It's almost impossible to watch a YouTube video these days without seeing an ad from some ultra-buff muscle person promising to revitalize your body, melt away your fat and get you ripped in no time flat. While some of these fitness gurus are legit, others are peddling some serious snake oil. Here are our top picks for the ones working way outside the box.
Freelee the Banana Girl
This Australian vegan looks pretty good, but when she opens her mouth the concentrated crazy pours out like a faucet.
Freelee practices something she calls "High Carb Veganism," which involves choking down massive amounts of raw fruits. She eats 15 bananas for breakfast, 20 mangoes for lunch and then caps it all off with over four pounds of cooked potatoes for dinner. The theory behind these "mono-meals" is that the stomach digests better when it has just one ingredient to work on. Critics point out that Freelee takes vitamin B12 injections to make up for missing nutrients and also got some very noticeable breast implants.
Frank Yang
One thing to note about many of the fitness gurus on this list is that being crazy doesn't stop them from also being in amazing shape. Take
Frank Yang, a Chinese YouTube phenomenon who spends his time making deeply insane videos where he deadlifts naked, drinks Johnnie Walker instead of water at the gym, draws on his pupils with markers and snorts creatine through high-denomination bills like it was Bolivian marching powder. Yang is a child of extremely wealthy parents, allowing him the leeway to live his life in such a manner. In no way, shape or form should this guy be your fitness icon, yet some people are trying to follow in his footsteps.
Dr. Jack Kruse
The Paleo Diet is one of the 21st century's more enduring eating fads, proposing that we go back to allegedly eating like our caveman ancestors did in order to pursue better health. Many different people have put their own spin on the plan, but one of the most bizarre is
Jack Kruse. The licensed neurosurgeon is a proponent of the "Epi-Paleo diet," which sounds OK until you try to figure out what he's actually talking about. Kruse's blog, where he posts most of his advice, is completely incomprehensible by the human mind. Once you've attuned to his wavelength, get ready to be shocked by claims that nipple massages reduce the risk of breast cancer by 50 percent and Kruse posting stock photos of bodybuilders on Facebook and claiming that they're him.
Joanna Rohrback
One would think that just about every exercise has already been invented; there are only so many motions a human body can do, after all. But there are still people coming up with new ways to work out, and
Joanna Rohrback is a great example. Her brainstorm is "Prancersise," a bizarre form of movement inspired by the natural canter of a horse. Rohrback's promotional video for the exercise became an unintentional viral hit in December 2012, but that hasn't stopped her from believing in its benefits, and she's since made appearances on dozens of TV shows promoting it.
Bobby Vigeant
Former criminal turned aspiring actor
Bobby Vigeant is just an Italian guy from the streets of Providence trying to make good, but his "VIG Lifestyle" training program ventures beyond pumping iron into some pretty hilarious areas. For a man of his age, Bobby is in pretty exceptional shape, but once he starts talking about using the power of chi to unlock the 80 percent of your brain that goes unused, then swings some nunchuks around, we can't take him all that seriously. Oh, and then he attacks some watermelon with a samurai sword just to top things off. His primary product seems to be "Text Trainer," where he sends text messages to your phone reminding you to work out.
Timothy Williams
Going by the name "Urban Primalist,"
Timothy Williams is an amazing illustration of how much form matters. Multiple bodybuilding forums have threads on exactly how dangerous this dude's lifts are, and watching just one of his videos will give you a clue as to how intensely unhinged he is. Whether it's demanding you "obliterate your ego" before you start pumping iron or letting out some of the most ridiculous noises ever heard after his lifts, Williams' videos are chock-full of ridiculousness. Sure, the dude is cut, but definition isn't everything.
Dan Quinn
Using the phrase "fitness guru" to describe the madness and genius of
Dan Quinn is a shameful misuse of the English language, but here we go. Quinn, a former Notre Dame football player and
MMA fighter with a 5-1-6 record, took to YouTube in the early 2000s to change lives. His fitness secret? Stevia. The natural sweetener extracted from a South American plant is popular among diabetics, but Quinn believes that it has the power to cure cancer and even solve the energy crisis through cold fission in his blender. Oh, and he also smokes a lot of weed, which answers some questions you may have.
Vani Hari
One of the most contentious nutrition "experts" in the world right now is
Vani Hari, the self-proclaimed "Food Babe." Her one-woman crusade against chemicals in food sounds good on the surface until you realize that literally all matter on Earth is made of chemicals and there's no actual science behind her crusade. Some of her most absurd claims include saying that microwaving water causes it to form crystal structures similar to if you yelled the word "Hitler" at it and that pilots control the amount of nitrogen in plane cabin air. Of course she makes stacks of cash selling juice cleanses on her site, because why not?
Jimmy Moore
One of the tenets of the Paleo Diet is that fats are better for your body than carbs. While most practitioners use this advice to recommend you eat lots of meat and nuts, some Paleo masterminds go a step farther.
Jimmy Moore is the guy behind the Livin' La Vida Low Carb blog, which pushes the elevation of blood ketone levels as the key to burning fat. How does Moore get his levels up? By eating a whole stick of Kerrygold butter with breakfast, among other dubious methods.
Jasmuheen
With all of these chemicals and toxins in food, is there any way to not expose yourself? Well, if you listen to
Jasmuheen (born Ellen Greve), all you have to do is breathe. The Australian woman is the world's leading proponent of "pranic nourishment," known to wags as "breatharianism." What that means, in short, is giving up on all food whatsoever and surviving solely on the oxygen in the atmosphere. Most of the time, she claims to take in just 300 calories a day, with the rest of her energy coming from "cosmic particles." At least four people have died from following Jasmuheen's teachings, giving her the record for confirmed fatalities in the fitness world.