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21 Clever New Words That Should Be Added to the Dictionary Immediately

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Every year, new words are added to the Merriam-Webster Collegiate Dictionary. Last year it was words like selfie and hashtag along with about 150 others. Well, if the Merriam-Webster folks are looking for a little help with their additions in 2015, they should start here. The following 21 words include clever mashups, brilliant puns and other fun combinations that are reflective of our times. Add them to your vocab now and be ahead of the curve.

brilliant new words, words that should be added to dictionary
brilliant new words, words that should be added to dictionary
brilliant new words, words that should be added to dictionary
brilliant new words, words that should be added to dictionary
brilliant new words, words that should be added to dictionary
brilliant new words, words that should be added to dictionary
brilliant new words, words that should be added to dictionary
brilliant new words, words that should be added to dictionary
brilliant new words, words that should be added to dictionary
brilliant new words, words that should be added to dictionary
brilliant new words, words that should be added to dictionary
brilliant new words, words that should be added to dictionary
brilliant new words, words that should be added to dictionary
brilliant new words, words that should be added to dictionary
brilliant new words, words that should be added to dictionary
brilliant new words, words that should be added to dictionary
brilliant new words, words that should be added to dictionary
brilliant new words, words that should be added to dictionary
brilliant new words, words that should be added to dictionary
brilliant new words, words that should be added to dictionary
brilliant new words, words that should be added to dictionary
via Imgur

 

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Miley Cyrus and Scout Willis Keep Showing Off Their Boobs

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Now if we can just get Charlotte McKinney and Kate Upton to follow suit, we'll really have something.

According to Uproxx, pop sensation Miley Cyrus and the daughter of Bruce Willis are having a hell of a time showing off their breasts lately, and a photographer has posted them to his Instagram page for all to see.

A photo posted by mertalas (@mertalas) on



A photo posted by mertalas (@mertalas) on



A photo posted by mertalas (@mertalas) on


We're not sure why Cyrus and Scout Willis are letting their exposed boobs be photographed and posted for the masses, but hey, we're not complaining. #FreeTheNipple is definitely a campaign we could get behind.

Here's Miley baring even more: Miley Cyrus Took a Bubble Bath and We Can All See How It Went

 

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Florida Man High on Flakka Has Sex With Tree Then Proclaims He is God

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You have to think he would have a much easier time convincing people that he is God if he would refrain from humping trees.

According to the New York Daily News, a 41-year-old Melbourne man was arrested Friday after he ran through the streets naked, had sex with a tree, proclaimed he was God and assaulted an officer.

Florida man on flakka humps tree, says he's God
Police said Kenneth Crowder was high on a drug known as flakka, a dangerous synthetic drug that is "sweeping the state."

When a Melbourne police officer arrived on the scene, Crowder allegedly charged after him in an "aggressive manner and identified himself as God." The officer used his Taser gun on him multiple times, but Crowder was so doped up that he was able to pull the probes out of his body each time.

Crowder then punched the officer in the face, said he was Thor and tried to stab him with his police badge. Luckily, other members of the police force arrived and were able to subdue Crowder before he inflicted any serious injury upon the cop.

Crowder was charged with assault with a deadly weapon on a law enforcement officer, resisting arrest with violence and battery of a law enforcement officer, but it looks like they're going to let the plow sesh with the tree slide.

This guy has some bad facial hair. So do these guys:
11 Of The Most Painfully Awkward Facial Hair Photos

 

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Snotty ESPN Reporter Busted Berating Tow Lot Attendant On Video

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Britt McHenry, a reporter from ESPN, seems to have a bit of a temper on her. Apparently after her car was towed in Arlington, Virgina, she went off on the parking lot attendant who was working at the time. The verbal attacks get pretty personal and it's hard not to feel bad for the employee receiving them. However, before you rush to judgement, there's no way to tell if something the company or employee did warranted this type of response from McHenry.

Quite a few terrible things were said. The video is edited, so it's possible that even more went down between the two, but Deadspin did a good job of rounding up some of the worst:
  • "I'm in the news sweetheart, I will f**king sue this place."
  • "So I could be a college dropout and do the same thing?"
  • "I'm on television and you're in a f**king trailer, honey."
  • "Lose some weight, baby girl."
Look, we've all been in similar situations and we've all lost our cool. Lucky for us, there usually isn't a camera around to capture us doing so. Also in her defense, people seem to have nothing but terrible things to say about the company that did the towing:


(screenshot via The Big Lead)

 

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21 of the Greatest Riddles of All Time

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the riddler, riddles, funny riddles, best riddles
And you thought you were going to be able to give your brain a rest while browsing the internet all day, didn't you? To give you the daily mental workout we all certainly could use, here are 25 fantastic riddles with various degrees of difficulty that'll have those brain cells flexing and strutting around in no time.

*Scroll down for the answers*

1. You're running a race and pass the person in 2nd place. What place are you in now?

2. Imagine you are in a dark room. How do you get out?

3. Who makes it, but has no need of it.
Who buys it, but has no use for it.
Who uses it but can neither see nor feel it.
What is it?


4. You answer me, but I never ask you a question. What am I?

5. What can travel around the world while staying in a corner?

6. Johnny's mother had three children. The first was named April and the second was named May. What was the name of the third child?

7. Some months have 30 days, and some months have 31 days. How many have 28?

8. What occurs once in every minute, twice in every moment, but never in a thousand years?

9. If there are three apples and you take two away, how many apples do you have?

10. What has no beginning, end, or middle?

11. There is a word and six letters it contains. Take one away and twelve is what remains. What word is it?

12. If you have me, you want to share me. But if you share me, you no longer have me. What am I?

13. How much dirt is there in a hole that's four feet by five feet by six feet?

14. Two girls were born to the same mother, on the same day, at the same time, in the same month and year and yet they're not twins. How can this be?

15. At night they come without being fetched. By day they are lost without being stolen. What are they?

16. What is so delicate that even saying its name will break it?

17. You throw away the outside and cook the inside. Then you eat the outside and throw away the inside. What did you eat?

18. What word in the English Language is always spelled incorrectly?

19. What goes up a chimney down but can't come down a chimney up?

20. What grows when it eats, but dies when it drinks?

21. The more it dries, the wetter it gets. What is it?


Answer Key:
  1. You're in second place. You didn't pass the person in first.
  2. Stop imagining.
  3. A coffin
  4. A telephone
  5. A stamp
  6. Johnny
  7. All of them
  8. The letter M
  9. You took two apples, so you now have two of them.
  10. A doughnut
  11. Dozens
  12. A secret
  13. There is no dirt in a hole or it wouldn't be a hole.
  14. They're in a set of triplets
  15. The stars
  16. Silence (And probably Derrick Rose's knee)
  17. An ear of corn
  18. Incorrectly
  19. An umbrella
  20. Fire
  21. A towel

 

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Today's Funny Photos

9 Astounding Facts About Butts That You Absolutely Need to Know

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If you're sick and tired of lacking knowledge about butts, therefore becoming the butt of various butt connoisseurs' jokes, then you've come to the right place. You will no longer look like an ass once you've learned these nine amazing ass-related facts.

1. People have been mooning each other since the 1st century CE.
butt facts, mooning a train
It is believed that presenting your naked buttocks to someone as an insult originated with the Romans. So, you know, when it Rome.

2. Your butt is the largest muscle in your body.
butt facts, butt largest muschel, kim kardashian ass
Gluteus maximus is not just a clever name, and it does a lot of work every day keeping your torso erect.

3. If you are callipygian, that means you have a well-shaped hiney.
butt facts, callipygian
It's a very difficult word to say, but if you can pull it off, you can probably get away with commenting on people's fine asses all the time, as they will have no idea what you're talking about.

4. If you are dasypygal, that means you have a hairy ass.
butt facts, borat ass
But that's not to say you can't be callipygian, as well.

5. The scientific name for sexual arousal caused by the buttocks is called pygophilia.
butt facts, obama looking at butt
It is derived from "pygo," the ancient Greek word for rump, bottom, or the posterior of a body, and "philia," one of several ancient Greek words for love.

6. When it comes to spankings, women prefer to get spanked as opposed to doing the spanking.
butt facts, butt spankings
And vice versa for men. This fact comes to us from the very official British Sexual Fantasy Research Project.

7. Men like the curve of the butt more than its size.
butt facts
It's science. (Seriously, it was backed by a study from the University of Texas.)

8. Roughly one-third of all people engage in anal sex.
butt facts
It may still be illegal in 12 states, but that can't stop 34 percent of men and 30 percent of women from having a little backdoor fun.

9. Surprisingly, women prefer to be complimented on their butts more than any other body part.
butt facts, butt compliments, nice ass gif
That's right, gents. The way to a girl's heart is by saying something nice about her ass. According to a survey conducted by both Men's Health and Women's Health magazines, one-third of respondents chose butts as their favorite body part to be complimented on, narrowly edging out eyes and breasts.

h/t Distractify

 

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10 Cool Instances of Foreshadowing in Movies That You Probably Didn't Notice

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One of the keys to making a movie enjoyable after multiple viewings is the use of foreshadowing. Even if you know the big twist at the end, suddenly you can admire it on a whole new level because of some small detail you missed initially. The following list of films contain such unassuming nods to future events that you may not have caught the first time around. **WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD**

"The Cabin in the Woods" - The Wacky Whiteboard of Death
movie foreshadowing, cabin in the woods
For a movie currently in the news for possibly (but most likely not) being stolen, we figured "The Cabin in the Woods" could use some support in terms of praising its originality. Prior to its release in 2012, you'd likely never seen a movie that literally gives away its big ending by the conclusion of the first act. Thankfully, even if you paused to check out the list of monsters awaiting our heroes in the film's epic conclusion, the actual payoff still exceeds your wildest imagination.

"The Avengers" - "That man is playing Galaga!"
movie foreshadowing, the avengers
Who would have thought writer/director Joss Whedon would pull the same trick he helped co-write in "The Cabin in the Woods" less than a month after its release? Lo and behold, we were again treated to the foreshadowing of a major showdown with monsters when Tony Stark utters a seemingly throwaway line near the beginning of the "The Avengers" accusing a S.H.I.E.L.D agent of playing the video game Galaga instead doing their job. Sure enough, similar to the game, the film concludes with a giant battle between the good guys and an endless swarm of flying alien spacecrafts. A well-crafted joke indeed. If it in any way helped make the upcoming Adam Sandler movie "Pixels" a reality, though, we aren't laughing anymore.

"X-Men: First Class" - Money on My Mind
movie foreshadowing, x-men first class
Jumping superhero ships, The Avengers aren't the only team using subtle hints to drive their endings home. The use of an enemy's photo as a dart board device is nothing particularly fresh, but it finds new meaning when it actually applies to how said enemy is vanquished later on. When we are first introduced to Erik Lensherr (aka Magneto) at the beginning of "X-Men: First Class," he is using an artist rendering of his adversary Sebastian Shaw as a coin pincushion. When the two finally confront each other at the conclusion of the movie, Shaw's actual cranium suffers the same fate as the sketch. Perhaps Magneto should switch to shuffleboard.

"Ace Ventura: Pet Detective" - Apples and Bananas
movie foreshadowing, ace ventura pet detective
Sometimes the clues to a major plot twist aren't talked about, but hidden in plain sight. One classic example involves three carefully placed pieces of fruit and a former Dolphin's kicker named Ray Finkle in the 1994 comedy "Ace Ventura: Pet Detective." Anyone familiar with the film's ending will instantly see the writing on the wall now, but unless you are one to carefully analyze every detail of Jim Carrey movies, this one probably slipped past you time and time again.

"This is the End" - The "Pineapple Express 2" Ending
movie foreshadowing, this is the end
If you do happen to need a comedy you can pick apart for clues involving future plot developments, you'll have much more fun with the 2013 apocalypse bromance "This Is the End." The crafty nods in the first half of this movie concerning major events at the end are almost too many to count, but one that stands out as the film's best is a conversation between James Franco and Seth Rogen about a possible "Pineapple Express" sequel. We are not simply referring to the fact that they eventually shoot the movie later on, but Franco's proposed ending which sees Danny McBride's character killing and eating Franco's. In a strange turn of events that can only be seen to be believed, this is the exact fate the real Franco suffers in the closing minutes.

"Back to the Future" - Back in Pines
movie foreshadowing, back to the future
The "Back to the Future" franchise is also littered with constant bits of foreshadowing. However, it's the subtle but incredibly significant sign change during the original film's mall parking lot scene that takes the cake when it comes to flying under the radar. Only a truly eagle-eyed viewer would catch something so small even after multiple viewings, but during Marty's trip to 1955, he runs over one of two pine trees that serve as the namesake for the future Twin Pines Mall. During the films conclusion, although you aren't aware whether Marty was able to change the future and warn Doc Brown of his impending death, you should already know something worked since the sign now reads Lone Pine Mall.

"Reservoir Dogs" - Orange You Glad I'm Not a Rat?
movie foreshadowing, reservoir dogs
Whenever secret traitors are involved, any good film will always have minor hints peppered throughout as to their identity. Quentin Tarantino's "Reservoir Dogs" is no exception, as there are numerous winks to the color orange. With Mr. Orange being the code name of the man who winds up being a cop, this is pretty par for the course as far as foreshadowing goes. Regardless, you probably never noticed that during the diner tipping scene, Orange is the one who immediately blurts out Mr. Pink's name when Joe asks who didn't throw in. Once a rat, always a rat.

"Jurassic Park" - "Life Finds a Way"
movie foreshadowing, jurassic park
Many of us saw "Jurassic Park" for the first time as children, so sly hat tips to concepts that were already over our heads were lost on us anyways. Hence, you may have never realized the true significance behind the seemingly natural response Dr. Grant has when faced with the challenge of two female ends of a seat belt buckle during turbulence. It is later revealed that in order to stop the dinosaurs from reproducing on their own, they are engineered to be all female. And yet, in the end, they end up mating with each other still, proving the foreboding words of Jeff Goldblum's Ian Malcolm should have been taken more seriously. Maybe if he'd scatted them instead, he would have gotten some respect.

"Skyfall" - A Walk Among the Tombstones
movie foreshadowing, skyfall
Considering she'd played the character of M since the "GoldenEye" era of the James Bond franchise, no one could have suspected the unfortunate demise of Judi Dench's character in 2012's "Skyfall." Or could they? The opening credits may have been the most captivating to date, and likely the reason you didn't catch onto the chilling placement of her name in the sequence.

"Final Destination" - Everybody Dies
movie foreshadowing, final destination
Speaking of giving it all away in the credits, the entirety of the first "Final Destination" is essentially spelled out in the intro. From glimpses of a toy hanging by its neck to a historical guillotine photo, many of the deaths which wind up taking place later in the movie are laid out from the jump. In fact, this entire first movie could even be considered a massive foreshadowing of just how trite and formulaic the series would become by the end of its four-sequel run.

 

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This Week's 20 Funniest Tweets

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Another week, another batch of the most hilarious tweets compiled just for you. Be sure to follow these guys and gals, and check back here every week for more jokes you can tell your friends and pretend you came up with them yourself. They'll think you're hilarious, but inside you'll be cold and dead.


Follow @robfee on Twitter.


More very funny tweets can be found right here.

 

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Person Farts in Courtroom, Clears Courtroom

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It sounds like somebody was more nervous about the man's sentencing than the man himself.

According to Metro, the trial for a 41-year-old UK man came to an abrupt halt Wednesday afternoon when a person in the gallery ripped a fart that was so atrocious the courtroom had to be cleared.

man's fart clears courtroom
David John Dennett was sentenced by the Mansfield Magistrates' Court to 14 weeks in prison for carrying an ax into a pub, as well as being found guilty for an assault charge for which he was out on bail. And that was apparently too much to handle for one of the ten people who made up the public gallery.

"The judge handed down the sentence and then paused to let it sink in," said reporter Nick Frame. "And in that silence, someone farted. We tried to stay composed, but eventually everyone started laughing."

The gallery was seated in some kind of glass enclosure, and they were all asked to exit the courtroom so the judge could finish the trial.

There was no video of the incident, but here's what might have happened if the courtroom wouldn't have been cleared:



If it came from a woman, odds are it smelled even worse: 12 Very Interesting Facts About Farts

 

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The 10 Most Insane Weapons You Can Legally Own

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The second amendment gives us lucky American citizens the right to bear arms, and we've managed to stretch that definition into encompassing a whole ton of heavy artillery. In this feature, we'll spotlight ten weapons that are still street legal in most of the United States (New York and California have slightly more stringent rules) so you can start building your personal armory.


M134 General Electric Minigun

Automatic weapons aren't legal anymore, right? Well, sort of. Laws prohibit ordinary citizens from owning any fully automatic rifle made after 1986. This puppy sneaks in just under the wire, and if you're looking for a device that spits hot death at an insane rate, here it is. The M134 has a capacity of 166 shots per second, and packs so much recoil that you'd rip your arms off if you tried to hold it and shoot. Mount it on a vehicle (say a Toyota Yaris, which you can get for less than the $40,000 cost of the gun) and you're all set for Mad Max time. (Photo courtesy of: World Guns)

Crossbows

If you're a big fan of Daryl Dixon on "The Walking Dead," here's some good news: you can walk around with a crossbow just about anywhere you like - at least during archery season. The only state in which they're an absolute no-go is Oregon. First developed in China during the Warring States period, crossbows combined the lethality of a traditional bow and arrow with portability and ease of aim. They were a popular weapon for assassinations in the middle ages, and some contemporary armies have used them for urban warfare. (Photo courtesy of: Dwight Stone via Flickr CC)

XM42 Flamethrower

In general, it's hard to pass laws regulating flamethrowers. If you make them too broad, you accidentally end up outlawing Zippo lighters and then barbecue season is ruined. If you make them too narrow, stuff like the XM42 ends up slipping through the cracks. This personal flamethrower is currently raising funds on Indiegogo for a full production run, but at a base price of $699 it's not an impulse buy. The interesting thing about flamethrowers is that their use in warfare is banned by the Geneva Convention, so civilians can have them but soldiers can't. Checkmate, Obama. (Photo courtesy of: Popsci)

Blowguns

It seems pretty difficult to outlaw a blowgun, as they're basically just tubes, but unlucky residents of California and Massachusetts aren't allowed to own these iconic weapons of jungle warfare. Everybody else, have fun. Blowguns were originally used by indigenous tribes in South and Central America as well as South East Asia. Hollowed-out sticks or reeds are puffed into to expel seeds and darts. Modern Western blowguns are much more high-tech, and used by scientists to stun and capture rare lizards in the wild. If you're thinking about using one for self-defense, keep in mind that darts don't have a lot of stopping power and producing the kind of poison you'd need to bring a man down is definitely against the law. (Photo courtesy of: Ryan via Flickr CC)

LED Incapacitator

Non-lethal weaponry is a major growth industry, with the United States government spending millions on new ways to shut people down without ending their lives permanently. One recent invention, the "Dazzler," is a flashlight-sized device that emits a strobing visual signal that can make people nauseous and even fall unconscious. You can't have the military version, but a group of inspired hardware hackers reverse-engineered the technology and released instructions on how to make your own. There aren't any laws on the books in regards to light-powered combat devices, so go nuts with this puppy. (Photo courtesy of: ar15)

Chain Whips

Sometimes the traditional ways of ruining someone's day are the best. Chain whips have been used in martial arts since the Jin Dynasty, and surprisingly these weapons are legal in most states. You can't brandish them in New York, California or Maryland, but that leaves 47 other places to have fun. Made of sections of metal threaded together and attached to a handle, chain whips take a lot of training to be able to use without seriously injuring yourself. The multiple videos of people on YouTube slicing through watermelons make it look like a lot of fun. (Photo courtesy of: Aliexpress)

Cannons

If things really go ass up and you need to defend your property Civil War style, you'll be happy to know that it's completely legal for a private citizen to own an old-school black powder cannon. Any artillery device where the propellant is separate from the shell is allowed by law. For these relics, a charge of black powder is required to launch an iron ball into the air and through whatever target you deem most appropriate. One caveat: owning more than 50 pounds of black powder is against the law, so hopefully you don't need to get off that many shots. (Photo courtesy of: Chris Devers via Flickr CC)

Grenade Launchers

This one is going to come as a surprise, but it is in fact completely legal for a private citizen to own a fully functioning grenade launcher. Gun laws regarding these weapons are pretty quirky - a 37mm launcher, which is often used for flares, is regulated differently than a 40mm launcher like the big boys use. To get one of the latter, you need a permit from the ATF, which requires a ton of background checking. Owning grenades to shoot from it is a little trickier - because they're classified as destructive devices, you need to find a chief law enforcement officer in your area who is willing to sign off on you owning one, then pay a $200 tax per grenade, which is a little steep for just one boom. The 37mm isn't classified as a weapon, but there isn't explosive ordinance that works with it. (Photo courtesy of: Program Executive Office via Flickr CC)

Spearguns

If the most outrageous climate change predictions come true, the rising oceans could swamp a good deal of our great country within a few generations. It might be time to learn how to use a speargun while you can. Typically used for fishing, spearguns are either powered by rubber tension bands or pressurized air. Some states have regulations on when you can use them, but ownership is not regulated and sales are at the discretion of whatever sporting goods store you can get one from. People in real life have tried to use spearguns to commit crimes, most notably the hijacking of Federal Express flight 705. (Photo courtesy of: Harrison Krix via Flickr CC)

Homemade Guns

The advent of 3D printing has opened a gaping hole in America's gun laws. While you need to have a license to purchase a firearm, you don't need anything of the sort to build one yourself. Homemade firearms are legal because the receiver - the part of the rifle that connects the mechanisms - are sold unfinished, which doesn't require registration. As long as you don't sell your homemade gun or transfer it to another person, you can own any kind of firearm you make yourself. (Photo courtesy of: Wikimedia Commons)

 

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Is This a Japanese Game Show Where Contestants Get Handjobs While Singing Karaoke?

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Oh, so that's how he hits all of those high notes.

handjob karaoke, japanese handjob game show
According to BuzzFeed, there is apparently a new game show in Japan called "Sing What Happens" that features male contestants singing karaoke while receiving what appears to be one hell of a hand job from a nice young lady. The objective for the guy is to finish the song before he, you know...finishes elsewhere, while it's the job (literally) of the girl to make sure that doesn't happen.

handjob karaoke, japanese handjob game show
Maybe it's just us, but it seems like the guy would be the winner no matter how things turned out, making it the greatest game show of all time.

Or is it?

A recent thread on Reddit suggests the video is actually a "porn made to look like a game show." We'll let you be the judge.


Let's be honest: Whether that's a game show or a skin flick, it doesn't matter. None of the people involved will ever be elected as their country's Prime Minister.

More: Kendall Jenner's Sexy GQ Shoot
Kendall Jenner's Sexy GQ Shoot

 

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Check Out What Plastic Surgery Has Done to This Porn Star

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According to Aletta Ocean's IMDb page, the 27-year-old porn star is a "buxom and shapely brunette knockout." But apparently it took a little while to get there.

That's because the star of skin flicks like "Panty Pops 4," "Barely Legal Jungle Fever 3" and "Nice Ass" wasn't very "shapely" when she first appeared on the scene in 2007. Thanks to the wonder of plastic surgery, though, "shapely" is now an accurate way to describe her. Very accurate.

porn star aletta ocean
porn star aletta ocean
porn star aletta ocean
porn star aletta ocean
porn star aletta ocean
porn star aletta ocean
porn star aletta ocean
porn star aletta ocean
porn star aletta ocean
Aletta Ocean's facial features and breasts aren't the only things of hers that have changed since 2007, as the porn star has also changed names on several occasions. You might have also seen her perform as Artemis Gold, Aletta, Aletta Alien, Alien, Dora, Aletta Oceane and our favorite: Doris.

via Izismile

Also check out: Kendall Jenner's Topless GQ Shoot
Kendall Jenner's Sexy GQ Shoot

 

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News Reporter Can't Stop Caressing Phallic Coral Reef Display

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Reporter Can't Stop Touching Phallic Coral Reef Exhibit

Sometimes I'll sit at my desk and click a pen like a maniac for 30 seconds straight before I realize I'm doing it, so I can relate to this news reporter not being aware of her actions. However, if you are on live television, you should probably be a little more cautious about constantly stroking an item that looks like a penis. We know it's just an innocent coral reef exhibit made out of Floam, but if the anchorwoman hadn't stopped the grabby reporter, we feel like they would have had to blur out the rest of this segment.

 

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Kendall Jenner Sports Serious Underboob in Her New GQ Shoot

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Kendall Jenner's Sexy GQ Shoot

Kendall Jenner has helped get our week off to a remarkable start with her May shoot for GQ. The 19-year-old model and TV personality is already making a name for herself at a ripe, perky age, and this cover shoot for GQ isn't hurting one bit. Check out the video and see Kendall Jenner talk the art of the selfie, who she loves to text and her favorite website. Or just sit back and stare intensely at the screen. That's perfectly acceptable and understandable in this case, too.

 

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This Might Be The Weirdest Question Anyone Has Ever Asked On Tinder

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We've seen a lot of interesting go down in Tinder chats lately, but this one is going to be hard to top. While it's a place for very random and interesting questions, I highly doubt anyone on there ever expected to be asked something like this.




(h/t Playboy)

 

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Today's Funny Photos

10 Bizarre Experiments Performed On Humans

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Any scientist will tell you that a hypothesis is no good until it's tested. We often turn to the animal kingdom for particularly intense experiments, but sometimes only a human body will do the job. In this feature, we'll tell you about ten cases of humans conscripted as lab rats in some seriously twisted studies.

Testicle Radiation Tests
testicle radiation tests
Convicts are a very appealing population for scientists to experiment on. After all, they're not going anywhere, and people on the outside of prison walls don't care all that much about what's happening behind them. So in 1963, NASA scientists curious as to the effects of radiation on the male reproductive system approached prison officials in Washington and Oregon and asked them to offer inmates $25 to take a blast of radiation to the nutsack. Scientists told the subjects that they were just "glorified X-rays," but in reality the dose was over 2000 times as powerful, and many of the men developed testicular cancer in the decades afterwards. (Photo credit: Clinical Imaging Science)

Football Player Concussion Tests
football player concussion tests
In the 21st century, the science of brain trauma is pretty clear: take a hard hit and your gray matter will smash against your skull and make you dumber. But back in 1958, people didn't know that, so when Dr. Henry Montoye of Michigan State University decided to test the durability of football helmets, he did it by putting them on college football players, strapping them down in chairs and dropping weights directly on top of their heads to see how it felt. For heavier weights, Montoye used wooden dummy noggins, but that just begs the question as to why he used students at all. (Photo credit: Purdue University photo/Andrew Hancock)

Mary Rafferty's Brain
mary rafferty brain
Sometimes a subject comes along that's just too perfect to ignore. When a woman named Mary Rafferty walked into the Good Samaritan Hospital in Cincinnati, Ohio in 1874 with an ulcer in her scalp, it gave a curious doctor named Roberts Bartholow a chance to perform one of the most demented experiments of all time. The ulcer gave Bartholow access to the woman's brain, so he inserted electrified needles into her gray matter and delivered shocks of a level sufficient to send her into a seizure, then a coma. He repeated the process until she eventually died. Bartholow tried to blame the ulcer, but an autopsy revealed he'd caused her death. Amazingly, he didn't lose his license and went on to become Professor Emeritus of the Jefferson Medical College. (Photo credit: Wikimedia Commons)

Tuskegee Syphilis Experiment
Tuskeegee Syphilis Experiment
Sexually transmitted diseases are like catnip to doctors, giving them the opportunity to study the spread of a pathogen in society. However, for the 600 men involved in the Tuskegee Syphilis Experiment, some serious breaches in ethics resulted in them spreading their STDs even wider. The study, which focused on poor rural farmers in Alabama, didn't actually tell the subjects that they had syphilis. Instead, the men were told they had "bad blood" and were not treated with penicillin, which had been proven to clear up the infection. (Photo credit: Wikimedia Commons)

Alexis St. Martin's Stomach
Alexis St. Martin's Stomach
Necessity is the mother of invention, and what makes a scientist truly great is his ability to take advantage when an opportunity arises. For doctor William Beaumont, that time came when he was stationed on Michigan's remote Mackinac Island. When a man named Alexis St. Martin accidentally took a shotgun blast to the gut, it essentially opened up a window into his digestive system. Beaumont kept him alive and used St. Martin as a kind of living laboratory, inserting a variety of objects into St. Martin's open stomach over the course of the next ten years! Beaumont's experiments proved that digestive juices in the stomach were in fact responsible for breaking down food into nutrients, but he picked a gross way to go about it. (Photo credit: Godfather politics)

Heat Tolerance Box
Heat Tolerance Box
You have to give it up for those brave scientists who act as their own guinea pigs. In 1948, the U.S. Air Force commissioned the University of California to figure out exactly what the maximum temperature the human body could withstand was. The idea was to determine how much heat shielding jet pilots would need, so Dr. Craig Taylor built a specially-designed "hot box" and locked himself in it as it heated up to 262 degrees Fahrenheit. A steel plate in front of him fried eggs while he and his assistants suffered the insane temperatures for as long as 15 minutes. (Photo credit: Modern Mechanic)

David Reimer's Penis
David Reimer's Penis
Here's a particularly insane experiment that basically ruined the life of one poor kid. When twin boys David and Brian Reimer were born, a surgeon decided for some unknown reason to circumcise David with an electrocautery needle. He ended up completely destroying the baby's penis. Things then got worse. The young parents were referred to psychologist Dr. John Money, who recommended that David be raised as a girl. Money wanted to prove that gender was entirely a social construct, not a biological one. Now called Brenda, David lived a nightmarish existence of discomfort in his own body until he was 14 and his parents told him the truth. He underwent grueling surgery to remove his estrogen-fueled breasts and have an artificial penis and testicles attached to his body. Tragically, David committed suicide in 2004. (Photo credit: Bilimsokak)

Stanford Prison Experiment
Stanford Prison Experiment
A psychology professor named Philip Zimbardo wanted to study the mental effects of power dynamics in captivity, so he conducted one of the most notorious behavioral science experiments of all time, the Stanford Prison Experiment. 24 Stanford students were locked in the basement of a campus building for two weeks and randomly assigned the roles of "convict" or "guard." Over the span of a few days, the experiment degenerated into absolute torture, with guards subjecting prisoners to a variety of abusive acts. The experiment was canceled after six days when Zimbardo realized things were going wildly out of control. (Photo credit: YouTube)

The Bobo Doll Experiment
bobo doll experiment
Experimenting on grown adults is one thing, but kids? Good lord, science, get it together. Psychologist Albert Bandura had theories that watching violent media made kids behave violently, so in 1961 he began what would become known as the "Bobo doll" experiment, where preschoolers watched an adult beat the crap out of an inflatable clown doll and then were asked to interact with the doll themselves. Surprise! Most of the kids beat the crap out of the doll, too. Some people weren't convinced, so in 1963 Bandura repeated the experiment with an actual live clown. Yes, this dude actually had kids whale on a circus clown for science. (Photo credit: Personal PSU)

Project MK-ULTRA
project mkultra
The Cold War saw intelligence agencies on both sides of the Iron Curtain throw off their gloves and really get down to business, and science was an important part of that. During the 1960s, the rise of psychedelics inspired some of the CIA's spymasters to investigate their effects. Because you couldn't tip off a target before a bad trip, they experimented on unwitting American civilians as part of a program code-named MK-ULTRA. From 1953 to 1964, the CIA dosed people with LSD, mescaline and other substances without them knowing. Two of their subjects (that we know of) died as a result. (Photo credit: Wikimedia Commons)

 

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Billionaire Tony Toutouni's 13 Most Insane Instagram Photos

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Tony Toutouni is a self-proclaimed billionaire. His Instagram account, @lunatic_living, seems to back up that claim. There are barely dressed women, crazy cars, wild house parties and, well, a lot more barely dressed women. A lot of these photos prominently feature Toutouni's middle finger. Because that's his thing. Here are the 13 most insane photos from Tony Toutouni's Instagram account.

tony toutouni instagram
tony toutouni instagram
tony toutouni instagram
tony toutouni instagram
tony toutouni instagram
tony toutouni instagram
tony toutouni instagram
tony toutouni instagram
tony toutouni instagram
tony toutouni instagram
tony toutouni instagram
tony toutouni instagram
tony toutouni instagram

 

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The Absolute Craziest Stuff Pulled From The Sea

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Evolutionary science tells us we all came from the sea, and climate science tells us we will all return to the sea after Antarctica melts and Miami turns into Venice (with way more Cuban restaurants). It's both easy and popular to ignore these scientific pronouncements, but there's still a part of the human psyche that's always fascinated by crazy shit getting pulled out of the water that makes up 71% of the Earth's surface. Here are some of our favorite examples.

LAME SHARKS, CAUGHT BY RAD BOBCATS

Among all the other weird stuff going on in Florida, a bobcat catching a shark wouldn't normally rate much notice, but thanks to photographer John Bailey we got amazing photo evidence of the least likely battle between predators ever conceived. Florida's Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission declared the photo entirely probable and believable, saying that bobcats were known for hunting anything they could catch and that the shark was known to inhabit shallow waters. Come to Florida, where running away from a gigantic bobcat will only expose you to vicious shark attacks!

GIANT LEGO MEN

Four different times on four different beaches, spanning the world from the Netherlands to Japan, eight-foot tall Lego figures have washed ashore bearing a sinister grin and the mysterious t-shirt message NO REAL THAN YOU ARE. Is this the work of ancient aliens? Probably yes, but it's also maybe the work of pseudonymous Dutch artist Ego Leonard, who specializes in giant Lego figures, is not very good at English, and in some cases had his name and website spelled out on the back of these figures. The smart money is still on ancient aliens.

ANCIENT GREEK COMPUTERS
04 Apr 2012, Athens, Greece --- April 4, 2012 - Athens, Greece - The famous ''Antikythera Mechanism'' is the earliest preserved portable astronomical calculator.The ''Antikythera Shipwreck'' exhibition takes place at National Archaeological museum in Athens. All antiquities recovered in 1900-1901 and 1976 from the legendary shipwreck off the islet of Antikythera, South of the Peloponnese will be presented for the first time in a temporary exhibition. The recovery of the shipwreck itself was the first major underwater archaeological expedition. It was undertaken by sponge divers with the assistance of the Greek Royal navy(1900-1901). The wreck is dated aproximately in 60-50 BC. (Credit Image: © Aristidis Vafeiadakis) --- Image by © Aristidis Vafeiadakis/ZUMA Press/Corbis
In 1901, an archaeological expedition to the Greek island of Antikythera pulled a random chunk of rusty garbage that happened to look like a gear out of a ship that wrecked 200 years before Christ. After seventy years of archaeologists looking at that rusty garbage and thinking "boy, that sure looks like something," x-ray analysis proved that it was in fact an analog computer of a level of sophistication that wouldn't be matched until at least the 14th century. The Antikythera Mechanism ended up revolutionizing our understanding of ancient Greek science and technology, and modern reproductions show that the device functioned perfectly according to existing Greek mathematics and astronomy.

SNACKS! AWESOME!

What's the best way to motivate people to clean up the beach? Try kicking a cargo container full of delicious airtight Doritos off a freighter and having the still-sealed bags wash ashore. Citizens of Hatteras Island in North Carolina displayed a heroic commitment to the environment after a still-unidentified cargo container came ashore leaking thousands of Cool Ranch, Spicy, and Original Nacho bags intended for overseas. Were these Dorito cleanup crews lucky or unlucky that the container wasn't bound for Japan and thus loaded with Asian-exclusive flavors like Wasabi Mayonnaise, Winter Crab, and Italian Seafood?

DESIGNER FOOTWEAR

Ever wonder how Nike can get away with charging $500 for shoes that feel like wearing snow tires? Next time, try wearing a cheaper brand of shoe after it's been floating in the ocean for three years. Of the surprising number of running shoes that have been lost at sea, the most famous was a load of Nikes that fell off the boat off the coast of Northeast Canada in 1990 and were still showing up in wearable condition on Asian shores in 1994. Spills of shoes are so frequent, and shoes so buoyant and durable that scientists often use them to track ocean currents.

DESIGNER FOOTWEAR CONTAINING FEET

On the other hand, maybe don't jam that soggy Air Jordan onto your foot just yet, especially if you live in British Columbia. Over the years, there have been ten cases of single sneakers washing up on Canadian beaches with nasty surprises inside, and theories ran wild as to their source. A foot-obsessed serial killer? Shipwreck victims? And considering that some of the shoes seemed to be ones only sold in Asia, is it possible these grisly surprises floated all the way across the ocean? Eventually, all but one foot was traced to local missing persons and suicide cases, and police decided that foul play wasn't necessarily involved: a corpse in the ocean tends to lose things like feet and limbs after a while.

MONTAUK MONSTER

When confronted with such a hideous creature as that which washed ashore near Montauk, New York, scientists have only one question: is that a raccoon? Despite local rumors suggesting the Montauk Monster escaped from the nearby Plum Island Animal Disease Center, scientists soon identified the creature as a raccoon that was missing its upper jaw and generally having a pretty rough time of it. While a few researchers insist that it was either a diseased coyote or just a composite fake of other animals, local citizens know only one thing: it was delicious.

GLOBSTERS

The Montauk Monster was far from the first terrifying creature that washed up on the shore and turned out to be just a regular gross dead thing. The term "globster" was coined after a ten-ton six-armed eyeless hairy glob-monster washed ashore in western Tasmania, sparking international interest in what seemed like the newest and most horrifying animal from a part of the world already rich in horrifying animals. Killjoy scientists later proved the "sea monster" and many other similar "creatures" were just badly decomposed part of a whale's corpse, putting the brakes on what might have become a promising tourism industry in western Tasmania.

TERRIFYINGLY HUGE EYEBALLS

Sometimes we don't even get the entire sea monster washing up on the beach, sometimes we just get pieces of them that prove the rest of the sea monster is too big and scary to even think about. In October 2012, Gino Covacci was walking on a Fort Lauderdale beach (possibly trying to escape a bobcat) and stumbled across an eyeball the size of a Domino's Pasta BreadBowl. Much like you would if you stumbled across a Domino's Pasta BreadBowl, Covacci immediately wrapped the eye in plastic and called the police. Scientists determined that the eye came from a swordfish weighing roughly 1400 pounds, and even today Mr. Covacci lives in fear that one day that swordfish will come back looking for his missing eyeball.

REAL ACTUAL COMPLETE GIANT DAMN SQUIDS

Thirty terrifying feet of a giant squid might be something you came across if you were strolling along a Spanish beach in 2001. At least five giant squids washed ashore on the Spanish coast in 2001 and 2003, during the same time that survey boats were studying the ocean floor with a series of sonic blasts. Scientists soon put two and two together, but to make sure it was the sonic blasts that were doing it, they gathered some 200 regular-size squids and blasted them with 160 decibel sounds then chopped them up to see if that messed them up at all. Researchers proved beyond a doubt squids hate deadly sonic blasts, but may have forgotten three important facts: 1) squids are among the most intelligent invertebrates alive, 2) the largest known squid specimen is some ninety feet long and weighs over a ton, and 3) they just killed two hundred of these squids' adorable baby cousins.

 

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