'Would You Rather?' The Privacy Episode

June 4, 2015, 7:50 am

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Starting today, we are going to present you with a weekly thought-provoking question that simply starts with, "Would you rather...?" In our first episode, we tackle the issue of privacy, and ask people if they'd rather let their significant other look through their texts, or their employer scroll through their internet history. I know what I would choose. How about you?

 

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This 'Nuts Stuck In A Bike Prank' is Painfully Hilarious (NSFW Language)

June 4, 2015, 8:41 am

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What would you do if you were enjoying a casual stroll on a beautiful Thursday afternoon and came upon some poor bastard whose bike accident somehow left his testicles stuck between the spokes?


Luckily for the guys in this video who appeared to be in excruciating pain, there were a few good people who stopped by to do whatever was necessary to fix the situation. Also luckily for the guys? You guessed it: Nobody ripped off their real nuts when they found out they were part of a prank.

Although, you have to think the Phillies fan at the end of the video considered it.

Unfortunately for this teacher, it wasn't a prank when he took an ax to his testicles: Here's a Physics Teacher Getting Hit in the Nuts With an Ax

 

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And The World's Biggest Butt Belongs To...

June 4, 2015, 9:23 am

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Everyone should have something about themselves that they are happy about and proud of, and for a woman in Los Angeles that special attribute she holds dearly is her record size butt.



Mikel Ruffinelli, who Sir Mix-a-Lot probably envisioned when he was writing his legendary, classic, important song, holds the record for the world's largest butt. Ruffinelli's hips measure 8.25 feet around. Not only does she hold the record, but now she gets to appear on TLC, which is like everyone's dream, probably.

"I love my curves, I love my hips," Ruffinelli proudly states. "Men don't fancy skinny girls, they like an hourglass figure."

I actually fancy record holders.

Ruffinelli struggles to walk down corridors and she has to angle herself to get into the shower, but no one, not even David Blaine can take away this record from her. But David can't hear you because he's underwater or in a box or up in a tree somewhere. No one has seen him in months.

You can see Ruffinelli on TLC in a documentary series titled "World's Biggest Hips."

I wonder how many squats she has done.

Via Complex

 

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Amy Schumer's Acceptance Speech at the GLAMOUR Awards Was Awesome (NSFW Language)

June 4, 2015, 9:37 am

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Have you ever heard a woman say, "I'm probably 160 pounds right now, and I can catch a dick whenever I want?"

Well, now you have.

According to TIME, Amy Schumer won the Trailblazer Award at the 2015 GLAMOUR Women of the Year Awards in London Tuesday night, and as you might expect, the funniest woman in the world "tore the fucking roof off" with her acceptance speech.


The entire five minutes and 43 seconds are a must-see, as just when you thought she wouldn't be able top her "Jack-o'-Lantern with tits" story, she swooped in with the tale of how every female comic who does a photo shoot winds up looking like a, well, "dumpster," to put it mildly.

Let's be honest: Amy Schumer and GLAMOUR would usually go together about as well as Lindsay Lohan and sobriety. But after that acceptance speech, here's to hoping they find another award to present her with next year. And the year after that, for that matter.

Watching porn in the presence of porn stars is also hysterical: Watching Porn With Porn Stars Is Awkward, Hilarious and Very Educational

 

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Naked Ohio Teen Breaks Into House, Gets Shot and Then Begins Mastrubating

June 4, 2015, 10:12 am

≫ Next: Man Masturbating In Port-A-Potty Gets Knocked Over By Homeless Vigilantes

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That's not a hat trick to be proud of, kid.

According to FOX 19, an "aggressive and sexually threatening" 17-year-old boy is in deep shit after he broke into a Hamilton Township residence last month while he was butt naked.


Around 10:20 p.m. on May 9, a man and his wife called 911 to report that there was a naked teen who was "probably on something" running around and attempting to break into their house. Things quickly escalated when the teen approached the man's wife and "attempted to hurt her by grabbing her around the neck."

The man grabbed his shotgun and warned the teen to stay back if he didn't want to get shot, but when he didn't listen, well, he got shot in the back.

Unfortunately, the shotgun round also caught the man's wife in her shoulder and eye. Also unfortunate for the couple? You guessed it: The naked teen began "running himself into walls" before stopping on their porch to masturbate.

Police quickly figured out the boy was still "highly sexualized" when they arrived because he grabbed one officer by his balls. The teen was eventually apprehended and charged with attempted burglary, attempted rape, assault on a police officer and public indecency, none of which look good on a college resume.

Well, unless you're trying to get into Florida State.

Maybe he learned it from watching his favorite horse jockey: Pennsylvania Horse Jockey Shot After Masturbating on Woman's Porch

 

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Man Masturbating In Port-A-Potty Gets Knocked Over By Homeless Vigilantes

June 4, 2015, 10:58 am

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Just because there are surprising health benefits to masturbating does not mean you can pleasure yourself in public. Reportedly, a male exhibitionist in Portland thought differently and started masturbating in a port-a-potty with the door open. A group of homeless people who live near the portable toilet didn't like this for obvious reasons, and decided to teach him a lesson.


According to KATU, a 48-year-old homeless man entered the port-a-potty near the foot of Portland's Hawthorne Bridge this morning and, despite pleas for him to stop, kept flashing onlookers over and over again. Then, a homeless female witness said, "Our friend thought it would be funny to get up and jump behind the port-a-potty and kick it."

So they did, and it toppled over and covered him in feces. It also trapped the pervert inside, so Portland Fire and Rescue crews had to get him out. Responding police officers declined to arrest him, reporting that he was fine physically, "but he had a crappy day."

True, but when you flash people and masturbate in public, you deserve that. Or, as one of the homeless vigilantes put it: This is what happens for showing [your] dick.

 

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Watch This Guy Try to Jump Into His Pants From the Top Bunk

June 4, 2015, 12:33 pm

≫ Next: Instant Karma Is Always At Work, And It's Glorious

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Three guys, a bunk bed and a pair of pants. What could possibly go wrong? Turns out, not as much as you think, as the main guy in this "Bunk Bed Challenge" actually lands in his pants. However, it's the other two doofuses who are holding his jeans who get the worst of it, all while the uninvolved fourth member of the group cackles with glee.

 

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Instant Karma Is Always At Work, And It's Glorious

June 4, 2015, 7:07 pm

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One of the simple pleasures of life is seeing someone get what's coming to them. But what really puts a smile on everyone's face is when karma instantly happens because even karma didn't want you to wait around to see the offender get their comeuppance. Here is a compilation of some glorious moments of instant karma.

 

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Sydney Bombshell Amber Will Leave You Speechless

June 4, 2015, 8:20 pm

≫ Next: Raquel Petit Reminds Us Why Summers Are Sexy

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Raquel Petit Reminds Us Why Summers Are Sexy

June 4, 2015, 8:28 pm

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Today's Funny Photos

June 5, 2015, 12:30 am

≫ Next: What to Expect in 2015 Summer Tech

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It's Friday and it's time to laugh. Here are today's funny photos. May they serve you well on your journey into the weekend.





Click here for more funny photos.










Click here for more funny photos.

 

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What to Expect in 2015 Summer Tech

June 5, 2015, 1:01 am

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With the release of the Apple Watch underway, the floodgates have opened for what we might expect in this summer's tech, and we'll tell you this: It's only getting weirder. With long awaited gadgets, innovative hybrid inventions, software updates, price cuts and tech conferences at every turn, there's plenty to expect in this summer's tech industry. Let's see if you can keep up.

Apple iPad Pro (12")

Apple will host its annual tech conference - WWDC - in which a newly anticipated item will possibly be revealed. In addition to some likely MacBook and iMac updates, the rumor on the hills of Silicon Valley is that Apple intends to release a new, larger iPad, which spans 12.9 inches, uses a Force Touch technology like Apple Watch and possibly will sport the much desired USB port all previous iPads have lacked, as well as a multitasking split screen feature.

Apple TV

While Apple works out the kinks of relaunching its newly acquired Beats Music, it will however likely sport a long awaited update to its Apple TV model. The last time Apple TV got a facelift was nearly 5 years ago, simply getting software updates, but now with all the streaming technology and smart TVs on the market, Apple is expected to launch a BlueTooth-savvy remote that allows voice activated Siri commands and features a touch pad to replace the outdated iPod wheel. In addition, the box is expected to have a fast-processing A8 chip, making streaming quicker with Apple TV than anyplace else.

Android M

Late May brought the announcement of Android M, the new Android operating system, at the Google I/O 2015 conference. Android M is a step backwards in the right direction. What the fuck does that even mean? It means Android might've gotten ahead of itself for a minute, and Android M was invented to store stability and fix some of its inconsistencies. Where most Android users were expecting flashy fun and light shows, Google saw fit to restore order for a practical improvement that will serve Android in the long haul, set to launch after the end of summer.

The conference also saw the invention of Android's version of Apple Pay and Google Jump, a reinterpretation of filmmaking from a 16-camera, virtual reality perspective in conjunction with GoPro.

iOS 9 & AppleBot

Though there isn't likely to be any iPhone speculation going on this summer with Apple, the tech nazi is most likely going to give us the skinny on some ensuing software remedies, mainly a glance into what to expect from iOS 9 updates - after the impressive iOS 8 overhaul - in the fall. Included in said sermon, Apple may be releasing its own search engine to replace the default Safari and run competition against Google's Chrome, which is also getting a tummy tuck and liposuction of its own doing. The Spotlight feature that has been updated last year by Apple is basically the starting point for their full-on search engine, so don't be surprised if you're doing things differently this time next year.

Oculus Rift

After becoming a rumored electronic gadget spectacle in the past, the futuristic marriage of virtual reality and gaming is coming into the realm of consumerism: Oculus Rift. A new kind of wearable technology, this head piece is adding a new avenue of interactive gaming to the streets of 3-D experience. Sony and Samsung are rumored to come out with their own version, but Oculus Rift is slated for a summer preorder. Starting around $350, the future of stepping into your video games is here. Good luck finding a stopping point.

Project Ara

From a financial and convenience aspect, Project Ara is something people have been craving for their cell phones for some time. As many of us struggle to fix broken iPhones or fall victim to high costs of shattered screens, Project Ara is a "modular" phone that allows you to replace its parts as you go. Instead of trading up for new phones on the reg, owners of this clever concept upgrade cameras, improve performance and replace broken pieces along the way in a cost efficient manner. If nothing else, maybe this will get companies like Apple to go easy on their parts payment plan.

CarPlay

The fancy schmancy car-driving convenience of CarPlay is spreading its wings into some of the less affluent car brands, finally. The hands-off, voice-activated Siri control console that allows for Bluetooth messaging and call answering, as well as map navigating and music streaming, will reach into more common middle class brands like Ford, Audi, Kia and Jeep - not just new cars - to reach a wider market. Apple has done this before with its Apple 5C, trying to cover all its markets, and CarPlay is just the hands-free mobile upgrade it's been after in the auto industry.

Also in auto news, Nissan and Cadillac are expected to incorporate "smart review mirrors," which feature LCD monitors that allows drivers to alternate their viewing options for safer visuals behind the wheel.

4K TV Price Cuts

They say 2015 is the year to buy a TV, as prices on even the most high end sets are coming to fruition. With so many people sticking to their computers to watch their premium cable shows, and with all the advancements in viewing experience, 4K TVs are getting a price cut as we await the next resolution to replace the one that replaced 1080p viewing. While Samsung has toted its $150k Ultra HD TV, the average cost of 4K TV sets is falling below $1000. Asian girls not included. All this from the guy who doesn't even have a TV in his home.

Windows 10

On the first day of June, Microsoft announced that July 29 would be the summer release date for their anxiously awaited Windows 10 software. The new operating system is the first since 2012's Windows 8 - where the fuck is Windows 9! - and will combine traditional Windows layout - Start button! - with new modern upgrades for one of the strongest non-Apple operating systems on the globe.

The Dash

If you weren't sure what year we were living in, take a look at the newly released wireless headphones, The Dash. With a built-in microphone and fitness tracking to go with the convenience of a wireless listening experience, The Dash gives you updates and feedback according to your heart rate and workout routine so you can have a smart, bionic kind of workout. The future is freaky!

 

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This Guy's Overly Honest Tinder Bio Is The Greatest Tinder Bio

June 5, 2015, 1:28 am

≫ Next: The Strangest Official Movie Merchandise of All Time

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As the Internet has shown us, there are a number of ways to make your Tinder profile stand out so you're more likely to get that coveted right swipe from women. However, most of the suggestions are a bunch of cheesy lines and ridiculous photos, when it seems that, in the end, honesty is actually the best policy. If you don't think so, read this guy's hilariously honest profile and tell me he doesn't deserve a right swipe from every woman on the planet.


(via HappyPlace)

 

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The Strangest Official Movie Merchandise of All Time

June 5, 2015, 1:50 am

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When marketing a film, it's important to keep a few things in mind when it comes to merchandise. First and foremost, does this product make sense in regards to the movie? Secondly, should we be marketing this film and its products to children? Last but not least, is this product even worth making and would anyone actually be interested in owning it? We're not sure if these questions didn't cross developers minds when they came out with the following movie tie-in products or if they simply seemed like good ideas at the time, but in either case, please enjoy the plethora of weird headed your way.

"Fifty Shades of Grey" Christian Grey Teddy Bear

What do a cuddly teddy bear and women's soft-core bondage porn have in common? Seriously, we're asking. Does it have something to do with laundry detergent?

"Rocky" The Meat Figure

The Meat sold separately. And no, we're not joking.

"Iron Man 3" Computer Mouse

Surf the web while poking your favorite superhero in the eyes repeatedly. And at only $113, you'd be a sucker not to do it.

"Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back" Tauntaun Sleeping Bag

Let your children slumber the night away in the only sleeping bag with that "killing to survive" comfort.

"Despicable Me 2" Fart Blaster Minion Gadget

Or, to the parent of the child who just received this as a gift, your worst nightmare.

"Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan" Photon Torpedo Casket

Now with bonus urn for those who'd like to die with slightly more dignity.

"Monsters University" Go Glow Flashlight

We just double-checked, and it's definitely not "asslight."

"E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial" Atari Video Game

So poorly designed that copies recently had to be dug out of a landfill.

"Shrek Forever After" Twinkies with Creamy Ogre Green Filling

We repeat: "ogre green creamy filling."

"Rambo" Black Flak Bubble Gum

That black raspberry flavor that makes blowing dudes' heads off as pleasant as a Vietnam flashback.

"Watchmen" Condoms

They'll go great with your new Pinocchio boxers.

"A Nightmare on Elm Street" Freddy Fright Squirter

Don't be a horrible parent. Ages 4 and up only, please.

"Twilight" Manllows

So we snuck one unofficial product onto this list, but it was too sad not to.

"Human Centipede" Necklace

OK, we'll throw a second unofficial item in for good measure. Some sort of measure, anyways.

"Dune" Coloring and Activity Books

We think this sample illustration speaks for itself.

"The Dark Knight" Joker Dog Costume

Dress your Pit Bull like a homicidal maniac. What could go wrong?

"Aliens," "Predator" and "Terminator 2: Judgment Day" Micro Machines

Sure, they're all rated-R movies, but at least none of the packaging reflects tha -- oh dear god.

"Casino Royale" 007 Bathing Suit Popsicle

For the woman who's already terrible at the art of seduction, suck on this shirtless mansicle.

Kentucky Fried Chicken's "License to Kill" 007 Ties

Matching cufflinks available at Carl's Jr.

"Mean Girls" Nintendo DS Video Game

With sample gameplay this engrossing, how could we say no?

"Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves" Cereal

Now with even more mini Robin Hood penises in every bite!

"Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone" Vibrating Nimbus 2000 Broom

It was, not surprisingly, more popular among teen girls before getting pulled from the market almost immediately.

"Being John Malkovich" Promotional Nesting Dolls

Cool?

"The Blair Witch Project" Soundtrack

From the movie that brought you no actual music.

"Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace" Jar Jar Binks Lollipop

We're not sure what's worse: this french-kissing children's sucker or the Lando Calrissian Disguise Kit.

 

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This Week's 20 Funniest Tweets

June 5, 2015, 2:50 am

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Another week, another batch of the most hilarious tweets compiled just for you. Be sure to follow these guys and gals, and check back here every week for more jokes you can tell your friends and pretend you came up with them yourself. They'll think you're hilarious, but inside you'll be cold and dead.

Follow @robfee on Twitter.

We didn't have Legos when I was a kid. We had Lincoln Logs & we could build anything with them: big cabin, small cabin, you name the cabin.

- Just Bill (@WilliamAder) May 27, 2015

-Mom how'd you meet Dad? -Well I was rage-dancing to dubstep, he liked what he saw and pointed to his genitals as if to say 'get up on this'

- Sandy (@onedumbshark) April 26, 2015

[starbucks] barista: name? guy: [is a secret agent & can't reveal real name so he looks around for ideas] my name is pic.twitter.com/AxLWWzngjq

- Sage Boggs (@sageboggs) May 15, 2015

COP:Do u know how fast u were going ME: The posted speed limit, 495 COP: Sir that's the route number, i don't even know how I caught up to u

- pat tobin (@tastefactory) May 23, 2015

Fitness coach: have you been exercising & doing push-ups? *Flashback to me running after the ice cream man & buying all the push-ups* "yes"

- Saucy Kensington (@Book_Krazy) May 31, 2015

My favorite scene in ET is where ET makes the kid smell his weird dick finger

- Tamara Yajia (@DancesWithTamis) May 27, 2015

No, facebook. I do not have 5 events coming up today. I have 0. I have 0 events coming up today.

- Ari Scott (@ariscott) May 29, 2015

Hey now You're a mall cop Tell the bad kids Don't skaaate Hey now Ride a golf cart Get your stun gun Go taaaze and most nights i sleep alone

- Cat Damon (@CornOnTheGoblin) May 29, 2015

CUTE GIRL I LIKE: I'm gonna hang up ME TRYING TO FLIRT: No you hang up

- Br&on the Cow (@Brampersandon_) May 9, 2015

Whenever someone says they have "a thing" for me, I secretly hope it's a pony.

- Bandersnaaatch (@Bandersnaaatch) May 27, 2015

Women with radioactive babies? pic.twitter.com/5OC8f3Imwb

- Augusten Burroughs (@augusten) May 24, 2015

The year is 2040. A child is singing the emoji alphabet song. It is 13 minutes long.

- Lord Pinky (@HiddenPinky) May 28, 2015

LITTLE KNOWN FACT Mickey Rourke ate a dinosaur in the late 90s, and it has been slowly emerging to gradually take full control of his body.

- batkaren (@batkaren) May 24, 2015

I'm not Madagascar, I'm just disappointedgascar

- Mr. Peel (@Rlpihl) July 18, 2014

We shouldn't send our trash into space, that's how you get space raccoons

- Shawn (@CakeThrottle) May 16, 2015

No matter where you take a vacation photo, a middle-aged man in cargo shorts WILL sneak into the background.

- Molly McNearney (@mollymcnearney) May 12, 2015

can't wait til the future when humans can fly and we can finally complain about bird traffic

- tara shoe (@tarashoe) May 18, 2015

[Calls an ex] Ex: Hello Me: Remember how you lied about everything Ex: Why are you doing this Me: It's Throwback Thursday

- AmberTozer (@AmberTozer) May 28, 2015

1850 love letter: my darling, what it has been to live all this time in your heart no phrase can convey 2015 love letter: im drunk talk 2 me

- claudia martin (@cloudypianos) May 10, 2015

A depressed, one-eyed horse, trotting thru the streets. Some call him Sighclops. Others don't find this amusing.

- Jason Lastname (@JasonLastname) May 27, 2015

More very funny tweets can be found right here.

 

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Check Out These NBA Stars Reading Some Mean Tweets

June 5, 2015, 3:08 am

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We've seen celebrities, musicians and even the President read Mean Tweets on Jimmy Kimmel before, and while some NBA stars have also read some tweets, it sure doesn't get old seeing these rich and successful NBA stars have a bunch of strangers they will never meet bash them for the oddest reasons.

I look forward to ESPN asking LeBron James what he thinks about this after they ask him about his breakfast.

 

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This Is Why You Shouldn't Give Markers To Kids

June 5, 2015, 3:35 am

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As a parent, one of the worst things you can do for your child is give them markers. What do you care more about? That your child expresses themselves creatively and is artistic, or that your furniture and walls remain intact? Exactly. Sorry, kiddo, Etch-A-Sketch it is.


They are either proud of their work or plotting something sinister.


I'm going to assume the kids who did this were never seen again.


This is how this kid feels about Ikea.


He already knows the bathroom is the best room in the house.


Mean girls.


Look at that dog's eyes. He has accepted his fate.


Get a family, they said. It'll be fun, they said.


"Not so cute now, are you?"


If he didn't wake up through all that, I will assume he was dead.


From the Andy Warhol collection.

Via Tumblr

 

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A Site All About Your Balls Is Now Up For Your Viewing Pleasure

June 5, 2015, 4:37 am

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We spend a lot of time hanging out with our balls, but the majority of us don't really know much about them-so a website that has all the information you need on your friends has been launched.



The Ball Report, a project of the Sean Kimerling Foundation, is a site that was made to raise awareness about testicular cancer, as well as encouraging men to keep up with doctor visits and their health. Basically anything to do with balls, this site has covered.

In the Ball Report you can find news involving balls, videos involving anything and everything to do with balls, anything that will help you remain healthy and even sports stories focusing on balls. I feel like I haven't said balls enough.

Via Mediaite

 

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14 Honest Questions You Wish You Could Ask on a First Date

June 5, 2015, 4:50 am

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For some reason, most people are rarely transparent on a first date. Oh wait, I know why-it's because even the craziest person knows better than to show how insane they are during their initial meeting. You have to let that stuff slowly seep out over time, then let the other person realized they've been duped into loving an insane person. But what if we were completely honest on a first date? Here are the questions you'd probably be asking more than any other.

1. How much am I going to hear about your stupid ex?

Everyone has a story from time to time that casually includes a mention of your ex, but if every sentence out of your mouth starts out with a mention of your former lover, followed by a long gaze out the window where you reminisce on what might have been, just give me the heads up so I can run away as fast as possible. I once went out with a girl who started crying out of nowhere and when I asked what was wrong, she said she felt bad about breaking up with her ex and wondered if he was doing OK. How exactly do you comfort someone in that moment?

2. Are you close to your parents as in "we talk a few times every week" or "I'm almost 30 and we still share a bed when I visit"?
If you have a great family, it makes a relationship so much better because now it's like you have bonus parents. Even parents that aren't the best can be handled in small doses. However, if all of our plans revolve around phone calls from your mom, it may be time to cut the cord a little. If you kiss your parents on the mouth you should legally have to tell the person you're dating as well as any of your neighbors and kids that may come trick or treating at your home.

3. Can you go through my Facebook friends and let me know which of them you've dated or hooked up with so we can get those future nightmare reveals all over at once?
If we just roll all of this into one conversation from hell, at least we can each process it and move on. The worst is when you run into someone you know and, after a lengthy conversation, the person walks away and you find out they used to plow your fiancée on the regular. There's probably nothing better than walking down the aisle at your wedding getting winks from all the people in the crowd that have banged your soulmate. Again, this is assuming your relationship is going a long way, but wouldn't it be nice to get all of that out of the way from the beginning?

4. How much money do you make/how much do you think I need to be making?

Look, I'm perfectly fine with paying for this meal, but just let me know if I'm going to be paying for everything you do for the duration of our relationship. If you're a little tight right now because you're pursuing your dream job, that's not only excusable, it's admirable. However, if your dream job is professionally waking up at noon and watching everything on the DVR before your pre-afternoon nap followed by an afternoon nap, let's just end this thing before it gets started.

5. What's your average text response time?
If one of us is operating at a nearly immediate text response rate and the other is a "oh I completely forgot I had a cell phone" rate, one is going to get super annoyed because their phone is blowing up like the last 20 minutes of a Michael Bay movie and the other is going to have an aneurism because they think you're either dead or hate them.

6. Do you have a Yelp-like review for your sexual abilities?
You know those Yelp checklists where they let you know what kind of attire to expect, the ambiance, the wait time, and what they have to offer from former customers? That, except for past sexual encounters so you can figure out if their personality is enough to make up for what's about to be the sexual equivalent of a room temperature cup of coffee.

7. Can we both just admit that we poop and not try to hide it for the first 6 months?

We all know what you're doing in the bathroom for ten minutes, so let's just stop doing that "I've never pooped" move where you go in there and try to cough loudly over your farts or adjust your sitting position so it doesn't make a loud splash when it hits the water. Yes, this is disgusting, but we all do it so why don't we just drop the stealthy charades?

8. Are you going to put all of this on Facebook?
If you both want your entire relationship documented and tracked online, that's wonderful for everyone except your Facebook friends. However, if one of your is private and the other wants to leak screenshots of a secret sex tape they recorded, that might be a bit of a problem.

9. Do you actually like sports or are you pretending to like them because I said I did?
This can go for the guy or the girl, but if you're just pretending to like something because the other person is interested, you're going to be absolutely miserable trying to act like you enjoy it every week, and they're going to hate life because you'll be miserable and want to leave as soon as you get there. The only solution is to be truthful or to be willing to drink enough each week where you don't mind it anymore. Go with the one that won't destroy your liver, OK?

10. If we say we're meeting at 8 p.m., what time do you think that means you should show up?

If one of you hears "let's meet at 8" and takes that as they should be there by 7:55 and the other person takes it as "I'll be watching TV, realize it's 7:59, then frantically jump in the shower" it's going to cause quite a bit of frustration. Let's just get it out of the way so I know to tell you a movie starts at 7:15 on Friday so you'll be ready when I come by to pick you up at 7:50 on Saturday.

11. Can I see a video of you when you're drunk so I know if you turn into a nightmare?
Speaking of destroying your liver, you know you're going to be drunk around this person at some point so you might as well discuss your drunken habits upfront. If you're one of those drunks that start yelling at everyone, then crying because you yelled, followed by a brief vomiting bout, and a call to your ex to come fight you in a Wendy's parking lot that's a big red flag that should be dealt with immediately. And by dealt with I mean you should never drink again for the rest of your life.

12. How many YouTube videos have you commented on in the last month?
There are bad people, terrible people, evil people, then there's YouTube commenters. The scariest part is they could be sitting next to you at any moment and you'd have no idea. These monsters are just walking around amongst us and while they may look ordinary, something sinister lingers deep inside. Don't get tricked into loving one of these monsters. You deserve better. The world deserves better. <3

13. Have you ever laughed out loud at a Madea movie?

Maybe one of you likes reading books and the other one is emotionally invested in episodes of "The Real Housewives of Orange County." It's good to get these things out of the way from the beginning so you know if your jokes are going to be appreciated or if you should just shake your keys in front of their face and watch them laugh and applaud with joy.

14. Are you an idiot?
If this conversation could take place in an honest and open way from the start of a relationship, then idiots could pair up with each other and run into the woods together while the rest of us hung out in functioning relationships that didn't feel like running headfirst into a brick wall while Avril Lavigne's greatest hits played in the background every day of your life. If your significant other loves Avril Lavigne, we both already know this isn't going to end well.

 

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Popular Japanese Hot Spring Closed Because of Too Many Orgies

June 5, 2015, 5:52 am

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It seems like some people were bathing in water with a few unwanted minerals.

According to The Guardian, one of Japan's most popular hot springs has been drained thanks to a group of perverts who were supposed to be using the secluded onsen for bathing, but were instead using it to have orgies.


Fudo no Yu had existed since the late 1860s, but it's no longer open after almost a year's worth of complaints from local residents and witnesses regarding a number of "lewd acts," some of which were filmed and posted online.

That was apparently all fine and dandy, but it was the recent string of weekend orgies featuring "15 middle-aged men and several younger women" that finally forced officials to close the bath that was part of the popular Shiobara onsen resort.

The hot spring was only nine feet in diameter and could only hold a maximum of 10 people at one time, but it was its panoramic views amongst a mountain forest setting that drew large crowds.

And it was probably the fact that there was no caretaker onsite as well as an "honesty box" for payment that drew such a large number of group humpers.

It looks like there is going to be a huge orgy in this season of "True Detective" too: 'True Detective' Cast Porn Stars for a Huge Orgy Scene

 

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