellas County deputy Sunday afternoon, and the entire incident was captured on video.
Sgt. Bryan Bingham was responding to a report of fighting on the beach when he encountered 25-year-old Joshua McMahan doing just that. Bingham used an impressive choke slam to subdue McMahan, but the officer's problems were only beginning.
That's because Justin Lewis was not a fan of the way his friend was being treated, so he attempted to break up the situation, albeit rather poorly. When the dust and sand had settled, Lewis and McMahan were charged with disorderly conduct and battery of a law enforcement officer.
A Stetson University law professor said that based on what he saw in the video, Bingham had every right to "meet violence with violence," and the two bros will have a hard time convincing a judge they were not resisting arrest.
But we think the dude recording the whole thing summed it up best with, "Shit's crazy."
What would happen if the characters from "Game of Thrones" went on Spring Break? 'Game of Thrones' Characters Discuss Their Spring Break Plans on Facebook
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The 'FHRITP' Prank on Live TV Simply Will Not Die (NSFW Language)
What started as a vulgar videobomb during a live report (which was later determined to be staged) has snowballed into a worldwide craze, and now no news station is safe from some jerk being interviewed abruptly yelling out, "F**k her right in the pussy."
The latest victim is Canadian News station CP24, who sent a sports reporter out to the streets to ask fans how they felt about Toronto Maple Leafs player Nazem Kadri getting benched for oversleeping and missing a team meeting. Unfortunately, they settled on this guy. After admitting to being late to his own job frequently (no surprise there), he dropped the bomb that is becoming more and more common on live local news.
Note to all other news stations out there: If you are going to do live interviews with the public, you may want to consider a 7-second delay. Otherwise, you're going to keep having reporters send it back to the studio saying, "Oh my goodness! That was awful."
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Lindsey Pelas' Slow Motion Bouncing Boobs Will Melt Your Eyes
Lindsey Pelas has been a recent favorite of ours for obvious reasons, but now she's gone above and beyond the call of beauty. The buxom blonde model has delivered a slow motion video of herself running in the middle of a field, and her bouncing boobs now have us on a hunt for this exact field, as well as the secret to time travel. Lindsey's new video has unsurprisingly gone viral with more than a million and a half views in the last week, and that's only going to rise. For more Lindsey Pelas and her amazing breasts, check out her profile on Mandatory.
Related: Busty, Bouncy and Beautiful Boob GIFs, Vol. 2
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Today's Funny Photos
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Bruce Jenner's Transformation Has Been Absolutely Staggering
By now we've all heard the news that Bruce Jenner is currently in the process of transitioning from male to female. The announcement only came recently, but he's apparently been at it for while. So, we took a look at some of his photos from the past to his most current and we found the the change is absolutely noticeable and mindblowing. Have a look for yourself.
![Bruce Jenner transformation, bruce jenner funny]()
![Bruce Jenner transformation, bruce jenner funny, kanye gif funny]()
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The Most Dangerous Bars in the World
Bars serve a number of different purposes. Sure, you can get a drink there, but you can also meet people, exchange ideas and sometimes even get your ass kicked. In this feature, we'll scour the globe for bars that really match with that last quality. Here are the most dangerous drinking establishments in the history of the world.
The Flying Shuttle
![the flying shuttle]()
The English love their drink, and pub culture is ingrained into society. But The Flying Shuttle in Bolton probably should have been closed down long ago. Bartenders at the notoriously rowdy establishment were sometimes forced to serve patrons long after closing time because they were afraid the drunks would trash the place if they didn't. When cops finally put it out of business after dozens of raids, the regulars went on an insane arson spree in the neighborhood, stealing garden furniture and garbage cans and using them to start blazes in the bar's parking lot. (Photo credit: Tysons Beer Blog)
The Elbow Room
![the elbow room]()
Alaska natives can tell you that during the long cold winters, there's not much else to do but drink. One of the most notorious spots was The Elbow Room in the tiny town of Unalaska. In its prime, the Room was a constant flurry of drinks, money and fists. Crabbers would come in with their paychecks in cash and blow it all by ringing the bell over the bar and buying rounds for the house. The remote location (Unalaska is in the middle of the Aleutian chain of islands) and lack of women made The Elbow Room a nightmare, and even the town's hiring of former Texas Rangers to enforce order barely worked. (Photo credit: Photosynth)
Terminal Bar
![terminal bar]()
New Yorkers know that their city has been pretty seriously sanitized over the last few decades, especially around Times Square. But back in the '70s and '80s, that area was one of the most dismal in the city. The pimps, pushers, prostitutes and other dregs of Midtown all clustered at the Terminal Bar on 41st and 8th to drink their days and nights away. Transforming from a working-class Irish establishment to a pansexual, mostly black people bar wasn't without its growing pains, and police were called to the Terminal on just about a daily basis. (Photo credit: Blogspot)
Abdille Nuradin's Bar
![abdille nuradin's bar]()
If you're hanging out in Somalia's capital city Mogadishu, chances are you need a drink. The hot spot in town is Abdille Nuradin's Bar, located in front of the STN Tele Comp building. What's inside this bar isn't terrifically scary - in fact, it's rather posh. But the neighborhood elevates it to truly dangerous territory. Frequent automatic weapons' fire punctuates drinking sessions of 60-cent Heineken; car bombs have detonated outside and blackened the walls; and occasionally Muslim extremists pop off a couple shots inside in protest of Nuradin's serving of alcohol. (Photo credit: ISN via FlickrCC)
Ups 'N Downs
![ups n downs]()
The Boston area is notorious for some seriously heavy drinking, but one bar that stood out from the pack for sheer violence was Dorchester's Ups 'N Downs. The place has been host to multiple room-clearing brawls, including a Christmas melee that involved a woman smashing a glass into the bartender's face, only to be cold-cocked in response. One of the causes of tension was the bar's two-floor structure, which packed the upstairs with African-Americans listening to hip-hop and the downstairs with Irish folk. In 2012, the city closed the place down after a knife melee left a bouncer hospitalized. (Photo credit: Boston Herald)
Quinn's
![quinn's pub]()
Even an island paradise like Tahiti can get nasty on occasion, but luckily there's one place that it seems to be localized in: Quinn's Bar in Papeete. Located on the waterfront, this ramshackle hut was notorious for the no-rules chaos that spilled out of its doors each and every night. The horseshoe-shaped bar was the eye of a hurricane of violence and depravity, with multiple fistfights breaking out on a daily basis. The bar's main room was ringed with curtained booths in which all manner of depravity took place, and beer bottles flew through the air like mosquitoes. (Photo credit: Tahiti Heritage)
The Ploughman
![the ploughman]()
Liverpool pub The Ploughman has been in and out of the papers repeatedly for its intense level of violence. The bar has long served as a gathering place for local drug dealers. It was shut down in February after a gangland assassination saw a man shot through the front window of the place, with bullets narrowly missing other customers. The owners deny any responsibility for the anarchic nature of the pub that sees frequent brutal fistfights, but police allege that they stockpile guns and drugs for gangsters in the bar's upstairs room. (Photo credit: Liverpool Echo)
PJ's Cocktail Lounge
![pj's cocktail lounge]()
Let's head back to the Big Apple to show that, no matter how gentrified the city gets, there are still pockets of absolute chaos. Up in Harlem sits PJ's Cocktail Lounge, a wretched hive of scum and villainy that since 2010 has been the site of multiple shootings, fistfights, beatings and other violence. PJ's has been shut down in the past for serving to minors, but they obviously haven't learned their lesson. With the body count that this place has racked up, you're putting your life at risk just by walking down the sidewalk in front of it. (Photo credit: Columbia Spectator)
St. Helier Tavern
![st. helier tavern, morden tavern]()
Let's head back to Britain for another rough pub. The St. Helier Tavern in the London suburb of Carshalton is a grim brick structure that plays host to all manner of mayhem, week in and week out. Originally opened in 1936, the place became a gathering spot for organized crime in the '90s and things started to go off the rails very quickly. Not one but several shotgun murders have happened at the St. Helier, with one notable incident in 1994 featuring two yobs in stocking masks blasting a guy on the pub's patio and then trying to slit his throat in front of multiple witnesses. (Photo credit: Local Guardian)
Baghdad Country Club
![baghdad country club]()
If you're going to list dangerous bars, this short-lived watering hole located inside the Green Zone in Iraq's war-torn capital city has to make the list. The ironically named Baghdad Country Club was the creation of a British paratrooper who wanted to create an enclave for Westerners to get away from the chaos in 2006, and surprisingly it ran fairly smoothly. Baghdad itself was embroiled in chaos, with multiple armies squabbling in the streets and mortar fire a constant, so if you were there at the time you probably needed a drink pretty bad. (Photo credit: Toru Okada via Flickr CC)
The Flying Shuttle
The English love their drink, and pub culture is ingrained into society. But The Flying Shuttle in Bolton probably should have been closed down long ago. Bartenders at the notoriously rowdy establishment were sometimes forced to serve patrons long after closing time because they were afraid the drunks would trash the place if they didn't. When cops finally put it out of business after dozens of raids, the regulars went on an insane arson spree in the neighborhood, stealing garden furniture and garbage cans and using them to start blazes in the bar's parking lot. (Photo credit: Tysons Beer Blog)
The Elbow Room
Alaska natives can tell you that during the long cold winters, there's not much else to do but drink. One of the most notorious spots was The Elbow Room in the tiny town of Unalaska. In its prime, the Room was a constant flurry of drinks, money and fists. Crabbers would come in with their paychecks in cash and blow it all by ringing the bell over the bar and buying rounds for the house. The remote location (Unalaska is in the middle of the Aleutian chain of islands) and lack of women made The Elbow Room a nightmare, and even the town's hiring of former Texas Rangers to enforce order barely worked. (Photo credit: Photosynth)
Terminal Bar
New Yorkers know that their city has been pretty seriously sanitized over the last few decades, especially around Times Square. But back in the '70s and '80s, that area was one of the most dismal in the city. The pimps, pushers, prostitutes and other dregs of Midtown all clustered at the Terminal Bar on 41st and 8th to drink their days and nights away. Transforming from a working-class Irish establishment to a pansexual, mostly black people bar wasn't without its growing pains, and police were called to the Terminal on just about a daily basis. (Photo credit: Blogspot)
Abdille Nuradin's Bar
If you're hanging out in Somalia's capital city Mogadishu, chances are you need a drink. The hot spot in town is Abdille Nuradin's Bar, located in front of the STN Tele Comp building. What's inside this bar isn't terrifically scary - in fact, it's rather posh. But the neighborhood elevates it to truly dangerous territory. Frequent automatic weapons' fire punctuates drinking sessions of 60-cent Heineken; car bombs have detonated outside and blackened the walls; and occasionally Muslim extremists pop off a couple shots inside in protest of Nuradin's serving of alcohol. (Photo credit: ISN via FlickrCC)
Ups 'N Downs
The Boston area is notorious for some seriously heavy drinking, but one bar that stood out from the pack for sheer violence was Dorchester's Ups 'N Downs. The place has been host to multiple room-clearing brawls, including a Christmas melee that involved a woman smashing a glass into the bartender's face, only to be cold-cocked in response. One of the causes of tension was the bar's two-floor structure, which packed the upstairs with African-Americans listening to hip-hop and the downstairs with Irish folk. In 2012, the city closed the place down after a knife melee left a bouncer hospitalized. (Photo credit: Boston Herald)
Quinn's
Even an island paradise like Tahiti can get nasty on occasion, but luckily there's one place that it seems to be localized in: Quinn's Bar in Papeete. Located on the waterfront, this ramshackle hut was notorious for the no-rules chaos that spilled out of its doors each and every night. The horseshoe-shaped bar was the eye of a hurricane of violence and depravity, with multiple fistfights breaking out on a daily basis. The bar's main room was ringed with curtained booths in which all manner of depravity took place, and beer bottles flew through the air like mosquitoes. (Photo credit: Tahiti Heritage)
The Ploughman
Liverpool pub The Ploughman has been in and out of the papers repeatedly for its intense level of violence. The bar has long served as a gathering place for local drug dealers. It was shut down in February after a gangland assassination saw a man shot through the front window of the place, with bullets narrowly missing other customers. The owners deny any responsibility for the anarchic nature of the pub that sees frequent brutal fistfights, but police allege that they stockpile guns and drugs for gangsters in the bar's upstairs room. (Photo credit: Liverpool Echo)
PJ's Cocktail Lounge
Let's head back to the Big Apple to show that, no matter how gentrified the city gets, there are still pockets of absolute chaos. Up in Harlem sits PJ's Cocktail Lounge, a wretched hive of scum and villainy that since 2010 has been the site of multiple shootings, fistfights, beatings and other violence. PJ's has been shut down in the past for serving to minors, but they obviously haven't learned their lesson. With the body count that this place has racked up, you're putting your life at risk just by walking down the sidewalk in front of it. (Photo credit: Columbia Spectator)
St. Helier Tavern
Let's head back to Britain for another rough pub. The St. Helier Tavern in the London suburb of Carshalton is a grim brick structure that plays host to all manner of mayhem, week in and week out. Originally opened in 1936, the place became a gathering spot for organized crime in the '90s and things started to go off the rails very quickly. Not one but several shotgun murders have happened at the St. Helier, with one notable incident in 1994 featuring two yobs in stocking masks blasting a guy on the pub's patio and then trying to slit his throat in front of multiple witnesses. (Photo credit: Local Guardian)
Baghdad Country Club
If you're going to list dangerous bars, this short-lived watering hole located inside the Green Zone in Iraq's war-torn capital city has to make the list. The ironically named Baghdad Country Club was the creation of a British paratrooper who wanted to create an enclave for Westerners to get away from the chaos in 2006, and surprisingly it ran fairly smoothly. Baghdad itself was embroiled in chaos, with multiple armies squabbling in the streets and mortar fire a constant, so if you were there at the time you probably needed a drink pretty bad. (Photo credit: Toru Okada via Flickr CC)
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10 Cartoon Characters Who Got Arrested
Dressing up as a beloved cartoon character comes with a lot of responsibility. You have a certain image to uphold since you are pretty much seen as a god to children everywhere. Apparently, all of the people on this list didn't get the memo. Here are some "cartoon characters" who got involved in some pretty messed up stuff.
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Perp: Mickey Mouse
Crime: Forging cough syrup prescriptions
What Went Down: Who knew Micky was into sizzurp? Mickey Mouse, or at least a woman donning Mickey Mouse scrubs, was arrested in California for forging 20 prescriptions of a narcotic cough syrup in hopes to sell it. She'd come into the pharmacy dressed as the famous Disney character and purchase fixings for purple drank. She was held on $1 million bail this year.
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Perp: Pluto
Crime: Murder
What Went Down: Pluto was an accessory to murder. The beloved character and other Magic Kingdom employees went out one night in 1995 and attempted to steal Larry Oliver's red pickup truck, killing him with repeated shotgun blasts in the process. A camera caught the sociopathic crew flashing gang signs and smoking blunts mere moments after the murder. Pluto's real name was Clarissa Wilburn, 19.
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Perp: Goofy, Frosty the Snowman, Micky Mouse, & Minnie
Crime: Having fun?
What Went Down: Disneyland Paris drew ire in 2006 when members of the cast got freaky with each other during downtime. Minnie Mouse is practically being passed around like a bag of Oreos while Goofy, Frosty, and Mickey take turns grinding up on her. While this story caused international outrage, it's obvious the employees were just having a nonthreatening dry orgy. No one was arrested.
![cartoon characters arrested]()
Perp: Donald Duck
Crime: Coping a feel
What Went Down: A 27-year-old alleges she was visiting Epcot with her fiancé and children when she sought a Donald Duck autograph. Mr. Duck grabbed her boob. He then threw his hands in the air as if to say "Oopsies!" She sued Disney for negligence, battery, and emotional distress.
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Perp: Tigger
Crime: Molesting a 13-year-old
What Went Down: A mother and a daughter were taking pictures with Tigger at Disney World in 2004. Tigger then surreptitiously massaged the child's breast multiple times. When they left the park, the daughter told her mother what happened and mother said that Tigger did the same to her. Police charged him with one count of lewd and lascivious molestation of a child and one count of battery. Winnie wasn't available for comment.
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Perp: Winnie the Pooh
Crime: Stabbing
What Went Down: The New York Times reported in January of a fatal stabbing in an NYC deli. The perpetrator, Winnie, was caught on camera. "The argument was about beer," fellow Times Square costumed character Elmo said. Two aspects of this story make it special: 1) The stabbing, 2) The fact that beneath those furry exteriors lie raging alcoholic clowns.
![]()
Perp: Captain America
Perp: Mickey Mouse
Crime: Forging cough syrup prescriptions
What Went Down: Who knew Micky was into sizzurp? Mickey Mouse, or at least a woman donning Mickey Mouse scrubs, was arrested in California for forging 20 prescriptions of a narcotic cough syrup in hopes to sell it. She'd come into the pharmacy dressed as the famous Disney character and purchase fixings for purple drank. She was held on $1 million bail this year.
Perp: Pluto
Crime: Murder
What Went Down: Pluto was an accessory to murder. The beloved character and other Magic Kingdom employees went out one night in 1995 and attempted to steal Larry Oliver's red pickup truck, killing him with repeated shotgun blasts in the process. A camera caught the sociopathic crew flashing gang signs and smoking blunts mere moments after the murder. Pluto's real name was Clarissa Wilburn, 19.
Perp: Goofy, Frosty the Snowman, Micky Mouse, & Minnie
Crime: Having fun?
What Went Down: Disneyland Paris drew ire in 2006 when members of the cast got freaky with each other during downtime. Minnie Mouse is practically being passed around like a bag of Oreos while Goofy, Frosty, and Mickey take turns grinding up on her. While this story caused international outrage, it's obvious the employees were just having a nonthreatening dry orgy. No one was arrested.
Perp: Donald Duck
Crime: Coping a feel
What Went Down: A 27-year-old alleges she was visiting Epcot with her fiancé and children when she sought a Donald Duck autograph. Mr. Duck grabbed her boob. He then threw his hands in the air as if to say "Oopsies!" She sued Disney for negligence, battery, and emotional distress.
Perp: Tigger
Crime: Molesting a 13-year-old
What Went Down: A mother and a daughter were taking pictures with Tigger at Disney World in 2004. Tigger then surreptitiously massaged the child's breast multiple times. When they left the park, the daughter told her mother what happened and mother said that Tigger did the same to her. Police charged him with one count of lewd and lascivious molestation of a child and one count of battery. Winnie wasn't available for comment.
Perp: Winnie the Pooh
Crime: Stabbing
What Went Down: The New York Times reported in January of a fatal stabbing in an NYC deli. The perpetrator, Winnie, was caught on camera. "The argument was about beer," fellow Times Square costumed character Elmo said. Two aspects of this story make it special: 1) The stabbing, 2) The fact that beneath those furry exteriors lie raging alcoholic clowns.
Perp: Captain America
Crime: Asking a woman to "touch the burrito in his pants"
What Went Down: A Florida doctor dressed as Captain America stuffed a burrito down his pants during a pub crawl in 2007. He asked a woman if she wanted to touch the burrito in his pants. She obviously refused, so he took the only logical action he could take - he groped her. Police found him trying to flush a pot joint down the toilet, and he was arrested for battery, disorderly conduct, drug possession, and trying to destroy evidence. They later found the offending burrito within his boot.
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Perp: Woody
Crime: Sex abuse
What Went Down: There have been oodles of criminal offenses caused by costumed characters in Times Square. Woody from "Toy Story" was arrested in 2014 for fondling multiple women, presumably with a woody.
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Perp: Elmo
Crime: Extortion
What Went Down: He was once arrested for shouting antisemitic slurs at little girls. In late 2013, he was arrested for trying to extort $2 million from the Girl Scouts of America. The man goes by the name Adam Sandler, which is weird because Adam Sandler is Jewish.
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Perp: Goofy
Crime: Child porn
What Went Down: In February 2007, police charged Goofy with 51 felony counts of child pornography. Real name? Matthew Wendland, 20. His roommates tipped off the police and Goofy was arrested after finding more than 1,000 images of naked children in his room. He'd been employed by Epcot for months. It seems Goofy's anthropomorphism extends to the worst human behaviors.
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Perp: Donald Duck
Crime: DUI
What Went Down: A 51-year-old Ohioan named Donald Norman Duck crashed his jeep into a van in a Little Caesar's drive-thru. When the police came, they found a baggie of marijuana. He was shithoused. He had a four previous convictions for driving under the influence. If it drinks like a Duck...
Perp: Woody
Crime: Sex abuse
What Went Down: There have been oodles of criminal offenses caused by costumed characters in Times Square. Woody from "Toy Story" was arrested in 2014 for fondling multiple women, presumably with a woody.
Perp: Elmo
Crime: Extortion
What Went Down: He was once arrested for shouting antisemitic slurs at little girls. In late 2013, he was arrested for trying to extort $2 million from the Girl Scouts of America. The man goes by the name Adam Sandler, which is weird because Adam Sandler is Jewish.
Perp: Goofy
Crime: Child porn
What Went Down: In February 2007, police charged Goofy with 51 felony counts of child pornography. Real name? Matthew Wendland, 20. His roommates tipped off the police and Goofy was arrested after finding more than 1,000 images of naked children in his room. He'd been employed by Epcot for months. It seems Goofy's anthropomorphism extends to the worst human behaviors.
Perp: Donald Duck
Crime: DUI
What Went Down: A 51-year-old Ohioan named Donald Norman Duck crashed his jeep into a van in a Little Caesar's drive-thru. When the police came, they found a baggie of marijuana. He was shithoused. He had a four previous convictions for driving under the influence. If it drinks like a Duck...
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The Definitive Ranking of the 50 Worst Selfies Ever Posted on the Internet
Imagine seeing someone take a selfie ten years ago. You'd think they were completely insane. Nowadays cell phone cameras have to have a feature that lets you take a photo of your own face because we've become obsessed with taking pictures of ourselves. The internet is flooded with people trying to outdo each other with the most over the top and absurd selfies. Unfortunately, we've looked through more of them than any human should, and put together the 50 worst selfies ever posted online. Brace yourself because it is not a pretty sight to see.
50. What if this was before some sort of chicken prom?
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49. The good news is your selfie went viral. The bad news is you no longer have a face.
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48. This proves it's impossible to look sexy while holding a roll of toilet paper.
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47. Are those Uggs on the toilet? One of these people is either very overdressed or extremely underdressed for the weather.
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46. This is how every Nicholas Cage selfie should look.
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45. When your lawnmower game is on point and you want everyone to know.
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44. Ah, the miracle of life.
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43. If your boat's sinking and your passengers are struggling to stay above water, always take a selfie.
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42. Imagine explaining to your parents how you accidentally set the bathroom on fire.
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41. The police are tackling someone. Obviously we have to document this with our faces.
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40. Let's just get the Geraldo selfie out of the way now so you're not dreading it the entire time.
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39. Literally everything about this picture is horrendous, right down to that leopard print hand towel.
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38. "Can you give me, like, five minutes, Heather?!"
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37. If we knew how our food was really prepared, we'd never go out to eat again.
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36. You can either make sure there's not a mirror in the background or just wait until you're done pooping to take a selfie.
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35. I pray this was for Halloween.
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34. Do you realize how much preparation it took for him to take a selfie that looked like he was on a flying tricycle?
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33. She realizes she's in public, right?
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32. You should go directly to jail for this, even if it was originally just going to be a warning.
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31. What could possibly go wrong?
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30. All this, plus he's still using a flip phone?
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29. No one is less excited about this picture than the cat getting picked up by his crotch.
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28. That's definitely going in the baby book as a treasured memory.
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27. I have tried to recreate this and I still have no idea what she was trying to accomplish. Please let me know your theories.
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26. I quit.
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25. Great, now I'm terrified to use anyone else's phone because I'm afraid they just rubbed their toes all over it.
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24. Is there a more accurate photo of the current generation gap than this one?
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23. You might die, but at least you got 8 likes!
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22. "See honey, this is how you're going to get a new daddy."
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21. Trust me, no one wants to have their head hidden in the corner more than him.
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20. I'm sorry, but whatever reason she's crying is completely deserved.
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19. Always check the reflection in your glasses when you're taking a selfie while dildo shopping.
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18. This may actually be the greatest selfie of all time.
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17. That kid will never be able to unsee the horrible things he's probably witnessed.
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16. Was the smiley face emoji really necessary?
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15. I want to see the picture she took more than I've ever wanted to see anything.
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14. This is a great reminder of what happens when you take unprotected selfies.
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13. Come on, what kind of monster gets up without flushing?
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12. If this picture is any indication, she missed the last few times you came to visit her.
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11. She probably doesn't believe in vaccinations either.
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10. If Adobe knew this is how people were going to use Photoshop, they would have thrown the code into the ocean.
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9. Aww, this funeral is SO about me.
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8. I feel like we should have blurred out these ta-tas, right?
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7. If you're diabetic, look away immediately.
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6. It's going to be so easy to catch criminals when they just start posting their own wanted posters.
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5. When you're having a great hair day, why let a little death get in the way of showing it off?
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4. Anne Frank in the house! What's up!?
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3. He's definitely going to hell for that one. No way around it.
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2. That's a Four Square check-in where you really don't want to become mayor.
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1. He leaned into the casket for that one. Was the rest of the family there? How is this a real thing?
![The Worst Selfies Ever, worst selfie, funny selfie, selfie]()
50. What if this was before some sort of chicken prom?
49. The good news is your selfie went viral. The bad news is you no longer have a face.
48. This proves it's impossible to look sexy while holding a roll of toilet paper.
47. Are those Uggs on the toilet? One of these people is either very overdressed or extremely underdressed for the weather.
46. This is how every Nicholas Cage selfie should look.
45. When your lawnmower game is on point and you want everyone to know.
44. Ah, the miracle of life.
43. If your boat's sinking and your passengers are struggling to stay above water, always take a selfie.
42. Imagine explaining to your parents how you accidentally set the bathroom on fire.
41. The police are tackling someone. Obviously we have to document this with our faces.
40. Let's just get the Geraldo selfie out of the way now so you're not dreading it the entire time.
39. Literally everything about this picture is horrendous, right down to that leopard print hand towel.
38. "Can you give me, like, five minutes, Heather?!"
37. If we knew how our food was really prepared, we'd never go out to eat again.
36. You can either make sure there's not a mirror in the background or just wait until you're done pooping to take a selfie.
35. I pray this was for Halloween.
34. Do you realize how much preparation it took for him to take a selfie that looked like he was on a flying tricycle?
33. She realizes she's in public, right?
32. You should go directly to jail for this, even if it was originally just going to be a warning.
31. What could possibly go wrong?
30. All this, plus he's still using a flip phone?
29. No one is less excited about this picture than the cat getting picked up by his crotch.
28. That's definitely going in the baby book as a treasured memory.
27. I have tried to recreate this and I still have no idea what she was trying to accomplish. Please let me know your theories.
26. I quit.
25. Great, now I'm terrified to use anyone else's phone because I'm afraid they just rubbed their toes all over it.
24. Is there a more accurate photo of the current generation gap than this one?
23. You might die, but at least you got 8 likes!
22. "See honey, this is how you're going to get a new daddy."
21. Trust me, no one wants to have their head hidden in the corner more than him.
20. I'm sorry, but whatever reason she's crying is completely deserved.
19. Always check the reflection in your glasses when you're taking a selfie while dildo shopping.
18. This may actually be the greatest selfie of all time.
17. That kid will never be able to unsee the horrible things he's probably witnessed.
16. Was the smiley face emoji really necessary?
15. I want to see the picture she took more than I've ever wanted to see anything.
14. This is a great reminder of what happens when you take unprotected selfies.
13. Come on, what kind of monster gets up without flushing?
12. If this picture is any indication, she missed the last few times you came to visit her.
11. She probably doesn't believe in vaccinations either.
10. If Adobe knew this is how people were going to use Photoshop, they would have thrown the code into the ocean.
9. Aww, this funeral is SO about me.
8. I feel like we should have blurred out these ta-tas, right?
7. If you're diabetic, look away immediately.
6. It's going to be so easy to catch criminals when they just start posting their own wanted posters.
5. When you're having a great hair day, why let a little death get in the way of showing it off?
4. Anne Frank in the house! What's up!?
3. He's definitely going to hell for that one. No way around it.
2. That's a Four Square check-in where you really don't want to become mayor.
1. He leaned into the casket for that one. Was the rest of the family there? How is this a real thing?
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Here's the Real Michael Bolton Reenacting Scenes From 'Office Space'
Imagine if his music was as good as his sense of humor.
Two-time Grammy Award winner Michael Bolton was the butt of dozens of jokes in the 1999 Mike Judge classic "Office Space." We're not sure why it took 16 years to happen, but the pop singer finally teamed up with the crew at Funny or Die and reenacted several scenes from the movie.
To say it doesn't disappoint is a bigger understatement than saying Lindsey Pelas is busty.
Bolton jokingly told the gang at HuffPost Live several years ago that he had been in contact with Mike Judge about starring in "Office Space 2," and based on what we've seen, that now seems like a hell of an idea.
Seriously though, Bolton's music is terrible: Over 20 Years Ago Michael Bolton Wrote the Creepiest Song Ever and No One Seems to Notice
Two-time Grammy Award winner Michael Bolton was the butt of dozens of jokes in the 1999 Mike Judge classic "Office Space." We're not sure why it took 16 years to happen, but the pop singer finally teamed up with the crew at Funny or Die and reenacted several scenes from the movie.
To say it doesn't disappoint is a bigger understatement than saying Lindsey Pelas is busty.
Bolton jokingly told the gang at HuffPost Live several years ago that he had been in contact with Mike Judge about starring in "Office Space 2," and based on what we've seen, that now seems like a hell of an idea.
Seriously though, Bolton's music is terrible: Over 20 Years Ago Michael Bolton Wrote the Creepiest Song Ever and No One Seems to Notice
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The Culprit Of This Ass Cheek Bite Mark Might Shock You
When you see a photo like this, you think to yourself: things look like they got a little out of hand in the bedroom last night. And you think right. But probably not how you'd expect. Keep scrolling to see who pulled off this kind of disturbing, kind of impressive kinky feat.
![ass cheek bite mark]()
![ass cheek bite mark]()
Via It'sFunnyToMemke
Via It'sFunnyToMemke
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Study Shows Americans More Likely to Have an STD Than Europeans
Still think handing out free condoms is a bad idea?
According to the Daily Mail, a recent study conducted by researchers at Superdrug revealed a shockingly high rate of chlamydia among Americans, especially when compared to their European counterparts.
![American way more likely to get STDs than Europeans]()
Even more alarming is the fact that Washington, D.C. required its own scale "due to its very high rate of STDs."
While the rate of chlamydia per 100,000 people was comparable in the early '80s, the rate among Americans skyrocketed in 1985 while remaining somewhat stagnant in Europe. There is good news for Americans, however, as gonorrhea and syphilis rates have fallen off dramatically over the same period.
Despite the fall off, the study suggests that you're still less likely to contract an STD in Europe than in the States. Well, unless you plan on having unprotected sex in Iceland sometime in the near future, as the island country is the overwhelming leader among European countries in chlamydia and both hepatitis B and C.
Sounds to us like another good reason to keep your clothes on in Iceland.
To be safe, it looks like you should probably just stick to girls in New Hampshire: A Map of the Sluttiest States in America
According to the Daily Mail, a recent study conducted by researchers at Superdrug revealed a shockingly high rate of chlamydia among Americans, especially when compared to their European counterparts.
Even more alarming is the fact that Washington, D.C. required its own scale "due to its very high rate of STDs."
While the rate of chlamydia per 100,000 people was comparable in the early '80s, the rate among Americans skyrocketed in 1985 while remaining somewhat stagnant in Europe. There is good news for Americans, however, as gonorrhea and syphilis rates have fallen off dramatically over the same period.
Despite the fall off, the study suggests that you're still less likely to contract an STD in Europe than in the States. Well, unless you plan on having unprotected sex in Iceland sometime in the near future, as the island country is the overwhelming leader among European countries in chlamydia and both hepatitis B and C.
Sounds to us like another good reason to keep your clothes on in Iceland.
To be safe, it looks like you should probably just stick to girls in New Hampshire: A Map of the Sluttiest States in America
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