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Here Are Some Of The Greatest Comebacks Tinder Has Ever Seen

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In the world of Tinder, one-liners and horrible pickup lines are plentiful. However, most people tend to simply shrug them off. But others chose to play along and give us Internet gems like the ones you'll see below.














(h/t Happy Place)

 

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Japanese Woman Stabbed Husband Because His Poop Stunk So Badly

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Well, then I'd hate to see what she would have done to me this morning.

According to Metro, a 29-year-old Japanese woman was recently arrested after she slashed her husband in the face with a knife because of the "stink" he left behind in the family's toilet.

man stabbed by wife over smelly poo
Police said Emi Mamiya became enraged after her husband emerged from the bathroom and left a nasty stank behind. He then tried to help the couple's three-year-old son use the crapper without washing his hands first, and that was what pushed Mamiya over the edge.

Mamiya grabbed a knife and stabbed her husband in the face, and now she faces attempted murder charges. When asked why she stabbed her husband, Mamiya said the toilet stunk so bad that it wasn't fit for her child.

No word on how she gets her bowel movements to smell like strawberries.

​Maybe it wouldn't have been so bad if they would have eaten something other than broccoli every night: Foods That Make You Poop

 

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Man on 'Divorce Court' Says His Girlfriend Had Sex With Entire Wu Tang Clan

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Lia Palmquist says her boyfriend Nathan Sellers does not want to give her the traditional family she desires. Mr. Sellers says Palmquist once gave "Wu some tang," as in she had sex with every single member of the Wu Tang Clan. And naturally, the only way to settle a dispute like that is on "Divorce Court."

Here's how this one played out:


Let's be honest: That might be the first time anybody has ever referred to the Wu Tang Clan as "gentlemen."

Palmquist was seeking $3,500 from Sellers because her house became infested with bed bugs after he moved a bed frame from his storage unit to her joint when he briefly moved to Milwaukee in 2011. But since Palmquist waited more than three years to seek damages and slept with Sellers after her house became infested, Judge Lynn Toler ruled against her.

Plus, there is a slight chance that she got those bed bugs from Method Man instead.

It would have been interesting to see how this defense would have played out: Florida Man Gets Year in Jail After Epic Court Rant

 

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Watch What Happens When Women Try to Draw the Perfect Penis

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It looks like the majority of us are in a lot of trouble, fellas.

The crew at Elite Daily gathered up a few dozen women and asked them to describe and then draw what the perfect penis looks like. And let's just say when a woman begins tracing her forearm, odds are you and your pork sword aren't going to be the ones satisfying her on a regular basis.


"10 inches is the ideal penis size."

Um, what are seven words no man ever wants to hear, Alex?

There are at least a dozen or so lines in the clip above that are both hysterical and disturbing, but these are probably our three favorites:

"We can make it black. Heyyy!"

"I need a bigger piece of paper."

"I do love me some saggy balls."

No word on why the woman who said she thought she was just drawing her boyfriend's penis decided to use the green colored pencil, but we're not here to judge.

And just for good measure, here is the final dick drawing rundown:

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Here's a short but accurate summary of what is going to happen to your penis: The Life of a Man's Penis Has Its Ups and Downs

 

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Today's Funny Photos

The Craziest Online Health and Fitness Gurus

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It's almost impossible to watch a YouTube video these days without seeing an ad from some ultra-buff muscle person promising to revitalize your body, melt away your fat and get you ripped in no time flat. While some of these fitness gurus are legit, others are peddling some serious snake oil. Here are our top picks for the ones working way outside the box.

Freelee the Banana Girl

This Australian vegan looks pretty good, but when she opens her mouth the concentrated crazy pours out like a faucet. Freelee practices something she calls "High Carb Veganism," which involves choking down massive amounts of raw fruits. She eats 15 bananas for breakfast, 20 mangoes for lunch and then caps it all off with over four pounds of cooked potatoes for dinner. The theory behind these "mono-meals" is that the stomach digests better when it has just one ingredient to work on. Critics point out that Freelee takes vitamin B12 injections to make up for missing nutrients and also got some very noticeable breast implants.

Frank Yang

One thing to note about many of the fitness gurus on this list is that being crazy doesn't stop them from also being in amazing shape. Take Frank Yang, a Chinese YouTube phenomenon who spends his time making deeply insane videos where he deadlifts naked, drinks Johnnie Walker instead of water at the gym, draws on his pupils with markers and snorts creatine through high-denomination bills like it was Bolivian marching powder. Yang is a child of extremely wealthy parents, allowing him the leeway to live his life in such a manner. In no way, shape or form should this guy be your fitness icon, yet some people are trying to follow in his footsteps.

Dr. Jack Kruse

The Paleo Diet is one of the 21st century's more enduring eating fads, proposing that we go back to allegedly eating like our caveman ancestors did in order to pursue better health. Many different people have put their own spin on the plan, but one of the most bizarre is Jack Kruse. The licensed neurosurgeon is a proponent of the "Epi-Paleo diet," which sounds OK until you try to figure out what he's actually talking about. Kruse's blog, where he posts most of his advice, is completely incomprehensible by the human mind. Once you've attuned to his wavelength, get ready to be shocked by claims that nipple massages reduce the risk of breast cancer by 50 percent and Kruse posting stock photos of bodybuilders on Facebook and claiming that they're him.

Joanna Rohrback

One would think that just about every exercise has already been invented; there are only so many motions a human body can do, after all. But there are still people coming up with new ways to work out, and Joanna Rohrback is a great example. Her brainstorm is "Prancersise," a bizarre form of movement inspired by the natural canter of a horse. Rohrback's promotional video for the exercise became an unintentional viral hit in December 2012, but that hasn't stopped her from believing in its benefits, and she's since made appearances on dozens of TV shows promoting it.

Bobby Vigeant

Former criminal turned aspiring actor Bobby Vigeant is just an Italian guy from the streets of Providence trying to make good, but his "VIG Lifestyle" training program ventures beyond pumping iron into some pretty hilarious areas. For a man of his age, Bobby is in pretty exceptional shape, but once he starts talking about using the power of chi to unlock the 80 percent of your brain that goes unused, then swings some nunchuks around, we can't take him all that seriously. Oh, and then he attacks some watermelon with a samurai sword just to top things off. His primary product seems to be "Text Trainer," where he sends text messages to your phone reminding you to work out.

Timothy Williams

Going by the name "Urban Primalist," Timothy Williams is an amazing illustration of how much form matters. Multiple bodybuilding forums have threads on exactly how dangerous this dude's lifts are, and watching just one of his videos will give you a clue as to how intensely unhinged he is. Whether it's demanding you "obliterate your ego" before you start pumping iron or letting out some of the most ridiculous noises ever heard after his lifts, Williams' videos are chock-full of ridiculousness. Sure, the dude is cut, but definition isn't everything.

Dan Quinn

Using the phrase "fitness guru" to describe the madness and genius of Dan Quinn is a shameful misuse of the English language, but here we go. Quinn, a former Notre Dame football player and MMA fighter with a 5-1-6 record, took to YouTube in the early 2000s to change lives. His fitness secret? Stevia. The natural sweetener extracted from a South American plant is popular among diabetics, but Quinn believes that it has the power to cure cancer and even solve the energy crisis through cold fission in his blender. Oh, and he also smokes a lot of weed, which answers some questions you may have.

Vani Hari

One of the most contentious nutrition "experts" in the world right now is Vani Hari, the self-proclaimed "Food Babe." Her one-woman crusade against chemicals in food sounds good on the surface until you realize that literally all matter on Earth is made of chemicals and there's no actual science behind her crusade. Some of her most absurd claims include saying that microwaving water causes it to form crystal structures similar to if you yelled the word "Hitler" at it and that pilots control the amount of nitrogen in plane cabin air. Of course she makes stacks of cash selling juice cleanses on her site, because why not?

Jimmy Moore

One of the tenets of the Paleo Diet is that fats are better for your body than carbs. While most practitioners use this advice to recommend you eat lots of meat and nuts, some Paleo masterminds go a step farther. Jimmy Moore is the guy behind the Livin' La Vida Low Carb blog, which pushes the elevation of blood ketone levels as the key to burning fat. How does Moore get his levels up? By eating a whole stick of Kerrygold butter with breakfast, among other dubious methods.

Jasmuheen

With all of these chemicals and toxins in food, is there any way to not expose yourself? Well, if you listen to Jasmuheen (born Ellen Greve), all you have to do is breathe. The Australian woman is the world's leading proponent of "pranic nourishment," known to wags as "breatharianism." What that means, in short, is giving up on all food whatsoever and surviving solely on the oxygen in the atmosphere. Most of the time, she claims to take in just 300 calories a day, with the rest of her energy coming from "cosmic particles." At least four people have died from following Jasmuheen's teachings, giving her the record for confirmed fatalities in the fitness world.

 

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These Lowbrow Photos Put the Ass in Classy

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Here at Mandatory, we typically strive to bring you the very best in men's entertainment, viral content and news you can use. But then sometimes we just want to show you a bunch of funny ass-related photos. We hope you can appreciate that.

funny ass photos, ass signs, ass typos
funny ass photos, ass signs, ass typos
funny ass photos, ass signs, ass typos
funny ass photos, ass signs, ass typos
funny ass photos, ass signs, ass typos
funny ass photos, ass signs, ass typos
funny ass photos, ass signs, ass typos
funny ass photos, ass signs, ass typos
funny ass photos, ass signs, ass typos
funny ass photos, ass signs, ass typos
funny ass photos, ass signs, ass typos
funny ass photos, ass signs, ass typos
funny ass photos, ass signs, ass typos
funny ass photos, ass signs, ass typos
funny ass photos, ass signs, ass typos
funny ass photos, ass signs, ass typos
funny ass photos, ass signs, ass typos
funny ass photos, ass signs, ass typos
via Funny or Die

 

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What Most Americans Are Surprisingly Doing With Their Tax Returns

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tax returns, how people use their tax return

If you're a freelancer or contractor like me and you're getting bent over by some fly-by-night accountant named Bob, you probably owe an oddly high amount of money to the IRS this year. But, if you're one of the lucky 100-plus million Americans getting a tax return, it'll be in your best interest to learn how most people are spending their refunded money. Because if there's one thing we know, it's that doing what everybody else is doing is the coolest thing, especially when it comes to death and taxes.

Folks who are receiving tax returns this year fall roughly into four categories. You will notice that the groups get progressively smaller in size and arguably lower in intelligence as you scroll down. Surprisingly, though, men and women mostly agree on how funds will be used. It's nice to agree on something for once. So, which group do you belong to?

The Savers (45%)
tax returns, how people use their tax return
With each new year, the government tries to add tax breaks to help people out. People leasing new energy efficient cars, receiving education and health care credits and anyone helping to keep the housing market up tends to get a little bonus in their basket. With a higher than average tax return per person compared to the past few years - $3,120 as of March 2015 - more people are making an effort to save with nearly 45 percent claiming they had plans to do so (at least a little), even if they are spilling over into debt payment and overdue vacationing, as well.

This year's Time magazine survey, however, feared that fewer people - as low as 11 percent - would only be padding their savings, a sign that the cost of living is now more of a priority than planning for the future.

The Debt Payers (40%)
tax returns, how people use their tax return
In 2011, roughly 54 percent of Americans got tax returns and nearly 30 percent of those people used theirs to pay off at least some debt. With factors like the cost of owning a new car being higher than ever, people are buckling down on their debts. Time took a poll that had 68 percent of people planning to pay off some sort of debts with their return. That's noble, but there's no sure way to tell if they actually will. The likely statistic is closer to 40 percent, according to several sources.

Most of the expected 66 percent of Americans getting a return will likely come close to saving or paying debts (or both), but there's always the possibility of a last-minute Las Vegas invite to the casinos where they'll not only lose their tax return, but some additional money, just before pawning the wife's car and betting the kids' college funds.

The Practicals (26%)
tax returns, how people use their tax return
The past five years have recorded close to a quarter of Americans using their return as sort of an extra paycheck. Many of this type - making less than $50,000 each year, 84 percent of which get a tax return - prefer not to put any pressure on themselves to use the money for a specific use, but would rather continue on with business as usual. Necessity buying is a common activity for the practical type. Getting things fixed, the car tuned up and buying groceries or other regular everyday purchases falling into the mix. Their biggest splurge is likely to be an unplanned case of beer and an extra pack of Juicy Fruit.

The Delinquents (9%)
tax returns, how people use their tax return
For every few responsible souls, there will always be a delinquent who doesn't know about their tax return or have a clue what the hell is going on with their life. These folks, which usually serve as 7 to 12 percent of the Petri dish, will undoubtedly be wasting all their returned money on vacations, expensive electronics and items of excess. The money, which was originally theirs, will likely be spent as if it was a free gift from above. This kind of behavior is exactly what the government would like to see: stimulation of the economy through unnecessary spending.

And although Time's survey says that only 6 percent may hang in the bounds of uncertainty and reckless spending this year, there's always an itch to spend the money once it's in your hands. Because of the times, the height of the delinquency seems to be less with more people interested in small splurges like nice meals or new cell phones, compared to expensively lavish vacations and heavy spending. Either way, you can count on this category to - more or less - spend their entire tax return and have no clue what the hell is going on with their life.

Sources:
Mint, Time, DriveTime, DebtRoundup, Bankrate

 

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These Are The Worst Parents Ever, Vol. 2

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Our first edition of the worst parents ever may have convinced you that there truly was no way for any other parents to be as horrible as the ones included in that roundup. Well, as you know by the title of this post, you were wrong. There are many, many, many horrible parents walking the earth, so we're here to introduced you to quite a few more of them.

worst parents, horrible parents, funny parents





















(h/t Izismile)

 

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Mom Throws Daughter Naked Twister Sex Party Then Has Sex With Her Boyfriend

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The teens are probably calling it the "Party of the Year," but unfortunately for Rachel Lynn Lenhardt, the Columbia County Sheriff's Office in Georgia is calling it illegal.

According to Gawker, the 35-year-old mother of five is in hot water after she told her Alcoholics Anonymous sponsor that she held a naked Twister sex party for her 16-year-old daughter a few weeks ago that also featured pot and alcohol consumption and sex with her daughter's 16-year-old boyfriend.

mom has sex party with teen daughter and has sex with her boyfriend
Lenhardt's sponsor contacted police after the two met to discuss her "future plans for sobriety," and Lenhardt spilled the beans about also having sex with an 18-year-old male in the bathroom after playing a game of naked Twister with the teens. And since she was still "horny," she decided to follow that up by bringing her sex toys to the living room and using them on herself in front of the partygoers.

The naked bash then moved to the hot tub, but when it was time for bed, Lenhardt said she made it to her bedroom alone.

It didn't stay that way for long.

Lenhardt said she woke up around 3:30 a.m. to someone having sex with her. That someone? You guessed it: Her daughter's boyfriend, who was apparently "10 inches long and huge."

Lenhardt's sponsor said she had also opened up about being a porn addict and sexual deviant, but we had already figured as much.

Speaking of possible sexual deviants:
Bikini-Clad Courtney Stodden Suffers Wardrobe Malfunction

 

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The Internet is Going Nuts Over This Math Problem From Singapore

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Imagine where our country would be if everybody would have cared this much about math when they were in high school.

According to The New York Times, a television host in Singapore posted a math problem to his Facebook account on Friday, and it has been driving people nuts ever since.

The gist of the brain buster is that a girl named Cheryl has just become friends with Albert and Bernard. In what is presumably an icebreaker, they ask when her birthday is, but she surprisingly decides to give them a list of 10 possible dates instead just telling them outright and leaving each of them with a "save the date."

She then proceeds to tell Albert the correct month and Bernard the correct day. The guys use some rather shoddy English in a short dialogue that acts as a clue for the math problem, and we're left to figure out which of the 10 dates is Cheryl's birthday.

Internet is going crazy over Singapore math question

If you're looking for the correct answer, the Times did a beautiful job breaking it down (hint: you can eliminate two months right away). But we're satisfied knowing that this problem would never take place in real life. I mean, if Cheryl is looking to get birthday presents from either of these two guys, she might want to think about being less of a brat and stop answering their questions with other questions.

Here's something else that will make you go cross-eyed: Is This Stupid Dress White and Gold or Blue and Black?

Also check out:
14 Dogs Who Made Poor Life Choices

 

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What Your Karaoke Song Choice Says About You

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You may never have realized this, but everyone in the bar is judges you based solely on the song you choose for your karaoke performance. It may not be fair, but it's the truth, so choose wisely. Before you get up for one more performance, take a look at this handy guide to see what your karaoke song of choice actually says about you.

 

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61-Year-Old Japanese Woman Living Out Her Dream of Becoming a Porn Star

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Some people want to be doctors when they grow up, while others dream of becoming professional musicians. Then there are a select few who dream of getting paid to fornicate on screen.

This is a story about the latter.

According to the Malaysia Chronicle, Yasue Tomita wanted to be a porn star her entire life, and the 61-year-old's dreams are finally coming true.

61-year-old japanese porn star
Tomita is putting aside her life of knitting and crochet for the world of "silver porn," a niche market in Japan that "stretches the limits of eroticism among the elderly."

"I like my handicrafts, but I wanted to try my hand at this, while my body still works," Tomita said. "I do like sex, and this is my last chance before I get too old. I'm very nervous. I wonder if I should really do it, especially in front of so many people, but everyone should follow their dream."

Tomita said that both her and her daughter signed up for the smut biz together on the Internet, but she got the call first.

No word if they offer insurance in the world of Japanese porn, but if they do, one would think Tomita should look into some kind of a broken hip plan.

Maybe she'll hold this honor one day: Mia Khalifa is the New Most Popular Girl on PornHub

 

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Today's Funny Photos

The 12 Most Famous 'Saturday Night Live' One-Season Wonders

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With the big 40th anniversary this year of "Saturday Night Live," we have remembered cast members who died way too young, but there were also some short-lived SNL careers of very famous actors for far less tragic reasons. These are the 12 most famous SNL one-year wonders.

Gilbert Gottfried (1980-81)
SNL one season wonders, snl one season actors, gilbert gottfried
After the exit of Lorne Michaels and much of the staff, an afro-toting, rare commodity named Gilbert Gottfried appeared with his unmistakable voice and small stature, which only awarded him 12 episodes during the show's sixth season. The writers weren't particular fans of Gottfried and basically wrote his funeral scene into the show. After that, he left and ventured more into film, including popular roles in movies like Principal Peabody in "Problem Child" and "Beverly Hills Cop II."

Larry David (1984-85)
SNL one season wonders, snl one season actors, larry david snl
The funniest man alive only lasted one season on SNL some 30 years ago. Larry David rarely appeared in front of the lens (and when he did he was uncredited), but he wrote for half a season with the crew, getting only one sketch picked up for airing. After that, he quit around the middle of the season, then returned back the next week and pretended like it never happened. That true story would later become George Costanza's on "Seinfeld."

Billy Crystal (1984-85)
snl one season wonders, saturday night live one year actors, billy crystal snl
Crystal was a big add for the cast in 1984, the final year of Dick Ebersol's run as an SNL executive, even though he had already hosted before joining the cast. He came up with popular sketches like "Fernando's Hideaway," but his stay was short-lived, despite Ebersol's interest in keeping him as a permanent host. Shortly after his departure, Crystal became Oscar-worthy, starring in hits like "When Harry Met Sally..." and "City Slickers."

Martin Short (1984-85)
snl one season wonders, saturday night live one year actors, martin short snl
Short had come from "SCTV Channel" (Second City TV), but he reportedly joined the SNL cast with a bit of reluctance, having enjoyed his time on his previous show. Short claims he was under too much pressure and couldn't enjoy his SNL gig, leaving after one season. The comedy legend didn't stop there, though. He went on to appear in hit comedies like "¡Three Amigos!" and "Father of the Bride" before hosting "The Martin Short Show" in 1999 and its spin-off "Primetime Glick" two years later.

Damon Wayans (1985-86)
SNL one season wonders, snl one season actors, damon wayans snl
Wayans was one of the briefest actors on SNL, entering the show's 11th season along with the likes of Joan Cusack and Anthony Michael Hall. Early in the season, Wayans improvised a small, one-line role in a police sketch as a very talkative flamboyant version of his scripted character. He was fired immediately after the episode. From there, he moved onto the creation of "In Living Color."

Robert Downey Jr. (1985-86)
SNL one season wonders, snl one season actors, robert downey jr. snl
Downey Jr. joined the cast, along with Wayans, and performed for the full season, but he and his new colleagues were let go after the show's poorest recorded ratings. Between then and his blockbuster breakthrough as Iron Man, Robert was in reputable films like "Natural Born Killers" and "Kiss Kiss Bang Bang," and even earned a leading actor Oscar nom for "Chaplin" in 1993.

Randy Quaid (1985-86)
SNL one season wonders, snl one season actors, randy quaid snl
Quaid joined the cast shortly after his big break as Cousin Eddie in 1983's "National Lampoon's Vacation," but despite his notoriety and his little brother Dennis' concurrent success, Quaid was let go along with the other newbies of the show's catastrophic 11th season.

Anthony Michael Hall (1985-86)
SNL one season wonders, snl one season actors, anthony michael hall
At the time, Hall was cast as the youngest ensemble member, but even with "Sixteen Candles" and "The Breakfast Club" under his belt before walking onto the New York stage, Anthony Michael Hall couldn't sustain his career with SNL in what he considers the show's most forgettable season. He appeared with Joan Cusack and Downey Jr. as new regulars with the return of Lorne Michaels at the helm, but was let go as well when the show plummeted.

Ben Stiller (1988-89)
snl one season wonders, saturday night live one year actors, ben stiller snl
The famous Focker appeared in 1988 for one season as both an actor and writer. His interest in the show lied mostly in its short films, but after enough rejection he left and went on to scrape by as a staple comedy actor, beginning with "The Ben Stiller Show" in 1992, followed by "Heavy Weights" in 1995 and a classic cameo in "Happy Gilmore." Then he made it big after that.

Sarah Silverman (1993-94)
SNL one season wonders, snl one season actors, sarah silverman snl
Silverman appeared as an actor as well as a writer for the 19th season. Unfortunately, none of her writing made it to air, which led to her dismissal at the end of the season. Silverman carried on with TV appearances on "Seinfeld" and "Mr. Show with Bob and David" before she was picked up on "The Larry Sanders Show." She was fired from SNL via fax machine, which was an inspiration for an episode of "The Larry Sanders Show."

Janeane Garofalo (1994-95)
SNL one season wonders, snl one season actors, Janeane Garofalo snl
Unlike many of her peers, Garofalo was already doing well when she arrived on "Saturday Night Live," having been on "Reality Bites" and "The Ben Stiller Show," but her lack of spotlight with small roles and distaste for the show's "sexist atmosphere" and "homophobic sketches" led to her mid-season walk.

David Koechner (1995-96)
snl one season wonders, saturday night live one year actors, david koechner snl
Even during a highly competitive stretch for SNL, the man you may best know as Champ Kind took no hesitation to refuse roles on such an intense season of the show. Lorne Michaels was said to be reluctant to let him go, but others agreed it needed to happen. Koechner went on to bigger and better things with his former castmate, Will Ferrell, in "Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy" and its highly anticipated sequel.

 

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The 10 Most Cliché Comic Book Covers

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Much like movie posters, comic books have a tendency to overuse certain layouts when it comes to their covers. Don't get us wrong, a well-crafted image will look amazing no matter how tired the concept, but that still doesn't mean the artists can't get a little more creative with their work. The following list of hackneyed comic book covers are well past the point of cliché, and we think it's time they were slowly phased out.

Arbitrarily Headed Into Action
cliche comic book covers, arbitrarily headed into actionOne particularly trite cover that irritates us to no end is the randomly charging forward shot. We understand the need to show off the main characters in action, but can't that be done in a way that's a little more involved than rushing towards what we can only assume is something much more interesting than what we are looking at? Most of the time, even the backgrounds of these covers are just a plain color or at most a very basic landscape. As we said, all an artist has to do is get a little more creative, and covers like this will still pop.

Break on Through to the Other Side
cliche comic book covers, break on through to the other sideOtherwise known as the Kool-Aid Man cover, the only difference between these tired set-ups and our first entry is that we are getting to see the entry point: a wall. Sometimes this wall is actually the cover itself, with the heroes breaking through it, but the effect is still the same. It's pretty boring, and tells us virtually nothing. At least The Tick cover calls itself out on it.

Side note: To their credit, many artists will use this worn out cover concept to their advantage by making the wall glass instead and using its reflective nature to convey previous plot points or other characters in the story. Still, even this has started to become an overused idea.

Reflecting on the Situation
cliche comic book covers, reflection comic book coverHey, we said we wanted to see who are heroes are fighting, and now we can--albeit in the minimum way. Basically, all we get from covers like this one are two shots of characters charging forward (or running away in some cases), but one is being reflected off the other. We're not sure if that's exactly progress, but it would still be slightly more interesting if it wasn't done to death.

Head-to-Head (Literally)
cliche comic book covers, head to head comic book cover
A fight between a hero and a villain, two heroes, or especially two teams of heroes should be epic. So when we see that the artist has decided to forgo said epic-ness in favor of two heads angrily gritting their teeth at each other, it's obviously very disappointing. Unfortunately, this happens more than it should. There is a right way to draw "versus" covers depicting some form of actual action and then there is this total cop-out method. For crying out loud, just turn the picture on its side and you've given it loads more tension already.

A Hero Falls
cliche comic book covers, death of a hero comic coverKilling off popular superheroes is nothing new to the comic book industry, especially as of late. That's why covers depicting a dead hero in the arms of another has gotten played out. We say cut out the middleman and just stop doing storylines where the hero dies at all. You know they'll just end up coming back anyways. Or hey, just give it that little something extra we talked about. You'd be surprised what even some added legs in the sky will do to spice things up.

Pile of Bodies in Their Wake
cliche comic book covers, pile of bodies comic book cover
The hero or villain standing on a mound of defeated enemies cover may be a cool visual, but it loses its impact when it is beaten over the head by just about every comic that ever existed. Yes, it shows what a force the person is to be reckoned with, but so would showing them in the process of kicking all that ass. That's what we really want to see.

We've Got You Surrounded
cliche comic book covers, hero surrounded comic book cover
You can't overwhelm a superhero. They are always going to come out on top. That's kind of the point. What we are trying to say here is that unless the hero ends up getting torn apart by a huge group of bad guys in the issue, you can spare us the uninspired "getting swarmed" cover. A) We've seen it a hundred times, and B) we know that comic book covers tend to lie. The likelihood of the title hero fighting his entire rogues gallery on the inside is pretty slim. Do us all a favor and just pick another cover idea entirely (that isn't on this list, of course).

Caught in the Crosshairs
cliche comic book covers, crosshairs comic book coverWe feel like we are starting to sound too harsh on comic covers. We don't mean to be. There are just so many that are done over and over again. All that needs to happen to keep them from becoming stale are the slightest tweaks. For instance, here is a Dexter cover depicting a similar situation. It's not exactly the coolest we've ever seen, but at least it's not the same photo sans lasers and through a scope. Subtle change-ups can go a long way towards communicating the same situation in a fresh manner.

Rooftop Stalking
cliche comic book covers, rooftop stalkingDoes it get any more dull than this? Not only are these covers doing little more than showing us the characters, but they are probably one of the most overused of all. Most superheroes are either swinging or flying through the city, so we know they spend a lot of time on top of buildings. It may be a stretch, but could literally anything be happening while they are up there? As uncreative as these covers may be, there is still one more that has it beat in the lame department.

"Homage" to a Classic
cliche comic book covers, homage to a classic
If we catch flack for this, we really don't care because it is one of the most tired gimmicks in comic books. Whenever a cover rises to the ranks of iconic, it is exploited by numerous other books. We use that term because we feel that simply replicating a famous cover and replacing the hero is little more than a ploy to get people to buy your comic. Parody has its place, but this joke lost its effect long ago.

There are still plenty more comic covers out there that could be deemed cliché, so let us know which ones you think should make the next list.

 

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Just When You Thought Your Day Couldn't Get Any Worse

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The only thing that really makes the horrible day you're having any better is knowing that other people are having an even worse day. So, get ready to turn that frown upside down. We can guarantee that every single one of these people is currently more miserable than you are.

bad day, funny bad day














(h/t Izismile)

 

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The Funniest GIFs of The Week

Sex Move Name Generator

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The Internet is full of hilarious sex moves that sound impossible to pull off. Now you can get your very own personalized disgusting sex move all to yourself. Using the chart below, just combine the words that match your first and last initial and you've got your new favorite sex move. For example, Jeb Bush's new favorite sex move is The Horizontal Crab Cake, while Hilary Clinton's new favorite sex move is The Upside Down Dustbuster. Look, we don't claim to know what any of these positions would actually involve. We just know that every one of them could potentially send you to the hospital.

sex move name generator

 

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Courtney Stodden's Boobs Pop Out in Major Bikini Malfunction

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Bikini-Clad Courtney Stodden Suffers Wardrobe Malfunction

When you're playing catch with a football at the beach and also have the equivalent of two footballs under your tiny bikini, a wardrobe malfunction is inevitable. This is exactly what happened to reality star Courtney Stodden recently, and TMZ was there (of course) to catch the double nip slip. Many folks are speculating that this was all just a publicity stunt to garner some attention, but we're going to give Stodden the benefit of the doubt and say she only meant for one of her breasts to pop out.

 

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